Chapter 32 back to harsh reality

I admit that when my body floated up, it was like entering a fairyland, and all the pain and troubles disappeared without a trace. over the valley.It is a critical state: one side is death, which is blissful; the other side is life, which is reality and suffering.When my soul was about to drift away in the illusion and enter a coma, I told myself, I can't just leave like this, I can't!That's not where you're going, you can't fall asleep, and if you fall asleep, you'll never wake up. There were two selves inside of me at that time, fighting. A self is saying: "Give up, don't suffer pain when you die. Life is so boring, there are so many horrible things in this world, even if you can't die in the earthquake, maybe you will die in the next one." In a disaster, or in a man-made accident, such as a car accident, or an explosion... What is there to miss in this world, life is trouble and fear! It's better to go to the world of bliss and don't have to think about anything , don’t be afraid of anything anymore. Wife, farewell; little villain, farewell, don’t blame your father, in the next life, I will be your father and grow up with you; father and mother, farewell; friends, farewell... I am not afraid of death, I have said long ago that death is the beginning of another road, no, I have already embarked on this road..."

The other said to himself: "Li Ximin, are you just giving up like this? Is it worth dying like this? You don't even want your own family and friends for your own relief. How selfish you are! It's for your beloved Li. Xiaobai, you can’t just surrender to the god of death like this. Could it be that you can’t stand the temptation of the god of death? How many people in this world love you, are afraid of your safety, and are in pain! Don’t you keep saying that you Are you a person with a conscience? Then, you touch your conscience and say, you let so many relatives and friends mourn for your death, do you have the heart? Li Ximin, you should not let go like this, you are a man, your Where is the sense of responsibility! You must live, wake up, and wait to be rescued..."

Like a ray of light illuminating my soul. I can't die, let death go away! I struggled and shouted loudly: "Li Ximin, you can't die! How can you die? You have to live like a dog! You have never been a coward, you must hold on! You have gone through so many things How can you die at this time! You were a soldier once, where is the blood of your soldier! You can't give up, you can't!" My soul and body were struggling at the same time, and the desire to survive once again got the upper hand. I let out a long sigh, and returned to the cruel reality, where there was an impenetrable darkness, the mysterious and beautiful aura disappeared, and my breathing became heavy again.

But I was still drowsy, as if hypnotized by death. what to do?I can't fall asleep like this. I am well aware that falling asleep in this state is dangerous.I should stop myself from falling asleep.As long as you fall into a deep sleep, you may never wake up again. Even if someone comes to save you and cannot hear your voice, the rescuer will think you are dead and have to give up on you.I can't fall asleep, I must stay awake. The left half of my body that was pressed down was already numb, and the bleeding wounds no longer felt pain.what to do?Only pain keeps my mind awake.I thought of my right hand, which was still conscious and able to move.So, I put the back of my right hand on the protruding iron nails of a wooden board and scraped vigorously... As long as I was about to fall asleep, I would scrape hard... The back of my hand was covered with scars and blood flowed horizontally... I also deliberately scraped my hand. I pressed my head down to make the iron plate inserted into the left face go deeper, which would increase the pain.Because the injury on the left side of the face was very close to the ear, when I pressed my head down, I could clearly hear the gurgling sound of blood coming out...