Chapter 16 Section VI

Xiaoxing came to my house that night. The doorbell rang, and when he opened the door, Xiao Xing was standing outside the door.She was still in her uniform, with the watch I had given her on her left wrist, and in her right hand was carrying an old, wrinkled paper bag. "The bag is broken." She didn't look at me.As if seeing something ridiculously large, her gaze was unfocused, her eyes just wide open in emptiness. "bag……" Xiao Xing ignored me who was confused and approached me. "It's all your fault." I don't understand her words at all. "It's all your fault that the bag broke."

She suddenly handed me the paper bag.I peeped in with inexplicable anxiety.Inside was a photograph and a brooch in the shape of a butterfly.Xiaoxing pushed the paper bag to my chest.There are three people in the photo, and the one standing in the middle is Xiaoxing when he was a child.On her right is her mother.On the left is a thin man whom I have never seen before.The two stood as if protecting Xiaoxing's smile from both sides, and they themselves were smiling very gently. "Papa and Mama." I look up. "The brooch they gave me for my tenth birthday. Mum picked it out, Dad bought it."

What is she trying to say?What happened?What if the bag is broken? — I looked at the bag again.She said it was broken because of me.But I have never seen this bag, and this bag is not broken anywhere. "It's just broken." She started saying things I couldn't understand again.Then she rushed over and pressed her cold lips to mine.She grabbed my shirt with both hands and pulled me towards her with all her might.Her warm tongue flicked violently in my mouth.Because she was too forceful, someone's lip was broken, and the taste of blood mixed with saliva.I breathed Xiaoxing's breath and felt a feeling similar to terror.

Suddenly, Xiaoxing retracted his body as if he had thrown me down. "this is for you." There were tears in her eyes and blood on her lips.She wiped it with her hands, and her white hands were stained red with blood. "Goodbye." After leaving the last sentence, she turned around, her back still straight as usual.The door swung slowly, blocking my view.I wanted to chase, but I heard Xiaoxing's cry by the river, and the sharp mournful cry froze my feet to the ground.I struggled with my cowardice, and stood blankly at the porch. ——Until I recalled the unnatural scene I saw with my own eyes just now.

"Blood……" Why didn't you notice? The amount of blood stained on Xiaoxing's hands. There wasn't that much blood on her mouth, it was impossible to dye her hands red.That was—the blood on her hands was not her own. From nowhere came the sound of a police car.More than one.Two, three, or more. I rushed out of the porch and ran on the road at night.The sky is crumbling as if it is accumulating a snowfall.The cold air filled the lungs, and the rectangular window lights swayed from side to side in the field of vision.In front of Xiaoxing's house, police cars were parked side by side.The red police lights illuminated the surroundings intermittently, as if the area had turned into a tight heart beating nervously.Xiao Xing is there.Stand in front of the door.Her arms were hanging by her side, her back straightened, and she stood facing the uniformed officer.Beside her was a woman lying on the ground crying.It's Xiaoxing's mother.Several police officers rushed into the entrance.A new red light followed.An ambulance passed me and pulled up next to the police car.The ambulance staff said something and entered the entrance.In a brief conversation between them and the officers, I heard the word "chopper."A stretcher was carried out from the house, and a body covered with a sheet was lying on it.

Xiao Xing, who was illuminated by the red light, turned to me.Seeing me, her eyes widened for a moment.But her face was quickly lost among the passing paramedics and police officers.In that last silhouette she no longer looked at me.She was led by a police officer into a police car.The officer spoke briefly to another officer nearby before sliding into the driver's seat.A few seconds later, the police car drove onto the night road.When turning a corner, Xiao Xing's face flashed through the car window.That was the last time I saw her.Her figure disappeared from my field of vision forever.

In my hand is the paper bag Xiaoxing gave me. ——You can put the whole world in it—— I'm just noticing it now. ——If you have difficulties in the future, I will help you—— Those were Xiaoxing's words. ——You can fill in—— She said in a voice that was almost blown away by the wind. --let me help you-- Under the sound of voices and footsteps, and the red light, I stared blankly at the paper bag left by Xiaoxing.The paper bag was turned inside out.Xiao Xing turned the paper bag over, because the inside was filled with her happy memories.No, not the inside, for her, the inside is the world.Everything in reality, including herself, was sealed in a paper bag by her.

In this way, the outside of the closed world is the happy smiling self.Xiao Xing has been on the outside of this merciless world.Standing with mom and dad smiling.That's how she survived.You cannot survive without this. But the bag is broken.I broke it.Reality flowed from the invisible gap, and in order to oppose this extremely cold reality, she held a cold knife. --Goodbye-- Her voice echoed in my ears as I left my house.I saw her the first time she spoke to me by the river.I saw her smiling in the strong wind.Feeling the warmth of being shoulder to shoulder with her.Smell the fragrance of her hair.Xiaoxing tried her best to listen to me about the insects, and watched the red dragonfly with me.I imitated the teacher, and she bent over with a smile.

Sobs came up like fists.I knelt on the ground holding Xiaoxing's paper bag.I do not understand.I don't understand how to do it right.I don't know what to do.Don't understand what I can do.The adults around all cast their eyes on me, then looked away ambiguously, and quietly walked away from me.In the crowd, I couldn't stop crying.