Chapter 65 Chapter Four

In the past half month, there was another incident that deeply shook Jiang Tao's heart.This is Zhang Li's death. The news of Zhang Li's sacrifice was not known to Jiang Tao until the next night.After the fierce battle the day before, both the enemy and the enemy spent a day adjusting their deployment, so that the situation on the battlefield the next day was relatively calm.After dark, Jiang Tao ordered Zhao Yong, the deputy head of the 632 Heights, to dispatch an armed rescue team from the 1st Battalion to the cedar forest in the valley east of the 634 Heights, and take Chen Guoqing, the instructor of the 3rd Battalion of the C Regiment, and the soldiers he brought with him. Snatch it back with the remains of the migrant workers.During the execution of the task, no one found that there were women among the martyrs, but at 11:30 in the middle of the night, an officer who dealt with the funeral of the martyrs in the S County Martyrs Cemetery called Maoerling and reported that they had just arrived from the new Among the martyrs, Zhang Li, a female military doctor in the division hospital, was found!

It was as if a thunderbolt suddenly sounded above Jiang Tao's head!He couldn't believe it was true. After repeatedly questioning the officer, he tried his best to suppress the trembling all over his body. He called the third dressing room of the Division Hospital in the north of the 631 highland, and then called the third battalion headquarters on the 631 highland. , It was very difficult to find out: Zhang Li really went to the 632 Highland area yesterday afternoon!At this moment, he thought that he should ask the Third Battalion of C Regiment again—Zhang Li went to them in the end, and the battalion should know about her situation after her arrival—but he couldn’t hold the microphone!He already believed the bad news: Zhang Li was sacrificed!

Zhang Li, the Zhang Li who gave him so much love and joy, who was happily running in the sunny forest the morning before yesterday, Zhang Li, who was full of youthful vigor and beauty, died and did not exist anymore!No, it's impossible!He can't believe it! He insisted on making the last call to the 3rd Battalion of Regiment C—this unit had been withdrawn to Maoerling for standby—the battalion commander Xiao Bin confirmed what he still suspected: yesterday afternoon, a female military doctor accompanied the Camp instructor Chen Guoqing went to the cedar forest at the bottom of the valley on the east side of the 634 highland!At this point, his last ray of hope is extinguished like a candle in the wind!

Zhang Li is dead!Putting down the phone receiver, Jiang Tao stood stiffly on the spot, that terrible trembling was spreading violently all over his body and continued!He had no choice but to accept the sudden and terrifying reality in his heart, and the initial shock and suspicion turned into a deeper level of terror.The reason why he was shocked was because he could think of any other people's sacrifices, but he never thought that Zhang Li would sacrifice, because she could not sacrifice at all (as long as she didn't go to the battlefield); , he has dimly realized the responsibility he should bear!The deeper pain caused by this is: Zhang Li has already sacrificed, and he will never have the opportunity to correct his mistakes!

It was a long, unusual night that made Jiang Tao's heart beating.First, the news of Zhang Li's death came suddenly, and then Zhao Yong from the 632 Highland area reported to him that a new enemy situation had been discovered in front of the 634 Highland!The former caused him to fall into great pain, and the latter woke him up from the pain: the war is not over, and every mountain, every mountain leg, every gully, and every piece of seemingly ordinary in the Qipanling area is actually possible. The grove where the enemy is hiding is still weighing heavily on his shoulders, and he can no longer lose it.At least for now, he can't let Zhang Li's death distract him too much!

He used the telephone to command Zhao Yong and the artillery group of the division and regiment, and defeated the enemy's new counterattack against the 634 Heights of Tianzi Mountain.That night, he didn't let himself think about Zhang Li anymore, but at the same time, he also understood the reason why he didn't think about Zhang Li: You are afraid of taking on the responsibility you should bear!Jiang Tao didn't allow himself to think in that direction, so he couldn't help but think of other things: After Zhang Li died, what should he do for her?He quickly made it clear: Zhang Li's death would definitely remind some people of his "relationship" with her before the war. Today, even if it was just for the deceased himself, he could not express too much grief for Zhang Li's death.Let those rumors about him and her disappear by themselves, let people only remember that Zhang Li is a heroine who volunteered to go to the battlefield!In fact, she is indeed such a heroine!

He understood why he thought this way: he wanted to try his best to avoid Zhang Li's death.He wanted to keep a distance between himself and Zhang Li's death.In the following days, even in front of insiders such as Yin Guocai, Jiang Tao never took the initiative to mention Zhang Li, and vice versa, Yin Guocai and others seemed to understand his heart, and never mentioned Zhang Li's name and her name in front of him. die.Jiang Tao did nothing for Zhang Li, but he did the most important thing for her: the rumors of sex before the war were never brought up again. Jiang Tao's own reputation has also been cleared: Many people today not only regard him as a war hero, but also as a war hero who suffered from unfair public opinion before the war and has a more attractive image!

But deep down, he didn't succeed in doing so.He found that it was impossible for him to really forget Zhang Li.Although the relationship between him and Zhang Li has not reached the stage of discussing marriage, although he did not give her any promises when he left her in Maoerling, and she left Maoerling late that night at his own request, he It is still not clear that Zhang Li's departure and sacrifice are directly related to him.In those late nights when the gunshots were silent in the forward positions, Jiang Tao recalled all the past events between the two of them bit by bit, and he saw Zhang Li's death and his own responsibility more clearly. "... After dating for half a year, you actually understand in your heart that she loves you, even though she doesn't ask to marry you. You just don't understand that she would regard your love as more precious than life....It was you before the war You left her in Maoerling, but from noon to late at night that day, you kept courting the female reporter who had just arrived... You and the female reporter even walked into the woods behind the command tent together, and almost did something worse. It's a ridiculous thing... Zhang Li walked out of her tent after that and proposed to leave Mao'erling. Before she left, she wanted to see you for the last time, but you refused. In that situation, she couldn't help but love her Make an unfavorable explanation... The truth is: she loves you so infatuatedly, once she finds that you have moved on, she goes to the battlefield with her own despair. She bids farewell to love and life The idea of ​​going to the battlefield... As for yourself, before Bai Fan arrived, after hearing He Yan's words, you meant to end your relationship with her and drive her away from Mao'erling. It is this kind of malice In addition to your vanity, it made you approach Bai Fan.... You are the real cause of her death!"

This kind of thinking and severe spiritual whipping produced two results: First, it was after Zhang Li left Maoerling and died heroically that Jiang Tao realized that he still loved her deeply!Zhang Li has died, and the rumors about him and her can no longer be a trouble in his life, the love for Zhang Li has clearly and completely appeared in his consciousness, and Zhang Li's death has doubled his feelings A pain like the loss of a loved one. "... Has anyone ever loved me like Zhang Li? No. Has anyone ever given me as much joy and spiritual comfort as Zhang Li? ... No, the real question is, has anyone made me Do I love her more than Zhang Li? No! If it weren’t for those utilitarian purposes and vanity, would I really not want to marry Zhang Li as my wife?...No!” These painful thoughts lead to another One result: Jiang Tao found that any contact he had with the female reporter today became a terrible and abominable thing, and although Bai Fan was still in Maoerling, he seemed to be unforgivable because of what happened before the war and on the first night of the war. He tried his best to avoid meeting him.But Jiang Tao still sees her every day, whenever he sees her, he can't help but think of Zhang Li, the existence of Bai Fan has finally become his daily inner torture. "...you deserve this torture," he would often say to himself with loathing, "your mistake was that you knew neither war nor love, nor You don't know how to cherish other people's lives. When you understand all this, Zhang Li will no longer be alive!"

The war did not give him much time for this kind of thinking.From time to time, the sound of gunfire from the forward positions would suddenly explode when he had just fallen into a fierce and painful self-condemnation, bringing him back to the battlefield.The battle is still going on, and people are dying every day on the battlefield.Zhang Li died, and I will die at any time. "...after the death of such a good woman as Zhang Li, it is unfair and ugly for people like me to live in the world." He thought angrily, turning his attention to the battle taking place in the forward position , "I'm going to the ××× high ground now. If I die there today, I will not regret it!... Today I can only use this method to atone for Zhang Li!"

With such a mentality, he ushered in the day when the whole regiment was evacuated from the battlefield.He didn't expect that before the whole regiment started to act at ten o'clock in the evening, the officer of the political department who dealt with the funeral of the martyrs in the cemetery came to Mao'erling to report on his work, and brought him another letter from Zhang Li! As soon as he glanced at the envelope, Jiang Tao's expression changed drastically! "Where did this come from?" he asked sternly. "It was discovered while cleaning up the relics of the martyrs." "... Are there any other relics?" "No. Just a suicide note." He waved the secretary away, hurried back to the "bedroom" letter, quickly browsed through it, tears poured out immediately and opened the unsealed letter. He hadn't thought of her much these days.Frontier battles are too frequent!She seemed to be alive and knew of it, so she sent him a letter on this special night! In his original imagination, she must have harbored resentment towards him when she left Maoerling and went to the battlefield!I just realized today that until the end, what she poured out to him was still love!The only difference is: this time she said what was in her heart - she wanted to marry him! At this moment Jiang Tao stood firmly, not letting himself think too much about the significance of this letter.Although the regiment was about to withdraw from the battlefield, he still refused to believe that he had no chance to die from the pain and regret until the night was over.Since he still has a chance to atone for Zhang Li, he won't let himself think about it too much! It's ten o'clock.Jiang Tao walked into the "hall" and presided over the evacuation of the whole group.It was a little late at night, and he was relieved that the battalions had basically withdrawn from their positions safely.At 3:50 in the morning, the commander of the Second Battalion suddenly reported to him from the foot of the northern mountain of Highland 342 that a platoon of the Fourth Company was still stranded in the forward position at the bottom of the valley in the south of the highland and did not withdraw. One thought: that possibility still exists!Jiang Tao immediately ordered the Second Battalion Commander to form a team, and he personally took it to meet the platoon of the Fourth Company! During the whole journey from Maoerling to the bottom of the valley in the south of Highland 342, he never thought of Zhang Li again!When he commanded the troops to fight against the enemy's harassment on the bottom of the valley, he didn't let himself think of her and her letter.However, when he led his troops safely off Qipanling and came to the bottom of the northern canyon of Highland 342, when he looked up at the gloomy forest and the clear sky above the forest that had a new meaning to him, he had to look again. Thinking of Zhang Li and her letter, and deeply painful for it! ——Until the end, this war only let him escape from death, and did not give him a chance to redeem Zhang Li! He was still in the war just now, but now he walked into the peaceful sky!He still had to live, and this matter was not only difficult in his feelings, but it had never been thought about during the war!