Chapter 4 letter

Luo Ying wanted Anka to accompany her to the archives. With him by her side, she would have more courage than usual.No matter what kind of history is found in the end, it will be much easier for him to search for it with her than for her alone. She sat on the hospital bed, logged into her personal space, and opened the mailbox.Unexpectedly, there were six unread emails in the mailbox, which is not unusual. During these days of hospitalization, she only received one letter per day on average.She quickly scanned the sender list, most of them were from the Mercury Cluster, and the blue-striped mailbox list looked cold and dazzling surrounded by lilies on the wall of the ward.

She started reading from the earliest letter, which was a group message sent by Chania to the Mercury cluster. Luo Ying looked at the letter and was stunned for a while. She thought of her memories and doubts from the day before yesterday, and felt a sympathy and a little hesitation.Chenia obviously felt similar problems to her, but she questioned the ruler and the way of rule, and Chenia questioned the impure motives of young people.She didn't know whether to respond with approval.Chenia's criticism is justified, but as for a conceptual revolution, she is hesitant.She thought of her parents, and wondered in her heart how they would decide.

The second letter is Mira's response to Chenia, and it is also mass-sent to everyone. Immediately afterwards, Longge responded, agreeing with Chenia and opposite to Mira. Luo Ying's heart beat violently.This is what she fears most.She was afraid that she would find out how bad the system was, and that she would end up on the road to fighting it.If it was really bad, they would have to fight, but fighting meant being hostile to Grandpa, which she didn't want to do, and didn't know how to deal with it.Looking at the shining words, she only felt mixed feelings in her heart. She went on, and the next letter was Thorin's consolation to Longo.

A rebuttal from Longe followed. Luo Ying was very surprised. She didn't know how Long Ge came to such a conclusion. Is there evidence or his speculation?If what he said is true, then the possible things involved will involve a lot of things that she never thought about before. Their identities will suddenly change from overseas students to politicians, not just herself, And even the departure of the rest of them has become an impure motive.It hardly seems real, too much like some kind of conspiracy theory scaremongering. She had no idea, her mind was blank.She stared at the screen in a daze for a while, and opened the last new email almost in a daze.

This is finally an email that has nothing to do with the Mercury Cluster. The sender's address is Maeus, and the sender is Yige. When Luo Ying read the last sentence, she suddenly felt an uneasy throbbing in her heart. She clicked the reply directly, and hurriedly typed a paragraph: Luo Ying quickly and smoothly typed a large paragraph of text, but suddenly stopped while writing, and couldn't continue writing. When she wrote this, she suddenly realized what kind of evaluation she had given. When she wrote it, she was only expressing her emotions. After she wrote it, she felt the various complexities between the words.In fact, the answer she gave is people's unconsciousness, blindness and non-thinking under the operation of the system, and this in itself is a kind of accusation and criticism, which is consistent with Longe's point of view.She wondered if she could trust that perception.She revisited the letters of the Mercury Cluster, and felt that her answer was too childish. After all, even in the Mercury Cluster, there were so many differences, how could it be assumed that people were all unanimous and blind.

She calmed down slowly, stopped writing, saved the draft, and decided to put it aside for a few days to think more clearly before continuing to reply. She calculated the time, the delegation had left for more than ten days, the journey had just started, and there were still more than 80 days of voyage waiting.She saw the ship drifting farther and farther away, drifting towards a real ocean with the mission in her heart.The ship is lonely and slow, but the course points forward.She read Yige's letter from the beginning again, and was touched by the faint ideal breath in the letter.She saw him on the road, doing something he thought his world lacked but needed, and there was a strength to that belief, a certainty of direction, and that certainty was reassuring.Looking back at her ten days of life, she seemed to be in contrast.She does not move forward but is not stable, not satisfied with reality, but does not know what it lacks.The world around her forms an invisible cloud around her, swirling around her without being caught by sight.It was vaguely unusual, but her eyes couldn't penetrate it.She is like a fish in a water tank, with her eyes wide open but she can only turn around.

She misses Maeus, who comes and goes in the dark like a drop of water slipping on glass. Although it has only the stars as its companions, it has no distractions and never loses its direction.They used to call it Charon, the ferry of the Styx, but now it is the liveliest place to come. She wanted to wait for Rui Ni to come back and ask Rui Ni again. ※※※ Rainey came to the pool club after dinner.He is used to coming two days a week, Wednesday and Sunday, which is a rare opportunity for him to communicate with others. There are not many people on Mars who strictly believe in the Old Testament, and the timetable of scientific research life is not too rigid, but most people still continue the ancient habit of their ancestors to keep the diary for seven days and rest on Sunday, working from Monday to Friday, Make Sunday a time for gatherings, fun, and conversations.The women will gather in a certain restaurant to cook food for their children, and the men will disperse to various clubs, exercise their hands and feet, enjoy a moment of physical confrontation, and then exchange some news and social information with men in other research fields.In addition to swimming pools and golf, there is no shortage of various sports venues on Mars.

There is always a whiff of news in the clubhouse on Sunday.People can meet some familiar old faces and hear some changed new topics.Sometimes there are boasters who are triumphant and reveal everything, sometimes there are opponents who speak vaguely and secretly compete with each other, and sometimes there are resentful people whose work is not going well and their faces are gloomy.It's like the small living room of a countess in Paris, a small teahouse in Yanjing, and a small hotel in Hokkaido where men go to have a drink or two after work. The men met each other, greeted each other in a customary way, and then intentionally or unintentionally conveyed the eternal news topic: I heard that so-and-so was promoted again, I heard that so-and-so valued so-and-so very much, listened to Saying that there has been a major change in XX recently is a good opportunity to hear about yourself.

"I heard that Martin was recently promoted to the director of the laboratory?" "More than that! He became the director of one of the three centers of their institute, managing five laboratories." "How did he rise so fast?" "It's not because the mentor I was with was good. I heard that his mentor has recently been promoted to one of the elders of the system, and the subject he is working on is definitely the next batch of key projects on Mars. He thinks highly of Martin, and let him take several important links. It was simulated. As a result, his citation rate went up all of a sudden, surpassing several seniors."

"I see. No wonder he looked so radiant last week." "So, people still have to follow the project." The talking man was sitting in the rest area, wearing a suit and waistcoat, wiping his clubs, and watching the game in progress.One man is slightly bald, the other has a bulging beard.Coffee and tea are placed on the small round table.The two men looked casual and indifferent, as if they just mentioned some trivial matters that they didn't care about at all.Rini and them are old acquaintances from childhood to adulthood, sitting beside them, leaning on the soft back of the chair, with the club propped upright on the ground in his hand, listening with a smile, without interrupting.He spoke so little that no one was surprised or cared whether he had anything to say.

The two men were still chatting. "Do you think there is a joke this time?" the bald man asked. "It's hard to say. I hope there will be drama, but it's hard to say." The bearded man replied. "Has your lab participated in the program?" "Participated. We are the Mountain School, and we are doing the feasibility test of the cable laying scheme in the rock wall. What about you?" "We are the river school. In fact, I am inclined to the mountain school, but the head of our laboratory is a stubborn old man who never believes in the artificial atmosphere. He led us to undertake an optimization simulation of the design of the river bottom transportation pipe. I think it is quite boring. Yes, but if it is approved, there will be a lot of funding." Shanpai and Hepai are colloquially referred to as relocation schemes and residency schemes.The resettlement proposal targets the crater valley where people lived before the war, while the residency proposal seeks to dig a canal around the existing city. "Ha! Then we are fighting against each other?" the bearded man laughed. "Yeah, let's see who is lucky." "It's really a gamble. If you catch up with this project, you can do it for half your life, so you don't have to worry about anything. However, it seems that the situation is confusing." "Well, good luck to both of us." "That's impossible." The bearded man smiled again, "How about it, open another game?" The two stood up, took over from the other two men who had just finished a game, stood on both sides of the pool table, and gestured gracefully to each other.One person straightened his body and wiped the top of the club, while the other placed the red balls with a triangular frame, and placed the colored balls one by one in their respective positions precisely.The kicker leaned over, and the crisp sound of hitting the ball was like uncorking champagne at a silent reception, arousing admiration. The two people who retreated also started chatting.They sat down where the two men were sitting just now, took two cups of coffee, loosened their necklines, and greeted Reni with a smile.One is an old man wearing glasses, with a dull but kind face, and the other is a tall and thin man of the same age as Reni, with a wide forehead and flying eyebrows, with a very happy and excited expression. "You said last time that your water pipe was leaking. Have you fixed it?" the young man asked the old man. "It was fixed. I removed the back wall of the cupboard later." The old man's voice was very soft. "It's good if the cupboard can be disassembled. If we knew we should install the dismantled one." The young man raised his eyebrows, "My little one drops things in the corners all day long. As he crawls, we have to keep up with him." Pick it up behind his ass." "How many months?" "One year old. I just know how to walk, but I still can't walk steadily. It's the most troublesome time." "Are you one year old? Time flies so fast." "That's not true. The boss is as tall as my waist. Nana is also literate." "That will keep you busy." "Yes." The young man laughed, "You are liberated. Does your son still come back often?" "No. Few came back after giving birth last year." "I said, if you relocate and choose a new house this time, you can move closer to your son, otherwise it will be too lonely to be alone." "Actually, it's okay." The old man said, "I'm used to it." The two people chatted in high and low voices.The voices of the conversation with the two men just now interfered together, echoing in the air, winding into clouds and smoke.Reni watched from afar, thinking of Hans' request.He felt guilty about his mission.He didn't have much confidence in what he could learn in such a conversation.The city of Mars is a city in Hans' mind, but it is only the background of life in the minds of ordinary people.The trouble of moving or not turns into the opportunity of the studio, the opportunity of relocation, the opportunity of choosing a house, the opportunity of getting ahead, and all kinds of opportunities that can be used. It is no longer a whole, but becomes the emotional fragments of thousands of small disputes.One project becomes tens of millions, and people on both sides benefit.Crystal City collapsed, and no one could see the situation from anyone's words. Rui Ni faintly felt that Hans' worry was becoming a dull thunder with no direction.The confrontation of the two principles has disappeared, and the final decision, no matter what, the video of Calman on the wall has disappeared in the concrete and real fragments of life. Rainey has always been familiar with these conversations.The progress and budget of the research room, the troubles of the wife's housework and the interesting stories of the children, the maintenance and redesign of the house.This is a full and practical life, work, home and house, the full daily life that a man can worry about all his life, all opened in these conversations.Ambitious men will strive to achieve top academic positions and high positions in the Senate, while men without political interests will enjoy everything in peace and stability. The life of the three points and one line is peaceful and stable.Many people know how to garden. They weed and plant trees in their backyards, set up swings for their children, and modify circuit settings. They are no different from life in a small town on Earth two hundred years ago.Their living expenses increase with age, and although they are never luxury, they are always adequate, and the slow rise gives people the illusion of hope against aging. Rainey was familiar with all this, but he didn't join in the conversation himself.He has nothing to talk about, no projects, no wife and son, no house.He has no so-called normal life, so he has nothing to talk about.His lack is a clearly visible causal sequence, from one point to another point, from the lack of one point to the lack of another point. When Renee first joined the studio more than ten years ago, he was punished for an accident and was not allowed to apply for engineering and research grants for five years.After just over a year, the girlfriend left him and chose someone else.According to the Martian protocol, bachelors can be assigned a bachelor apartment, but they can never choose their own house and garden. After a long time, things have changed, and it's not that he has no chance to make a comeback and make up for everything. It's just that after such a time, he suddenly lost interest in obtaining these things.His ban has long expired, and he can fight again, but he is indifferent to the combination of teams competing for projects like a war, and would rather do some simple experiments with everyday materials by himself.He can also find another girlfriend, but he is tired of two people getting involved with each other, competing for the initiative, and expressing himself in front of each other. He is confused about the first girlfriend, but he can't understand it. After repeating the whole process, he has a feeling of performing deliberately.He watched two complex, thoughtful individuals who didn't understand each other sit together and express how blind they were in love. He felt that it was not real enough, so he couldn't bear it.He hopes that when he meets someone, he can first admit the strangeness and distance between the two, and then talk about getting along, but he has never met him. He doesn't like the game of chasing and being chased, like he doesn't like wars over studio budgets every year.He found that everything depends on motivation. When people's interests have shifted, various competitive skills become meaningless redundancy. Rainey has been in this state of inactivity since he was a child.He was neither a role model nor a rebel.He grew up alone since he was a child, and has always been inconspicuous, speaking little, and his activities are not in the limelight.He got on well with the other kids, but never had group appeal.He lives in peace among the children, and occasionally fights with someone, but never has an enemy with anyone.On the playground of man-made hills and streams, he worked on various machines in silence, like a small gray comet skimming the yellow sand field and colorful metal equipment.He doesn't like to talk, and people often ignore him. Few people think about whether his heart is also complicated and changeable, with ups and downs.There is always the danger of a quiet child. People may get along with him for several years and still know little about him. Renee's introversion is not autistic or backward in spiritual development, but like many children who are rich in heart, smooth in thinking but not talkative, he can sensitively distinguish between spoken and unspoken words.This is still the leftover of the word game in his heart. He has his own castle in his heart, so the external expression becomes the eternal superficial inefficiency, which makes him prefer to return to himself. Rainey was long past the childhood of communication difficulties, had learned to get along with people calmly, learned to come to the club on scattered days, and share with other people the ordinary topics of idleness and security.He doesn't necessarily need the company of others, but he just doesn't want to lose his true understanding of people by living in isolation. He sat among the crowd, silently recalling Hans, the history of Galman and the destiny of this country. ※※※ When Rainey returned to the hospital, it was too late.He came to pick up some books and went back to his residence. He thought that everyone had rested, but he didn't expect that when he opened the door, he saw Luo Ying sitting in the small waiting room of his office, reading a book alone. "Luo Ying?" He greeted her a little surprised. Luo Ying raised her head and smiled at him.The ceiling light in the room was not turned on, only the vase-shaped desk lamp placed on the round tea table was lit, and the pyramid-shaped halo became the only light source in the room.The green leaves made the light spread softly on the pages of the book, Luo Ying's cheeks were illuminated by the side light, her nose looked thin, and her eyes looked bright. "Are you back?" she greeted Rainey. "Are you waiting for me? Is there something wrong?" "Well," Luo Ying hesitated, "Actually, it's nothing serious, I just want to ask a question or two." "Oh? What's the problem?" Luo Ying paused for a while, as if to calm down her words: "Why do the people around us work?" "Who are you referring to?" "It's the general people around, the people in the studio, the parents and the kids." Rini thought about the men at the club he had just met.Think of their excitement, anger and careful planning, their smiles and sorrows, their efforts and dissatisfaction.Every Sunday club they entertained, every topic they exchanged, every conversation about sons and daughters and promotions.Their eyes, their brows, their voices, their mannerisms.Their intellectual and emotional input.He thought about it silently, seeing the kind of life that surrounded the family around him. "For," he said slowly, "a full life." "Is everyone willing to work? Or work for ideals?" "That's not true. There wouldn't be a world like that." "Then why do people? Who would do those boring jobs if they weren't trying to make as much money as possible on Earth?" Rui Ni thought for a while and said cautiously: "First of all, we don't have too many boring jobs. Most of the production has been done by machines, and there are very few service industries." Pull out a brochure, look it up, and say, "The only essential duplication of labor is about . It is necessary to arrange various duties by oneself. Unmanned workshops generally need someone to monitor, and the output products need someone to provide maintenance. This situation is mostly in rotation, and some tasks are also in charge of special personnel. The completion of a project directly affects the next year's work. Budget wars, once something goes wrong or complained, the entire project may not get funding. This involves the survival of the entire team, and no one will take it lightly, regardless of whether they are interested or not.” "Are the budget wars intense?" "It's not only fierce," Rainey said calmly, "it can almost be said to be tragic. The budget competition at the end of each year is the biggest moment for each studio to show its talents, and the strategy, preparation, lobbying and combination are always started a few months in advance. Mars The funds are always very limited, which is no different from the Earth. You can regard the entire Mars as a large enterprise with precise planning, calculate the possible output of each investment, calculate the return, and calculate all unsatisfactory results, accurate to the second He Yuan’s three decimal places. In fact, most scientific research, including creative work, is driven by this kind of impetus, not entirely dependent on interest.” As he spoke, he thought of the two men who played billiards, Shan Pai and He Pai.Their lives are so natural, mingling in clubs and backyards, wooing the best mix of studios for the end of the year.Luo Ying listened, her face was a little confused, her eyes widened, as if she had heard a strange life.Rainey's reaction to this is not surprising.Her parents died early, and she went to the earth by herself. It is normal that she has not been exposed to these things in the past few years after she became sensible.Budget wars do not appear when teenagers are in school, but they are the most important part of adult life after work. "Why are you competing for the budget?" Luo Ying asked after thinking about it. "To get the big deal, to get a prominent place in the crowd." "Is that important, getting noticed?" "Is it important?" Rainey smiled, "I can only say that if it was not important, many things in history would not have happened." "In other words, isn't our world completely built on demagoguery and blind obedience?" Rui Ni paused for a while, with a trace of awe in his heart, he thought about the meaning of Luo Ying's question, and thought about it for a moment. "It is impossible for any world to be built entirely on delusion and blind obedience." He said calmly, "A world that can operate must be built on desire." Luo Ying nodded, didn't ask any more questions, and looked out the window, as if thinking. After a while, she got up to say goodbye, and Rainey sent her back.They walked through the long corridor in silence, each with their own minds, and no one spoke.The corridor is quiet, the glass wall in the darkness reflects the moonlight, reflecting their shadowy reflections, it looks like the years themselves, without end, without sound, without companionship, only the shadows will never leave.They walked slowly, listening to the collision of the heels with the stairs, thinking about each other, not wanting to break the silence. At the door of the ward, Rui Ni told Luo Ying to go to bed early.Luo Ying nodded, and stopped quietly, but did not enter the room immediately, but asked Rui Ni softly: "Dr. Rainey, do you think people are happy?" "happiness?" Rainey was slightly moved by the richness of the word.He hesitated for a moment, nodded and said, "Yes, I think they are happy." He thought they were happy, or rather, he felt he had to. "why?" "Because they want something." "Is that happiness?" "Not necessarily happiness, but a feeling of happiness." "Do you do the same yourself?" Rini was silent for a moment: "It's not the same." "What's the difference?" Rini was silent again: "I'm not particularly interested in the project." "Didn't you say they were happy that way?" "I can only say that I think they are happy." "Then what do you consider yourself happy?" "Sober." Rainey thought for a while, then said quietly, "and the freedom to be sober." Luo Ying went back to the house, and Rui Ni looked at the closed door, thinking about her question.Yes, he thought he was happy.Although the current life is lonely, he feels stable in his heart.On the surface, he seems to have passively accepted his fate, accepting punishment, celibacy and policies to arrange his own destiny, but in fact, what really plays a role in this is his self-choice.To some extent, anyone's fate is his own choice. If he chooses not to choose, this is a choice.He has no reason to complain or be dissatisfied, because there is a choice to be made.Freedom and loneliness are twin animals. If he chooses freedom without restraint, he must bear the loneliness without care. ※※※ After bidding farewell to Reni, Luo Ying went into the house alone, looked out the window at the wilderness at night, turned on the music, played the sound of pouring rain, and looked into the distance. The sound of the rain is magnificent, covering the sky and the earth.Luo Ying pressed her hands against the glass, looking at the big cliff in the night.The night is dark, only the distant Ceres is reflected in a disc above the head, and the two moons are not visible.The big cliff is like a black watershed, separating the sky and the earth at the end of the line of sight, the stars in the sky are bright, and the ground is far away and dark.The cliff looks both near and far, and the distance between the city and the city is open and unreachable, like the blade of the night, with a sharp and narrow blade.The sound of the rain from the speaker was very real, as if it was hitting her body through a glass. She thought about what she had heard that day, and her heart felt cold.The glass in front of me seems to emit a powerful light, covering people's emotions in its light.She feels that the term living space is not false.They have no finances, no travel services, no traffic supervisors, no bureaucratic offices to review identity documents, and all because they live in a crystal box where everything can be organized in one place.If you want the earth to follow suit, unless you also move into such a unified box and give everyone a unified living expense.She didn't know how to reply to Yige's letter, and he was moving towards a grand change that seemed impossible with high-spirited social enthusiasm. She opened the mailbox and was hesitating what to say when she suddenly saw a new email with a flashing animated icon. The letter is from Anka. At that moment, Luo Ying's heart was at peace.The quiet words warmly illuminate the room in the dark, and all the worries about conspiracy, revolutionary history and theoretical disputes are gone, only the quiet words warm in the dark.She suddenly felt very tired.