Chapter 2 second quarter

Me, Kyoko and S are friends from college days. From the first time I saw Kyoko, I fell in love with her.Every meeting, every conversation, made this feeling stronger.Whenever I look at her, apart from the heart-wrenching pain that crushes my chest, everything else ceases to exist.After class, I just nestled in the dilapidated apartment I rented with the living expenses supported by my parents, thinking about her all the time.Thinking of her hearty smile with small canine teeth, thinking of the light and long chestnut hair beside her face.Thinking of her squinting expression when she spoke to me while blocking the sun with one hand.Thinking of her paper-like snow-white neck when she bowed her head to write notes in class.The wind blowing across the campus messed up her hair, thinking that she would frown, but at first glance, she was laughing heartily.

However, I dare not confess.Because in terms of appearance and connotation, I have no confidence.Because I'm afraid I can't even be friends with her.Because I don't want her to think that every word and every action of mine has other meanings, and alienate me and be wary of me. During my sophomore year, on a day when it snowed so rarely in less than January, I listened to S's report in the coffee shop of the station building. S stared at me with flat, dull eyes that looked like dry lemons, and said right away: "I decided to date Kyoko." He only moved his lips, no extra facial expressions.

Kyoko confessed to him a week ago. My hand holding the coffee cup was hanging in the air, and the feelings like ice water fell slowly on my heart.I resisted the feeling that my heart was getting soaked and nodded. "That's it." Then I smiled wryly. "However, it's really surprising that there was no such sign before." Back at the apartment, I looked up at the ceiling, still thinking about Kyoko. S lives next door, and we, who are from different departments, got to know each other by this chance.Kyoko and I are from the Faculty of Science and Technology, and S is from the Department of Philosophy of the Faculty of Arts.

Since the two of them started dating, I have developed the habit of listening to Kyoko's voice through the thin wall.Whether it's voices, or other sounds.The so-called other sounds are sometimes different from usual, and occasionally there will be a rattling sound like something shaking on the floor, mixed in with the voice.In that situation, I always lie on all fours and stare at the wall like holding a pale bomb.Then, the tip of his nose was only a few centimeters away from the somewhat dirty wallpaper, he held his breath, and stared at the other end of the wall with eyes that were too close to focus.As a result, the love affair was torn apart, and I learned what pain and pleasure are from calling the bed.

Kyoko knew that the walls of the apartment were very thin, but she had a reason for not trying to suppress the sound.Because I lied.After the two dated, S and Kyoko thought that I was working part-time almost every day after school.I told them so.But in fact, after class, I immediately left the school building from Kyoko as if fleeing, and went back to the room, trying not to make any noise, waiting for her voice.day after day. One evening, I sat cross-legged in a corner of the room, pricking up my ears as usual to pay attention to the movement next door.Soon, the door lock turned, and a small voice floated in.At that moment, I got up in surprise.

who is it? He heard it, but it was very strange.No way, I thought to myself, bending forward, concentrating my nerves on my ears.A woman's voice, S's voice.Although I couldn't hear the content of the conversation, I quickly understood the situation. S takes other women home. S chatted intermittently with the woman for about thirty minutes and then calmed down.Soon, there was another voice.It was a woman's voice, but it wasn't speaking.At the beginning, the volume was very low, as if I couldn't help it, and gradually, the color of indulgence became stronger and stronger, and finally it seemed to be a boast, and it became a semi-deliberate cry.Something rattled on the floor, and then at a certain moment, the screeching and sounding stopped abruptly.

After about a minute, a woman's murmur and S's low smile came. It was at this time that I first hated S. From then on, the voices of other women often came from next door.It is roughly the frequency of apricot, apricot, woman, apricot, apricot, apricot, woman.And no matter whose voice I heard, the anger towards S in my heart would only increase.However, I couldn't find Theory S directly, otherwise the lie that I worked hard every day would be exposed.And so I pass each damp day with distorted, dark and gloomy thoughts. When the seasons changed and the oil cicadas began to sing, S called me from a corner of the university campus.Among the lively and cheerful students walking towards the gate, only the approaching figure of S appeared dark.Once at my side, S stopped, put his hands in the pockets of his jeans and said:

"You like apricots, don't you?" This is obviously an attack in the form of a question, but it carries the confidence of winning and not being afraid of the opponent's counterattack. S twisted the corner of his mouth maliciously. "Where is it?" After I replied, I couldn't help but lower my head, not daring to look back at S.I knew that S, who was taller than me, was looking down at the thin man in front of me.He let out a grunt, as if exhaling a short breath from the inside of his molars, followed by a raspy laugh like the passing of a file. "So you don't care whose voice it is?"

At first glance, I still don't understand what he means by asking. "You've been eavesdropping because you have a crush on Kyoko, right?" The tone was unabashedly mocking, even deliberately emphatic. I can't breathe out the air I breathe in.In the low view, the asphalt pavement of the campus under the sun reflects a strong white light.Only S's feet are left in front of him, and the surrounding scenery is blurred by sunlight. "You hear other women's voices now and then." S continued above my head: "You probably didn't intend to inform Kyoko, did you?"

The screeching of oil cicadas distorted the scorching air.I nodded speechlessly, so S paused for a while before whispering: "Listen well today, I will make Kyoko make a voice you have never heard before." Like a black whale advancing in the air, S's disgusting voice reached my ears without allowing any sound to obstruct it. "It's a confidential thank you." Then, S walked away from me.The surrounding scenery returned to my field of vision, and I saw S walking towards Kyoko.She stretched out her hands for shade and smiled.She seemed to ask S something, and looked at me with a smile. S went on to say a few more words and shook his head.Soon, the two walked towards the school gate.

That day, S was on the other side of the wall, fulfilling his prophecy.Kyoko uttered an indescribable voice that I heard for the first time, and a clear killing intent rose in my heart. On Sunday of that week, I buried S. Two days later, on Tuesday, Kyoko came to me for a consultation.She couldn't get in touch with S, and called his hometown, but his relatives didn't know anything, so S's mother decided to call the police.I really don't know what to do, Kyoko cried and confided to me.I listened patiently, held her hand, and repeatedly told her "it will be fine, don't worry".Of course, S did not appear in front of her again.I often stay with Kyoko, originally to comfort her and appease her emotions, but gradually, the purpose of meeting became more and more blurred.After that, we still met for no particular reason, and we had an intimate relationship logically. For the first time, I heard the voice behind the wall in my ears.One year after graduating from university, we walked on the red carpet and gave birth to Haruya the following year. "Then, as far as the result is concerned, you have got what you wanted?" I do think so.