Chapter 29 Chapter Twenty Nine

The door closed behind Patricia, and Jill asked, "What's up, Mike?" "Let's get out of here. Jill, you've read some abnormal psychology." "Yes. But not as much as you." "Do you know what tattoos symbolize? And snakes?" "Of course. I knew that from the moment I met Pat. I've been hoping you'd figure something out." "Unless we can be waterbrothers, I can't help it. Sex can be good and useful - but it has to be as a way of sharing and growing closeness. I epitomized that if I didn't grow close while doing it - —Well, I can't tell either."

"In that case, I had a hunch you wouldn't do that, Mike, and that's why I love you—and many, many other reasons, of course." "I still don't get 'love.' Jill, I can't get 'people.' But I don't want Pat to go." "Keep her. Keep her with us." ("Be patient, Jill.") ("I know") He added: "I'm afraid I can't provide everything she needs either. She wants to give herself every moment, to everyone. Pleasure rallies and snakes and nerds, none of that will satisfy Pat. She wants Put yourself on an altar and give it to everyone in the world forever—make them happy. This New Revelation . . . to other people it means something else; but to Pat it means that."

"Yes, Mike, dear Mike." "Time to go. Pick out some clothes and grab your bag. I'll take care of the trash." Jill was a little distressed, and there were one or two things she wanted to take with her.But every time Mike left, he took nothing but his clothes.He seemed to think she liked it too. "I'm wearing that pretty blue dress." It floated over her head, Jill raised her hands, and the skirt twisted over her; then zipped it up.The shoe came up to her and she put her foot in it. "I'm ready." Mike felt her emotions, but couldn't understand the concept—it was too far from a Martian's idea. "Jill? Do you want to stop and get married?"

She thought for a while, "Today is Sunday, so we can't get a marriage certificate." "Then tomorrow. I understand that you want to get married." "No, Mike." "Why, Jill?" "Marriage couldn't possibly have brought us closer. We've shared water—as true in English as in Martian." "That's right." "There's another reason that's only true in English. I don't want Dorcas, Anne, Miriam—and Pat—to think I'm trying to squeeze them out." "Jill, none of them would think that." "I won't take this risk, because there is no need. You married me a long time ago, in that ward." She hesitated for a while, "But you can still do one thing for me."

"What is it, Jill?" "Well, you can call me by nicknames! Just like I do to you." "Okay, Jill. What nickname?" "Oh!" she kissed him quickly, "Mike, you're the cutest, sweetest person I've ever met—and the most annoying guy on two planets! Don't bother. Call me every now and then— Just 'Little Brother'...it makes me shake from the inside out." "Okay, little brother." "Oh, dear! Let's get out of here quickly—before I put you back in bed. See you downstairs; I'll check out." She ran away abruptly.

They got on the first Greyhound bus, no matter where they were going.After a week, they went home, shared water for a few days, and left without saying goodbye.Saying goodbye is yet another human convention that Mike resists; he only does it with strangers. Soon they came to Las Vegas and checked into a hotel outside the city.Mike tries to gamble while Jill kills the time by being a show girl.She can neither sing nor dance; the best job for her in this Babylon of the West is to walk around showing herself in a top hat, a smile, and a little piece of shiny cloth.She'd rather work when Mike was busy, and Mike could always get her the work she needed anyway.The casino never closes, so Mike is almost never available.

Mike was careful not to let himself win too much by following the limits set by Jill. At each casino, he squeezed out a few thousand dollars and then poured them all back.He never let himself go on big bets, either.Then he got another job, presiding over a roulette table, where he let the ball roll without interfering.He studied the people around him, trying to understand why they gambled.He had an epiphany about a sexual motive—and seemed to have an epiphany out of it that was wrong. Jill works in a palatial theater-restaurant.There were a lot of customers there, and Jill decided they were all just idiots, not even human beings.But she found that she really liked showing them herself.She examines the feeling honestly with a growing Mars.She has always loved being looked at by men, of course men who are attractive and make her want to touch.Speaking of which, there was one problem that troubled her from time to time.Her body held no attraction for Mike, and despite his devotion to her body, no woman could have dreamed of more—

— The premise is when he is free.But Mike was just as generous when something happened to be on hand; he would let her wake him out of a trance, shift gears without complaining, smiling, eager, affectionate. But in any case, the problem is still there and cannot be avoided.It was one of Mike's eccentricities, like he couldn't laugh.Jill became a thigh show girl, and she made sure after her first appearance that she liked the admiring eyes of strangers on her, because that's what Mike didn't give her. Yet her honesty has been perfected, so that theory is quickly dismissed.The audience was mostly bald guys too old, too fat for Jill to find them attractive.Jill has always sneered at the so-called "old satyr".But not the average old man, she reminded herself.Jubal could look at her and even say foul words, but she never felt that Jubal had any dirty thoughts in his mind.

But now, she found that these "old perverts" did not make her sick.Feeling their admiring glances or their naked desire—she could feel them, and recognize the source—was not unpleasant to her; it made her feel warm, smug, and happy. "Exhibitionism" had always been a technical term to her, a human frailty she despised.Now, she's digging out her exhibitionism and taking a serious look at it.The conclusion was that either this narcissism was normal, or she herself was abnormal.But she didn't feel abnormal; she felt healthier than ever.She has always been strong (the nurse cannot be weak), but now, she doesn't even have a cold or a bloated stomach.How long has it been so healthy?Can't remember... oh my god, not even an upset stomach.

Well, if a healthy woman likes to be looked at by others, then a healthy man should also like to look at women, as if night is after day, or it's really fucking unreasonable!At this moment, she finally understood Duke and his pictures rationally. She discussed it with Mike, but Mike just didn't get it, what's the point of showing it?He could understand not wanting to be touched; Mike himself had been avoiding handshakes, he'd only let the Water Brothers touch him. (Jill wasn't sure how far this "touch" could go; Mike—had read about homosexuality, but couldn't figure it out. She explained it to him, and made a rule of avoiding flirting with men. She knew Mike was very Pretty, with that kind of appeal. Mike followed her advice and changed his face from neutral beauty to more masculine. But would Mike reject the flirting of water brothers? Like Duke's? Luckily Mike's male water The brothers are very manly, just as the rest of the water brothers are very feminine. Jill speculates that Mike may have epitomized a "mistake" in those poor middlemen-he will probably never share with them. water.)

As for Jill's love of being stared at now, Mike also couldn't understand.The only time when their attitudes were roughly similar was when they left the circus and when Jill began to stop caring about people looking at her.She now understands that at that time, she was just beginning to form the self-awareness she is now, and she was not really indifferent to men's eyes.At the time, she had to shed some of her artificial femininity in order to fit in with the visitor from Mars.This kind of thing has been developed since childhood, and it has long been a conditioned reflex, and the nurse profession cannot eradicate it. The problem is, Jill doesn't know there's anything artificial about her until she ditches it.Now she could finally admit to herself that there was something about her that was as cheerful and shameless as a she-cat in heat. She tried to take her theory to Mike, explaining to him the complementarity between narcissistic exhibitionism and voyeurism. "The thing is, Mike, I get carried away by men staring at me... so many men, almost all men. Now I finally understand why Duke likes pictures of women, and the sexier the better. It doesn't mean It’s like I want to fuck them, like Duke doesn’t want to sleep with those pictures either. But when they look at me and tell me—in their minds—I’m attractive, I’m so turned on.” She wrinkled slightly Frowning, "Maybe I should take a picture, put on a particularly nasty pose, and send it to Duke... so he can know that I'm sorry for not being enlightened at the time, and take that as a flaw in him. Even if this It's a flaw, and I have it myself—girly. I mean, if it's a flaw—I realize it's not.” "Okay. Let's get a photographer." She shook her head, "Let's apologize directly. I wouldn't send a picture like that; Duke never flirted with me, and I don't want him to misunderstand." "Jill, don't you want Duke?" He said "Duke" with the word "Water Brother" in mind at the same time, and she heard it, "Mm... I never thought about it. I Guess I'm 'staying true' to you. But I get the idea you're right; I won't refuse Duke - and enjoy it! How about it, darling?" "I'm enlightened to the good," Mike said gravely. "Mm... my Martian knight, a human woman would be very happy if you would show a little jealousy from time to time. But I see no hope of enlightening you about 'jealousy'. My dear, if a fool Flirting with me, how do you understand this?" Mike didn't smile much, "I realized he would disappear." "I get the idea that he might. But, Mike, listen to me, honey. You promised you wouldn't do it unless it was an emergency. If you heard me scream, and searched my heart, Finding real trouble is another story. But then again, I've dealt with perverts since you were on Mars. Nine times out of ten, if a girl gets raped, she's somewhat to blame. So Don't act hastily." "I made a note. Hope you'll send that nasty picture to Duke." "What, dear? If I wanted to flirt with Duke—and since you've got me thinking about it, I'd probably try it—I'd rather grab him by the shoulder and say, 'Duke, How? I do'. I don't want to be like those bastards who send you pictures. But if you want me to do it, no problem." Mike frowned. "If you want to send Duke a nasty photo, do it; if you don't, don't. But I want to see how a nasty photo is taken. Jill, what is a 'dirty' photo ?” Jill's upside-down attitude puzzled Mike, and Duke's "art" collection has bothered him for a long time.Humanity's sexual clamor, its Martian counterpart, is so pale and flat that it doesn't give Mike any basis for understanding narcissism or voyeurism, demure or revealing.He added: "'Dirty' means small mistakes, but I realize you don't mean mistakes, but the opposite." "Well, a nasty picture can be in any situation, depending on who it's for. But, Mike, I don't know what to say, I'll just show you. Close the blinds, please?" The Venetian shutters closed by themselves. "Okay," she said, "it's just a little naughty, any show girl can use it for a work photoshoot... this one's a little naughtier, some girls use it. But this one is undeniably naughty ...this one is pretty nasty...and this one is so nasty I wouldn't take a picture of it with a towel wrapped around my face - unless you wanted to." "Why would I want it if you covered your face?" "Ask Duke. That's all I can tell you." "I didn't realize it was wrong, and I didn't see anything good. I realized—" He used a Martian word, referring to the lack of emotion. Mike still didn't get it, so they continued the discussion, in Martian whenever possible, which was always extremely fine-grained in distinguishing emotion from value, and sometimes in English, because Martian couldn't handle certain concepts.To solve the mystery, Mike got a front row seat that night (Jill had taught him to bribe the foreman).In the first show, Jill came out with great poise, she smiled at everyone, but only winked at Mike.The warm pleasure she enjoyed every night she performed seemed to intensify now that Mike was there—she doubted she could glow in the dark. Mike was only about ten feet from Jill as the girls posed. (She has been promoted to the front row. The director promoted her on the fourth day: "I don't know what's going on, boy. There are many girls who are more attractive than you, but there is something about you that can Keep your guests' eyes peeled.) As she posed, she was talking to Mike in her mind. ("Do you feel anything?") ("I'm enlightened, but not quite.") ("Look where I look, my brother. The little guy. He's shaking. He wants me.") ("I had a vision of his desire.") ("Can you see him?") Jill keeps the guest in the eye, increasing his interest and allowing Mike to borrow hers.For Martians, this practice is very common.As Jill grew closer to Mike and her insight into the Martian mind grew, it was now finally possible for the two of them to do so.Jill's control is still weak.Mike had only to call her to see with her eyes, but if she wanted to borrow his eyes, Mike had to go out of his way to help her. ("We got him together,") Mike said, ("He's hungry for my little brother.") ("!!!!") (“Yes, it’s a beautiful pain.”) The music prompts Jill to start walking slowly.She moves with pride in every gesture.She felt herself echoing Mike's and the stranger's emotions, desire boiling inside her.Her lines led her to the lustful little man; her eyes continued to linger on him. Just then, something completely unexpected happened, Mike had never told her it was possible.Jill has been receiving the stranger's emotions, teasing him with her eyes and body, and passing on her feelings to Mike, but suddenly, she sees herself through a pair of strange eyes, and feels that the other person looks at her. All the original desires in the heart. She stumbled and nearly fell, but Mike "caught" her and stabilized her until she regained her balance.The "Eye of the Sky" just now disappeared. The queue of beauties continues towards the exit.Stepping off the stage, the girl walking behind Jill asked, "What's going on, Jill?" "Stumbled on the heel." "Never seen such a thrilling action. You look like a marionette." (—Exactly, dear!) "I'll have to talk to the stage manager and have him check it out. I think there's a board that's loose in there." They performed again, and Mike gave her another look at how she looked to different men.But this time he was careful not to scare her again.Jill was amazed at how different her images were: one focused on her legs, another mesmerized by her undulating curves, a third staring only at her ample breasts.Then Mike let her see the other girls through his own eyes.Jill found that Mike saw them as she saw them herself, only more clearly.Jill couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief. There was another thing that surprised her: she used Mike's eyes to look at other girls and found herself even more excited. During the final scene, Mike left to avoid being crowded in the crowd at the end of the scene.He only took a short leave of absence to see the show.Jill had thought she would never see him again that night.But when she returned to the hotel, she felt him just outside the door.The door opened and closed behind her. "Hi, dear!" she called, "It's good to be home!" He smiled softly, "Now I have an epiphany of nasty photos." Her clothes disappeared, "Let's take some nasty photos." "What? Well, honey, of course." She took the previous poses in turn.Each time, Mike made her observe him with his eyes.She watched, felt his emotions... and felt her own responding, growing.In the end, she lets her imagination run wild and strikes the most erotic poses she can think of. "Dirty pictures are great," Mike said solemnly. "That's right! Now I'm enlightened too! What are you waiting for?" They quit their jobs and went to every show in town.One thing Jill discovers is that she can only "enlighten on nasty photos" through the eyes of men.If Mike is watching, she shares his emotions, from sensual pleasure to full-on lust.But as soon as Mike turned his attention elsewhere, the models, dancers, or strippers became ordinary women.She felt lucky; it would be too bad if she found homosexuality in herself. But it was so much fun to see girls through his eyes."Very good," as Mike puts it, enthralled Jill.Because she knew that Mike finally looked at herself in this way. They went to Palo Alto, where Mike tried to swallow the entire Hoover Library.Too bad the scanner couldn't run that fast, and Mike couldn't turn the pages fast enough for him to read all the books.Mike finally admits that even if he spends all the time after the library is closed contemplating, he can't absorb the data as fast as he gets epiphany.Relieved, Jill took the two to San Francisco.Here, Mike started his systematic research. One day, she returned to their apartment to find Mike lying idly buried among books.There are tons of books, the Talmud, several versions of the Bible, the Book of the Dead, the Mormon Bible, Pat's precious New Revelation, many apocryphal books, the complete edition, "Tao", "Key to the Classics-Science and Health" and other religious holy books, there are a dozen of them, big and small, even such weird things as "Crowley's Law Book" inside. "Having trouble, dear?" "Jill, I don't understand." ("Be patient, Michael. Wait for the fullness to come.") "I don't think waiting is complete. I know what the problem is: I'm not human, I'm a Martian — a Martian trapped in the wrong body." "You're manly enough for me, honey, and I like your body." "Well, what do you mean by enlightening me. I can't enlighten people. I don't understand how there are so many religions. You see, among my people-" "Your countryman, Mike?" "Sorry, I should have said at the Martian. There's only one religion, and it's not a belief, it's an unmistakable fact. You're like, 'You're God!'" "Yes," she echoed, "in Martian language, I do have a spiritual understanding...but, dearest Mike, the meaning is different in English. I don't know why." "Um... on Mars, if we want to know anything, we can ask the spirit elders, and their answers will never be wrong. Jill, is it true that we humans don't have 'spiritual elders'? Is it possible? I mean There is no soul. When we disintegrate—when we die—are we all dead? . . . nothing remains? Is it because knowledge is irrelevant that we live without knowledge? ?Because we leave no trace of us once we're gone? Because our time here is so short that one long Martian meditation is a whole life to us? Tell me, Jill. You're human." She smiled quietly. "You told me yourself. You taught me eternity, and now you can't take it from me. You can't die, Mike—you just disintegrate." She pointed Pointing to himself, "This body, you taught me to see it through your eyes...you love it so much that one day it will go away. But I won't. I am what I am! You are God and I am God we are God and always will be. I don't know where I'll be or if I'll ever remember that I was Jill Boardman and loved to show her skin and tenderness in bright lights, Equally happy to potty in a hospital. I love this body—” Mike removed her clothes with unusual impatience. "Thank you, dear," said Jill. "It's a fine body for me. For you, too, for both of us. But when I'm done with it, I guess I won't miss it." Yes. I hope you eat it when I disintegrate." "Oh, I'll eat you, yes—unless I disintegrate first." "I don't think so. You can control that beautiful body of yours, much better than I can. I guess you'll live at least a few centuries, unless you decide to disintegrate early." "Maybe I will. But not now. Jill, I've been trying, been trying. How many churches have we been to?" "Every denomination in San Francisco, I think. I don't remember how many seekers' meetings we've been to. "That's just to comfort Pat. You always say Pat needs to know we're not giving up, and if it wasn't for her, I'd never go there again." "She does. We can't lie—you don't know how to lie, and I can't, can't do that to Pat." "To be honest," he admits, "many Firsters are still sincere in their beliefs. They're wrong, of course. But they're groping—like I was at the circus. The problem is they'll never be able to correct themselves. Wrong, because this—" He let Pat's book float, "—it's almost all bullshit in it." "Yes. But that's not what Pat sees. Innocence surrounds her. She's God, and everything she does is God's words and deeds . . . she just doesn't know it." "Well, well," agreed Mike, "this is our Pat. But she only believed she was God when I told her—and I had to say it all over again. But, Jill, I can ask There are only three places. The first is science. But when it comes to how the universe works, what I learned in the nest is beyond the reach of human scientists. The gap between the two is too great. They don't make sense. I'm not belittling scientists, they can only go so far; I'm fully enlightened for that. But what they're after isn't what I'm looking for. Count how many are in the desert of enlightenment A grain of sand is not enough. The second is philosophy. It is said that it should be able to solve all kinds of problems. Is it true? However, any philosopher, whatever point of view he holds at the beginning of his study of philosophy, will remain the same after the study. For example, Kant, Like the others who run after their own tails. Without exception—except for those who delude themselves and use their own conclusions to justify their own assumptions. The answer should be here," he waved at the pile of books, "But not in it. A little real insight, yes, but not regular--even if there were regular, every time you got into trouble, they'd make you believe in it. Faith! What a dirty word. Jill , in the past, you taught me that when dealing with people politely, there are certain words that cannot be said—why didn’t you mention faith then?” Jill laughed: "Mike, you just made a joke." "I didn't mean to be joking... and I don't see what's funny. I don't do you any good, Jill. You used to laugh, I didn't learn, and you've forgotten how to laugh; I failed to become a human... and you became a Martian." "I'm happy, honey, maybe you just don't notice when I laugh." "Even if you were laughing from over on Market Street, I'd hear it. I get it. Since it doesn't scare me anymore, I notice it every time someone laughs—especially you. As long as I If I can empathize with laughter, then I can empathize with people - that's what I think. Then I can help people like Pat...teach her what I know, teach her what she knows We can learn from each other. We can understand each other.” "Mike, Pat just needs you to see her every now and then. Why don't we go, honey? Let's get out of this foggy ghost place. The circus is over for the season and she's home. We're headed south Come on, go see her... I've been meaning to go to Baja California anyway; we can keep going south and enjoy the warmer weather. It'd be fun to just take her along!" "Ok." She stood up. "I'll get dressed first. Do you want to keep those books? I can send them to Jubal." He flicked his fingers.Except for Patricia's gift, all other books disappeared. "We'll take that one; Pat's sure to notice something like that. But, Jill, I've got to go to the zoo." "Row." "A camel spit on me, I'm going to spit it back, and then ask why it lost its temper. Maybe the camel is the 'spiritual old' of this planet... No wonder this place is the way it is." "Two jokes in just one day, Mike." "I didn't laugh. Neither did you. Neither did the camel. Maybe it has an epiphany why. How about this one? Do you want underwear?" "Okay, dear. It's cold out." "Relax, stand up straight." He lifted her up a few feet. "Pants, socks, garters, shoes. Bottoms are on, arms up. Bra? You don't need this. Outerwear now—it's on." Well-groomed, beautiful, whatever that means. You look good. If I can't do anything else, maybe I can be a valet. Baths, shampoos, massages, styling, make-up, and more Outfits for any occasion. I even learned to manicure your nails. Anything else, ma'am?" "You're a perfect maid, dear." "That's right, I've got an epiphany. I do. You look really good, why don't you just throw off your clothes and I'll give you a massage. The kind that grows closer." "Excellent, Michael!" "I thought you had learned to wait. You had to take me to the zoo first and buy me some peanuts." "Okay, Mike." It was cold and windy in Golden Gate Park, and Mike didn't notice, and Jill had learned how to keep herself from getting cold.But it's nice to go to the warm monkey house and relax body control for a while.The only thing Jill likes in the monkey house is the temperature.Monkeys and orangutans are too human-like to be remedied.Jill felt uncomfortable when she saw it. She thought she had been insulated from affectation forever.Indeed, she had learned to cherish all things carnal with an almost Martian gaiety.The public mating and excretion of these apes no longer bothered her.It's not their fault these poor guys are locked up in pens with no privacy.Now that she sees these things, she doesn't have the feeling of abhorrence that she used to have, and she won't be overly sensitive.No, the problem is that they are too human-like. Too much like people.Every movement, every expression, every bewildered look reminded her of the things she disliked the most in her own race. Jill prefers the cat house.The strong male lion is still arrogant even in prison, the big lioness shows a calm motherhood, the eyes of the noble and beautiful Bengal tiger reflect the brilliance of the jungle, the small jaguar is fast and deadly, and the scent of the body is not even air-conditioned. The law can be cleaned up.Mike shared her tastes; they would spend hours there, or go to the aviary, the reptile house, or watch the seals.Once he told her that if she had to be born on this planet, being a sea lion would be the best choice. When he saw the zoo for the first time, Mike was very disturbed; Jill had to order him to wait and get enlightened, or he would release all the animals at once.He soon admitted that most of the animals simply wouldn't survive if they were left alone.A zoo is also a nest, a rather special kind of nest.He huddled for hours after this, and never threatened to destroy the fence, the glass, and the iron bars.He explained to Jill that the purpose of the railing was really to keep people out, not animals in, and he didn't get it at first.Afterwards, wherever they went, Mike would visit the local zoos and never miss a single one. But Mike was so depressed today that even watching the cynical camel didn't make him feel better.The monkeys were no more able to cheer him up than the orangutans.They stood for a long time in front of a cage of capuchin monkeys, watching them eat, sleep, court, and some monkeys tended to each other, groomed, or wandered aimlessly.Jill got out some peanuts and started feeding them. One of the monkeys received a peanut, but before he could stuff it into his mouth, another larger male monkey ran over, snatched the peanut away, and even beat him up.The little thing didn't want to resist at all, it just slammed its knuckles hard on the ground, squeaking angrily and helplessly.Mike looked at him, serious. Suddenly, the bullied monkey rushed to the other side of the cage, picked out a monkey that was smaller than itself, knocked it down hard, and vented all the anger it had received on it.The little monkey crawled away whimpering.The other monkeys didn't even look at them. Mike threw himself back into the sky and laughed out loud—and laughed and laughed uncontrollably.He could barely breathe, and lay on the ground trembling, but he still couldn't stop laughing. "Stop, Mike!" He didn't curl up again, but still laughed wildly.An administrator hurried over, "Ma'am, do you need help?" "Could you call us a cab? Ground, air, whatever—I've got to get him out," she added. "He's not feeling well." "An ambulance? Looks like epilepsy." "Anything!" A few minutes later, she ushered Mike into an air taxi piloted by a human.She gave the driver the address, then said anxiously to Mike, "Listen to me, Mike! Calm down." He calmed down a bit, but he continued to giggle the whole way, then started laughing again, then chuckled again, and didn't stop for a moment.Jill wiped away his tears from laughing.She brought him into the house, undressed him, and made him lie down. "Well, honey, you can curl up if you need to." "I'm fine. I'm finally fine." "I hope so." She sighed. "You scare the hell out of me, Mike." "Sorry, little brother. Didn't I startle myself the first time I heard laughter?" "Mike, what's going on?" "Jill... I have realized human beings!" "Well?"("????) ("That's right, little brother. I'm enlightened.") "I'm enlightened to human beings, Jill...Little brother...Dear little thing...Little rascal with lively legs, lewd and lustful life force...beautiful breasts and naughty back...soft-talking catkins. My darling." "Ah, Michael!" "Oh, I know the words; just don't know when to use them and why...and don't understand why you want me to say that. I love you, sweetheart - and now I've got 'love' too." "You've always had a sense of love. And I love you too... you dead ape. My dear." "'Ape-man', yes. Come here, mother-ape-man, put your arms around me and tell me a joke." "Only jokes?" “嗯，别这样，只搂着就好。讲个我从没听过的笑话，看我能不能笑对地方。我会的，肯定没问题——我还能告诉你它为什么好笑。吉尔……我灵悟了人类！” “可你是怎么做的，心肝儿？能告诉我吗？是不是需要用火星语？或者心灵感应？” “不用，这就是关键。我灵悟了人类。我是人类……所以现在，我能用人类的话来讲了。我发现了人为什么要笑。他们笑是因为痛……因为只有笑才能让他们不再痛苦。” 吉尔大惑不解，“或许不是人类的是我吧。我不明白。” “啊，你是人，小小的女猿人。你完全自发地灵悟了它，以至于根本不必思考。因为你是在人中间长大的。而我不是。我就像一只小狗，被人带走、养大，既没法变成主人那样，也从没学过该怎么做一只狗。所以人家得教我。马哈迈德兄弟教了我，朱巴尔教了我，许多其他人教了我……而你教得最多。今天，我拿到了结业证书——所以我笑了。哦，那只可怜的猴子。” “哪一只，亲爱的？我觉得那只大的卑鄙极了……后来我扔花生给它的那只也一样坏。这里头有什么可笑的？” “吉尔，吉尔我亲爱的！看来你是火星语学得太多了。那当然不好笑，那是场悲剧。所以我不得不笑。我看着一笼猴子，突然间，我看到了我的同胞，看到了他们所有的卑劣、残忍和种种完全无法解释的东西——那一瞬间我痛彻心肺，然后就发现自己正在放声大笑。” “可是——亲爱的迈克，让人发笑的是那些美好的东西……不是那些可怕的事情。” “真的？想想拉斯维加斯。你们姑娘们上台的时候大家笑了吗7” "Well... no." “但你们这些姑娘却是整个表演里最好的东西。现在我灵悟，如果他们哈哈大笑，你们会伤心的。不，让人发笑的是绊跤摔倒的小丑……或者其他什么不好的事情。” “但这不是全部啊。” “哦？或许我还没有完全灵悟吧。给我举个例子吧，甜心……一个笑话、任何东西——但必须是让你笑痛肚子的那种，微笑可不行。然后咱们来看看那里头是不是有些错误，看看假如没有那个错误，你还会不会笑。”他想了想，“我灵悟假如猴子学会了笑，它们就能变成人类了。” “也许。”吉尔并不信服，但还是急切地在记忆里搜索着，她要找些自己无法抗拒的笑话，让她放声大笑的那种： “——她的整个桥牌俱乐部。”……“我该鞠躬吗？”……“哪都不是，你这蠢货——而是……”“——折了一条腿。”……“——找我的麻烦！”……“——可这会坏了我兜风的心情啊。”……“——他的岳母昏了过去。”……“阻止你？三赔一，我赌你能行！”……“——奥利出了点事儿。”……“——你也一样，你这头蠢牛！” 她放弃了所谓“好笑”的故事，告诉自己说那不过是瞎编的。吉尔转而回忆发生过的事件。mischief?所有恶作剧都支持着迈克的理论，就连漏水的杯子这种无伤大雅的也不例外，实习医生眼里的笑话就更甭提了——那些家伙都该关进笼子里。What else?艾尔沙·梅丢了短裤的那回？对于艾尔沙·梅来说那可不好笑。或者——最后，她阴沉沉地说：“很显然，摔个屁股墩儿就是所有幽默的最高境界了。人类竟然是这副模样，迈克，真够惨的。” “噢，不是那样的。” "what?" “过去我以为——人家告诉我——'好笑'的东西是好东西。错了。对于亲身经历的人来说，它从来都不好笑。比如那个没了裤子的治安官。好处是在笑里。我灵悟那是一种勇敢……一种分享……共同抵御痛苦、悲伤和失败。” “可是——迈克，嘲笑别人不是件好事啊。” “不。但我笑的不是那只小猴子。我笑的是我们。人类。我突然明白了自己是人，所以忍不住哈哈大笑。”他顿了顿，“这很难解释，因为无论我怎么跟你说，你还是从没像火星人那样生活过。火星上从来没有任何可笑的东西。对于我们人类来说可笑的事情，在火星上要么没法发生，要么不允许发生——心肝儿，你们所谓的'自由'在火星上根本不存在；一切都由灵老安排好了。还有些事情，在地球上会惹我们发笑，在火星上却没什么可笑的，因为在火星，那种事里面没有错误。比如死亡。” “死亡并不可笑。” “那为什么会有那么多跟死有关的笑话呢？吉尔，对我们——我们人类——来说，死亡太悲伤了，所以我们必须嘲笑它。所有宗教，哪怕在其他任何方面它们都相互矛盾，但每种宗教都在帮助人类勇敢起来，即使知道自己正走向死亡也能放声大笑。”他停了下来，吉尔感到他几乎入定了一般，“吉尔？有没有可能是我搞错了方向？有没有可能是这样，其实所有的宗教，每一个都是真的？” “什么？怎么可能？迈克，假如这一个是真的，那其他的必然错了。” “是吗？指出环绕宇宙的最短路径吧。无论你往哪里指，你指的都是最短的那条……而且，你所指的永远都是你自己。” “唔，那又如何？你已经教会了我真正的答案，迈克。'你是上帝'。” “你也是上帝，我的爱人。这是条最基本的真理，无关信仰，但它或许正说明所有信仰都是真的。” “好吧……如果它们都是真的，那我这就膜拜湿婆如何？”吉尔大幅度动作起来，改变了话题。 “小异教徒。”迈克的声音十分轻柔，“他们会把你赶出旧金山的。” “可咱们不正要去洛杉矶吗……在那儿没人会留意的。噢！你是湿婆。” “跳舞吧，迦梨，跳吧。” 夜里她醒过来，发现他站在窗前，凝视着窗外的城市。（“有麻烦，我的兄弟？”） 他转过身来，“他们没必要这么不快乐。” “亲爱的，亲爱的！我最好带你回家去。城市对你没好处。” “在家里我同样知道。没法逃避。痛苦、疾病、饥饿和冲突——任何一样，没有一点必要。这就像那只小猴子一样愚蠢。” “没错，亲爱的。但这不是你的错——” “啊，可这正是我的错！” “唔……这么说的话——好吧。但也不止这一座城市；地球上有整整五十亿人之多。你没法帮助五十亿人。” “是吗。”他到她身边坐下，“我现在灵悟了他们，我能跟他们讲了。吉尔，现在我可以登台表演了，我有本事让呆子每分钟都笑个不停。我敢肯定。” “那就干吧。帕特会很高兴的——我也一样。我喜欢跟马戏团一块儿走。再说咱们已经同帕特分享过水，那儿就像家一样了。” He didn't answer.吉尔轻触他的心，知道他在沉思，试图灵悟。She waits. “吉尔？我该怎么做才能受领圣职？”