After Becky leaves the screen, Jubal relaxes in his chair. "shorthand."
"Okay, boss." Miriam agreed.
"This script is for the 'True Experiences' club. Note: The narrator's voice must be sexy and deep—"
"Maybe I should try."
"It doesn't have to be so sexy. A pseudonym, one of the obsolete surnames we got from the Census Bureau, and a naive, mammalian name. A girl whose name starts with 'Na ’ ending—a suffix that always implies a C cup.”
"Hmm. And none of us have a name ending in 'Na'. You filthy bastard!"
"—a bunch of airports, isn't it? 'Angelina'. Her name is 'Angelina'. Title: "I Married a Martian." Opening: I've wanted to be an astronaut all my life. Split lines. When I was a little thing, with a little freckle on my nose and stars in my eyes, I collected box lids with my brothers — and slept in an astronaut helmet, crying and fuming if my mom objected. Tikin. In my carefree childhood, I never dreamed that this boyish ambition would bring me such a colorful and bittersweet life—”
"boss!"
"What is it, Dorcas?"
"There are two more teams."
"On hold. Miriam, sit in front of the phone." Jubal went to the window and saw two air vehicles were about to land. "Larry, bar the door. Annie, your coat. Jill, stay Be with Mike. Mike, do what Jill says."
"Okay, Jubal. I will."
"Jill, don't let him move unless it's necessary. And I hope he'll take the gun away and leave him alone."
"Okay, Jubal."
"The Secret Service can no longer be purged indiscriminately."
"Call, boss!"
"No one in the camera. Miriam, take another title: "I Married a Human." Jubal slid into the chair, "Hello?"
— Zhang looked at him expressionlessly, "Dr. Harshaw?"
"it's me."
"The secretary wants to talk to you."
"Okay." The screen switched to a casual face, which was the Honorable Joseph Edgerton Douglas, Secretary General of the World Federation of Free States. "Dr. Harshaw? I hear you need to talk to me."
"No, sir."
"what?"
"Let me put it another way, Mr. Secretary General. You need to talk to me."
Douglas was taken aback, and then smiled: "Doctor, you have ten seconds to prove this."
"Very well, sir. I am an agent for the visitor from Mars."
Douglas was no longer indifferent. "Say it again?"
"I am the surrogate of Valentine Michael Smith. In the spirit of the Larkin ruling, I can be considered the de facto ambassador of Mars."
"You're crazy!"
"In a word, I represent the visitor from Mars, and he is ready to negotiate."
"The Man from Mars is currently in Ecuador."
"Please, Mr. Secretary, Smith - the real Valentine Michael Smith, not the one in the news - escaped from Bethesda Medical Center last Thursday with Nurse Jill Boardman .He was free and will remain free. If your men tell anything different from that, someone is lying."
Douglas thought about it.Someone offscreen said something to him.Finally he said: "Even if you tell the truth, doctor, you can't speak for young Smith. He is in the custody of the state."
Jubal shook his head. "Impossible. Larkin ruled."
"You see, as a lawyer, I can assure you—"
"As a lawyer myself, I have to follow my own advice - and protect my clients."
"Are you a lawyer? You just called yourself a legal representative, not a lawyer."
"Both. I'm sworn in the High Court and I'm a barrister." Jubal glanced sideways at the sound of a dull explosion downstairs.Larry whispered, "I think it's the front door, sir, want me to see it?"
Jubal shook his head. "Mr. Secretary, time is running out. Your people - your Secret Service punks - are breaking down doors. Can you stop this nasty act? So we can negotiate? Or should we argue it out in the High Court ? Of course, the latter approach will inevitably lead to a series of scandals."
The Secretary-General seemed to be conferring with someone off-screen again. "Doctor, if the Secret Service tried to arrest you, I wouldn't know. I—"
"Listen, sir, you'll hear them banging the stairs! Mike! Anne! Come here." Jubal pushed back his chair so the camera could capture them both. "Mr. Secretary-General from Mars!" He couldn't introduce Anne, but she and the white coat that symbolized integrity also appeared on the screen.
Douglas stared at Smith; Smith looked back at him, seeming uneasy. "Jubbal—"
"Wait, Mike. What's up, Mr. Secretary? Your men have broken into my house—I hear them knocking on my study door." Jubal turned his head. "Larry, open the door." He asked Mike held out a hand. "Don't get excited, kid."
"Okay, Jubal. That man, I know him."
"He knows you, too," Jubal called over his shoulder, "Come here, Sergeant."
A special service sergeant stood in the doorway, a flat-end riot gun in his hand.He shouted: "Major! Here they are!"
Douglas said, "Let me speak to their commander, doctor."
Jubal was relieved when the major approached, his gun still in its holster—Mike had been trembling since seeing the sergeant's gun.Jubal didn't waste his affection for these soldiers, but he didn't want Smith to show his strength either.
The major looked around. "Are you Jubal Harshaw?"
"Yes. Come here, your boss calls you."
"Stop this. Come with me. I'm still looking for—"
"Come here! The Secretary-General has something to say to you."
The Secret Service Major seemed startled. He walked into the study and came to the screen.Just glanced at the screen, immediately stood at attention with a snap, and saluted.Douglas nodded. "Name, rank and mission."
"Sir, Major C. D. Broch, Special Service Forces Celio Air Detachment, Incleve Barracks."
"Tell me what you're doing."
"Sir, the situation is complicated. I—"
"Then explain it bit by bit. Speak up, Major."
"Yes, sir. I came here on orders. You know—"
"I have no idea."
"Well, sir, an hour and a half ago, a flight squad was dispatched to arrest a few prisoners. We lost radio contact and I was sent to find them and provide support."
"Whose order?"
"Well, Commander's, sir."
"Have you found them yet?"
"No, sir. Nothing at all."
Douglas looked at Harshaw. "Lawyer, have you seen any sign of another squad?"
"It is not my duty to keep track of the whereabouts of your subordinates, Mr. Secretary-General."
"That's hardly an answer."
"You're right, sir. But I'm not being interrogated right now. I'm not going to be interrogated unless there's a legal process. I represent my clients; Nanny. But judging from what I've seen, I guess they couldn't find a pig if there was one in the tub."
"Mmm...it's possible. Major, get your men together and return."
"Yes, sir!" The major gave a military salute.
"Wait a minute!" interrupted Harshaw. "These men broke into my house. I want them to show their warrants."
"Oh, Major, show him your warrant."
Major Broch blushed. "Sir, the arrest warrant is in the possession of the officer who preceded me."
Douglas' eyes widened. "Young man... you mean you broke into a citizen's house without a warrant?"
"But—sir, you don't understand! We have a warrant, with Captain Heinrich, sir."
Douglas looked disgusted. "Return now. Arrest yourself. See you later."
"Yes, sir."
"Wait," Harshaw demanded, "I'm going to use my citizen's right to arrest. I'm going to send him to our local jail. Charged with 'armed damage and trespassing.'"
Douglas blinked, "Is this necessary?"
"I think so. I'm afraid it's going to be hard to find these guys if they get away. I don't want this guy out of our local jurisdiction. Aside from criminal issues, I haven't had time to assess the property damage yet."
"I assure you, sir, that you will be fully compensated."
"Thank you, sir. But how do I know there won't be another clown in military uniform coming? He doesn't even need to break down the door! My castle has been violated, and any trespasser can walk right in. Secretary General Sir, if my once strong door hadn't held up for a while, this rascal would have dragged me away before I had a chance to speak to you... and as you heard, there was another fellow like him who still At large - with a warrant, as he says."
"Doctor, I have no knowledge of this arrest warrant."
"Not one, sir. He said there were several. Perhaps they would be better called 'Secret Warrants.'"
"This is a very serious allegation."
"It's a serious problem."
"Doctor, I would know nothing about these arrest warrants, even if they existed. But I assure you personally that I will investigate the matter immediately to find out why these documents were signed and take appropriate action." actions. Isn’t that enough?”
"Not so far, sir. I can deduce how these arrest warrants are signed. One of your men, in a moment of overzealousness, had some obedient judge sign it...in order to catch me and my guest , interrogate us, and out of your sight. Out of anyone's sight, sir! We'll discuss matters with you... but we won't be locked up in some dark room without windows, let Such a man—" he pointed his thumb at the major, "—comes to question us! Sir, I hope to have justice in your hands. But if these arrest warrants are not immediately annulled, and if I cannot get certainty, Guaranteeing that the visitor from Mars, Nurse Boardman, and myself will be left undisturbed and free to move about, then—" Jubal shrugged resignedly,"—I'll have to seek a protector. There are quite a few individuals outside the government As far as I know, they all have a strong interest in visitors from Mars."
"You're threatening me."
"No, sir. I'm begging. We want to negotiate, but we can't negotiate while being hunted. I beg you, sir—call your dog back!"
Douglas glanced sideways. "Those arrest warrants - if there are any - will not be executed. As soon as I find them, they will be withdrawn."
"thank you, sir."
Douglas looked at Major Broch and said, "You insist on bringing him to justice?"
"Him? Oh, he's just a fool in uniform. Forget about damages. You and I have more serious issues to discuss."
"You can go, Major." The secret service officer turned around after saluting, and left the study quickly.Douglas continued, "Mr. Counsel, the issues you have raised cannot be resolved over the phone."
"You and your, er, client, will be guests of the mansion. I'll send my yacht. Can you be ready in an hour?"
Harshaw shook his head, "Thank you, Mr. Secretary-General. If we sleep, we'd better sleep here... At that time, I will dig out a dog sled or something. There is no need to send your yacht."
Mr. Douglas frowned. "Come on, doctor! As you said yourself, the talks will be quasi-diplomatic. Now that I admit this, official hospitality must be provided accordingly."
"Well, sir, when it comes to official entertainment, my client has had too much to do to avoid it.
Douglas' expression became very stiff, "Sir, are you implying—"
"I'm not suggesting anything. Smith has been through a lot and is not used to high standards of decorum. He sleeps more peacefully here. So do I. I am older, sir, and I prefer my own bed. I should also point out , negotiations may break down, and my client may have to find another way out. Then we would be embarrassed to be guests under your roof."
The Secretary-General said sternly: "Another threat. I thought you trusted me, sir. I heard you clearly, didn't you say 'hope to negotiate'?"
"I do trust you, sir (to hell with trusting you), and I do intend to negotiate; but when I say 'negotiate' I mean it in the sense that it is, not 'compromise' in the other sense now in vogue. Of course , we'll be very reasonable; but we can't start talking right away. We're short of an agent, so we'll have to wait. How long, I don't know."
"What do you mean?"
"The representation on the government side is of course at your discretion, but we have the same right."
"Naturally. Just don't have too many people, okay? I'll handle it myself, plus an assistant or two, the Deputy Attorney General . It takes a small group of people - the fewer, the better."
"Of course, as it should be. We won't be many. Smith, myself, I'll take a notary—"
"Oh, come on!"
"The notary won't be in the way. We'll have one or two others. I've been instructed that a man named Ben Caxton must attend... and I can't find the guy.
Jubal had planned for hours just to throw that sentence.He waits.Douglas' eyes widened. "Ben Caxton? You mean the worthless contemporary?"
"That Ben Caxton I'm talking about has a column in a newspaper."
"Impossible!"
Harshaw shook his head. "Then there is nothing to talk about, Mr. Secretary-General. There is no room for maneuver in the instructions I have received. Sorry for wasting your time. Please allow me to resign." He held out his hand, as if to end the call.
"etc!"
"Your Mightiness?"
"I'm not finished yet!"
"I ask the Secretary-General to forgive me. I should have waited for your permission to step down."
"Okay, okay, nothing. Doctor, do you read the bullshit from the Capitol, that is, the so-called news?"
"My God, no!"
"I wish I didn't have to suffer that. So it's absurd to have journalists present. We'll see them when everything is settled. And, if they were to be involved, Ben Caxton couldn't do it. Then People are poison...the worst of all paparazzi."
"Mr. Secretary General, we don't mind exposure. In fact, we insist on it."
"It's ridiculous!"
"Maybe. But I have a duty to my client. I will do what I feel is best for my client. If we can come to an agreement that affects the planet he calls home, then I want everyone on this planet to make the process and outcome of the negotiations clear; conversely, if we fail, we must also let everyone know how the talks broke down. There will be no black box here, Mr. Secretary General. "
"Damn it, you know I'm not talking about black-box operations! I'm talking about quiet, methodical meetings, and don't hold everyone back!"
"Let the media cameras and microphones take part then, sir. . . elbows stay out. That reminds me - later today, we'll be doing an interview on the network, with my client and I. When the time comes, I will announce the talks that we requested to be made public."
"What? You can't be interviewing now, absolutely not. Jesus, that's totally against the spirit of this discussion."
"I don't see it. Are you implying that citizens must ask your permission to communicate with the media?"
"No, of course not, but—"
"I'm afraid it's too late now. Things are already arranged, and if you really want to stop it, the only way to stop it is to send some more truckloads of villains. I mention our interview because you may want to hold a press conference." Press conference — just before our interview. Inform the public that the Martian visitor has returned and is on vacation in the Poconos. Lest the government appear to be caught off guard. You know what I mean?"
"I understand," the secretary glared at Harshaw, "just a moment, please." He moved away from the screen.
Harshaw covered the microphone with one hand and beckoned Larry to come to him with the other. "Listen, kid," he whispered, "the receiver isn't working, I'm just bluffing on my part. Maybe he's going to order a press conference now... or maybe he's going to let the dog bite, I don't know ...you sneak out, find another phone, call Tom Mankenzie, and tell him that if he doesn't get the machine right, he's going to miss the biggest story since the fall of Troy. Then you come back here. Be careful on the road , maybe there is a note."
"How can I get in touch with Mankenzi?"
"Well—" Douglas had returned to the screen at this time, "ask Miriam."
"Dr. Harshaw, I accept your suggestion. The content of the press conference is almost exactly as you said...with some details to support our statement." Douglas showed his trademark friendly smile, "I also added that : The government will discuss interstellar relations with the visitor from Mars as soon as he recovers from the fatigue of his journey. The discussions will be open... quite open." His smile cooled, becoming less of a good old man.
Harshaw grinned, and the other party really made him admire him.The old thief had just received a punch, but he rolled on the spot, turning the government's defeat into an active offensive.
"It's perfect, Mr. Secretary-General! We will definitely cooperate with your rhetoric!"
"Thank you. Now let's talk about this Ben Caxton. The terms that allow the media to be present don't apply to him. He can watch the broadcast, sit in front of the stereo and write his nonsense, but he won't be there."
"Then there will be no talks, Mr. Secretary General, no matter what you just said to the media."
"I'm afraid you don't understand me, Mr. Lawyer. This man has offended me. It's a matter of personal likes and dislikes."
"You are right, sir. It is indeed a matter of personal likes and dislikes."
"Then there is no need to talk about it any more."
"You miss me. It's really a matter of personal likes and dislikes. But it's not yours. It's Smith's."
"what?"
"You have a right to pick your own counselors, and we wouldn't complain if the devil himself had been called in. Smith has a right to pick your own counselors, too. If Ben Caxton isn't there, we're not going. We're going to some Very different meeting. And that meeting is not going to welcome you, even if you can speak Hindi."
Analyzing from the perspective of clinical medicine, Harshaw originally thought that a man of Douglas' age would not be prone to get angry at every turn.After a long time, Douglas spoke again——it was the visitor from Mars.
Mike remains on camera, quiet and patient, like a notary.Douglas asked: "Smith, why are you insisting on this ridiculous condition?"
Harshaw said at once: "Don't answer, Mike!"—then turning to Douglas, "Tut, tut, Mr. Secretary! Law! Law! You must not ask my client why he gave me instructions. Besides, I Your client of , who has only recently learned English, is powerless against you, which makes your violation of the law all the more serious. If you would learn Martian, I might allow you to ask this question...in his language. But no Nowadays."
Douglas frowned. "I could have asked you what kind of law you were talking about so casually. But I don't have the time; I have a government to run. Don't expect me to talk to this Ben anyway." Caxton shaking hands!"
"As you wish, sir. Now to return to the opening question. I have been unable to locate Ben Caxton."
Douglas laughed. "That's the right you've been insisting on? Even if it displeases me? Bring whoever you want. But how to gather them is up to you."
"Fair enough, sir. But would you do the Martian visitor a favor?"
"Huh? What's the matter?"
"Talks won't start until we find Ben Caxton. That's non-negotiable. The problem is I can't find him. I'm just a normal citizen."
"What's the meaning?"
"I've had the utmost contempt for the Secret Service just now. One cannot help feeling aggrieved when one sees one's own gate destroyed. But I know that they can be astonishingly effective, and that the police everywhere will cooperate with them. Mr. Secretary-General, If you call your Secretary of the Secret Service and tell him that you want to track down someone immediately ... you see, sir, in one hour, that call will lead to more action than I have tried in a century."
"For the sake of the planet, why should I alert the police everywhere to find a reporter who sells scandal?"
"It's not for the sake of 'Earth', my dear sir, it's for the sake of 'Mars'. I make this request in the hope that you can do the visitor from Mars a favor."
"Well... this is ridiculous, but I agree." Douglas looked at Smith and said, "It's a favor for Smith. When we sit down to talk, I hope you will cooperate in the same way."
"I assure you, this will greatly ease the current situation."
"Okay, but I can't make any promises. You say the man is missing. He may have fallen in front of the truck, and he may have died."
Harshaw looked solemn, "For the sake of everyone, let us pray that he is still alive."
"What do you mean?"
"I've tried to point out this possibility to my client, but he won't listen to it at all." Harshaw sighed. "It's a mess, sir. If we can't find Ben Caxton, we'll find this: a mess." .”
"Well... I'll try. But don't expect any miracles, doctor."
"Not me, sir. My client. He always sees things from the Martian point of view... so really expect a miracle. Let's hope it happens."
"I will contact you again. I can't guarantee any more." Harshaw sat in the chair and bowed. "I am your obedient servant, sir."
The image of Douglas disappeared, and Jubal stood up—and found Jill's arm around his neck. "Oh, Jubal, you are amazing!"
"We're still stuck in the woods, boy."
"If anything could save Ben's life, it's what you just did." She kissed him.
"Hey, don't do this! Kissing, I swore off it before you were born. Please show me a little respect for my age." He carefully and thoroughly Kiss Jill, "To get rid of the smell of Douglas - kicking him and kissing him makes me sick. Now go kiss Mike, he deserves it, praise him for not exposing my lie."
"Oh, of course!" Jill let go of Harshaw and put her arms around the Martian visitor. "What a lie, Jubal!" She kissed Mike.
Jubal watched as Mike initiated the second phase of the kiss, dignified but not quite a novice.Harshaw gave him a B minus and an A for effort.
"Son," he said, "you surprised me. I thought you were going to pass out and curl up again."
"The first time we kissed," Mike replied solemnly, without letting go of Jill, "it did."
"Really! Congratulations, Jill. AC or DC?"
"Jubbal, you're a laughing stock, but I love you anyway so I don't want you to piss me off. Mike was a little uncomfortable the first time, but you see, that's in the past."
"Yeah," Mike agreed, "that's a good thing. Water brothers, it's a bond. I'll show you." He let Jill go.Jubal raised his palm: "No."
"No?"
"You'll be disappointed, boy. Brother Water would have to be a pretty young girl, like Jill, to grow so close."
"Jubbal my brother, are you right?"
"I'm right. Kissing girls all you want is better than playing bloody poker."
"Feel sorry?"
"It's a great way to get closer...with the girls. Mmm..." Jubal looked around, "I wonder if the first time will happen again? Dorcas, I need your help Do a science experiment."
"Boss, I'm not a guinea pig! Go to hell."
"In due course, I will. Don't be so hard on me, girl; Mike doesn't have a contagion, or I wouldn't let him use the pool. That reminds me: Miriam, when Larry gets back, tell He, I want him to clean the pool—we don't need a pool of muddy water any more. How about it, Dorcas?"
"How do you know it's the first time I'm with him?"
"Well, that's a question. Have you ever kissed Dorcas, Mike?"
"No, Jubal. I just found out today that Dorcas is my water brother."
"Is she?"
"Yes. Dorcas and Anne and Miriam and Larry. They are your water brothers, my brothers Jubal."
"Well, yes. In essence."
"Yes. Sharing water is not the essence, spiritual enlightenment is the essence. Am I right?"
"Exactly, Mike."
"They are your water brothers." Mike paused, choosing words, "According to the principle of equivalence, they are also my brothers." Mike turned his gaze to Dorcas, "It is good for water brothers to grow closer .”
Jubal said, "How is it, Dorcas?"
"Ah? Oh, my God! Boss, you're the worst teaser in the world. But Mike's not a teaser. He's cute." Dorcas walked up to Mike, stood on tiptoe, lifted arms, "Kiss me, Mike."
Mike kissed.Over the next period of time, they began to "grow closer."
Dorcas fainted.
Jubal held her up.Jill had to use a stern tone lest Mike shudder into a crouch.Dorcas recovers, assures Mike that she's fine, and would love to grow close again—but with a breather. "Wow!"
Miriam's eyes widened, "I don't know if I dare to take this risk?"
Annie said: "Come in order of seniority. Boss, you don't need me to be a notary anymore, do you?"
"not necessary for now."
"Then hold my coat for me. Wanna make a bet?"
"How to bet?"
"Seven to two, I won't faint—but I don't mind losing either."
"make a deal."
"Not seven hundred, just bet seven. Mike dear... let's get closer."
The lack of oxygen made Annie have to give up first; Mike had experienced the training of Mars and was more adaptable to the anaerobic state.Annie panted heavily: "I think I took advantage of you, boss, I'll give you another chance to win the money back."
She offered Mike her face again, but Miriam tapped her on the shoulder, "Out."
"Don't be in such a hurry."
"I said 'out'. Get in line on the tail, woman."
"Oh, all right!" Annie stepped aside.Miriam filled her place, smiling and saying nothing.They grew close, and continued to grow closer.
"Answer the phone!"
Miriam looked around, "Boss, don't you see that I'm busy?"
"Okay! Get out of the way, I will pick it up myself."
"Honestly, I didn't hear at all."
"Obviously. At least put on a face, maybe it's the Secretary-General."
It's Mankenzie. "Jubbal, what the hell is going on here?"
"in trouble?"
"I got a call urging me to put everything down and get going because you have something for me. I sent a mobile team to your place—"
"No one came."
"I know. They called. These guys were wandering north of your house, and my dispatcher showed them the way. They'll be here any minute. I've been calling you, but the line is busy. I missed it Is there anything?"
"Not yet." Damn it, he should have sent someone to guard the Chichiguagua box.Has Douglas made it public?Or will there be another group of scoffs?And while these kids are playing kisses!Jubal, you are useless! "Has there been any special news in the past hour?"
"Well, no—oh, one thing: The Secretary-General's residence announced that the visitor from Mars has returned and is currently on vacation at—Jubal! What have you to do with this?"
"Wait a minute. Mike, come here. Annie, put on your coat."
"Okay, boss."
"Mr. Mankenzie, come and meet the visitor from Mars."
Mankenzie's jaw dropped. "Wait! I'm going to get the video camera! Let's do it on the phone first - as soon as my clowns get here, I'll do it again in stereo. Jubal...is this safe? You won't—"
"If I want to lie to you, will I find a notary to stand in front of you? I won't force you. Maybe we should wait until the hundred-eyed giant and the whole planet come and then act together."
"Jubbal! You can't do this to me."
"I won't. I have an agreement with all of you that if I give the signal, you will start the cameras. If something newsworthy is caught, it will be broadcast. But for additional interviews, I have no promises to anyone. No." He added, "Tom, you not only lent me the equipment, but you did me a huge favor yourself. I can't tell you how important it was."
"You mean, uh, the phone number?"
"Correct, but you don't mention that again, Tom. You can ask me privately—next year."
"Oh, I won't ask. You just sew your mouth shut, and so do I. Now, don't leave the phone—"
"And one more thing. I sent you those messages I was going to send at any time, and send them back."
"What? Alright. They've been in my drawer, what a fuss you are. Jubal, the camera is ready. Shall we start?"
"Just ask."
"This time I will do it myself!" Mankenzi turned his face and seemed to be looking at the camera lens, "News! New Century TV Network, your reporter will bring you fresh and hot live reports as soon as possible! The visitor from Mars just Calling, he wants to talk to you! Hold on. Control room, insert thank you to the newsletter sponsor. Jubal, is there anything I should pay special attention to?"
"Don't ask about South America. Swimming is the safest topic. As for his next plan, you can ask me."
"End interjection. Friends, you are now face-to-face with the visitor from Mars, Valentine Michael Smith! New World Television Network, always at the forefront of news. As we just said, Mr. Smith has just left the tower Andes, we welcome him back to our midst! Wave to your friends, Mr. Smith."
("Wave at the phone, kid. Smile and wave.")
"Thank you, Mr. Valentine Michael Smith. We are glad to see you so healthy and tanned. I hear you have been swimming to keep fit?"
"Boss! There's a visitor. Or someone else."
"Stop! - cut after 'Fitness'. What the hell, Jubal?"
"I'll go and see. Jill, keep an eye on Mike—maybe he's one of the Secretary General's men."
It's actually nothing but the Shinsegae TV Network's panel that's landing.Once again the rose bushes suffered.Larry, who had gone out to call Mankenzie, also returned, and Duke returned at the same time.Now that three-dimensionality and color were available, Mankenzie decided to wrap up the phone interview as soon as possible.Taking advantage of this opportunity, his men went to inspect the equipment lent to Jubal.Larry and Duke followed suit.
The following telephone interviews were all nonsense, and Jubal dealt with the questions that Mike couldn't understand; Mankenzi finally assured the audience that he would give you a three-dimensional color interview soon. "Please lock the New World Television Network!" Now it is only waiting for the technical staff to come to report.
After a while, the group leader returned to the study. "The equipment here is all right, Mr. Mankenzie."
"What happened before?"
The technician glanced at Larry and Duke. "It would work better if it had power. The breaker at the switchboard wasn't on."
This led to an altercation. Did Duke actually tell Larry that the circuit breakers had to be reset in order to activate the equipment?Harshaw stopped them, and he wasn't interested in who was at fault—and besides, what happened just confirmed his point: technology peaked around the time of the Model T Ford, and it started to go downhill after that.They completed stereoscopic color interviews.Mike said hello to his friends on the "Victor" and sent Dr. Mahmed a strident Martian speech.
Finally, Jubal was able to set the call to reject calls for two hours.He stretched, feeling so exhausted that he wondered if he was getting old. “晚饭在哪儿？你们这些姑娘，哪一个轮到今晚做饭来着？老天，这个家已经完蛋了，简直不成样子。”
“今晚轮到我，”吉尔回答道，“可是——”
“借口，永远都有借口！”
“老板，”安妮尖刻地打断了他，“整个下午你都把我们关在这儿，还能指望谁去做饭？”
“这个问题无关紧要。”朱巴尔顽固地说，“就算世界末日的圣魔大战在这地方上演，只要最后的号角还没吹响，我仍然要求热腾腾的三餐准时上桌。再说了——”
“再说了，”安妮接口道，“现在不过七点四十分，八点开饭时间还有的是。所以别再嚎了，爱哭鬼。”
“差二十分钟才到八点？离午餐好像已经有一个星期那么久了。文明人得在晚餐前来一杯，你们没把这段时间留出来。”
“可怜的人儿呀！”
“谁给我来杯酒。给每个人都来杯酒。咱们别管什么晚餐了；我现在就像根淋了雨的帐篷绳子，浑身紧巴巴的。安妮，咱们的瑞典式自助餐还有多少？”
“多着呢。”
“干吗不解冻个十八九种，谁想吃的时候就吃点儿？这有什么可吵的？”
“就来。”吉尔答应道。
安妮停下来吻吻他的秃头，“老板，你今天干得漂亮极了。我们会把你喂得饱饱的，让你喝个烂醉如泥，然后送你上床睡觉。等等，吉尔，我来帮忙。”
“我帮忙也可以？”迈克急切地问。
“当然，迈克。你可以来端盘子。老板，晚餐设在游泳池旁边，今晚挺热的。”
“还能在哪儿？”等他们离开之后，朱巴尔转向杜克，“你他妈究竟哪儿去了？”
“思考。”
“思考不会给你赚来薪水，而且会让你越思考越不满于现状。有结果了？”
“是的，”杜克回答道，“我决定了，迈克要吃什么是他自己的事儿。”
“恭喜！不去管别人的闲事，人类一切智慧的百分之八十都浓缩在这句话里。”
“可你就管了别人的闲事。”
“谁说我有智慧了？”
“朱巴尔，如果我献给迈克一杯水，他会搞完他那套仪式吗？”
“我想他会的。杜克，迈克身上只有一点人类的特质，那就是，他想要别人喜欢自己，想得要命。但我得先确保你明白这件事有多严重。我成为他水兄弟时压根儿没弄明白那是怎么一回事，结果只好在它的责任里头越陷越深。这种关系要求你做出承诺，永远不欺骗他，永远不误导他，无论发生什么，你都要忠于他。最好先考虑考虑。”
“我一直在考虑。朱巴尔，迈克身上有些东西，让你想要关心他。”
“我知道。你过去大概从没碰上过诚实，还有纯真。迈克从未尝过善恶树上的果实……所以我也弄不清他体内那些个发条到底是靠什么滴滴答答转起来的。好吧，我希望你永远不会后悔。”说着，朱巴尔抬头一看，“我还以为你不是倒酒、是去酿酒了呢。”
拉里回答道：“开瓶器找了老半天。”
“又是这些跟机械有关的破事儿。杜克，那边《忧郁的解剖学》背后有酒杯——”
“我知道你把它们藏在哪儿。”
“——认认真真喝起来之前咱们先来上一小杯。”杜克拿来了杯子；朱巴尔倒上酒，举起自己的那杯，道：“为沉醉于酒精的兄弟情谊干杯……比其他任何一种情谊都更适合人类脆弱的灵魂。”
“为健康。”
"cheers."
朱巴尔把酒倒进喉咙。“啊！”他高高兴兴地打了个嗝，“给迈克一些，杜克，让他知道做人类有多好。它让我觉得很有创造力。”速记！为什么我需要的时候这些姑娘总不在身边？速记！
“该我'速记，'”米丽安在门边答道，“不过——”
“——这种小男孩的抱负呀，会为自己带来怎样异彩纷呈、苦乐交织的命运。”
“那个故事，在你跟秘书长聊天的时候我已经写完了。”
“那你就不是'速记'了。把它寄走。”
“你不想读读吗？反正我也要修改的——跟迈克接吻给了我新的灵感……”
朱巴尔哆嗦了一下。“'读读'？老天爷！写那玩意儿已经够糟的了。还有，别去改它，千万别想让它符合事实。我的孩子，一个真正的忏悔故事绝不应该被哪怕一丁点儿事实所污染。”
“好的，老板。安妮说让你们去游泳池，吃饭前先垫垫肚子。”
“时间再合适没有了。咱们这就换个地方，先生们？”
宴会进行得滑溜顺畅，主要是靠了酒精作调剂，外加一点点鱼肉和其他来自斯堪的纳维亚半岛的吃食。朱巴尔邀请迈克尝了尝白兰地的味道。迈克发现结果令人不安，于是他分析了自己的麻烦，给酒精中加入氧气，催动一个反发酵的内部进程，将它转化成了葡萄糖和水。
朱巴尔一直在观察火星来客对酒的反应。他眼看着对方很快就醉了，却又在更短的时间内清醒过来。为了理解这种现象，他敦促对方喝下更多的白兰地。迈克接受了，因为这是他的水兄弟给予的。直等到迈克吸收了数量惊人的白兰地之后，朱巴尔终于承认，想灌醉他是不可能的。
朱巴尔的情况大不相同，尽管他接受过多年的酒精侵蚀。试验期间与迈克的推杯换盏让他的才智大为迟钝，口齿也不利索了；所以，当他询问迈克是怎么做的时，对方却以为他问的是特勤分队袭击的事。在那件事上，迈克隐约有些负罪感。他试着解释，希望朱巴尔能原谅他。
朱巴尔好一会儿才意识到这孩子说的是什么，于是赶紧打断了他。“孩子，我不想知道。你做了必须做的——这很好。不过——”他像猫头鹰似的眨了眨眼睛，“——别告诉我。永远别告诉任何人。”
“别？”
“'别'，自从我那位长了两个脑袋的叔叔自己跟自己辩论自由白银贸易、然后自己驳倒了自己以来，这是我见过的最要命的事儿。越解释越糊涂。”
“我没灵悟。”
“我也一样。所以咱们还是再来一杯吧。”
记者开始抵达。朱巴尔彬彬有礼地接待了他们，邀请他们吃喝放松——只是别来纠缠火星来客或者他自己。
那些没能克制自己的家伙被扔进了游泳池。
朱巴尔把拉里和杜克留在身边，以便随时施行洗礼。有些人火冒三丈，其他一些自愿加人浸水小组，同时展现出改宗者才有的狂热激情——当他们第三次企图把《纽约时报》一位李普曼式的老资格扔进水里时，朱巴尔不得不出面干涉。
夜里晚些时候，朵卡丝找到朱巴尔，对他悄声道：“电话，老板。”
“让他留个口信。”
“你必须去，老板。”
“我会拿把斧头去！我一直想干掉那玩意儿——现在就有这兴致。杜克，给我把斧头。”
“老板！是今天下午跟你谈了很久的那个人。”
“哦。你怎么不早说？”朱巴尔跌跌撞撞地上了楼。他插上门，来到电话跟前。屏幕上是道格拉斯的另一个助手，不过道格拉斯本人很快取而代之。“你接电话花的时间可真够长的。”
“这是我的电话，秘书长先生。有时候我根本不接。”
“看来的确如此。本·卡克斯顿是个酒鬼，你怎么没跟我提过？”
“他是酒鬼？”
“当然是！他喝了个天昏地暗，先前正躺在索诺拉的一家廉价旅馆里醒酒呢。”
“就是说已经找到他了。我很高兴听到这个消息。谢谢您，先生。”
“警方以'流浪罪'逮捕了他。但我们不准备起诉。我们会释放他，把他交到你手里。”
“我欠您的情，先生。”
“哦，这并不全是什么人情！我们找到他时什么样，你见到他时就什么样。脏兮兮的，胡子也没刮，而且据我所知，一身酿酒厂的味儿。他就是这么个流浪汉，我想让你亲眼看个明白。”
“很好，先生。估计什么时候能到？”
“运送车辆刚刚离开诺加莱斯。四马赫的速度，应该很快就能到你们头顶了。驾驶员会把他交给你，再带回一张收据。
“他会拿到收据的。”
“现在，律师先生，这件事与我再无干系了。我希望你和你的客户如约前来，带不带那个造谣生事的醉鬼随你们的便。”
“同意。什么时候？”
“明早十点？”
“趁早了结。同意。”
朱巴尔走下楼梯，出了屋子，“吉尔！上这儿来，孩子。”
“好的，朱巴尔。”她快步走了过来，身边还跟着个记者。朱巴尔挥手让他离开。“私事，”他坚定地说，“家庭事务。”
“谁的家？”
“你家的葬礼。快滚！”记者咯咯笑着走开了。朱巴尔弯下腰，轻声道：“他安全了。”
“本？”
“是的。他很快就到。”
“哦，朱巴尔！”她哭起来。
朱巴尔抓住她的肩膀，“停下。进屋去，等你控制住自己再出来”
"Okay, boss."
“抱着枕头哭去吧，记得过后洗把脸。”他走到游泳池边，“大家安静！我有事情宣布。我们很高兴招待大家——但是晚会结束了。”
"whispering sound!"
“把他扔水里去。我是个老头子，需要休息。我的家人也一样。杜克，把这些酒瓶塞起来。姑娘们，把食物收拾好。”
四下里一片嘟嘟囔嚷，比较有责任感的人安抚了自己的同事。十分钟之后，外人全部走了个精光。
又过了二十分钟，本·卡克斯顿来了。指挥那辆车的是个特勤部军官，哈肖在他的收据上签字盖章，打发他离开。吉尔一直趴在本的肩膀上啜泣。
朱巴尔上下打量他一番，“本，听说你醉了整整一个星期。”
本嘴里骂骂咧咧，手还继续拍着吉尔的背，“是醉了，没错——可一杯酒也没喝过。”
"what happened?"
“我不知道。我不知道！”
一个钟头之后，他们填满了本的胃；朱巴尔给他打了几针，抵消酒精和巴比土酸盐的作用。他泡过澡，刮了胡子，穿上了借来的衣服，结识了火星来客，然后一边消化牛奶和食物，一边听人大略讲述了事件的最新进展。
但他却无法告诉人家他自己那边的经历。对本而言，过去的一个星期根本不存在。他在华盛顿失去了意识，被人摇醒的时候已经身在墨西哥了。”当然，我知道发生了什么。他们麻醉了我，把我关在一间黑屋子里……然后把我榨得干干净净。可我什么也证明不了。我身边只有当地的村长和酒吧的侍女，肯定还有其他证人愿意发誓，说自己亲眼看见这个外国佬是怎么打发这段时间的。对于这种事儿，我什么都做不了。”
“那就什么也别做，”朱巴尔建议道，“放松，高兴点。”
“才怪！我非逮住那个——”
“啧，啧！本，你还活着……这已经大大出乎我的意料了。再说了，无论咱们说什么，道格拉斯都会一丝不苟地照做不误——并且做得欢天喜地。”
“我正想跟你谈谈这事儿。我认为——”
“我认为你该上床了。带上一杯热牛奶，好掩盖老哈肖为你这个秘密酒鬼配制的秘密解药的气味儿。”
本·卡克斯顿很快便鼾声如雷。朱巴尔向卧房走去，在楼上的大厅里遇上了安妮。他疲倦地摇摇头，“好长的一天哪，姑娘。”
“没错。我肯定不愿错过它，但也不想再来一次。去睡吧，老板。”
“等等，安妮，那孩子的吻到底有什么特别的？”
安妮露出两个酒窝，一脸如痴如醉的表情，“你真该自己试试。”
“我这把年纪变不成同性恋啦。但我对那孩子的一切都很好奇。他的吻跟别人的不一样吗？”
安妮沉吟半晌，“没错。”
“怎么不一样法？”
“迈克接吻的时候全神贯注。”
“噢，瞎扯！我自己也那样。或者说曾经那样。”
安妮摇摇头，“不。我跟有些技术挺棒的人接过吻，但他们都没有全神贯注。他们办不到。无论怎么努力，他们的一部分心思总会放在别的地方：会不会错过最后一班车，把这姑娘弄到手的机会有多少，担心他们自己接吻的技巧，或者担心工作、钱，或是会不会给老婆、老爸、邻居逮个正着之类的。迈克根本没有技巧可言……但当迈克吻你的时候，他不会做任何其他事情。你就是他的整个宇宙……那一刻就是永恒，因为他没有任何计划，脑子里什么都不想。只是吻你。”她哆嗦了一下，“那种感觉无法抵挡。”
“呣——”
“别对我呣啊呣的，你这老色鬼！你根本不明白。”
“是啊。遗憾哪，我是永远不会明白了。好吧，晚安。还有，顺便说一句……我告诉迈克让他把门插上了。”
她冲他做个鬼脸。“扫兴的家伙！”
“他学得够快的了，可不能操之过急。”
Notes:
Notes: