Chapter 13 Section 3. Sexual Behavior

Section 3. Sexual Behavior In his book "Basics of Human Behavior," Kechardori argues that homosexuality is identical to heterosexuality in behavior, with one exception: homosexuality does not have penis-vaginal intercourse.Therefore, to determine whether a certain behavior is a homosexual sexual behavior, the standard should not be the way of sexual behavior, but only whether the sexual object is of the same sex.This argument is so important because it was once thought that sexual practices such as oral and anal sex were unique to homosexuality.This is not the case, and the above-mentioned sexual behaviors all exist in heterosexuality.

The sexual behavior of homosexuals includes kissing, touching, hand stimulation, oral sex and anal sex. The difference between him and heterosexual sex is that there is no vaginal intercourse.Gays occasionally use dildos and vibrators, and extremely rare fisting-to-anal sex.A survey in the United States made a comparative analysis of same-sex sexual behavior and heterosexual sexual behavior. Mouth-to-male genital behavior accounted for 17 percent of homosexuals and 5 percent of heterosexuals; Twelve percent of the middle-aged and six percent of the heterosexuals.The former is the most commonly used sexual way for gay men to achieve pleasure; the latter is the most commonly used sexual way for lesbians to achieve pleasure.In homosexual sex, the line between preparatory action and main act is not as clear as it is in heterosexual sex.In addition, homosexuals are more effective sexual partners, ... "Many sexual encounters between gay men do not involve penile penetration, but rely on caressing, mutual masturbation, intercourse, or genital rubbing, oral stimulation of the penis , reciprocal oral stimulation of the pudenda (style 69 in slang, named for the position of both parties), and inter-anal intercourse that does involve penile penetration." (Laria, p. 131)

Linner and colleagues conducted a survey of gay men in Norwegian society and came to a similar conclusion: the main sexual methods of gay men are mutual touching, kissing, hugging, and occasional anal sex. (Linner, p. 70). In addition to the difference in vaginal intercourse, some sexologists have also found some subtle differences between homosexual and heterosexual sexual behavior. For example, the research of Masters and Johnson showed that there are Three-quarters of the nipples are stimulated during lovemaking, and only three to four percent of heterosexual couples have the wife doing it to her husband.

Our survey respondents made the following general descriptions of their sexual behavior: "Generally, two people are good, that is, oral sex with each other, hugging each other to sleep. Of course, play first, take off their clothes and look at each other, stimulate excitement, kiss, etc. The so-called "sexual excitement points" According to a homosexual who is famous for his proficiency in this area, there are as many as 29 points on the body of men.The kissing of homosexuals is mostly French, and there are also methods such as "tongue hook", "twisting twist", "licking the mouth" and so on.Other sayings about gay sex include: "Touch and stimulate each other first, then have oral sex and mutual masturbation. Some people think anal sex is too painful and dirty, so they put it between the two thighs." "Mutual masturbation, mutual oral sex. 69 Comparison It is common, but this can only be done at home, not in other places, like going to the toilet.”

According to the questionnaire data, among the sexual behaviors of the respondents, touching is the most common; kissing is the second; mutual masturbation is also relatively common; oral sex is much less;Many people filled in: "Never had anal sex", a few people filled in "Infrequent anal sex", and even fewer people filled in "Often anal sex".The number of people who admit to having anal sex is likely to be underreported, given the fear among homosexuals in China of sodomy, a crime whose scope is not entirely clear. Regarding the sexual behavior of homosexuals, most people always think that anal sex is the main way, but it is not the case.Due to the limited conditions of our survey, we cannot make random sampling quantitative statistics, but the impression we obtained after in-depth interviews is very close to the observations cited by Laria and Linna, that is, among gay men in my country, Anal sex does not account for a large proportion, while other sexual methods account for a much larger proportion.There are three reasons: First, according to the survey respondents, anal sex is limited by physical conditions (organ size), and they have to take a shower immediately after the work.Most gays in China have a hard time finding places with bathrooms as places to have sex.So this argument is convincing. ……… The homosexuals we surveyed said, “I don’t like anal sex. I feel unhygienic to others, uncomfortable to myself, and painful. Oral sex doesn’t matter, it feels okay. I’ve also heard of the 69 style.”

Secondly, according to one survey respondent: "Besides good hygiene conditions, there must be some reason for doing this kind of thing. Either you are madly in love with others, you are willing to be anal sexed by others, or you are old and the conditions are not good. The other party is willing to accept if the conditions are good.” Many survey respondents admitted that they themselves did not have anal sex requirements, nor did they like anal sex, and they would do this behavior only as a condition of exchange.For example, a homosexual said: "I have only accepted anal sex once. Although I don't like it, it is possible to accept anal sex as a condition. Some people have such a request, for fear of losing the other party, and for the sake of feelings, sometimes they can accept it. Another gay man also said that his lover offered to accept anal sex in order to express his love to him.He said: "He was originally very masculine and liked to fuck others, but in order to show his affection for me, he took the initiative to agree to do this, as if to show me his loyalty to me."

This practice of accepting anal sex as a condition of obtaining a partner's affection has a certain degree of prevalence.A well-known homosexual in the circle said: "That time when I took the train to ××, I ran into a policeman. As soon as I said my nickname, he immediately fell down. During the lovemaking process, I would agree to anything." Once anal sex is a conditional exchange, it becomes a more pure transaction without affection.One survey respondent said that he has no feelings for someone, but because he is a useful person, he agrees to accept anal sex: "He has small genitals, and he will agree to it after asking for it. He is also a useful person, but he He didn’t bring it up. The sexual relationship between the two of us has always been made by him, and I have never asked for anything, and it is always easy to talk and discuss.”

Third, there is a saying that is difficult to understand at first: "Generally, they are willing to accept anal sex from strangers, but they are not willing to accept it from acquaintances. The acquaintances are afraid of conflicts over such things, so in long-term relationships, anal sex is rare. Mutual oral sex.” Compared with other methods, anal sex is more like heterosexual intercourse, which inevitably gives the impression that the giver is a male role and the receiver is a female role. Therefore, the giver has a condescending feeling, and the receiver is prone to have Humiliated.So there is the following saying: "The relationship between the two is good, and the friendship is there. If this kind of thing happens again, it seems to be sorry for the other party. I am embarrassed to do this kind of thing again. The two of you are like brothers. I will not If you have the nerve to do it, he will feel sorry for me if he does it again.”

A middle-aged homosexual said about a sexual partner he met by chance: "I had contact with him once, and the second time he was too... I didn't accept..." It can be seen that although anal sex is not extremely unusual in homosexual sexual behavior More significant incidents, at least not the main form of same-sex sexual behavior.Freud also said the same thing on this issue: "Among male inversions, anal intercourse is actually not common, and mutual masturbation is probably more." (Freud, p. 28) However, among gay men, some do enjoy anal sex, and some are even addicted.During the survey, more than one survey respondent mentioned the slang phrase "ten flats are not as good as a circle".One person said: "I am not very interested in anal sex. Others have made such a request. Many people have such a request. There are two kinds of requests: giving anal sex and accepting anal sex. I know a sixty-something The old man asked for anal sex." Another mentioned that in a remote province, he met an older man in the toilet and said, "Which young man will fuck me."

One survey respondent said: "I met a guy who liked anal sex and reacted so strongly to it. I've never seen a person who reacted so strongly. He didn't stop asking for anal sex all night." There is another saying , think that those who accept anal sex are not necessarily effeminate-looking and weak people, "The more dark and like a grandfather, the more they like to be xed, and it will be allowed later." Many survey respondents admitted that they had seen or heard of people who were addicted to anal sex, and said: "After receiving it many times, you will become addicted." A senior homosexual made a more accurate estimate: "3% 10 percent would be very willing to accept anal sex, 30 percent would accept it after persuasion, and 40 percent would not accept it anyway." We told this estimate to some of our respondents, and they all thought it was "poor not too much".

There is also a seemingly physiological explanation popular among the survey respondents: "There are sexual nerves in the anus of humans, just like the sexual intercourse of chickens is anal sex. After human evolution, the sexual nerves in the anus degenerate." This is a novelty. We searched all the literature on the physiological aspects of homosexuality, but found no basis for this statement.But it is undeniable that there are some cases where anal sex can achieve sexual pleasure, not only for men, but also for women. Some respondents confuse receiving anal sex (as opposed to giving it) with masochism, saying, "Receiving (anal sex) is masochism." For these people, the same behavior as being heterosexual Both parties can achieve different sexual pleasure. Homosexual behavior (oral sex, anal sex) is generally always one party serving, one party being served, or even one party being happy and the other party being painful.These people therefore see the active (giving) party as sadistic and the passive (receiving) party as masochistic. Between the suitor and the pursued, the suitor is often in a passive position in sexual behavior.One survey respondent said: "XX loves me very much. Once he asked me to come to his house, kissed me when he entered the house, and said that if you are willing to X (anal sex), then X me. I asked him to lick me all over, He did. It was so nice when he licked the seam.” Sometimes, a person is so self-deprecating because of a strong sense of guilt that he plays the passive side of the sex life, and even reveals a masochistic desire.A homosexual said: "XX is the deputy section chief of the X department. He always talks about his job, responsibilities, and status, saying that he really shouldn't do such a thing. Once I went to him, and the atmosphere was very tense. In broad daylight, He was in a meeting and ran out of the venue. He asked me to take off my clothes, watched for five minutes, gave me oral sex, asked me to * (ejaculate) on his face. Then masturbated by himself, asked me to hug him and kiss, as soon as I was stimulated X (ejaculated), real typical masochist." The concept of sadomasochism in the minds of these homosexuals is not quite the same as the sodomasochism defined in sexology, which also exists in heterosexuality.However, sadistic behavior in the classical sense is also found in the behavior of homosexuals in our country.Of course, as one respondent noted, "it wasn't really violent" but had the nature of sex games. One survey respondent said: "I met a (homosexual) in Shanghai and hoped that I would beat him...the more he suffers, the happier I am. He is tortured willingly." Another said: "XX and Ren When they have sex, they are very rough, they are tied up with ropes, they can do whatever they want, and they are not considerate. X× was with him for a period of time, and his body was often burned by cigarette butts... Some people are willing to find sadists, and they are happy to find two or three people Take him to a place where several people fuck him at the same time, pinch him, beat him, burn him with cigarette butts..." Bound and whipped are typical sadistic behaviors.This kind of sexual behavior is an extreme phenomenon no matter in same-sex relationships or some relationships, and sexology classifies it as a "sexual minority".Obviously, it is different from "sadism" and "masochism" in the sense of active and passive roles in general homosexual behavior. Some sociologists believe that "sadism is more common and more violent among gay men than among the general population because, among men, aggression tends to mix with violence" (Cachadoli, p. 369) Our survey gave us the impression that many heterosexuals know nothing about sadism, a special sexual orientation, but many homosexuals have not only heard of it, but can Give examples that they have experienced or heard of.One survey respondent said: "I have a masochist who likes to be spanked, his ass is swollen, and then he accepts anal sex." He also concluded the following pattern: "There are such tendencies among Beijingers (homosexuals) Don’t dare to say it, the sadistic masochist among outsiders is not afraid to say it, anyway, leave after finishing work, no one can find him. Once a masochist came to the Northeast, and it spread immediately. Someone wanted to find him That kind of people." "...after he was satisfied he asked me to bang him up, I did as he said, touched his sexual arousal point, he rolled and screamed until he was exhausted, he felt comfortable and called me to kiss daddy. I don't I like people to call me that, but I like to hear the other party moan. That time I heard the nerve of ××, I felt psychologically comfortable, and it was also very comfortable to see the other party being made to scream when making love." He also said such a thing: "Once I was chatting with someone, a man followed me all the time. Later he said to me: I want to have sex with you. I asked if you want to be beaten, and he said yes, so I gave him two slaps and he left." Many homosexuals hold a sadistic view of pain and pleasure, which may be related to their sexual behavior.One survey respondent summed up their bitter optimism in this way: "There is also pleasure in pain, willing pain to get sexual satisfaction. Some people do this to get the pleasure of swapping roles, and most people feel less or less completely. pain of." Regarding the frequency of homosexuals’ sexual behavior, “Generally people put too much emphasis on the sexual aspects of homosexuals, thinking that their sexual lives are excessive and not as restrained as heterosexuals. In fact, the frequency of homosexuals’ sexual intercourse is not very high, on average two to three times a week 20 percent of homosexuals once a week; 13 percent less than once a month, and only 17 percent more than four times a week." (Cachatori, pp. 333-334 ) Our survey found that the frequency of sexual relations among homosexuals is closely related to age and physical condition.A homosexual reported that his frequency of intercourse was significantly higher than the average person: "When I was 19 to 20 years old, I was in good health and averaged more than twice a day (once when I climaxed); when I was 21 to 22, I averaged twice a day; At the age of 24, the average is once or twice a day; after the age of 25, I obviously feel inferior and don’t want to play, and the average is less than once a day.” Another reported that he averaged twice a week between the ages of 20 and 23; The frequency is the highest when you are young, five or six times a week; 27 to 30 years old, an average of 1.5 times every two days.A 46-year-old survey respondent said that he used it almost once a day when he was 30 years old, but now once or twice a week. Some people point out that the frequency of sexual intercourse is related to how well you eat.One survey respondent said: "I started eating raw beef last year, and my body got better. I didn't feel hurt when I did it, only a little tired. That year after I donated blood, I still had sex, and I recovered soon." For some people, the frequency of sexual intercourse is determined by their mood: "Sometimes once a day, sometimes once a week, the decision depends on the mood." One Wei said: "I have been with XX for two months, and I have a little relationship. I have only done it five times. Another said he was deeply involved with someone "three times a night, at least twice." According to the questionnaire data, the highest frequency of sexual intercourse is once a day on average, and the lowest is once a month. The median value is close to that of many heterosexuals, once or twice a week.Due to the scale of the investigation, at present we can only obtain case data.But according to our survey respondents, their frequency of sexual intercourse is normal among the gays around them, neither too much nor too little.Of course this is just their own feeling.