Chapter 21 Chapter 19 Abandonment

"Who is that hunter in black? Why is she still searching?" Jared's roar was deafening, echoing around me. I hid behind my arm and waited for the first blow to strike. "Huh - Jared?" grumbled Ian, "maybe you should let me" "Go away!" Ian's voice got closer, and when he tried to follow Jared into the already crowded hole, the rocks creaked. "Can't you see that it's too scared to talk? Let it alone for a while" Jared moved, and then I heard something scrape the ground, and then a boom.Ian cursed a few words.I can see through my fingers that Ian is no longer in sight and that Jared has his back to me.

Ian spat and groaned in pain. "This is the second time." He growled, and I understood that the punch that was supposed to hit me was passed on to Ian because he wanted to interfere. "I'm going to beat you for the third time," Jared said vaguely, but he turned to face me, bringing in a glimmer of light, and he was holding a lamp with which he lit the Ian.After so long in the dark, the cave was almost open to light. Jared spoke to me again, looking at my face in the new light, and asking word for word, "Who-is-the-hunter?" I lowered my hand and looked into his pitiless eyes.It disturbs me that other people suffer for my silence - even if that person ever thought about killing me, it shouldn't be torture like this.

After Jared read the change in my expression, he showed a hint of hesitation, "I don't need to hurt you," he said calmly, not sure, "but I must know the answer to my question." It wasn't even a real question - it wasn't a secret I was obligated to keep. "Tell me," he insisted, eyes narrowed in frustration and deep displeasure. Am I really a coward?I'd rather believe that I am - my fear of pain outweighs everything else, and the reason I opened my mouth to speak is far more pathetic. I wanted to please him, this man who hated me so vehemently.

"Hunter." I said, my voice was harsh and hoarse, I haven't spoken for a long time. He interrupted impatiently: "We already know it's a hunter." "No, not an ordinary hunter," I said softly, "my hunter." "Your hunter, what do you mean?" "Assigned to me, follow me. She's—the reason." I was about to say the word that would kill us when I stopped, just before I could say "we."The last truth he would think was the last lie - exploiting his deepest desires and deepest pains.He'll never understand that his wish might come true, all he can see is a dangerous liar looking at him through the eyes of his beloved.

"Why?" he asked. "The reason I ran away," I said softly, "The reason I came here." Not quite the truth, and not quite a lie. Jared stared at me, his mouth half-opened to consider my words.Out of the corner of my eye I could see Ian peeking into the hole again, his blue eyes widening in surprise.His pale mouth was bloody and jet-black. "You escaped the hunters? But you're one of them!" Jared struggled to calm himself down, and began to question again, "Why does it follow you? What does it want?" I swallowed, and the voice sounded extraordinarily loud and unnatural: "She wants to find you, you and Jamie."

He straightened his face: "You want to bring it here?" I shook my head: "I'm not me" How can I explain it clearly?He will never accept the truth. "what?" "I don't want to tell her that I don't like her." He blinked and was confused again: "Shouldn't you like everyone?" "We should," I admit, blushing with shame. "Who did you tell about this place?" Ian asked over Jared's shoulder.Jared looked sullen, but he kept his eyes on me. "I can't say - I don't know I just saw the lines, the lines in the album. I drew them for the hunter but we don't know what they are, she still thinks it's a road map." I say no Stop, can't stop.I want to speak slowly so that I don't slip up myself.

"What do you mean you don't know what they are? You're here." Jared's hand waved toward me, but dropped before reaching the short distance between us. "I'm having trouble with my her memory. I don't understand that I can't get everything, her memory has barriers. That's why a hunter was assigned to me, waiting for me to unlock the rest." Too much Too much, I bite my lip. Ian and Jared exchanged a look. They had never heard of such a thing before.They didn't trust me, but they desperately wanted to believe it was possible.They want it so much that it scares them.

Jared suddenly snapped and whipped me, "Can you see my cabin?" "Not for a long time." "Then you told the hunter." "No." "No? Why not?" "Because I don't want to tell her until I can remember." Ian's eyes widened. Jared's tone changed, becoming soft, almost gentle, which was far more dangerous than yelling, "Why didn't you tell him?" I didn't say a word, it wasn't a secret, but it was a secret he wanted to force out of me.In this moment, my determination to keep my mouth shut has less to do with self-preservation than with a foolish, brooding pride that I won't tell this despised man I love him.

He looked at me with a flash of resistance in his eyes, as if he understood that no answer could be obtained after some effort.He decides to skip ahead—maybe ask later, save it for last, in case he can't ask me any more questions after he's done grilling me. "Why can't you get all the information? Is that normal?" This question is also very dangerous, for the first time so far I told a big lie. "She fell down for a long time and her body broke." Lying is not easy for me, and this one didn't have the desired effect, and Jared and Ian would be wrong.Gerald tilted his head to one side, and Ian raised one dark eyebrow.

"Why didn't this hunter give up like everyone else?" Ian asked. I was suddenly exhausted.I know they can ask me this all night, and if I keep answering, they will ask me all night, and I will end up making mistakes.I leaned against the wall weakly and closed my eyes. "I don't know," I said softly. "She's not like the other spirits. She's annoying." Ian laughed out loud - a surprising sound. "And you—are you like other souls?" Jared asked. I opened my eyes and looked at him tiredly for a long time.What a stupid question, I thought to myself.Then I close my eyes, hide my face between my knees, and wrap my arms around my head.

Jared either understood that I was done, or his body was loudly protesting being ignored.He grunted his way through the exit of my cave, took the light with him, and moaned softly as he stretched his arms and legs. "That was unexpected." Ian said softly. "Of course it's a lie," Jared whispered back, and I could barely hear what they were saying, and they probably didn't realize the voices were echoing to me, "I just don't quite know what it wants us to believe—it What exactly does it mean?" "I don't think it lied. Well, except for one time, did you notice?" "It's also a fake." "Jared, when have you ever met a parasite who would lie about anything? Except for hunters, of course." "It must be the hunter." "Are you serious?" "That's the best explanation." "She—it's the least likely hunter thing I've ever seen. If the hunters knew how to find us, it would bring an army." "And they'll find nothing. But she—it came in, didn't it?" "How many times it was almost killed" "Yet it's still breathing, isn't it?" They were quiet for a long time.It's been quiet for so long that I'm starting to want to change my position and stop curling up, but I don't want to make any noise when I lie down.I want Ian to leave so I can sleep.When the adrenaline runs out of my body, I just feel exhausted. "I think I'm going to talk to Jeb," Ian said softly at last. "Oh, that's a good idea." Jared said with strong sarcasm. "Do you remember that first night? When it jumped between you and Kyle? That was weird." "It's just trying to survive, to escape" "Then why did she—it give Kyle a chance to kill it? What a brilliant plan." "It worked." "Credit to Jeb's gun, does she know he's on his way?" "I don't think you're right, I don't know why but I don't think she wants us to think of her at all." I heard Ian standing up. "You know what's the most unusual thing?" Whispering again. "What is it?" "I felt so guilty - guilty as hell - watching her hide from us scared and seeing the bruise on her neck." "You can't let it affect you like that." Jared suddenly felt uneasy. "It's not human, don't forget that." "Just because she's not human, do you think that means she doesn't feel pain?" Ian asked, his voice trailing off, "doesn't she feel like other girls who get spanked—we spank It is the same?" "Restrain yourself," Jared snapped behind him. "See you later, Jared." After Ian left, Jared didn't relax for a long time.For a while he paced up and down the entrance of the cave, then sat on a cushion that blocked my light, muttering some inaudible words to himself.I gave up waiting for him to fall asleep and stretched myself as far as I could on the bowl-shaped ground.He jumped up at the sound of my movements, and then started talking to himself again. "Guilt," he muttered bitterly, "let it get the better of her! Be like Jeb, be like Jamie. Can't go on like this, it's stupid to let it live." I got goosebumps on my arms, but I did my best to ignore them.If I panicked every time he thought of killing me, I wouldn't have a moment's peace.I get on the ground, turn my spine the other way, and he jumps up again, then falls silent again. I'm sure he was still thinking about it when I finally fell asleep without knowing it. When I woke up, Jared was sitting on the cushion where I could see him, his arms in his lap, his head on one fist. I felt like I hadn't slept for an hour or two, but I was so sore I couldn't go back to sleep right away.Instead, I was apprehensive about Ian's visits, and worried that Jared would go even further to isolate me after Ian's strange reaction.Why couldn't Ian keep his mouth shut and let alone feel guilty?If he knew he was capable of feeling guilty, why would he be with suffocating people in the first place?Melanie was also annoyed with Ian, worried about the consequences of his sudden doubts. Within minutes, our worries were interrupted. "It's me," I heard Jeb yell, "don't get too excited." Jared raised his gun. "Come on, kill me, kid, come on." Jeb's voice grew closer to mine with each word. Jared sighed, put down the gun: "Please leave." "I need to talk to you," Jeb said, and he sat down across from Jared, panting loudly. "Hey, hello," he said, nodding in my direction. "You know how much I hate that," Jared whined under his breath. "yes." "Ian has told me about hunters" "I know, I just discussed it with him." "Great, so what do you want to do?" "It's not a question of what I want to do, but a question of what everyone needs to do. We don't have enough for anything now, and we really need a comprehensive supply of materials." "Oh," Jared whispered, not being nervous about the subject, and after a moment's pause, he said, "Send Kyle." "Okay." Jeb said easily, standing up again with the support of the wall. Jared sighed.His suggestion appears to be an illusion.As soon as Jeb took his words, he backtracked: "No, don't send Kyle, he's too" Jeb chuckled softly: "The last time he acted on his own, he almost really put us in dire straits, didn't he? He's not the kind of person who thinks deeply, so what about Ian?" "He's overthinking it." "Where's Brant?" "He's not good at walking long distances, and after a few weeks he starts to panic and make mistakes." "Okay, then you tell me who will do." The minutes passed, and I heard Jared inhale from time to time, and each time he seemed to be about to give Jeb an answer, but then he just sighed and said nothing. "Ian and Kyle together?" Jeb asked, "Maybe the two of them can make up for each other's shortcomings." Jared muttered dissatisfiedly: "Like last time? Well, well, I know I still have to go." "You're the best," Jeb agreed. "You changed our lives when you showed up here." Melanie and I nodded to ourselves, which didn't surprise either of us. Jared is amazing.Jamie and I were safe, guided by Jared's instincts, and we never came close to being captured.If Jared had been in Chicago, I'm sure he'd be all right. "I'll keep an eye on her when I can, and I expect you to take Kyle with you, that should help." "That's not enough-Kyle is gone, you can monitor her when you can, she is not a long-term solution." Jeb shrugged. "I'm going to do my best. That's all I can do." Jared began to shake his head slowly back and forth. "How long can you stay here?" Jeb asked him. "I don't know," Jared said softly. Then there was a long silence.After a few minutes, Jeb began whistling out of tune. Finally Jared let out a big breath, I didn't realize he was holding his breath. "I'm leaving tonight." The words were slow, resigned, but also a relief.His tone changed a little, less defensive.It was as if he was handing over to someone from before I came here.To shift a responsibility from his shoulders to another, which in this case is more welcome. He was giving up trying to keep me alive, letting nature—or rather the trial of the mob—take its course.When he comes back I'm dead, he won't blame anyone, he won't grieve.All this, I can hear it in that sentence. I know humans magnify grief—they say "broken hearts".Melanie remembered saying the phrase herself, but I always took it as an exaggeration, an idiomatic expression used to describe things that have no real biological connection, like when humans say "green fingers " Same, so I didn't expect my heart to hurt.Discomfort, yes, the lump in my throat, yes, the hot tears in my eyes, but what was that piercing feeling?There is no logic at all. And the heart isn't just being torn apart, it's churning, being pulled in different directions.Because Melanie's heart was broken too, and it was a separate feeling, as if we had grown another organ to complement our twin consciousness.Two hearts for two hearts, double the pain. He's leaving, she sobbed, and we'll never see him again.She doesn't question the fact that we are going to die. I want to cry with her, but have to stay calm.I covered my mouth with my hands, suppressing moans of pain. "That's probably for the best," Jeb said. "I need to arrange something" Jared's heart flew away from this claustrophobic corridor, far away. "Then, here I will take over, safe journey." "Thanks. I guess it's natural when I see you, Jeb." "yes." Jared handed Jeb the gun and stood up, absently dusting his clothes.Then he walked away, hurrying down the corridor with familiar steps, thinking of other things.Without looking back in my direction, without giving any second thought to my fate. I listened carefully to his receding footsteps until they disappeared completely and could no longer be heard.Then, forgetting Jeb was there, I pressed my face into the back of my hands and started sobbing.