Chapter 73 Chapter 72

"You know," said Glenn Bateman, looking at Grand Junction in the morning light, "I've heard the expression 'disappointed,' but never understood what it meant, and I think I do now." He Looking at his breakfast, there are a few joints of synthetic sausages from Morning Star Farm, grinning. "No, it's quite good," said Ralph sincerely. "You ought to have some of the food we have in the army." They sat around the campfire that Larry had rekindled an hour before.They're all in warm clothes and gloves, and they're both drinking their second cups of coffee.The temperature was about 35 degrees Fahrenheit, and the sky was cloudy and cold.Kojak moved as close to the fire as possible.

"I've eaten," said Gran, standing up. "Give me your leftovers. I'll bury them." Stu handed him the paper plate and cup. "Traveling is hard work, isn't it, bald? I bet you haven't been in such a good shape since your 20s." "Yes, 70 years ago." Larry finished, laughing. "Stu, I've never been like this before," grinned Grann, picking up the dead sticks and throwing them into the plastic bag he was going to bury. "I never intended to be like this. I don't care though. After 50 years of being unknowable, it looks like my destiny is to follow the god of an old black woman to death. If it's my destiny, it's mine End of story. I'd rather walk than take a car if I really thought about it. Walking will take me longer, so I'll live longer... A few days, at least, let me, gentlemen, I throw the leftovers away."

They watched him walk to the edge of the camp with a trenching tool.This "Colorado Infantry Brigade Westward Operation," as Grann called it, was the hardest for Gran himself.He was the oldest, 12 years older than Ralph Brentner.But he ignored the difficulties.He often satirizes others gently, he is unusually calm, he is able to follow everyone day after day, which in itself has an impact on others, he is already 57, Stu saw him rubbing his hands on the last 3 cold mornings , and grinned while rubbing. "Is it bad?" Stu asked him yesterday, about an hour after they set off.

"Take aspirin. It's arthritis, you know, but it won't be as bad as it is in five or six years." "You really think he's going to catch us?" Glenn Bateman said something special: "I'm not afraid of evil." Then they ended their conversation. Now they heard him cursing as he dug in the frozen ground. "He's interesting, isn't he?" said Ralph. Larry nodded. "Yeah, I thought the same thing. I always thought those college teachers were cowards, but this guy clearly wasn't. Know what he said when I asked him why he didn't throw the trash on the curb? Said we don't have to do that kind of thing anymore Saying we did too much of that kind of thing."

Kojak jumped up to see what Gran was doing.Glenn's voice came over, "Okay, here you are, you slob. I was wondering where you were. Want me to bury you too?" Larry smiled and removed the odometer from his belt.Bought this at Golden Sporting Goods.Determine the length of their march and pin it to your waist like a carpenter's ruler.Every night he recorded their miles traveled in a book with frayed edges. "Can I see that page?" Stu asked. "Of course," Larry said, and handed it over. Larry wrote on the cover: Boulder to Vegas, 771 miles. Below is: Date Miles Total Mileage

September 6, 28.1 28.1 September 7 27.0 55.1 September 8, 26.5 81.6 September 9, 28.2 109.8 September 10 27.9 137.7 September 11 29.1 166.8 September 12 28.8 195.6 September 13 29.5 225.1 September 14 32.0 257.1 September 15th 32.6 289.7 September 16 35.5 325.2 September 17 37.2 362.4 Stu took out a small piece of paper from his bag and did some subtraction. "So, we're going faster than we started. But we've got 400 more miles to go. Shit. We're not halfway there yet." Larry nodded. "Going fast is right. We're going downhill. And Gran's right, you know. Why are we hurrying? When we get there, the guy's going to kill us."

"I don't believe she's the one who sent us," Stu said quietly. As Larry scaled his odometer, it made four distinct clicks.Stu covered the embers of the campfire with earth.The morning ritual is over.They have been on the road for 12 days.It seemed to Stu that life was going to go on like this forever: Gran complaining about the food, Larry logging the mileage in his dick, two cups of coffee, someone burying yesterday's leftovers, others burying the fire. .This has formed a law, a good law.You forget what they're going to do, and that's fine.In the morning, Gran felt the sky was far away from him—very clear, but very far away, like a photograph under a metal box.But at night, when night falls and the moon rises, it feels so close, almost palpable.At those times, when his faith in Mama Abagil turned into extreme suspicion, he wanted to wake them up, tell them it was a fool's job, that they were fighting the windmills with spears, like Don Quixote, and their last Fortunately, we stopped at the next town and got on the car to return.While they still can, they better hold on to a little light, a little love - because Flagg only allows them to have a little.

But that was at night.By morning everything continued as usual.He looked at Larry thoughtfully, wondering if Larry would miss his Lucy at night.Dreaming about her and thinking... When Gran returned to camp, Kojak followed him, and he said, "How is it, Kojak?" Kojak flicked his tail. "He said Las Vegas," Gran said. "Come on." They climbed onto the shoulder of Interstate 70, which leads to Grand Junction, and began their daytime journey. There was a freezing rain later that afternoon, and they were both drenched and in no mood to talk anymore.Larry walked on alone with his hands in his pockets.At first he was thinking of Harold Lauder, whose body they had found two days earlier—they seemed to have reached an agreement not to talk about Harold—but his thoughts eventually turned to another man he had met. that person.

They found the man east of the Eisenhower Tunnel.The traffic there is heavy and the stench of dead people is very strong.He was wearing jeans and a silk trimmed western shirt.Around the Austin car lay several dead wolves.The man was half-stretched on the passenger seat of Austin's car, with a dead wolf on his chest.The man's hand pinched the wolf's neck, and the wolf's bloody mouth stuck to his neck.Recalling the scene at that time, they thought that a group of wolves came down from the high mountain and encountered this man and besieged him.The man had a gun in his hand.He shot and killed several wolves as he retreated to the Austin car.

How long was the stalemate before hunger forced him out of hiding? Larry didn't know, and didn't want to know.But he saw how thin the man was.A week, maybe.He was heading west to join the ranks of the man in black, but whoever he was, Larry didn't want such a terrible fate to befall him.He had said so to Stu two days after they had gone through the tunnel. "Why did the pack of wolves take so long, Stu?" "I do not want to know." "I mean, if they're looking for something to eat, can't they find it?" "I think so, eh." It was a mystery to him, and the question was always on his mind, but he knew he would never find the answer.No matter who that person is, he has been hiding in the car.Finally hungry and thirsty, he opened the passenger door.A wolf jumped up and bit him by the throat, but the man pinched the wolf to death before he died himself.

Through the Eisenhower Tunnel (the four of them were roped together), in the eerie darkness, Larry recalled his experience through the Lincoln Tunnel.Only now it wasn't Rita Blackmore's face that haunted his eyes but the man's distorted face when he died with the wolf. Was the wolf sent out to kill the man? But the idea is too outlandish.He wanted to put all these thoughts behind him and just focus on driving, but it was difficult. They camped that night next to Loman, fairly close to the Utah line.The dinner was dry food and boiled water, the same as the usual food—they followed the instructions in the letter from Abagal's mother: wear durable clothes and go.Do not bring anything. "It's going to get worse in Utah," Ralph said, "and I guess that's where we'll find out if God has really blessed us. There's a huge area. Over 100 miles, no towns, not even gas stations and Neither does the coffee shop." He didn't seem troubled by the prospect. "Where's the water?" Stu asked. Ralph shrugged. "Not enough. I'm going to bed." Larry went to bed too.Gran stayed there to smoke.Stu had a few cigarettes and decided to smoke one too.They smoked in silence for a while. "It's been a long way from New Hampshire," Stu concluded. "It's not that far from here to Texas." Stu laughed. "No no." "You miss Franny a lot, I guess." "Yeah. Miss her, worry about her, worry about the baby. Worry more after dark." Grant puffed out a puff of smoke. "You can't change anything, Stuart." "I know. But I worry." "Of course." Gran knocked the soot off the rocks. "A ridiculous thing happened last night, Stu. All day I wondered if it was real, or a dream, or something else." "what happened?" "I woke up at night and Kojak was on the other side of the fire, his fur bristling. I told him to shut up, but he ignored me. He was looking to my right, and I thought, Is it the wolves? Ever since I saw the man Larry called a werewolf..." "Yeah, that's not good." "But there's nothing there. I can see clearly. There's nothing in the direction of his barking." "He smelled something, that's all." "Yeah, but weird things still happen. After a few minutes I started to feel...yes, weird. I thought there was someone on the embankment of the boulevard, and was staring at me, at all of us. I thought I almost see it, I could if I squinted in there. But I don't want to because I feel like him." "Feels like him?" "Feels like Flagg, Stuart." "Probably nothing," Stu said after a while. "Of course it feels like something. Kojak feels like something too." "Okay, what can we do if he's watching us?" "Nothing. But I don't like it. I don't like that he can observe us. If that's the case, it makes me uncomfortable." Stu finished his cigarette and extinguished it carefully at the edge of the rock, but hadn't gone to his sleeping bag yet.He looked at Kojak, who was crouched by the fire, nose on paws, watching them. "Harold's dead," said Stu finally. "Yes." They have nothing more to say.They talked of Harold's tragic death.Him and Nadina.Must have passed the Forvilante Pass, because Harold's motorcycle was still around - just some wreckage - and as Ralph said, nothing bigger than a kid's car could go through the Eisenhower Tunnel. vehicles cannot pass.The bastard did a good job, but Harold still held a notebook tightly in his hand. The .39 stuck in his mouth like a grotesque lollipop, and though they didn't bury Harold, Stu took the gun away.His movements are very gentle.Seeing how cleanly the man in black had killed Harold, and how carelessly he had thrown his body aside, fueled Stu's hatred for Flagg even more.It made him feel like they were marching unprepared like children, he felt they had to go, Harold's dead body stimulated him as much as the werewolf's stiff face stimulated Larry.He finds out that he wants to pay Flagg blood for Nick, Susan, and Harold...but he feels more and more that he won't be able to get that chance. But you want to spy on us, he thought with a smile.You want to know if we're within range to attack you, you weirdo. Gran stood up, feeling a little uncomfortable. "I'm going to sleep, East Texas. It's not a good place for me to stay." "How's the arthritis?" Gran smiled and said, "Not too bad," but limped when he got back into his sleeping bag. Not another cigarette, Stu thought--two or three a day.By the end of the week his stockpile was gone -- but he lit one anyway.It wasn't too cold this evening, but anyway, in such an elevated area, at least summer was over.This made him feel a little sad, for he felt strongly that he would not see another summer.When the summer began, he was working as a laborer in a factory that made pocket calculators.He has always lived in a small town called Arnett, and in his spare time he goes to the gas station in Harper Scombe, listening to other people express their emotions about the economy, the government, and difficult times.Stu guessed that none of them really knew what a hard time was.When he finished smoking, he threw the butt of the cigarette into the fire. "Sleep well, Franny," he said, getting into his sleeping bag.In his dreams he dreamed that something was approaching their camp, something was watching them viciously.It might be a wolf with a human mind, or a crow, or a weasel, coming here for the pleasure of it.Or maybe just a presence, a watching eye. I am not afraid of any evil, he said to himself in his dream.Ah, even if I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I am not afraid of evil.not afraid. At last the dream disappeared and he fell asleep. They hit the road early the next morning, and Larry started counting the miles again, where the highway winds its way up the rolling western hills into Utah.They camped west of Harley Wintermore, and for the first time there was silence between them, both oppressed.Ralph Brentner thought that night: We're in the West now.We have left our sphere of influence and entered his sphere of influence. That night Ralph dreamed that a red one-eyed wolf came out of the moor to watch them.Go away, shouted Ralph.Go away, we are not afraid.We are not afraid of you. By 2 o'clock in the afternoon on September 21, they passed Saiga.According to Stu's pocket map, the next big town was Green River.There will be no towns for a long time after that.Then, as Ralph said, they might find out if God was with them. "Honestly," Larry said to Gran, "I'm not so worried about the food, I'm worried about the water. Most people keep a lot of that stuff in the car." "Maybe God will give us showers," Gran laughed. Larry looked at the cloudless blue sky and dismissed the idea. "I sometimes think she was babbling and delirious on her deathbed." "She could," Grant said. "If you read the Bible, you'll find that God often chooses to speak through the dying or insane. It seems—let's talk behind closed doors—that there's a psychological The truth of the matter. A madman or a dying man undergoes a major change of mind. A healthy man may prophesy wildly." "God's way," Larry said, "I know. We see black through the glass, so that's black glass to me. But I still don't understand. Why we can drive a week to get there Going forward in this stupid way. But since we're going to do stupid things, I think we'd better do it in a stupid way." "What we're doing has been done before," Gran said, "and I think it makes a lot of sense psychologically and sociologically. I don't know if it's God, But they make sense with people." "What's the point!" Stu and Ralph also came over to listen. "There are some Native American tribes who do 'manifestations' at their bar mitzvahs. Before you become a real man, you go out into the field with your bare hands. You kill an animal and sing two Songs, one of the great gods, and the other of your powers as hunter, rider, warrior, and yet to manifest. You shall not eat. You shall improve yourself—both mentally and physically— Waiting for the vision to come. And in the end, of course, it came." He paused. "Hunger is a great fantasy." "You think mother sent us out to wait for a vision?" Ralph asked. "It's possible to gain power through this kind of ordeal," Gran said, "and letting go of things is symbolic, you know. When you let go of things, you let go of things that are symbolically associated with them. You start to clean up... " Larry shook his head slowly: "I don't agree." "Okay, let's take an example of a knowledgeable person. Break his TV. What does he do at night?" "Read," said Ralph. "To see friends," said Stu. "Listen to the music," Larry said with a smile. "Of course, all of those things," Gran said, "but he still lost the TV, and there was a void in his life where he usually watched TV. Subconsciously he still thought, I'm going to watch TV with a beer at 9 o'clock." ...and when he goes there and sees the empty TV cabinet, he's going to be very disappointed. Part of his everyday life is stripped away, isn't it?" "Yeah," said Ralph, "our TV went out for two weeks and I just didn't feel well until it got back to normal." "If he watches more TV he's more empty, and if he watches less he's less empty. But there's always something missing. Now take all his books, friends, music, and remove All content, only for him to see. It is a process of emptying and destroying ego. Your ego, gentlemen...they will become like window glass. Or better, empty wine glass." "But what's the problem?" asked Ralph. "Why do you make such a detour?" “If you read the Bible, there are many prophets who used to go out into the field, it’s a tradition—Old Testament mystical journeys. Most of them went out for 40 days and nights, and there’s a Hebrew saying that goes Putting it this way: 'Nobody knows exactly how long he walked, but it was a long time.' Does that remind you of anyone?" "Of course, Mama Abagil," said Ralph. "Now think of yourself as a battery. You know, you are. Your brain converts chemical energy into electricity. In this way, your muscles also run on tiny charges -- when you exercise something called The caproylcholine chemical releases the charge, and when you stop, another chemical, cholinesterase, is produced. Cholinesterase neutralizes the caproylcholine, and you lose your energy again. Good stuff. Otherwise, once you start scratching your nose, you can't stop. Well, the point is, anything you think, anything you do, runs off the battery, like the battery in a car .” They all listened carefully. "Watching TV, reading, chatting with friends, eating... all run on batteries. Normal life - at least that of Western civilization in general - is like a car with windows, brakes, seats all controlled by electricity , all good stuff. But the better stuff you have, the better the battery will charge. Right?" "Yes," said Ralph, "but not even a giant Delco battery can be overcharged in a Cadillac." "But what we're doing is removing the battery. We're charging it." Ralph said uneasily, "If you charge a car battery too long, it'll blow up." "Yes," Grant agreed, "it's the same with people. The Bible tells us the story of Isaiah and Job and others, but it doesn't tell us how many prophets came back from the field after their visions. I guess there were some. But I respect the human intellect and psychology, despite the back and forth sometimes like here in East Texas..." "Don't include me, brother." Stu shouted. "Of course, the capacity of the human mind is much greater than the largest Delco battery. I think it can reach almost infinity. Sometimes it may exceed infinity." They walked in silence for a while, thinking about this question. "Are we changing?" Stu asked quietly. "Yes," Gran replied, "yes, I think we are." "We've lost weight," Ralph said, "look at you guys. And me, I used to have a beer belly. Now I can look down on my toes again. Actually, I can see My whole foot is gone." "It's mental," said Larry suddenly, embarrassed when everyone else was looking at him, but went on, "I've been feeling this way for about the last week or so, and I don't understand. Maybe now I understand." ...I feel high, like I've just been on a drug. You take a little drug and you feel like your normal mind is a little bit out of your control. I actually feel like I'm thinking better than I used to, but it's still high." Larry laughed. "Probably just hunger." "Hunger is part of it," Grant agreed, "but not all of it." "I, always feel hungry," said Ralph, "but it's not too important. I feel fine." "Me too," Stu said, "physically, I've never felt better in years." "When you empty your body, you empty it of all the impurities floating on it," says Gran. "Excess. Impure. Of course it feels good. It's a whole-body pleasure." "You're making an interesting analogy, old man." "Maybe not very polite, but accurate." Ralph asked, "Will that help us deal with him?" "Of course," said Gran, "it's for him. I don't have any doubts about it. But we'll have to wait and see, won't we?" They move on.Kojak ran out of the brush and followed them for a while, his paws resting on Interstate 70.Larry bent down and stroked his fur. "Kojak," he said, "did you know you're a battery? Just a big old Delco battery that's alive?" Kojak didn't seem to know or care, but a wag of his tail proved he was on Larry's side. They camped fifteen miles west of Sega, eating nothing for the first time since leaving Boulder, as if to practice what they had talked about in the afternoon.Gran poured the last of their instant coffee into the water sachet, and they drank it hand in hand, sips at a time.They hadn't seen a car in the last 10 miles they'd traveled. The next day, the morning of the 22nd, they came across a Ford van with four bodies—two of them children.There were two boxes of animal biscuits in the car, and a big bag of moldy potato chips.Animal crackers look a little better.They ate for 5 days. "Don't gobble it up, Kojak," Gran ordered. "Bad dog! Where's your manners? If you don't have manners—I can tell now—what about your tact?" Kojak was wagging his tail jerkily, eyes fixed on the animal cracker, and it was clear that he was neither polite nor tactful now. "Eat it, or you'll starve," said Gran, throwing him his last morsel, a tiger biscuit.Kojak gobbled it up. Larry saved all his rations—about 10 animal biscuits to share.He eats slowly, savoring. "Have you noticed," he said, "that animal biscuits have a slight lemony taste? I remember eating them as a kid, but never noticed until now." Ralph moved the last two biscuits back and forth in his hand and now chewed one too. "Yeah, you're right. It smells like lemons. You know, I wish Nick was here. I don't mind one more person sharing these animal biscuits." Stu nodded.They ate the animal biscuits and continued on their way.That afternoon they found a Great Western Market Supply van, apparently bound for Green River, that had flipped over on a downhill road, with the driver sitting upright dead behind the wheel.They found a tin of ham in the back, but no one seemed too eager to eat it.Gran said he didn't like the taste of the ham--not spoiled, but too greasy.It turned his stomach.He can only eat a small slice.Ralph said he'd better have two or three boxes of animal biscuits, and they all laughed.Even Kojak just ate a little and went out. They camped east of Green River that night, and it snowed a little in the morning. After noon on the 23rd, they came to the washed out road.It had been overcast and very cold—cold enough for snow, Stu thought—and not just light snow. The four of them stood on the sidelines, Kojak at Gran's feet, looking down and across.Somewhere north of here a dam must have burst, or there must have been a series of continuous summer rainstorms.In any case, there was a massive flood along the San Rafael Mountains, which for many years was just a dry riverbed.Floodwaters washed away 30 feet of concrete on I-70.The gully is approximately 50 feet deep with broken embankments of sand and gravel.There is still a puddle of muddy water below. "Jesus," said Ralph, "someone should report this to the Utah Highway Department." Larry pointed and said, "Look over there." They looked out over the open field, where there were some oddly shaped, weathered pillars and boulders scattered around.About 100 yards down the San Rafael Mountains there is a mass of guardrails, cables, and a mass of asphalt.One of them is upturned like God's finger, with a complete white line on it. Gran looked down at the tile-covered section, hands in pockets, an absent-minded expression on his face.Stu whispered, "Can you do it, Gran?" "Of course, I think so." "How's the arthritis?" "It's better." He smiled, "but honestly, it's better too." They have no rope to hang people from.Stu went down first, moving carefully.Sometimes his feet loosen, rolling off pieces of rock and clods.At one point he felt his foot was completely empty and almost fell to the floor.It saved his life by reaching out and grabbing a rock outcropping, his feet on a solid patch of soil.Kojak jumped over him, kicking up bits of dirt.After a while Kojak stood at the bottom, wagging his tail and barking docilely at Stu. "Shut up, you dog," Stu yelled, and carefully lowered to the bottom. "I'll be next," Gran shouted, "I hear you calling my dog!" "Be careful, brother! Be careful! It's slippery." Gran came down slowly, bit by bit cautiously.Stu's heart tightened every time he saw the soil slip under Gran's worn Georgia shoes.Gran's hair coiled like silver threads in the breeze.It occurred to him that the first time he had seen Gran was painting on the side of the road in New Hampshire, his hair still grizzled. That's when Gran finally stepped onto the gully floor, and Stu was sure at least twice that Gran would fall.Stu took a long breath and patted him on the shoulder. "Take it easy," Gran said, bending down to stroke Kojak's fur. "Very worried," Stu told him. Ralph next, also cautiously, jumped down the last eight feet or so. "Boy," he said, "it's very loose. It'd be ridiculous if we didn't turn over and walk four or five miles to find a flat bank, wouldn't it?" "It's even more ridiculous if we're having another flood in a gully," Stu said. Larry came down nimbly and joined them in less than 3 minutes. "Who's going first?" he asked. "Why not you, since you're so nimble?" Gran said. "certainly." It took him a little longer, and he almost fell over on two slips, but he eventually reached the top and beckoned them. "Who's next?" Ralph asked. "Me," said Gran. Stu took his arm. "Listen," he said, "we can go up the stream and find a gentle slope like Ralph said." "And a waste of time? When I was a kid, I could climb up in 40 seconds and my pulse was no more than 70 at the top." "You're not a child now, Gran." "No, but I think I'm still strong." Before Stu could say anything, Gran had already started.He rested at 1/3 of the way and continued climbing.Halfway through the shale he was pressing on loosened and slipped, and Stu was sure he was going to fall to the bottom and hurt his joints again. "Oh, God..." Ralph hissed. Gran waved his arms for balance.He climbed the remaining 20 feet, took a break, and climbed up again.Near the top, a rock on his toe broke loose and he was about to fall, but luckily Larry was there.He grabbed Gran's arm and pulled him up. "No problem," Gran shouted down. Stu breathed a sigh of relief and smiled: "How's your pulse, brother?" "Over 90, I think," Grant admitted. Ralph climbed like a goat, taking every step carefully.After he got up, Stu began to climb. From the beginning of the climb to the time he fell, Stu always thought that this slope was easier to climb than the one they came down from, the hands and feet had better strength, and the slope was slower, but the surface of the slope was a mixture of sand and rock flakes , has been loosened by the humid climate.Stu didn't feel well, but climbed carefully. His chest was just past the sideline when the overhang under his left foot slid off.He felt himself slipping.Larry tried to grab his hand, but this time he missed it.Stu went to grab the ledge of the road, and he missed it too.He watched silly as he fell faster and faster.He gave up, feeling as insane as Wylie and Corow.All I need, he thought, is someone to sound the alarm before I hit the bottom. His knee touched something, and there was a pain.He scratched at the slope during his rapid fall, but had nothing but a hand of dirt. He let out a heavy breath like a blunt arrow or a wheel hitting a cobblestone.Freefalling from 10 feet, he heard a snap of his calf.Immediately it was excruciating pain.He yelled, and the sharp stones scraped his face and arms.He hit the injured leg again, and it felt like a pull.This time he didn't yell.This time he was screaming. He slid down the remaining 15 feet on his stomach, like a child on a slide.He sat on the muddy ground and his heart beat wildly.Legs were also scratched.Both coat and shirt came to the chin. broken.But how bad?It feels bad.At least two places, possibly more.And the knee is crooked too.Larry came down to the bottom of the slope, bouncing up and down as if laughing at what had happened to Stu.Then he knelt beside him and asked the same question Stu had asked himself just now. "How bad is it, Stu?" Stu looked at Larry on his elbows, his face white with dirt and terror. "I think I'll have three months to go," he said.He started wondering if he was going to throw up.He looked at the cloudy sky, clenched his fist and waved it towards the sky. "Oh shit!" he screamed. Ralph and Larry splinted his leg.Grant once made a bottle of what he called "arthritis pills," and gave Stu one. Stu didn't know what was in the pill, and Gran wouldn't tell, but the pain in his leg was fading away.He felt very peaceful, even serene.He felt them fading away now.He felt that their present lives were borrowed, not because they were going to Flagg, but because they had narrowly escaped from the "Captain's Journey."Anyway, he knew what had to be done.Larry had just stopped talking.They all looked at him nervously, to see what he had to say. What he said was very simple: "No." "Stu," said Grant softly, "you don't understand..." "I understand. I said no. Can't go back to Green River. No rope. No cars. It's against the rules of the game." "This is no game!" Larry yelled, "You're going to die here!" "You'll almost die in Nevada too, move on now. 4 hours of daylight left. Don't waste time." "We can't leave you," Larry said. "I'm sorry, but you want to. I'll tell you." "No. I'm charging now. Mama Abgail said if something happened to you..." "...You guys have to move on." "No. No." Larry turned to Grant and Ralph for support.They also looked at him hesitantly. Kojak sat by, watching the four, his tail rolled under his paws. "Listen, Larry," Stu said, "the whole operation is based on the premise that the old lady knows what she's saying. If you violate that, you screw things up." "Yes, that makes sense," said Ralph. "No, that doesn't make sense, you bastard," Larry said, bemoaning Ralph's Oklahoma accent. “斯图摔下去不是神的旨意，也不是那个黑衣人所为。这是土质疏松，仅此而已。仅仅是土松了！我不放开你，斯图。我不能把你丢下。” “是的，我们要放开他。”格兰平静地说。 拉里不相信地四处望了望，仿佛他被出卖了。“我以为你是他的朋友！” “我是。但那没有关系。” 拉里发出一阵歇斯底里的大笑走下一段冲沟。“你疯了！你知道吗？” “不，我没有。我们签过协议。我们站在阿巴盖尔妈妈临死的床前签过协议。那几乎意味着我们的死亡，而且我们也知道。我们理解这一协议。现在我们要无愧于这一协议。” “是的，天哪，我也想如此。我明白，不一定把他送回格林里弗，我们可以回到货车处，把他搁在车后，然后再上路……” “我们要走路。”拉尔夫说。他指着斯图说：“他没法走。” “对。好的。他摔坏了腿。我们要怎么做？像射马一样射死他？” “拉里……”斯图开始说。 没等他继续说，格兰抓住拉里的上衣拉到他跟前。“你想要救谁？”他的声音冷酷而又严竣。“斯图还是你自己？” 拉里看着他，嘴动了动。 “这非常简单，”格兰说，“我们不能呆下去……而他不能走。” “我拒绝接受。”拉里小声说。他的脸色惨白。 “这是测验，”拉尔夫突然说，“就是如此。” “神的测验，可能。”拉里说。 “投票，”斯图从地上说，“我赞成你们继续前进。” “我也同意，”拉尔夫说，“斯图，我很遗憾。但如果上帝保佑我们，可能他也会保佑你的……” “我不同意，”拉里说。 “你不是在考虑斯图，”格兰说，“你是在想挽救你自己，我想。但只有继续前进是正确的，拉里。我们必须如此。” 拉里用手背慢慢地擦嘴。 “让我们今晚待在这里，”他说，“让我们仔细考虑一下。” “不。”斯图说。 Ralph nodded.他和格兰互相看了一眼，然后格兰把那瓶“关节炎药丸”从口袋里拿出来放在斯图的手里。 “这里面有吗啡。超过3片到4片就可能致命。”他的眼睛盯着斯图的眼睛，“你明白了吗，东德克萨斯人？” "Yes. I understand." “你们在说什么？”拉里哭道，“天哪，你说了些什么？” “你不明白吗？”拉尔夫的语气中带着不满，拉里安静了一会儿。他的眼前又浮现出噩梦，仿佛是一个陌生人的脸在欢宴上：香烟，上上下下，游览。把她从睡袋里翻过身，看她已经死得僵硬了。嘴边流出绿色的呕吐物。 “不！”他大喊，试图从斯图手里夺过瓶子。 拉尔夫抓住他的肩膀。拉里耸耸肩。 “让他过来，”斯图说，“我要跟他谈。”拉尔夫还是没松手，犹豫地看着斯图。“放开他。” 拉尔夫放开手，但随时准备跳过去。 斯图说：“过来，拉里。蹲下。” 拉里走过来蹲在斯图旁边。他痛苦地看着斯图的脸。“这不正确，男子汉。当有人摔断了腿，你不能……你不能仅仅走开让那人去死。你不知道吗？嘿，男子汉……”他碰碰斯图的脸，“求求你，好好想一想。” 斯图抓住拉里的手，“你认为我疯了吗？” “不！不，但……” “你认为他们有权利去决定他们自己想做的事情吗？” “喔，伙计。”拉里说着开始笑了。 “拉里，你不能这样。我要你继续前进。如果你从维加斯出来，就沿这条路回来。可能上帝会派一个乌鸦来喂我，你不知道。我曾经在一本书上看到：一个人如果能得到水的话可以不吃东西活70天。” “不到那时候冬天就到了。即使你不使用药丸你也活不过3天。” “这不关你的事。你不用管了。” “别丢下我，斯图。” 斯图笑着说：“我要赶走你。” “笑话，”拉里说，然后站起身来，“法兰妮不会对我们这么说的。露西和迪克也不会。” 拉里说，“好，我们走。但要等到明天。我们今晚在这儿宿营。可能我们会做个梦……什么东西……” “没有梦，”斯图温柔地说，“没有根据。这没有用处的。你待上一个晚上而什么也不会发生，然后你想再待一个晚上，再一个晚上……你们现在该出发了。” 拉里从他们旁边走开，低着头，背对着他们。“好吧，”他最后以低得几乎听不到的声音说，“我们按照你说的做。上帝拯救我们的灵魂。” 拉尔夫来到斯图身旁跪下身来，“我们可以帮你什么，斯图？” 斯图笑道，“呀，所有的事情戈尔维达尔都写过了——那些有关林肯、阿伦·伯尔等的书。我总是读这些书。现在看来我有这个机会了。” 拉尔夫不自然地笑笑，“对不起，斯图，看来我多说了。” 斯图抱抱他的胳膊，然后拉尔夫走开了。格兰走了过来，他已经哭过了，而当他坐在斯图旁边时，他又开始哭了。 “来，朋友，”斯图说，“我会好好的。” “拉里是对的，很糟糕。说不定你就像马一样。” “你知道这是迫不得已。” “我猜想我知道，但谁真的知道呢？腿怎么样了？” “不疼了，现在。” “好，他拿着药丸。”格兰用胳臂擦擦眼睛，“再见，东德克萨斯人。认识你真不错。” 斯图把脸扭向一边，“别说再见，格兰。时间不早了，这已经挺幸运。你差一点就从上面摔下来，那样咱们就在这里玩牌过冬了。” “这并不长，”格兰说，“我感觉到，你呢？” 而且因为他感觉到，斯图转回脸看格兰。“呀，我会的，”他说，笑了一下，“但我不惧任何邪恶，是不是？” “对！”格兰说。他的声音已经低沉得几乎听不到了。“如果不得已就拉开栓子，斯图，别胡来。” "Will not." “再见，格兰。” 3个人站在冲沟的西侧，格兰往后看了一眼后开始往上爬。斯图也向上爬了爬。格兰随意地移动，几乎满不在乎，甚至不看他的脚。身下的土松了一两次。两次他都漠不关心地抓了抓，两次都没发生什么。当他到达顶端，斯图最后一次叫拉里。他看了看拉里的脸，异常平静，仿佛死去的哈罗德一样，眼睛警觉谨慎。那是一张决不放弃的脸，除非他想要放弃。 “你现在充电了，”斯图说，“你能处理吗？” “我不知道。我会尝试。” “你要做决定。” “会吗？看来原来的我太温顺了。”现在他的眼里失去了谴责的眼神。 “嗯，但那是唯一将会这么做的人。听着……他的人会抓你们的。” “嗯，我想他们会的。他们或是捉我们或是伏击我们，像狗一样杀死我们。” “不，我想他们会抓你们把你们带给他。这几天就会发生的，我想。你到维加斯时，千万要小心。等待。会来的。” “什么，斯图？什么会来？” “我不知道。不论我们为什么而来。准备好。当它来临时要知道。” “我们会回来找你的，如果我们能够的话。你知道。” “好，行。” 拉里迅速地上到堤岸上赶上那两位。他们站住朝下面挥手。斯图也挥了挥手，他们走开了。他们再也没有见到斯图·雷德曼。