Chapter 16 Chapter Sixteen

That afternoon, when everyone was having fun with their families, I didn't indulge in the "joy" and walked back to the dormitory, only to find Al sitting on his bed, staring blankly at the place where the "blackboard" used to be.The fourth child moved it away yesterday, saying that he wanted to count the rankings of everyone in the first round. "So you're here!" I yelled, "Your parents are looking for you everywhere, have they seen you?" He shook his head. I sat down beside him.Although my legs are much more muscular than they used to be, they are still not half as thick as his.He was wearing a pair of black shorts, with blue-purple bruises on his knees and a scar on his forehead.

"Don't you want to see them?" I asked. "It's not that I don't want to. When they see me, they will definitely ask me how I have been doing recently." He said helplessly, "I don't want to tell them the truth, but they can easily see through lies." "This..." I searched my stomach, hoping to say something, "Then how are you doing?" Al laughed, and his voice was harsh: "Except for beating Will, I lost all subsequent games, and my performance was not good at all." "You just lost to them on purpose, can't you tell them that?"

He shook his head again and sighed, "My dad always wanted me to come here. I mean, they say I should vote for the Honest, but that's only because they should. They've always envied the life of the Dauntless , both of them. Even if I explain to them, they won't understand." "Oh." My fingers tapped my knees subconsciously, and I looked at him. "Is that why you chose Dauntless? You did it for your parents?" Al shook his head again. "No, I guess at the time it was thought that... keeping people safe was important. Standing up for people like you did for me..." He smiled at me and added, "That's what That's what the Dauntless are supposed to do, right? That's real courage, not... hurting people for no reason."

I remembered what the fourth child said on the Ferris wheel. The Dauntless once put "teamwork" in an important position.What was Dauntless like back then?If the Dauntless were around my mother's time, what can we learn?Maybe I won't break Molly's nose and scare Will's sister. Thinking of this, a sense of guilt surged in my heart, and this feeling extended to every inch of skin on my body. "Maybe it'll be better by the end of the Freshman Ordeal." "It's too bad, I'm probably the last one, I'll probably know tonight." Al said helplessly.

We sat side by side for a while longer.Sitting here, quietly, is far better than watching other people laughing and reuniting in the deep pit of the base. My father used to say: "Listening is a blessing, and sometimes the best way to help others is to be by his side." I feel very happy and at ease when I can do something that my father is proud of, as if it can be good for me. Make up for everything he doesn't like. "You know, I feel braver with you," he said, "like I can fit in here, just like you." I was about to pick up what he said, when he suddenly raised his hand and put his arms around my shoulders, I froze for a moment, my face was probably as red as an apple.

I hope the way Al feels about me isn't real, but apparently I'm right. Instead of resting my head on his shoulder, I sat forward and clasped my hands between my knees.His arms slipped down and he rubbed his hands together in embarrassment on his pants. "Tracey, I..." His voice was slightly stiff, and he said falteringly.I glanced at him and saw that his face was as red as mine.But he didn't cry, he just looked embarrassed. "Um...sorry," he said, "I didn't mean to...sorry." I wish I had told him not to take it personally because it wasn't personal to him.I should have told him that even at home my parents rarely held hands so I told myself to avoid intimacy and they taught me to take it seriously and not to be too casual.Maybe, if I say so, he won't feel too hurt by the embarrassment.

But this is really aimed at him personally.He's my friend, but that's all.And what could be more personal than this reason? I took a breath, and when I let it out slowly, I put a smile on my face and asked, "Sorry for what?" in a feigned bewilderment, trying not to sound casual.I brushed off my trousers and stood up, but there was nothing on my trousers. "I have to go now." He nodded without looking at me. "Are you okay? I mean... because of your parents, not because of..." My voice got smaller and smaller until I could hardly hear myself.If not, I really don't know what to say.

"Oh, nothing." He nodded again—a little too hard. "See you later, Triss." When leaving the dorm, I try not to walk so fast.When the dormitory door closed softly behind me, I put my hand on my forehead and grinned.Other than being a little awkward, it feels good to be liked.None of us wanted to mention the brief reunion with our family that night, it was undoubtedly too painful.Therefore, the ranking of the first level became the only topic we talked about.Every time someone next to me brought up family visits, I would just stare somewhere on the other side of the room and ignore them.

My ranking shouldn't be as bad as it used to be, especially after I beat Molly.But it's not going to be good enough to put me in the top ten at the end of the test, especially when you take into account the faction's freshmen. At dinner, I sat at a corner table with Christina, Will, and Al.We didn't feel comfortable being so close to Pete, Molly, and Drew, who sat at the next table.Once the conversation at our table stopped, we could hear every word they said.They're speculating on rankings, as expected. "You can't keep pets?" Christina said, slapping her hands on the dining table, "Why not?"

"It's illogical to keep a pet." Will took it for granted, "What's the point of letting an animal that chews on furniture everywhere, smells bad, and ends up dying?" Al and I exchanged glances.That's what we do every time Christina and Will start to have a good fight.But this time, as soon as our eyes met, we all turned to other places in unison.How I hope this embarrassing period between us can pass quickly, and I still want to continue to be friends with him. "Meaning..." Christina trailed off, then tilted her head, and said, "They're interesting. I used to have a pit bull called Cheek. We had a whole one on the cabinet once. Grilled chicken, trying to cool it down, but Chuck dragged it off the cabinet and ate it while my mom was going to the bathroom. There were no bones or skin left. We all died laughing."

"Ouch, this does turn me around. Of course I want to live with a little guy who steals my food and messes up my kitchen." Will shook his head, "If you're so nostalgic, why don't you pass the test Adopt another one?" "Because," Christina's smile faded, and she poked hard at the potatoes on the plate with her fork, "the status of dogs in my heart is completely destroyed, you know, after the personality test." We exchanged glances in astonishment.Everyone knows that testing shouldn't be talked about, not even after we've picked a faction, but it's certainly not as serious a rule for them as it is for me.My heart was beating restlessly in my chest.To me, that provision is like a protection.It saves me from having to lie to my friends about my test results.Every time the words "divergent" came to mind, Tori's warnings sounded—and now my mother's. "Don't tell anyone, or you'll be in danger." "You mean...stabbing that vile dog, right?" Will asked. One word awakens the dreamer.I almost forgot, the test result is that the "fearless" people will choose the dagger in the situational simulation, and when the dog attacks, it will be stabbed to death.No wonder Christina never wanted a dog again.Subconsciously, I pulled the sleeve over my wrist, clenching my fingers tightly. "Yeah," she said. "Aren't you the same as me?" She looked first at Al, then at me, narrowed her brown eyes, and said to me, "You didn't." "Ok?" "Seeing that you are fidgeting, there must be something wrong. Are you hiding something?" she said. "what?" "In Honesty," Al nudged me with his shoulder.Well, this feels much more normal.The friendship between the two of us didn't give way to his flirtation with me, "We 'read minds' through different body language, so when someone is lying or hiding something from us, we will know." "Oh." I scratched the back of my neck, "Then..." "Look, here we go again." Christina pointed to my hand. I feel my heart beating in my throat.If they see that I'm lying, how can I cover up the test results?You must control your body language.I put my hands down between my knees, still anxious: Is this what honest people do? At least I don't have to be evasive about dogs. "Yes, I didn't stab the dog." "You didn't use a knife, so how did you become Dauntless?" Will squinted at me. I looked him in the eyes and said calmly, "I'm not Dauntless. My results are Dauntless." This is half true.This is the result reported by Tori, and it is also entered in the system.Anyone with access to the system can see the results.I stared straight into his eyes for a while.Never look away, or they will become suspicious.Then I shrugged and poked a piece of meat with a fork.Hope they can trust me, they have to trust me. "Then why did you still choose Dauntless?" Christina asked puzzled, "Why?" "I told you," I grinned at her, "because I like Dreadnought food the best." She laughed out loud and called out to the others, "You know what? Triss hadn't seen a hamburger before she came here." She happily talked about our first day.My body relaxed a little, but my heart still felt heavy.I shouldn't have lied to my friends, it's put up barriers between us, and now there are more barriers than I thought: grabbing the flag with Christina, rejecting Al. After dinner, we walked back to the dormitory in twos and threes.Because the ranking will be known soon, thinking of this, it is hard for me not to rush back, wishing to see my ranking all at once.When we got to the dorm door, Drew pushed me against the wall so he could get past me.I staggered, and my arm was scratched by the stone wall, but I didn't care about it, stood up hastily, and continued walking. The freshmen gathered around the back of the room, and my little one was blocked from seeing.When I found a gap among the densely packed people and looked over, I saw the "blackboard" on the ground, leaning on the fourth's lap, with the back facing us, and he was standing there, holding the blackboard in one hand. With a piece of chalk. "Attention those who just came in, I will repeat the method of determining the ranking again." The fourth child said, "After the first round of fighting, we will rank according to your skill level. The score depends on your skill level and your opponent's skill Good or bad. People who improve more or beat someone with a higher level of ability can get high points. Also, I will not give points to someone who beats a weaker opponent, it is an act of cowardice." At the last sentence, I felt like his eyes lingered on Pete, but then moved away quickly, so I'm not sure. "If a very high-ranked player loses to a low-ranked opponent, we will deduct points accordingly." At this, Molly made an uncomfortable sound, something like a grunt or a snort. "The second test is more important than the first, because it is closely related to overcoming cowardice," he explained. Ranking is extremely difficult." I moved my feet back and forth, trying to find a suitable gap and get a good look at his expression.But when I finally saw it, I hurriedly looked away. It turned out that he was already staring at me, probably because I was attracted by my nervous behavior. "We will announce the elimination list tomorrow." The fourth child said unhurriedly, "We won't consider whether you are a transfer freshman or a freshman from our faction. Maybe four of you will become non-factionists, while this faction None of the freshmen in the faction; it could be that four of the freshmen in the faction will become independents and none of you: either outcome is possible. Anyway, just take a look at your rankings." He hung the "blackboard" on the hook, and took two steps back so that everyone could take a closer look at the rankings: sixth?I turned out to be sixth?I didn't expect that Molly beat me up so much in my ranking.Correspondingly, because of losing to me, Molly's ranking also dropped a lot.My eyes jump to the bottom of the list: Thank goodness Al wasn't last.However, unless all the freshmen from this faction fail the first test, he will still become a person without faction. I glanced at Christina, who looked at the "blackboard" with her head tilted and frowning.She's not the only one doing this.The silence in the room felt unnerving, like rocking back and forth on a ledge. Then it fell. "What?" Molly shouted pointing at Christina, "I 'tied up' her, and I 'tied up' her in a few minutes. Why is she ranked higher than me?" "Yeah," Christina folded her hands on her chest, with a smug smile on her face, "so what?" "If you want to keep your ranking, it's best not to develop the habit of losing to low-ranking opponents." The fourth child said.His voice overwhelmed the whining and grunting of the newborns.He put the chalk in his pocket and walked past me without looking in my direction.Those words made me feel a little prickly, reminding me that the people who ranked lower were referring to me. Obviously, this also reminded Molly. "You," her small eyes turned to me, "you're going to pay for this." I expected her to pounce on me, or give me a spank, but she just turned on her heels and stalked out of the dorm.This is even worse.If she's going to get mad, hit me with a punch or two, and the anger is quickly exhausted.But she turned around and left. Leaving means that she will plot something, and leaving means that I have to be on guard at all times to prevent accidents. After the ranking was announced, Pete's behavior was also abnormal, he didn't say anything.On weekdays, he always complains non-stop whenever something doesn't go his way, but this time it's really surprising.He just went over to the bunk and sat down, untying his shoelaces.This made me feel even more uneasy.He won't settle for second, that's not in his character. Will and Christina high-five each other, and Will pats me on the back with his hands that are bigger than my shoulder blades. "Look at you, number six!" Will grinned. "Probably still not good enough," I reminded him. "It's going to be okay, don't worry," he said. "We should celebrate." "Okay, then let's go now." Christina grabbed my arm with one hand and Al's with the other, "Al, come on. We don't know how the freshmen in our faction are doing. Sure, don't be so pessimistic." "I just want to go to bed," he murmured, pulling away from Christina's hand. Walking down the aisle, it was easy to forget about Al, Molly's vengeance and Pete's suspicious calm, and it was easy to pretend that any rift between our friendships didn't exist.But the fact that lingers in the back of my mind is that Christina and Will are also my opponents.If I want to break into the top ten, I have to beat them both first. I just hope I don't have to betray them then. That night, I couldn't fall asleep for a long time.The dormitory is surprisingly quiet, eerily quiet, and the sound of everyone's breathing makes me upset on weekdays, but it's too quiet now.Whenever there is silence, I miss my family.Thankfully, Dauntless dorms are usually pretty noisy as hell. I think of my mother.If she was from Dauntless, why did she choose Unselfish?Did she like the serenity, the banality of the disinterested, and the virtues—all those qualities I so miss when I think about it? Wonder if anyone here has known her since she was young and told me what she was like back then?I think even if someone knows, they probably don't want to talk about it.Once a transferer is a member of a new faction, he should not talk about his former faction.This makes it easier to transfer family allegiance to faction - living up to the creed that "affairs are more important than blood." I buried my face in the pillow, thinking of my mother's instructions.She wants me to tell Caleb to check out the scenario serum - why?Is the composition of the serum related to my being a "divergent" or is it related to my danger?Is there any other reason?I sigh.I had a thousand questions, but she turned away before I could ask any of them.It's all swirling in my head now, and I suspect I won't be able to sleep until I find the answer. At this time, there was a scuffling sound from the other side of the dormitory.I lifted my head from the pillow, my eyes hadn't adapted to the darkness, staring at the darkness, as if I hadn't opened my eyes yet.I heard the squeak of sneakers against the ground, the scuffling, followed by a loud bang. Then a wail pierced the silence of the night, and I felt the blood in my whole body freeze instantly, and my hair stood on end.I threw the blanket behind me and stood barefoot on the rocky ground. I couldn't tell where the cry came from, but I could vaguely see a vague shadow lying on the ground about a few beds away.Another scream pierced my eardrums. "Turn on the light." Someone yelled. I walked towards the sound, walking very slowly, for fear of stepping on something and tripping myself.I feel like I'm in a hypnotic state.I really don't want to see where the screams are coming from.That kind of scream could only mean blood, bones or pain, it was a scream from the depths of my heart that spread all over every inch of my body. The lights are on. Edward lay on the floor beside the bunk, scratching his face in pain, a pool of blood around his head, and a silver knife handle protruding from between his scratching fingers.With the pounding of my heart pounding in my ears, I recognized the knife as the one used to cut butter in a restaurant.The blade went into his eye. Myra was standing at Edward's feet, screaming, and there were screams all around, and others yelling for help.Edward lay rolling on the ground, crying.I knelt down beside his head, kneeling in a pool of blood, and placed my hands lightly on his shoulders. "Lie down and don't move," I said.Even though I couldn't hear anything, I felt so calm, like submerging my head in water.Edward was struggling again, and I said loudly and sternly, "Listen to me, lie still and breathe." "My eyes!" he screamed. I smelled a foul stench. It turned out that someone had vomited. "Get out!" he cried, "Get out, get the knife out of me!" I shook my head, only to realize that he couldn't see me, and I felt an urge to laugh and was extremely excited.If I'm going to help him I have to suppress this unnatural excitement, I have to forget myself. "No," I said firmly, "the doctor has to pull it out, you hear? Let the doctor pull it out. Come on, take a deep breath." "It hurts." He sobbed. "I know it hurts." It wasn't my tone, it was my mother's tone.I seem to see her squatting in front of me on the sidewalk in front of our house, wiping the tears from my broken knee and saying the same thing.I was five years old at that time. "It'll be fine," I said firmly, as if I wasn't trying to reassure him casually, but I was.I don't know if it will be okay.Impossible to be okay. The nurse came and told me to take a step back, which I did, only to find Edward's blood on my hands and knees.Looking around, I saw that only two faces were missing. Drew. And Pete. After they took Edward away, I went to the bathroom with a change of clothes and washed my hands.Christina followed me and stood in the doorway of the bathroom without saying a word.I'm glad she did because there really isn't much to say. I frantically rinsed the lines on my palms, and used my nails to dig out the blood from under the nails; then I changed into the pants I brought, and threw the blood-stained clothes into the trash can; I took out another handful of tissues.Someone needs to clean up the filth in the dormitory, and since I don't think I'll be able to sleep anymore, I'd better do it. Just as I was reaching for the doorknob, Christina said suddenly, "You know who did it, don't you?" "yes." "Then should we tell others?" "Do you really think the Dauntless are going to take care of it?" I said. "They're the ones who let you hang on the canyon and don't care about your life? Are they the ones who let us beat each other to death?" She didn't say anything. After that, I spent half an hour alone on my knees on the dorm floor, scrubbing Edward's blood.Christina helped me throw away the dirty blood-stained tissues and handed me new ones.Myra is gone, and she probably followed Edward to the hospital. No one slept well that night. "Although it sounds unbelievable." Will said, "I still hope that today will not be a holiday." I nod.I understand what he means.Having something to do is a distraction, and that's what I need right now. I'm not often alone with Will.But Al and Christina are catching up on sleep, and neither Will nor I want to be in this place for a moment.Although he didn't say that, I knew it. I picked my fingernails back and forth.I've washed my hands thoroughly after Edward's blood, but it still feels like it's still on my hands.Will and I were walking aimlessly, with nowhere to go. "How about we go see him?" Will suggested. "How about 'I don't know you very well, but it hurts me to see you get stabbed in the eye with a knife'?" It wasn't funny at all, and I knew it as soon as he said it.But there was still an involuntary surge of laughter in my throat, because I couldn't hold it back, so I laughed out loud.Will stared at me for a moment, then laughed too.Sometimes all you have to do is cry or laugh, and it seems better to laugh.That couldn't be more true, and I feel better now. "I'm sorry," I said, "it's just that this is really ridiculous." I don't want to cry for Edward - at least not in the way of deep, sad tears for a friend or a lover.Tears welled up suddenly.I want to cry because the tragedy happened, I saw it with my own eyes, but I couldn't do anything about it.People who want to punish Pete don't have the power, and people with power don't want to punish him.While the Dauntless have a clear policy against hurting people in this way, it's impossible to enforce it with someone like Eric in power. I said very seriously, "In other sects we are brave if we tell the truth, but here... in Dauntless... being brave doesn't do us any good." "Have you read the faction manifesto?" Will asked. The faction manifesto is written after the faction is formed.We learned about it in school, but I never read it. "Have you read it?" I frowned, looking at Will, and remembering that he once memorized a city map for fun. "Oh, you must have read it. Forget I didn't ask." "I remember a line in the Dauntless Manifesto that said, 'Everyday things are heroic, and standing up for others is courageous.'" Will sighed. He doesn't need to say anything else, I understand what he means.Perhaps the intentions of the establishment of the Fearless faction were good, with correct ideas and correct goals, but they gradually drifted away.It dawned on me that the same is true of the polymath.Long ago, the polymaths pursued knowledge and creativity only for good, and now they pursue knowledge and creativity with greed.If this is true for the Dauntless and the Erudite, presumably the other factions suffer from the same problem.I hadn't really thought about this before. Despite seeing its depravity in Dauntless, I couldn't leave.Not only because I am afraid of the completely isolated life of no faction, which sounds like life is worse than death, but more importantly, in this short time, I fell in love with this place, and I saw a faction worth saving.Perhaps, one day, the Dauntless can be brave and noble again. "Let's go to the restaurant," Will said, "and get some cake." "Okay." I smiled. On the way to the base pit, I repeat Will's quote so I don't forget: "Heroes are seen in small daily matters, and courage is seen in defending others." What a beautiful idea. Later, when we got back to the dorm, Edward's bunk had been emptied, and all the drawers were open and empty.Across the room, Myra's side was the same. When I asked Christina where they were going, all she said was, "They quit." "Myra quit too?" "She said that there is no Edward, and she doesn't want to be here alone. Anyway, she will be out sooner or later." Christina shrugged, as if she didn't know what to do.If that's true, I can understand how she feels. "That's fine, at least... Al won't be squeezed out." Al would have been out, Edward's departure saved him.After this happened, the Dauntless decided to spare him until the next level. "Who else is out?" I asked. Christina shrugged again: "Two freshmen from this faction, I don't remember their names." I nodded and looked at the "blackboard".Someone crossed out Edward's and Myra's names, and everyone else's ranks were changed, and each moved up a rank: Pete first, Will second, me fifth.There were nine of us at the beginning of the first level. Now there are seven of us.