Chapter 4 Chapter 3 Working thousands of miles, begging for the "entry pass" of university

In April, the first school I visited in Shanghai was East China University of Science and Technology. This school has the most impoverished students among dozens of universities in Shanghai.The teacher of the student affairs department specially introduced me to Zeng Xiangde, a classmate of the school who majored in chemistry in 1996. In this thin classmate sitting in front of me, I can't see a little bit of the unique demeanor of Shanghai college students who go to school in the eastern metropolis.He is dressed up and down, what seems to be a fairly new overalls and very old sneakers, with his head bowed, rubbing his hands and talking, it is clear at a glance that he is a "mountain boy".

Only knowledge and language belong to the students of this famous university.as expected. "I have been studying in Shanghai for more than a year, and I have never gone out on the street. Only on the day of Hong Kong's handover, the school organized a trip to Nanjing Road, which means I came back in one or two hours." Zeng Xiangde said. "The teacher said that you were admitted to university in 1995, why are you a student of the 96th grade now?" "After I was admitted to university, it took me a whole year to get a student status." He said. "why?"

"After receiving the admission letter, my family had no money, so I went out to work, which was delayed." "Then—were you not afraid of losing your student status at the time? Wouldn't that be a lifelong regret!" "Of course I know. But... there was nothing I could do at that time." When he raised his head, his eyes were full of tears. "Can you tell me something about it?" I gently took the water in the glass, afraid of touching his wound. Zeng Xiangde calmed down and said, "Yes." Here are his words: My home is in the hilly area of ​​Sichuan. There are six people in my family. We plant four acres of land. In good years, we can eat enough. We can sell some crops in exchange for some oil, salt, soy sauce and vinegar. When disaster years come, we have to borrow from east to west for four or five months. To live, so among my peers, they usually dropped out of school after graduating from junior high school, either working at home or working in other places.I went to school at the age of six and started helping out at home at the same time.When I was eight years old, I was able to carry water and hustle pigweed, and when I was ten, I was able to go to the fields to do farm work with adults.My father worked as a helper in a kiln factory, and later injured his body and spent a lot of money. The family owed a lot of debts because of this.After graduating from middle school, my parents asked me to go to Guangdong to work, saying that all the children in the village have gone, and you should also earn money for the family.I didn't listen, because I had a "college dream" in my heart, so I can imagine how my three years of high school ended.I am the second child at home, and the eldest has gone out to work to earn money, so I am the main laborer left in the family.I remember when I was in the second year of high school, my father sprained his foot during the busy farming season and couldn't go to the field. My mother was always sick and lying in bed.I do all the work in the field by myself. Fourteen or fifteen-year-olds are the treasures of the "flower season and rainy season" in the city, but we can't do it. Not only do we have to do heavy work, but we also have to provoke the whole family to live and work. important task.During those twelve days, I worked day and night, reaping and sowing by myself.When the folks mentioned the "second baby" that year, they can still tell a thing or two.My nickname is Erwa, and they say that Erwa will be successful in the future.But no, I passed the college entrance examination and was admitted to East China University of Science and Technology in Shanghai.My parents were not very happy about my going to college. They thought it would be better to go to Guangdong to work.Say you go to college for four years, but you can’t make money for your family, and you have to spend thousands of dollars a year in tuition fees. How much will your family lose in four years?Let’s just say that college is good, you can graduate and you may not even be able to find a job, why don’t you still go to work?So advise me not to.How can I agree!You don't know how hard it is to go to school in poor mountains and valleys for more than ten years!I will never give up the hard-won opportunity.But you can't go to school empty-handed!It was clearly written in the admission notice that the tuition and miscellaneous fees added up to more than 4,000 yuan!Where did you get so much money?My relatives and friends were not rich, and I couldn’t even eat at home. At that time, I really felt that I had nowhere to go.After all, the parents felt sorry for the son, and finally quietly sold the only farm cattle in the family.When I took those few hundred dollars from them, I had the feeling that I was guilty of going to college.But there is still a long way between a few hundred yuan of farm cattle money and a few thousand yuan of tuition fees!As a last resort, I bid farewell to my family in tears and embarked on a long and difficult journey of working and saving for tuition.

I took the train from Sichuan to Fujian and arrived at my uncle's house in Yong'an, Fujian.I chose this place because I hope my uncle can help me, because I have to earn more than 4,000 yuan in tuition and miscellaneous fees within a month.As a result, as soon as I arrived at Uncle Yong'an's house, I felt cold: my uncle's house was not much better than mine, and the more important thing was that my aunt was his stepwife.That woman is so powerful that my uncle depends on her face in everything he does.A foreigner like me suddenly entered her house, eating and living, how could she have a good face.Within a few days, I felt that I could no longer stay at my uncle's house, so I decided to move out.My uncle kindly bought me a three-wheeled scooter behind my aunt's back, saying that the transportation in Yong'an City is inconvenient, and you have a scooter that can pull some jobs and support yourself.I looked at my uncle disappointedly, but what can I say?Later, I rented a small broken room for 30 yuan a month, which was so small that I could only lie down and stretch out.After I settled down, I started looking for a part-time job.First I went to the construction site to mix cement, and later I sold vegetables.But Yong'an is a small city, everything is not so prosperous, and nothing can make a lot of money.I was very anxious, and the more anxious I became, the less effective I was. I was not familiar with the place where I was born, and it was not my turn to earn money.So I started collecting junk again, getting up at three or four o'clock every morning, and walking around the streets until dark.After working so hard for two months, people say to save money on food and expenses, but I often don’t eat and use, and in the end I only earned 1,400 yuan.It was time for school to start. I originally thought that I would be able to earn back my tuition and miscellaneous fees by working part-time for a month or two.When I was collecting trash on the streets of Yong’an, I saw a newspaper thrown away saying that all universities across the country had reopened, and I sat on the street blankly, wanting to cry without tears... Some elementary school students who had just started school walked past me and threw away He put down a few Coke bottles and said: "Take the broken ones and give them to you!" Then he laughed and left.At that time, I really wanted to tell them, don't make a mistake, I am an upright college student from a famous school!But can I speak?Who would believe it?I looked helpless, and continued to walk with heavy steps, yelling sadly along the street: "There are rags for sale——!" I never stopped my yelling, because I still wove the "university dream" in my heart.

On December 8th, when I came to Shanghai with more than 3,000 yuan in my pocket, and found East China University of Science and Technology, which I had been longing for for a long time, the teacher told me regretfully that they could no longer allow me to enroll because I came too late.I almost fainted on the spot when I heard it, but fortunately they said they could keep my student status for one year.As long as I said that, I started to work in the school catering service company, but someone stopped me, saying that the school has regulations that people who are not from the school cannot work in the school.I'm so sad, because logically I should be regarded as a member of the school!Helpless, I deposited 3,000 yuan in the savings bank of the school, and started a long part-time job again.The moment I walked out of the school gate, I turned my head and said silently to the school: "Next year, I must go to school..."

In September 1996, Zeng Xiangde got his wish and became a formal student of East China University of Science and Technology.It's just that this journey has been too difficult and long for him.In fact, among the nearly one million new students every year, there is more than one like him!Moreover, for those students with financial difficulties, when they have gone through hardships and entered the university, what awaits them is one after another unexpected troughs and ups and downs... But compared to some other students, Zeng Xiangde is still considered lucky. Suzhou is my hometown. In this rich Jiangnan water town, there have been thirty or forty champions in Jinke who have influenced the course of Chinese history. Therefore, the folks here have always respected the scholars.It is probably because of this point that some helpless "today's champions" have taken a fancy to. My friends in my hometown told me that in the two years of August and September in 1995 and 1996, the streets of richer towns and the stations and docks , There have been several college students begging for money.People in Jiangnan are kind-hearted, and the local area is relatively affluent. These college students who beg for money can almost get what they want.Later, there were more "beggar college students" on the streets and roadsides, which attracted the attention of the local public security organs.One day, in the area of ​​Zhitang, a famous town along the Xi-Shang Highway, the public security personnel made a surprise move and "invited" a college student who was holding a "begging book" on the street into the police station——

Police officer: "What's your name?" Student: "My name is ×××." Police officer: "Where are you from?" Student: "From XX, Anhui." Police officer: "Why do you come here to beg?" Student: "Because I was admitted to a university, my family was in difficulty, and I couldn't afford the tuition fee of more than 4,000 yuan..." Police officer: "Take out the proof materials that you were admitted to university." The student took out the school admission letter and the college entrance examination score sheet from his pocket.After that, except for one policeman in the waiting room, the rest of the public security personnel entered another room for some reason.The student who didn't care about it just now started to get nervous. Looking at the alarm clock "beeping" on the wall, he couldn't help crying...

"I'm sorry, student ×××, I've made you feel wronged." Several public security officers suddenly entered the room, and one of the leaders looked very kindly and said to him, "You can go, because just now we met with someone who admitted you. The University got in touch and confirmed your identity." After hearing this, the student was shocked at first, and then howled even louder: "It's over! Before I entered the university, the school knew that I was a beggar outside. Where do I put my face?" The police officer hurriedly said, "We didn't tell the school the truth about your presence here!"

"real?" "It's still fake!" The student burst into tears and smiled: "Thank you." "Don't rush away yet." Someone stopped him and solemnly handed him a red envelope, "This is the 1,200 yuan that our comrades in the institute have just collected. A little heart, congratulations on becoming an honorable college student!" The student took the red envelope, and with a "plop", he knelt down in front of all the police officers, crying so hard... Two years later, after many setbacks, I met this student. "I'm really sorry, if you didn't know that you are also a Suzhou fellow who has given me great kindness, your interview will definitely fail." He told me in the first sentence of the meeting, "Despite this, there is still no one in school. Knowing that I used to be a beggar to get to college..."

"For face?" "No!" he answered very seriously, "you are quite wrong." "Then why?" He looked up to the sky with a miserable expression and let out a long sigh, saying: "The days when I was a beggar was really too painful for me..." Here are his words - ... My family is in the Dabie Mountains of Anhui Province. My parents are both farmers. I am the head of the family. I have a younger brother, a younger sister, and a grandmother.My father didn't approve of me going to high school, but after I was admitted to college, he was really happy for a while, feeling that my son had shown his face.But when the school's admission letter was received, he stopped talking and sighed all day long.I know that my father is stumped by the tuition and fees of several thousand yuan a year.In our place, an ordinary villager family has to spend several thousand yuan in cash a year, unless the whole family is a strong laborer who works outside.In my family, there are old and young, and it is impossible to use the money mentioned in the admission letter to pay for my college education.Government help?No, the villages and counties rely on state aid, so it's useless to kneel down and beg.One night, I sat down with my father and had a serious conversation.I said Dad, you only need to say that you agree with me to go to college, and you don't care about other things.My father said that it is not easy for you to get into college, but this sample of the family originally wanted you to help support it, but now you are leaving to seek a future. I have no objection, but I just hope that if possible, I can help the family after college.I was so sad when I heard that, and I thought that going to university was not about working. It would be even more difficult for a person like me who has nothing to pay for the tuition fee of several thousand yuan a year. How can I help my family?But I know that what my father said is the truth and what is in his heart.Young people like me in the village have gone to other places to work to earn money. Their parents were born and raised in the mountains. They only heard people say that they can earn a lot of money outside the mountains, but they don’t know that the money is outside. It is not easy to earn.In order not to disappoint my father, I nodded and agreed against my will.On the third day after receiving the admission letter, I packed my bags and left my hometown like a wage earner in Murakami.What my parents can give me is 150 yuan and 20 boiled eggs after selling my grandma's birthday coffin...

After leaving the Dabie Mountains, I didn't dare to go directly to the city where I was going to study, but went straight to a town in southern Jiangsu to find my fellow villager who was working here.At that time, I had two plans. On the one hand, I knew that the economy there was developed and there were many township enterprises, so I could find a job that was readily available and could earn a lot of money.On the other hand, I thought of borrowing some money from a few good fellows from my hometown to cover my tuition fees.But once I arrived in this unfamiliar place, I realized that my thoughts were too optimistic when I left the house.It is not difficult to find a job in southern Jiangsu, but it is not easy to earn enough money for me to enter university in a month.The villagers who work in the same village have almost no money to borrow, because most of their wages will not be available until the end of the year.A classmate of mine in junior high school was very righteous. He heard that I borrowed money to go to college, so he went to his boss to ask for his salary in advance. Unexpectedly, he was "fired" the next day.After that, I didn't dare to ask my friends in my hometown to borrow money easily, so I thought about other ways.Later I discovered that wealthy housewives in southern Jiangsu, especially older women, love to burn incense and worship Buddha.So I bought a "Bagua fortune-telling book" for five yuan from a small stall, and spent a night reading it several times.The next day I quietly went to a small clothing market in a small town and asked the elderly women if they wanted fortune-telling.Some people really came to join in the fun.Maybe it’s because I’m always thinking about earning money to go to college, so I’m very serious every time I talk to people about it, and try to “accumulate” what I’ve learned and heard before. They are all used, so from time to time it can convince a few preoccupied fortune-tellers.Although I talked nonsense for ten hours on the first day, I only earned more than 20 yuan in the end.With the experience of the first day, my "business" doubled on the second day, and I got nearly 50 yuan!At night, I was lying in the dormitory of my fellow countrymen, secretly thinking that if I followed the level of the first and second days, within a month, I might be able to earn all the tuition fees for going to college!Ha, it seems that I can be saved in college!That night, I slept very soundly... When I woke up, I found that it was already broad daylight. "Little Banxian, get up and treat us to a meal!" The new day happened to be the factory's rest day, and several of my fellow villagers insisted that I treat them to a meal.I thought about it and I should thank them for giving me a foothold, so I readily agreed.As soon as I entered the restaurant, I saw several fellow villagers who seemed to have not smelled the smell of oil for several years. I felt sore in my heart, gritted my teeth, and spent 60 yuan of the 70 yuan I just got.After dinner, the folks went back to the factory to work overtime, and I started my "divination career" again.Unfortunately, this day was full of joy and sorrow, and bad luck came - the local public security and cultural departments jointly "cracked down on pornography" and arrested me, a "suspect".The law enforcement officers questioned me for a long time, but I didn't dare to tell my true intentions, insisting that it was to make a living.Although I didn't suffer much in it, the six or seven hours I squatted in the small dark room made me tremble with fear. I thought that I didn't make money this time, and if I didn't make it, I might lose my life's future. .The law enforcement officers searched and found that besides 10 yuan, there was a dirty "bagua fortune-telling book" on my body, so they detained the book and let me out.The moment I stepped out of the iron gate, my legs went limp.Why do you ask?I'm glad!I am glad that I put all the procedures for going to college in the dormitory of my fellow countrymen that day. If it was found out that I brought it with me that day, I would be ashamed! I no longer dare to engage in deceitful "fortune-telling" activities.When I passed the clothing market with heavy steps, someone suddenly hugged my legs, and I screamed in fright.Looking down, it turned out to be a beggar with an ugly face, a rickety body, and lost both feet. He lay on the ground and begged me pitifully: "I, I know you are a fairy, please do me a favor, I haven't eaten for a few days. There is also a poor old mother, if you don’t believe me, there are certificates from the village and the country..." The beggar said, and took out some crumpled papers with red seals from his pocket for me to see.What else to say, maybe it was a sympathy, I did not hesitate to throw my only 10 yuan to him.The beggar kowtowed "plop plop" behind me, and I dared not look back at him... That night, I couldn't sleep no matter what, the shadow of a beggar was always dangling in front of my eyes.For some reason, I feel that although I have complete limbs and good facial features, I am not even as good as that beggar in my bones.People have difficulties, and they are obviously asking for and begging from others, but I pretend to be gentle and tell people fortune-telling to cheat money.I don't know which string pulled it, and a strange idea suddenly popped up in my mind: why not just show that I am a college student who can't afford to go to school!Yes, I heard that people here have always respected scholars, maybe they can help me a lot!I made up my mind, so I borrowed a piece of paper from my fellow countrymen and wrote down my situation on it.Don't laugh at me, when I wrote that paragraph on the paper, I hardly thought about it, it was like pouring out bitter water, and the tears followed the ink... The next day, I got up very early, and I knew that Sunan People in the area fell in love with the morning market, so they came to a small town early, chose a crowded intersection, and started my career as a beggar. You ask me how it feels to be a beggar for the first time?well!I really can't make out a sentence or two.Let's put it this way, after I erected the "begging text" pasted on a hard board, I never raised my head again, and I didn't even dare to open my eyes.I'm afraid of being approached by others, afraid that they will think of me as a scoundrel, a coward who only reaches out to others.But I also hope that many, many people will come to me, ask me this and that, until they finally pay... Sigh!I was very contradictory in my heart. To be honest, when I sat down on the cold ground of the street with my head down, I regretted it to death. The sign escaped.But it was too late, and I felt that many people surrounded me.The first thing I heard was that someone was wondering why I became a beggar at such a young age, and then someone began to read my "begging text", and then there was a lot of noise and exclamation... After that, it was almost the same , Some people read the "Qiwen" over and over again several times seriously, and then they sigh or discuss.Although none of them touched me, I seemed to be ruthlessly stripped naked from the inside to the outside, from top to bottom amidst the constant exclamation and discussion. What dignity and shame? All were swallowed up by all kinds of sharp eyes.For some reason, it seemed that it was less than ten minutes before and after, but my forehead was already dripping with sweat, but my body was shivering with cold.I couldn't figure out what was going on, so I gritted my teeth and told myself to hold on!Hold on!But the more I do this, the more I can’t control myself. It’s over, I know that I only have the last bit of strength, and before the onlookers on the third floor and the third floor can figure out what’s going on, I pick up the begging sign, Rushing out of the crowd, I ran to the edge of a cornfield where no one passed by at a speed of some meters per second, and sat down on the head of the field with a "plop", holding a sign, and wept uncontrollably... When the tears came again When I couldn't, I found myself a total coward.Do you think there is anything lower in this world than being a beggar?And I can't even show the courage and energy that a beggar should have, what else can I do?Can you still take a step towards the university?Thinking of this, I punched myself like crazy, and when I reappeared in the street, I was really a complete beggar—poor and filthy, decadent and somewhat dying. No one can imagine the pain and distortion a beggar feels in his heart if he has not experienced it himself.One day I was begging in front of a garment factory in a small town. It was almost the end of get off work time. After sitting for several hours under the poisonous sun, I felt that I was about to collapse.At this time, a few people wandering around my age came over. They first scolded me, and then one of them took out a 10 yuan bill and dangled it in front of me, saying in a strange way that people who were admitted to college It's not easy, then you must have a good brain, how about you play a few games of mahjong with us, if you win, how about the money?I saw that they were not serious about helping me, so I replied that they didn't know how to mahjong.They said it would be a lottery, and whoever lost would pay.I knew that if I didn't play a few games with them today, I wouldn't have any good fruit to eat, so I had to put down the begging sign and started to try a few games with them.I was thinking 50% chance of winning or losing for each side, and I have the same chance.But at the very beginning, I realized that I had no chance of winning at all. The more anxious I was, the faster I lost. As a result, within two cigarettes, all the more than fifty yuan I had begged for in my pocket was emptied.When I found out that I was fucked by someone else, those people smugly took my winning money and ate a lot at a watermelon stand. In the end, they threw a bunch of watermelon rinds in front of me, saying that you are mentally retarded Chinese college students only deserve to eat melon rind.I, who was overwhelmed by ridicule and scolding and rotten watermelon rind, felt remorseful and ashamed, and felt ashamed.I didn't know where the anger came out of my heart, I grabbed the watermelon rind and smashed it on my head fiercely, until I was covered in mud, tears streaming down my face... Pedestrians on the street thought I was crazy and hid far away. Those naughty children threw melon rinds and drink bottles at me, and swearing at me.But I don't care anymore, and play like a lunatic with them.At this time, I had an Ah Q-like smile on my face, swaggering through the streets with exaggerated movements, but my heart was bleeding drop by drop... After a few days like this, I felt that my skin was thicker and my nerves were no longer so sensitive.I am numb to how others hurt and sarcasm, but my mood is still the same, that is to collect enough money, I want to go to college!And it was for this that I begged in dozens of towns and traveled all over the land of southern Jiangsu.During this period, I slept in the open air several times in a row, and I also dressed up as a peddler many times to avoid searches by the city appearance law enforcement team.But I still have to say that I met countless kind people, especially when I passed out on the street in the middle of the summer, several kind people sent me to the hospital.When I woke up, I found several hundred yuan in my pocket, but I couldn't find a benefactor who left his name and address. In early September, the university started.When I reported to the school with a bag full of money, the teacher in the student office asked me impatiently while counting the money if I earned it from business. I told them yes, I was selling myself.They looked at me strangely, not understanding what I meant.I thought to myself, this secret will only be known to me forever. After this classmate told me about his "life of a beggar", he left a sentence of "keeping it secret" and disappeared in the university town.I only found out in later surveys and interviews that there are more than one or two students who have experienced beggars among the freshmen every year.Under his (her) heavy feet, there is a string of desolate and persistent imprints...