Chapter 2 second quarter

January 6, 2201 I've been down for the past two days and I've been feeling so tired, oh so tired.I know this is a physical and psychological process that every mother must go through, but I still can't get rid of this depression. The worst was this morning.I woke up earlier than Richard, and when I woke up, I lay quietly on the sleeping mat and looked at Simone.She was sleeping peacefully in a cradle against the wall.I love her, but I can't predict her future.Her birth brought us only three days of joy.I looked at her blankly, many unanswerable questions lingering in my mind.What kind of life will you have, my little Simone?As your parents, how can we make you happy?

My dear daughter, you live in a giant alien spaceship with your parents and their good friend Michael O'Toole.These three adults in your life are Earth astronauts, crew members of the spaceship Newton.About a year ago, the "Newton" was sent to investigate the small world of Rama, a cylindrical spacecraft.In order to avoid being destroyed by the nuclear bomb launched from the earth, Rama had to change its flight course.Since then, your father, mother, and General O'Toole have been the only humans on this alien ship. Above our cave is an island city with mysterious skyscrapers - New York.A sea of ​​frozen cylinders - encircling the massive spaceship and dividing it in half.According to your father's calculations, at this moment we are moving along a hyperbolic orbit around Jupiter and will eventually leave the solar system.We don't know where it's going, or who built this spaceship for what.We only know that there are also unidentified occupants living here, some of them are full of hostility towards us.

I've been thinking about this over and over again for the past two days, and each time I come to the same conclusion: as a mature person, it is wrong to bring a helpless, innocent little life into such an environment that we know little about and cannot control. An unforgivable thing. I cried in the morning when I realized it was my 37th birthday.Tears rolled down my cheeks silently.Looking back on the past, I couldn't help crying anymore.I am very sad, for Simone, but also for myself.I can't imagine what our magnificent blue planet Earth will be like in Simone's future.I kept asking myself: "Why would a child be born in such an unmanageable situation?"

The two men weren't much help this morning, they tried to make me feel better, but it was all in vain.What they did only added to my depression.Why, when faced with an unhappy woman, do almost all men assume that the woman's unhappiness has something to do with them?I don't think it's fair.Michael, who has three children, can understand how I am feeling, while Richard clearly thinks my tears are tormenting him.When he woke up he was terrified to see me crying.At first he thought I was sick and suffering from pain.When I told him I was just in a bad mood, his worries disappeared instantly.I stated that my bad mood had nothing to do with him, that I would not blame him, and told him my worries about Simone's future, and he just listened in silence.I admit I've gone too far, but he doesn't seem interested in anything I say, just keeps saying that Simone's future won't be like ours, and that my melancholy won't solve the problem.After an hour of difficult exchanges, Richard came to an apt conclusion: There was really nothing he could do.Just leave me alone!

(six hours later) I feel much better.My birthday is over in three hours.I fed Simone after the birthday party and now she is asleep next to me. Fifteen minutes ago, Michael went to his room to rest.Richard, who had also been working all day improving the baby's diaper, was tired and fell asleep within five minutes of lying down. Richard enjoyed operating the computer in our room, communicating with the Rama people via the keyboard, and sorting everything out.We never saw, nor did we know if any Ramas actually received our request to order their factories to make what we needed.Our communication with the Ramas was complex and straightforward.It is complicated because we have to display pictures and precise mathematical, physical, chemical and quantitative formulas on a black display screen; it is straightforward because the syntax of the sentences we input through the keyboard is quite simple.Our commonly used sentences are: "We are willing to..." "We want to..." (Of course we cannot accurately translate our request. Out of politeness, we will not use instructions such as: "Give me..."), This is followed by a detailed description of what we want.

The difficulty is that simple everyday objects such as soap, paper, cups, etc. are difficult to express in chemical formulas.Due to the inability to communicate smoothly with the Rama people, we cannot obtain satisfactory necessities of life.This bothers every one of us who live on this spaceship. One morning, Richard announced that he was leaving our cave to visit the military cabin of the Newton, hoping to find there the scientific database data stored in the computer, which would help us to accurately communicate with the Rama. Bring back the exchanged information.At the same time we also need some delicious food.We struggled to survive and maintain our health on chemical formulations provided by the Rama, but most of these foods were bitter and unpalatable.

To be fair, the people of Rama have always been responsive to our needs.We only have a rough idea of ​​the basic chemical components that our bodies need, but we haven't studied in detail the complex biochemical changes that occur when we ingest food.Eating was quite a pain at first, swallowed only out of necessity, and more than once we vomited. When I was pregnant, I also endured frequent bouts of abdominal pain.But I don't want to be left alone when two men have to go out and trudge across the ice, working hard.I also know that it is impossible for the two of them to go out alone, and only when they walk together can they help each other.We discussed at length the extent of possible damage to the USS Newton's military module.It was just outside Rama, completely exposed to the nuclear heat wave outside the protective net.Coupled with the Rama sensor, we observed the shape of the military cabin several times on the black screen.Finding no structural damage, Richard speculated that the spacecraft Rama may have inadvertently protected the military module from a nuclear blast so that its interior might not have suffered radiation damage.

I'm not so optimistic about the outlook.I worked with environmental engineers to design the shields for the spacecraft.I know the sensitivity of every subsystem of the Newton to radiation.The scientific database may be intact, but the food is definitely contaminated with radiation. Two men were going to the military cabin for a probe, and I was no longer afraid to be left alone.I'm more worried that they won't come back together or come back with one less person.Not entirely because of the fear of harassment by eight-legged spiders or other alien creatures, I was thinking about issues related to the environment.What should Simone and I do if Rama suddenly starts up or some other unfortunate event happens and Richard and Michael don't make it back?

Richard and Michael assured me that they would only take a look inside the military cabin and return quickly, and that they would not take any chances.At dawn they set off. On the third day after they left I was feeling bored, and at this time there came from outside the cave the nasty sound of brushes rubbing against metal surfaces, accompanied by frequent whining.You can't be wrong, it's an octospider!Remember Richard once said. The octospider is a nocturnal creature, so we built a fence at the entrance of the cave to prevent uninvited guests from visiting.When I heard this sound coming from all around the cave, Richard's reasoning made me shudder, and I was terrified, holding Simone tightly, waiting for the dawn, waiting for Richard and Michael to return.They came back at dawn.

The three of us hugged each other tightly and kissed each other.They began to tell me about their "great journey": all went well, the display showed that a small amount of radiation swept the military cabin, so they didn't stay there for long, and they didn't bring any food back. Fortunately, science The database remains intact.Richard transferred the data from the database to our laptops via a zip program and returned with a large backpack full of tools. After returning from the military cabin, Richard and Michael worked non-stop.With the help of the chemical information in the database, it is easier for us to get what we need from the Rama people.I even tried to add some simple and harmless organic chemical elements to the food, which greatly changed the taste of the food.Michael fixed his house down the hall, Simone's cradle was done, and the bathroom was improved.In such an environment, our living conditions should be nothing to choose from.Maybe in the near future we'll still be... oh, Simone is crying, it's time to feed her.

My birthday is over in half an hour.Looking back, I'm pretty pessimistic.My birthday is the most important day of the year for me.While Christmas and New Years are important too, they are joys that everyone can celebrate and share in, birthdays are one's own holiday.I usually use my birthday to reflect and look back on the road I have traveled. I can still remember every birthday since I was 5 years old.Looking at the photos taken on previous birthdays, nostalgia immediately flooded my heart.I blame myself for not being able to provide Simone with a stable life and a good growing environment, but I hope she can experience this extraordinary life with us.Emotions bind children to their parents. I've had similar amazing experiences with my parents and first daughter Genevieve before. Twenty-seven years ago when I was only 10 years old, my mother's death hit me hard.I still remember the last time my mother spent my birthday with me.My parents and I went to Paris by train.My father looked handsome in his Italian suit.The mother wore a colorful dress with her head crossed, and she looked a lot like Princess Serufo.This is what my mother wore when she married my father.We got out of the car and ate in a fancy restaurant, then walked to a theater where we saw a West African dance performance performed by black people.We were allowed to go backstage after the show, and my mother introduced me to a tall, dark-skinned female dancer.She was one of my mother's cousins ​​in Ivory Coast. Listening to their conversation in Serufu native language, I remembered that I also learned this language three years ago, but I don't remember much.I watched in amazement at the vivid expression on my mother's face, the way she always spoke to people from her hometown.At that time, I was just a 10-year-old kid, and I hoped to have a birthday party with my classmates.On the way home that day, I looked disappointed. "Don't be sad, Nicole, we're giving you a birthday party next year. Your father and I want to take this opportunity for you to reconnect with the other half of your blood. You're French and have always lived in France , but with half Serufo blood, its roots are deeply rooted in the land of West Africa." My mother said to me. Recalling the "Ivory Coast Dance" performed by my mother's cousin, I imagined that I would take 10-year-old Simone into a beautiful theater.My hallucinations quickly faded.In fact, the very concept of "theater" may never have practical meaning to my daughter.There is no theater in the orbit of Mars, which is incredible! I cried because Simone would never get to know her grandma and grandpa, only seeing them in photos and videos, and it all seemed like a fairy tale in her life.She will never understand the joy that my mother's sweet voice brings to people, and she will never see the kindness in my father's eyes. After my mother passed away, my father carefully arranged every birthday for me. We had just moved into our villa in Beauvais on our twelfth birthday.In the snow, my father walked with me in the garden.My father assured me that he would be there for me when I needed him.I held my father's hand tightly, crying that I was afraid he would leave me too. I thought again of my birthday last year, when Henry and I had an unexpected reunion next to a cabin in a small town on the French border.He politely asked me if he was the father of Geno Viève, but I failed to satisfy his curiosity.And then on the way home I wondered if it was fair for her to hide from her the fact that her father was the King of England?Was it really that important to my self-esteem and dignity to hide the fact that she was a princess from my daughter?These questions ran through my mind, staring blankly out the window at the dark night.At this time, Geno Viève climbed onto my berth, grinning and said to me: "Happy birthday, Mom." I hugged her excitedly, and almost blurted out to tell her the real life experience.If I had known that there would be an accident on the "Newton", I would have told her then.I miss you, Geno Viève!I hope I bid you my last farewell. Memory is a rather peculiar thing.When I was sad and depressed, the memory deepened my loneliness and isolation.Now that I am emotionally stable, reliving the same memories brings me joy again.I no longer feel bad that Simone has not been able to go through the same path in life as I have, she has her own unique life, completely different from mine.All I need to do is to give her more care and love to make her life more meaningful and memorable.