Chapter 5 Chapter Four

My boss, despite being fifty-five years old, has always been a nuisance.I couldn't stand him half-ass sitting on my desk, and even the dog gave him a warning in his own baritone voice.But the boss just smiled. "Ms. Haiert, you have been living younger and younger recently. This is really a strange phenomenon!" I'm waiting for some special assignment from him. "When exactly is Mrs. Roemer coming back from the nursing home?" he asked. "The day after tomorrow. I'll take her home at the station; she'll take the dog, too, of course." "I was thinking," said the superior, after a moment's consideration, "that Mrs. Roemer is not going to work at all, but is going to retire. After this major operation, she will definitely get a pension for two years, and then she will not be there anyway." Retirement age. I don't think she will come again. I want to ask if you would like to use this room?"

I was glad to hear him say this, for it was the most comfortable and remote room, where one could be completely at peace, and have a view of the lovely chestnut tree. "Also, you should go on vacation while the sun is still shining," he continued.He means well, but I kind of hate going on vacation right now. After all, the boss is thinking of me. That same night, I got a call - from my ex-boyfriend in Berlin.He spoke with a little embarrassment, and asked me, as he happened to be traveling now, and we hadn't seen each other for almost a quarter of a century, if he could treat me to dinner.I was taken aback.This happened so suddenly, I was already very tired.On the other hand, the desire to see this man won out even though I had long intended to never see him again.Hartmut politely said he was sorry he couldn't come to pick me up, he didn't have a car in West Germany.

An hour later, I was sitting in a fancy hotel in a velvet skirt and a floral shirt when I saw my ex-boyfriend.I hardly recognize him anymore.Although Hartmut hadn't been very handsome before—he had acne—he was tall and thin and had a shapely face.He was still the same height, but given his present stature, you could hardly suspect that he was malnourished.His otherwise shapely face had become fat, flushed and sweaty, and looked uncomfortable.My God, what would happen if I married him!I thought in horror.In fact, I'm really happy that I didn't continue to develop with him, and now I have the chance to fall in love with a man like Witold.

Hartmut was very excited to meet me, after all I was just a mediocre woman when he met me.But how handsome and graceful and young I am now!Before eating, he drank two glasses of wine and sweated even more.I had no choice but to talk to him about my old life, but the version I gave him was beautified by me. When it was his turn to speak, the meal came.While chewing and gorging, he began to tell me that he had a successful career, made a lot of money, bought a villa in Dalay, and opened a law firm with three partners.I asked about his family situation.The two older children have already left the house.His wife gave birth to a third child very late, a disabled child.He looked at me with the kind of expression that he hoped that I would comfort him, and I said it was a pity.Hartmut shook the wine in his glass.In the end he blazed out how unhappy his marriage was: the wife only loved the disabled child, and she loved no one else.She would never leave the child alone, he suffered too much.

While I'd much rather hear about his wife's constant cheating on him, I think that's okay with him saying the above. "Oh, yes, Rosie," he sighed, panting, his face sweating, "I kept thinking of you afterwards. I was bad then, but I got punished for it. Maybe we can be friends again." He revolts me.I want to go home.Hartmut shook my hand firmly. He was drunk.Finally he begged me to spend the night at his hotel. I stood up, broke free from his hand, and said it was time for me to go. Back home I wondered if I had given Witold a similar impression as Hartmut had given me today, because he walked as quickly, as politely, and as coldly as I did today. .

By the way, Hartmut called from his Berlin office the next night and apologized in the old-fashioned fifties gentleman's fashion for being "a bit rude"; "Okay then, see you next time," he said over the microphone.Is there any great difference between the voices of the two men, Hartmut and Witold? In addition, I kept thinking, should I confide my worries to Bid? "You see," I imagined how I would beseech her, "I have never been as passionately in love with anyone as I was with Engelstein. You have everything now: a boyfriend in your youth, a man at the right age." Married, had kids. Now you have an interesting job, a boyfriend, and a big circle of friends. I didn't have any of that, and I still don't. Please leave him to me, Bid I've never asked anything from you, and I've never asked anyone else. It's hard for me to say this: please have mercy on an old girl who is impatient for love!"

Can't this move a stone?Can't even move the sentimental Bid? On the other hand, if she made the same request, I would never give up.So I decided it would be best to keep my mouth shut.In this matter, too, she was no longer my only friend, but an adversary whom I had to overcome.But the desire to talk to her was always strong. Mrs. Roemer is here again, the dog has gone, and I thought foolishly, I can't talk to the dog now, but to myself. One afternoon I went to Bidder's without saying hello.Perhaps it happened to be a mistake on my part that I never had the ability to communicate my wishes and needs to others.In my youth, didn't I tell this already ugly Hartmut that I love him and hope that we have a common future?I committed the future to him and quietly assumed that everything was going to be great for him.Even my relationship with my boss in Berlin, I basically have the same attitude.But now those boring things come to me one after another, and I suffer too much just because of my modesty or my timidity.I now choose and try another way, at least talk to Bid once.

Witold's car was parked in front of her house.Instead of stopping my car at all, I drove home in complete desperation. Should I—as my boss's wife used to do—write an anonymous letter, say to Jurgen: "Bide is cheating on you?" What about Ergen.Besides, Jurgen himself had a wife after all, and he had no right to ask Bid to be faithful to him.So what else can I do to defeat Bid?Which threats does she take seriously?She is not easily intimidated.If she received an anonymous letter, she would definitely go directly to the police station. My helpless rage was rising inexorably.If only I could kill her immediately!Kill it?why not?

From then on, there was only one thought in my mind. Bid, my only friend!I don't want you to be sad, Bid, I don't want you to be miserable.You should die sooner, without any fear or hesitation.I don't want to give you a long speech and then shoot you like in a detective movie.One shot in the head, that's it, immediately lose consciousness, bleed in the head, and die.It's a good thing I didn't throw away the weapon.But of course there are considerations: how, where, when, and I must not be associated with this matter.In this case, the victim was related to me in some way, and the police would definitely come and ask me about the situation.My motive, which is of course fortunate, is beyond anyone's guess.

I'd have to meet Bid somewhere, somewhere where there's no one; no one knows I'm with her, no one sees me.It's not going to be easy; assuming I call her to make an appointment, Bid will, in her usual long-winded fashion, talk to someone from the amateur university, her children, friends, neighbors, or eventually Witold. About my upcoming meeting with her.But my advantage is that she completely trusts me, and I can lure her to a certain place; another advantage for me is that I know her habits very well, know her office hours and even those training sessions. Now she has begun to attend such training classes very diligently.

Maybe this thing may not be done right away, so we have to do it again right away.It is crucial that she has no suspicions. After a few sleepless nights, I suddenly had an idea.Almost every Saturday, Bid went shopping every morning, then went to Halley Baths, where he stayed for an hour.She took me there a time or two too, but I wasn't very interested in how my weekend would end with red eyes and chlorine-smelling skin.Well then, I can go and see, I'll wait for her in Bid's car in the Harley Baths parking lot, and go somewhere with her.But my first effort was in vain. Bid's car wasn't in that lot.I walked around the street and saw Witold's car was still there.There's nothing to sympathize with, I said to myself, she deserves it.Besides, I can also wait, first of all for a good opportunity, and second for Witold's love. The next week, my luck came.At that time, my plan was also mature.I had brought a basket of picnic food with me, and tried to persuade Budd to make a sudden outing. I'm waiting in the car.I could observe the exit from Halley's Baths from a distance.When Bid finally appeared at about eleven o'clock, I jumped out of the car and was in front of her in an instant. "Hello, Rosie!" cried Bidder, with surprise in his eyes, "what the hell are you doing here?" "Hey, I saw your car here and suddenly had an idea!" Bid laid out his swimsuit and towel on the back seat of the car. "Let's hear it," she said cheerfully. "Well, the idea came to me at home. You know, I can't go out at all now without the dog, and I'm sure there's something wrong. What do you think of a little trip: let's go for a drive, Going to a picnic or something, I have everything in the basket here." "Really, Rosie, you've been confusing me a lot lately! I used to be a very impulsive person and you weren't, but I've become less and less flexible as I've gotten older. Well, Get in the car, I have to think a little bit." We sat in her car.Bid looked at his watch. “Let’s go home first,” she suggested. “I need to put my groceries in the freezer first, hang out my bathing suit, and blow dry my hair.” That's exactly what I don't want to do.When we got home, Lacey from her family or someone would come and open the door for us, and half the town would see me in the car with Budd. "Oh, you know," I replied, "it doesn't have to be. I don't have a lot of time either. Your hair dries quickly in the sun, and once your car is parked in the shade, your veggies are dry." It won't go bad in two hours. Do you have anything else to freeze?" Bid shook his head.She hesitated.She looked at her watch again. "Okay, two hours, no more. Vegetables won't go bad anyway, and maybe neither will the goulash. Where's your car?" The car was parked nearby, I said, but we were already in her car, and we could go in her car right away. "Okay, where are we going?" Bid started the car. "Okay, let's go to the forest," I suggested. "The weather is so beautiful, who knows how long it will last. It's late summer, and this fine weather is just what we need." "I know of a pretty place, well, we'll go there," said Bid.Now I'm not going to raise any objections, but if the place is full of tourists, my plans will be ruined again today. Harley Baths is located in the suburban fringe, so we don't have to cross the whole city anymore, which is the time when the shopping traffic is concentrated in the city.This is part of my plan. Although Bid nodded twice to a woman, it seemed that it was just a general understanding.She drove up the mountain road to the parking lot in the forest. "Are your baskets heavy?" she asked. "Even if traffic is banned here, I can go a little further along the lumber lane, so we don't have to carry our baskets for a long time." This is exactly what I want. "Yeah," I admitted, "I've brought an insulated coffee pot and a bottle of champagne (which I bought for Witold), which is a bit of a treat." Bid smiled: "The champagne has been bumped enough on this winding road, and the wine must have been hot; but you are so thoughtful, Rosemary!" The car moved slowly up the hill, and stopped when it turned to a small road. The car was hidden in the grassland in the forest behind the dense pine trees. "Come on!" she yelled. "Twenty minutes have passed. Also, you can guess: I'm hungry and thirsty from swimming. To be honest, I didn't eat breakfast today because I wanted to lose weight. But you brought Such a delicious picnic is totally tempting me." Bid pointed to a tall observation tower. "We have to climb up. I just went up with Jurgen not long ago, and I can see the magical scenery of the Rhine." Is this possible?My revolver is in one of my largest handbags, tucked away in a zippered layer.I almost hoped that this would not work out, would be seen by people walking or heard by rangers in jeeps. Looking out from the observation tower, the scenery in front of you is magnificent.In the sky-blue clouds, I saw Mannheim shining in the distance.The southwest direction should be the location of Rattenburg.I looked around to see if there was anyone around here, but I couldn't see anyone.There are two cars parked in the parking lot in the forest. "Get the champagne!" Bidder demanded. On the sunny ground of the observation tower, I spread out a red checked dishcloth. "The Last Supper," I thought. Bid looked at everything curiously. "Roast chicken and baguette, ham and melon, grapes and cheese! Rosie, you are a genius!" Bid expertly opened the slightly warm champagne with bubbles.She finds this fly in the ointment amusing.She drank two glasses of wine at once, then grabbed the melon and chicken legs and ate them.I also pretended to be eating, but the chicken breast was so hard that it was almost stuck in my throat.In fact I must now get out that revolver behind Bid's back and shoot my fun-seeking friend--my only friend--in brutality.I can't do that. "What are you looking at here, Rosie. Come here, have a drink!" Bid said to me, pouring me a glass.Instead of paper cups, I brought glasses and also china plates. Bid began to drink the third cup.She sat on the broad parapet. "Come here, Rosie," she said, "it's such a pain to sit on the ground and never see such a beautiful view. When I sit up here, I want to be a swan, Fly with ease and grace to the flat ground below." Her legs dangled outward. "Come here!" Her broad back was turned towards me, her still-damp hair was golden.The outline of the bra is clearly visible beneath the shrunken T-shirt. "Hi Bid, I'd rather sit, I'm afraid of heights." "Acrophobia - I don't even know what acrophobia is! When I was a kid, there was nothing more exciting for me than swinging, climbing mountains and climbing walls. Look!" Like a child, that's what she used to be, and she reminded me of climbing the city wall, looking at me with a mischievous smile, probably in the same way she used to annoy her mother. I hit her brown thigh with both hands, and with the sound of screams, Bid, with a champagne glass in one hand and a chicken leg in the other, fell to the bottom of the tower. I looked around and found no one, but I heard the sound of a chainsaw not too far from here.A hunting dog seemed to be haunting nearby, but no one responded to the dog, so it must be a wild dog.The freeway in the distance, with very little traffic, could barely see our tower from there, let alone me.I was ready to go down now, my legs were trembling, and I could only go slowly down the narrow stone steps. Bid is really dead, and there is no need for pulse and breathing to conduct research.Staring blankly into the void with open eyes, it looked like her head, spine, and all limbs were broken.I can't watch it anymore, I don't feel well, just like last time at Witold's house, I just have a strong desire to get out of here as soon as possible. But now is not the time to lose your mind.The wine glass was in countless pieces, which I could not pick up, and it would have taken hours.But I have to take the basket with the picnic stuff with me anyway, why did I forget the basket on the tower! It's not easy to climb up again.Also, how am I going to get home now without a car and with all this junk?I hadn't thought about it that seriously before.I emptied the champagne in the bottle, and there wasn't much left.Holding the towel in my left hand, I wiped off all suspicious fingerprints with a dishcloth, and also tore off the labels in the supermarket.At the same time I poured the coffee and the liquid immediately seeped into the wooden floor.I tossed Bidder's kun-bag, which contained his papers, keychain, and wallet, into a corner of the tower.But everything else I have to take with me.I packed the basket, put the cloth on top, and carefully searched for other evidence, but I couldn't find it.In this persistently dry weather, footprints are certainly absent. Time is precious.It's noon, just after twelve, and most travelers are taking a nap, I hope.It's a long walk to my car, or should I just drive Bidder's?If people see this car in the future, they may think of suicide or accident.But if there is no car here, it will be assumed that there is a second person involved anyway. I checked Bid's car, but I didn't find my things there.Fingerprints?Even if there are fingerprints on the car, it is quite normal, after all, I am often with her. I dared not take the wide timber haulage lanes, but walked through thick undergrowth, and at one point completely lost my way.Anyway, going downhill is the right thing to do.True, I concealed myself, as a large tour group from the Odenwald Association passed me shortly afterwards.I lay by myself in the woodland, and saw many people in red stockings and knickerbockers parading past me. Luckily, I had a pretty solid pair of shoes, but I regretted carrying the basket and wanted to just throw it around, but of course I couldn't.How long have we been driving?I don't think the time is particularly long, but I feel that the road is very long on foot.Should be on the road in no time, and what am I looking like now!The hair is full of leaves and spider silk, and the hair is unkempt.I stopped and began to carefully pick up moss, twigs, burdock leaves and needles from my body. Instead of taking the B3 road, I followed the trails that ran parallel to the cornfields and small orchards.I keep running into people who spend their spare time in the orchard, taking advantage of the sunny autumn days picking apples and digging fields.There was a large Turkish family sitting under a walnut tree at a banquet, and they greeted me kindly.What if all these people recognize me?I had no alibi at the time of the crime; but as in countless weekends, even though I was alone in my own home, there was hardly a single witness to prove that I was there.Or is there still something to prove?For example, isn't my car on the street?How much do my neighbors notice that my car is there or not?About two and a half hours later I arrived at Bid's place. I was seen by at least twenty people on the way, but none of them knew me.But if my picture is published, maybe they will still think of me. I finally made it to my car and I got home at 3:30 in the afternoon.It wasn't until I had washed and organized the cup, two plates, and the thermos, put away the basket, stashed the revolver, and wiped out all the leftovers that my mind was at peace.Then I went to wash and dry, and threw the clothes I wore today into the washing machine. To be on the safe side, I also put other clothes in to wash together. After everything is dealt with, I feel a little more relaxed. At nine o'clock in the evening, the phone rang.Exactly what I was hoping for.I deliberately let the phone ring for a while.It's Lacey calling. "Do you know where my mother is?" I said I didn't know, and asked again, what's the matter. "You know, Rosie," Lacey said in her mother's tone, "I have an appointment with Bid. We were going to Richard's in Darmstadt, and then we went to the theater together." Go. But she wasn't there at all, and her car wasn't there. I always thought there was something wrong, because she wrote in the calendar about going to the theater. I sometimes forget that kind of thing, but she was never so careless. Careless." I couldn't comfort Lacey except to tell her that I really don't know and that everything will figure out.On this day, no one called afterward. At night, I was sick.I had a fever, vomiting and diarrhea, and couldn't sleep. I vomited up all the sedative pills I took and the chamomile tea, which is a sweat medicine.I tossed and turned between the bed, the bathroom, and the kitchen, shivering and sweating, knowing that the psychological depression had knocked me down. By Sunday, my health was no better.I was trying to convince myself that I had the right to pursue happiness and love, so I had to.But I think this theory is problematic.Bide!I mourn Bid, I weep, I am troubled for my only friend, I saw her hurled to death in the stony woodland.I did something that I can never take back.With Schilko Engelstein my conscience was hardly condemned, but with Bid I was almost too shameless. In addition, my heart was terrified.I can't control my emotions at the moment; if anyone comes over and suspects me, my behavior will be exposed in an instant. On Monday morning, I wasn't feeling better either; I called the office and reported that I was sick.Stomach flu, I tell them.My colleagues wish me a speedy recovery, so that I don't have to get up very early to go back to work or something. They know my previous sense of responsibility for work, so they have to remind me like this. Do you want to call Bid's house and ask her about her situation?First of all, this is to show people that I firmly believe that she is at home. Second, I want to know whether people have found her and whether relevant investigations have been started.But I couldn't make a phone call, I couldn't speak, I couldn't cry, only my teeth were chattering and I was vomiting. My uniform always fits me perfectly.Including all the clothes I wear when I am out of the house, I am also very smart and neat.But when I'm lying in my lonely bed, I don't have to think about it.My pajamas, I must admit, were old and worn out, but they were so comfortable that I saw no reason to stuff them into a Red Cross bag I was going to give to the poor later.The last time I went to recuperate, I bought myself two new pajamas that have been sitting in my closet, waiting for my chance to wear them.Maybe I should go to the hospital first, then take it out and put it on. Still that Monday, in the late afternoon, I was slumped on the sofa in my oldest flower-studded shirt (which had brown spots scorched from ironing) On the bed, flipping through a TV magazine.I was always in the same place, and I didn't see a word in my mind.Just then, the doorbell rang! My first thought was: don't open the door!The next thought was: I am so ugly now that I cannot appear in front of others!But then it occurs to me that I've officially called in sick; there's a good chance that my superiors handed over the urgent mail on my desk to one of my co-workers, who then comes by with some questions.But why didn't she call me?Could it be the boss himself?No way; I was never absent, after all, and he didn't have to check on me or send me flowers on my first day of sick leave.So the police are here. I hurriedly put on a poor bathrobe, with cold sweat on my forehead, and a disgusting smell in my throat, and dragged my shoes to the door.I pressed the button and opened the door.Standing in front of me was Witold, and the door to the building below was unlocked. "My God, Tiha, you look so ugly!" he exclaimed suddenly. "I called your office and heard that you were ill. Please forgive me for coming here without saying hello, especially when you Now is the time when the body is obviously bad." I pointed my finger at the living room and already felt that his presence was not a good thing. He entered the living room and cast a quick glance across the living room: "Tiha, you sit down, you look like you have a terrible fever. Shall I get you a cup of tea?" How wonderful it would be if I had expected him to come!Then I'll definitely put on that lewd-looking silk nightgown that reminds me of old Greta Garbo movies, I'll definitely take a shower first, and I'll definitely wash my sticky hair , to brush my teeth for at least ten minutes. I sat on the sofa and looked at him with fiery eyes.Witold still looked so worried. "You must be wondering why I came here uninvited. Unfortunately, I have to tell you something very sad, and I don't want to talk to you on the phone." "What's the matter?" I wanted to say this, but I didn't seem to hear it at all. "Something happened to your friend Bid," he said in the gentlest obstetrician's voice. My face became paler and paler, and I couldn't speak a word. I really hoped that I would faint, but although my eyes were dark for a while, I still didn't faint. Witold squatted down in front of the sofa, took my pulse, hurried to the kitchen, took a very wet towel, and insisted on wiping the sweat from my forehead.Please don't open your mouth, I just threw up, I thought. "I'm so stupid," Witold scolded, "I shouldn't have said that when you have a fever like this." I ran to the kitchen and got a glass of water. I took a sip from the cup, wishing he would stay two meters away from me, but my complexion improved a little when he did this. Of course he was expecting my questions. "Is she dead?" I asked softly. Witold nodded. "Where's the car?" He shook his head. "I'll talk to you next time," he evaded. "No, I want to know the whole truth of the matter right now," I said, because that's the way a person should react at this time. "Saturday Lacey called me and asked me if I knew where her mother was. She must have called you too, because she called all the numbers in Bid's address book. Then came Sunday, and the boys All went home and considered whether to call the police. In fact, it was unnecessary to call the police, because at this moment the criminal police told them the terrible news. Someone saw Bid in the forest. She fell from the observation tower. of." "How did it happen?" Witold pulled out a cigarette, looked at my sympathetic face, and put it back again.He hesitated. "It's hard to track them all down now. Bud apparently went shopping on Saturday morning, then went swimming. In her car, which is near the tower, with bathrobes and weekend shopping. But why did she It is still a mystery. There is an empty champagne bottle and fragments of a glass strewn all over the floor, but it may have been left by someone else. The question now is whether Bid was in this place and people Is it an appointment, or did I meet someone by chance. I wanted to ask you, Tiha, is Bid suffering from depression?" Everyone who knew Bid knew that couldn't be the case.I thought about it a little bit. "As far as I know, no," I replied, "but menopausal women can do anything." I was annoyed at my last sentence as soon as I finished, because Witold knew, I'm the same age as Bid. "The police are investigating. Maybe Bid got some bad news on this day. The police specially questioned her boyfriend. Well, I think this incident is terrible. I immediately remembered Shirko's death. .” I stared at Witold with sharp eyes.Was he genuinely saddened by the deaths of Shirko and Bid, or was he just sorry for himself?He didn't seem to have been devastated by Bid's death, because otherwise he would have been in a solitude instead of talking to me about it as a headline. "What else can I do for you?" he asked. "Shopping, making tea, being a nurse, comforting you?" I took his word, even though I knew he was just talking. "I don't have juice at home. I should drink more for a stomach-induced fever like this. Can you buy me a few bottles tomorrow?" Witold immediately backtracked slightly on his promise. "Your disease is not suitable for drinking beverages, you should drink more tea." I sighed and said, drinking tea has made me sick to my stomach.I know from previous experience that drinking a Coke while throwing up is good for the body. He smiled at me and my heart melted. "Okay then, I'll bring you some juice and Coke tomorrow. But I have to go now, I have to help Bid's children. You don't have to get up!" He pressed my shoulder lightly, no Get me off the couch back and out the door. I feel better all of a sudden, the horrible vision has gradually disappeared, and what will appear in front of me is a picture full of hope: tomorrow he will come again, smiling at me.Everything will be fine, I just have to be strong and get through it. After two sleepless nights, I fell into a long dream.