Chapter 53 Chapter 53: Sansa

The southern sky was thick with smoke.Black plumes of smoke swirled from hundreds of fires in the distance, black fingers covering the stars.On the other side of the Blackwater, flames filled the horizon and burned through the night, while on this side the Imp set fire to the entire riverfront: docks and warehouses, houses and brothels, everything outside the city walls burned. Even in the Red Keep, the air smelled of ash.When Sansa finds Ser Dontos in the peaceful godswood, he sees her red eyes and asks her if she ever cried. "It's just the smoke and dust," she lied, "it seems that half of the royal forest is burning."

"Lord Stannis wants to smoke the imp's wildlings out of the forest," Dontos staggered as he spoke, one hand on the trunk of the chestnut tree, his red and yellow clown costume stained with wine. "They killed his scouts, raided his train wagons, and set fires everywhere. I heard the imp tell the queen that Stannis must train his horses to eat ashes, for he won't find a leaf. Formerly Cavaliers, who don't hear so many things, are jesters now, and they don't see me, and talk as if I don't exist. I tell you—" He leaned closer, breathed in her face"— The octospider buys all the trivial information, and I think Yuetong has served him for many years."

He was drunk again.He called himself poor Florian, and he really did.But now I can only count on him. "Lord Stannis really burned the godswood in Storm's End?" Dontos nodded. "He made a great pyre of trees and dedicated them to his new god, the red priestess told him to do it. I heard that he now has his body and soul at her command, and even swore that if he took King's Landing, he would burn it Where is the Great Sept of Baelor!" "Burn it." When Sansa saw the marble walls and seven crystal towers of the Great Sept for the first time, she really thought it was the most beautiful building in the world, but since Joffrey beheaded her father on the pulpit of the cathedral, she It is filled with disgust. "It's best to burn it clean."

"Shh, boy, the gods will hear." "How? They never listen to my prayers." "They're listening, that's why they sent me, aren't they?" Sansa was picking at the bark with her hands, feeling dizzy and feverish. "If they send you, what's the use? You promised to take me home, but I can't go." Dontos patted her arm. "I've talked to a man who's a good friend of mine . . . and your friend, miss. He'll hire a fast boat and take us to safety when the time comes." "Now is the time," Sansa insisted. "Now that the battle is on, no one is paying attention to me. I think we'll get out if we act."

"My child, my child." Dontos shook his head. "Sneaking out of the Red Castle is easy, we can do it. But every gate is heavily guarded, not to mention the little devil has blocked the river." This is a fact.Today the Blackwater River is emptier than ever.All the ferries withdrew to the north shore, and the merchant ships either escaped or were seized by the imps for battle.As far as I could see, the only ship was the king's warship.They kept going back and forth, staying in the deep waters of the middle of the river, flying arrows with Stannis' archers on the south bank.

Lord Stannis himself was still on the march, but his vanguard had arrived two nights ago on a dark and windy month.When they awoke in the morning, all King's Landing saw their tents and banners.Sansa had heard that there were five thousand of them, almost as many gold cloaks as there were in the city.Over the enemy camp flew the green and red apples of Fossoways, the turtle of Eastmonds, and the fox and flower of Florents, under the command of Sir Good Morrigan, a famous Southern Knight, formerly Renly's Greenguard.His banner is a flying raven with black wings in a stormy green sky.But what worries the whole city the most are those pale yellow flags, with long flag tassels trailing behind, swaying like flames, and where the family crest should have been, there is a symbol of God: the flaming red heart of the Lord of Light.

"They say that when Stannis comes to the castle, he will have ten times as many men as Joffrey." Dontos squeezed her shoulder. "Honey, the number of troops is not important. They are on the other side of the river, and they can't get across without a boat." "But he has ships, and more than Joffrey." "Storm's End is a long way from here. The fleet needs to pass through Cape Marseille, pass through the Throat, and enter the Blackwater Bay. Maybe the Gods of Righteousness will whip up a storm and wipe them all away." Dontos smiled hopefully. "I know it's hard for you, but boy, be patient. We'll have a boat when my friend gets back to the capital. Don't be afraid, trust your Florian."

Sansa's nails dug deep into her palms, and fear writhed and twitched in her stomach, growing stronger every day.The experience of the day Princess Myrcella left has been entangled in her dreams. The nightmare was dark and suffocating, which made her often wake up in the middle of the night, panting desperately.The screams of the crowd lingered in the ears, without words, like the screams of animals.They surrounded her, threw all kinds of things at her, and tried to pull her off the horse. If the hounds hadn't killed a bloody path to save her, the consequences would have been disastrous.Just think, they tore the High Septon to pieces and stoned Ser Allan's head.Don't be afraid!He actually told me not to be afraid!

In fact, the whole city was in panic.Sansa saw on the castle wall that the people all closed their windows and bolted their doors, as if they could save their lives.The last time the city of King's Landing fell, the Lannister family raped and looted wantonly and took hundreds of lives. That time, Kaesong surrendered.Now that the little devil intends to resist, one can imagine what will happen after the city is broken. Dontos was still chattering. "If I were a knight, I'd put on my armor and stand with the others. I should kiss King Joffrey's feet and thank him with all my heart."

"You thank him for making you a jester, and he'll make you a knight again," Sansa said sharply. Dontos chuckled and said, "My Qiongqi is a clever girl, isn't she?" "Joffrey and his mother say I'm stupid." "It's good for them to think so, my dear, so that you are safer. Queen Cersei, the little devil and Varys think of each other as vipers and beasts, watching each other like eagles, paying people to snoop around, But Countess Tanda's daughter is no one to bother with, right?" Dontos covered his mouth and hiccupped. "Gods bless you, my little Qiongqi." His tears welled up from the wine. "Give your Florian a little kiss. A lucky kiss." He wobbled closer to her.

Sansa avoided his protruding wet lips, kissed him lightly on the bearded cheek, and said good night, trying not to cry.She's been crying too much lately.It was disgraceful, she knew, but she just couldn't help it.Sometimes because of some trifles, tears will fall, and I can't hold it back. The drawbridge of Maegor's Tower was unguarded.The imp transferred most of the gold robes to defend the city, and the white robes of the Kingsguard were too busy to follow her every step of the way.Sansa could go wherever she wanted as long as she didn't leave the castle, but she didn't want to go anywhere. She walked through the dry moat covered with sharp iron thorns, walked up the narrow elevated stairs, and when she reached the door of the bedroom, she didn't want to go in.The walls of the room smothered her, and even though the windows inside were wide open, she still felt the air thin. So Sansa turned back to the stairs and continued climbing.Thick smoke obscured the stars and a slender crescent moon, and the top of the castle was black and full of shadows.But from here, you can see the whole city: the towering towers and huge corner forts of the Red Keep, the maze of city streets below, the rushing black water to the west and south, the bay to the east, and the clumps of Pillars of smoke and ash, fire, fire everywhere.Nearby, soldiers carrying torches scrambled like ants across the walls and towers that jutted out from the battlements.Under the Mud Gate, the outlines of three catapults could be vaguely discerned in the floating smoke and dust. This was an unprecedented giant catapult, which was a full twenty feet higher than the city wall.But none of this allayed her fears.A sharp sting suddenly hit, and Sansa clutched her stomach tightly, tears welling up in her eyes.She almost fell, but fortunately a shadow suddenly flashed out and clasped her arm tightly with strong hands to stabilize her. She clawed frantically at the battlements for support, her fingers scratching at the rough rock. "Let me go," she yelled. "open!" "Little bird thinks he really has wings, doesn't he? Or do he want to be crippled like your brother?" Sansa tried to break free from his grasp. "I'm not going to fall. I'm just... startled by you, that's all." "Did I scare you? Did I scare you?" She took a deep breath to stabilize her mind. "I thought it was just me, I..." She glanced away. "Forget it, little bird, you still don't dare to look me in the eye, do you?" The Hound let her go. "Hehe, it's nice to see my face when you're surrounded by mobs, remember?" Sansa remembered all this clearly.She remembered their roars, the blood running down her cheeks from the stone-shattered forehead, the pungent garlic smell from the mouth of the man who tried to pull her off his horse.She could still feel those cold fingers pinching her wrist, making her lose her balance and wobble. She thought she was going to die, but suddenly the hand twitched, all five fingers twitched together, and the owner of the hand screamed like a horse.Arms fell to the ground, one hand, and a stronger hand pushed her back into the saddle.The man who smelled of garlic fell to the ground, bleeding profusely from his severed arm, but there were many other people around, some even holding sticks.The hounds rode their horses to meet them, and the long sword danced into a steel phantom. Blood and flesh flew everywhere they passed, and people fled in all directions.He was invincible, looking up to the sky with a long smile, and the terrible burnt face seemed to be transformed in an instant. Now, she forced herself to look at that face again, really look at it.This is politeness, and a lady must remember to be polite anytime and anywhere.It wasn't the scars, or even the way his lips twitched, that was the scariest thing, but his eyes.She had never seen such angry eyes. "I...I thought I should go to you afterwards," she stammered, "thank you in person, because...because you saved my life...you were so brave." "Brave?" His laugh sounded like a growl. "What kind of courage does a dog have to chase a mouse? Thirty of them confronted me, but none of them dared to look me in the eye." She hated the way he spoke, always so harsh and so angry. "Do you find it pleasant to frighten the common people?" "No, killing makes me happy." His mouth twitched again. "You can wrinkle your face all you like, but don't pretend to be pious in front of me. You come from a family, don't tell me that Duke Eddard Stark has never killed anyone?" "He was just fulfilling his duties, he didn't like it." "He told you that?" Clegane laughed again. "It seems your father is either a liar or a fool. Killing is the best thing in the world." He drew his sword. "This is the truth. Your lord father must have experienced it in front of the Great Sept of Baelor. Look, the Duke of Winterfell, the Hand of the King, the Guardian of the North, the great Eddard. Stark, eight thousand years of inheritance A long-standing bloodline... was beheaded by Ilyn Payne, didn't he? Do you remember that when the head fell to the ground, his body was still dancing and convulsing?" Sansa felt a sudden chill and hugged herself. "Why are you always so annoying? I'm thanking you..." "That's right, you think of me as one of those 'real knights' you like. Come on, little sister, what do you think a knight is for? Wearing gold armor all day long, trying to win the hearts of ladies? I tell you, the only knight The use is that I was born to kill." He pressed the blade of the long sword to her neck, just below the ear, and she could feel its sharpness. "I started killing people when I was twelve years old. So far, there are countless ghosts under the knife. Regardless of the rich and powerful families with a long history, fat and rich men in velvet, high-spirited noble knights, yes, there are also women and children—— Men are fish, I am swords. They can have land, gods, and money! They can call 'Sir' to each other!" Sandor Clegane spat at her feet in disdain. "That's all I want," he said, lifting the sword from her throat. "With it, I'm afraid of nothing in the world." Except your brother, Sansa thought, but she kept her emotions in check.It seemed that he was, as he said, really a dog, a mad dog with a bad temper, who would be bitten if anyone tried to touch him, and would fight desperately with anyone who wanted to hurt his master. "Aren't you afraid of those people on the other side of the river?" Clegane turned to look at the distant flames. "Fire," he sheathed his sword. "Fire is a coward's weapon." "Lord Stannis is no coward." "Not quite like his brother, though. A little river won't trouble Robert." "What will you do if he crosses the river?" "Fight. Kill. Maybe get killed." "Aren't you afraid? You have committed so many sins. After you die, you may be punished by the gods to the seven hells." "Where is the sin?" he laughed. "Where are the gods?" "The gods made us all." "Everyone?" he laughed mockingly. "Then tell me, little bird, what kind of god would create a monster like the little devil? What kind of god would tolerate the mental retardation of Countess Tanda's daughter? If there are gods in this world, they just create sheep To keep the wolf from starving, to create the weak to be fooled by the strong." "A true knight protects the weak." He scoffed. "The real knight, like the gods, does not exist. He lives in the world. If he cannot defend himself, he will die and must make way for others. Swords and power rule the world. Don't believe other words." Sansa staggered back from him. "You are scary!" "I'm very honest, the horror is this world. Well, fly, little bird, you dare not face me, and I can't stand your peeking." She ran away without a word.She was afraid of Sandor Clegane... yet, in her heart, she couldn't help wishing that Ser Dontos had a little bit of the hound's ruthlessness.Gods exist, she told herself, and so do true knights.All stories are not lies. That night, Sansa dreams of the riot again.The mob swarmed her, screaming like a mad beast with a thousand faces.No matter where she turned, there were distorted faces in front of her eyes, as if wearing the masks of ferocious monsters.She cried and told them she was a good girl, but they pulled her off her horse anyway. "No," she shouted, "no, please, please don't, please don't!" No one paid any attention.She called aloud to Ser Dontos, to her brother, to her dead father and the direwolf, to the valiant Ser Loras who had given her a red rose, but no one came to her rescue.She called to the heroes of the ballad, to Florian the Fool, and Ser Ryan Redwyne, and Prince Aemon the Dragonknight, but they could not hear her.The women came forward like weasels, surrounded her, pinched her legs, kicked her in the stomach, and others punched her in the face, and her teeth were broken.Then there was the gleam of steel, and the dagger stabbed into her stomach, knife after knife, until she was shattered to pieces, leaving only strands of wet, shiny flesh. she woke up.The pale morning light slanted through the window, but she only felt sick and aching, as if she hadn't slept all night.There was something sticky between the thighs, and when I lifted the blanket, it turned out to be blood.For a moment, all she could think of was a nightmare come true.She still remembers the feeling of the knife twisting and tearing inside her.So she moved in fear, tried to kick the sheets but rolled to the floor, naked, panting, bleeding from her lower body, full of fear. But when she curled up on the ground, she suddenly understood. "Don't, don't," Sansa whimpered, "please, don't." She didn't want this change in herself, not now, not here, not now, not now, not now, not now ! Madness seized her, and she stood up against the bedposts and went to the sink to wash her thighs, wiping the stickiness off.The legs were clean, but the water turned pink.The maid will find it as soon as she enters the door.Then she thought of the sheets, and rushed back to the bed, staring in horror at the dark red stain where all her secrets were clearly laid out.what to do?what to do?It must be disposed of before others see it, otherwise it will be too late.She doesn't want to be forced to marry Joffrey, she doesn't want to sleep with him! Sansa grabbed the dagger and cut the sheet, digging out the stain.What should I say when they ask about the hole?Hot tears rolled down his face.She tore off the torn sheet and found blood on the blanket too.I burn them all.She gathered the evidence into a ball, stuffed it into the fireplace, moistened it with oil from the oil lamp beside her bed, and set it on fire.Then she realized the blood had seeped all the way through the sheets and into the feather mattress, so she brought the mattress too.It was so big and heavy that it was hard to move, and Sansa managed to get half of it into the fire.Just as she was on her knees, desperately pushing the mattress into the flames, as thick gray smoke swirled around and filled the room, the door swung open and she heard the maid gasp. In the end, the three of them worked together to drag her away.Everything before was in vain.Although the sheets had been burned, when she was dragged away, her thighs were stained with blood again.She seemed to use her body to unfurl the crimson banner of the Lannister family to the world, clearly betraying herself to Joffrey. After the fire was extinguished, they carried away the blackened feather mattresses, cleared the smoke from the house, and brought in the tub.Women came and went, whispering, all looking at her strangely.They filled the tub with scalding hot water, showered her head, and wrapped her with a cloth between her legs.At this point Sansa had calmed down, and couldn't help feeling ashamed of her folly.The smoke ruined most of the clothes.One of the women went out and brought back a green wool dress that pretty much fit her. "It's not as pretty as your own, but it's doable," she said, slipping it off Sansa's head. "Your shoes are still intact, at least you don't have to go barefoot to see the Queen Mother." Sansa was having breakfast when she was brought into Cersei Lannister's study. "Sit down," the queen mother said kindly, "are you hungry?" She pointed to the table, which had porridge, honey, milk, boiled eggs and crispy fried fish. She felt like throwing up at the sight of food, as if she had a knot in her stomach. "I'm not hungry, thank you, Your Majesty." "Well, our Tyrion and Lord Stannis are making everything taste like ashes. But you're starting a fire too, what do you want?" Sansa looked down. "The blood scares me." "Blood is the sign of you being a woman. Mrs. Caitlin should have told you to prepare yourself. Your menarche is coming, that's all." Sansa had never felt so short of words. "My lord mother warned me, but I... I thought it was not like this." "What's that like?" "I don't know. It shouldn't be so... messy, it should be more magical." Queen Cersei couldn't help laughing. "When you have a baby, Sansa, you'll understand. A woman's life is nine parts messy and one part magical, and you'll soon find out...and the superficially magical parts are often the messiest." She took a sip of her milk . "So, you are a woman now, do you have any idea what this means?" "It means I'm fit to share a bed," Sansa said, "and bear a child for a king." The queen smiled wryly, "You don't look forward to this as much as you used to, I can see that, and I can't blame you. Joffrey has never been very obedient, even his birth... I worked hard for a day and a half to give birth to him." Come out. You cannot imagine the pain, Sansa, and I screamed so loudly that Robert could have heard it in the Kingswood." "His Majesty the King is not with you?" "Robert? Robert was hunting. It was customary, and whenever I was due, my husband fled into the woods with the hunter and the dogs. When he came back, he gave me a pile of furs or a stag's head." , and I will give him a child." "I remind you, I don't want him to stay. I have Grand Maester Pycelle and midwives enough to form an army, and my brother. They won't let Jaime into the delivery room. Who dares to stop him?" he asked with a smile. " "I'm afraid Joffrey wouldn't have loved you so much. You should thank your sister for that--if she was alive. He will never forget how she humiliated him in your presence at the Trident, and he will." Humiliated you as revenge. You're stronger than you look, though, and I guess you can handle a little bit of shame. Look, don't I make it? You may never love the king, but you will love him child." "I love His Majesty the King with all my heart," Sansa said. The Queen Mother sighed. "You'd better learn to lie, and fast. Lord Stannis won't like that, I promise you." "The new High Septon says the gods are against Lord Stannis, because Joffrey is the real king." A strange smile flashed across the Queen Mother's face, "He is Robert's blood son and heir, but every time Robert picks him up, he will cry, which makes His Majesty very disliked. Not only are his bastards always happy to treat him Giggling, and sucking with glee when he put his fingers in those mean little mouths. Robert was always hungry for fun and smiles, he always was, and he went where he could find them, so went to him and his whore. Robert wants to be loved. My brother Tyrion has the same problem. Do you want to be loved, Sansa?" "Everyone wants to be loved." "Looks like menarche didn't make you wiser," Cersei said. "Sansa, allow me to share with you some wisdom about being a woman on this special day. Love is poison. Although it is sweet, it can still kill."