Chapter 7 Sex is a way to completely escape from the self

Why is your mind full of sex? Because sex is a way of completely escaping from the self, because it is utterly selfless.Temporarily, at least for that moment, you can forget "self" -- and you have no other way to forget yourself. Q: We know that sex is a biological and psychological need that seems to be at the root of the chaos in our personal lives in this day and age.It is terrifying for a young woman to fall prey to a man's lust.Repression and addiction are useless.How should we approach this issue? K: Why is there always a problem no matter what we touch? We have made God a problem, we have made love a problem, we have also made relationships, life a problem, we have made sex a problem.Why? Why is everything we do problematic and horrible? Why are we suffering? Why is sex a problem? Why are we willing to live with problems? Why don’t we end this? We Why not just let them go and carry them day after day, year after year? Yes, sex is a problem, but the main question is: why do we make life a problem? Work, sex, money, thinking , feelings, experiences—you know, this thing about life—why is it a problem? Isn’t it because we always think about things from a specific and fixed point of view? We always think from the center to the periphery, but this periphery is the center of most of us, so anything we touch is superficial; but life is not superficial, it demands wholeness.Because we only live superficially, we only know superficial reactions, so whatever we do on the periphery must inevitably create problems, and this is our life - we live in the superficial, and we are satisfied , superficially live with all problems.

So problems arise as long as we live superficially on the periphery—the periphery being the "I" and its sensations, which can be objective or subjective, and which can be identified with the universe, the state, or things of the mind.So, as long as we live in the realm of appearances, there must be complications, there must be problems, and that's what we know.The mind is a feeling, the result of accumulated feelings and reactions, and whatever it touches, there is bound to be misery, confusion, endless problems.This mind is the real cause of our problems and it works day and night, both consciously and unconsciously.The mind is the most superficial of things, and we have spent generations—our lives—cultivating the mind, making it smarter, subtler, cunning, twisted and erratic. Honesty - Each of these is evident in our lives.The essence of our mind becomes dishonest, distorted, unable to face the truth, the mind creates problems, the mind is the problem itself.

Now, what does the question of sex mean? Is it behavior? Or thoughts about behavior? Of course, it is not behavior.Sex is not a problem for you any more than eating is a problem: but if you think about eating all day because you have nothing else to think about, it is.So, is sex the problem? Or is the thought the problem? Why do you want to? Why do you create the problem? Those movies, the magazines, the stories, the way other people dress, everything creates your thoughts about sex.Why does the mind make it? Why does the mind keep thinking about sex? Why does sex become the single most important thing in your life? You give your full attention to sex when there are so many things that demand your attention.Why is your mind full of sex? Because sex is a way of completely escaping from the self, because it is utterly selfless.Temporarily, at least for that moment, you can forget "self" -- and you have no other way to forget yourself.Everything you do in life emphasizes the "I," the self.Your career, your religion, your gods, your leaders, your political and economic activities, your evasions, your socializing, your joining one political party, rejecting another—all are emphasized and intensified "I".That is, there is only one activity that does not emphasize the "I," so it becomes a problem.When there is only one thing in your life from which you can escape, even for a few seconds, you will approach it because it is the only time you can be happy.Other things become nightmares, a source of misery, so you cling to this one thing that makes you completely forget yourself, which you call happiness.But when you depend on it, it can also become a nightmare, because you want to escape from it, you don't want to be its slave.So, again, you develop a pure, ascetic belief in your mind, and you want to be abstinent, chaste, through repression, denial, meditation, or through various religious exercises, to sever the relationship between the mind and reality .This practice again emphasizes the "I", the "I" who is unwilling to be alone; so, again, you are in pain, trouble and struggle.

Sex becomes a very difficult and complicated problem as long as you do not understand the mind that is thinking about it.The sexuality itself is not the problem, but the thoughts about the sexuality create the problem.You protect this behavior, and in marriage, you indulge yourself.Of course, problems can only be solved when you understand the whole process and structure of "me" and "mine": my wife, my husband, my children, my property, my car, my achievements, My success; and until you understand and solve all the problems, sex will still be a problem.As long as you are ambitious - politically, religiously or in any way - as long as you are egoistic, thinker, experiencer, feed it with ambition, whether in your own name or in the name of the nation, Or in the name of political parties, religious beliefs, as long as there is any kind of self-aggrandizing activity, you will have sexual problems.

Indeed, on the one hand you are creating, nurturing, and growing yourself; on the other hand, you are trying to forget yourself, if only for a moment.How do these two coexist? So, your life is contradictory: emphasize "I" and forget "I".Sex is not the problem, the problem is these contradictions in your life, and these contradictions cannot be resolved by the mind, because the mind itself is also contradictory.Understanding paradox is only possible when you fully understand the process of your everyday existence.Watching movies, reading books that stimulate the mind, reading magazines with half-naked pictures, the way you look at other people, those cunning eyes that catch you—all these things are encouraging the mind to emphasize itself by roundabout methods; while at the same time, You try to be kind, loving, and gentle.The two cannot coexist.

Ambitious people, spiritual or otherwise, cannot be without problems, and problems disappear only when self is forgotten, when "I" does not exist.And this state of non-existence is not a reaction of the will, it is more than a reaction.Sex becomes a reaction, and when the mind tries to solve the problem, it only makes the problem more confusing, more troublesome, more painful.So this kind of behavior is not a problem, but a problem with the mind - the mind thinks that one must be pure.Purity is not of the heart either.The mind only suppresses its own activity, and suppression is not purity.Purity is not a virtue either, and it cannot be cultivated.He who cultivates humility is not a humble man; he may call his pride humble, but he is still a proud man, and that is why he seeks humility.Pride cannot become humble, and purity is not a matter of the heart - you cannot "become" pure.You will know purity only when you love.And love is not of the soul, nor is it a product of the soul.

Therefore, the problem of sex afflicts countless people all over the world, and this problem can only be solved after understanding the mind.We cannot stop thinking, but thinking ends when the thinker stops, and the thinker stops only when he understands the whole process.Fear arises when there is a disagreement between the thinker and his thought; there is no conflict of thought only when there is no thinker.The implications of this do not require any effort to understand.The thinker enters man through thought, and then the thinker strives to take shape, to control his thoughts, or to stop thinking.The thinker is an imaginary entity, a phantom of the mind.When you understand that thoughts are facts, there is no need to think about facts.

If there is pure, non-selective awareness, the implications of those facts will automatically reveal themselves.So fact ends thought.Then you will find that the problems that corrode our hearts and minds, the problems of the social structure can be solved.Then sex is no longer a problem, it has its proper place, it is neither impure nor pure. Sex has its place, but when the mind gives it prominence, it becomes problematic.The mind gives prominence to sex because it cannot live without some pleasure, so sex becomes a problem; but when the mind understands its whole process, it comes to an end.That is, when thinking stops, there is creation, and it is this creation that makes us happy.To be in the state of creation is a bliss, because it is a kind of ecstasy, that is, a reaction without ego.This isn't an abstract answer to everyday sex problems -- it's the only answer.The heart refuses to love, and without love there is no purity.It is because without love you make sex a problem.

Q: Love, as we know and experience it, is a union between two people or a group; it is exclusive and includes both pain and joy.When you say that love is the only solution to life's problems, what you mean by that word is difficult for us to experience.In your sense, can an ordinary person like me understand love? K: Everyone can understand love, but only when you can see the fact very clearly, without resistance, without justification, without explanation -- just looking carefully, observing clearly in detail.So what is it that we call love? The questioner says it is exclusive, and in love we know that there is pain and joy.Is love unique? When we examine, we must find out what ordinary people call love.There are no ordinary people, there are only people, that is you and me, and the so-called ordinary people are imaginary entities invented by politicians.There are only people - you and me in sorrow, pain, anxiety and fear.

And what is our life? To find out what love is, let's start with what we know.What is our love? Between pain and pleasure, we know it is exclusive and personal: my wife, my children, my country, my God.We know it like a fire in smoke, we know it through envy, we know it through domination, we know it through possession, we know it through loss when the other is gone. So, we know love is a feeling, don’t we? When we love, we know jealousy, we know fear, we know anxiety.When you say you love someone, it means: envy, possessiveness, dominance, fear of loss, etc.All this we call love, and without fear, without envy, without possession, we do not know love: we have always put into words love without fear, which we call objective, pure, divine, or God knows Anything else, but the truth is we are jealous, bossy, possessive.

We know that there is love only when jealousy, envy, possession and domination are over.And as long as we possess, we cannot love. The desire to envy, to possess, to hate, to dominate someone or something, what we call 'mine', this desire to possess and to be possessed - are all processes of thought, aren't they? Is love a process of thought? Love A product of the mind? Actually, for most of us, yes.Don't say it isn't - it's pointless.Do not deny that your love is a product of the mind.Indeed, otherwise, you would not possess, you would not dominate, you would not say, "It's mine," even if you did say it. So love for you is a product of the mind, a process of thought.You can think about the person you love, but is it love when you "think about the person you love"? When do you think about the person you love? When she is gone, after leaving, you think about her.But when she stops bothering you, when you can say "she's mine," you don't have to think about her anymore.You don't have to think about your furniture, it's a part of you - it's a process of identification, so stay out of the way, trouble, anxiety and sadness.So, only when you are disturbed, when you suffer, do you think about the person you love; and as long as you possess a person, you don't have to think about him, because possession means no disturbance.But when possession is disturbed, you start thinking, and you say, "I love that person." So, your love is just a reaction of thought, isn't it? - which means that your love is just a feeling, and the feeling It is indeed not love.Do you think about the people you are close to? When you own, hold, dominate, control, when you can say "she's mine" or "he's mine," there's no problem.As long as you can be sure of your possession, there is no problem.And society, all that you have built around you, helps you to possess without being disturbed, without thinking about it.When you are disturbed, you think - and when you think about so-called "love", you are disturbed. Indeed, love is not a product of the mind.This is because the products of the mind have filled our hearts without love.Products of the mind include jealousy, envy, ambition, the desire for fame, and the pursuit of success.These thoughts fill your heart and you say you love; but how can you love when you have these confusing elements? How can you have pure fire when there is smoke? Love is not a product of the mind, love is a solution The only way to our problem. Love is not of the heart.A man who accumulates money and knowledge never knows love, because he lives with the creations of the mind, his activities are of the mind, and whatever he touches leads to problems, confusion and misery. So, what we call love is a product of the mind.Look at yourself, and you will find that what I say is clearly true.Otherwise, our lives, marriages and relationships will be completely different, and we will have a new society.We are not connected by fusion, but by contract, which is called love and marriage.Love is not fusion, adjustment - it is neither personal nor objective, it is a state of being.This man who wants to merge with something greater, to unite with others, is avoiding misery, confusion; but the mind is still divided, disintegrated.What love knows is neither fusion nor diffusion, it is neither personal nor objective, it is a state of life which the mind cannot discover - the mind can describe it, give it a name, a name, but words , description is not love. Love is understood only when the mind is quiet, and this quiet state does not need to be cultivated.Cultivation is an activity of the mind, training is a product of the mind, and a mind that trains, controls, conquers, resists, and explains cannot understand love.You can read, you can listen to what people say is love, but that is not love.There is love only when you give up the products of the mind, when there are no products of the mind in your heart.Then you will know what love is without separation, without distance, without time, without fear -- and that is not reserved for the few.Love has no class, it is the only love, and the only exception is when you don't love.When you love, there is no "you" and no "I".Only flames, no smoke. Bombay, March 12, 1950