Chapter 49 Chapter 47 Work

"It's so easy it's not even fun," Kyle complained. "You wanted to come here yourself." Ian reminded him. He and Ian sat in the back of the windowless delivery van, sorting through the non-perishable food and toiletries they'd collected from the store.It was noon, and the sun was shining on Wichita.The sun is not as hot as the Arizona desert, but more humid, and the air is full of flying bugs. It irritated Jared as he steered the car onto the highway out of town, careful to keep the speed in check. "Xiao Man, aren't you tired of shopping yet?" Ian asked me.

"No, I don't mind." "You always say that, what do you mind?" "I mind being away from Jamie. I mind being outside, a little bit, especially during the day, which is the opposite of claustrophobic. It's all too big, does that affect you guys too?" "Sometimes, we don't go out much during the day." "At least she can stretch her legs," Kyle said vaguely. "I don't know why you have to listen to her complain." "Because it's so unusual, it's more interesting than hearing you complain." I ignored them, and whenever Ian and Kyle got into an argument, it usually lasted for a while, and I checked, checked the map.

"Oklahoma City next?" I asked Jared. "There are a few smaller towns on the way, if you're ready," he replied, keeping his eyes on the road. "I'm ready." Jared was seldom distracted when he was out looting.Every time I managed to pull off yet another mission, Ian and Kyle would relax and joke around, but he wasn't like that.It made me laugh when they said that word -- mission, it sounded so daunting.In reality, it was just one trip to the store, like I'd done hundreds of times when I was living alone in San Diego. As Kyle said, it was too easy to be exciting.I pushed the shopping cart up and down the aisles.I smile back at the soul that smiles at me, and fill my shopping cart with non-perishable food.I tend to grab something fresh and ready to eat and give it to the men hiding behind the delivery van.Deli sandwiches and whatnot for our dinner and maybe a special treat or two.Ian likes to eat peppermint chocolate chip ice cream; Kyle likes toffee best; Jared eats what he is given, it seems that he gave up his favorite things many years ago and completely accepted such a life —Wishes are not welcome, and even necessities must be fully appraised before being granted.Another reason he is good at this kind of life—he can see the priorities and not be influenced by personal desires.

Sometimes, in the smaller towns, someone would notice me and talk to me.I can memorize my lines so well that I can even fool humans with this. "Hey, new here?" "Yes, just came." "How did you come to Bayer?" I always look at the map before leaving the van, so I know the names of the towns. "My lover travels a lot. He's a photographer." "Brilliant! Artist! Oh, and of course there's a lot of beautiful scenery around here." Originally I was posing as an artist, but I found that I could save some time when talking to men by adding that I was married.

"Thank you very much for your help." "You're welcome. Come back next time." I once had to talk to a pharmacist, in Salt Lake City; after that, I knew how to behave. A shy smile. "I'm not sure if my nutrition is balanced. I can't seem to live without junk food. This body loves sweets too much." "You have to be sensible, Chiba. I know it's easy to let go of your cravings. But think about what you're eating. Also. You should take some nutritional supplements." Healthy nutrients, the label on the bottle is so obvious, I would be stupid to ask.

"Would you like strawberry or chocolate?" "Can you try them all?" That kind soul named Lu Sheng gave me a big bottle of each. It's nothing challenging.The only feeling of fear or danger I felt was when I remembered that little cyanide pill that I kept in my pocket within reach, just in case. "You should buy some new clothes in the next town," Jared said. "Shopping for clothes again?" "Those clothes look a little wrinkled." "Okay." I agreed.I don't like to buy too many clothes, but the dirty laundry that builds up doesn't go to waste either.Lily, Heidi, and Paige were all my size, and would love to have something new to wear.When looting outside, men rarely think about clothes.Every heist is a matter of life and death - clothes aren't a priority, nor are the mild soaps and shampoos I buy in every store.

"You should take a shower too," Jared sighed. "I think I'll be staying in a hotel tonight." Pretentiousness was never something they had to worry about.Of course, I'm the only one who has to look like part of civilized society when up close.Men now wear jeans and dark T-shirts that, even if glimpsed occasionally, don't look dirty or draw attention to themselves. They both hated sleeping in a roadside inn - slipping into unconsciousness under the watchful eye of the enemy.It scares them more than anything else we've ever done.Ian said that instead of this, he would even attack a hunter in full armor.

Kyle simply refused.For the most part, he slept in the van during the day and served as a sentinel at night. For me, it's as easy as shopping in a store.I checked everyone into the hotel, and I talked to the waiter about my photographer husband and the friends we were traveling with (just in case anyone saw the three of us entering the room at the same time).I use common names from humble planets, sometimes we come from the planet of Bats: "Covenant Keeper" Wakip, "Song of Eggs" Sinegsong, and "Inhabiting the Sky" Skyrus; sometimes we're from the eyegrass planet: "Crooked Eyes" Tustin Ice, "The Shaved" Heather Faith, and "Rising Sun" Segan Sunless.I change my name every time, not because someone is stalking us, it’s just that it makes Melanie feel more at ease, one of those spy movies that make Melanie feel like a human being.

Where it's hard, where I really mind—I won't say this to Kyle's face, because he'll immediately suspect my intentions—is that I'm taking so much and not giving in return.I've never had this kind of trouble shopping in San Diego before, I just take what I need, never more, and then spend a few days lecturing at the university to give back by sharing my knowledge.It wasn't a strenuous duty, but I took it seriously, and I took turns doing less interesting tasks.Spend the day picking up trash, sweeping the streets, we all do that. But now, I take more and give nothing back, which makes me feel selfish and guilty.

It's not for yourself, it's for others.Mel reminded me who was in deep thought. Still feel ashamed, even you can feel this too.isn't it? Forget about it.This is her way. I'm glad we're nearing the end of this long looting, tomorrow we'll be heading to the ever-rich Vault - a truck we've stashed away a day's journey from our route, and will be emptied for the last time The van, a few more cities, and a few days to go, through Oklahoma, then New Mexico, and then non-stop, straight through Arizona. Finally home. Sleeping in hotels instead of crowded vans, we usually checked in after nightfall and left before dawn, to keep the spirits from getting a chance to see us, which wasn't really necessary.

Jared and Ian are beginning to realize this.This evening, we finished early because we had a beautiful day, the van was packed to the brim and Kyle didn't have much room, and because Ian thought I looked tired.The sun hadn't set when I returned to the delivery van with the plastic key card in hand. The tiny hotel wasn't too busy, and we parked the car next to our room, and Jared and Ian walked straight out of the van and into the room, taking five or six steps, keeping our eyes on the ground as we walked.On their necks, there are thin, pale pink scars to protect them.Jared was carrying his half-empty suitcase, and no one was looking at them, nor at me. In the room, with the curtains drawn to avoid light, they relaxed a little. Ian lolled on his and Jared's bed and turned on the TV.Jared puts the suitcase on the table and pulls out our dinner—cooled deep-fried chicken strips I bought at the deli in the last mall—and he hands it to us.I sat by the window, and while eating, I looked at Luokou from the corner of the window. "Xiao Man, you have to admit that we humans have better entertainment." Ian joked. On the TV screen, the two souls spoke their lines clearly, and their body movements were also very standard.It's not that hard to understand what's going on in the story, because there's nothing new in the script written by the soul.In this story, two souls reunite after being separated for a long time.The man's work on the eyegrass planet had turned him off, but he chose to be human, because he guessed that the lover from the mist planet would be implanted in these hot-blooded hosts.Then, a miracle happened, and he found her there. These stories all have happy endings. "You have to think about your target audience." "Yeah, I hope they rerun the old human TV shows." He quickly changed the channel, frowning. "Some of these shows used to be shown." "These shows are troublesome and they have to be replaced with less violent ones." "The Brady Family?" I laughed.I saw that show in San Diego, which Melanie has known since she was a child: "The show condoned assault. I remember a scene where a young boy beat up a punk and that was portrayed as a legitimate thing to do , it was bloody." Ian shook his head suspiciously, but went back to the previous program about the eye grass planet.He was amused by the misplaced characters that were supposed to be touching. I looked out the window, watching something more interesting than the no suspense story on TV. Cross the two-lane road from the hotel, and there is a small park in front of it. On one side of the park is a school, and on the other side is a field, where cows are grazing.There are several small saplings in the park, and an old-fashioned playground.The playground has a sandpit, slides, several sets of climbing frames, and a hand-cranked carousel.Of course, there is also a swing set, which is the only facility still in use. A family of three is enjoying the cool evening breeze.My father had silvery sideburns, and my mother looked years younger, her auburn hair pulled back in a ponytail that swung back and forth as she moved.They have a young child, less than a year old.The father pushes the child in the swing at the back, and the mother stands in front. When the child swings in front of her, she will bend down and kiss his forehead, which makes the child giggle and his chubby face turns red It was flushed, and it made her laugh too—I could see her body swaying with it, her braids bouncing lightly. "What are you looking at, Xiaoman?" Jared didn't ask urgently, because I was quietly smiling at this unexpected scene. "I've never seen something in my life, I'm seeing hope." Jared came up to me and looked over my shoulder. "What are you referring to?" His eyes scanned the buildings and the road, but did not stop at the family playing. I lift his chin and turn his face in the right direction.He didn't dodge my sudden touch, which sent a strange warmth in my stomach. "Look." I said. "What do I want to see?" "The only hope of survival for host organisms that I have ever seen." "Where?" he asked confusedly. I realized that Ian was listening quietly very close to us. "See?" I pointed to the smiling mother, "See how much she loves her human child?" At that moment, the woman took the child off the swing, hugged him tightly, and covered his face with sweet kisses.He grunted softly and waved his arms - just a baby.He couldn't have been a child if he had my race in him. Jared gasped. "This baby is human? How? Why? How long?" I shrugged: "I've never seen this happen—I don't know. She didn't give up on him and make him a host. I can't imagine that she would be forced, motherly love is almost worshiped in our group, if she No," I shook my head, "I don't know how a situation like that is handled. It doesn't happen in other places, the emotions in these bodies are so strong that they outshine reason." I looked up at Jared and Ian, who were both gaping at the mixed-race family in the park. "No," I said softly to myself, "no one can force a parent if they want children, just look at them." The father held the mother and the child in his arms at the same time. He looked down at the biological son of his host, and the tenderness in his eyes was surprising. "Besides ourselves, this is the first planet we've found with babies, and your methods are certainly not the easiest or most productive. I wonder if that's the difference or, if it's because your young children are immobile. Elsewhere It's some form of egg or seed reproduction, and a lot of parents never see their babies, and I think," my voice trails off, my mind racing with speculation. The mother put her face close to her lover, and he kissed her on the lips, and the child cheered with joy. "Well, maybe, one day, some people from my clan and your clan can get along well, wouldn't that be weird?" Neither man could take his eyes off the wonder in front of him. The family of three is leaving, the mother dusts off her jeans, and the father picks up the baby.Then, the souls lead their children, hand in hand, swinging the arms that are held together, and walk leisurely towards the apartment. Ian swallowed loudly. We remained silent for the rest of the night, lost in thought about what we had seen.We go to bed early so we can wake up early and start work early. I sleep alone and my bed is furthest from the door which makes me uncomfortable.The two big men didn't sleep comfortably in the other bed, and Ian would stretch out his limbs in his deep sleep, and Jared would always be hit by his outstretched fists.Both of them would sleep more comfortably if I shared my bed.Now I sleep curled up into a ball, maybe because I move around in so many spaces all day that I confine my body at night, or because I'm used to curling up and sleeping on the passenger side of a van. In the narrow space behind the seat, I even forgot how to stretch out to sleep. But I know why nobody asked me to share the bed with him.The first night they realized I was going to take a shower at the hotel and I was a little morose and I could hear Ian and Jared talking about me through the fan in the bathroom. "It's not fair to tell her to choose," Ian said.He spoke in a low voice, but the fan wasn't loud enough to drown out the sound, and the hotel room was small. "Why not? Wouldn't it be fairer to tell her where she should sleep? Don't you think that's more polite." "It's true for other people, but Xiaoman will suffer because of it. She will try to make us all happy, and she will make herself very sad." "Are you jealous again?" "Not this time, I just know what she will think." Silence, Ian is right, he does know what I'm thinking.He probably already guessed it, I will see Jared's preference from the details, and then choose to sleep next to Jared, but I will be awake worrying whether sleeping there will make Ian unhappy, worrying about hurting Ian Grace feelings. "Okay," said Jared angrily, "but if you're huddled next to me tonight, I'm sure, huh!" Ian laughed secretly: "Jared, I'm not talking big, I'm just telling you honestly, if I wasn't used to sleeping like this, I think I would have done better." I feel a little guilty about wasting so much useful space, other than that maybe I do sleep better when I'm alone. We don't need to stay in hotels anymore, and the days start to go by faster and faster, and every second seems to be rushing home.I could feel a strange westward pull on me, and we both wanted to get back to that dark, crowded cave. Even Jared was taking it lightly. It was late at night, and the afterglow of the setting sun behind the western hillside had disappeared.Behind us, Ian and Kyle took turns driving the big truck full of our loot, just like Jared and I took turns driving the delivery van.They had to drive that hulking truck with more care than Jared did, their headlights fading into the distance, and after taking a sharp turn in the road, the lights disappeared entirely. We drove up the final straight with the Tucson behind us.I'll be able to see Jamie in a few hours.In the crowd of smiling faces, we will unload the necessities that everyone is looking forward to, such as food, and truly go home. My first time, I realized. This time, the return will only bring joy, and we did not bring back the doomed hostage this time. I ignored everything else except hope.The road doesn't seem to be going fast, and to me it's never going fast enough. The truck's headlights appeared behind us again. "Kyle must be driving," I whispered. "They're coming up." Immediately afterwards, red and blue lights suddenly flickered in the dark night behind us.The light bounced off the rear-view mirror, and the jumping spots swept across the roof, the seats, our stunned faces, and the dashboard where the needle on the speedometer showed us twenty miles over the speed limit. Sirens cut through the silent desert.