Chapter 46 Chapter Forty-Five

Sitting on a hard chair in the hallway, Thomas heard Moira opening the front door downstairs.She had a little trouble, tried the lock twice and failed, and at last succeeded in inserting the key, which opened the door.She stood at the door for a while, "Hey? Is anyone there?" Thomas let her wait. "Here." He whispered. "Thomas?" she came toward the stairs. "Thomas? Are you there?" As she approached, he felt a chill hit him, and the hairs on his arms and neck stood on end. "Tom?" she was smiling, as if it were a game of hide-and-seek, and she went to the landing. "Are you there?"

They both stood still in place, Thomas sitting on a hard chair in front of Ella's open door, Moira on the landing.She turned and he heard a very faint sound, amplified by the stairwell, the soft scraping of wrapping paper in a bag. "Here," he said, his voice flat. "Oh." She took a cautious, tentative step, because of the tone of his voice, because he didn't move where she could see it, because she could feel the anger in his voice, but she came anyway.He could hear the wrapping paper in the bag as she went upstairs.She whimpered softly as she walked, "Gosh, the traffic in town is horrible." She also said, "Every time I go up, these stairs seem to get steeper..." She's making cute conversation , deliberately pretending that they are happy friends, chatting lightheartedly.

She reached the top of the stairs and saw him sitting like a sentinel at Ella's door.She was carrying a handful of bags, paper handbags with colorful ribbons on the handles, from a high-end clothing store.Thomas saw it. "For the funeral." He didn't say anything. "Special offer...my own money..." Thomas looked away, arms folded.She didn't move, turned her hips awkwardly, opened her mouth to speak but swallowed it back.She glanced at her bedroom door and let out a nervous smirk.She wanted to go back to her room and try on new clothes.He knew, but she dared not walk past him.

"Have you been here long?" Thomas turned to look at her. "What the hell is going on with you?" His tone and attitude frightened her, and she looked hurt, raising one shoulder to him, "Your father's funeral..." "She tried to kill herself, Moira, and you went out and left her with me." Moira put the bag down. "Tom, you don't know—" "I shouldn't have been left alone to babysit Ella!" he started yelling.He's glad he's shouting, enjoying the release. "Honey, you don't know anything." "You're right, you stupid bitch," he stands up, "the doctor's here, I don't know anything about her, I'm talking to him like the number one idiot, what the fuck do I look like ?” They were all stunned, because that was Lars’ catchphrase, and Thomas should have stopped, but the sense of humiliation made him continue, “What the fuck kind of mother are you?”

"I had to arrange your father's funeral, my husband's funeral!" With tears in her eyes, she was stranded at the top of the stairs, shopping bags at her feet, tipped over from the weight of their contents.He saw her put on the way she always did when she was arguing with Lars: shoulders hunched in, head dropped on her chest.She made him a bad guy. He stomped towards her, "I can't even call you." But, she turned to face him, tears streaming down her cheeks, and said, "Imagine how I feel, Tommy. I'm at the undertaker's, and people look at me, and they know who I am, and then he Call the front desk and find me."

"I don't have a cell phone number—" "Why?" she yelled, waving her arms, "Why? Why don't you have my phone number? Because I had to throw my phone away, and reporters were calling me every minute, and I didn't even have a phone number." How do you think it feels to not have a cell phone?" He was so close to her now, he saw how close her high heels were to the edge of the stairs, how far she would fall, "Did it never occur in your little mind that you could not answer when a reporter called? If a stranger calls you and it says 'unknown number', you don't even have to throw away that damn phone!"

Moira glanced at the soles of her feet, suddenly aware of the gap behind her, looked at Thomas who was only three steps away from her with reproachful eyes, and turned her back to the wall. They stared at each other, Thomas leaning forward, gazing at her like a predator.Moira felt the wall behind her, looking away. "What do you mean?" He was suggesting that she should get out of the way. Moira covered her face and spread her fingers so she could see.She turned to run downstairs, but the bag was at her feet, and a thick blue ribbon got caught on her heel, and she staggered. "Thomas?" came a faint voice behind him, and Ella came out of the room and stood in the doorway.She was still wearing yesterday's clothes, still had sticky pink and white marshmallows clinging to her chest.She watched Moira stumble and fall, her arms slid off the wall, her fingers curled, looking for something to hold on to.

Thomas heard a muffled thump and turned to see Moira lying on her side before him, the bag's ribbon handle still attached to her heel, the bag split. The black wrapping paper hissed open and a pair of brown leather trousers fell out, tumbling down the stairs, unrolling slowly until they came to a halt. Just then the phone rang, with a soft trill, like the sound of announcing the end of a round in a high-society boxing match. Moira struggled to stand up, looked across the hallway to her bedroom, "If it's the doctor calling, say I'm not in." Ella clung to the door frame tightly, only one eye showing, looking at Thomas earnestly.

Thomas smiled at her, walked over to Moira's bed, picked up the phone and said, "Hello?" "Hello, Thomas, is your mother there?" Not Dr. Hollis.He went dully back down the corridor to Moira, who was sitting on the top step of the stairs, untying the ribbons around her heels.Seeing Thomas hand over the phone, she stood up unhurriedly, brushed her hair to make sure it was neat, and answered the phone, "Hello?" As she listened, Theresa's voice on the other end of the line was raspy and babbling, and Moira's face changed as she listened. "Does he have it?" she said for a moment, glaring at Thomas angrily.She listened in silence until Theresa's monologue was over, and then she bit her lip and waited, "Is that all you're going to say?"

She began to listen again, and Thomas looked back down the corridor to see Ella still standing in the doorway, watching curiously, forgetting herself.Seeing his sister like this, he smiled.She met his gaze with a half smile.She knows that he is always with her, which is very important.For a moment, Thomas felt proud, honored. "Hmm," Moira said, as if she had been told something rather amusing, "well, if that's the case, I'm so sorry for you and the kids." A voice on the other end was shouting, but Moira's voice was even louder, drowning out the others, "You must remember, my dear, that the world is full of whores, but in England a man can only have one wife. "

She hung up and handed the phone back to Thomas as if it belonged to him; she looked him over from head to toe, then stooped to pick up the shopping bag. When she stood up again, she looked even older, "I have a headache, I'm going back to my room, honey, maybe you can see a doctor by yourself."