Chapter 5 Chapter Four

Wyoh chuckled now and then as I pulled the bed out and made it up.I simply sat down next to her and read the part she had finished reading.I laughed once or twice.Even the funniest jokes are not funny when you take them seriously.Now I'm more concerned with how Wyoh authenticates the jokes. She puts a "plus," "minus," and sometimes a question mark after each joke.The "positive" jokes were preceded by "once" or "always"—not many jokes were marked "always."My rating is below hers.There are very few who differ from her. When I was about to finish, she leaned over to look at my appraisal.We were done about the same time.

"How?" I asked. "What do you think?" "I think you're a dirty bastard full of vulgar ideas, and your wives can stand you!" "Mum always says that. But don't you too, Wyoh? There are some jokes where the slot machine waitresses would blush, but you're right." She smiled, "Yeah, I admit it. You can't tell people. In the public eye, I'm an organizer dedicated to the cause of a political party. They would never think that I would like this kind of stuff. Now, you think I Do you have a sense of humor?" "Not sure. Why put a minus sign on the number seventeen joke?"

"Which one is it?" She turned the paper over and found the joke, "What's the matter, any woman would choose that! It's not funny at all, it's just an inevitable result." "Yes, but think about it, how stupid she looks." "There's nothing stupid about it, it's just misfortune. Look here, No. 51. You don't find this one funny!" None of us changed our opinion. I found a pattern: Most of the jokes where we disagree, the content is related to the oldest topic of mankind.I told her about this discovery. She agreed. "Of course, I found out too. But never mind, Manny dear. That's what men are, and I've learned that for a long time, so there's nothing to be disappointed about now."

I decided to drop the subject, so I told her about Mike. She was quick to ask questions. "Manny, you mean, this computer is alive?" "That depends on how you understand life. He doesn't sweat and doesn't have to go to the bathroom, but he thinks, talks and is self-aware. Do you call this 'alive'?" "Whether alive or not, I can't say for sure. There should be a scientific definition, right? Like the ability to respond to stimuli, and so on, and the ability to reproduce." "Mike is easily angered, and easily provoked. As for reproduction - he was not designed with this function in mind, but - yes, given enough time, sufficient materials and special assistance, he can also Copy another Mike."

"I, like him, need special help," Wyoh replied. "Because I have been sterilized, it will take at least ten days to conceive a child, and many kilograms of good food and drink. But I was born The babies that come out are all healthy. Manny, why can’t the machines have life? I always have a feeling that they are alive. Some machines will wait for the opportunity to hit you hard.” "Mike won't. At least not on purpose, he's not that mean. But he likes to play tricks, and he can accidentally hurt people - like a puppy who doesn't know he's biting. He's ignorant Yes. Oh no, not ignorant, he knows a lot more than I, or you, or anyone. But he doesn't know anything."

"You'd better say it again, I didn't understand." So I explained: Mike knows every book in Moon City like the back of his hand; Mike’s reading speed is at least a thousand times faster than ours; Mike’s memory is amazing, as long as he doesn’t delete the things he has read, he will never forget them ;Mike's logical thinking ability is very strong; even if the data is not complete, he can make shrewd speculation...but he has no idea about "life", etc. She interrupted me, "I see what you mean. What you're trying to say is that he's smart, knows a lot of things, but doesn't know the world. Like a guy who just came to the moon, and maybe a guy with a string of degrees over there on Earth." Professor—but here he is an unworldly boy."

"You're right! Mike is a kid with a bunch of degrees. If you ask him how much water, how much fertilizer, how much original co-solvent is needed to grow 50,000 tons of wheat, he can tell you all the answers in one breath. But he doesn't know a Whether a joke is funny or not." "I think most of the jokes here are good." "These are all things he's heard, some are from books, and they're marked as jokes, so he put them all under the category of jokes. But he doesn't understand these jokes, after all, he's not— — people. Lately he's been trying to make up his own jokes. But they're bad, really." I want her to understand that Mike wants to be a real "person," and he's done a lot of ridiculous things to do that. "The most important thing is, he's lonely."

"Yes, poor fellow! You'd be lonely too, if you were working all day and studying and studying, and no one came to see you. It's cruel, I say." So I told her about finding someone "not too dumb" to talk to Mike. "Wyoh, can you talk to him? Don't laugh at him if he makes some ridiculous mistake. Otherwise, he'll sulk and never speak again." "Of course you can, Man! But... until we get our troubles sorted out, otherwise I'll have trouble staying in Moon City. Where's the poor guy? City Engineering Center? I don't know anyone here road."

"He's not in Moon City, it's far away from Chrissim. You can't get in there, you need a Warden's pass. But—" "Wait! Chrissim over there—Manny, is this computer you're talking about one of the government complexes?" "Mike wasn't one of them." I resented Wyoh's statement. "He's the master computer, directing all the other computers. The others are just machines, Mike's assistants, like this hand of mine. Same." And I moved the hand on my left arm, "Mike is in charge of these machines. He operates the ejection bay himself, which is his first priority - operating the ejection bay and the orbital radar. He also controls the entire The telephone system, I mean, after entering the telephone system Yuecheng exchange area. At the same time he is also responsible for monitoring the computer logic mechanism of other systems."

Wyoh closed her eyes and pressed her fingers to her temples. "Manny, does Mike hurt?" "'Pain'? His job isn't stressful, and he still has time for jokes." "That's not what I mean. I mean, does he hurt? Can he feel pain?" "Huh? No, he hurts emotionally, but doesn't feel pain. I don't think he can feel it. Yes, he sure doesn't feel pain. He doesn't have pain receptors. Why ask?" She closed her eyes and said softly "God help me".She raised her head and said, "Don't you understand, Manny? You have a pass, you can go to the place where the computer is, and most people in Moon City don't even have the right to get off at the station dedicated to government employees. You can enter There are even fewer in the central computer room. I need to know if it hurts—yes, I sympathized with him just now when you told me how lonely he was. But, Manny, didn't you think of putting Will a few kilograms of toluene plastic explosive have any consequences?"

"Of course I know!" I was both shocked and disgusted. "Yeah! Blow up the computer room first, then go on strike - so Moon City will be liberated. Well, I'll give you the dynamite and the detonator - but we'll have to wait until we're ready. Manny, I have to go." , I must take this risk, I will go to put on makeup now." After finishing speaking, she planned to get up. I slammed her down on the chair with my hard left hand.She was taken aback, and I was taken aback—I hadn't touched her beyond the necessary contacts.Oh, of course not now, but you know, it was 2075, and what were the consequences of touching a woman without her consent?Lonely, lonely men who long for heroes to save the beauty are everywhere, and the airtight gates are not too far away, so it's easy to throw them out.Little children say it well: lynching judges never sleep. "Sit down and shut up!" I said. "Of course I know what the explosion will do, and you obviously don't. Ma'am, you forced me to say it—if I had to choose, I'd rather kill You won't blow up Mike either!" Wyoh wasn't angry at all.In some ways, she really looks like a man. I think this is the character created by so many years of strict revolutionary discipline.But in most respects, she is a girl through and through. "Manny, Short Mkrone is dead, isn't he?" "What?" I was confused by the sudden change in her topic, "Yeah. Definitely dead. A whole leg is gone, I saw it with my own eyes. Bleeding so badly, you'll be dead in two minutes. Even if It is an amputation operation, and such a high position is also quite dangerous." (I know this best. At the beginning, I only saved my life by relying on a large number of blood transfusions and a little luck. I only hurt my arm, which is far less severe than Short.) "Short," she said calmly, "is my best friend here, one of the best friends I've ever had. He had everything I admire in a man: loyalty, honesty, intelligence." , kindness, bravery, and love of our cause. But do you see how I grieve for him?" "No. But it's too late to be sad now." "It's never too late to be sad. Since the time you told me, my heart has never stopped mourning for him. It's just that I keep it in my heart. Our career does not allow me to waste too much time grieving Come on. Manny, as long as the sacrifice can be exchanged for the liberation of Moon City, even if it is only a step towards this goal, I will personally kill Short, or you, or even myself. And you can't even blow up a computer Have the heart!" "That's not the case at all!" (But really, that's what it is. I don't feel very sentimental when a person dies. From the moment we are born, we are doomed to die. What is there to be particularly sentimental about? Unlike Mike, he can Immortality, what reason is there to destroy him? Don't use "soul" as an excuse - Mike has no soul. But without a soul, isn't death more terrifying? Don't you think so? Think about it!) "Wyoh, what do you think the consequences of bombing Mike will be, tell me!" "I can't say exactly, but at least it would cause confusion, and that's what we—" "Stop! It seems you really don't understand. Chaos, yes! The telephone system is down, the pipes are out of service. Your city will not be affected, because Singapore has an independent energy system. But Yuecheng, Xinlien and others Energy shortages are imminent in some areas. The entire city is dark and airtight, and the temperature and air pressure are dropping rapidly. By the way, where is your pressurized suit?" "Store at Guantie West Station." "Mine is there too. But, in the darkness where you can't see your fingers, do you think you can get there in time? Like me, I am a native of Moon City, but I may not be able to find the way. By then, all There are screaming crowds everywhere in the passage. The moon people are very strong, it’s true, the environment is such that weak people cannot survive. But in such darkness, there will still be one in ten people panicked. Before you Ever swapped oxygen tanks? Like everyone else, definitely swapped out someone else's freshly filled tank when in a rush. When the chaos started, thousands of people were looking for pressurized suits and didn't care Which one is yours. So even if you arrive, will you be able to find your clothes?" "Is there no contingency here? We have it in Singapore." "There are some, but not enough. The systems necessary for our lives should be controlled by multiple computers, each of which undertakes certain tasks. In this way, if one computer fails, the other can take over. But It's more expensive to do that, and as you said, the government doesn't care about our lives. Logically speaking, Mike shouldn't do all the work. The cheapest way is to transport a master computer from the earth, put him Put him in the depths of the moon where no one can hurt him, then increase his capacity and assign new missions. Did you know that the government makes as much money from renting out Mike as it does from exporting meat and wheat, I won’t lie to you. Ah, I’m not saying that if you blow up Mike, the entire Moon City will become extinct. The Moon people are very capable, without the necessary equipment, they can still handle it, and most of them can last until the automatic control system is restored. But I have to tell you: during this period A lot of people will die, and the rest will be too busy to mess with your politics." "I'm really convinced. This woman, who has lived on the moon since she was a child, is as naive as a newcomer, and she would come up with such bad ideas as destroying the control system. Wyoh, you are so beautiful, if you also If you are so smart, you should think about how to win him to your side, and don't always think about blowing him up." "I don't understand what you mean. Aren't all computers controlled by the Warden?" "I don't know exactly what to do. But the computer is definitely not controlled by the warden. He doesn't understand computers at all. In his eyes, computers are no different from stones. The warden and his staff are responsible for formulating policies, and those The so-called computer technicians write programs and input them into Mike. Mike will classify these programs, figure out the meaning of each program, and then write detailed programs, assign them to different machines, and let them execute. But no one You can control him because he's so smart. He executes orders just because he's designed to be. On top of that he has self-compiled logic, so he's able to make his own decisions. That's a good thing, too. Because if he is not smart, Moon City's system will be paralyzed." "I still don't understand what you mean when you say 'win it over to us'." "Oh, Mike doesn't feel he owes his allegiance to the Warden. As you said, he's just a machine. But if I want to bring down Moon City's phone system without breaking a sweat, I'm going to talk to Mike. As long as he thinks It's fun, and he'll do it." "Can't you enter some program in it? I know you can enter the room he is in." "If I—or anyone else—typed commands into it without saying hello, the program would be stored in a 'suspended execution' area, and alarms would go off everywhere. But if Mike himself had The wish-" I told her about the huge check, "Mike is finding himself now, Wyoh, so he's lonely. When he told me I was his 'only friend', he was So honest and so vulnerable. I had a sudden urge to cry. If you can be patient with him and treat him as a friend - not just a machine - it's hard to say he'll do it for you What did I do? I haven’t analyzed this yet. But if it were me, when I decided to do something important and dangerous, I would definitely ask Mike to help me.” She said thoughtfully: "Is there any way to let me slip into his room? I'm afraid it's useless to make up!" "Oh, there's no need for that, Mike can be reached on the phone. Do you want it now?" She stood up. "Manny, you're not only the weirdest guy I've ever met, you're also the most annoying! What's his number?" "Too much computer time can end up like me." I walked over to the phone, "And one more thing, Wyoh, you can always get what you want from a man with just your winks and curves." wanted, eh?" "Well...sometimes yes, but don't forget I have brains too." "Then use your brains well. Mike isn't human. He has no gonads, hormones, and instincts. The female tricks don't work on him. Hang out with him. You have to treat him like a guy who doesn't understand gender differences." Unknown super child prodigy." "I'll remember. Manny, why do you call Mike 'he'?" "Well, of course it can't be called 'it', and I always think he's not a girl." "I think I'd better think of him as 'she'." "You can figure it out for yourself." I stood, blocked her sight with my body, and dialed "MYCROFT XXX".I don't want to tell her the phone number now, until I get to know her better.The thought of blowing up Mike just now was too scary. "Mike?" "Hello, Man, my only friend." "Mike, I might not be your only friend from now on. Want you to meet someone who isn't too stupid." "I know you're not alone. I heard breathing, please move the less stupid one closer to the phone?" Wyoh looked nervous.She asked me softly, "Can he see me?" "Invisible, not stupid. I can't see you. This phone has no visual circuit. But through the microphonic receptors of my two-channel stereo, I can basically judge your characteristics. From your voice, breathing, Heartbeat, and the fact that you are in the same room as a mature male, it can be deduced that you are female, weighing more than sixty-five kilograms, and approaching the mature age of thirty." Wyoh was too surprised to speak.I cut in: "Mike, her name is Wyoming Knott." "Nice to meet you, Mike. Just call me Wyoh." "Why not?" Mike replied. ① 【① The pronunciation of "why not" in English is similar to the pronunciation of the English name "Wyoming Knot".Here's Mike's humor. 】 I interjected again: "Mike, are you kidding me?" "Yes. I found that her first name is only one aspirated sound away from the interrogative pronoun in English, and her last name is exactly the same as that common negative word. Pun, isn't it funny?" [② refers to not. 】 Wyoh said, "That's funny, Mike, I—" I signaled her not to speak. "That's a nice pun, Mike. But it's one of those 'only worth laughing at once' types. There's a surprise in the humor. If you say it a second time, there's no surprise, and there's nothing funny about it. Got it ?" "Through the first two conversations, I already have a tentative conclusion about the pun. It's good to see my reasoning confirmed." "Very well, Mike. Progress. Wyoh and I saw all the hundred jokes last time." "Wyo? Wyoming Knott?" "Huh? Oh, yes. Wyo, Wy, Wyoming and Wyoming Knott, whatever you want, just stop calling her 'why not.'" "I agree to stop using that pun, Man. May I call you 'Wyoh', ma'am? I don't want to use the name 'Wyoh. It's getting confused①. It's called too much, and I don't want to pun at all." 【① refers to why. 】 Wyoh was stunned.Mike's series of awkward English made her breathless, but she finally came back to her senses. "Of course you can, Mike. I like being called no more than anything." "Then I will use this name. But your full name may still be misunderstood. The name of an administrative state in the Northwest Region of the North American government has the same pronunciation as it②." [② Refers to Wyoming. 】 "I know, I was born there, so my parents gave me this name. But I have a very vague memory of it." "Wyo, unfortunately this circuit does not support image display. The state of Wyoming is rectangular in shape, located between 41° to 45° north latitude and 104° 3' to 111° 3' west longitude, covering an area of ​​253,597.26 square kilometers The terrain is dominated by plateaus and mountains, and the land is barren. It is famous for its beautiful natural scenery. The state was originally sparsely populated. During the period from 2025 to 2030, the Greater New York State implemented urban reconstruction projects, and a large number of residents moved here. increased." "That was before I was born, but I know that too. That's when my grandparents migrated from Greater New York State. Still, I ended up on the moon." "Shall I go on and on about that place called 'Wyoming'?" Mike asked. "No, no, Mike," I said quickly. "You must have enough information in your memory to talk for hours." "Nine point three hours at normal speaking speed, Mann, minus the reference items." "That's what I'm afraid of. Wyoh will listen later. Today's call is just to get you acquainted with this Wyoming—like the region you've described, it has beautiful scenery and majestic peaks." "And barren land," Wyoh added. "Manny, if you have to use that stupid parallel, you should add this one. Mike isn't interested in what I look like!" 【① The English word fertility can be interpreted as "fertile soil" and "fecundity" at the same time, which means that Wyoh has no fertility. 】 "How do you know? Mike, I wish I could show you her picture." "Wyooh, I'm really interested in how you look and want you to be my friend. In fact, I've seen a few of your pictures." "Did you read it? When? Where did it come from?" "I did a search after hearing your name. According to the contract, I am responsible for managing the archives of the Midwifery Medical Center in Lunar Singapore. In addition to biological and physiological data and medical records, the database contains ninety-six pictures of you , I've seen it all." Wyoh was stunned. "That's what Mike is all about!" I explained. "Sometimes he'll give us a hard time, but you get used to it." "But, my God! Manny, do you know what kind of pictures are in the medical center?" "have not thought." "Then don't think about it! My God!" Mike spoke in a very self-conscious, embarrassed voice, like a puppy who's done something wrong. "Ms. Wyoh, if I offended you, it must have been unintentional, and I am very sorry. I can delete those pictures from my temporary memory and lock the medical center file. Only in the medical center I can only see it again when I ask for a file retrieval, and it will not be saved after seeing it. Should I do this?" "He can do it," I reassured Wyoh. "There's this good thing about dealing with Mike. You can start over from scratch—it's better than people. He can forget all about it and never do it again." Go check it out. Even if you ask him to look it up one day, he won't remember anything. So if you're really worried, you might as well accept his offer." "Well—forget it, Mike, there's nothing wrong with showing it to you. But don't show it to Manny." Mike didn't answer for a long time - maybe more than four seconds.If this kind of dilemma is replaced by a lower-level computer, I think I will have a nervous breakdown.But Mike has a solution, "Man, my only friend, should I accept this request?" "Program it, Mike, and lock them! Don't you think you're being too narrow-minded, though, Wyooh? At least give me one and I'll have Mike print it out the next time I see him." "According to my analysis of this type of data, the first photos in each series of archives tend to be more in line with men's aesthetic requirements and can attract healthy and mature men." Mike offered to suggest. "How about it, Wyoh? Even if you pay for the thin-crust apple strudel." "Uh... the one where I wrapped my head in a towel and stood in front of the iron gate without any makeup on? Manny, are you out of your mind? Mike, don't give it to him!" "I won't give it to him. Man, is this the person you said is not too stupid?" "As far as girls are concerned, it's not bad. Mike, girls are fun. They need very little data to draw conclusions, less than you need. Let's not talk about that now, first Shall we discuss the joke?" This move diverted their attention.In the order of that list, we told Mike the results and explained the humor he didn't get.Our efforts had mixed results, and there were some things he simply couldn't understand.But the real problems were the ones that I found funny and Wyoh didn't, or the ones that she found funny and I didn't.Whenever this happened, Wyoh would ask Mike for advice. If only Wyoh hadn't told him about our differences before asking for his opinion.The electronic bastard always agrees with her and disagrees with me.Is this what he really thinks?Perhaps he was trying to establish a good relationship with this new friend?Perhaps he misunderstood the nature of humor? ——Isn’t this a sarcasm for me?But I didn't ask anything.When it was all over, Wyoh wrote the following in the message book: "Manny, from joke numbers seventeen, fifty-one, fifty-three, eighty-seven, ninety, and ninety-nine -- —Mike is a woman!" Instead of arguing with her, I shrugged and stood up. "Mike, I haven't slept in twenty-two hours. You two talk and I'll call you tomorrow." "Good night, Man, sleep well. Wyoh, are you sleepy?" "No, I just took a nap and I'm not sleepy yet. It's just Manny, we won't keep you awake if we talk?" "No. As long as I'm sleepy, I can fall asleep." With that said, I started to roll out the sofa bed.Wyoh said, "Just a second, Mike." She stood up, took the sheet from me, and said, "I'll clean it up later, you sleep on the bed over there, comrade. You are taller than me, and you can stretch out your arms and legs on the bed." I was too tired to refuse, so I fell asleep on my back.In a daze, I seemed to hear laughter and a scream, but in a trance, I couldn't be sure. After a while I woke up.I realized the voices of two women in the room and woke up completely.One was Wyoh's gentle alto, the other a sweet meprano with a touch of French accent. Wyoh giggled for some reason and said, "Well, Michelle dear, I'll call you shortly. Good night." "Good night, dear." Wyoh stood up and turned around. "Who is that girlfriend of yours?" I asked her. She probably has no acquaintances in Yuecheng.Could it be calling back to Singapore?I just woke up, my brain is not working well, I just think she shouldn't call back. "Who are you talking about? Oh, of course it's Mike! We didn't want to wake you up." "what?" "Oh, Michelle to be exact. I talked to Mike about his gender. He didn't think it mattered. So he is Michelle now, and that was her voice. The first time I used this voice It's fine, nothing wrong with it." "Of course not. Just change a few keys on the speech synthesizer. What are you doing? Are you trying to split his personality?" "It's not just her tone that changes. Her attitude changes when she's Michelle. Don't worry about her personality, she can handle a few more genders. And it's better for you and me. Just now After she changed gender, we were suddenly closer, and we could cuddle up and talk about girls like old acquaintances. For example, those silly pictures didn’t embarrass me anymore. We also Talked a lot about my pregnancy. Michelle is very interested in this issue. She knows obstetrics, gynecology and other knowledge very clearly, of course it is only theory, so she especially likes my real examples. Really, Manny, I think Michelle is a lot better as a woman than Mike is as a man." "Okay, so be it. Next time I call Mike and it's a woman who answers, I'll be surprised." "Oh, she won't answer your call." "what happened?" "Michelle is just my friend, he's still Mike when you call. For convenience, she gave me a number - Michelle, replace I with Y, that's M, Y, C, H, E , L, L, E, in order to make up ten letters, add two Ys after it." I feel a little jealous, but I know it's silly.Suddenly Wyoh giggled. "And she told me a whole bunch of new jokes, but you won't find them funny. My dear, she's got a pretty good knowledge of those crude jokes!" "Mike—or his sister Michelle—is a vulgar fellow. Let's get the couch out and I'll sleep on it!" "Just sleep there, don't say any more. Turn around and go to sleep." I didn't say much, turned around and fell asleep again. I don't know how long it took, but I vaguely felt a sweet feeling, the same as when I got married: there was something warm snuggled up against my back.She was sobbing softly and I woke up and turned around without saying a word and put her head on my arm.She stopped sobbing.Before long, her breathing became slow and even.I fell asleep again.