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basically harmless

basically harmless

道格拉斯·亚当斯

  • science fiction

    Category
  • 1970-01-01Published
  • 115412

    Completed
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Chapter 1 Chapter One

The history of the Milky Way is muddled for a number of reasons: partly because the guys who tried to write it down were kind of muddled, but also because a lot of muddled things did happen. One of these concerns the difficulty of moving at the speed of light versus faster than light.You can't outrun it, no one can go faster than light, the only exception is probably bad news, because bad news follows its own set of rules.The Moors, the hub of Little Agento's Floating Planet, have the courage to try and build a spaceship driven by bad news, but the result is not particularly ideal. Besides, no matter where they fly, they are extremely unpopular, so let's go It doesn't make much sense either.

In general, therefore, the peoples of the galaxy tend to languish in their own local bewilderment, and the entire history of the galaxy system has been, for a long time, entirely metaphysical and cosmophilosophical in nature. That's not to say nobody tried to do something about it at all.For example, many people have sent fleets to distant places to fight or do business, but usually no matter where they go, the time spent on the road will take thousands of years.When they finally arrived at their destination, everyone had already discovered another way to travel—to avoid the problem of the speed of light through hyperspace.Therefore, for these "sublight fleets", no matter what battle they are sent to fight, when they do arrive, they will find that the battle has been settled centuries ago.

Of course, this situation cannot dampen the fighting enthusiasm of the crew.They've been trained, they've been prepared, they've slept for thousands of years, they've come all the way to gnaw on this hard bone, and for God's sake they're going to gnaw it. This is where the first muddle of galactic history begins: the problem to be solved has been solved for hundreds of years, and the war keeps recurring.Still, it's nothing compared to the confusion that historians will have to unravel later.As soon as time travel was invented, countless battles were fought hundreds of years in advance, and at that time, the problems that needed to be solved had not yet arisen.When the infinite improbability drive came out, the planets became inexplicably confused banana cakes. Therefore, the great history college of Maxim Galen University finally surrendered, closed its doors, and transferred the All the teaching buildings were handed over to the rapidly growing Joint School of Theology and Water Polo. Anyway, people have been coveting these things for a long time.

Of course, of course, there's nothing wrong with that, it's just that it almost certainly means there are some things we can never hope to figure out - like where the Griblons came from, or what they were up to. .Which is a pity, because if someone knew even a little bit about them, a particularly dire disaster might have been avoided—or at least had to happen some other way. Tick, hum. The huge gray scouting ships of the Grebrons moved silently through the black void.It's amazingly fast and breathtaking.However, against the background of hundreds of millions of twinkling stars in the distance, it seems to have not moved at all, just like a small black speck, condensed in the bright night sky formed by countless crystals.Everything on the spaceship is as usual, thousands of years are like a day, deep darkness and silence.

Tick, hum. At least, it's pretty much business as usual. Tick, tick, hum. Tick, hum, tick, hum, tick, hum. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, hum. buzz buzz. In the ship's semi-sleeping digital brain, a lower-level supervisor program woke up a slightly higher-level supervisor program, reporting to it that it received only a buzz every time it ticked. The high-level supervisory program asked what response it should have received, and the lower-level supervisory program said it couldn't remember it, but it thought it should be some kind of distant, contented sigh, didn't it?It doesn't know what this Om is.Tick, hum, tick, hum.Now all it receives is this.

The slightly higher-level supervision procedures pondered for a while, and felt uneasy.It asked the lower-level regulatory process what exactly it was regulating, and the lower-level regulatory process replied that it couldn't remember that either, except that it was supposed to tick, sigh, every decade or so, and usually happen on time.It checked its own Quick Troubleshooting Manual and couldn't find the symptom, so it reported the problem to a higher-level supervisory program. The higher-level supervisory procedures then read their own "Quick Check Manual" to find out what the lower-level supervisory procedures should supervise.

Its Quick Reference Manual is nowhere to be found. strangeness. It looks for it again.The result is only one error message.It tried to find the error message in its "Error Message Manual", but it couldn't find it either.It took two nanoseconds to go through these situations all over again.Then it woke up its head of departmental affairs.The Head of Departmental Affairs is the one who deals directly with issues.It called in its own supervisor, who also dealt with the problem.In less than a few millionths of a second, the virtual circuits of the entire ship came back to life. Some of them had been asleep for several years, and some had been asleep for centuries.Something went wrong somewhere, and none of the regulatory programs knew exactly where the problem was.Various key instructions are missing from every level, as are instructions on what to do if a key instruction is found missing.

Small software modules—deacons—run around in logical paths, combining, deliberating, and recombining.They quickly concluded that the ship's memory had become a mess, and that the fault had spread all the way to the central mission module.No amount of questioning could determine exactly what went wrong.Even the central mission module itself appears to be damaged. In this way, the problem becomes very easy to solve: just replace the central task module.There is another one on board, a backup, exactly the same as the original, not bad at all.All that has to be done now is to do the replacement manually, as there is never any connection between the original and the backup for security reasons.Once the central mission module has been replaced, it can stand alone and oversee the rebuilding of the rest of the system.everything will be fine.

Then, the robot guarding the backup was instructed to bring the backup central mission module from the vault to the control room of the spacecraft, ready for installation. What followed naturally involved a long and urgent exchange of passwords and protocols, because the robot had to confirm the authenticity of the command with the deacon first.At last the droids were satisfied that everything was on track and correct, so they took the backup central mission module from the storage box, took it out of the vault, and fell out of the ship, spinning and disappearing into the void. It was the first big hint of what was wrong with the ship.

Further investigation quickly confirmed the truth of the matter.A meteorite smashed a hole in the spaceship.The reason why this problem was not discovered at the beginning was because the meteorite just smashed the processing device responsible for detecting whether the spacecraft was hit by the meteorite. Now the first thing to do is try to patch the hole.It turned out to be an impossible task, because the spacecraft's sensors couldn't see the hole, and the supervisory program that was supposed to point out that the sensor was faulty was faulty, and kept saying that the sensor was fine.The ship can only speculate on the existence of the hole, since apparently a droid has fallen out of it, along with the ship's spare brain, the thing that allowed it to see the hole.

The spaceship tried to think rationally about the problem, but was unsuccessful, and then passed out completely for a while.Of course it didn't realize that it had passed out, because it had already passed out.It just saw the stars dancing and felt a little surprised.When he saw the star jump for the third time, he finally realized that he must have fainted, and decided that some important issues must be decided immediately. It relaxes. Then it realizes that those big decisions haven't been made yet, and it panics.It passed out again for a little while.When it woke up this time, it used all the waterproof materials to block the hole where it knew it existed but couldn't see it. It obviously hasn't reached the destination yet, it thought intermittently, but since it has no idea where the destination is or how to get there, it seems pointless to continue walking.It tried its best to collect the remaining scum in its central task module, and reconstructed a few fragmentary instructions. "Your!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The rest is complete rubbish. Before it fell into a complete coma, the spaceship had to pass on these pitiful instructions to its more primitive auxiliary systems. It must also wake up the entire crew. still have a question.While the crew hibernates, the brains of all members—their memories, their identities, and their understanding of their missions—are transferred to the ship's central mission module, where it is kept.When they woke up they had no idea who they were or what they were doing here. Before passing out for the last time, the spacecraft realized that its engines were also starting to fail. The crew wakes up and glides with the spacecraft. The auxiliary automatic control system starts to operate, searches for the landing site, counts wherever it can find, and monitors whatever can be monitored. The part about finding a place to land wasn't going so well.The planet they found was cold and desolate, thousands of miles away from the sun that was supposed to warm it.They had exhausted the environmental shapers and life-support systems they had with them to make it, or at least a large enough part of it, habitable.There are better planets closer to the star, but the strategic monitoring system of the spaceship is obviously locked in the latent mode, so the farthest and most inconspicuous place is chosen, and any objection will be invalid unless the strategic control system of the spaceship The conductor speaks for himself.But since everyone has lost their memory, who knows who the strategic commander is?Besides, even if he could be found, no one knew how he could oppose the spaceship's strategic monitoring system. As for the part of finding the monitoring object, they can be regarded as a treasure.
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