Chapter 12 Chapter 12 Winter

She wakes up gradually, unwilling to wake up.Light gray lines show through the edges of the window panels.Why is the window blocked?She got up quickly, walked across the corridor and into the kitchen.No one sat by the fire, no one lay on the ground.There was no sign of anyone or anything, except for a teapot and three teacups on the table and cabinet. Therru was up at sunrise, and they both finished their breakfast as usual."What's going on?" asked the girl as she cleaned the table. She pulled the corner of the damp cloth from the soaking tub in the pantry, staining the water maroon.

"Oh, my period came early," said Tenar, surprised at her own lie. Therru froze for a moment, his nostrils fluttering, his head stilled, like an animal smelling something.She let the sheets fall back into the water, then went out to feed the chickens. Tenar felt ill all over, and her bones ached.It was still freezing and she stayed indoors as much as possible.She tried to keep Therru in the house, but when the sun came out with a strong, bright wind, Therru wanted to go out and play. "Stay in the orchard with Shandy," Tenar said. Therru slipped out the door without a word.

Her burnt, distorted profile was tough with muscular damage and thick scabs, but as the scars got older and Tenar got used to looking straight at it and not looking away because of its deformity, it gradually took on expression.According to Tenar's description, when Therru was frightened, the burned and dark side would "shrink", and the whole would constrict, forming a lump; when she was excited or focused, even the blind eye sockets seemed to stare, the scars flushed, and the tentacles Heat.Now she came out of the house with a strange expression, as if it were not a human face but an animal, some strange, thick-skinned wild animal, with one bright eye, silent, escaping.

Tenar knew that for the first time he had lied to her, and Therrue would be against her for the first time.First time, but not the last. She let out a tired sigh and didn't move for a long time. There was a knock at the door, and Qingxi and Ged—no, she had to call him an eagle—stood on the steps.Old Qingxi was blowing his mouth out, and Ged looked dark, quiet, and bloated in his soiled sheepskin coat. "Come in," she said, "and have a cup of tea. Any news?" "I want to escape and run to the mouth of the valley, but the people from Kahdanen, those patrolmen, came down from the mountain and found them in Shirley's outhouse." Qingxi announced loudly, shaking his fists.

"He escaped?" Horror seized her. "It was the other two," said Ged; "not him." "They found the body in the old ruined house on Round Hill, beaten into shape, in the old ruined house up there, next to Kahdanen. Ten or twelve of them immediately set themselves up as patrolmen on the spot and went after them. Last night All the villages have been searched, and at dawn this morning they found the gang hiding in Shirley's outhouse. Frozen to death." "So he's dead?" she asked confused. Ged took off his heavy coat, sat down on the wicker chair by the door, and took off his leather leggings. "He's alive," he said in his usual quiet voice, "Yawei looked at him. I pushed him in a compost cart this morning. Before dawn, people searched for three people on the road. They killed a woman on the mountain .”

"What woman?" Tenar whispered. She looked directly into Ged's.He nodded slightly. Qingxi hoped that the news would come from himself, so he continued loudly: "I talked to the group of people above, and they told me that the four of them were all wandering, camping, and wandering around Kahdanen, and the woman would go to the village to beg, with beatings, burns and bruises all over her body. They, the men, would call her to the village to beg, and she would return to them. She told the villagers that if she went back empty-handed, they would beat her They asked, why go back? She said that if she didn't go back, they would come after her, and she would definitely go with them in the end anyway. But they went too far and beat her to death, so they carried her The dead bodies left in the old ruined house, where there is still a bit of a stench, maybe they thought they could hide their good deeds in this way. So they escaped here last night. Goha, why didn't you shout last night? Eagle Said they were sneaking around the house when he rushed at them. I must have heard it, or Shandy would have heard it too, and she has sharper ears than mine. Did you tell her?"

Tenar shook her head. "Then I'll tell her." The old man said, glad that he was the first to hear the news, and walked across the courtyard.Halfway he turned, "Didn't think you were so good with the rake!" he called to Ged, and slapped his thighs, and went away with a hearty laugh. Ged took off his heavy leggings and his muddy shoes, put them on the steps, and walked in his socks to the fire.Trousers with a vest, woolen wool shirt, the standard gont shepherd, with a clever face, a hooked nose, and clear black eyes. "Someone will come soon," he said, "to tell you the news, and to hear what happened here. They caught the two who escaped, and they are now locked up in the cellar without wine, fifteen or two There were ten men guarding them, and twenty or thirty little boys vying to watch..." He yawned, shook his shoulders and arms to relax his muscles, and glanced at Tenar, asking permission to sit by the fire.

She gestured to the seat by the fireplace. "You must be exhausted," she whispered. "I slept in here for a while last night. Couldn't hold on." He yawned again.He looked up at her, measuring her. "That's Therru's mother," she said, not louder than a whisper. He nodded, leaning forward slightly, resting his forearms on his knees.Firestone had sat in the same position, staring straight into the fire.The two are very similar, but also completely different, like a stone in mud and a bird in flight.Her heart throbbed, her bones throbbed, and her mind was bewildered with forebodings, sorrows, remembered fears, and some disturbing drift.

"The man we caught was with the witch," he said. "It was tied up so he wouldn't move around. The wounds were stuffed with spider silk and spells to stop the bleeding. She said he would live until he was hanged." "Hanging?" "The king's court reopened, and they will be hanged or enslaved according to their ruling." She shook her head, frowning. "You will not let him go, Tenar," he said softly, looking at her. "Won't." "They must be punished," he said, still looking at her. "Punish. That's what he said. Punish the child, she's bad, she must be punished; punish me for taking her, because I..." She struggled to speak her mind. "I don't want punishment! This whole thing shouldn't have happened...I wish you'd killed him in the first place!"

"I did my best," said Ged. After a long time, she trembled with laughter. "You did try your best." "Think how easy it was—when I was a wizard," he said, looking straight at the coals again. "I can be on the road, and I can bind them before they know it; I can drive them like a flock of sheep to the mouth of the valley; or last night, here, think what a commotion I can make! They never You don’t know what you’re being attacked by.” "They still don't know," she said. He glanced at her with a faint but unquenchable gleam of triumph. "That's right," he said, "they don't know."

"It's pretty good with a rake," she murmured. He yawned heavily. "Why don't you go to sleep for a while? The second room on the corridor. Or do you want to entertain guests? I saw Yunque and Diqi bringing a few children over." She stood up as soon as she heard the voice, and looked through the window . "I'm going to bed then," he said, slipping out of the room. The Skylarks, Diqi, the blacksmith's wife, and the rest of the village friends streamed in and out all day to send and hear news, just as Ged had expected.She found that having them by their side reinvigorated her, took her away bit by bit from the lingering terror of last night, until she could let it go and stop feeling like it was happening and would keep happening to her. Therrue had to learn that too, she thought, not just in one night, but all her life. After the others left, she said to Skylark: "I am most angry with myself because I am so stupid." "I told you to lock the door." "No...maybe...that's it." "I understand." Skylark said. "But I mean, while they're here, I can run out and find Shandy and Clear Brook, and maybe I can run away with Therru. Maybe I can run to the shed and grab a rake or apple tree shears myself —It's seven feet long, with razor-sharp scissors, and I keep it as well as I did when Flint was there. Why didn't I do that? Why didn't I do anything about it? Why did I just lock myself up and it wouldn't do anything? If he... ...if the eagle wasn't here... I just trapped myself in the house with Therru. I finally got to the door with the butcher's knife and yelled at them. I was half mad, but it wouldn't scare them away." "I don't know," Lark said. "It's crazy, but maybe... I don't know. What else can you do but lock your door? But we seem to lock our doors all our lives. This is the house we live in." They looked around at the stone walls, the stone floors, the stone chimney, the sunlit windows in the kitchen, at Oak Farm, Farmer Flint's house. "The girl they killed, the woman," said Skylark, looking at Tenar keenly, "and she too." Tenar nodded. "One of them told me she was pregnant. Four or five months old." The two were silent at the same time. "Trapped," Tenar said. Skylark leaned back, her hands on the skirt that covered her strong thighs, her back straight, her pretty face serious. "Fear," she said, "what is it that we are so afraid of? Why do we let them tell us we are afraid? What is it that they are afraid of?" She picked up the sock she had mended, turned it in her hands, and was silent.At last she asked: "Why are they afraid of us?" Tenar spun, but made no answer. Therru ran into the house, and Lark greeted her: "My dear is here! Come give me a hug, my dear!" Therru hugged her hastily. "Who did they catch?" she asked in a hoarse flat voice, looking from Lark to Tenar. Tenar stopped the spinning wheel and spoke slowly. "One is Handy, and the other man's name is Shag. The wounded one is called Heck." She looked directly at Therru, saw the flames, and the scar was red. "The woman they killed seems to be named Seni." "Senini." The child whispered. Tenar nodded. "Did they kill her?" She nods again. "Turbo said they've been here." She nodded three times. The child looked around the room, as they had just done, but her expression was so resigned that she could not see any walls. "Are you going to kill them?" "They could be hanged." "Execution?" "yes." Therru nodded, a little indifferently.She went out of the house again to rejoin Lark's children by the well. The two women, without a word, spun and mended, and sat silently by the hearth, in the house of flint. After a long time, Skylark said, "That guy is the shepherd who followed them here. How is he? Eagle? Is that what you call him?" "He sleeps in there," said Tenar, nodding farther into the room. "Ah." Skylark said. The spinning wheel whirred. "I've known him before." "Ah. It's at Reya Bai's side, isn't it?" Tenar nodded.The spinning wheel whirred and turned. "It takes courage to follow those three people and attack them with a rake in the dark. Isn't he a young man?" "No." After a while, she continued, "Before he was sick and needed to work. So I asked him to come down from the mountain and told Qingxi to let him work here. But Qingxi thought he could come by himself, so Send him to go above the hot springs to do his summer shepherding. He was coming back from the mountains." "Seems like you want to keep him here, don't you?" "If he will," Tenar answered. Another group of people from the village came to Oak Grange, wanting to hear Goha's account, telling her their role in this big hunt, look at the grass rake, compare the four long iron teeth with the black guy The three blood spots on the bandage, recall it again.Tenar welcomed the night with joy, and called Therru back to the house, and shut the door behind her. She raised her hand to bolt the door, put it down, and forced herself to leave, leaving it unlatched. "The sparrowhawk is in your room," Therru told her, taking the eggs from the cool room back to the kitchen. "I was going to tell you he's here... sorry." "I know him," said Therru, washing his face and hands in the storeroom.When Ged came into the kitchen, sleepy-eyed and disheveled, she went straight up to him, throwing up her hands. "Therru," he said, picking her up and holding her close.She hugged him tightly for a moment, then pulled away. "I know the beginning of Oia's Creation Song," she told him. "Sing it to me?" He glanced again at Tenar for permission, and took his usual place by the fire. "I can only recite." He nodded and waited, his expression quite serious.child said: out of nothing, from beginning to end, Who can know? Husband is close but retreats, Ordinary people don't know what to do. forever in all things, Longevity, gatekeeper, Xi Guoyi... The child's voice was like a brush on tin, like a dead leaf, like a hissing fire, until the end of the first stanza. Therefore, Light Ea rises above the foam. Ged nodded emphatically and emphatically, "Very well." "Last night," Tenar said, "she just memorized it last night. It feels like a year ago." "I can still learn," said Therru. "You will learn," Ged told her. "Now please clean the squeezer first," Tenar said, and the child obeyed. "What shall I do?" asked Ged.Tenar hesitated for a moment, studying him. "I need to fill the kettle and boil the water." He nodded and walked to the pump with the kettle in hand. The three make dinner, finish eating, and clean up. "Recite the Song of Creation that you have memorized again," Ged said to Therru from before the fire, "and we shall go on from there." She repeated the second stanza with him, once with Tenar, and once by herself. "Bed," said Tenar. "You didn't tell Sparrowhawk about the king." "You tell him," said Tenar, amused at the excuse of delay. Therru turned to Ged.Her small face, scarred and intact sides, blind and normal eyes, is extremely focused and eager. "The king came in a boat. He had a long sword, and he gave me a bone dolphin. His boat was flying, but I was sick then, because Handy touched me. The king touched there, and the mark was gone. "She showed off her round and slender arms.Tenar's eyes widened. She had completely forgotten the mark. "One day I want to fly to where he lives," Therru told Ged, who nodded. "I'll go," she said. "Do you know him?" "I know him. I went on a long journey with him." "where to?" "Go where the sun never rises and the stars never set. And come back from there." "Did you fly there?" He shook his head. "I just walk," he said. The child thought, then seemed to have a satisfactory answer, said good night, and went into the room.Tenar entered afterward, but Therru did not want to hear her sing to sleep. "I can recite Genesis in the dark," she said, "two verses." Tenar went back to the kitchen and sat down facing Ged across the fire. "How fast she's grown!" she said. "I can't keep up with her. I'm too old to have children. And she...she listens, but only because she wants to." "That is the only valid reason for obedience," remarked Ged. "But what can I do when she's going to rebel against me? She has a certain wildness. Sometimes she's my Therru, and sometimes she's something else, beyond my reach. I asked Ivy if she could consider training her , Bi Tan suggested, Yawei said no. "Why?" I asked. "I'm afraid of her!" She said... But you are not afraid of her, and she is not afraid of you. Of all men, she only allows you to touch Lebanin Touch her. And I let that... that Huntie... I can't talk about it, oh, I'm so tired! I don't understand anything..." Ged put a knot on the fire, and let it burn little and slowly, and they both watched the flames leap and quiver. "Ged, I want you to stay here," she said, "if you will." He didn't answer right away.She said, "Maybe you want to go to Havnor..." "No, it's not. I have nowhere to go, I'm looking for a job." "Well, there are a lot of things to do here. Qingxi won't admit it, but his gout probably only allows him to do gardening work. Since I came back, I have been asking for help. I really want to give that old stubborn After a meal, he sent you up the mountain like that, but it was useless, he couldn't listen." "It's a good thing for me," said Ged, "that's the time I need." "Are you herding sheep?" "Goats. On the highest pastures. One of their shepherd boys got sick and Siri hired me and sent me up the hill on the first day. They keep the sheep on the high ground for a long time so the undercoat grows thick. Last month , I had the hill almost to myself. Siri sent me that coat and some supplies, and told me to keep the flock up there as long as possible. I did. It was fine up there." "Lonely," she said. He nodded, half smiling. "You've always been alone." "Yes, always." She said nothing.He looks at her. "I want to work here," he said. "That's a deal," she said.After a while, she added: "At least until the end of this winter." The frost is thicker tonight.In the world of the two, except for the whispering of the flames, everything was perfectly quiet.Quiet, like a real existence between the two.She looked up and looked at him. "Well," she said, "whose bed shall I sleep in, Ged? The child's, or yours?" He took a deep breath and said in a low voice, "If you want, mine." "I would." Silence grabbed him.She could see him struggling to break free. "Be patient with me if you will," he said. "I've been patient with you for twenty-five years," she said, looking at him and beginning to chuckle. "Okay...well honey...better late than never! I'm just an old woman...nothing is wasted, nothing is ever wasted, you taught me that." She stood up, He also stood up.She held out her hands for him to hold.The two hugged, hugged, and got closer.The two hugged each other so passionately and lovingly until the world was unaware of each other's existence except for the existence of the other.It no longer matters whose bed you sleep in.They lay before the hearth that night, and she taught Ged mysteries that even the wisest sages could not teach. Tenar made no objection this time as he rebuilt the fire and pulled the beautiful blanket from the bench.Her cloak and his sheepskin coat are their quilts. The two woke up at the crack of dawn, and the faint silver light fell on the dark half-naked oak branches outside the window.Tenar stretched her limbs to feel the warmth of him leaning against her side.After a while, she murmured, "Here he lies. Heck. On the ground..." Ged protested softly. "You're a real man now," she said. "Poke the other man all over the body first, then share the bed with the woman. I think that's the right order." "Shh," he murmured, turning to face her, resting his head on her shoulder. "Don't say that." "I will say. Poor man, Ged! I have no pity, but justice. I was not taught pity by those who trained me, and love is my only virtue. Oh, Ged, fear me not! The first time I saw When you are, you are already a man! It is not weapons or women, nor magic, nor any force, nor anything that can make a man a man. Only by himself." The two reclined in the warm, sweet silence. "Tell me." He murmured sleepily his agreement. "How did you hear what they were saying? Heck and Handy and the other one. How did you happen to be there, right then?" He propped himself up on one elbow so he could gaze into her face.His face was full of ease, contentment, and tenderness, so frank and vulnerable, she couldn't help reaching out to touch his lips, at the position where she kissed for the first time a few months ago, he hugged her again, and the conversation no longer needed words to continue. There are still some formalities that must be done.The most important thing is to tell Qingxi and the other tenants of Oak Farm that she will choose a hired worker to replace the "former owner".She's quick, unabashed, and frank.There's nothing they can do about it, and it's not a threat to them.Only in the absence of a male heir or claimant can a widow keep her husband's property. Firestone's seaman's son is his heir, and Firestone's widow only manages the farm for him—if she dies, Qingxi will manage it as the heir; If Spark never inherits, it belongs to a distant cousin of Firestone in Kahdanen.The two couples, Qingxi and Shandy, and Tiff and Siss, had devoted their lives to this farm, but had no right to own it, which was very common in Gont.However, any man the widow chooses cannot dismiss them, even if she marries him.But she's worried they'll resent her for not keeping Firestone's rites, since they've known Firestone longer.Much to her relief, they had no objections.The eagle wins their approval with a pitch of a pitchfork; besides, a woman wants a man's protection in the house, of course.If she put him to bed, widows' appetites were well known anyway; and, after all, she was an outsider. The attitude of the villagers was not far off, a little whispering and low-pitched jeering, but that was all.Apparently gaining respect is easier than Moss imagined, or maybe second-hand goods are of little value. Their acceptance was as tainted and demeaning as she had imagined the disapproval.Only Skylark frees her from shame, without judgment, without words—man, woman, widow, outsider—in place of what she sees, just watching, looking at her with interest, curiosity, envy, tolerance with the eagle. Because the lark does not examine the eagle through the words shepherd, hireling, widow's man, but directly at him, she finds many things puzzling.His self-esteem and simplicity were on par with the others she knew, but he was a little different in character.There was something great about him, she thought, not in height or fatness, of course, but in his soul and heart.She said to Ivy: "That man didn't live with goats all his life. He knows more about the world than the farm." "I think he is a sorcerer who is cursed, or has lost his powers for some reason," said the witch. "It could happen." "Ah." Skylark said. But the word "archmage" from the world of vanity and palaces was too sublime and grand when applied to the black-eyed gray-haired man on the oak farm, so she never made this association.If she had ever thought about it, it would never be possible to get along with him so easily.Even the fact that he might have been a sorcerer made her uncomfortable, the name messing with her image of himself until she saw him again.He was sitting on an old apple tree in the orchard sawing off dead wood, and he called out to her as she came toward the farm.His name suits him well, she thought, perched in a tree like this.She waved to him and walked on with a smile. Tenar had not forgotten the question under the sheepskin coat, on the floor by the hearth.Time passed sweetly and comfortably in this stone house locked in winter, and she asked again a few days or months later. "You never told me," she said, "how you heard them talking on the road." "I think I told you. I ducked to the side of the road when I heard someone coming from behind me." "why?" "I was alone at the time, and I knew there were several bandit groups around there." "Of course it is . "I think he meant 'Oak Grange'." "It's all reasonable. It's just that it seems too coincidental." Knowing that she didn't believe him, he leaned back and waited. "That's the kind of thing that happens to wizards," she said. "It happens to other people too." "Maybe." "Honey, don't you want me to... go back to my old job?" "No. Not at all, it would be so unwise. If you were a wizard, would you still be here?" The two were lying on a large oak bed, covered with sheepskin and feather quilts, because there was no fireplace in the room, and apart from snow falling that night, hard frost fell. "But I wonder about this: what else is there besides what you call 'power'? Maybe it precedes power? Or is power just one of the ways in which something is expressed? As Ogion once said You said you were a mage before you inherited any knowledge or training to be a wizard. A born mage, he said. So I guess, before you have power, you have to have room for it. A place waiting to be filled The void is full. And the bigger the void, the more power can be filled. But if the power is never received, or is taken and sent, the void remains." "There's nothing there," he said. "Emptiness is just a way of saying, maybe not true." "Potential?" he said, then shook his head. "Could become, be something?" "I think you're going to be on that road at the right time and the right place because of that, because that's what's going to happen to you. You didn't make it happen, you didn't cause it to happen, it wasn't because of your 『 Power'. It happens to you only because of your... emptiness." After a moment, he said, "It's the same idea I learned in Roke when I was young: the real magic is to 'do the right thing.' But this goes a step further. Not just 'doing,' but 'being done.' ..." "I think it's more than that, it should be more like the origin of real deeds. Didn't you come to save my life, didn't you stab the rake into Heike? That is indeed an 'act', what should be done..." He fell into deep thought again, and finally asked her: "Is this the wisdom you were given when you were the priestess protecting the mausoleum?" "No." She stretched a little, looking into the darkness. "Arha was taught that in order to have power, she must sacrifice, both herself and others. It's a deal, and what you give is what you get. I can't say these words are wrong, but my soul can't live in that narrow place — barter, tooth for tooth, death for life...Beyond that, there is a freedom. Beyond payment, reward, redemption; beyond all exchange and balance, there is a freedom." "'Tao also'." He said softly. That night Tenar had a dream.She dreamed that she saw the Word in the Oia Genesis Song.It was a small window of knotted, fog-white, heavy glass, set low in the west wall of an old house on the sea.The windows are locked.She wants to open the window, but she needs a word, or a key, something she has forgotten, a word, a key, a name, without which the window cannot be opened.She searched the shrinking and darkening stone house until she found Ged with his arms around her, trying to wake her up and comfort her, saying, "It's all right, my dear, everything will be all right!" "I can't escape!" she cried, clinging to him. He comforted her, smoothing her hair with his hands, the two of them leaned back, and he whispered: "Look." The old moon rose and reflected its white light against the falling snow into the house, for Tenar would not close the shutters even in the cold.The suspended air is misty and flooded everywhere.The two lay in the shadow, the roof seemed to be just a layer of tulle, covering them, separating the boundless, silvery, peaceful sea of ​​light from the other side. This year Gongtu had a snowy and long winter and a very good harvest.Both humans and animals have food, so there is nothing to do except eat and drink to keep warm. Therru could already recite the entire "Eia Creation Song".She recites "Winter Ode" and "The Young King's Friendship" on the day of return; she knows how to knead pie crust, use a spinning wheel, and make soap; she knows the names and functions of all plants exposed in the snow, as well as many herbs and oral traditions. The matters of folklore were all the knowledge that Ged had put into his head during his brief apprenticeship with Ogion and the long years he spent at Roke College.But he did not take the rune-book or the tome off the mantelpiece, nor did he teach the child a word of the language of creation. He discussed it with Tenar.She told him she had tried to teach Therru a word: "Tuo," and stopped because it didn't feel right, though she didn't understand why she thought it. "I thought maybe it was because I never actually spoke the language, never used it in spells. I thought maybe she should learn from someone who actually spoke the language of Creation." "There is no such person." "There is no such woman." "I mean, only dragons speak it natively." "Are they learned?" Suddenly confronted with this question, he hesitated to answer, apparently recalling everything he had ever heard or known about dragons in his mind. "I don't know," he answered at last, "what do we know about them? Are they, like us, passed down from mother to son, from mother to son? Or like animals, taught certain things, but mostly born Know? We don’t even know this. But I guess, the dragon and the dragon language are one and the same existence.” "And they don't speak other languages." He nodded. "They don't have to be learned," he said. "They are languages." Therru went into the kitchen.One of her jobs was to make sure the firebox was filled at all times, and she went about her business, wrapping herself in a shearling coat and hat, going back and forth between the kitchen and the firewood room.She threw her arms full of firewood into the box by the corner of the chimney and started again. "What song is she singing?" asked Ged. "Therru?" "When she's alone." "But she never sang. She couldn't sing." "She sang in her own way, 'The West of the West...'" "Ah!" said Tenar, "that story! Ogion never told you of the Lady of the Charm?" "No," he said, "tell me." While she was spinning, she told him a story, and the snoring and hissing of the spinning wheel sang along with the words of the story.Finally, she said: "When Master Windkey told me that he came to find the 'Woman of Gont', I thought of her. But she must be dead by now. Anyway, how could a fisherwoman who was a dragon be Archmage!" "Well, Master Xingyi didn't say that there was a woman on Gont Island who was going to be an Archmage," said Ged.He mended a pair of extremely tattered trousers, and sat upright on the window sill, so as to grasp the glimmer of light in the dark sky.Half a month has passed since the return of the sun, and it is the coldest time. "Then what did he say?" "'The Woman of Gont.' You told me so." "But they are asking who will be the next Archmage." "Then the answer to that question was not obtained." "'A mage's argument never ends,'" Tenar said flatly. Ged bit off the end of the thread and twisted the useless end between his fingers. "I learned a little sophistry at Roke, too," he admitted, "but I guess it's not sophistry. A 'Woman of Gont' cannot be an Archmage. No woman can be an Archmage. When she does, she will destroy her What has become. The mages of Roke are men, and their power is man's power, and their knowledge is man's knowledge. Men are built on the same foundation stone as spells, and power belongs to men. If women have power, men are nothing but What is it but a fertile woman? And a woman will be nothing but a fertile man." "Ha!" breathed Tenar.After a while, he said a little cunningly: "Didn't there have been queens? Aren't they the daughters of strength?" "A queen is only a queen of women," said Ged. She snorted twice. "I mean, men give her power, men make women use their power. But it's not hers, is it? It's not 'She has power because she's a woman', it's 'She has power even though she's a woman' ’.” She nodded, stretched, and sat off the spinning wheel. "So what is woman power?" she asked. "I don't think we know." "When is a woman empowered by being a woman? I think it's in children. For a while..." "Perhaps at her house." She looks around the kitchen. "But the doors are closed," she said, "the doors are all locked." "Because you are precious." "Oh, yes. We are precious, as long as we have no power... I remember how I learned that lesson! Koshun threatened me, me, the First Priestess! I found myself helpless then. I am noble, but she There is power, from the man of the God King. It makes me so angry! And it scares me... Hibari discussed this with me. She said: 'Why are men afraid of women?'" "If the advantage is only based on the opponent's weakness, you will live in fear." Ged said. "Yes, but women seem to be afraid of their own advantages, afraid of themselves." "Has anyone taught them to trust themselves?" asked Ged, and as he spoke, Therru came in again to continue his work.He met Tenar's eyes. "No," she said, "we were not taught to trust." She watched the child pile firewood in the box. "If power is trust," she said, "I like the word. If it weren't for these arrangements: people outside the man, kings, masters, mages, and masters, everything would seem meaningless. True power, true freedom, lies in trust, rather than brute force." "It's like children trust their parents," he said. The two were silent. "It is the way of the world," he said, "that even trust corrupts. The men of Roke trust themselves and each other. Their power is pure, so pure that they mistake it for wisdom. They cannot Imagine yourself making mistakes." She looked up at him.He had never talked about Roke this way, completely objective and detached. "Maybe they need a woman to point that out," she said, and he smiled. 她重新转起纺轮。“我还是不明白为什么。如果能有女王，为什么不能有女大法师。” 瑟鲁凝神倾听。 “扇火止沸，炊沙成饭。”格得说道，一句弓忒成语。“王由他人赋予权力，而法师的力量是他自己的，是他自己。” “而且是男性力量。因为我们甚至不知道女人的力量是什么。好吧，我懂了。可是无论如何，他们为什么不能找个大法师——一个男大法师？” 格得研究长裤褴褛的内侧缝边。“嗯，”他说：“如果形意师傅不是回答他们的问题，便是回答他们没问的问题。也许他们应该问。” “这是个谜语吗？”瑟鲁问道。 “是的，”恬娜说：“但我们不知道谜面是什么，只知道谜底是：弓忒岛上的女人。” “有很多。”瑟鲁思索一刻后说，显然心满意足，走出门，搬运下一批柴火。 格得看着她离开。“一切都改变了，”他说：“一切……恬娜，有时候我想，我在想黎白南的王治是否只是开端。道……而他是道的守护者，不是过客。” “他看来那么年轻。”恬娜温柔说道。 “跟莫瑞德当年遇上黑船时一样年轻。跟我一样年轻，我在……”他住口不言，透过窗户看着光秃树木外的灰白冰冻田野。“或是你，恬娜，在那黑暗的地方……年轻或老是什么呢？我不知道。有时我感觉自己仿佛活了一千年，有时我感觉自己的人生像透过墙壁隙缝的一瞥惊鸿。我死过，也重生过，在旱域、在太阳下的这里，不只一次。而《创世歌》告诉我们，我们曾回归，并将永远回归源头。而源头永不止歇。『惟死亡，得再生……』我带着山羊在山上时，想着这点，白昼似乎永无止境，但在夜幕降临前，时间又像静止不动，然后又是早晨……我领会羊的智慧。所以我想，我悲哀什么？我哀悼谁？大法师格得吗？为什么牧羊人鹰会为他感到哀伤羞辱？我做了什么该感到羞辱的事吗？” “没有，”恬娜说：“没有，永远不会！” “喔，会的，”格得说：“人类的伟大奠于耻辱，由其而生。因此，牧羊人鹰为大法师格得哭泣，同时也尽其所能，如牧童般照顾羊群……” 一会儿后，恬娜微笑。她略为害羞地说：“蘑丝说你像才十五岁。” “我想应该差不多。欧吉安在秋天为我命名，来年夏天我便去了柔克……那男孩是什么？一份空无……一种自由。” “瑟鲁是谁，格得？” 他没回答，直到她以为他不会回答时，才说：“被如此创造……她还能有什么自由？” “所以我们便是我们的自由？” "I think so." “你力量满灌时，仿佛得到人类最顶级的自由。但付出了什么代价？什么让你自由？而我……我被创造，像陶土一样，被那些女人的意志塑造。她们服侍太古力，或是服侍建立所有仪式、道法、场所之男人，我分不清楚该是如何。然后我自由了，与你还有欧吉安一道，在那片刻。但那不是我的自由。它只给了我选择，而我做了选择。我选择像陶土一般塑造自己，好用于农庄、农夫及我们的孩子上。我将自己塑成容器，我明白它的形状，但不明白陶土；生命舞动我，我认识舞步，但我不知道舞者是谁。” “而她，”格得在长长沉默后说，“如果她有朝一日能起舞……” “人们会惧怕她。”恬娜悄声道。尔后孩子进了屋，谈话主题便转向在火炉边盒中发胀的面包面团。他们如此交谈，安静冗长，从一件事到另一件，回顾、反覆，超过短暂半日，用语言将两人生命中那些未曾分享的岁月、行事、思绪，纺织，缝合为一。然后，他们将再度沉默，工作、思考、梦想，身旁伴着沉默的孩子。 冬季如此度过，直到羔羊诞生的季节降临。白昼延长转亮时，工作暂时变得十分沉重。尔后，燕子从阳光下的岛屿，从南陲有戈巴登星闪亮在终结星座之处飞来，但燕子间彼此的絮语，只讲述开始。