Chapter 41 Cozy, family-indispensable atmosphere

In the vast world, all living beings, except for those who see through the world and become monks, everyone will have a home.When it comes to home, people will involuntarily feel a little warmth and a sense of happiness. It is impossible not to.Whether single-employee or dual-employee, they work in various places such as government agencies, schools, companies, factories, shops, etc. during the day.Whether it is mental work or physical work, you will pay a lot of strength, deal with intricate situations, meet people with different personalities, and sometimes you will be exhausted.There is a saying: "If you don't like it, it's always eighty-nine." Where can everything make you happy?After get off work, like a tired bird returning to its nest, I return to my home exhausted and full of joy.This is a real place to live, where the main thing one looks for is warmth.If you have parents, you can ask the old people about their health, and both the young and old will feel warm; if you have children, you can talk with them, and both parents and children will feel warm;At that time, the tiredness of working hard on both physical and mental aspects during the day, occasional resentment in the heart, occasional setbacks in work or competition, a little nail in dealing with affairs or in interpersonal relationships, etc., will disappear in smoke. , Instead, it is a harmonious pleasure.In short, what I feel is the warmth that cannot be expressed in any words.

You can also dress up in wild clothes and walk around freely.The false mask that you sometimes have to wear outside during the day can be completely thrown off.Some have to put on airs in order to be able to adapt to the so-called politeness in dealing with advances and retreats, and all of them can be thrown away, and you will return to your original colors, smooth and unobstructed, and purely true self.Is there anything more joyful in the world than this?All of this from the true warmth of the home. However, is every family warm and natural, within easy reach?No, no, absolutely not.Although there are husband-wife relationships, parent-child relationships, and blood ties in a family, all these relationships cannot guarantee that a warm atmosphere will inevitably appear.As the saying goes, pots and pans collide.Everyone has different tempers, different hobbies, different habits, and different beliefs. Moreover, people are living people, and their emotions change from time to time, and their emotions are unstable, especially in front of their relatives. It's easier to show it.Sometimes there are differences of opinion over trivial matters as big as sesame seeds and mung beans, and they can't be handled properly, which can also cause quarrels.Every day we spend time together, no one can guarantee that this will not happen.

So what should we do?From my personal point of view, it is extremely difficult to deal with such a family matter that is difficult for an upright official to decide, but it is also easy to say that it is not difficult.As long as the two words "truth" and "forbearance" can be achieved, although it is not right, it is not far away. "True" means true love. Those who "forbear" are also tolerant.I summed it up into a few catchphrases: love each other, be sincere to each other, understand each other, tolerate each other, show true feelings, have no selfishness, have a harmonious family, and have endless fun.

Some people may not understand why I emphasize tolerance to such a high level.You know, tolerance is one of the Chinese virtues.Most of our sages and sages taught us to be tolerant.There is also a lot of tolerance in folk proverbs, which teach people to be patient.Some sayings seem to be negative, but they are actually positive, such as "bear the burden of humiliation". Han Xin is a famous example. "Book of Tang" records that Zhang Gongyi lived together with the ninth generation. Tang Gaozong asked him the way to harmonize his family. Gongyi wrote more than 100 characters of "forbearance" and handed it to the emperor.Since then, most of those surnamed Zhang have called themselves "the voice of the family of Bairen".Buddhism also places great emphasis on the essence of patience, and there are many stories of patience and humiliation in the scriptures.As the saying goes: "Small intolerance will lead to great chaos." In the family, it is "small intolerance will cause chaos in the family."Between husband and wife, parents, and children, sometimes it is inevitable to have different opinions. If one party loses his temper, you let him (her) calm down the storm.When he (she) has a balanced mind, he will admit his mistake.At this time, if you are not calm and angry, you may move your mouth if you are at least, or your hands if you are serious, and you may eventually go to court and declare a divorce, wouldn't it be a pity!The same happens between parents, brothers and sisters.As a result, a well-established family will fall apart.This will affect your temporary emotions at the slightest level, and at the most serious level will affect your life prospects.Am I being alarmist?

In short, warmth is an indispensable atmosphere in the family, and warmth needs to be cultivated.The way of cultivation does not include two ends, one is true and the other is forbearance. October 23, 1998