Chapter 18 Chapter 18 Situation Simulation

As far as I can tell, the second part of the test is sitting in a dark hallway with the other freshmen and guessing what's going on behind closed doors. Uriah sat across from me, Marlene on his left, and Lynn on his right.In the first pass, the new students and the transfer students of the faction were trained separately, but from now on, they have to be trained together.This is what the fourth child said, and after he finished speaking, he disappeared behind the closed door. "So," said Lynn, rubbing her shoe against the ground, "who of you came first, huh?" There was silence in the hallway as soon as her question came out, and then Pete suddenly cleared his throat.

"I." "I bet I can beat you," she said casually, twirling her metal brow ring with her fingers, "I'm second, but I bet any of us could easily beat you, Piece. " I almost laughed out loud.If I was still in the selfless faction, I would definitely find her words rude and inappropriate, but among the fearless, such provocations are common.I'm starting to look forward to their matchup. "If I were you, I wouldn't be so sure." Pete's eyes sparkled, "Who's number one?" "Ulea." She looked at Pete with disdain, "Do you know how many years we have been preparing for this?"

If she was trying to scare us, she's done it.I already feel chills all over. Pete was about to retort when the door suddenly creaked open. "Lynne." The fourth child nodded to her, and she walked down the aisle.The blue light at the end of the aisle shone brightly on her bald head. "So you're number one?" Will said to Uriah. Ulea shrugged: "Exactly. How?" "Don't you think it's a little unfair? You've been preparing for this since birth, and we've only learned it all in just a few weeks." Will narrowed his eyes, and there was a bit of sourness in his words.

"Not necessarily. We do have an advantage in the first test of skills, but no one can prepare for the second test." Ulea said, "At least, that's what others say." No one responded.No one said a word and sat in silence for twenty minutes.I looked at my watch and the minutes ticked by.The door suddenly opened again, and the fourth child called another name. "Pete." Time rubs against me like sandpaper, every minute is suffering.Gradually, the number dwindled, and now it was just me, Uriah, and Drew.The two of them were visibly impatient with the wait, Drew's feet were moving, Uriah was tapping her fingers on her knees, and I was sitting pretending to be calm.The only sound in the room at the end of the passage was murmuring, and I suspected it was another trick they liked to play with us, taking every opportunity to frighten us.

The door opened, and the fourth child nodded at me: "Come on, Triss." I stood up, my back hurt from sitting against the wall for so long.As I walked past the other two freshmen, Drew stretched out his leg to trip me up, and I hopped almost on his leg. The fourth child supported me by the shoulders, led me into the room, and closed the door behind me. When I saw what was in the room, I subconsciously shrank back, and my shoulder touched the fourth child's chest. There was a metal recliner in the room, much like the one I sat on during the personality test.The machine next to it is also familiar.The difference is that there are no mirrors around the room and almost no lights.A computer monitor sits on a table in the corner.

"Sit down." The fourth child grabbed my arm and pushed me forward. "What's the simulation today?" I tried to keep my voice from shaking, but it didn't work. "Have you ever heard the phrase 'face your fears'?" he said. "Literally, this simulation is about teaching you how to control your emotions in a fearful environment." I raised my trembling hand to my forehead.The situational simulation is not real and will not pose a real threat to people, so logically speaking, there is no need to be afraid, but I am afraid from the bottom of my heart.It took all my strength to force myself to go to the chair and sit on it again, resting my head on the headrest.The metallic chill penetrated my clothes.

"Have you ever been a personality tester?" I think he qualifies. "No, I try to avoid zombies as much as possible." I don't understand why some people want to avoid altruism.If it's understandable to avoid the Dauntless or the Honest, it's probably because courage and honesty make them act weird and do weird things, but what about the Unselfish? "why?" "Are you asking that because you think I'm really going to answer?" "If you don't want people to ask, why are you so vague?" His fingers touched my neck lightly, and my whole body tensed up instantly.Is this a gentle touch?No—what was I thinking, he just brushed my hair out of the way.He flicked something, and I looked up to see what was going on, and I saw him holding a syringe with a long needle in one hand, with his thumb resting on the plunger.The fluid in the syringe is orange.

"Do you want an injection?" My mouth felt a little dry.I am not afraid of injections on weekdays, but this needle is too big. "The situational simulation here is done in a more advanced way, with a special serum that doesn't require wires or pads attached to your body," he said. "How does it work without wires?" "Well, I have wires attached to me so I can see what you're doing. As for you, there's a tiny transmitter in the serum that sends a signal to the computer." He turned my arm back and slowly pushed the needle into the softness of the skin on the side of my neck.A piercing pain spread from the throat.I flinched, trying to focus on his calm face.

"After sixty seconds, the serum kicks in. This situational simulation is different than a personality test," he said. "The serum not only contains transmitters, it also stimulates the amygdala — the part of the brain that processes negative emotions, such as fear." —and then induce hallucinations. Brain activity will be transmitted to our computer. The computer will convert your hallucinations into a simulated image that I can see and monitor. Then I will send the recording to the upper echelons of the Dauntless. Before you calm down, You're hallucinating all the time—calm is about lowering your heart rate and controlling your breathing."

I tried to keep up with what he was saying, but my thoughts were muddled.I felt the symptoms of fear—sweaty palms, racing heart, constricting chest, dry mouth, choked throat, difficulty breathing.He put his hands on the sides of my head and bent down towards me. "Be brave, Tris," he whispered, "The beginning is always the hardest." The last thing I can remember are his eyes. I stood on waist-high grass, the air was filled with the pungent smell of burning smoke, and above me, the sky was the color of bile. The sight made people feel anxious and flustered, and the body couldn't help but want to escape.

At this time, I heard the sound of flapping, like the wind turning the pages of a book. The strange thing is that there is no wind around.The air was still, soundless—just a constant flapping sound, neither hot nor cold, not like air at all, but I could breathe.A dark figure swooped down on top of my head. Something fell on my shoulder.I felt its weight and sharp claws, and tried to swing my arm to shake it off, and at the same time I punched it, only to find something smooth and fragile.It's feathers.I bit my lip and looked to the side. A black bird the size of my forearm was turning its head and staring at me with one round eye. It was a crow. I gritted my teeth and waved again to hit the crow. Its sharp claws grabbed my shoulder tightly without moving.I yelled loudly, frustrated more than in pain, and patted it with both hands, but it didn't move at all. One eye was looking at me, and its feathers were slightly yellow.Just when I was about to be completely desperate, there was rumbling thunder in my ears, and I heard the raindrops falling on the ground, but I didn't see a single raindrop falling. The sky suddenly darkened, like dark clouds covering the sun.I looked up while dodging the crows.A group of black crows rushed towards me like a storm, like a large army. They stretched out their sharp claws and opened their sharp beaks. Each one was screaming, and the air was full of noise.The crows gathered in groups and swooped down together, hundreds of thousands of round black eyes shining. I wanted to run away, but my legs seemed to be planted on the ground, and I couldn't move, just like the crow on my shoulder that was "holding on".Crows surrounded me, flapping their feathers in my ears, pecking at my shoulders with their sharp beaks, and tearing at my clothes with their claws.I screamed, and I screamed until tears welled up in my eyes, my arms flailing wildly.I hit them with both hands, but with little success, because there were too many crows and I was alone.They clamped my fingers tightly with their mouths, bumped against my body, slapped the back of my neck with their wings, and pulled my hair with their sharp claws. I writhed and fell hard to the ground, wrapping my arms around my head.They yelled at me, and suddenly something writhed in the grass, and a crow got under my arm.I opened my eyes to find it was pecking my face hard, attacking my nose with its mouth.Blood was dripping on the grass, and I was sobbing and beating it with my hand, but at that moment another crow got under my other arm and grabbed the shirt on the front of my shirt with its claws. I screamed and cried. "Help!" I cried, "Help me!" They flapped harder, growling in my ears.My body was hot and hot, and they were all over the place, and I couldn't think or breathe.I gasped for breath, but the feathers got into my mouth, throat, and lungs with the breath, and even the blood was replaced by the heavy feathers. "Help!" I sobbed and shouted, irrational and illogical.I'm dying, I'm dying. My skin was scorched and bleeding and the crow was so loud it started ringing in my ears.But I'm not dead, I remember it wasn't real, it just felt real, so real.Be brave.The voice of the fourth child screamed in my memory.I yelled at him, inhaling feathers and exhaling "Help!" But no one came to help me, and I was still alone. "Until you calm down, you will always be hallucinating." The voice of the fourth child continued to echo, and I coughed, with tears all over my face.Another crow squirmed under my arm and touched mine with its sharp, hard beak.The crow's mouth squeezed between my lips, scraping my teeth wantonly.Since it put its whole head into my mouth, I bit it hard, tasted a stench, spit out the things in my mouth quickly, and clenched my teeth as a barrier.But the fourth crow tugged at my feet, and the fifth crow pecked at my ribs. clam down.But I can't, I can't, I have a splitting headache. breathe.I closed my mouth tightly and inhaled through my nose.How many hours must have passed, and even days and nights, since I came to this meadow alone!I exhaled through my nose.My heart was pounding violently in my chest and I had to slow it down.Breathe again, face already wet with tears. Feeling bewildered and helpless, I sobbed again, forcing myself to move forward and let my body stretch out on the grass.The grass stings my skin.I spread my arms and breathe.The crows pushed against my sides and squirmed beneath me.Let them be.Letting them continue flapping their wings, screaming, pecking, and poking, I slowly relaxed my muscles, making myself submissive like a pecked corpse. Pain overwhelmed me. When I opened my eyes, I found myself sitting on a metal chair. I screamed and slapped my arms, head and legs to drive the crows away, but they were all gone, though I could still feel the feathers scratching the nape of my neck, the claws on my shoulders, the skin burning pain.I moaned, curled my knees into my chest, and buried my face in it. Suddenly a hand tapped my shoulder, and I punched out, hitting something solid but soft. "Don't touch me!" I whimpered. "It's all over." The fourth child said, stroking my hair clumsily.I remember my father stroking my hair every night when he kissed me goodnight, and my mother touching it softly as she cut my hair with scissors.I ran my hand down my arm, trying to get rid of the dirty black feathers, even though I knew there were no feathers. "Tracey." I rocked back and forth on the metal chair. "Come on, Triss, I'll take you to the dormitory, okay?" "No!" I snapped, looking up and glaring at him, though my eyes were blurred with tears. "They can't see me...I can't let them see me like this." "Calm down." He rolled his eyes, "Then I'll take you out through the back door." "I don't need you..." I shook my head.But I was shaking all over, and I felt so weak that I didn't know if I could stand up, but I had to try.I can't be the only one who needs to be escorted back to the dorm.Even if they didn't see me, they'd find out, gossip about— "Stop talking nonsense." He grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the chair.I blinked away the tears in my eyes, wiped my face with my wrist behind my back, and let him help me to the door behind the computer screen. We both walked down the aisle in silence.When I was a few hundred meters away from the simulation room, I withdrew my hand and stopped. "Why are you doing this to me?" I yelled. "What's your intention, huh? I didn't even realize when I chose Dauntless, I was giving myself weeks of torture." "Do you think it's easy to overcome cowardice?" His voice was always as calm as water. "That's not overcoming cowardice! Cowardice is how you make decisions in real life, and in reality, I'm not going to get pecked to death by crows." I covered my face in my hands and cried. He didn't say anything, just stood there silently watching me cry.I just cried for a while and was fine. I wiped the tears off my face and said softly, "I want to go home." But going home was no longer an option for me, my choice was here or the non-partisan ghetto. He looked at me with no sympathy in his eyes, just looked at me.In the dimly lit hallway, his eyes looked dark and deep, and his lips were drawn into a line. "Learn to think in fear. This is a lesson for everyone in the world, including your zombie family. This is what we want to teach you. If you can't even learn this, you will go out sooner or later, Because we won't want you." The fourth child said slowly. "I tried my best," my lower lip quivered slightly, "but I didn't. I'm a total failure." He sighed: "Triss, how long do you think you have been in the hallucination?" "I don't know." I shook my head, "Half an hour?" "Three minutes," he replied. "You came out of the hallucination three times faster than other freshmen, who usually took nine minutes. You did it in three minutes. Whatever you are, it's certainly not a failure." By." three minutes?how is this possible? He smiled slightly: "You will do better tomorrow. Just watch." "tomorrow?" He supported my back and led me towards the dormitory.I can feel his fingertips through the shirt.For a moment, that gentle touch made me forget about the crows. "What was your first hallucination?" I looked up at him. "My first hallucination wasn't 'what', but 'who'." He shrugged, "but that doesn't matter." "And, have you overcome that fear now?" "Not yet." We walked to the door of the dormitory, and he leaned against the wall, slipped his hands into his pockets, and said softly, "Probably never." "So they've been torturing you?" "Sometimes they linger, but sometimes new fears take their place," he said, hooking his thumb into his belt buckle. "But being fearless is not the goal, and that's impossible. Learn How to control fear, how to break free from the shackles of fear, this is the point." I nod.I always thought Dauntless was nothing to be afraid of.Anyway, at least they look like that.But maybe the fearlessness I see is really just the result of controlling fear. "However, the things you fear are rarely the kind that come up in the simulation," he said. "What's the meaning?" "Well, are you really afraid of crows?" He looked at me with a half-smile.That expression made his eyes glow with infinite warmth, making me forget that he is my mentor.He was just a big boy, a big boy who chatted casually and accompanied me back to the dormitory. "When you see a crow, do you run away screaming?" "No, I guess not." I wanted to get closer to him, for no reason other than to see what it was like to be close to him; just because I wanted to. Don't be so stupid, a voice floated in my mind. I moved closer, also standing against the wall, looking at him with my head tilted to one side.Like on the Ferris wheel, I knew exactly thirteen centimeters were between us.I wobbled that way.It's less than thirteen centimeters now.I felt warm, as if he was releasing some kind of energy, and I could only feel it if I was close enough to him like I am now. "So what am I really afraid of?" I asked. "I don't know," he replied, "Only you know." I nodded slowly.Many things are possible, but I'm not sure which one is the most frightening thing for me, or if there is even one thing that scares me the most. "I didn't expect to go through so many hardships to become a fearless person." But a second later, I was surprised how I said it, and I was even more surprised that I admitted it.I bit my cheek lightly, carefully observing the expression of the fourth child.Would it be a mistake to tell him this? "I've been told it wasn't always like this." He lifted one shoulder slightly.My confession didn't seem to offend him. "I mean, the process of becoming Dauntless." "What changed?" "The one in power," he replied, "is the one who controls the training methods. He sets the rules for how the Dauntless should behave. Six years ago, Max and the other leaders revised the training methods to make them more competitive and brutal. , saying that it hopes to better test the strength of the new students. In general, it has changed the priorities of the Dauntless faction, and the original creed of the Dauntless faction has also been completely subverted. I bet you can't guess the new successor of the power who is it." The answer is obvious: Eric.They trained him to be like a demon, and now he's training us to be like that. I looked at the fourth and their training didn't work for him. "If you were number one in your freshman class, where would Eric be?" I asked. "second." "So Eric is the leader's second choice," I nodded slowly, "and you are the first choice." "how do I say this?" "Do you remember meeting Eric at the restaurant that first night? Even though he got what he wanted, he was still full of jealousy." The fourth child did not refute.I must be right.In fact, I was tempted to ask why he didn't accept the position offered to him by the chief, he seemed like a born leader.But I know how the fourth child feels about personal matters. I sniffed, wiped my face again, and smoothed my hair. "Do I look like I've been crying?" "Hmm." He leaned close to my face, squinting his eyes slightly, as if he was examining my face.Suddenly, the corners of his mouth rose slightly, revealing a hint of a smile.He moved closer, breathing the same air I do, if I remember to breathe. "No, Tris," he said, replacing the smile with a serious expression, and added, "You look tough."