Chapter 33 Chapter 32 Mrs. Beldon's Narrative
Hateful, all-conquering greed, you are the eternal enemy of love and fame.
Illegal work never succeeds without the assistance of a woman.
I've known Mary Leavenworth for exactly a year, as of July.At that time, my life was extremely lonely. I liked beautiful things and hated dirty things. I was attracted by romantic and unusual things by nature. However, because my environment was not rich and I was a widow, I was also very lonely. I only sewed and sewed every day. So I I began to think that the unchanging shadow of old age was about to fall on me.One morning, during one of my dullest moments, Mary Leavenworth stepped across my threshold, and a smile completely changed the direction of my life.
It may sound exaggerated to you, because she came to visit me because she heard that I was good at sewing and wanted to come and get my advice.Don't think it's an exaggeration, if you had noticed the way she approached me the day she showed up, you would have forgiven the folly of a romantic old woman who thought this lovely young lady was a godsend.In fact, I was fascinated by her beauty and charm.She came back a few days later, sprawled on a bench at my feet, and said she was tired of the gossip and bustle of the hotel, and it was nice to come and hide here, so she could act like a child.I was convinced at the time that this was the truest happiness in my life.I reciprocated her with warmth, and it didn't take me long to discover that she was interested in my past, almost always asking me to tell her a story.
The next day she came to hear my life story again.The next day, she came again, always with eager anticipation and smiling eyes on her face, and her lovely and restless hands would hold everything tightly until they were about to hold things until they crumble.
On the fourth day, she did not come, nor on the fifth day, nor on the sixth day.I'm starting to feel the shadows of old age coming back to me.One night, just as night was gradually replacing twilight, she crept in through the front door, crept up to me, covered my eyes with her hands, and startled me with a low, melodious laugh.
"You have nothing to do with me!"
She cried out, throwing her cloak aside, revealing her full evening gown.
"I don't have anything to do with myself either. Sounds silly, but I've got to run away for a while and have to talk to someone. I'm telling you, there's a pair of eyes on me, and for the first time in my life, I feel like a woman , feel like a queen." She glanced at me, shyness and pride fighting each other in her eyes.Finally she put on her cloak and said with a smile, "Have you ever met a flying elf? Has the moonlight ever shone briefly into your face with Mary's smile, Mary's white satin and shining diamonds?" Prison? Say it!"
She patted my cheek and smiled so weirdly that even now with all the horrible things that have happened, tears well up in my eyes just thinking about it.
"So your prince has appeared?"
I whispered, meaning the story I told her the last time she came.The girl in the story waits all her life in poverty, hoping that a valiant knight will take her from the hut to the royal courtyard.She once disliked a peasant boy who admired her, but when the peasant boy came to her door with a large amount of wealth saved for her, the girl had passed away.
She blushed when she heard the Prince, and stepped back to the door.
"I don't know, I'm afraid not. I—I haven't thought about it that much. The prince can't get it that easily." She murmured.
"What? You're leaving?" I said. "Alone? Let me go with you."
But she shook her fairy head and said:
"No, no, you will spoil the romance if you follow. I come like an elf, and I will fly away like an elf."
After finishing speaking, she disappeared into the night like a ray of moonlight and drifted towards the street.
When she visited again, I noticed that her demeanor was full of enthusiasm, more obvious than the eagerness and shyness of the previous meeting, which showed that her heart had been moved by her lover.As usual, I always end the story with hot kisses and happy marriages, but she hinted at it with a somber tone before leaving.
"I'll never get married." Then he sighed.
Therefore, I boldly say that it is probably because she has no mother.
"Why? What is it that makes a lady with red lips think she will never marry?"
She gave me a quick look, then looked away.I was worried about offending her, and felt very sorry, but she suddenly said in a steady but low tone: "I said I will never get married because the person who pleases me will never be my husband."
The latent romantic feelings in my nature immediately came alive.
"Why not? What are you talking about? Tell me."
"There's nothing to tell you, and it's not because I'm so weak," she said, not "in love," because she was proud, "to admire someone my uncle would never allow to marry."
She got up to leave, but I held her back.
"Your uncle won't let you marry him?" I repeated. "Why? Because he has no money?"
"No, my uncle loves money, but not to that degree. Besides, Mr. Claflin is not poor. He has a nice house in his own country—"
"His own country?" I interrupted. "Isn't he American?"
"Yes," she said, "he is English."
I couldn't really see why she had such a hard time talking, but I assumed she was tormented by memories, so I kept asking.
"What's the problem? Is he not enough—" I was about to say "devotion", but I held back.
"He's English," she said, emphatically, with earlier bitterness. "It's as simple as that. Uncle will never allow me to marry an Englishman."
I stared blankly at her, never thinking that the reason could be so simple.
"Uncle's obsession with this matter has reached the point of madness," she said again. "It would be easier to ask him to let me drown myself than to ask him to let me marry an Englishman."
A woman with better judgment than me will definitely say: "According to what you say, why don't you just forget him completely? Why dance and chat with him, and let your admiration for him turn into admiration?" However, I All she could think of was a romantic storyline, and she could neither forgive nor share her uncle's prejudices.I said, "It's so domineering! Why does he hate the British so much? Even if he really hates the British, why do you restrain yourself just to conform to his unreasonable ideas?"
"Why? Do you want me to tell, ma'am?" she said, flushing, and looking away.
"Say," I answered, "tell me the whole story."
"Well, since you already know the best of me, it doesn't hurt to let you experience the worst of me. I don't want to upset my uncle because, because...he has been grooming me to be his heir, and I know that if Marry someone he doesn't like, he will definitely change his mind immediately, and won't let me inherit a dime."
"But—" I blurted out, and her words spoiled my romantic feelings a little, "you told me that Mr. Claflin lived well, so he didn't have to inherit any money. And if you really love—"
Her violet eyes twinkled in surprise.
"You don't understand," she said, "Mr. Claflin is not poor, but Uncle is rich. I shall be queen—"
At this point she stopped and fell tremblingly into my arms. "Oh, I know it sounds snobby, but it's all because of the environment I grew up in. My uncle taught me to worship money, and without money, my life would be lost. But—" Her whole face showed another His expression softened, "I can't say 'Go away! My future is worth more than yours' to Henry Claflin! I can't say that, oh, I can't!"
"So you really love him?" I decided to ask to the end.
She stood up excitedly.
"Isn't that proof of love? If you knew me, you'd say yes." Then she turned and stood in front of a portrait that hung on the living room wall.
"Looks like me," she said.
This is one of two photos I have with great quality.
"Yes," I said, "that's why I cherish it."
She didn't seem to hear me, and she was gazing at the beautiful face in front of her with all her heart.
"Her face is lovely," I heard her say, "sweeter than mine. I wonder if she's torn between love and money, too. She won't," she said. Said, the expression on his face became more and more melancholy, more and more sad. "She thinks only of pleasure and happiness, and has no heart like mine. Eleanor will like the girl."
I think she has forgotten my existence, for at the mention of her cousin's name she turns quickly and whispers, with a somewhat suspicious expression: "My dear lady seems frightened. She does not know that her audience is such a very Unromantic poor little girl. She actually told the little poor girl the story of Venus slaying the poisonous dragon, living in a cave, trampling spring grass like stepping forward with a fiery plowshare."
"No." I said.Because I couldn't restrain my pity for her, I hugged her into my arms, "It doesn't matter if I am really scared, I will still tell you a love story, and I will also tell you how love makes the mechanized world sweet and happy story."
"Really? So, you don't think I'm annoying?"
what can i sayI think she's the most pleasing girl in the world, and I tell her so frankly.She immediately returned to her cheerful and lively nature.I didn't think then—and I don't think now—that she cared much for my well-intentioned opinions, but her nature wanted to be admired, and she was unconsciously nourished by others' admiration, like flowers in the sun. The same as the next bloom.
"Will you still let me come here to act like a baby? If I still don't learn well, and have always been like this, won't you still drive me away?"
"I will never drive you away."
"Even if I did something terrible? Even if I eloped with the person I love in the middle of the night, and my uncle found out afterwards that the person he favored abandoned him, you wouldn't drive me away?"
The words were casual and not necessarily serious, as she continued without even waiting for an answer.Yet the seeds of this conversation were planted deep in both of us.In the next few days, I have been thinking about how to proceed successfully if I have to plan an elopement.You can perhaps imagine my excitement when Hannah came to my door one evening with a letter from a young lady.Poor Hannah, who was then Miss Mary Leavenworth's maid, lies dead under my roof.
From this short letter it can be seen that she is engaged.Mary didn't come the next day, she didn't come the next day, and she was nowhere to be seen on the third day.I received no further word, except that Mr. Leavenworth had returned from his journey to the hotel.After two long days, she finally visited at dusk.I hadn't seen her for a week, yet her demeanor and expression had changed dramatically as if a year had passed.I can hardly welcome her warmly, because she is so different from before.
"You're disappointed, aren't you?" she looked at me and said, "You want to hear confessions, whispers, and all kinds of sweet secrets, and instead you see a cold, disaffected woman, holding her own for the first time in front of you." Don't want to talk."
"That's because you're stuck with love," I responded.
My attitude was somewhat reserved, not necessarily because of her words, but mainly because of her manner of speaking.
She didn't answer, but got up and paced. She was cold at first, and then she showed a little excitement.I was right about the change in her attitude.She stopped suddenly, turned to me, and said, "Mr. Claflin has left R., Mrs. Belden."
"left?"
"My uncle ordered me to leave him, and I obeyed his orders."
My needle and thread fell from my hands because I was genuinely disappointed.
"Ah! So he knows about your engagement to Mr. Claflin?"
"Yes, Eleanor told him within five minutes of his return."
"So, she also knows?"
"That's right," she sighed, "and she can't help it. I'm too stupid to let her see the joy and weakness of engagement. I didn't think of the consequences. But I should have known that Eleanor was a man of all things." Conscience comes first."
"I don't think people who tell other people's secrets have a conscience." I said.
"That's because you're not Eleanor."
I didn't know how to respond, so I said, "Did your uncle approve of your engagement?"
"Yes? Didn't I tell you he would never allow me to marry an Englishman? He said he'd rather see me buried than marry an Englishman."
"And you are obedient and obedient, don't you resist at all? You let that hard-hearted person decide life-long affairs for you?"
She walked up to the portrait and looked again at the painting that had caught her attention earlier.Then she said something and gave me a meaningful sideways glance.
"I obey when he orders, if that's what you mean."
"Break the engagement with Mr. Claflin? You have pledged your personality to be his wife."
"What's wrong? Anyway, I later learned that I couldn't keep my promises."
"So you've decided not to marry him?"
She didn't answer immediately, but looked up at the portrait mechanically.
"My uncle will tell you that I've decided to do exactly what he wants," she finally answered, sounding self-deprecating.
I was so disappointed that I burst into tears.
"Oh, Mary!" I cried, "Oh, Mary!"
Immediately afterwards I blushed, surprised at calling myself by my first name.Yet she didn't seem to notice.
"Don't you blame me?" she asked, "Isn't it my responsibility to obey my uncle's wishes? Didn't he bring me up alone? Without him, how could I enjoy the glory and wealth? How could I Today? How can I like money? Since I understand the meaning of money, he has been instilling in me the concept of the importance of money with gifts, constantly brainwashing me. Now how can I abandon his upbringing of me just because of one person For a man I've only known for two weeks, who is offering what he considers to be love my whole life?"
"But," I said weakly, probably under the influence of sarcasm, but I'm sure she wasn't far off my mind, "if you spend only two weeks adoring this person like nothing else, even you All the graces that come from my uncle's money—"
"So what?" she said.
"I mean, if you have to marry him secretly, if you believe that you can slowly influence your uncle and gradually let him accept your marriage, it is better to keep your happiness with the person you like first."
If only you could see her face.As soon as she finished listening to me, a naughty look secretly appeared on her face.She threw herself into my arms, leaning her head on my shoulder, and asked.
"Isn't it better for me to confirm what my uncle means first, and then run away with my beloved?"
Shocked by her attitude, I cupped her face to see a pleasant smile on it.
"Oh, my dear," said I, "you have not broken off your engagement to Mr. Claflin, so you say?"
"I just let him go first," she whispered gravely.
"But you haven't given up yet?"
She burst into a string of sweet laughter.
"Oh, my dear lady, you are a great matchmaker! You are as interested in our marriage as if you were in love."
"Tell me quickly." I urged her.
For a moment she returned to her serious expression.
"He'll be waiting for me," she said.
The next day I presented my plans for her secret relationship with Mr. Claflin.My plan was to have them use a pseudonym and have her use my name, since a stranger's name might raise suspicions, and his pseudonym was Lee Roy Robbins.She was very pleased with my plan, and immediately agreed to use a code on the envelope to distinguish between my correspondence and hers.
I took the first wrong step and have been in trouble ever since.She gets permission to use my name, and I seem to be forced to separate my judgment and freedom of action.Since then, I have been only her loyal servant for plotting, copying for her the letters she brought, signing under the pseudonym we agreed, busy trying to find a way to forward the letters from him to her, so as not to be discovered. .Hannah is our go-between, because Mary doesn't think it's wise to come here every day.I had no choice but to let Hannah forward the letter for me.Hannah was by nature taciturn and illiterate, and these letters, addressed to Mrs. Amy Belden, were sure to arrive at their destination safe and sound.I also believe that these letters did reach Mary safely.Never had any trouble using Hannah as an errand.
However, things suddenly changed.Mr. Claflin's mother, who was handicapped in England, suddenly wanted him to return home as soon as possible.He was about to go home, but he was dazzled by love again, and he was at a loss in his heart, worried that once he left this beauty that everyone was eagerly pursuing, it might not be so easy to regain his heart in the future.He wrote to her expressing his doubts and asking her to marry him before leaving.
"Just make me your husband and I'll do what you say," he wrote, "and I won't leave until I'm sure you're mine, or I won't. Unless a mother wants to see her only son one last time before she dies , or I won't leave."
She happened to be at my house when I picked up the letter from the post office, and I will never forget her surprise when she read it.She seemed insulted at first, but soon calmed down, and after considering the situation she began to write the letter, and then asked me to copy it.She decided to agree to his request, but on the condition that she would announce the marriage to the public, and that she would agree to say goodbye to her as soon as the ceremony was over, at the door of the church where the wedding took place, or wherever the wedding took place.Unless she announces their marriage to the outside world, they must not appear in front of her.A few days later, she received a clear answer: "Any conditions are fine, as long as you marry me."
Amy Belden's planning ability came in handy again. This time, she had to plan and arrange the entire wedding, and the possibility of being discovered by outsiders had to be prevented.I find the whole thing difficult.The first was that the wedding was to take place in a few short days, as Mr. Claflin, after receiving her letter, had already booked his boat for the steam cruise home next Saturday.The next thing is that he and Miss Leavenworth are both too eye-catching in appearance. It is impossible to get married here secretly without causing gossip. It will take too long.Miss Leavenworth had been away from the hotel for so long that she might arouse Eleanor's suspicions.She thought it best not to arouse Eleanor's suspicions.Her uncle—I forgot to mention—was not here at the time, having left shortly after Mr. Claflin's nominal break-off.Judging by these circumstances, F is the only location I can think of because of the ideal distance and traffic.Although F was not a big station along the railway line, the local pastor kept a low profile and lived less than fifty yards from the train station. What if they could meet at the pastor's house?After I asked them, I felt that the feasibility was very high. For this romantic scene, I was full of energy and continued to plan other details.
Next I'm going to tell you about the flaws in the whole plan.I am referring to Eleanor's awareness of the correspondence between Mary and Mr. Claflin.It happened like this.Hannah enjoyed my company because she came to see me so often, and sat here for a while one evening.Yet she had only been in ten minutes before someone knocked on the front door.I went to open the door and saw Mary standing in front of me.I recognized her by the long cloak she wore.I thought she had a letter to send to Mr. Claflin, so I took her by the arm, drew her into the hall, and said to her: "Have you brought it? I must send it this evening, or he will receive it." It's too late."
I stopped for a while, and I grabbed my arm, and the panting man turned to face me, only then did I realize that there was a stranger in front of me.
"You are mistaken," she cried. "I am Eleanor Leavenworth, and I have come to see my maid, Hannah. Is she there?"
I could only raise my hand worriedly and point to the girl sitting in the corner of the room in front of her.Miss Leavenworth turned at once and walked over.
"I need you, Hannah," she said.
Eleanor was about to turn around without saying a word, but I grabbed her arm.
"Oh, miss—" I said, but she gave me a look, and I had to let go of her arm.
"I have nothing to say to you!" Her tone was low and scary, "Don't pull me."
After speaking, she glanced to see if Hannah was following, and then left without looking back.
I sat listlessly for an hour after she left, then went to bed, but never closed my eyelids that night.You can imagine my astonishment when, at dawn the next morning, a more beautiful than ever Mary came upstairs to my room.She carried a letter addressed to Mr. Claflin, but her hands trembled.
"Oh!" I was both happy and relieved. "She can forgive me, can't she?"
The joyful look on Mary's face suddenly turned into contemptuous disdain.
"If you mean Eleanor, yes, she's busy now, ma'am. She knows I still love Mr. Claflin, and has written to him. You got me wrong last night. There is no way to continue to keep it secret, so I have to settle for the next best thing and tell her the truth in every detail."
"You didn't tell her about getting married, did you?"
"Of course not. If it is not necessary, I will never waste my words."
"She didn't lose her temper as you imagined, did she?"
"I don't have a tantrum, but she's very angry. But," continued Mary, with self-deprecating contrition, "I don't think she's angry with me from the way Eleanor behaves. She's very sad, Ma'am, I'm so sad."
She laughed out loud, and I don't believe it had anything to do with her cousin's attitude, but with her own relief.She looked at me sideways, as if to say, "Did I fool you, my dear lady?"
She lied to me, and I didn't hide anything.
"Will she tell your uncle?" I gasped.
The innocent expression on Mary's face changed quickly.
"No," she said.
I felt a big stone in my heart fall to the ground.
"Is it still going as planned?"
She reached out and handed out a letter as an answer.
The plan we made together was this: When the appointed time came, Mary told her cousin that she had to go away for a while, because she had promised to visit friends in a neighboring town.Then she will come to me in a carriage arranged beforehand, and I will go with her.Then we went at once to the Vicarage at F, where everything was supposed to be ready.This plan is simple and simple, but one thing is still neglected, that is, Eleanor's deep responsibility for her cousin's love.Needless to say, she was already suspicious.She did not press Mary, however, nor demanded an explanation.Mary and I found it incredible that she knew Mary so well, and I knew Mary so well.But that's how it is.Let me explain.Mary followed the plan every step of the way, and even left a note on Eleanor's dressing table.She came to me, and was about to take off her long cape to show me her dress, when there was an urgent knock at the front door.I quickly put on the cloak for her, and ran out to open the door, thinking that I would be able to send someone away with a few polite words, but I heard someone behind me say, "My God, it's Eleanor!" I looked back and saw Mary was peering out through the shuttered porch.
"What should I do?" I said at a loss.
"What? Open the door and let her in. I'm not afraid of Eleanor."
I opened the door at once, and found Eleanor Leavenworth very pale, but resolute.She comes into the house, into this room, almost where you sit, facing Mary.
"I'm here to ask you," she raised her head with an expression that I couldn't help but admire, it was a mixture of tenderness and firmness—even in that moment of worry, that expression was still admirable, "I I want to ask you, can you allow me to ride with you this morning?"
Mary, who had braced herself for words of accusation or pleading, turned her head to the glass window with indifference.
"I'm sorry," she said, "but the carriage can only carry two people, and I have to refuse your request."
"I'll order a carriage for four."
"It's a pity I don't want you to come with me, Eleanor. We're just going out for a drive and don't want people to disturb you."
"Will you not allow me to accompany you?"
"If you want to take another carriage, I can't stop you."
Eleanor's face became more serious.
"Mary," she said, "we grew up together. I'm your sister, if not your own sister. I can't let you go on an adventure by yourself with only this woman by your side. Or tell me Me, may I walk with you like a sister, or follow you like a guardian of your reputation, despite your reluctance."
"My reputation?"
"You're going to see Mr. Claflin."
"So what?"
"Twenty miles from home!"
"So what?"
"Did you take your reputation into consideration when you did this kind of thing?"
Mary's unattainable lips showed a distinct arc.
"The hands that raised you also raised me," she yelled discontentedly.
"This is not the time for debate," Eleanor retorted.
Mary's face flushed.All the hatred she had repressed was fueled by it.She was angry and threatening, and she looked very much like the goddess Juno.
"Eleanor," she cried, "I'm going to F. to marry Mr. Claflin! Do you want to come or not?"
"want."
Mary's whole attitude changed.She rushed forward, grabbing her cousin's arm and shaking it constantly.
"Why?" she yelled. "What are you going to do?"
"Witness to your wedding, if it was done in good faith. And if anything happens to affect the legality of the marriage, I will save you from disgrace."
Mary let go of her cousin's arm.
"I really don't know you," she said, "I thought you were dismissive of anything you didn't think was right."
"I don't know myself any more than you do. Anyone who knows me will understand that just because I'm so reluctant to be a witness at a wedding doesn't mean I approve of it."
"According to what you say, why do you want to go?"
"Because I value your reputation more than my own conscience. Because I love our mutual benefactor. And I know that he will never forgive me if I watch his sweetheart get married. But even if the marriage is far from his wish, I still want to attend the wedding, at least to make the wedding worthy of respect."
"But, if you serve as a witness, wouldn't you be dragging yourself into a scam? And don't you hate scams the most?"
"Is there anything more hated than this?"
"Mr. Claflin will not come back with me, Eleanor."
"I think so."
"I separated from him immediately after the wedding."
Eleanor looked down.
"He's going back to Europe," she paused, "and I'm going home."
"What are you waiting for at home, Mary?"
Mary's face was flushed, and she slowly turned her head away.
"What other girls would do in this situation is probably what I would do. Wait for the stubborn parents to gradually soften their hearts."
Eleanor sighed, and no one answered for a while.At this moment Eleanor suddenly broke the silence, knelt on the ground, and took her cousin's hand.
"Oh, Mary!" she sobbed.A frantic begging drowned out her unattainable demeanor. "You should think twice! Think about the consequences of hasty marriage. It will be too late in two days. A marriage based on deceit will never bring you happiness. Love will. Your marriage is not built In love. Love is what you think of. You did not break off your engagement to Mr. Claflin, but accepted your fate after marrying him. Only people who are overwhelmed by enthusiasm can be so confused. And you, " She continued, turning to me with a look of bleak anticipation that was moving to watch, "Can't you see that this motherless young woman is doing her own way. She has no regard for moral constraints , into the dark and cunning heresy of your own plot, didn't you warn her, didn't you ask her to be careful? Tell me, you, mother, when she comes to see you after this deception is completed, will you not There must be sadness on your face? At that time, what excuses do you have for the role you play?"
"Probably the same excuse," Mary broke in, cold and tense, "you will use the same excuse to deal with uncle. When he asked you, why did you allow Mary to defy him so much without him present?" When you think about it, you will say that Mary has no other way out, and all the people around her have no choice but to follow her."
The words burst through the white-hot room like a gust of icy air.Eleanor's whole body froze immediately, she took a step back, her face was pale but calm, she turned to her cousin and said, "It seems that you have made up your mind to do this?"
Mary pursed her lips as her answer.
Mr. Raymond, it's not that I'm talking too much, but it's the first time I've been thinking about this for a long time, and it's the first time I feel something wrong, because Mary's pursing her lips has shaken my will.Her movements reveal her inner struggle more than Eleanor's.I was a little frustrated when Mary blocked me when I was about to speak.
"Wait a minute, ma'am, don't say you're afraid, because I don't want to hear it. I've promised to marry Mr. Claflin today, and I'm going to keep my word, even if I don't love him."
Her tone was indifferent.Then, she smiled at me, making me forget everything except that she was about to walk down the aisle.She asked me to tie the veil for her.When I tied the veil on her with trembling hands, she looked directly at Eleanor and said, "Your interest in my fate is better than I expected. You must show concern all the way to F, or give I am at peace for a moment, so that I will not think of the terrible consequences you just said."
"If I go to F with you," Eleanor replied, "I'll just act as a witness and fulfill my duty as a sister."
"Very well," said Mary, dimpled with sudden ecstasy, "I think I'll have to accept that. Ma'am, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but the carriage won't carry three people. If you Obediently wait at home, when I come back tonight, you will be the first to congratulate me." Before I recovered, the two of them had already boarded the carriage parked in front of the door. "Goodbye," said Mary loudly, waving from the backseat, "and wish me the best of luck."
I wanted to say that, but couldn't.
I could only wave my hands in response, and then rushed into the room sobbing.
That day, during the long wait, I felt regret for a while and anxiety for a while. I don't know how to describe this feeling.I sat alone in the lighted room, watching for signs of their return.Mary promised I would come back.As a result, just when I was about to give up, Mary sneaked into the room wrapped in a long cloak, her beautiful face glowing with blush.
She came in, bringing in the passionate dance music that had just been played in the hotel, and it had a weird effect on my imagination.I was not in the least surprised to see her take off her cloak to reveal the bride's white wedding dress, with a crown of snow-white roses on her head.
"Oh, Mary!" I exclaimed, with tears streaming down my face, "you're—"
"Mrs. Henry Claflin, hello. I am the bride, ma'am."
"Bride without a wedding," I murmured, and embraced her passionately.
She wasn't completely unaware of my emotions.She hugged me, shed tears, told her true feelings, sobbed softly, told me how much she loved me, said she was the only one in the world who would do this to me, and came on her wedding night for solace or Accepting the congratulations, I also talked about how much fear I have in my heart after everything is over now, as if saying goodbye to my name is also tantamount to saying goodbye to something of inestimable value.
“你让某人成了最值得骄傲的男人，难道不觉得安慰？”我问。没能让两位恋人感到幸福，我觉得非常失望。
“我也不清楚，”她啜泣着，“他感觉到一辈子被一个女孩子束缚，而这个女孩子为了不失去一大笔未来的财富而命令他离去，他怎么可能就此心满意足？”
“一五一十地告诉我。”我说。
然而她此时没有心情。这一天激动的情绪让她难以承受，脑海里似乎塞进了无数的恐惧。她无精打采地坐在我脚边的板凳上，双手紧握，脸上的光彩使得身上光鲜亮丽的装束产生了奇异的虚幻感。
“我怎么能保住秘密？它每一分每一秒都在我脑海里萦绕，怎么保住秘密！”
“有被人发现的危险吗？”我问，“是不是有人看见，还是有人跟踪？”
“没有，”她喃喃自语，“一切进行顺利，不过——”
“到底是哪里有危险？”
“我说不上来，不过有些事情就像鬼魅一样。这些阴影不会平静下来，只会一直出现，一直说着没有意义的言语，不管我们愿不愿意，它们都会浮现在脑海里。我以前都没有想到会这样。我疯狂，我放浪不羁，随你怎么说吧。从夜幕低垂开始，我就觉得夜色将我压得透不过气来，它扼杀了我心中的生命、青春与爱情。白天时我还能忍受，不过现在——哦，夫人，我做了一件会让我不断恐惧的事情，让自己活在焦虑中，因而摧毁自己的幸福。”
我因为过于惊讶而无法言语。
“这两个小时之间我一直假装很快乐。身穿白色婚纱，头上顶着玫瑰皇冠，我招呼朋友，假装他们是婚礼的宾客，也欺骗自己他们真心地赞美我——对我的婚礼有太多赞美的言词，太多的恭贺祝福。不过现在也没有用了。埃莉诺早知道会没有用的。她已经回到自己房间祈祷去了，而我又来到了这里，也可能是最后一次来到这里，哭倒在别人的脚边，喊着'求上帝怜悯我'！”
我无法抑制情绪，看着她。
“哦，玛莉，我做了这么多，难道只让你难过？”
She didn't answer.玫瑰皇冠从头上掉落，她忙着捡起来。
“要是他没有教我爱财如命就好了！”她终于开口，“如果我从小能像埃莉诺，将我们周遭豪华的事物视为身外之物，为了爱情、为了职责，可以抛开一切！要是面子、赞美和高雅的事物对我不那么重要，那该有多好！要是爱情、友谊、和乐的家庭气氛对我更重要，那该有多好！我身上绑了一千个对奢华事物的期盼，要是能全部放下，那该有多好。埃莉诺办得到。她虽然高傲、美丽，但当她个性中敏感的部分受到无礼的侵犯时，她会变得高高在上。我从小就知道她喜欢到一个低矮的阁楼里去，那里既冷又臭、光线又不充足，她一坐就是一个小时。在阁楼上她会将肮脏的小孩抱在膝盖上，亲手喂食脾气暴躁到没人愿意碰的老女人。哦，哦！她们会谈到悔不当初以及变心的故事！要是有人或某件事能够改变我的心就好了！不过看来是没有希望了！我不指望可以改头换面了，我永远只是个自私自利、任性骄纵、爱财如命的女孩。”
她激动的心情并非稍纵即逝。同一天晚上她发现一件事，让她担忧的事转变为恐惧。其实只不过是埃莉诺过去两星期以来一直在写日记。
“哦，”她隔天又向我哭诉，“我每次进入她房间都能看见那本日记，我的安全有什么保障？尽管我已尽我所能向她表示，那本日记代表她背叛我对她的信任，但她还是不答应销毁日记。她说写日记只是为了保护自己，万一伯父指责她背叛了他以及他的幸福，她便能拿出证据。她答应我会好好锁起来，不过锁起来又有什么用处！发生意外的机会有千百种，任何一种意外都足以让伯父看到日记。只要日记存在一刻，我就一刻无法感到安全。”
我竭尽所能地安抚她，告诉她如果埃莉诺没有恶意，根本没有必要担心，然而她还是相当不安。我看到她心神不宁，便建议她要求埃莉诺让我保管日记，直到有一天她觉得有必要动用时再拿出来。玛莉对这个主意很满意。
“哦，太好了，”她大声说，“我也会将它和结婚证书放在一起，一次解决所有心中挂念的东西。”傍晚之前她已经去向埃莉诺提出请求。
这个约定有个条件，就是如果没有双方一致的要求，就不得销毁保管的文件，也不得交出文件。因而她们找来一个小锡盒，将玛莉结婚的所有证据集中起来，包括结婚证书、克拉弗林先生的信件，以及埃莉诺日记当中有关婚礼的几页。然后她们将锡盒交给我，对我耳提面命。我随后将锡盒放在楼上的一个衣柜里，直到昨晚才去动它。
这时候贝尔登夫人停了一下，脸色痛苦地涨红，并抬起眼睛看着我，表情里夹杂了焦虑与恳求，看起来很不协调。
“我不知道你要说什么，”她开口，“不过，我由于心里非常担忧，所以昨晚不顾你的建议，将锡盒从衣柜里拿了出来，带着盒子离开家，现在——”
“盒子在我手里。”我静静地完成她未说完的句子。
她的表情极为讶异，我想我从来没看过她那么吃惊的模样，连我宣布汉娜死亡的消息时都不见得有那么讶异。
“不可能！”她惊呼，“我昨晚把锡盒留在老农舍里，结果起火烧成废墟了。我只不过想暂时藏起来，匆忙之间没有想到更好的藏匿地点，因为有人在里面上吊自杀过，据说有鬼魂出没，没有人敢靠近农舍一步。我……我……盒子不可能在你手里！”她激动地说，“除非——”
“除非我在农舍烧毁之前就找到了锡盒，将盒子带出来。”我暗示。
她的脸涨得比刚才更红。
“难道我被你跟踪了？”
“没错！”我说。然后我感到自己的脸也红了起来，急忙继续说道：“你和我彼此都在扮演着奇怪的角色，而且都感到不自在。总有一天时过境迁，我们可以原谅彼此，不过现在先不要想那么多。盒子很安全，你放心，我现在急着继续听完你的故事。”
这句话似乎让她安心不少，过了一分钟后她继续说下去。
这件事情过后，玛莉恢复了正常。后来听说利文沃兹先生已回到旅馆，而他们接着也准备返家，所以我不常见到她，不过我看在眼里的转变足够令我心寒。感到因为玛莉婚姻的证据全都被锁了起来，她一直想要让这件婚事无效。然而我有可能错怪了她。
有关那几个星期的事情几乎告一段落。在玛莉离开的前一天晚上，她登门向我道别，手里拿着一件礼物，价值恕我不能奉告，因为我并没有收下，尽管她用尽聪明的借口连哄带骗，要我收下礼物。但是她那晚说了一件事让我永难忘怀。内容是这样的。我一直告诉她，希望她在两个月之内，能够尽可能请克拉弗林先生过来。如果她决定哪一天要请他过来，希望能够通知我一声。这时候她突然打断我的话：
“伯父只要在世一天，就永远不可能像你所说的那样会心软。如果我以前如此认为，那么我现在就更加坚信不疑。除非他死掉，否则我绝对不可能请克拉弗林先生过来。”随后，她察觉到我对长时间没有见面的她产生的变化感到惊恐，她也有些不好意思，因此低声说：“前景似乎不怎么乐观，可是，如果克拉弗林先生真心爱我，他就不会急着现在见我。”
“但是，”我说，“你的伯父才刚过盛年，身体看起来相当硬朗，如果要等，会等上很多年的，玛莉。”
“我不知道，”她嚅嚅低语，“我不这么认为。伯父的身体没有外表看来那么健康，而且——”
她没有再多说什么，大概是对谈话内容的方向有点害怕。然而她当时有一种表情让我很纳闷，事到如今我怎么想都想不透。那时离现在已经有好几个月了，我并不是说她的表情令我独处时感到恐惧。我仍然沉醉于她的魅力中，心里容不下一丝有害她形象的事。然而秋天的某一天，来了一封克拉弗林先生亲笔写给我的信，从头到尾都在真切地请求我透露这个女人的底细。为何完成了婚礼，还狠心让他空等？而同一天晚上，我的朋友从纽约回来，提到了她在一个聚会场合遇见玛莉·利文沃兹，身旁不乏追求者时，我这才开始明白整件事情确实有蹊跷，所以坐下来写一封信给她。写信的时候看不到她，所以不必面对她恳求的眼神与颤抖的双手。不必被她轻抚的双手左右心意，判断力也不会受到蒙蔽。我用诚实正经的语气告诉她克拉弗林先生的感觉，指出不让克拉弗林履行权利的危险，毕竟克拉弗林爱她至深。她回信的内容却让我大吃一惊。
“我目前不将罗宾斯先生放在我的考量范围内，希望你能和我一样。至于那位绅士本人，我已经告诉过他，方便见他的那一天，我会通知他一声。而那一天还没来临。”
“只是，请不要让他感到气馁，”她在信件最后加注，“到了他获得幸福的时刻，他会心满意足的。”
问题是什么时候？我心里想。啊，如果遥遥无期的话，有可能会坏了大事！然而，我一心一意只想顺从她的意愿，只能坐下来写一封信给克拉弗林先生，将她说的话转述给他，请求他耐心等待，还告诉他如果玛莉本人或她的处境一有变化，我必然会立刻让他知道。将信件寄到伦敦后，我就静候事情的发展。
事情发展的速度并不缓慢。两星期后我听说主持婚礼的斯特宾斯先生突然暴毙，一时之间无法释怀，随后又在一份纽约的报纸上，看到克拉弗林先生名列霍夫曼旅馆来宾的名单，这令我更加难以置信。这可以证明我写给克拉弗林的信并没有发生预期的作用，而玛莉的耐心也快到尽头了。几星期过后我收到一封信，一点儿也不感到惊讶。由于那封信不慎忘记在信封上加注暗号，我便自行打开，从而获知他想方设法想在公众或私人场合接近玛莉，却总是不得其法，同时也毫不掩饰地表现出了对玛莉的不满，认为她有意回避，所以决心不计一切后果也要见到她，即使惹她不高兴也在所不惜。他也决心向她伯父恳求，想借此结束长期以来无所适从的痛苦。“我要你，”他信上写着，“不管你有没有嫁妆，对我而言都没有什么不同。如果你不亲自前来，我就必须效法我祖先英勇的骑士，攻陷你的城堡，以武力将你强夺而出。”
由于我清楚玛莉的为人，几天后她让我抄写以下回信时，我也不算太惊讶：“如果罗宾斯先生希望与艾米·贝尔登过幸福快乐的日子，就请他重新考虑他的决定。如果他一意孤行，不但会破坏对她承诺的幸福，也有可能摧毁两人之间稳固的感情。”
信的最后并没有留下日期，也没有署名，那是一个斗志高昂、充满自制力的人在面临困境时发出的严厉警告。虽然这封信让我更加退缩，但我从一开始就知道，美丽的她写出如此任性的字眼，只不过是她冷酷的决心与深沉的心计开始露出端倪罢了。
至于这封信对他究竟有何影响，对她的命运又有何影响，我只能自行猜测了。我只知道两星期后，利文沃兹先生在房间里惨遭谋杀，而汉娜·切斯特直接从命案现场来到我家门口，乞求我收留她，以避开外人的询问。基于我对玛莉·利文沃兹的疼爱，希望能够助她一臂之力，也只好让汉娜在我家暂避风头。
Notes:
Notes: