Chapter 23 Chapter 23 Show Weakness

That night, I didn't go back to the dormitory.It would be foolish to be in the same room with your attacker just to show bravery.Fourth sleeps on the floor and I sleep in his bed, lying on his sheets, breathing the smell of his pillowcase.This smell is very special, it smells like a cleanser, and it also has a thick, sweet smell that is unique to men. His breathing gradually slowed down, and I lifted myself up to see if he was asleep.He was lying on the ground with his face sideways, his head in one hand, his eyes closed, and his lips slightly parted.For the first time, he looked as young as his age, and I was curious to see what he was like.What was he like when he wasn't Dauntless, not a mentor, not even a fourth child, nothing special?

Whoever he is, I like him.In the dark, after what I've just been through, it's easy for me to admit it.He is not gentle, kind, and not particularly kind, but he is brave enough, smart enough, and respects me enough. Even after saving me, he still makes me feel strong. I just need to know these things. Watching the muscles on his back rise and fall with his even breathing, I also fell into a deep sleep. In the morning, I woke up with pain all over my body, and I flinched when I sat up.I pressed my ribs and walked over to the mirror hanging on the opposite wall.I was so short that I could hardly look in the mirror. I could only barely see my face when I stood on my tiptoes. Sure enough, there was a big bruise on my face.To be honest, I really didn't want to walk into the restaurant like this, but the warning from the fourth child was deeply imprinted in my heart.So, I had to mend my friendship with them, and I needed the sympathy and protection that came with showing weakness.

I grabbed my hair back and tied it into a bun.The door opened and Fourth came in, a towel in his hand, hair shiny from the shower.He raised his hand to wipe his hair with a towel, I looked at the lines of skin exposed above his belt, my heart throbbed, but I still forced myself to look up at his face. "Hi," I said.It sounded so stiff, I wish it wasn't. He gently touched my bruised face with his fingertips. "Looks all right," he said. "How's your head?" "It's okay." That's a lie—the head is still throbbing.I gently touched the lump on my head with my fingers, and my scalp tingled immediately.That's not too bad, I could have turned into a floating corpse in the Grand Canyon.

His hand landed on the spot on my side where I was kicked, and all the muscles in my body tensed up.He did all this so naturally, but I couldn't move. "What about the side?" He asked me, his voice very low. "It hurts to breathe." He smiled and said, "That can't be helped." "If I died, Pete would definitely throw a celebration party or something." "Well," he quipped, "I'm not going without cake." I burst out laughing, then flinched in pain, and held his hand to keep my chest from shaking too much.His hand slowly withdraws again, fingertips brushing against my ribs.The moment he lifted his fingertips away, there was a pain in his chest.As soon as the moment was over, I had to remember what had happened last night.I want to be here, with him.

He nodded slightly and led me out. "I'll go in first," he said as we stood in the doorway of the restaurant. "See you, Triss." He walked in and I stood there alone.He told me yesterday that I should show weakness, but he was dead wrong.I'm vulnerable already, I don't need to pretend.I was leaning against the wall, my forehead resting on my hands, and the pain made it hard to take a deep breath.I gasped for breath.How can this happen?They attacked me just to make me feel weak, and I could of course pretend they had succeeded in order to protect myself.But I can't really make myself weak.

I straightened up from the wall and walked into the dining room without thinking twice.After walking a few steps, I realized that I should pretend to be cowering, so I quickly slowed down, lowered my head, and supported the wall.Uriah, who was sitting at the table next to Will and Christina, saw me, raised her hand and waved at me a few times, then put her hand down again. I sat down next to Will. Al wasn't there, he wasn't anywhere. Uriah slipped over and sat down next to me on the table where he had half-eaten muffins and a half-drunk glass of water.For a moment, the three of them were silent, just staring at me.

"What happened?" Will asked quietly. I looked back at the table behind us.Pete sat there, muttering to Molly, eating his slice of toast.I gripped the corner of the table tightly, suppressing the resentment in my heart.I really want to teach him a lesson, but the time has not come yet. Drew was nowhere to be seen, which meant he was still in the infirmary, and the thought of it gave me an unholy pleasure. "Pete, Drew..." I whispered, leaning on my side as I reached across the table to get my toast.As soon as I reached out, the pain returned, so I allowed myself to exaggerate the pain as much as I could—squeezed and arched my back. "And..." I swallowed, "and Al."

"Oh my God." Christina's eyes widened. "Are you okay?" Uriah asked. Pete's eyes met mine across the dining room, and I forced myself to look away.It gave Pete a bitter taste in my mouth to see me startled by him, but I had to.Four is right, I'm going to do my best to make sure they don't rape me again. "Not so good," I said. My eyes are hot, it's not fake, it's not like cringing from the pain just now.I shrugged.Now I believe Tori's warning.Out of jealousy, Pete, Drew, and Al are about to throw me into the Grand Canyon—what's so weird about the leader of the Dauntless faction committing murder?

I felt uncomfortable all over, as if I was wearing someone else's skin.But if I'm not careful, I won't survive.One wrong step, and there may be an abyss ahead.I can't even trust the leaders of the Dauntless - they're my new family. "But you only have..." Uriah pouted, "Three against one? It's so unfair." "What's Pete talking about 'fairness'? That's why he caught Edward while he was sleeping and stuck a fork in his eye." Christina snorted and shook her head, "But, Ai Er? Are you sure it's him, Triss?" I stare at the plate.I'm the next Edward, Pete's next thorn in the side.But the difference is that I'm not ready to give up easily.

"That's right," I said, "I'm 100 percent sure." "He must be desperate." Will said, "His recent whereabouts are a bit... How should I put it, since the second test, he seems to have changed." At this moment, Drew limped into the restaurant.I opened my mouth wide in amazement, and the toast fell out. "Swollen nose and swollen face" is far from enough to describe him, his face is bruised and swollen, his lips are torn, and his eyebrows are slanted.He lowered his head, lowered his eyes, and walked directly to the dining table without even looking at me.I looked at the fourth child across the restaurant. He was smiling with satisfaction. I wish I could do the same.

"Did you do it?" Will hissed. I shook my head and said, "No. Someone...I don't see who it is—he got there in time, otherwise..." I choked up, thinking that if I said this, the situation might look worse and worse. True, "...or I'd be thrown into the Grand Canyon." "Are they going to kill you?" Christina asked in a low voice. "Maybe, but maybe it's just hanging me there to frighten me." I lifted one shoulder. "It worked." Christina gave me a sad look, and Will just stared at the table. "We have to do something," Uriah whispered. "What, like going to beat them up?" Christina grinned, "It looks like someone has already done it for you." "No, that pain will pass," Ulea said. "We have to work together to push them out of the rankings and destroy their prospects. It's permanent." The fourth child suddenly stood up and stood between the two rows of tables, the chattering stopped. "All transfer freshmen, today we are going to do something different." He said, "Come with me." We stood up and Uriah frowned and said to me, "Be careful." "Don't worry," Will said, "we'll protect her." The fourth child took us out of the restaurant and walked along the path around the deep pit of the base.Will is walking on my left and Christina is on my right. "I never apologized to you," Christina whispered. "It was for capturing the flag with you. That was your credit. I don't know what happened to me." I'm not sure if it's wise to forgive her--forgive each of them, since they've all given me a wide berth after yesterday's rankings.But my mother once told me that everyone has shortcomings, and I should be magnanimous, and my fourth child also told me to rely on my friends. However, I don't know who to rely on more, because I'm not sure who is my real friend.Is it Uriah and Marlene, who stood by me when I looked strong, or Will and Christina, who protected me when I was weak? When her brown eyes met mine, I nodded. "Don't talk about it anymore." I still want to be angry, but I have to let the anger go.We climbed all the way up, to heights never reached before, and when Will looked down, his face suddenly turned pale. Most of the time, I'm a sucker for heights.So I grab Will's arm like I need his support - actually, I'm lending him my arm for support.Will smiled at me gratefully. The fourth child turned around and took a few steps back on a narrow path without railings.How familiar is he with this place? He stared at Drew, who was struggling to walk at the end of the line: "Quicken your pace, Drew." This is a bit cruel, but I still can't help laughing.Until the eyes of the fourth child fell on me holding Will's arm, all the funnyness disappeared at once.Is he... jealous? We got closer and closer to the ceiling of the glass building, and for the first time in days, I saw the sun.There was a hole in the ceiling, and a metal ladder led to the hole, and the fourth child climbed up.We followed suit.The ladder creaked under my feet, and I looked down at the base pit and the Grand Canyon, all in one view. We walked over the glass—now it was no longer the ceiling, but the floor beneath our feet—through cylindrical rooms surrounded by glass walls.Looking outside, the surrounding buildings are half-collapsed and look abandoned, no wonder I never noticed that the Dauntless faction base is here before.Of course, the fact that the Selfless faction lived far away from here was also a reason. In the glass room, the fearless wandered around, gathering in twos and threes.On one side of the room, two Dreadnoughts were fighting with sticks, and when one of them missed and missed, the two laughed.Overhead, two ropes spanned the room, one a meter or two higher than the other.They probably have something to do with the famous "thrilling stunts" of the Dauntless. The fourth child led us through another door.Behind the door is a large dank space with graffiti all over the walls and exposed pipes.The room was lit with some old fashioned fluorescent tubes with plastic shades that looked like they had seen better days. "This," the fourth child's eyes sparkled under the fluorescent light, "is another simulation of a situation called 'fear space'. For our training purposes, this place will be changed. Next time you come, it may be It's not like this anymore." Behind him, three red words Art: Audacity have been spray-painted on the concrete wall. "Through the simulations, we store data about your deepest fears. 'Fear Space' takes this data and presents it to you as a series of virtual obstacles. Some obstacles you have encountered in previous simulations Yes, and some may be new. One difference to note is that in 'Fear Space' everything is a simulation of reality, so use all your wits as you go through the process. " That said, in the Fear Space, everyone is like a Divergent.I don't know whether to be happy or sad. The happy thing is that no one will find out my identity, but the worrying thing is that once this happens, I will have no advantage to speak of. The fourth child continued: "The number of fears you face in the 'Fear Space' is set according to your fears." How many fears will I face?Even though the surroundings are warm and warm, I still shiver when I think of the crows thumping all over the sky. “As I said, the third test is about mental preparation.” I remember when he said that, it was on the first day, just before he put the gun to Pete’s head.Wish he had pulled the trigger then. "Because it requires you to control your emotions and your body at the same time - combine the physical fitness you learned in the first level and the emotional control you learned in the second level. Remember, keep your head calm." A fluorescent tube above the old four's head suddenly rushed Flashing, he stopped scanning the freshmen and his eyes fell on me. "Next week, the leadership team of the Fearless faction will visit the scene in person, and then you will have to pass through the 'Fear Space' as quickly as possible. That will be your final test, which will determine your ranking in the third level. It is like the second level of the freshman test The proportion of the third level is higher than that of the first level, and the proportion of the third level is the highest among the three levels. Do you understand?" We all nodded.Even Drew nodded, though it pained him a bit. The third hurdle is where success or failure is at stake.If I perform well, I have a chance to reach the goal of being in the top ten, and I have a chance to become a full-fledged member and become a real fearless person.Thinking of this, I was so happy that I was dizzy and relieved. "You can navigate through these obstacles in one of two ways: either try to stay calm, and the simulation registers a normal, steady heartbeat, or find a way to confront your fears, which can prompt the situational simulation to move forward. For example One way to face the fear of drowning is to swim deeper." The fourth child shrugged, "So I suggest that everyone use the next week to think about what fears they have, and plan countermeasures in advance." "That doesn't sound fair," Pete exclaimed. "What if one person has only seven fears and someone else has twenty? It's not their fault." The fourth child stared at him for a long time, then suddenly burst into laughter: "Do you really want to talk to me about fairness?" The fourth brother crossed his arms and walked towards Pete, and everyone automatically made a way for him.He said in a savage tone: "I understand why you're upset, Pete. Last night's events make it clear that you're a poor coward." Pete met the eyes of the fourth child with a blank expression on his face. "Now we all know," said the fourth child softly, "Why are you so guilty. You are afraid of a small and selfless girl." He smiled with a slight upturned corner of his mouth. Will put his arm around my shoulders, and Christina's shoulders were shaking from trying not to laugh.And somewhere in my heart, I was smiling too. When we got back to the dorm that afternoon, Al was in there. Will stood behind me, gently holding my shoulders, as if reminding me of his presence, Christina also leaned towards me. Al was dark under his eyes, and his face was swollen from crying.Seeing him, my heart ached and I couldn't move.The once pleasant smell of lemongrass and sage now smells different. "Tracey," his voice broke, "can I talk to you?" "You're kidding!" Will grabbed my shoulders, "Don't even get close to her." "I won't hurt you, I never thought..." Al covered his face with his hands, "I just want to say I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I don't... I don't know what's wrong with me, I... Please forgive me, Please……" He reached out to me, as if trying to grab my shoulder or hand, tears all over his face. Somewhere inside of me lives a compassionate, tolerant person.It was a girl who tried her best to understand what happened to others. She accepted that people would do evil things, and knew that despair could lead people to a darker abyss than they imagined.I swear she really exists in my heart, and her heart aches for this deeply repentant boy right in front of me. But even if I saw her, I couldn't recognize her anymore. "Stay away from me." I said softly.My body was stiff and cold, I wasn't angry, I wasn't hurt, I didn't feel anything, I just said in a low voice, "Never come near me." Our eyes met, his with a sad, glazed look, and mine expressionless. "If you dare to take half a step towards me, I swear I will kill you, you coward."