Chapter 61 Chapter 60 Tyrion

The new crown given to the archbishop by his father was made of gold thread and crystal, twice as high as the one smashed by the mob, and it shone with rainbow light when he moved it a little.Tyrion wondered how the thin High Septon would support its weight.The other party was presiding over the marriage vows between Joffrey and Margaery, and the king and his fiancée stood in front of the tall gilded statues of the Father and the Mother, like a pair of walled people. The bride wears an ivory silk dress and a Myrtle lace skirt, and countless small pearls on the skirt form various flowers, which looks very lovely.As Renly's widow, she should have worn the gold and black of the Baratheons, but chose the colors of the Tyrells to show purity.The bridal cloak is made of green velvet embroidered with a hundred gold roses.Tyrion wondered if she was still a virgin.Joffrey didn't know anyway.

The king looked equally imposing, in his dusky rose tunic, a deep crimson velvet cloak adorned with stags and lions, and a diadem of two golds mingled handsomely over his curly hair.I saved the shit for you.Tyrion kept shifting the weight of his feet, feeling his mind wandering.Drink too much.He planned to anesthetize himself before leaving the Red Castle, but the night of fun with Shae made him even more exhausted.The most important thing is that at this moment, he has the urge to jump up and strangle this damned nephew. I know Valyrian weapons well enough, the boy boasted.Don't the septons always say that the Father judges everyone justly? Well, if he can crush Joffrey like a beetle, I'll give the rest of my life to the sept.

I should have thought that Jaime would never send someone to kill for him, that the cunning Cersei would never leave a clue of the dagger, only little Joe, only this arrogant, evil, stupid bastard... He remembered the cold morning at Winterfell when he came down the steep spiral staircase of the Library Tower to find Prince Joffrey and the Hound discussing killing wolves.Tell the dog to kill the dog, he said.But Joffrey would never be so stupid as to order Sandor Clegane to kill Eddard Stark's son, because the Hound would tell Cersei exactly what happened.So the kid must have turned to the group of freeriders, businessmen, and peddlers who had followed the royal convoy since its departure in search of a dirty killer.I don't know which mentally handicapped person is willing to exchange his life for the favor of the prince and some coins.Tyrion wondered who was planning to wait until after Robert left Winterfell.Probably Joffrey himself, who would take this as the most ingenious plot.

I vaguely remember the Dauphin's own dagger with a jeweled pommel and a gold thread on the blade.At least he wasn't stupid enough to use this knife, but used a weapon from his father's collection.Robert Baratheon was extremely generous, and he would give his son anything he wanted...but Tyrion thought Joffrey took it privately.When they went to Winterfell, they not only followed a large group of knights and followers, but also the Great Wheel Palace and a long train. There must be someone specially assigned to take care of the king's weapons in case of emergencies. The knife Joffrey had chosen was sharp and useful.It had no gold trim, no jeweled hilt, no silver inlays, and was plain in appearance.Never used by King Robert, it lay in forgotten corners, yet deadly Valyrian steel itself...sliced ​​through skin, flesh, and throat with ease.You see, I know the goods.Irony, boy, but you really don't know the goods! Otherwise, why would you choose Littlefinger's knife?

But why did he kill? Could it be that he was cruel by nature? In this regard, the nephew was at the pinnacle.Tyrion tried so hard not to spit out his drink or pee his pants.He squirmed restlessly.I should have shut up at the breakfast meeting, now that the kid knows I know the truth, oh, this big mouth is going to get me killed sooner or later. The king and his wife made seven wedding vows, received seven blessings, exchanged seven promises, and then the hymns were sung, and when no one stepped forward to challenge the challenge, it was time to change the cloak.Tyrion shifted his weight from one short leg to the other, trying to see between his father and Uncle Kevan.If the gods have eyes, Xiao Qiao should be made to make a fool of himself in public.He dared not look at Sansa, dared not let his lady see the bitterness in his eyes.You should have knelt down, damn it, bend those stiff Stark knees, damn, how hard is it to save me even a little bit of self-respect?

Mace Tyrell gently removed his daughter's bridal cloak, while Joffrey took the groom's cloak from his brother Tommen and shook it off with the most dramatic flourish.Although the king was only thirteen years old, he was already as tall as the sixteen-year-old bride. He didn't need to stand on the jester's back to fasten the cloak for him.In contrast, Xiao Qiao wrapped Margaery in red and gold velvet material, leaned forward, and tied it tightly around her throat, expressing that from now on, she would replace her father-in-law to protect Margaery forever.Hmph, who will protect her from him? Tyrion glanced at the Knight of Flowers standing among the Kingsguard.Keep your sword ready, Ser Loras.

"Give my love with this kiss!" Joffrey declared crisply, and when Margaery responded, the king pulled her close and kissed her long and deep.The diadem once again burst into rainbow light, and the archbishop solemnly declared that Baratheon and Joffrey of House Lannister and Margaery of House Tyrell would be one body, one mind, and one soul. Hell, it's finally over.I can finally fucking go back to the castle and use the bathroom. Ser Loras and Ser Marin, who were wearing white scale armor and a snow-white cloak, led the way and led the procession away from the sanctuary.The king and his wife followed closely, and Prince Tommen scattered rose petals for them with a basket.Next came Queen Cersei and Duke Tyrell; Lady Tyrell, who was holding Duke Tywin tight; the Queen of Thorns staggered to the fifth with Ser Kevan Lannister in one hand and a cane in the other, with two twin guards close protection; the sixth pair was Ser Garlan Tyrell and his wife, and then it was Tyrion's turn.

"Ma'am." He held out his arm to Sansa.She took it dutifully, but he could feel her stiffness as he walked up the aisle.Besides, she never looked down at him. Before reaching the door, Tyrion heard the cheers outside.The crowd loved Margaery so much that they were willing to give Joffrey another chance.After all, she had belonged to Renly, to the handsome Third Brother, to the hero who had come even from the grave to save them.Besides, she brought a wealthy Highgarden with her, and food and supplies have been pouring into the capital from the Rose Road recently.Fools choose to forget that it was Mace Tyrell who blocked the southern borders and caused this damned famine.

The couple walked into the cold autumn day together. "Thought we'd never escape," Tyrion said with a pun. Sansa had no choice but to look at her husband for the first time. "I... yes, my lord, you are right." She looked lonely, "What a spectacular ceremony." We are not. "The ceremony was long, that's all. I just want to go back to the castle and take a good piss." Tyrion rubbed his nose. "I would have found an errand and left the capital if I knew it. Littlefinger is so smart." Joffrey and Margaery stood on the steps facing the vast marble square, surrounded by white knights, Ser Adam led the gold cloaks to separate the crowd, and the statue of King Baelor looked after everyone kindly.Tyrion had no choice but to lead Sansa to congratulate her one by one.He kissed Margaery's finger, wishing her long-lasting happiness.Thankfully, the queue was so long that there was very little time left for everyone.

The sedan chair was placed under the bright sun, and the inside was already very hot.Once in the palanquin, Tyrion propped his elbows, while Sansa continued to stare at her folded hands.She was as beautiful as the Pearl of Tyrell.Her hair is auburn in autumn, her eyes are Tully's dark blue, and her sadness makes her haggard and lonely, but it also makes her more lovely.At this moment, all he wanted to do was step forward to hug and undo the armor of politeness.Is that why he spoke? Or was it just to soothe a swollen bladder? "Let's travel to Casterly Rock when the roads are clear and safe." Stay away from Joffrey and my sister.The more he thought about Joffrey's treatment of The Four Kings this morning, the more uneasy he felt.Oh yes, there are unmistakable signals in this. "I'm honored to show you the Golden Corridor and the Lion's Mouth, and the Hall of Heroes where James and I played since we were young. When the tide comes, thunder comes from the ground..."

Sansa looked up slowly, and he saw the reflection in her eyes: a bulging forehead, a broken nose, a weird pink scar, and eyes of different sizes.Her eyes were scattered, empty and cold, "Wherever my husband wants to go, I will go there." "I wanted to amuse you, ma'am." "My husband is happy, so I am happy." His mouth tightened.You poor little devil, you think Lion's Mouth will make her laugh? Enough! You can't make any woman laugh but with money!" Well, that's a stupid idea, Lannisters only like stones. " "Yes, my lord, as you wish." The people chanted King Joffrey's name.In three years' time, the cruel child will be a grown man, to sit in court... and any dwarf with half my insight will be far from King's Landing.Where should I go? Oldtown? The Free Cities? He longed to visit the titans of Braavos.Maybe the giant would make Sansa happy? So he spoke again, and mentioned Braavos softly, only to run into the same wall of dry politeness, cold and unshakable, like a dead end in the north. Great Wall.He was tired, tired, and didn't want to talk anymore. The couple sat in the sedan chair in silence and completed the final journey.All Tyrion wanted was for the other to say something, anything, just one word, one word, but she said nothing in the end.After stopping the sedan chair in the castle courtyard, he called the groom to help her off the sedan chair. "In an hour, I have to go to the wedding banquet, ma'am, I'll be right back." He walked away with stiff steps, and across the yard, Joffrey carried Margaery off the saddle, and the girl let out a gasping gasp. laugh.Someday the kid will be as big and strong as James, he thought, and I'll always be a dwarf at his feet.Maybe he wanted me to be shorter... Tyrion found the toilet and pulled out his morning drink, sighing in relief.At this time, peeing is better than fucking a woman.If only my own doubts and guilt could be released so easily. Podrick Payne was waiting outside the bedroom. "I put your coat on, not here, on your bed, on the bed in the bedroom." "That's right, the bedroom, where the bed is placed." Sansa must be changing her banquet clothes inside.And Shae. "Go get the drink, Pod." He sat down to drink in the window seat and surveyed the mess in the kitchen below.The sun has not yet reached the top of the city wall, but the smell of baked bread and roast meat is already wafting around.The guests will soon be pouring into the Throne Room, and there is no doubt that it will be a night of song and splendor, representing the union of Highgarden and Casterly Rock, displaying the wealth and power of the Great League, and deterring the lords of the whole country to submit to Joe. King of Foley. With Stannis Baratheon and Robb Stark in sight, who would dare rebel against Joffrey's rule? There is still war in the riverlands, but the sparks are dying everywhere.Ser Gregor Clegane crossed the Trident, took the Ruby Fork, and took Harrenhal back without difficulty.Seagard surrendered to Black Walder Frey, and Lord Randyll Tarly's army took Maidenpool, Duskendale, and the Kingsroad south of the Trident.In the west, Ser Davon Lannister was advancing on Riverrun after he joined Ser Forer Prester of the Golden Tooth, while Ser Ryman Frey marched south from the Twins with two thousand foot to reinforce them.Lord Paxter Redwyne assured him that his fleet would soon set sail from the Arbor, on the long journey round Dorne, across the Stepstones, and on to Dragonstone.This fleet outnumbered Stannis's Lys corsairs ten to one.In fact, this struggle, which the scholars called the "War of the Five Kings", ended prematurely.It was even heard that Mace Tyrell complained to Lord Tywin that he was not left with the chance of victory and glory. "My lord," Pod unconsciously came to him, "change your clothes? I put your coat on your bed for the banquet." "A feast," Tyrion replied sourly, "what feast?" "The wedding feast," said Pod, of course, without catching the sarcasm in his tone. "The wedding feast of King Joffrey and Lady Margaery. I mean, Queen Margaery." Tyrion made up his mind that he would not return home drunk tonight, "Come on, Podrick boy, dress me up for a banquet." Walking into the bedroom, I saw Xue Yi combing his wife's hair.Joy and sorrow, these two people standing together is a wonderful contrast, laughter and tears.Sansa wore a gown of silver satin trimmed with squirrel fur and long sleeves with lavender whiskers that almost reached the floor, and Shae covered her with a delicate silver hairnet studded with deep purple gemstones.This scene made the husband intoxicated. Tyrion had never seen her so lovely, but the long satin sleeves contained endless sadness. "Lady Sansa," he began, "you will be the most beautiful woman tonight." "My lord's praise." "Ma'am," pleaded Shae, in a tone full of longing, "may I serve you at the table? I have never seen a dove flying out of a pie." Sansa looked at the maid hesitantly, "But the queen herself chooses all the servants." "And the hall is too crowded," Tyrion tried to suppress his displeasure. "Forget it, there will be musicians playing all over the castle, and tables will be set up in the outer courtyard, full of food and drink." He looked at his new The coat, a crimson velvet garment, is padded at the shoulders, while the puffed sleeves are open to reveal the black satin lining underneath.Sure enough, it's beautiful, but it's a pity that there are no beautiful people to wear it. "Come on, Pod, help me put it on." He drank a glass of wine as he dressed, and left the Kitchen Castle with his wife on his arm to join the river of silk, satin, and velvet that flowed into the Throne Room.Many guests have already entered the hall to find seats, while others gather in front of the gate to enjoy the rare autumn warmth.Tyrion leads Sansa around the yard, doing the necessary courtesy. She is indeed a good girl who is well-behaved and courteous. Watching Sansa praise Earl Gyles for improving his cough, compliment Erlo Tyrell's dress, and ask Jalabah Thor about the wedding customs of the Midsummer Islands, Tyrion couldn't help but feel heartbroken. think.His cousin, Sir Lancel, also came to the banquet with the support of Uncle Kevan. This was the first time he had been out of his hospital bed since the Battle of the Blackwater.He looks like a ghost.Lancel was gray and brittle, and as thin as a stick, would have collapsed at any moment if not for his father's help.But when Sansa praised his bravery and sincerely wished him good health, the father and son suddenly glowed.She would have been a good queen and wife to Joffrey, had he been capable of loving her.Tyrion suspects that his nephew is incapable of loving anyone at all. "You look very graceful and charming, child," said Lady Olenna Tyrell, hobbling closer, her gold silk dress appearing to be heavier than the old lady herself. "The only catch is that the wind has tousled her hair a little." The little old woman smoothed Sansa's stray strands, put them back in place, and adjusted the net. "I'm sorry for your lost loved ones," she continued to tease casually. "Yes, your brother was a great traitor, but we're going to get down to killing people at wedding feasts. There's no cure. Oh, it's a lot of trouble." Lady Olenna smiled. "I am pleased to inform you, child, that I am leaving for Highgarden the day after tomorrow. If truth be told, I have had enough of this stinking city. While the men are away from home to fight, you Would you like to accompany me on a small visit? I will miss Margery and her lovely companions very much, and it would be a pleasure to have you by my side." "Thank you for your kindness, ma'am," Sansa said, "but I must accompany my lord." Olenna showed a wrinkled toothless smile to Tyrion, "Oh? Please forgive the ignorant old woman, my lord, I didn't mean to abduct your lovely wife. Don't you lead the Lannister army to fight against evil enemy of the "My army is golden dragon and silver deer. The Minister of Finance must stay in the court and take care of it, so that the soldiers can fight with peace of mind." "Of course, of course, gold dragons and silver stags, and dwarf coins. I've heard of these dwarf coins, and there's no doubt that confining them is tedious work." "I make plans and guidelines, regardless of restraint, madam." "Oh, did you? I thought you'd do everything yourself. After all, the royal family can't be cheated on a dwarf's coin, can you?" "That would be unreasonable," Tyrion began to think that Lord Rose Tyrell jumped off the cliff on purpose, "forgive me, Lady Olenna, it's time for us and my wife to take their seats." "I'm about to go in, too. My God, seventy-seven courses, isn't that a bit extravagant, my lord? I can only try three or four courses at most, oh, you and I are unlucky for small people, you say Right?" She stroked Sansa's hair again. "Now, go, boy, be happy. Where's my guard? Where's my guard? Left hand! Right hand! Help me up the ledge." There was still an hour before dusk, but the throne room was brightly lit, and the torches on every ledge were lit.The guests who have arrived stand behind the long table, and the lords and ladies who are entering the door are notified of their names and titles in turn by the herald, and then they are escorted through the wide central aisle by the bartenders in royal costumes.The auditorium was full of musicians, with drummers, flute players, and fiddlers, and others with horns, harps, and bagpipes. Tyrion took Sansa's arm tightly and staggered forward.He could feel people looking at the new scar on his nose that made him even uglier.Let them see, he thought, jumping up on the chair, let them see and talk until they've said enough, I won't hide it for them.The Queen of Thorns shuffled and followed behind with small steps. He didn't know whether it was his match with Sansa, or the skinny old woman sandwiched between two seven-foot twin guards looked more ridiculous. Joffrey and Margaery rode into the hall on matching pure white steeds.The bartenders ran ahead, scattering countless rose petals.The king and queen also changed their attire for the banquet.Little Jo wore black and crimson striped breeches, and a gold-thread bodice with black silk sleeves and onyx buttons; Margaery took off her modest wedding dress and put on a pale green brocade dress, with a bodice that exposed her shoulders and small breasts the upper half of .Her soft brown hair hung down her white shoulders and fell to her waist, and a slender golden crown was worn on her forehead.The Queen's smile was shy and sweet.She is a sweet child, Tyrion thought, and my nephew does not deserve her. The Kingsguard escorted the king and his wife up to the dais, where they sat in honor in the shadow of the Iron Throne, before which hung a row of silk banners, gold of Baratheon and scarlet of Lannister and green of Tyrell.Cersei embraces Margaery and kisses her future daughter-in-law on the cheek.Then Lord Tywin, Ser Kevan, and Ser Lancel stepped forward to salute.Joffrey accepted kisses from his father-in-law and his two new brothers, Loras and Garland.Not when I was married, Tyrion thought.After the king and queen were seated, the archbishop led the prayers.I have eyes, at least the man's voice is not as sleepy as his predecessor's, Tyrion consoled himself. He and Sansa sat at the king's right, next to Ser Garlan Tyrell and his wife, Lady Lyonne, and six or seven seats away from Joffrey.As a core member of the Lannister family and the former acting Prime Minister, this is supposed to be an insult, but Tyrion is not enough, and he hopes to stay as far away as possible. "Fill the glass!" Joffrey announced eagerly when the prayers were finished.His waiter hurried forward and poured a whole jug of dark red wine from Qingting Island into the golden cup presented by Duke Tyrell in the early morning. The king held it up with both hands, "To my wife, Your Majesty the Queen!" "Long live Margaery!" The whole hall shouted in response, "Long live Margaery! Long live Margaery! To Your Majesty the Queen!" A thousand cups clanged at the same time, announcing the official start of the wedding banquet.Tyrion Lannister drank the first glass like everyone else, and asked someone to refill it when he sat down. The first meal is a puree of mushrooms and buttered snails served in gilded bowls.Having barely eaten breakfast, and the alcohol already seeping into his limbs, Tyrion gorged himself on it, and quickly cleaned it all up.After finishing one, there are seventy-six more.Children starve to death every day in the city, and civilians fight each other for a radish, but here we enjoy the endless seventy-seven dishes.If the common people were allowed to come into the hall and have a look, they wouldn't like Tyrell any more. Sansa took a sip of the soup, then pushed the bowl away. "Is it not good, my lady?" Tyrion asked. "There's still a lot of food, my lord. I have a small appetite to eat." She stroked her hairnet nervously, then looked towards the seats where King Joffrey and Queen Tyrell sat. Could it be that she wanted to replace Margaery? Tyrion frowned. Three-year-olds shouldn't think so.He looked away distractedly, and only saw all kinds of women in his eyes, beautiful, gentle and beautiful women, who belonged to other men.Margaery smiled sweetly, and shared the seven-sided golden cup with Joffrey; her beautiful mother, Lady Allerly, with her long silver braids, stood majestically beside Mace Tyrell; Cousin like a merry bird; Lord Marilyweath's dark-haired Myr wife's great black eyes glowed with boundless passion; One seat, but the farthest place in the hall from Tyrell's house), Ellaria Sand was laughing coquettishly at the Red Viper's words. A woman sitting at the end of the third table to the king's left caught his attention... She seemed to be the wife of some Fossoway family, and her pregnancy was pregnant, but her natural delicacy was not affected. And the enjoyment of food and laughter.Tyrion watched her husband feed her from his own plate, and they shared a goblet, kissing frequently without realizing it.Every time they kiss, the husband's hand will be gently placed on the wife's belly, thinking of comfort and protection. I don't know how she will react by leaning over to kiss Sansa.Mostly dodge it.Or muster up the courage to endure it, and consider it her responsibility.She is my wife, yet has nothing but responsibilities.Even if I said that I would open her buds tonight, she would dutifully agree, not even shedding a single tear. He sighed and called for more wine.After the wine glass was filled, the second big meal was served - cakes with pork, pine nuts and eggs.Sansa took only a small bite, and the heralds declared the first of seven singers. The greybearded "harpist" Hamisi said first, "Gods and men testify that this song to be performed is a song of nature that has never been played in the Seven Kingdoms." He called it "Lord Basket Ritual Audience". The singer's fingers brushed the strings of the harp, and the throne room was filled with sweet melodies. "On the throne of bones, death looked at the murdered brother..." Hamisi began to sing, and the lyrics told Renly that he regretted taking the crown of his nephew, so he refused the call of death, and returned to the world to fight against his own. Second brother, to defend the kingdom. Simon the Silver Tongue was turned into brown soup for this absurdity, Tyrion thought with amusement.At the end of the song, when the singer talked about the brave Lord Renly, who rode thousands of miles to Highgarden alone to see his true love for the last time, Queen Margaery was moved to tears. "Renly Baratheon never regretted anything in his life," the imp told Sansa, "but if I were the judge, I would give Hamisi the gilt silver harp." "Pianist" also performed some familiar songs for everyone.Undoubtedly, "The Golden Rose" glorified the Tyrells; "The Rains of Castamere" flattered his father; It burns the romantic fire in the chests of boys and girls.Tyrion listened half-heartedly as he ate sweetcorn crumbs, oatbread baked with chopped dates, apples and oranges, and boar ribs. Then, the dishes came faster and faster, the performances became more varied, and he kept asking for ale and wine.After Hamisi left, a short old bear danced awkwardly to the sound of flutes and drums, while the guests ate boiled trout wrapped in chopped almonds.Moonboys on stilts chased Lord Tyrell's ludicrously fat jester buttercakes between dinners, and lords' wives ate baked heron and onion and cheese pie.A Pentos acrobatic troupe somersaults or walks upside down, balances on a plate with one foot, and forms the Great Pyramid together.Accompanying the show were crab poached in tangy oriental spices, chunks of lamb chops braised in almond milk with carrots, raisins and onions, and freshly baked fishcakes, scalding hot to the touch. Then the heralds called for the next singer, Corrillo Quintintis the Tyroshi, who had a scarlet beard and an accent as ridiculous as Simon had said.Corrillo began by performing "A Dance with the Dragon"—a song usually sung by a man and a woman.Tyrion listened as he ate two portions of honey quail and downed some wine.The ballad that Corillo sang next, about the life and death of two lovers in Valyria in the catastrophe of the doomsday, was very vivid. Unfortunately, it was in High Valyrian, and most of the nobles present could not understand it. In "Bertha the Pub Girl," she wins back hearts with her bawdy tunes.The unplucked peacock was served, baked whole and stuffed with dates.Corrillo summoned a drummer, bowed deeply before Lord Tywin, and sang "The Rains of Castamere." Gosh, if I had to listen to seven versions of "Rainy Season", I'd really like to go to the flea nest and apologize to the pot of brown soup.Tyrion turned to his lady. "Which do you prefer?" Sansa blinked, "My lord?" "Singer, which singer do you like?" "I... I'm sorry, I didn't listen." She didn't eat either. "Sansa, are you feeling well?" He asked without thinking, and he felt stupid as soon as he said it. Her relatives were all killed, and she was forced to marry me to participate in such a farce, and I asked her if she was comfortable. . "I am all right, my lord." She turned her head away, pretending to watch Moonboy hurl dates at Ser Dontos. The four master pyromancers summoned four fiery beasts to attack each other with their fiery claws, while servants served bowls of light food, including beef soup and chunks of chicken stewed with boiling wine, honey, and white almonds.Then several bagpipers, pet dogs and sword-swallowing artists entered the hall to perform separately.Accompanied by buttered peas, mashed nuts and swan poached with saffron and peaches. "No swan meat," muttered Tyrion, remembering the supper he had had with his sister before the final battle.A certain juggler twirled three long swords and three axes at the same time, and the blood sausage skewered on the spit sizzled on the table.Tyrion thought the order of serving was a matter of decorum, though he did not like the dish. The heralds blew their trumpets again. "The contest for the Gilded Harp," one of them announced loudly, "Gleon of House Cue is here." Gleon was a fat man with a broad chest, a black beard, and a bald head. His loud voice could be heard in every corner of the hall.He brought six musicians, "Respected adults, beautiful women, tonight, I will only bring you one song," he said loudly, "Song of the Black Water River", which is sung by The story of the kingdom being saved." The drummers beat out a slow, sombre beat. "The Prince of Darkness broods in his tower," Gleon began, "his castle is black as the eternal night." "Black hair, dark soul," the musicians chanted in unison, joined by a flute. "He feeds on envy and murder, and his cup is full of hatred," Goleon sang. "My brother who ruled the Seven Kingdoms told Polar's wife, 'I will end his offspring with the sword, Everything is taken for granted'." "A brave prince with hair the color of gold," chanted the musicians again, joined by wood harps and fiddles. "If I'm Prime Minister again, the first thing I'll do is hang all the singers," cried Tyrion involuntarily. Mrs. Leonie beside her smiled softly, and Sir Garland leaned over, "Please rest assured, my lord, justice is in the hearts of the people, whether you sing it or not, your deeds will not be obliterated." "The Lord of Darkness gathers his legions, and they wait for his call like a flock of crows, thirsting for blood, boarding the warship..." "...Come and chop poor Tyrion's nose." He finished singing for him. Madam Leonie giggled, "Perhaps it's up to you to act, my lord, your words are not inferior to this Gleon at all." "That's not the case, ma'am," Ser Garland explained. "Our Lord Lannister was made for great work, not small words. Had it not been for his chains and wildfire, the enemy would have crossed the river." ; and if he hadn't sent out the natives to kill most of Lord Stannis' scouts, our army wouldn't have had the surprise effect." After hearing this, Tyrion felt absurdly grateful, and a little less concerned about Gleon's endless praise of the bravery of the little king and the steadfastness of his mother, the Golden Queen. "She's not like that at all," Sansa blurted out suddenly. "Never believe any of the stories in the songs, my lady." Tyrion told the servants to refill the goblet. The night had shrouded the high window, and Gleon sang more vigorously.He said there were seventy-seven stanzas in his song, and it sounded to Tyrion as many as a thousand.Is the bastard going to sing a section for each guest? He drank the last few dozen lines while resisting the urge to stuff his ears with mushrooms.By the time the singer bowed away, many of the guests were drunk and having fun.Dancers from the Summer Isles leaped into the hall in bright plumed robes and silk like tobacco whiskers, but Grand Master Pycelle was fast asleep at his desk.When serving the dish of stuffed deer with overripe blue cheese, a certain knight under Earl Rowan stabbed a Dornishman, and the golden robe hurried forward and dragged the two away. Pulling Bachelor of Diagnosis and Treatment. Tyrion casually forked up a piece of bacon seasoned with cinnamon, cloves, sugar, and almond milk, when King Joffrey suddenly staggered to his feet. "It's time for my royal knight to play!" He clapped his hands together, his voice full of alcohol. Nephew is more drunk than I am, thought Tyrion as he watched the gold warder open the door at the end of the long hall.From where he sat he could see only the tops of the dappled lances held by the pair of cavaliers who entered side by side, and waves of hilarity spread among the guests as the two stepped down the central aisle toward the king.Were the two of them riding particularly short horses? He guessed...until the other came into view. The so-called "royal knights" turned out to be two dwarfs, one of whom rode a long-legged, wide-mouthed greyhound, the other a spotted sow.The painted wooden armor of the dwarf knight clattered as the animal moved.Both of them raised their spears arrogantly and carried shields bigger than themselves, shaking and clamoring from time to time, which looked extraordinarily funny.One knight was all gold, with a black stag painted on his shield; the other was gray and white, with a direwolf coat of arms.Horse armor is also similarly dressed.Tyrion looked at the smiling faces on the high platform: Joffrey was flushed with joy and breathless; Tommen was jumping up and down on the chair, screaming; Cersei was giggling gracefully. ; even Lord Tywin seemed interested.Among the crowd sitting on the high platform, only Sansa Stark was expressionless.He should have loved her for it, but the truth was, the Stark girl had been too far away before, not even the dwarf knight was near her. Don't blame the dwarves, Tyrion concluded, and when the show's over I'll say hello to them, give them a big bag of silver, and find out whoever devised this little joke.Lannisters must pay their debts. When the dwarves stopped under the high platform to greet the king, the wolf knight dropped his shield in a panic.He bent down to pick it up, but the deer rider couldn't hold the spear at the same time, so the weapon slammed on the wolf rider's back, knocking him off the pig.Then the two messed up, and things got tangled up on the floor.Once they were back on their feet, they ran off to ride the dog together again, and another yelling, jostling and jostling ensued.In the end, the two dwarfs re-saddled, but swapped mounts, took the wrong shields, and sat in opposite directions. After another ridiculous tidying up, the two finally rode to opposite sides of the aisle in the hall, ready to compete.Some lords and ladies laughed, and some were silly.The dwarfs ran over and collided suddenly. The wolf knight's spear hit the stag knight's helmet, and the opponent's head flew out.The head splattered with blood, whirled in the air, and finally fell on the lap of Earl Gales.Headless gnomes ran across the table, waving their hands furiously.Dogs barked, women screamed, and Yuetong stepped on stilts to avoid the scene in extreme danger, but Earl Gales took out a smashed watermelon from his smashed helmet.当看到鹿骑士的头从盔甲里伸出来时，一阵笑闹的风暴席卷大厅。侏儒们等大家笑声渐息，才又彼此绕圈，辱骂各种情色脏话，准备第二轮比武。这时，灰狗突然抛下骑士，骑到母猪身上。大母猪可怜地尖叫抗议，婚宴宾客们乐得合不拢嘴，尤其看到鹿骑士趁机压住狼骑士，解开木制马裤，用那话儿努力干对方下体，大家的肚子都快笑爆炸了。 “我投降，我投降，”被压在下面的侏儒尖叫，“好爵士，把您的'宝剑'放下吧!” “我会的，我会的，只要你别蠕动'剑鞘'!”骑在上面的侏儒回答，欢乐于此刻达到顶点。 乔佛里笑得两个鼻孔里喷出酒来，他喘着粗气，站起身子，差点撞翻那七面巨杯。“冠军，”他叫道，“我们有了一位冠军了。”听见国王发话，大厅沉默下来。侏儒们也规规矩矩地站好，无疑在等待着夸奖赏赐。“可是，这并非真正的冠军，”小乔续道，“真正的冠军得击败所有挑战者!”国王爬上桌子。“还有哪位要向我们的小冠军挑战呢?”带着愉快的笑容，他转向提利昂，“舅舅!为了王国的荣誉，你可以出战吗?我说，骑上那只猪吧!” 笑声如海浪般打来。提利昂不记得如何起立，如何爬上椅子，反正他发现自己已站到桌子上，面前是一片摇曳的模糊笑脸。他用扭曲的面容扮出也许是七大王国有史以来最为丑陋、最为讽刺的微笑。“陛下，”他喊回去，“我骑猪……你骑狗!” 小乔困惑地皱紧眉头，“我?我又不是侏儒，干吗上场啊?” 你简直一如既往的迟钝，正好踏入陷阱。“干吗?因为你是全场我唯一确信能打败的人!” 他不知哪样更甜美：是刹那间大厅内惊骇的静默，是随后猛然爆发的狂笑，还是外甥脸上无法压抑的暴跳如雷。小恶魔满意地跳下桌子，而奥斯蒙爵士和马林爵土扶国王下来。他注意到瑟曦怒视着他，便给了对方一记飞吻。 乐师重新演奏，厅内气氛得以舒缓。两名侏儒领着猪狗离开，宾客们开始享用野猪肉。提利昂正叫人斟酒，忽被加兰爵士猛力扯住衣袖。“大人，小心，”骑士警告，“国王来了。” 提利昂坐在椅子上转身，只见乔佛里已经走来，红了面颊，踉踉跄跄，手捧巨大的金杯，酒液溢过边沿。“陛下。”才说这一句，国王便将酒杯整个从他头上倒下去。红色的水流冲刷他的脸庞，浸透他的头发，刺痛他的眼睛，灼热他的伤疤，流过下巴，打湿了他的新天鹅绒外套。“感觉如何啊，小恶魔?”乔佛里嘲笑道。 提利昂的眼睛几乎要喷出火来，他用衣袖擦脸，不停眨巴，试图让视线恢复清晰。“这样做很不适当，陛下。”他听见加兰爵士静静地表示。 “话不是这样说，加兰爵士，”提利昂不想出更大的丑，不能在这里，当着全国诸侯的面，“并非每位国王都愿意亲自来敬他卑微的仆人一杯酒的。很遗憾，酒洒掉了。” “才没有洒掉!”乔佛里根本没领会提利昂为他提供的台阶，“我也不是来敬你酒的!” 玛格丽王后突然出现在小乔身边。“我可爱的君王，”提利尔女孩恳求，“来，回座位吧，又一位歌手要开始表演。” “对，伊森人阿里克，”奥莲娜·提利尔夫人拄着拐杖走近，和她孙女一样对浑身湿透的侏儒无动于衷，“希望他再唱一遍《卡斯特梅的雨季》，吃了个把钟头，我都快忘记词了。” “亚当爵士还要为我们祝酒呢，”玛格丽说，“来嘛，陛下。” “我没有酒，”乔佛里宣布，“没有酒如何能接受祝酒?小恶魔舅舅，你可以为我服务，既然无法上场比武，就当我的侍酒吧。” "I am very honored." “这不是什么荣誉!”乔佛里厉声尖叫，“把杯子给我捡起来。”他默然照办，手朝杯耳伸去，不料国王一脚踢翻了金杯。“捡起来!你这矮冬瓜还笨得出奇吗!?” 他爬入桌子底下找到东西。 “很好，现在给我倒酒，”提利昂从一名女仆手中抓过酒壶，将杯子注满三分之二。 “不行，跪下去，侏儒，”于是提利昂双脚跪下，捧起沉重的金杯”心里怀疑国王是否要再让他洗次澡。幸好乔佛里这回将杯子一手接过，深饮之后，放到桌上，“你可以起来了，舅舅。 " 腿脚业已僵硬抽筋，几乎令他再度瘫在地上。提利昂赶紧抓住椅子稳定平衡，加兰爵士伸手来扶。乔佛里笑了，瑟曦笑了，大家都笑了。他看不见他们的脸，但记住了所有声音。 “陛下，”泰温公爵以不受影响的精准语气发话，“馅饼上来了，您得亲自切割。” “馅饼?”国王一把挽住王后，“来，夫人，该切馅饼了。” 大馅饼由六名喜气洋洋的厨师抬着，缓缓进入长厅，大家都站起来，叫嚷喝彩，互碰酒杯。它的直径足有两码之长，颜色金褐，表皮松脆，里面传来鸟类尖叫、扑腾和打闹的声音。 提利昂坐回椅子，只等鸽子朝他拉屎，今天就算功德圆满。酒汁不仅浸透了新外套，还浸进内衣，皮肤湿漉漉的，很不舒服。他想去换装，但在闹新房之前，任何人都不得离开，现下还有二三十道菜呢。 乔佛里与玛格丽在高台下等候大馅饼。国王拔出配剑，王后伸手制止，“寡妇之嚎不是用来切饼子的。” “没错，”小乔提高音量，“伊林爵士，把你的剑拿来!” 从厅后的阴影里，伊林·派恩爵士突然出现。宴会上的幽灵，看着国王的刽子手大步上前，形容憔悴，神情冷酷，提利昂不禁心想。失去舌头之前的伊林爵士他并不了解，因为那时人还太小。想必当年是另一番模样，而今沉默与那双深邃的眼睛、铁灰色的锁甲和背上的双手巨剑一样，成为了他的招牌。 伊林爵士在国王夫妇面前鞠躬，伸手过肩，将一柄六尺长、刻满符文、装饰华丽的银色巨剑抽出来，随后单膝跪地，将巨剑剑柄朝前献给乔佛里，剑柄以大块龙晶雕成微笑骷髅，红宝石眼睛闪烁着红色火光。 珊莎不安地扭动，“那是什么剑?” 提利昂的眼睛依旧被葡萄酒刺痛，他努力眨巴，以求看清楚。伊林爵士的配剑与寒冰一样长而宽阔，但色彩并非瓦雷利亚钢的沉暗如烟，而是发出银色光泽。珊莎抓住丈夫的胳膊，“他把我父亲的剑怎样了?” 我该把寒冰还给罗柏·史塔克，提利昂心想，他瞥向父亲，但泰温公爵的注意力全放在国王身上。 乔佛里和玛格丽协力举起那柄巨剑，猛然挥下，划出一道银弧。馅饼皮破开的同时，一百只白鸽迫不及待地冲出来，向各个方向乱飞，最后拍翅站到窗户和房梁上，空中都是飞散的羽毛。大厅内欢声雷动，旁听席上的提琴和风笛奏出轻快的乐章。小乔抱起新娘，快乐地转圈。 一名仆人将一片鸽子馅饼放到提利昂面前，并撒上一勺柠檬乳酪。馅饼是用真正的鸽子做的，但他讨厌它们就跟讨厌它们那些四处拉屎的同类一样。珊莎也没开动。“你脸色苍白得厉害，”提利昂道，“呼吸点新鲜空气吧，里面太闷了。而我也该换身衣服。”他站起来，握住妻子的手，“来吧。” 可乔佛里又回来了，“舅舅，想上哪儿去啊?你是我的侍酒，不准走!” “我得换身衣服，陛下，可以先告退吗?” “不行，我喜欢你现在这个样子。给我倒酒。” 国王的金杯还在桌上，提利昂爬上座椅，将它捧起。小乔伸手抓过，深饮一口，他的喉咙不住吞咽，紫色的酒液流过下巴。“陛下，”玛格丽求道，“我们该回去了，布克威尔大人要来祝酒呢。” “我舅舅没吃馅饼，”国王一手握住杯子，一手捣鼓饼子，“这不吉利。”责骂之余，他胡乱抓起一把塞进嘴里。“瞧，很好吃，”他吞下热腾腾的香料鸽子馅饼，嘴里呛出些许脆皮，随后又抓了一把。“干，有点干，得冲下去。”小乔又饮一口酒，然后开始咳嗽。“我要你，咳，骑那只，咳咳，猪，舅舅，我要你……”他的话语被咳嗽声打断。 玛格丽关切地望着丈夫，“陛下?” “是，咳，馅饼，没关——咳——系。”小乔再喝一口酒，但当又一阵咳嗽猛然降临时，所有汁液都喷将出来。他的脸色越涨越红。“我，咳，无法，咳咳咳咳……”金杯自手中滑落，暗红的葡萄酒流淌在高台上。 “他噎住了!”玛格丽王后惊呼。 她的祖母迅速靠拢。“快帮帮这可怜的孩子!”荆棘女王以比身材高十倍的嗓门尖叫，“你们这帮白痴!只会张口结舌傻站着看吗!快帮帮你们的国王!” 加兰爵士推开提利昂，来为乔佛里捶背。奥斯蒙·凯特布莱克爵士割开国王的衣领。这孩子从咽喉深处发出细得吓人、充满恐惧的嘶声，就像一个人想用一根芦苇饮尽一条长江，随后竟连这也消失了，只剩恐怖的沉寂。“把他翻过来!”梅斯·提利尔手足无措地大吼，“把他翻过来，提起脚跟抖!”另一个嗓门吼的则是，“水，给他喝水!”总主教高声祈祷，派席尔国师嚷着命人扶自己回去取药。乔佛里伸手抓向喉咙，指甲在皮肤上挖出道道血痕，然而下面的肌肉硬得像岩石。托曼王子哭哭啼啼。 他快死了，提利昂领悟过来。尽管周遭充满各种混乱喧嚣与狂暴，自己却奇特地镇静。这会儿有好几个人在给小乔捶背，但国王的脸色越来越黑。狗儿吠叫，孩童嚎啕，大人们彼此呼喊桩桩毫无意义的建议。一半的宾客站了起来，有的推挤过来想看清楚，有的则忙着溜出门去。 马林爵士掰开国王的嘴巴，将一支勺子伸进咽喉深处探察。就在这时，国王的眼睛对上提利昂的目光。他有詹姆的眼睛。但詹姆从不会如此惧怕。毕竟他才十三岁呢。乔佛里的喉头挤出一下干燥、粗嘎的声音，似乎是要说话。他眼白突出，神色恐怖，提起一只手……指向舅舅，指向……他是要请求我的原谅吗?或者认为我能拯救他?“不不不不，”瑟曦嘶声哭嚎，“天父啊，救救他吧，谁来救救他啊，他是我儿子，我儿子……” 提利昂不由自主地思及罗柏·史塔克。事后看来，我的婚礼还算幸运。他想看珊莎的反应，但厅内一片混乱，不见夫人踪影。最后，他的目光落到那只被遗忘在地板的金杯上，便把它捡了起来，底部还有少许深紫色酒液。提利昂考虑了一会儿，将它倒光了。 玛格丽·提利尔倒在祖母怀中啜泣，“勇敢些，勇敢些，”老妇人呢喃道。泰半的乐师业已逃离，只有一个笛手留在旁听席里奏出一曲挽歌。王座厅底部的大门边，爆发了混战，宾客们互相践踏争夺，亚当爵士的金袍军连忙上前维持秩序。客人们不顾一切地冲向黑夜，有的哭泣，有的踉跄，有的呕吐，惨白的脸上写满恐惧。明智的选择是赶紧离开，提利昂迟钝地想。 当他听到瑟曦的惨叫时，明白一切都结束了。 我也该离开的。相反，他蹒跚着走过去，走向他的姐姐。 太后瘫倒在一滩酒水里，怀抱着儿子冰冷的身躯。她的裙服破烂脏污，她的脸颊白如垩石。一只瘦黑狗爬到她身边，舔嗅小乔的尸体。“这孩子去了，瑟曦，”泰温公爵把戴手套的手放在女儿肩上，手下卫士则将狗赶开，“松手，让他走吧。”作母亲的浑然不觉，两名御林铁卫协力才把她手指掰开，于是七国之君乔佛里·拜拉席恩一世的尸体就这样柔软地、毫无声息地滑倒在王座厅的地板上。 总主教跪在死去的君主身边，“天上的圣父啊，求你公正地裁判我们的好国王乔佛里吧，”他拖长声音吟咏，开始作临终祷告。玛格丽·提利尔哭出声来，她母亲艾勒莉夫人则安慰道，“他噎住了，亲爱的，他被馅饼噎住了，不是你的错。他噎住了，我们都瞧见的。” “他没有噎住，”瑟曦的音调比伊林爵士的宝剑更锋利，“我儿子是被毒死的。”她扫视无助地环绕在周围的白骑土，“御林铁卫们，履行职责。” “夫人?”洛拉斯·提利尔爵士狐疑地询问。 “立刻逮捕我弟弟，”她下令，“是他干的，这侏儒和他的小妻子。他俩害了我儿子，害了你们的国王。抓住他们!抓住他们!”