Chapter 14 fourth quarter

Autumn is getting stronger. For the first time that day I did not bring a bug net and plastic bag. "Did you come straight from school?" Seeing me sitting on the embankment with my schoolbag aside, Xiaoxing showed a surprised expression. "Because the bugs are gone." I blurted out the prepared lines, Xiao Xing thought for a while, nodded, and sat side by side with me on the cold grass.There was a faint smile on her profile, which seemed to imply a kind of complicity in mischief.The moment I saw her smile, the shyness hidden in my heart disappeared.I made up my mind not to come with bug nets and plastic bags.

But the next day after school, when I went to the river, I didn't find Xiaoxing.Waited for a while and still didn't show up.I wandered for a while on the gradually dimming embankment, and the color of the sailor suit flashed in the corner of my vision, and then disappeared again.Under the bridge—in the corner of the pier, there seems to be a person hiding.When I got closer, I subconsciously lowered the sound of my footsteps.The one standing on the side of the bridge pier was indeed Xiao Xing.Seeing me appearing suddenly, she swallowed nervously and looked down. "The days are getting shorter."

She didn't look at me. "I can't see my watch." Indeed, if you stand under the bridge, it is easier to see the hands on the dial under the light of street lights.But her words were unacceptable. "Shall we meet here later?" I intentionally put a sting in my voice.There is a cruel emotion in the bottom of my heart to crush the overripe fruit with all my strength. At that time, I couldn't understand Xiaoxing's feelings, and I didn't understand at all.Obviously, Xiao Xing didn't want to meet me.She chose to go under the bridge not far from her usual place.If you don't want to meet me, you don't have to come to the river at all, just stay away from me.By the river in autumn, my mind is full of doubts.

Xiao Xing didn't reply, she just pursed her lips and lowered her head. The November wind blows dirty plastic bags under our feet.The logo of the supermarket is printed on the plastic bag that has been used and thrown away, and it looks very worn out.Xiao Xing bent down and picked it up with his thin hands.I thought she was going to rattle and rattle the dirt-stained plastic bag, but suddenly she looked up and looked directly at me.It was the first time she looked at me like this since we met by the river. "You said you want to catch bugs that no one has seen before?" After the abrupt sentence, she continued to say inexplicable words:

"You can do it if you work hard." Hard work will do.Indeed.There is nothing unusual about the sentence itself.What I find incredible is her expression at that time.Her eyes seemed too strong. "As long as you work hard, you can fill this bag with all the bugs in the world." "In this bag..." Yes, Xiao Xing nodded to me. "Not only bugs, but the whole world can be contained." What the hell is she talking about? "If you have difficulties in the future, I will help you." I totally understood what she said was a cold night more than a month later.But it's too late, it's too late for everything.

"It can really be done." Lowering her head, she held the plastic bag tightly with both hands, and said in a voice that seemed about to disappear in the cold wind: "I will help you." Xiao Xing let go of his hand, and the plastic bag floated up again, once hanging on the leaves of the ghost needle grass and shaking, but was finally blown away and disappeared into the distance. That night, I lay in my room fiddling with bug nets and plastic bags indifferently.Thinking of Xiao Xing's words, he tried to put the globe on the table into a plastic bag.But the globe was still too big for a plastic bag, and the mouth of the bag was torn.I neither laughed nor sighed, just looked at the torn mouth of the bag.

After school the next day, I went under the bridge. Xiao Xing leaned on the pier and greeted me with a smile, as if nothing happened yesterday.I also acted like nothing happened and was with her as usual.As long as I can be with Xiaoxing like before, I will be satisfied. I also noticed that in the classroom during the day, she looked very tired that day.That face can be seen from a distance that it is not well rested.Standing together by the bridge pier, I asked her the reason, and she said that I was overwhelmed, and then changed the subject.Looking back now, she must have been thinking about it all night.After much deliberation, I finally decided to meet with me.

We spent almost every day after school under the bridge after school.As always, she kept taking out the watch from her pocket to check the time.Every day before six o'clock, she will go home along the slope. As the miscanthus on the embankment withered, the breath of the two of them began to turn white, and the distance between us standing on the bridge pier gradually shortened.When winter really came and the river was cold, we were already side by side.But I was still very embarrassed when my eyes met, and I fell into a predicament that when I looked at Xiaoxing, she turned her face away, and when she looked at me, I looked straight ahead.However, her body temperature transmitted through the fabric of the school uniform made me feel like I was touching naked, and bursts of green heat surged up in my lower abdomen.The face of Xiaoxing standing beside me will look more fair and beautiful every time the sun goes down.Although I have never been to the Northeast, in my imagination, it must be very suitable for Xiaoxing when it snows in a cold town.

Speaking of the fact that I knew the murderer of the poisonous dim sum incident that happened the year before last, Xiao Xing actually believed it.When she realized I was joking, she acted like she was going to hit me, and that was the first time we saw each other up close.As if attracted, I moved my face closer, and lightly touched my lips to the lips of Xiao Xing who still had a smile on his face and showed his teeth slightly. Since that day, we have kissed each other lightly every time we parted. I don't think Xiaoxing doesn't like that.So every time my lips parted, I was puzzled by the sad expression she must show.Every day there is a cold uneasiness in my heart.And in order to dispel this uneasiness, they had to touch their lips again the next day.

Only once, I slipped my tongue into Xiaoxing's mouth tremblingly.The moment the tip of my tongue touched, I was pushed away hard.At that time, her expression was also very sad.Arguably the saddest so far.I couldn't ask her how she felt, and I couldn't ignore the awakened desire in my body, so I could only leave the river with a pale and damp feeling. From that day on, the distance between us standing on the bridge pier began to widen.When parting, they no longer kiss each other lightly. One day at sunset and dusk, I hid a small, thin box in my schoolbag and went to the river.Inside the box was a new watch bought at the mall in front of the station on Sunday.The box was wrapped in Christmas wrapping paper and tied with a green ribbon.The night before, I thought countless times of Xiaoxing's face when I accepted the box.In my imagination, she must have a bright face, or looked at me in surprise, and then she spoke soft words to me with tears in her eyes, and moved her face closer.I want to shorten the distance with her with this gift.I believe it can be done.No matter what mood she is in, this watch will erase that haze.I think so subjectively.

The little prank that came to my mind was when I was climbing up the embankment and I was about to see the bridge. If I didn't appear in the same place, how would Xiao Xing feel? I suddenly thought so. It will be incredible at first.Then there is bound to be worry.Probably worried that I might never see her again.Then, if Xiao Xing's uneasiness will turn into happiness several times after I hand her the watch—this is my naive and stupid strategy.But the shame of sticking my tongue in her mouth and being pushed away still lingers in my chest.Perhaps I wanted to exact a small but cruel revenge on her. I decided to give it a try.As soon as I had made up my mind, I left the embankment, and whiled away the time by wandering about in the lanes, quite unaware of the irreparable state of affairs that would be brought about.I occasionally check the clock at the hardware store to check the time.It was half past four, and it was nearly five o'clock.It was almost time, and I walked towards the embankment again.At this time, at the end of the scenery that was lit up crimson by the setting sun, a vermilion point flew over. I thought I was wrong, but no. "Yellow Hook Nymph..." Most butterflies survive the winter as hard pupae, but some nymphs survive the winter as adults.They usually close their wings in places where they can shelter from wind and rain, and some of them fly in the air very rarely.As knowledge, these all exist in my head, but this is the first time I have seen it with my own eyes.His chest throbbed non-stop.A near-forgotten interest in insects has revived. Before I knew it, I had started chasing the yellow hook butterfly.It flew low in the gloom, as if luring me, and it flew back and forth, leading me deep into the path.Finally it stopped on an automatic tobacco vending machine set up by the wall of a small factory, closed its wings on one of the two side-by-side buttons, and remained motionless.Emerge as if frozen in the light illuminating the tobacco pack.I reached out to its dead leaf-like wings and caught it before my eyes.The yellow hook butterfly didn't make any resistance, and was caught obediently.Small round eyes like pinpoints looked at me weakly.I suddenly felt a little embarrassed, and immediately put it back in place.It just stopped there without moving. Suddenly looking around, I noticed that I had no impression of the surrounding scenery at all.Xiao Xing's face immediately came to mind.I looked back down the dark path and tried to retrace my steps, but had no memory of where to turn.I speeded up my pace by the faint street lights, exhaled a white breath, and randomly chose the direction, but the scenery that I had never seen before appeared in front of me. It was a long time before I finally saw the embankment at the far end of my line of sight.I hurried to the bridge.But it was already late when they arrived, and Xiao Xing's figure had disappeared.The street lights on the bridge shone on the white river.Furious at my stupidity, I suddenly remembered the box in my schoolbag.The watch that was supposed to be given to Xiaoxing today.Since last night, I have imagined the expression of Xiaoxing who accepted the box several times. Standing by the bridge, I was lost.Xiao Xing may have just left, or he may still be nearby. Chase—I left the pier after deciding.I know where Xiaoxing's home is.I paid attention to the school's registration address and map a long time ago. I quicken my pace on the deserted path.Finally, a row of shabby low-rent houses lined up coldly appeared in front of them.Xiaoxing's tall and straight figure entered one of them as if being sucked in.Just a little short.Annoyed that I didn't get a word, I slowed down. As I walked slowly towards Xiaoxing's house, I became confused again.Wanna ring the doorbell?Who will come out and open the door?Will it be Xiaoxing?Or could it be her mother?What would I say if it was her mother?Will I cause Xiaoxing trouble if I come here uninvited?After thinking about it, I became discouraged.It would be better to give her the watch tomorrow.Little by little my resolve was disappearing. I leaned against the nearby wall and looked at the entrance of Xiaoxing's house for a long time.A dog barked in the distance.It was dark all around, only the yellow light came from the window of Xiaoxing's house.A stooped old woman came out of the entrance next door, glanced at the mailbox with sleepy eyes, and went back into the room muttering something.There was a faint coughing sound from someone's window. I took the watch out of my bag.He took a deep breath and cheered himself up.It's okay, it must be Xiaoxing who opened the door.She will be very happy.She must be happy because I sent her home specially.Even if her mother came out, I didn't intend to do anything bad, I just asked her to call Xiaoxing to the entrance.That's all. Holding the gorgeous wrapping paper in one hand, I approached Xiaoxing's house.There is a simple doorbell next to the wooden curled entry door.There was a faint sound when I reached out to touch it tremblingly. It seemed to be the squeak of a letter box hinge that had been used for many years, and it was like the painful groan of a thin puppy.No, not sounds, but animal sounds.It was the sound of animals coming from behind the thin door panel. Does Xiaoxing's family have any pets?I rang the doorbell in surprise.The sound stopped abruptly.I pricked up my ears and couldn't hear anything.He rang the doorbell again, but there was still no sound behind the door. My heart is full of puzzlement.But behind the incomprehension, there is an ambiguous understanding that is gradually approaching like a rising water level.I reached out to the doorbell again, but changed my mind and left the hallway.There was a gap between the brick wall and the exterior of her home.I got in.The windows that leaked light were framed with frosted glass, so it was impossible to see inside.Moving on, there is another window.I was peeping in from that window when I heard the voice just now. Can see the back of a fat man.Opposite the man is Xiaoxing.The voice came from her who was lying on the bed and turned her face away from the man's face.The bodies of the two people who were swaying separately at the beginning gradually moved in unison before my eyes.Even the less sensible of me could tell it wasn't their first time.Xiao Xing's distorted face.Opposite her head, the broken paper sliding door opened a gap.A woman's back can be seen through the gap.The woman sat sideways on the tatami, her upper body twisted as if crawling on the low table, and a hand like a dead branch rested on the Japanese sake bottle on the table. How to talk to Xiaoxing. From the next day, Xiaoxing and I met by the river.But he couldn't speak.All the words that came up to him vanished before they could be uttered, leaving a stabbing pain in his chest instead.Two days passed, three days passed, and a week passed.Every day is like struggling to move through stagnant water full of foul smell.Xiao Xing still met me as always, occasionally checked the watch in his pocket, and left the river before six o'clock.To go back to that home.In order to let that fair body be crushed under him. Is that what Xiaoxing himself expected?Whose squirming back is that?The woman behind the sliding paper door—is that Xiaoxing's mother?Xiao Xing was about to leave when it was almost six o'clock.To twist his face and make that sound, he went back.I was left alone with my anxious heart in my arms. "Show me your father's watch." I said this one evening, by the bridge.The sky is rainy and the clouds are low.The street light above her head shone on her fair face, Xiao Xing pursed her lips a little puzzled, but immediately took out the watch from her pocket and handed it to me.The pointer points to five twenty-one.I have never forgotten that moment. "This watch is quite old." "My dad used it when I was little." Xiaoxing seems to be very concerned about why I suddenly became interested in watches.I fiddled with it for a while, then returned the watch to her without saying anything. And so it went for a while.I've been talking more than usual during this time.Because I'm afraid of interruption.Xiaoxing listened to me with puzzled eyes, and took out the watch twice to check the dial.She didn't notice.That's it.Xiaoxing's face changed when she took out her watch for the third time to check.The hands of the watch on the palm of her hand indicated twenty-one past five. Xiao Xing turned around and looked at me, her face changed drastically, her eyes widened like glass balls. "I stopped it." I said it in a voice I couldn't hear myself. I don't want her to go back.No way.Since you can't ask for details, at least you have to use your own power to keep Xiaoxing here.Let the world stop, even if for a short time, and seal us together.It must have been past six by now.I broke her rules.But what kind of rule is that?Why do you have to rush home for something like that?Xiao Xing didn't say anything, just looked at me piercingly, then turned and left.I couldn't breathe until her figure disappeared on the river bank.Regret, remorse -- no, not that emotion -- bound my legs to the ground, gripping my chest and taking my breath away was endless sorrow.