Chapter 25 Chapter 25 Mystery of Life Experience

Will and Christina and I stood at the rail overlooking the canyon.It was night now, and most of the Dauntless faction were soundly asleep.Both of my shoulders still hurt a little from the tattoos.We both got new tattoos half an hour ago. Tori was the only one in the tattoo shop, so I felt comfortable getting the symbol of The Unselfish — a pair of hands in the middle of the circle, palms up, as if to help someone stand.The pattern is written on the right shoulder.I knew it was a risky move, especially after all that had happened.But this symbol is part of my identity, and being able to have it tattooed on my body is very important to me.

I stepped on the outside of the railing with one foot, and my hips pressed against the railing to maintain my balance.Al was standing here.I looked down the canyon, at the dark water and jagged rocks.The water hit the stone wall and splashed up, and the mist wet my face.Was he ever scared when he was standing here?Or was he so determined to jump that it seemed so easy? Christina hands me a stack of papers.Over the past six months, I have collected a copy of every article that the Erudite has published attacking the Disinterested.Scattering them into the Grand Canyon is not a way to get rid of them completely, but at least it will make me feel better.

I stared at the first article, which had a picture of Jeanine, the representative of the Erudite School, and her piercing but alluring eyes stared back at me. "Have you seen her?" I asked Will.Christina crumpled up the first article and threw it hard into the water. "Jenning? I saw it once." He answered as he took the second article, tore it to shreds, and the scraps of paper floated into the rushing water.Unlike Christina, he did not act with resentment.I feel that by doing this with us, he only proves that he disapproves of the methods of the Erudites, and it is difficult to say whether he believes them or not.I dare not ask.

"Before she became the leader, she worked with my sister, and they wanted to develop a longer-lasting serum for situational simulations," he said. Like... a living computer that can talk and walk." "Then..." I threw a newspaper over the railing and pressed my lips together.I should have asked, "What do you think of what she said?" He shrugged. "Don't know. Maybe it's a good idea to have more than one faction running the government. It might be better if we could have more cars... fresh fruit, and... maybe." "You should know that the Selfless faction doesn't have a secret warehouse for these things, right?" I asked excitedly, my face flushing.

“Yes, I know,” he said. “I just feel that comfort and abundance are not priorities for the disinterested, but if other factions have a place in the decision-making process, then those might be.” "Because it's more important to have a car for a learned boy than to distribute life-saving food to a nonpartisan crowd, right?" I snapped. "Hey, that's enough." Christina brushed Will's shoulder lightly with her finger. "We were here to destroy these symbolic articles, not political debates!" I swallowed the words that had come to my lips and stared at the stack of newspapers in my hand.I've noticed that Will and Christina have been touching each other a lot lately.Could it be that they...?

"To be honest, what she said about your father made me hate her a little bit. I can't imagine that she would say such terrible things. What good is it?" I don't think it's hard to imagine.If Jeanine can convince everyone that my father and all the other altruistic leaders are corrupt and horrible, then whatever revolution she wants to start will have people's support, if she really plans it that way.But I didn't want to argue anymore, so I just nodded and threw the rest of the papers into the canyon.They floated back and forth like this until they fell into the water.Some may be blocked by the walls of the canyon and abandoned there.

"It's time to go to bed," Christina said with a smile. "Do you want to go back to the dormitory? I really want to put Pete's hands in a bowl of warm water and make him pee his pants tonight." When I turned to leave the canyon, I saw movement on the right side of the deep pit of the base. A figure climbed towards the ceiling of the glass building. Judging from the smooth way as if his feet hadn't left the ground at all, it must be the fourth child. "Good idea, but I have to talk to the fourth child about something." I pointed to the upward passage in the shadows, and her eyes followed the direction I pointed.

"Are you sure you want to run around alone at this late hour?" She asked with concern. "How could I be alone? I'm with my fourth child." I bit my lip. Christina looked at Will, and Will looked at her.No one was really listening to what I had to say. "Okay, see you later." Christina said indifferently. The two of them walked to the dormitory, she brushed his hair and he poked her ribs.For a moment, looking at them, I felt like I was witnessing the beginning of something, but I wasn't sure what it was. I trotted all the way to the right side of the pit at the base, and started to climb up.I walk as lightly as possible.Unlike Christina, it wasn't hard for me to lie.I'm not going to talk to Fourth, at least not until I figure out what he's doing in the glass building up there so late.

I ran quietly, and when I reached the stairs, I was almost out of breath.I stood at one end of the glass room, and my fourth child stood at the other end.Looking out through the window, at this moment, the city lights are brightly lit, but just as I concentrate on watching, the lights gradually go out.At midnight, presumably all the lights in the city are turned off. The fourth child walked across the room and stood in the doorway leading to the Fear Space, holding a black box in one hand and a syringe in the other. "Since you're here, why not come with me." He said without looking back.

I bit my lip and said, "Into your 'fear space'?" "right." As I walked towards him, I asked, "Can I do this?" "The serum will connect you to the program, and the program determines whose 'fear space' you enter, and now the program is connecting us to my 'fear space'." "Do you really want me to see it?" "Otherwise, why do you think I went in?" He asked softly without raising his eyes, "I want you to know something." He picked up the syringe, and I turned my head to expose my neck. When the needle went in, there was a heart-pounding pain, but I'm used to it now.When he was done, he handed me the black box containing another syringe.

"I've never done this before." I said as I took the syringe out of the box, not wanting to hurt him. "Put it here." He touched a place on his neck with his nails.I stood on tiptoe and pushed the needle in, my hands shaking.But he didn't even flinch. All the while, he was watching me.When I was done, he put both syringes in the black box and put it by the door.He'd known I'd come here with him--had known, or hoped so.Either way, it's fine for me. He reached out to me, and I slid my hand into his.His fingers were cold and stiff.I thought I should say something, but because I was so surprised, I couldn't think of what to say at all.He pushed open the door with his other hand, and I followed him through the darkness.Now I'm used to stepping into the unknown without hesitation.I tried my best to keep my breathing steady, and held on to the fourth brother's hand tightly. "See if you can figure out why they call me fourth," he said. The door clicked shut behind him, taking all the light away.The air in the hallway was bone-chilling, and I could feel every particle of air entering my lungs.I couldn't help but move closer to him, my arm against his arm, my chin against his shoulder. "What's your real name?" I asked. "It also depends on whether you can figure it out." We have entered the situational simulation of the fourth child.The concrete floor under his feet disappeared, and it creaked when he walked on it, as if he was stepping on metal.Light poured in from every angle, and the surrounding city gradually became clear, the glass towers, the arc of the train tracks all below us.I hadn't seen the blue sky in a long time, so when it spread over my head, it was difficult to breathe, followed by a bout of dizziness. Then, there was a strong wind, and the wind blew so hard that I had to lean on the fourth child to stand.He withdrew his hand and put his arm around my shoulders.At first, I thought it was protecting me - but it wasn't, he was having trouble breathing and had to lean against me to get his footing.He opened his mouth, inhaled and exhaled with great gulps, but his teeth were still clenched. Such a height is very useful and wonderful to me, but to him, it is the most terrifying nightmare. "We're going to jump, aren't we?" I yelled into the wind. He nodded. "Count to three, okay?" He nodded again. "One... two... three!" I grabbed him and ran quickly together.Once you take the first step, the rest is easy.We both rushed down the edge of the building, falling rapidly like two falling stones, the resistance of the air pushed us back, and the ground gradually approached.But then, all these scenes disappeared, and I knelt on the ground, put my hands on the ground, and grinned.I loved the drive the day I chose Dauntless, and I still do. Beside me, the fourth child was out of breath, holding his chest with one hand. I stood up and pulled him up too. "What's next?" "yes……" But before he could finish speaking, something hard hit me on the back, and I slammed into my fourth child, hitting my head on his collarbone.Two walls appeared to my left and right.The space was so small that the fourth child had to fold his arms across his chest to squeeze in.The ceiling slammed into the wall next to it with a click, and the fourth child arched his back and moaned in pain.This space is only big enough to hold his body, there is no room for more. "Claustrophobic chamber." I blurted out. There was some noise in his throat.I turned my head and leaned back as much as possible, trying to see him, but I couldn't see his face clearly, it was too dark and the air was stuffy.We can only breathe each other's breath.His expression was distorted, as if he was in pain. "Hey. It's okay. Come here..." I said. I pulled his arm around me, trying to give him a little more space.He held my back tightly and pressed his face against mine, still curled up.His body was warm, but I could only feel his bones, and the muscles surrounding the bones, without any strength.My face started to heat up, would he think my skeleton still looked like a child. "This is the first time I've been happy with being petite." I laughed.Maybe a joke would calm him down and distract me a bit. "Hmm..." His voice sounded tense. "We can't get out, but it should be easier to face the difficulties, right?" I certainly didn't expect him to reply. "So, what you have to do is make the space smaller. It's only as bad as it gets, right?" "Yes." In a simple word, he said it nervously and weakly. "Okay, let's squat down. Are you ready?" I grabbed his waist and pulled him to squat down with me.The ceiling was approaching inch by inch, and my hand touched the hard line of his ribs.Listening to the harsh sound of the planks pressing against each other, I realized that we could no longer fit in this small space, so I turned around and curled up into a ball, with my back against his chest.One knee was bent against my head, the other was curled up under me, and I sat on his ankle.The two of us were entangled with each other, and his heavy breathing was next to our ears. "Ah!" He said anxiously, "It's even worse, this time it's absolutely..." "Shh, hold me." He obediently put his arms around my waist.I smile at the wall.I'm not enjoying the situation right now.I haven't, not at all, not at all. "Simulations are just a test of how you react to fear," I said softly, just repeating what he said, but a reminder might help him, "So, as long as you can get your heart to calm down, we can move on to the next sim .Remember? So try to forget where we are." "Really?" His lips moved next to my ear when he spoke, and a sudden heat surged in my heart. "So easy?" "You know, many boys like to be trapped in small places with girls." I rolled my eyes. "Except for the claustrophobic, Tris." There was a hint of despair in his voice. "Okay, okay." I put my hand on his, and pulled it gently over my chest, where the heart is. "Come and feel my heartbeat, can you feel it?" "Ok." "Feel how smooth it is?" "But it jumps fast." "Yes, that...but it has nothing to do with the Chamber of Secrets." After I finished speaking, I couldn't help shrinking.I just admitted something, I hope he didn't get it. "When you feel me breathing, you breathe and give your full attention to that." "it is good." I took a deep breath, and his chest rose and fell.After doing this for a while, I calmly said, "Why don't you tell me where this fear comes from, maybe talking about it will help us... a little bit." I can't tell the exact reason, but it always sounds reasonable. "Um...okay." He started breathing again to my rhythm. "This...from... my weird childhood. Child punishment. The little wardrobe upstairs." I pursed my lips tightly, remembering the punishment I had received—being locked in my own room and not allowed to eat dinner, depriving me of this right and that right, and being severely reprimanded.Never locked in a closet though.It was such a cruel punishment, I couldn't help feeling sorry for him, I didn't know what to say, so I had to pretend I didn't care. "My mother puts our winter clothes in the closet." "I don't want to..." he gasped, "I really don't want to bring this up again." "Okay. Then... for me, you can just ask me." "Well," he smiled weakly in my ear, "then why is your heart beating so fast, Tris?" I trembled in my heart, and I hesitated to speak. "Well, I..." I wanted to find a reason that had nothing to do with him holding me in his arms. "I don't know you very well" - not good enough. "We don't know each other well, but I'm squeezed in such a small place with you. Fourth, what do you think?" "If we were in your 'fear space,'" he said slowly, "would I be in it?" "I'm not afraid of you." "Of course you're not afraid, but that's not what I mean." He laughed again.He smiled, and the surrounding walls cracked a crack and collapsed, leaving us in a circle of light.The fourth child sighed and took his arms away from me.I struggled to my feet, dusted myself, although I didn't feel any dust on my body; then wiped my hands on my jeans.Because of the sudden departure of the fourth child, I felt a little chill when I was next to his back. He was standing in front of me, grinning, and I wasn't sure if I liked the look in his eyes. "Maybe you'd be a good fit for the Honesty because you're such a good liar," he said. "In my personality test, the most definitive exclusion is honesty." He shook his head. "Personality tests don't tell you anything." I narrowed my eyes: "What are you trying to tell me? Isn't the test result the reason why you chose Dauntless in the end?" He wants to prove that he is a Divergent. Like me, we can find out the secret of the "Divergent". Pass. "Not quite, no," he stammered, "I..." He turned his head and his voice gradually decreased.A woman was standing a few meters away, pointing a gun at us.She didn't move at all, and she was a person with very ordinary features - if we left now, I might not remember what she looked like at all.But at this time, a table appeared on my right, with a gun and a bullet on it.Why didn't she shoot us? Ah, I see, the fear this time has nothing to do with the threat to his life, it must have something to do with the gun on the table. "You have to kill her." I said softly. "I don't want to be like that every time." "She's just an illusion, not a real person." "She looks real," he bit his lip, "feels real." "If she was real, she would have killed you long ago." "It's okay." He nodded, "I'll just...do it. This time it's not...not that bad. It's not that panicky." Less panic, but more fear.I could see it in his eyes.He picked up the gun and opened it, like he'd done it a thousand times—perhaps that many times.Pushing the bullet into the chamber, he held the gun in front of him with both hands, closed one eye, and took a slow breath. As he was exhaling, he fired. The woman's head jerked back, and a stream of red liquid sprayed out. I quickly turned my head to look elsewhere, and then heard her fall to the ground with a "plop". The fourth child's gun fell with a bang.We stare at her limp body.The fourth child is right, it does feel like the real thing.Don't be a fool.I grab his arm. "Come on, let's go, keep going," I said. I tugged him again, and then he slowly came back to his senses and followed me forward.But when we walked across the table, the woman's body suddenly disappeared, leaving only my memories with him.What would it be like if you had to kill someone every time you passed through the "Fear Zone"?Maybe later, I'll find out. But something confuses me.These should be the things that the fourth child fears the most. In the secret room and on the rooftop, he panicked, but it was not difficult to kill the woman.It seemed the simulation was trying to grab all the fear it could find in him, but it didn't find much. "Let's go," he whispered. A dark figure moved in front of us, slowly approaching the outer edge of the aperture, waiting for us to take the next step forward.Who is he?And who frequently appeared in the fourth child's nightmare? The man who emerged was tall and thin, with hair cut close to his scalp, his hands behind his back, and wearing a gray robe of the Selfless School. "Marcus," I whispered. "This is the paragraph, here you can come up with my real name." The voice of the fourth child was trembling. "He's..." I looked at Marcus, he was slowly approaching us, and at the fourth child, he was retreating bit by bit, and all the clues were connected.Marcus has a son who has chosen Dauntless, and his name is... "Tobias". Marcus shows us his hands, a leather strap wrapped around his fist, and he slowly releases the strap with his fingers. "It's for your own good, for your good, for your good..." His voice echoed many times. Multiple Marcuses split off and approached the aperture, all holding the same belt, all expressionless.When Marcus blinked again, his eyes became empty black holes.The floor was now a white tiled floor on which the belt was slowly dragging.I had a jolt.The Erudite had accused Marcus of being cruel, and it seemed that the Erudite was right this time. I looked at the fourth - Tobias - and he seemed to be frozen in place, motionless, slack.One moment he looked older, and the next moment he looked younger.The first Marcus flung his arms back, the belt over his shoulders, and he was ready to strike.Tobias kept stepping back, raising his arms to shield his face. I rushed in front of him, the belt tangling around my wrist and tangling around my hand, a searing pain running from my forearm to my elbow.Gritting my teeth, I pulled back as hard as I could, and Marcus' grip on the belt let go.I was able to undo the belt and grab the buckle. I swung my arms as fast as I could, and there was a searing pain in the socket of my shoulder from the sudden force, and the belt snapped around Marcus' shoulder.Howling, he stretched out his hand toward me, the nails like a crow's claws.Tobias pushed me behind him, between me and Marcus.He looked angry, but not a trace of fear. Suddenly, all of Marcus was gone, and the lights came back on, revealing a long, narrow space with crumbling brick walls and concrete floors. "Is that all?" I said. "That's your deepest fear? Why do you only have four..." My voice trailed off.There are only four fears. "Ah," I looked back at him, "that's why they called you—" When I saw his expression, I didn't say anything later.Eyes wide open, lips parted, he looked vulnerable in the light.If it wasn't for this place, I'd describe that look as one of awe.But I don't understand why he looks at me in awe. He gently grabbed my elbow, his thumb pressed against the soft skin of my forearm, and pulled me hard towards him.The skin on my wrist still tingled a bit, as if it had been pulled by a real belt, but it was as pale as the rest and not inflamed.His lips moved slowly on my cheeks, then his arms wrapped tightly around my shoulders, and he buried his face on my neck, his warm breath blowing on my collarbone. I froze for a moment, wrapping my arms lightly around him, and sighed. "Hey," I said softly, "we're done." He raised his head and gently brushed my hair behind my ears.We stared into each other's eyes in silence.He fingered a lock of my hair absently. "You helped me through," he finally said. "Well," I felt my throat dry, trying to ignore the tense tingling sensation as much as possible. Every time he touched me, it was like an electric current flowed through my whole body in an instant, "I'm not facing my fear, of course It's easier to be brave." I put my hand down and wiped my jeans carelessly, hoping he didn't notice. Even if he saw it, he didn't say anything, just took my hand, and his fingers intertwined with mine. "Come on," he said, "I have something else to tell you."