Chapter 26 Hans

Hans sat beside Galman, and the room was as silent as the sand at night.He sat for a long time, like a statue, more like a statue than the old man sleeping on the bed.There is no light in the room, and the dark night hides all objects. The quiet moonlight sheds a pale halo, like a layer of tulle, draped over the two statues sitting opposite each other, covering the silent sadness in the statues. comfort. Kaleman, Hans said, can you imagine that the final outcome turned out to be like this. Hans lowered his head, propped his elbows on the edge of the bed, buried his face in his hands, and did not move for a long time.He didn't make a sound, he didn't choke or get angry, but he could see the pain in him was so deep that he had to use all his strength to keep himself from losing control.The old man lying on the bed didn't move either.The old man's skin was pale, his hair was sparse, and there were many delicate catheters inserted into his body.

Are people doomed to have too many regrets in their life? Hans asked Galman, do you think so? He put his hand on the shoulder of the old man on the bed, as he used to do forty years ago.The tentacles are skinny, as if the pajamas are just a wooden frame.He held his shoulders for a long time, as if he wanted to transfer his heat and emotion into Galeman's body through his palms, to wake him up and regain his life.But after a long time, the old man in the dark did not respond. Hans finally let go of his hand quietly, the ups and downs in his heart could not be stopped.He stood up, walked to the window, pushed the window open, and put his hands on the window sill.The clock by the window seems to stop flowing, and where life is still, time seems to be still.

※※※ Hans didn't know how to recall the past twenty-four hours.In his life, these twenty-four hours may be the most important twenty-four hours, but he can't face it, and he doesn't know how to recall it. Twenty-four hours ago, he was still sitting in the chamber of the Senate, watching the debates end with exhaustion and the staff busy before his eyes.At that time, he was tired but not sad, troubled but determined.He doesn't know what the future holds, but he feels like he did everything he could. At that time, he had just quarreled with Juan. He disagreed with Juan's handling of the two earthlings. He thought they should send people to chase them. Juan said no, Hans asked why, and Juan said they didn't take them away. Hans disagreed with the information, and Juan did not let go.Hans then ordered Juan to convene the elders of the flight system to hold an additional discussion after the meeting. Juan reluctantly agreed, but still said that it was unnecessary.At that time, Hans didn't know that the plane of the people on Earth had run aground. He just intuitively thought that it was not a good way to deal with it at this time. Regardless of whether the people on Earth escaped successfully, it was not serious enough to ignore them. , will be criticized.

He was sitting in the venue waiting for Juan. The dimmed conference hall had an emptiness that would inevitably appear when the hustle and bustle died down. He had an uneasy premonition in his heart. He thought it was just the reverberation of exhaustion. He didn't know how long he sat there, but the images of the whole day flew through his mind, and the past events of many years also swept into his mind one by one. He recalled various friends, and recalled the separation and reunion of Mars and Earth in the past forty years.The staff cleaned up the venue beside him, carefully avoiding him, not wanting to disturb his meditation.He looked at them and felt like an outsider, like an audience watching the curtain fall on the stage and the play over.

At this moment, he waited for the news.He was originally waiting for Juan and the elders, but he never expected that what he was waiting for was such news.He couldn't believe his ears, and his hands gripped the messenger tightly like pliers. He hoped to hear more details, hoping to find out that the news was false.How he wished that news was false. ※※※ Galman, do you know? Hans suddenly turned around and looked at the old man on the bed from the window. When I saw the boy's body, I wished that the person lying there was not him, but me. His hands clenched into fists and hit his heart, as if this would make his heart feel better.

He sees that scene again, the one he dreads to think of but thinks of over and over again.He could not forget it, nor would he allow himself to forget it.The memory seemed terrible, but he forced himself to face the horror. The boy was lying in the middle of the ward, and there was only this bed alone.The ward is not big, with dark blue walls, half-covered curtains, and only a small part of the sunlight penetrates, hitting the empty wall on the side. The boy lay in the shadows.Hans walked towards him step by step.The boy was covered with a white sheet, lying peacefully in the middle of the ward. At first glance, he seemed to have died peacefully, but when he got closer, he realized that this was a man-made peace after a huge collision. Only the bed was peaceful, and the twisting of the body The brokenness and brokenness are revealed through the sheets, making people frightened to watch.Hans lifted up a corner of the quilt, took a look and closed his eyes again.

The boy lay there like a machine that had been taken apart.The head and face could no longer be distinguished, the arms and legs were broken, and the broken ribs were protruding like knives protruding from the inside of the body.There are several bright red knife cuts on his body, like the scars left on his body after a duel.That's the mark of surgery.Hans knew that the doctors tried their best, but the bodies that fell from mid-air could not be brought back to life with all their efforts.The whole body is whole but broken, stiff but loose.The face that was originally delicate and tough now only remained flat and dislocated after the impact.Fortunately, the protective clothing was not damaged at that time, otherwise the person would not even be able to retrieve the complete body.Hans had witnessed countless deaths in his life, but this time seemed to be the most thrilling one.

Standing in front of the boy's bed, Hans stretched out his hand tremblingly, trying to touch his forehead, but he couldn't let go.He didn't cry bitterly, but gradually, his whole body trembled along with his hands. ※※※ It's my fault, Galman, you understand, it's my fault. Hans pressed his palm on the window sill so hard, as if he wanted to press the window sill to the ground. The person who died should be me, the ending I thought I should go to when I was young.But I finally lost my courage, it was my fault that he died for me.No, don't say that's not the case.That's it.it is my fault.I muttered about empty wishes and inaction.I talk about cessation of war and communication, but I have always indulged the desire to conquer.I thought that a ban could stop the war, but when the army's desire is burning, how can I stop it, I am just deceiving myself and others.It wasn't Juan's fault alone, he was just the tongue of a whole flame.I have been engulfed in flames.What was I thinking when they said the earthlings ran away, I didn't think about their safety, only their role and their position in negotiations with the earth.I've started using it as a measure, which turned out to be what I was thinking at the time.Anka should not have died.If the search and rescue ships were dispatched without hesitation at that time, no one would be sacrificed to rescue them safely.But what are we all thinking about, what kind of situation is more secure.

Anka died for me, he died for my youth, old and feeble.I should be ashamed. Hans clenched his fists tightly, frowned and closed his eyes.He leaned his body out of the window and raised his head, as if he wanted to let out the suppressed depression in his body.But after a long time, he didn't make any sound.The moonlight fell on his shoulders from overhead, and his arms and shoulders were tense like a steel plate. After a long time, his body relaxed and looked even more exhausted.He turned around again, sat down next to Galman again, propped his chin with his hands, and looked at Calman's always calm face with infinite sadness.

Jialeman, you may not know, he said in his heart, this boy is Xiaoying's beloved.I know this.You don't know, but I do.I really feel that there is no way to face her again. She doesn't know how sad she is at this moment.I have lost too many people I cherish the most in my life, maybe I am the biggest sinner. ※※※ Hans stood by the window for a long, long time.When he sat back beside Galman again, his emotions calmed down a lot.It was late at night, and the lights in other rooms in the hospital went out one by one. Kaleman, Hans said, I have failed too many people in this life, and I have failed even you in the end.

I finally passed the resolution and gave up your city.will you be mad at meWould you blame me for making a decision without your consent?Will you argue as hard as before?Are you going to wake up and see all this rage?Galman, I wish you would, how I wish you would.Then you are still you.That way I can be more comfortable. Hans lowered his head lightly. For him, everything seemed to come on the same day, just to hit his last nerve bottom line.First, in the afternoon, Luo Ying resisted like Kang Tan back then, then years of disagreement with Juan broke out on stage, followed by the news of Anka's accident, and then, after night search and rescue and sleepless rescue, in the morning, watching to his body, and finally a near-collapsed morning to preside over the final vote in the House of Commons. He said to Galman, maybe this day is the end of your life and mine. Of the two final votes on major bills, one was passed and the other was rejected.It was Gushen Tianshui's valley plan that was approved, which was almost expected. Walking into the real nature is really a great temptation for Martians who have been locked in a box for more than 50 years.The project that was rejected was Juan's proposal to send troops. This proposal has quietly entered the proposal area for two months. It has been quietly building up momentum in a lurking state. It almost gained an advantage, but it was opposed by a majority in the final vote. .The news of Anka's death reached the Senate, casting an overtone of grief on the early morning meeting that could not be ignored.No one can ignore his dedication.The people on Earth came back safely, thank you for your kindness, and promised to return to Earth to contribute to the negotiations on Mars. Many of the remaining detailed proposals are mere formalities.As the most serious voting meeting of the year, most of the proposals have already been fully discussed in the database, and it is just a formality to get it at this time.Only the most significant proposals will have the most serious disagreements. Hans sat on the stage, performing his last important duty before leaving office.The early morning sun was still peaceful as usual, shining on everyone from the dome of the conference hall, unmoved by any turmoil or sorrow.Hans felt a little ironic, in the daylight without joy or sorrow, there was no place for joy or sorrow.He handled the process according to the familiar procedures, spoke with the same dignity as usual, and his attitude was as impartial as usual.After a night of turmoil, he was calm at the meeting. When Hans finally signed and branded the formal bill of approval, his hand hesitated.He knew that when his imprint fell, the city he had spent his life with Galman would be history. At that time, he was calm and composed, saving all the surging emotions in the abyss of night at this moment. ※※※ Hans usually avoided recalling, avoiding the weakness and hesitation brought about by recalling.There were only a few moments when he would slowly and solemnly open the floodgates of his mind, as if in a ritual, and let the memory pour down.He stood in the waterfall and let the invisible water beat his whole body. As a child, he lived in a sandstone house.He has seen semi-subterranean bunker houses in movies, but he has never lived in them.Since he can remember, he has been living in a cold cave.At that time, there were always wars raging around, always preparing for, facing, fighting, watching, always waiting, fearing, waiting, and fearing again, people were always dying, and houses were collapsing before our eyes. The original house was in a cave, and the outer wall was made of metal. The metal was too thin to prevent radiation, and it was too thick to face the shortage of resources. It took a long time to dig the sealed hole. Once there was bombardment, there was nowhere for people to escape.For twenty years they persevered in difficulty, until, at the end of the war, Galeman appeared. Glass is the most readily available material in the desert. It is easy to shape, easy to assemble, and shaped by air pressure. Once destroyed, it can be quickly rebuilt.The house in Kaleman is not a simple building, but a complete small ecosystem.Production of energy, ventilation, water circulation, biological cultivation, garbage decomposition, it is like an acrobat, balancing many plates lightly.They hid underground in the artillery fire, and immediately blew up a new home on the ruins. Hans hadn't seen the massacre scenes in ancient books, their war was fought in space, and even after he became a pilot himself, he had never seen the enemy's face.In my childhood memories, wars are occasional bombings. There is no flame, no roar, no steaming thick clouds, only heavy metal shells falling from the sky, splitting in an instant, blocking a hole, and catching people who have just woken up off guard. into eternal sleep.A moment like this comes only once in a few months, but fear sustains every day between bombings.The more sporadic, the more frightening it is.They were used to guessing secretly in the closed cave, without seeing the sky, until the house in Galeman appeared and made them face the incoming artillery fire.It made them face the night sky, exposed their panic to the sky, and exposed their hearts to the sky. ※※※ Carmen, said Hans, you were so brave in those days.You are less than twenty years old, and you dare to pat the table to promote your plan.It's really strange that the old gentlemen are not angry, even you don't believe it yourself.Do you remember these things?You are a genius, a roaring lion genius. Can you think of us today, Galman, when we were all about twenty years old.Do you still remember that we drank and joked together, we all looked forward to becoming important people to the future kingdom, it was just a joke at that time, did you ever think that we really did it.No one can deny that we were all important people to this day.Do you feel satisfied? How much is the difference between everything today and our reverie at that time. Galman, you are so proud.All the things about you that make people hate and make people angry are your pride, and all the things about you that people remember and make people admire are also your pride.You are too proud to bother to brag about your exploits.You think that's so cheap, it will kill your pride, so that you never even take the initiative to mention your contribution.You make people think that everything is just a trivial matter, not worth mentioning, even for yourself, it is just a trivial matter, but only I know how attached you are to all these things in your heart.Galman, why don't you let go of your pride and admit it frankly, you love your technology, you love your works, you are obsessed with them to the extent that you don't miss every detail, even before you fell ill The last weekend was also studying the thermal properties of silicon-based materials in order to continue to modify the performance of houses.Why don't you make these things public.You value your hard work, and you're not ashamed to admit that.If you are not so proud, maybe those who don't know you will not see you as a passing generation who occupies a position, but will be more willing to help you improve our future together. Kareman, I give my final approval to renounce your city, our city.will you resent meI have been eagerly hoping that you can wake up, but today, I would rather you never wake up, so that you can live in your ideal dream forever, without having to face the vicissitudes of life and an abandoned empty city.I don't know which is more difficult to bear, the twists and turns of my life, or the nothingness at the end of my life. Galman, I'm here, can you hear me? Hans said silently in his heart.He knew Galman couldn't hear it, but he wanted to tell it all.He knew that what was lying here was no longer the dashing young man back then, but an old man who was as weak as a child.He had fallen asleep like a child.He has put away all his majestic temperament and all his yesterdays. ※※※ Whenever Hans recalled the past of his life, what he felt most gratified was that he and several of his friends had become important people to Mars.He served as the governor, Galeman built a house, Ronning traveled all over the starry sky, and took care of Ceres all his life. Garcia served as the captain of Maus for 30 years, negotiated and established diplomatic relations with the earth, and signed an agreement to exchange students.They have fought side by side, from the last decade of the war to this day. For fifty years, they have not deviated from each other, have not broken up, and have not cheated. This is Hans' greatest and almost only pride and happiness in these years.He lived up to a lot of their expectations.He failed to prevent Garcia from being squeezed out by bureaucracy, failed to keep Lang Ning's beloved Gushen Town, and ultimately failed to keep Mars City, which they worked together for.He was not a worthy partner, but they never held a grudge against him.Hans felt that this was the most grateful gift in his life. Ronning and Garcia have been wandering around the world for many years, and the closest partner to Hans is Galeman.Together they went through the political upheavals of the early years after the war, led the construction of new towns together, and endured the pain of losing their children together.Galman's son and daughter-in-law died in an accident with a spaceship flying back from Phobos and exploding in the sky while circling.This is very similar to Quentin vs. Adele.They are thus complete companions, and although they would rather not be so identical, company is still the best medicine to get through the years. Five years ago, Hans asked Luoying to exchange with Galeman's grandson Pierre, letting her set foot on the road to Earth for him.At that time, he wasn't sure whether going to the earth was good or bad, and the only one who depended on him in Galman was his only grandson, and Hans didn't want him to take the risk.He wanted Luo Ying to go, because she was a child who thought a lot since then. Carmen, said Hans, Pierre is a good boy.You should be content to have a grandson like that.This time, he was under a lot of pressure, more than anyone else. After the project initiation debate, old friends shook their heads and said that he had betrayed your career, and he was alone to bear the criticism from all directions.But Galman, I know, you don't think so.I listened to his reply, he did not give up your attachment, but transformed it and took it to heaven.Only Pierre knows your business best and your technique best.He has inherited your curly hair and your invention, but he is not as fierce as your lion. You can rest assured that he will become a man of accomplishment in the future. Pierre was better than Rudy, he knew what was important to him.Hans shook Galman's bony hand and said.The incident seemed ironic.Your grandson supported my grandson, and I gave up your house by order.We said to be the best brothers and lifelong comrades in arms, did we do it?where are they.Will they?What we care about, they still care about. Maybe it's time for us to leave the world to younger generations.They think differently than we do, and maybe their thinking is needed now.They don't understand what it means to be safe, and therefore don't understand what we want in life.What they want is the stage, and only the stage.The only reason they envy us is that we used to have the stage.Maybe it's time to give them the stage. Kaleman, Hans said, might be time for a break.It's time for us all to rest.Ronning is dead, Garcia is dying on Maeus, and here you are... We're almost done.I know myself, if you are all gone, I don't want to go on anymore.It's time for us all to go to another heaven to meet again. Hans held Galman's hand for a long time before gently stuffing his hand back under the quilt.The walls are still a steady sea blue, the night is silent, and in the base of the wall surrounding the floor, a circle of lilies blooms silently. Kareman, Hans said, others say how much you have contributed to this cause, but in fact, you and I both know that it is not people who contribute to the cause, but the cause that contributes to people.Those things are part of who we are, and we are therefore whole.Kids get annoyed when they see old people repeating their performance, they don't know, we just don't want to lose ourselves.So Kaleman, you can be content, you have accompanied your career to the end, and your career has accompanied you to the end.You are lucky. Hans buried his face in his hands, resting his elbows on his knees.And I, he thought, I make decisions all my life, but what are my decisions.I decided to send a brother to outer space, decided to destroy another brother's city, decided to send my son to Deimos, and Rainey was the one I admired the most in the younger generation, but I personally put him in the sidelines.What kind of business is this?Is my life a life of failure? Kareman, said Hans, I am not optimistic about the future.I only tell you this, because you have become an outsider like me.Kids talk about databases all the time, but they really don't understand why our database works.Our population is only five million, less than a medium-sized city on the earth.They don't understand the meaning of this number, they just talk about the achievements of two million against two billion.In fact, this number is our foundation. All our stability and order are built on the basis of barrier-free communication, and this method has an upper limit.We've grown so much over the years, Kareman, I'm afraid it'll split up in the middle of the migration.If the sand pile is too high, it will collapse, and if the cell is too large, it will split. This is inevitable in the universe, and it will collapse without external force.There is no reason for the disintegration of civilization. Society is like an insect, and the structure determines the scale.This country must be divided. I can only go so far, Galman, Hans said at last, I still remember what you said, you said that we were born on the earth and we will return to the earth.We are, after all, sworn to this land.You say that the sky does not speak, but the earth witnesses our honesty. Hans stood up, covered Galman with the quilt again, took a glass of water, and put it on the bedside.There was a neatly folded uniform beside the bed, which Hans knew was Pierre's work.Pierre pinned badges on his clothes, medals of honor glittering with gold.Hans knew that Pierre wanted his grandfather to wake up very much, and he also wanted to be like Pierre, no matter what, to make all preparations for Galman to wake up.In this way, if he wakes up, no matter what he faces, at least he won't face being forgotten. Hans took care of everything, checked the bedside readings, made sure there was no problem, and decided to leave.He stood upright and saluted the military upright, just like the star flag he faced them on the first day of school, solemn and powerful. Hans turned around and left the ward with big strides, just like walking on the battlefield for the first time.