Chapter 26 make others voluntary

No one likes to be forced into action.If you want to win another person's cooperation, ask him for his opinion and needs, and make him feel that it is voluntary. Do you have more confidence in the thoughts you discover for yourself than those that are handed to you on silver platters?Wouldn't it be a lot of work, then, if you had to force your opinion into someone else's head? Wouldn't it be smarter to make a suggestion and let someone else figure it out for themselves? In psychology, freedom is doing what you want.People like to decide their behavior according to their own wishes.If you want to win another person's cooperation, ask him for his opinion and needs, and make him feel that it is voluntary.

When Theodore Roosevelt was governor of New York, he accomplished a very special feat.He maintained good relations with the political leaders while forcing some reforms that they were very angry about.Here's how he does it: When a key post becomes vacant, he invites all political leaders to nominate a replacement. "At first," said Roosevelt, "they might propose a very bad guy, someone who needed 'care.' I told them it was not a good idea to appoint such a guy, and no one would approve of it. "Then they offered me the name of another candidate, this time an old civil servant who wanted nothing but safety and little success. I told them that this man would not live up to popular expectations, and then I asked them to see See if they can find someone who is clearly a good fit for the position.

"The candidate they suggested for the third time is not ideal. "Then I thanked them and asked them to try again and their fourth nomination was acceptable because they nominated a best candidate that I would have chosen myself. I am grateful for their assistance, Then appoint that person, and I give them credit for the appointment... I tell them that I did it to please them, and now it is their turn to please me. "And they really made me happy. They made me happy by supporting sweeping reforms like the Civil Service Bill and the Special Tax Bill." Roosevelt sought advice from others whenever he could and respected their advice.When Roosevelt named an important candidate, he made the political leaders feel that they had chosen the right person, and that it was entirely his idea.

A Long Island auto dealer, using the same technique, successfully sold a used delivery truck to a Scot. The businessman took the Scot to see one car after another, but the Scot was always dissatisfied.It doesn't fit here, it doesn't work there, and the price is too high. In this case, the businessman, who is also a student in my class, asks his classmates for help. We advised him to stop selling to the Scot and let him buy automatically.We say, don't tell the Scot how to do it, why not let him tell you how to do it?Let him feel that the person who has the idea is himself.This suggestion sounds very good.So, a few days later, when a customer wanted to trade in his old car for a new one, the businessman tried the new method.He understood that the old car might be attractive to Scots.So he called up the Scot and asked if he could come over and offer some advice.After the Scotsman came, the car dealer said, "You are a very smart buyer, you know the value of the car. Can you please take a look at this car, try its performance, and then tell me how much this car should be paid for?" A good deal?" The Scotsman had a "satisfied smile" on his face.

At last someone came to him for advice, and his abilities were appreciated.He drove up Queen's Road from Jamaica to Mount Florest and back. "If you can buy this car for 300 yuan," he suggested, "you're doing the right thing." "If I could buy it at this price, would you buy it?" asked the businessman. 300 yuan?really.It was his idea, his estimate.The business was closed immediately. The best way to change another's opinion is to put your idea into his mind naturally, interest him, and make him think about it often until it becomes his own. Let others feel that the method is his own idea, which can be applied not only in business, but also in politics.

Emerson said in his essay "On Myself": "In every creation and invention of genius we see ideas that we have rejected in the past. When these ideas are presented to us again, they are Looks pretty great." Colonel Edward House had great influence in domestic and international affairs during President Wilson's administration.Wilson relied much more on Colonel House's secret advice and advice than on his own cabinet. What methods did Colonel House use to influence the President?Fortunately, we know the answer because House himself revealed it to Arthur D. Holden Smith, who quoted House in an article in the Friday Evening Post.

"After getting to know the president," said House, "I have found that the best way to change one of his ideas is to make this new idea naturally in his mind, to interest him, to make himself Think of it often. The first time this worked, it was pure accident. I visited him once at the White House to press him to implement a policy that he visibly disapproved of. But a few days later, in At the dinner table, I was amazed to hear him make my suggestion his own." Did House say to him, "It wasn't your idea, it was mine?" Oh no, House wouldn't do that, he's too sophisticated.He doesn't want glory, he just wants results.So he let Wilson go on thinking it was his idea.House even went a step further to give Wilson public credit for these suggestions.

And let's remember that the people we're dealing with tomorrow are as humanly vulnerable as Wilson, so let's use House's technique. So, as an effective leader, if you want to persuade others, you want to influence others to accept your ideas, to change others without hurting feelings or causing hatred, you have to remember the twenty-fifth technique: "Let the other person feel that the idea is his own."