When I was looking at the order leaflet in front of the work machine, the electric bell in the store rang. "I'll go." I stood up and greeted my mother.The mother was sitting on the cushion, blankly cutting something with scissors at the table.Behind the curled up body, there are scattered colored papers full of cuts. no respond. I stood up, closed the paper sliding door behind me, and walked through the corridor that was as hot as a steamer.On the opposite side of the counter stood a regular customer, Mr. Yoshioka, whose hair was already half white, who ran a sheet metal factory nearby.Mr. Yoshioka has been taking care of our shop since his father's generation.

"I would like to ask you to engrave a name badge again, and a new clerk has come." "I have always been taken care of." I took the rubber-stamped order form from the drawer of the cabinet and handed it to him. "The previous company seal is not good yet?" "Well, I'm sorry. I will prepare it and send it to you today." "Ah, it's okay, I'm not too worried." Mr. Yoshioka, who was writing the order form on the display stand and counter with a ballpoint pen, suddenly stopped the pen in his hand and looked behind me. "How is Ms. Tazi?"

"Fortunately, nothing has changed." Mr. Yoshioka didn't seem to take my words as good news, he frowned and lowered his voice. "You're welcome to tell me anything, and you can make up your mind at any time." After filling out the order form, Mr. Yoshioka raised his hand and said "That's it", and then walked out of the store with the sound of the hem of the work clothes rubbing against each other.During the seconds when the door at the entrance is opened and closed, the cicadas can be heard.Opposite the glass that says "Enzawa Seal Shop", the asphalt pavement reflects the dazzling sunshine of July.

I went back to my room with the order form. In the past, the operating machine was placed next to the counter, and I would greet customers while carving seals all day long.But since last summer, because my mother would look around the house anxiously as long as I couldn't see me, I had no choice but to move the operating machine to the room.Accordingly, I set up an electric bell at the counter, with a note saying "Ring the bell if you need anything." "--mom?" The paper sliding door that should have been closed was open, and there was no mother in the room.There was a sound from the right-hand side of the corridor.

"What are u doing?" Mother at the kitchen sink. "Make tea. I made you a cup too." There were two cups on the disc, and my mother walked past me.I looked around the pool and went back to my room after confirming that there was nothing wrong. "I still want to make a cup for your father, but that person is not here, has he gone out..." "I don't know, let's go to the toilet." My father committed suicide thirty years ago. For this reason, the police came to question me several times, but my mother must have forgotten about it. ——Can you provide us with the clothes your husband wore that day? ——

From time to time, my mother would suddenly do some "normal" actions like making tea, but she couldn't always do it well. The cup contained only plain boiled water. I took a sip of the boiling water in the glass. It all started five years ago.At dinner one day, my mother nonchalantly put the plastic straw decorations in the sushi box into her mouth.I thought she was making a rare joke, so I could only sit opposite and smile wryly, but she just chewed indifferently, and suddenly vomited when she was about to swallow.I stood up hastily and stuck my fingers into my mother's mouth, taking the saliva-stained ornament out of her throat.Facing my questioning, my mother just looked back blankly.At that time, I didn't have any psychological preparation, and I didn't have any knowledge in this area. I just thought "ah, it's started".

Mother's intellect begins to melt like sugar in the sun.I can't tell the difference between what I can eat and what I can't eat, and every bite of steamed bun will be accompanied by a bite of rubber.She even forgot how to go to the bathroom, and began to have difficulty undressing.As soon as I was in a hurry to urge her, she cried like a sad child.After that, he was completely unable to put on and take off his clothes by himself, and seemed to have no idea how to put his arms into the sleeves. I make various efforts every day while referring to the doctor's advice and the primer borrowed from the library.It was not easy to master the tricks and rhythm of nursing, and to be able to take care of my mother while coping with daily life-this was only done in one year.After my side was able to deal with it more freely, my mother's condition seemed to be much more stable, and the number of times of confusion gradually decreased. Now she is much more stable, and she has learned to put on and take off her clothes again.But even so, the condition of Alzheimer's disease has not disappeared, and I still can't relax my vigilance on my mother for a moment every day.

"Mr. Yoshioka asked me to say hello to Mrs. Toko." "Tazi?" "Let me bring you Holly." Mother nodded a few times as if she understood, then just lowered her head and pouted her mouth to drink boiled water. It is said that women are far more likely than men to forget their own names due to Alzheimer's disease.Because women’s ego has been suppressed in life and cannot be stretched, they are called “Hey” and “You” by their husbands, and they are called “Madam” by their neighbors, so when the brain is extremely tired, they will not be able to remember what their own name is.I was no longer impatient in the process of nursing my mother, just read the explanation of the above things in the book borrowed from the library.

"What do you want for dinner?" The wall clock indicated that it was three o'clock in the afternoon, so I asked as usual.I thought my mother must have just blinked her eyes, but unexpectedly she said in a rare way: "Plain noodles." I was taken aback because lately she often doesn't even understand what I'm asking. "Vegetarian noodles? Good. Let's eat vegetarian noodles and vegetables." I look at the calendar on the wall.Each of the thirty-one grids is divided into three lines, covered with my handwriting. "Have breakfast", "Have lunch", "Have dinner" - the middle part of the grid from the first to today is stamped with a red circle.If you don't confirm it in this way, your mother will ask for it repeatedly.

Mother frantically pushed aside things on the table.Colored paper was flying all over the sky, and the scissors fell heavily on the tatami.I picked up the scissors and put them back in the cabinet. My mother reached into the drawer of the table and took out the drawing paper and colored pencils that the doctor persuaded to buy. "Do you want to draw?" no answer. I decided to finish the half-finished work.Facing the machine, I stuff the printing material into the printing bed. The seal characters of "Yoshioka Sheet Metal Factory Seal" are already clearly visible, and the outline is carved a little deeper to complete it.It is a good thing that hand-engraved seals are more expensive than machine engraved by entrusting a factory, but orders have suddenly started to decrease recently—as expected, it is because of the newly established chain seal shops in the station building.

From my mother's desk came the monotonous sound of colored pencils sliding across the drawing paper. Outside the window, a group of children passed lively.It must be elementary school dismissal time.This group of children seemed to have entered the small children's park diagonally opposite. I tried to look at them through the gap in the curtains.In the park, children gathered in a circle and were playing boxing games.Not long after, there was only one person left, and the other children scattered away with a bang.It looked like they were playing a game of hide-and-seek, which is rare these days.A thin teenager in a yellow T-shirt hid himself behind greenery on one side of the park.With his back completely exposed to me, he seemed to be waiting for the "ghost" in the center of the park to finish counting. Looking at the teenagers scattered in the park, I thought, one day my mother will pass away, and I will pass away too. What will happen to the store left by my father at that time?I am about to be forty-five years old and have no wife or children. Who among my relatives will take over the management of this store? Looking back at mother.She is facing the drawing paper.The light green pencil clicked and clicked regularly.On the lower half of the drawing paper were drawn many green leaves with sharp knife-like points, and on these green leaves, Mother was dotting small light green dots. "That is……" I felt a chill rushing from my stomach like swallowing an ice cube. Small light green flowers. Bamboo flower——

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