Chapter 16 Chapter 4 Mania and Sublimation-6

Cupid's Forgery - Sexual Diversity The way love is realized is very different.Love has its own image for each lover.It describes the richness or poverty, intensity or vulnerability, balance or instability of an individual's life, and the combined characteristics of each mental state. In love, the relationship between emotional winds and intellectual calm, between "mad" flames and intellectual calm, is also influenced by geography.Although this is not the main factor, we do not fully agree with the social geography school's point of view, but this factor does play a role.Observation data show that the ethnic groups living in the north are more able to control love with reason, and their love is more crystal clear, clear and peaceful.In the countries of the South, love is a madness of emotion, a turbulent, burning passion.The above situation can be confirmed by examples found in the treasure house of folk literature and images in literary works.Because in love, also due to geographical reasons, psychological, national characteristics, and ideological characteristics will be very different and manifest the most prominently.

For example, there is a typical northern (Icelandic) fairy tale about a girl named Helja standing on a bare cliff, looking into the distance with concern.Suddenly she spotted a "handsome and extraordinary young man".His "blue eyes looked at her affectionately".Later they met and talked.Helga stretched out her arms to the stranger, who turned out to be the king of the nymphs.Helga fell in love with him, and they were married.Then lived a peaceful and comfortable family life: "In the evening, when Helga was lying on the moss, the magical king of the fairy kings of the forest sat down beside her, and he picked up the lyre and played beautiful songs." A pure, "Arctic" love.

Ibsen said that love is a flower that grows forever "beneath the snow and ice".Harmony and purity, music and longing, this is the essence of love.So what are the fairy tales of the South about? They portray love as a great passion, mad enough to destroy.There is no quiet love to be found there, no smooth development of emotion.Passion travels like lightning.All fell desperately in love in an instant.Almost all the stories in the book end in this way.Full of wonderful love fantasies, full of southern passion, and fiery emotions that are not restrained by reason are the characteristics of southern love.

Among the various factors of love, climatic conditions affect a person's temperament.According to Ferrero, southern peoples develop intimacy differently than northern peoples.He said in the book "Love in Latin and Germanic Civilization": "The love of the southerners is mainly to appreciate the physical beauty of women and hope to taste the beauty of this body. Germanic love is mainly satisfied with the same Loved ones live and labor together in order to bring loved ones . . . joy." Southerners "love with their emotions," while northerners love with their "heads."Southerners are slaves to "crazy emotions," while northerners use their thoughts to control their emotions.Love in the north has more reason, and love in the south has more emotion and more passion.

Ferrero writes: "In general, a Southerner who leaves his beloved, even for a short time, is in a state of despair, because his love constantly demands immediate sensuality, whereas a German or The Englishman can go long distances from his lover ... without feeling lost ... he is content with the pleasures of his imagination." Love is the measure of cultural accomplishment.The petty bourgeois love is vulgar, lacks imagination, and does not go beyond sensual enjoyment.Goethe imbued his ardent love with spiritual beauty and powerful wisdom.Kazanova never tires of talking about "the fragrance of a woman" in her memoirs.Pushkin used love to create a delightful wonderland.

The many forms of love are also concretely manifested in the unusual way of its production.Turgenev described the elusiveness of love with poetic brushstrokes.Through Luo Ting's mouth, he said: "Love! Everything about it is mysterious: how it arises, how it develops, and how it disappears. Sometimes it comes suddenly, it is so certain, it is as happy as the day; sometimes it is like The coals burn beneath the ashes, and when all is consumed, it burns aflame in the heart; sometimes it enters like a snake, and sometimes it disappears suddenly." Long ago, Shakespeare sang of love in this way: 

tell me where love grows Is it still in the mind? Or is it in the atrium? How does it happen? How does it grow? Answer me, answer me. The fire of love is lit in the eyes, The gaze is the nourishment of the love life, Its cradle is its tomb. ① (① "The Complete Works of Shakespeare" People's Literature Publishing House, 1978, Volume 3, p. 54.) Is there a scientific way to determine when love takes place? In this respect, science faces a psychological conundrum.It is impossible to put changes in people's eyes and emotions into test tubes and take them to the laboratory for testing.

Love is mostly based on intuition.It gently plucks the most delicate chords of people.How can a man know if love has come to his heart? Love usually begins with a multitude of strange, startling emotions and complex emotions.Among the many emotions and moods, there is one that plays a leading role.The first manifestation of love is intoxication.Its clear radiance even shines into dreams. A man cannot fall in love without experiencing the thrill of intoxication, and that is how Daphnis and Heloa began their love affair.At first, two young shepherds lived on the island of Lesbos, but they were just two friends.One day Heloa suddenly began to look at Daphnis with a different look.She was amazed and suddenly found that he was beautiful.She was intoxicated.It is this intoxication that "becomes the beginning of love," writes Longos in his novel.

Doctors often say that there is no disease, only patients.Sexologists can also say: love itself does not exist, only lovers.Falling in love is different for everyone, and everyone responds differently.Some are ignited with great hope, some are full of sorrow, some sing loudly, some are depressed, some are ecstatic, and there are many people who don't think about eating and drinking.Most people who fall in love often sigh and sigh.The ancient Roman writer Apuleius said wisely in his novel "The Story of the Golden Donkey": "You stagger, often hesitate, you are pale, and you sigh, and what's more, you cry twice. Your eyes are red and swollen, which means you have a lot of lovesickness."

Goethe believed that a woman's mood does not need to be analyzed theoretically, but can be guessed by feeling alone.Werther, who was in depression, wrote to Lotte: "Oh, I know you love me, from the first glance you cast affectionately, from the first handshake, I know..." Romain Rolland's characters Jacqueline and Olivier are giddy with love; they hug each other, weeping and "listening to music".Jacqueline "sit there for a long time... all curled up, holding her breath, not daring to move, for fear that if she moves, happiness will be frightened away." Love comes and goes quietly.

Love sometimes brings an elusive ease into a state of purification and carelessness.Human agency suddenly ground to a halt.Man simply does not know what he wants, what to do.This is the case, for example, with Daphnis and Heloa. "They were happy when they met, but sad when they parted; they were looking forward to it, but they didn't know what to look forward to..." This elusive, hopeful state is characteristic of first love, and it takes on a variety of colours.Romain Rolland's character Jacqueline sees love "like an abyss unfolding at her feet" when she is in love.Desperately, she asked herself, "Why? Why do I love him? What's going on? Do I really love him?" She didn't know... she only knew a little; love possessed her, filled her. " When a person is fascinated by someone of the opposite sex, he is in love.What the beholder sees is the beauty, perfection, incomparable character and virtue of the beloved.The promise of love is his happiness and joy. So what is the natural development of love? Is it true that all love has an enviable and wonderful ending? The Russian psychologist Sechenov pointed out that there are "three natural stages" in the development of complete love.Initially, young men and women create a perfect image for themselves.What is actually a necessary prerequisite for personal love is to endure torture in the kingdom of fantasy.The young men seem to see the figure of the "princess" shining in the sky in their dreams, calling to themselves frequently; the young women look forward to their wishing Prince Charming day and night. The moment of longing and longing has finally arrived.The lad suddenly meets a woman who fits all his criteria.When describing the emotional changes of this happy young man, Sechenov said: "In our opinion, he is linking his passionate ideal with the image in reality. This is the so-called Platonic love. In this love , the sexual characteristics are still very weak, because alongside the vivid and at the same time strong visual and auditory sensations, there is only a vague and still vague sexual desire." Sechenov affirmed that there is "sexual desire" in the first necessary stage of love.This desire is very timid, has not yet been fully expressed, and is deeply "hidden". The second stage is the stage of passion and love.Sechenov describes it this way: "From then on the man begins to possess the ideal lover. His passion burns brighter and brighter, because the vague sexual desire is now replaced by a clear and disturbing love." It was completely replaced by the feeling, and the woman also showed a brilliance that had never been seen before.” Time passed day after day, year after year.Even in the "happy" situation where both men and women complement each other, the raging, blazing passion loses its previous strength.At this time love develops into the third stage.Emotions have become calmer.Sechenov wrote: "The reason lies in this law: the intensity of passion can only be maintained by the constantly changing image of passionate love. Year after year of similarity and familiarity, all possible changes that may occur between the two parties have long been exhausted. The intensity of passion also slowly fades away. But love does not perish.... The image of the woman is so to speak united with all the activity of the man's heart, so that she has in fact become the other half of himself. This is habitual love , that is, friendship." He also asserted that if a person has passed through "all the natural stages of complete love," "it will be very difficult for him to fall in love again."If a new "passion" arises, it means that the previous "passion" has not been satisfied. Why does the flower of love wither? Why does the fire of love suddenly go out? Why does the joy of the festival turn into the mediocrity of life? Which demon covers people's eyes and quietly extinguishes the starlight of happiness? Is it true that love is fleeting and life is not long? Arshin Zlatarov wrote: "Love is so delicate, and sometimes tenderness makes it unavoidable to be hurt. Loneliness gradually corrodes the light of love and gradually dims. At this time, indifference will arise, followed by It is disappointment. The golden and transparent flame of love will die down quickly like in a fairy tale. The beautiful excitement will be replaced unconsciously by the heavy cloud of trouble." So how can we prevent the loneliness that destroys everything? The only antidote is to be good at observing everything like meeting for the first time, rediscovering the known, and constantly looking for new passions.To keep revisiting the beauty of the same thing, to feel a perpetual emotional "hunger", to feel an infinite intoxicating joy in being in touch with beauty. Love not only requires the quality of the loved one to be constant, but also requires this quality to be plastic and constantly refurbished.It respects beautiful traditions and customs, but it is also full of ideal beauty, longing for the perfection of life, and longing for the permanent continuation of the relationship between the two parties. What is the secret of eternal love?To a large extent, it is rooted in the vitality and continuous development of personality charm.Happiness will be destroyed by stagnation, turning clear and transparent living water into a pool of stagnant water, and turning joy and obsession into trouble and sorrow.The thriving life of love will be slaughtered by the monotony of life, and the golden pattern of longing will be gone. The lack of unforgettable emotional content and spiritual essence will devalue love.The French writer Daudet described this kind of absurd and hypocritical false love in the novel "Little Brother Fromon and Elder Brother Lesley".He wrote: "Risley expresses his love in an absurd way; he teases his wife like a rag doll, sometimes twisting her face or touching her chin, sometimes 'woof, woof' barking and walking round her, or staring at her with large begging eyes like a faithful and docile watchdog. She was ashamed of this foolish form of love, which took her Turned into a pottery." Only a rich spiritual life can prevent the degradation of intimacy.Otherwise, love will embark on unpredictable confusion.