Chapter 8 4. Don't get married

"Bie" in Shanghai dialect has the meaning of comparison; the sign is the clue, omen, and cause.Zhang Taiyan's "New Dialect · Interpreter": "Mao, Ming Ye... Today's language is Miao. Those who are all the end signs and standards are called Miao, or Yunmiaotou. The Duanxu of things in today's common sayings is also called Yunmiaotou. . ” So “don’t be a clue” means to compete for superiority when the development of things just appears.Pingtan "Female Dragonfly": "Sometimes monks and priests do things together, and they don't like each other, and they even look good."

"Don't show off" originally meant that the rice seedlings of farmers in rural areas grow better than others, and later it gradually became synonymous with "comparison" among Shanghainese.In Shikumen, marriage is the most important thing that needs to be checked. Because talking about love in Shanghai is a very expensive thing.Not long ago, a "blind date party for the rich" held in the Finnish Pavilion of the Shanghai World Expo cost 300,000 tickets.This is the positioning of love in Shanghai. If you want to enter, you have to cross the threshold, and this threshold is economic strength!Excuse me, do you have money?

"Have you bought a house yet?" "Have you taken out a mortgage?" "How much do you have left on your mortgage?" Du Xiaohua, a Ph.D. from the Department of Anthropology at the University of California, USA, conducted a survey on the marriage and love views of white-collar workers in Shanghai and found that these are the top three questions most frequently asked by white-collar workers in Shanghai during various blind date activities. As a standard American, Du Xiaohua was surprised when he heard it for the first time. "I don't understand why this kind of question is asked. In the United States, if a man and a woman ask this question as soon as they meet, it's very 'earthy', like 'bazi'." Du Xiaohua said: "One interviewee asked the other party to have a BMW (BMW) car). I don’t understand, is she looking for a boyfriend or a BMW?”

She later discovered that not only local white-collar women in Shanghai would ask such questions to their husbands during blind dates, but also some single white-collar women who came to Shanghai from other places to develop their careers also like to ask such questions.Naturally, this is closely related to the overall cultural atmosphere of Shanghai. After staying in this luxurious city for a long time, you will be unconsciously attracted by various lively and fragrant scenes, and they will converge.This is the corrosiveness of the "Magic City". In recent years, all kinds of dating parties with various names have become more and more popular in Shanghai.However, due to the booming market, the phenomenon of "fraudulent marriage" appeared, so Shanghai had to introduce new regulations in 2008. prevalence in Shanghai.

When Du Xiaohua was investigating the "white-collar parent blind date group", he heard many parents say that children are too busy nowadays to fall in love. "Many white-collar workers say the same thing. Are they really that busy? So busy that they don't even have time to find love?" Du Xiaohua analyzed. "No time to fall in love" may be just an excuse, but the narrowing social circle of white-collar workers is the reason. undeniable fact. In fact, many people really want to fall in love, but where can they find it? In normal times, work unit and home are on the same line; on business trips, customers and hotels are on the same line.The income is getting higher and higher, and the circle of friends is getting narrower and narrower.With colleagues, the company stipulates that you can’t fall in love, and you don’t want to endure the pain of an underground relationship; with clients, it’s also difficult to fall in love, because clients are clients after all, and public and private should be distinguished.The rest, who else?

Thus, dating parties came into being.Hulala brings together tens of thousands of single men and women. Since the social circle is small, it will give everyone an equal and relaxed environment. Pick whatever you want, for fear that you will be confused.At the same time, the "white-collar parents blind date group" also came into being. There is such an example.At the "Blind Date Corner" in the People's Park, a retired professor put a sign with a photo of his youngest daughter, an introduction to his family and requirements for choosing a spouse on his handbag, waiting for his "sister-in-law". "My daughter is 29 years old and hasn't found a date yet. The parents simply go on a blind date for her. This is a big event in the family." He said he has been here 12 times.

"When the children are at home, the parents do all the housework; when the children buy a house, the parents give everything; even when the children are looking for love, the parents work together." This is Du Xiaohua's summary of many Shanghai families.In the past two years, the "parents' blind date group" has become a prairie fire. In 2006, a survey jointly conducted by the Psychological Research Center of Nankai University in Tianjin and Zero Research Group found that the average marriage age of Shanghainese was 31.1 for men and 28.4 for women, making it the city with the highest marriage age in China.The main reason for this phenomenon is that "Shanghai women have too high demands on their other half".And this requirement mainly comes from the material aspect.

Zhang Li (pseudonym), a senior white-collar worker in Shanghai, has deeply experienced the "substance of a little Shanghai girl".Zhang Li is a native of Beijing and has his own small company in Shanghai. He is a typical post-70s "struggle man". He is self-reliant and bought two houses in a prime location in Shanghai, but they were all loans. Introduced by a friend, he decided to go on a blind date with Shanghai girl Wen Xin (pseudonym), at the coffee shop on the 88th floor of Jinmao Building in Pudong, where a cup of coffee costs 88 yuan—out of gentlemanly demeanor, the place was chosen by the woman. Zhang Li is responsible for paying the bill.

On the night of the blind date, after being late for nearly an hour and a half, the heroine Wen Xin finally appeared, accompanied by a huge "group of relatives and friends" composed of her father, mother, grandfather, grandmother, aunt, aunt, uncle, and aunt. .The girl is well-dressed, fair-skinned, and well-spoken. She is a typical Shanghai Xiaojiabiyu.Zhang Li fell in love with her almost at first sight. However, the first sentence Wen Xin's mother spoke stopped Zhang Li. She said, "Mr. Zhang, didn't you buy your two houses with a loan?" Is it a Shanghai hukou?" Aunt Wen Xin's first words were: "Mr. Zhang, your family will hire a nanny in the future, and Ala, the niece, can't do anything."

After answering these questions one by one, in order to alleviate the tense "negotiation" atmosphere, Zhang Li casually asked Wenxin if he could cook Shanghainese dishes, but unexpectedly annoyed Wenxin's mother: "What Nong said What is it called? Can you cook? You can ask about it. Now a few only daughters will learn to cook. It’s too late for Ala baby, so she is willing to let her daughter cook? Besides, Ala, this baby girl, has been studying in a prestigious school all the way. , all the homework is the best, Ala primary school is XX elementary school, the best school in Shanghai, middle school is XX middle school, the best middle school in Shanghai, and the university is also the best university in Shanghai. Moreover, because She was retained as a teaching assistant because she was so outstanding, and she asked Yi to cook for such an outstanding daughter? Don’t be too confused!”

The first blind date ended in such an embarrassing atmosphere full of gunpowder. Just when Zhang Li was about to give up, the friend who was the introducer sent word again, saying that the girl proposed that as long as he could guarantee to pay the house in one lump sum before marriage, he would still be willing to date for a period of time. Out of his affection for Wenxin, Zhang Li fully agreed.But three months after the two started dating, Wenxin's mother asked Zhang Li to buy a three-carat diamond ring for her daughter.In the market, the famous three-carat diamond ring is at least 500,000.Zhang Li was very distressed: "I'm just a small boss who is working hard. In order to buy the house, I have already cut down on food and clothing. I rarely even play golf. In order to marry a wife, my quality of life has dropped so quickly. , I'm about to collapse." However, if she doesn't buy a diamond ring, Wenxin becomes very inactive when it comes to appointments, either saying that she is "uncomfortable" or "today is busy".This situation lasted for more than a month, and Zhang Li finally decided to compromise. After all, he really wanted to marry Wenxin.So she agreed to buy a diamond ring for her, Wenxin asked to go to Hong Kong to buy it, Zhang Lizheng had a business to discuss there, so he agreed. As a result, after arriving in Hong Kong, Wenxin went shopping from morning to night every day, buying five brand-name handbags in one go, but Zhang Li had a fever of 40 degrees in the hotel room, but she didn't know it at all.Later, the hotel waiter helped to call an ambulance for Zhang Li and he was taken to the hospital. After Wenxin returned to the hotel, she found that Zhang Liren had disappeared, and she didn't see the message left by the service desk, but she just thought that the other party was busy with work and didn't care.The next day, I continued to go out for a walk, until my credit card was maxed out, and I didn't remember to ask Zhang Li for help. He was in the hospital for an infusion at that time. Zhang Li expressed dissatisfaction with Wenxin's profligacy and selfishness, but the girl was even more aggrieved: "I am a 'moonlight family' to the letter. Since I started working, my salary of more than 2,000 yuan per month has been reduced in a few days." If I run out, I have to ask my mother for it. But if I have money, why should I ask you? Isn’t it that a man makes money for a woman to spend? My mother said, to see if a man is good to a woman, the main thing is It is reflected in whether he is willing to spend money on women, only a man who is really willing to spend money on you can be considered, and I quite agree with what my mother said." This incident made Zhang Li completely change his mind, "Shanghai girls with such materialistic things, I can't afford it!" In fact, what Zhang Li met was not the most extreme materialistic girl.In Shanghai, there is a popular nickname called "Fence Girl". On the well-known life consumption website in Shanghai--liba.com forum, there are many single women posting about marriage issues, and some women express high demands on various aspects of the man (such as height, eyesight, economic status, etc.).This "high" is relative to their own conditions, so that they can't find someone they like at all, so the words "fence girl" or "liba girl" appear on some forums, mainly in this city. It is used by older bachelors to express their dissatisfaction with this kind of self-aware and extremely materialistic women. "Wedge girl" has become a synonym for unmarried women who ignore their own conditions and blindly demand marriage. The criteria for choosing a spouse for a "fence girl" in Shanghai can be summed up in 16 words: "Have a house but no mortgage, have a car license plate, a monthly income of more than 10,000, and both parents died." For example: a "fence girl", born in 1977, an authentic Shanghainese, 1.63 meters tall, 48 kilograms in weight, graduated from a bachelor's degree, and has a stable income. The person she is looking for is: "It is best to be born in 1975 or 1976, not 'brother'; I hope to live a healthy life, with a monthly salary of more than 10,000 yuan after tax (this requirement is not high, many MMs require an annual salary of 200,000 to 400,000 yuan) ten thousand yuan); the body must be healthy, not 'Brother Glasses' (as the saying goes: the bottom of the beer bottle is the bottom of the heart. The little girl is afraid); Shanghainese, new Shanghainese can barely do; the house must be owned, it does not need to be big, 80 square meters, but no mortgage; a small car—it’s better to have it, if it’s not possible, it’s okay to not have it; it doesn’t matter whether it looks very handsome, but it can’t be too ugly; in the end, you have to love me.” In this regard, someone gave a feasibility analysis report: As of the end of 2005, the permanent resident population in Shanghai was 17.78 million, and the registered population was 13.6 million. According to the 1:1 ratio of men and women, 6.8 million were local men in Shanghai, and the proportion of the golden-age population aged 25 to 44 was only 30.6%, or 208.0800 Ten thousand people, 520,200 people between the ages of 30 and 34.Last year, among the city's population over the age of 25, the proportion of those with a bachelor's degree or above was 5.1%, which continued to shrink to 26,530. The age of 30 to 34 is the golden stage of the golden age. The average annual income of this group exceeds 50,000 yuan. According to the pyramid ratio, there are about 8,843 people with an income of more than 100,000 yuan. The myopia of Chinese teenagers tends to be younger, and the myopia rate of college students has already If it exceeds 70%, there are 2653 people who do not wear glasses.The average marriage age of males in Shanghai is 31.1 years old, even if half of them are unmarried, there are only 1326 people left.Due to age and income, most of the above-mentioned people have girlfriends, and one-third of them do not have girlfriends, so there are 442 people left. According to the two-way selection rule, the probability of meeting the standard at first glance is 50%, and there are 200 people left. about. After calculation, the probability of the "fence girl" finding the target boyfriend is 200 divided by 6.8 million, which is about 0.0029%. According to the data released by the Shanghai Municipal Statistics Department, the proportion of unmarried population in Shanghai has increased more than that of men.From 2000 to 2005, the proportion of unmarried women increased by 2.1 percentage points, which was 0.9 percentage points higher than that of men. In addition, statistics also show that among the unmarried population in Shanghai, the central area has the highest proportion, reaching 24.3%; the proportion of highly educated unmarried population has increased significantly. There are more and more "leftover men" and "leftover women" in the metropolis.For a girl from a small town who is still unmarried after the age of 28, relatives and friends far away in her hometown will be half worried and half curious to ask the girl's parents: Why is your daughter still not looking for a partner?Parents replied: She works in Shanghai.Relatives and friends will say "oh" to express their understanding.It seems that Shanghai should be like this, rich in prosperity and loneliness. There was a rather eye-catching piece of news on the Internet - netizens suggested that "leftover men" pay taxes and subsidize "leftover women".It roughly means that the phenomenon of "leftover women" has become a big real problem in China. We should find an effective solution to solve the problem instead of evading it. It is suggested that legal provisions should be introduced to give "leftover women" relevant rights and obligations.The specific operation plan is mostly set up for the behavior of "leftover women" who choose to be single mothers. The majority of "leftover men" compatriots have to bear part of the child support costs for single mothers' children by paying taxes.This assumption has attracted many comments from netizens, and some netizens agree with it; some netizens think that this is just worrying about it, and women should not be deprived of their freedom to be single; some even suggest that "leftover women" should not get married when they are over 30 years old , tax subsidies for 35-year-old "leftover men" who have no money to marry a wife. Arguments come to an end, Shanghai girls never lose their principle of marriage because of their age.They will not "go to the doctor in a hurry", and the listed conditions are clearly listed one by one: (1) The height is above 170cm, preferably 175-180cm; (2) The educational background must be a college degree or above (on this point, parents feel that if the educational background is equivalent, the options will be much narrower, so the requirements are relaxed); (3) Be smart, Have a sense of responsibility; (4) have a certain economic foundation, at least a good family relationship... The above can represent the marriage requirements of parents in Shanghai for their children. Regarding the fourth point, Haimu’s mothers (mothers) will say to their daughters earnestly: In the future, if you find a partner, you must have a house. If you don’t have a house, life will be too stressful.Especially in a city with high housing prices like Shanghai, where a house can easily cost millions, even if your parents pay you a down payment, the remaining hundreds of thousands will make you shed a layer of skin.In the next 20 or 30 years, you will be worried all day long, afraid that you will lose your job and not go to the mortgage bank to collect the house; even if you have a stable job, you will not dare to spend money indiscriminately, for fear that your living expenses will be overrun by accident.Even if you manage to get through the twenty or thirty years of repaying the mortgage, and finally have a house that is completely your own, and your child has reached the age of marriage, you can't let him live with the old house.So you have to buy a house again, because you have no savings before repaying the loan, so you have to ask the bank for a loan, and maybe you have to sell the old house to pay the down payment for the new house. Think about it, you have been suffocating in buying a house and repaying the loan all your life. It's worthless to pass by humiliatingly! Sometimes, you may hear that a girl is going to marry a boyfriend she has known for about three months, and the reason why she decides to marry so quickly is because the man's family is a prospective demolition household.As long as you get married before the demolition, you can obviously benefit from household registration. "If you get married this year, if you have a baby within three years, you will be able to share an extra 100 square meters, which is 2 million yuan." For love in Shikumen, only owning a house can give you a sense of security. Shanghai is like a stage. When the coffee-like romantic love encounters the life issues of marriage and family, the shrewd Shanghainese will lead the "new Shanghainese" who come to the metropolis to struggle together, and start to care about the real benefits and gains and losses. . Whether they are urban residents or those who come to the big cities to work hard, "how to get married without a house" has almost become a consensus on spouse selection and marriage; An opportunity to get in touch with high society and find better men. If you are lucky enough to be the son-in-law selected by Shanghai, then congratulations, the misfortune has begun. According to the 2006 National New Marriage Survey released by the Shanghai Wedding Industry Association, the cost of every married couple in Shanghai reaches 187,130 yuan (excluding the cost of buying a house and a car).How much does it cost to get married if even the decoration of the wedding room is deducted?The answer given by the organizing committee of the Shanghai Wedding Expo is: about 130,000 yuan. What are the concepts of 187,000 and 130,000?The former is 50,000 more than Guangzhou and twice that of Harbin; the latter is going hand in hand with Hong Kong and Taiwan. In 2007, the direct consumption per married household of urban residents in Beijing was 53,645 yuan, three times that in Shanghai.According to the survey, the consumption of newlyweds in Shanghai is 148.77% of the national average consumption of newlyweds, and the number of years ahead of consumption is 7 years, ranking first in the country.Shanghainese marriage consumption exceeds 16 billion yuan per year on average. According to a 2009 survey conducted by Shanghai Life Weekly and Kaixin.com, 416 of the 445 respondents felt that the cost of marriage in Shanghai was "high", and 72 of them said they were "unable to get married". From the analysis of the marriage consumption structure in Shanghai, the main consumption items of urban residents in Shanghai other than buying houses and cars are: new home decoration (78781.19 yuan, accounting for 42.16%), new home supplies (including home appliances, furniture and other household items 17048.77 yuan) , accounting for more than 18.00%) and wedding banquets (36812.80 yuan, accounting for 19.70%), accounting for more than 80% of the total consumption; other emerging wedding consumption (such as wedding decoration, wedding photos, honeymoon, etc.) accounted for 15.54%. Nowadays, the cost of marriage in China is so high that it has surpassed that of the United States.According to a report by CNN (February 2006), a survey of 1,619 newlywed women conducted by an American publishing house that publishes marriage books shows that the average cost of each marriage is 27,852 US dollars, and the items are generally the same as Chinese marriages.If calculated in terms of purchasing power, Chinese people spend far more on getting married than Americans, even if calculated in terms of exchange rates, the two are roughly the same. In 2005, the per capita disposable income of Shanghai residents was 18,645 yuan, and the cost of a wedding of more than 100,000 yuan means that the income of a couple for five years will be consumed. According to a survey conducted by the Zero Point Index Data Network, from the perspective of the average cost of marriage, the cost after 2000 is 46 times that of before the 1970s. In addition, in the more than 50 years from the founding of New China to the present, marriage is a major event in Chinese life, and the form of "treating guests" is constantly "upgrading". Marriage leave was very short in the 1950s and 1960s.At that time, the wedding banquet was very simple, and ordinary people gave some fruit candies and peanuts to relatives and friends when they got married.The leader is just adding two dishes and making dumplings in the cafeteria. In the 1970s, the "luxury wedding car" was three-wheeled. Although the wedding banquet was "vulgar", the blessings of relatives and friends were sincere.The main content of the wedding at that time was that the bride lit cigarettes, "gnawed" apples in public, and made noise in the new house with relatives and friends. In the late 1980s, there appeared people who spoke Mandarin well among relatives and friends and could enliven the atmosphere as masters of ceremonies, and then hired full-time wedding masters of ceremonies to perform ceremonies like performances. Today, personalized weddings have become the main driver of marriage consumption.In addition to grand wedding banquets, antique sedan chair weddings, yacht weddings amid rippling blue waves, and grass weddings in European-style courtyards are not uncommon. White whale weddings, tree planting weddings, aerial weddings, etc. are also becoming more and more popular.To achieve these "personalization", more money must be invested. What is causing the cost of marriage to soar?In fact, in addition to decoration, buying electrical appliances, gold and silver jewelry and other expenses that cannot be reduced or exempted, in many cases, the mentality of the couple and their parents' emphasis on "ostentation", comparison, self-saving, and showing off has become the key to affecting marriage expenses. reason. It is reported that more than 80% of parents in Shanghai are willing to arrange or borrow money for their children’s marriages. They think that their children’s marriages should not be worse than those of friends, colleagues, and neighbors, and couples rarely act according to their own financial strength. . "For our parents, who doesn't want to make their children's wedding more beautiful?" said a parent whose son is about to hold a wedding.Another mother said that her daughter will marry a married woman this year, and whether the wedding is decent or not is related to her daughter's future status in her husband's family. My daughter will definitely be angry in the man's house in the future. Therefore, no matter what, we must marry our daughter off in a good manner." It is the extraordinarily face-saving and ostentatious character of the Shanghainese that makes the "happy two feelings" love more and more rare in Shanghai Bund, and couples will feel uneasy because of a wedding. Not long after Mr. Ren and Ms. Gong got married, on the night of the wedding banquet, Ms. Gong sorted out the gift money from relatives and friends, saying that she would save it for future children.But the parents-in-law said that the wedding banquet drinks are all paid by the man, and of course the gift money received should be divided into two parts.The parents of both parties quarreled over this, which made the couple very embarrassed. The conflict between Ms. Wang and Mr. Zhu caused by their marriage is even more shocking.Ms. Wang, who has been married for less than a year, is planning to divorce. Her reason is: "The wedding is so shabby, which makes me very embarrassed." It is reported that Ms. Wang was pregnant before marriage, and the ceremony was rushed to get married as soon as possible.She was worried about the grade of the wedding car and the fact that the furniture hadn't been updated that day. She believed that her in-laws didn't value her, which also affected her relationship with her husband. There was a post on a popular forum in Shanghai that went viral for a while. A girl posted that her boyfriend refused to decorate or treat her when she got married, and asked netizens whether her boyfriend loved her or not.As a result, netizens responded almost overwhelmingly, telling girls to leave that boy, and that kind of man cannot marry at all. In addition, influenced by traditional concepts, some people think that marriage is only once in a person's life. Now that the economic and living conditions are better, the wedding should be held decently no matter what. They would rather borrow money than let people say that they are shabby . "I will take this wedding photo in my whole life, and spend more if I spend more." Under this "guiding ideology", Ms. Liu, who planned to spend 5,000 yuan, was "cut" by the photo studio for 9,000 yuan. The idea of ​​"just this time" makes most couples lose their rational minds in the face of newly married consumption. As the only child born after 80 years gradually entered the wedding hall, many parents with children of the right age began to worry about the increasingly high cost of marriage. Mr. Xu, who is engaged in teaching and research work in a university in Shanghai, is very helpless about the wedding ostentation that young people pay attention to today: "I think we used to be proud of being simple and simple when we got married, and look at the young people today who like to pursue individuality and fashion. The result is that the wedding becomes a money-eating 'tiger'." Mr. Xu said that his daughter already has a marriage partner, and he believes that within two years, she will face the troubles of marriage consumption. "The data released this year is that the average consumption is 180,000. What about after that? Will it be higher than this year? Teacher Xu couldn't help sighing: Is there a bottom to the high wedding consumption? Teacher Xu's concerns also hint at another finding.Shanghai Wedding Industry Association's 2006 survey on the income of newlyweds showed that 60.99% of the newlyweds had a monthly income of less than 5,000 yuan.Among them, more than 50% of the expenses of newlyweds come from their parents. It is understood that for couples who got married around 1978, the average total expenditure on marriage consumption was 1,016 yuan, and for those who got married in 1999, the average total expenditure was 51,038 yuan.Most parents also become the spenders of their children's marriage consumption. Twenty years ago, the average contribution of parents of newlyweds was 588 yuan, which reached 23,773 yuan in 1999, and now exceeds 100,000 yuan.Among them, the only child is particularly dependent on their parents when they get married, and the amount of borrowing from their parents is twice as high as that of non-single children. The ever-increasing wedding consumption has put a heavy burden on more and more couples and their families.Behind the large sums of money, most of the newcomers rely on the financial resources of both families as their backing. The latest survey shows that in 2010, the consumption capacity of the Shanghai wedding market will exceed 15 billion yuan, and it is estimated that there will be 150,000 new couples throughout the year.Do the math, exactly 100,000 yuan per pair - it should be noted that this is mainly aimed at the wedding market, and it is only a "conservative estimate". Relevant persons from the Shanghai Wedding Association said that according to the current market conditions, especially boosted by the "Expo Year", the entire wedding market is on the rise. The starting price.” In other words, after the newlyweds settle the cost of decoration, home appliances, furniture, etc., they also have to deal with the “popular” wedding. Those newcomers who have finally passed the first few levels have to continue to "grit their teeth" and persevere, and even rack their brains and come up with a lot of tricks in order to raise money.Zhou Qianlin held a banquet in October last year. In fact, her marriage certificate had already been obtained. , relying on "advance red envelopes" to raise enough money. Coincidentally, a post owner on Baidu's "Wedding Bar" said that he first collected the deposit for the banquet, and then paid for the drinks with the gift money received at the scene.In addition, behaviors such as "adjusting positions" from relatives (meaning "borrowing money" in Shanghai dialect) have become commonplace. Shencheng Bank even launched the service of "marriage loan". Of course, the most important "sponsors" for newcomers to get married are the parents behind them.According to statistics, more than 50% of newcomers in Shanghai need their parents to support them, covering everything from house purchases to wedding banquets. The investigation report of "Life Weekly" and Kaixin.com shows that for the marriage room alone, 49% of the respondents either paid the down payment by their parents, or simply provided the house by their parents.If you add other costs, the proportion will rise.And if the purchase of a house is directly included in the "marriage cost".In this case, the total cost of "marrying a wife" in Shanghai will increase by millions of yuan. An "Old Master" (Shanghai dialect, referring to a person in a certain industry) on a dating website said that he has met many lovers. Observe that the man cannot afford a house and can only live with his parents, and the house is too small, which is the biggest obstacle for sweet lovers to enter marriage.He pointed out that due to the high housing prices in recent years, it has actually become the most unbearable "marriage cost" for new people. "Life Weekly" and Kaixin.com conducted a survey on "Which is your biggest "marriage expenditure"?" 73% of people chose to "buy a house by themselves", while only 12% had a house before marriage.In another survey conducted, as many as 68% of the respondents said they have already purchased a house.Among them, 55% of the people think that the reason for buying a house is that "there is security only if there is a house", and 13% of the people feel that although they can accept renting a house, they have no choice but to reluctantly do so because the other party does not agree. The above analysis shows that the wedding house accounts for more than half of the marriage expenditure, and it is still the most important for marriage.The opinion of the reader Ge Jingjing who participated in the survey is quite representative: "Chinese people are relatively traditional. Houses actually represent a kind of stability. Without a house, one will always feel displaced or adrift." You need a house to get married, but you also know that housing prices in Shanghai have skyrocketed.Marriage consumption runs faster than GDP and CPI.what to do?Between "eating" and "marrying a wife", which would you choose?