Chapter 82 Chapter 81

Midnight has passed.A bright moon hung high in the sky, silvering the deserted streets, and silvering the long train of freight trains that rumbled and screamed into the Bahnhof Main Street, rattled to a stop outside the Hamburg barracks.The sound echoed in the middle of the straight street, waking up the restless and sleepy people. "Did you hear that voice?" The words whispered in multiple languages ​​from among the rows of crowded third-tier sleepers. Residents were not deported for a long time.This train may be bringing in more material for that stupid beautification campaign.Or, it may have come to transport the products of the factory.Worried people murmured so, though everything except people was usually always moved in and out by trucks and horse-drawn wagons instead of trains.Of course, a group of people may be brought in, but the people who are sent usually arrive during the day.

Ellen.Jastrow was perusing the Talmud in his ridiculously well-furnished ground-floor room on Zee Street (which would be a spot where Red Cross visitors would stop and visit) when he heard the train approach.Natalie didn't wake up.This is also good!The Council of Elders fought for days over the deportation order.The control figures are imprinted on Jastrow's mind: all Jews currently in Theresienstadt 35,000 German protected persons (well-known persons, half-Jews, Danes, Medal of Honor recipients) , wounded veterans and their families) 9,500 people protected by the Central Secretariat (administrative staff, bureaucrats, art personnel, arsenal workers) 6,500 protected people a total of 16,000 people available for repatriation 19,000 Seventy-five hundred people had to go—nearly half the number "available for repatriation" and one-fifth of the entire population of the ghetto.What an exasperating tease these dates are!Anticipation of the Allied landing on May 15 swept over Theresienstadt.People have been waiting and praying for this day to come.Now, the deportation team is frantically flipping through the index cards for the 2,500 people who were sent away for the first time on May 15th.The deportation will take place in three trains over three consecutive days.

This deportation will seriously damage the beautification movement.Decent men from the technical department are repainting the city, planting flower beds, laying turf, building, renovating.As a result, they will lose a lot of labor.Cast lists for various orchestras, choruses, plays and operas will be in pieces.But the SS was indifferent.Ram had warned that the job had to be done well and the shows had to run smoothly, or the people in charge would regret it.The beautification campaign was the cause of this deportation.As the date of the Red Cross visit approached, the commander became nervous, wondering if he could keep the visit along a restrictive route.The entire ghetto was cleaned up.In order to alleviate the overcrowding, the water gate in the east was opened again.

Jastrow was heartbroken over the great tragedy—and a personal loss as well.The headquarters ordered that all orphans in the city be sent away.When Red Cross guests question a child's parents, they are not allowed to hear that they are dead, or—this is a taboo phrase—“sent away.” Half the students in his Talmud class are is an orphan.His top student Schmier.Horowitz was one: a lean, shy boy of sixteen, with long hair, a wispy beard, large eyes of infinite sadness, and a lightning-quick wit.How could he bear the loss of Schmier?If only the Allies would actually land, that would be great!May that shock delay or cancel this deportation!It would be a miracle to save 7,500 Jews from the Holocaust.Simply rescuing Schmier from Kawasaki was a miracle.In Jastrow's affectionate view, the light emanating from the boy's head could illuminate the future of the entire Jewish nation.He could be a Maimonides, a Rashi.How sad it must be to lose such a gifted man in that terrible flash of flame over Auschwitz!

Early in the morning, Natalie went to work at the mica factory, unaware of the waiting train.Jastrow went to the newly relocated and excellently equipped library.The library of a small junior college is nothing more than that: a whole room filled with new steel bookshelves, bright lights, sleek desks, elegant chairs, and even carpets.The collection is extensive, ranging from a wide variety of books in all the major European languages ​​to an astonishing collection of Jewish books, all indexed and cataloged with great precision.Of course, no one is using this extravagant device.Readers and borrowers alike have to rehearse when the time is right, so that everything appears natural to the Danish guest.

None of Jastrow's men mentioned the train.Day gradually transitioned into evening.Nothing happened.He secretly hoped that everything would go well.But here they were: two ragged Jews from the deportation committee: a tall man with rippling red hair holding the stack of call-up notices;Their looks are pained, for they know they are walking in an atmosphere of hatred.They plodded slowly from room to room, searching for each deportee, handing him the call-up notice for his signature.Libraries have been hit hard.Jastrow lost five of his seven staff, including Schmier.Horowitz included.Schmier sat at the desk with the gray card on it, brushed his young beard, and looked at Jastrow.Then he slowly turned his palms outwards, his dark eyes with dark circles wide open, as sad as the eyes of Jesus in Byzantine mosaics.

Natalie was already there when Jastrow returned to the residence.She uses a pair of Heel Schmier.Horowitz's eyes fixed on him, and he held up two gray cards towards him.She and Louise were assigned to leave on the 17th by the third train, "to resettle on the Dresden side." The numbers they sent were all written on the cards.She had to report to the Hamburg barracks on the sixteenth with Louis, carrying light luggage, a change of underwear, and twenty-four-hour rations. "There must be a mistake," said Jastrow. "I'm going to find Epstein right now." Natalie was as pale as the card. "Do you think it was a mistake?"

"Must be wrong. You're a famous person, a mica factory worker, and a nursery school teacher. The deportation committee is a madhouse. Somebody got the wrong card. I'll be back in an hour. You're happy." A large crowd crowded noisily outside the Magdeburg barracks.The swearing ghetto guards were trying to line people up; they used fists, shoulders, and the occasional rubber stick.Jastrow walked in through a dedicated entrance.From across the main foyer came the angry, anxious clamor of applicants filling the removals office.Outside Epstein's suite, another group stood.Jastrow recognized senior staff from the Economic and Technical Divisions.The scope of this repatriation is really wide!Jastrow didn't go in line.Eldership was a nasty burden, but at least it gave the right to approach the big men, and even—if there was anything to be done with them—to the SS.Epstein's pretty Berlin secretary looked tired and irritable, but she smiled reluctantly at Jastrow and let him in.

Epstein sat clutching his new, handsome mahogany desk with both hands.In terms of furnishing and decoration, this office is now suitable for a banker in Prague; a long briefing to the Red Cross is scheduled to be made here.Epstein looked surprised to see Jastrow.He was warm and sympathetic about what happened to Natalie.Yes, errors are not absolutely impossible.Those poor deportation guys running around in a daze.He went to investigate.Did Jastrow's niece get into trouble by accident?"Nothing like that, definitely not," Jastrow said, wanting to hand over the gray card to Epstein.

The senior elder retracted his hand. "No, no, no, let her keep it first, don't mess things up. After the mistake is corrected, she will be notified to return the card." For three days in a row, there was no further news from Epstein.Jastrow tried again and again to see him, but the Berlin secretary became cold, obnoxious, businesslike.She said it was useless to pester her.When the senior elder gets the news, he will be notified.Meanwhile, Natalie snoops out and tells Jastrow that all members of her Zionist group have received deportation notices.And she admitted wistfully that Jastrow had been prescient and that some informer must have betrayed them and they were being purged.The group included the surgical director of the hospital, the deputy director of the food management agency, and the former president of the German Jewish Veterans Association.Apparently, none of this group was given shelter.

The first two trains left.With the exception of Natalie herself, all members of her secret clique were sent away.In the third shift, a long train of cattle cars shrieked into the Bahnhofstrasse.All over Theresienstadt, the deportees trudged toward the Hamburg barracks with luggage, rations, and small children in the bright afternoon sun. Jastrow made one last attempt to meet Epstein.He failed and went back to the lodgings, but this time there was a glimmer of hope.One of his students worked in the central secretariat and quietly told him the news.The deportation committee made a serious mistake.They issued more than 8,000 call-up notices, but the SS had a contract with Deutsche Bahn to transport 7,500 people.Deutsche Bahn called this kind of transport "special trains", and they charged the SS a reduced third-class group fare.In total, the train carriages are only big enough to carry 7,500 people.So at least five hundred call-up notices can be canceled; five hundred deportees can be saved! When Jastrow broke the news to Natalie, she was sitting on the couch sewing, with Louis beside her.She heard the news with little joy, almost no reaction at all.When the situation was bad, Natale always relied on a narrow shell of numbness to protect herself, and now she retreated into this old shell again. She told Jastrow that right now she was hesitating about what to wear.She dressed Louis up like Lord Fauntleroy, and bought or borrowed clothes from people who would not leave.With calm, bewildered, almost paradoxical logic, she explained that her appearance would matter since she was no longer under the patronage of a famous uncle.She was on her own, so she had to put on her best looks.She is going to the SS soon, and as long as she can gain immediate favor in the eyes of the SS officers and soldiers, prove that she is an American and a celebrity, then the feminine charm and Louis's innocence and loveliness, combined with the A young mother's sympathy will surely have an effect on her.Should she go in this rather alluring purple dress?She was sewing a yellow star on the dress as they talked.In such warm weather, she said, it might be just the thing to wear on the road.What does Ellen think? He gently catered to her mood at the time.No, the purple dress might provoke the Germans, and even the lowly Jews.The custom-made gray dress was very elegant, very German in style, and it could set off her figure.When she and Louise arrive, they will stand out.When he said this, she kept nodding solemnly, expressing her agreement, and then folded the dress with the yellow star logo on it, and put it in the suitcase, saying that it might be useful sooner or later.She went on packing, muttering half to herself and half to Jastrow about the choices she had to make.Ellen opened a desk drawer with the key, took out a pocket knife, and slit two or three seams of the stout shoe on her right foot.Although she was a little numb, it struck her as strange. "What are you doing?" the shoe was too small, he said, going into his room. , and when he came out again, he had on his best suit and that old fedora, and looked like a deportee; Still panicked, she couldn't tell which. "Natalie, I'm going to follow up on the cancellation of some recruitment notices." "But I'm going to the Hamburg barracks soon." "I won't need much time. Anyway, I can go up there to see you tonight." She stared at him. "Honestly, do you think there is hope?" Her voice was skeptical, cold. "Let's see." Ellen bent a knee beside Louis as he played with Natalie's Punch puppet on the floor. "Louis," he said in Yiddish, "good-bye, God bless you." He kissed the child.Louis giggled at the itchy beard. Natalie packed up, closed the suitcase, tied the bundle.She has nothing to do now.This was unbearable to her.Keeping herself busy was the best way for her to get rid of her fears.She knew deeply that she and Louis were on the verge of danger.She didn't forget what happened in the "East" conveyed by Ellen and what Ban Ruier said, she didn't forget, but she suppressed it in her heart.Neither she nor Ellen ever mentioned Auschwitz again.Auschwitz was not mentioned in the deportation notice either.She did not give much thought to the thought that she might be going there.By this time, she didn't even regret her involvement in the Zionist underground.The event lifted her spirits, took her destiny into her own hands, and gave her destiny a certain meaning. The brutal German oppression was due to the fact that the Jews were unarmed and homeless.Bad luck brought her into this catastrophe.But Western liberalism will always be a mirage.Assimilation is impossible.Until now, she herself had lived an empty Jewish life, but she had found meaning in her own life.If she survives, she will spend her life restoring the Jewish state in the ancient land of the Jewish people in Palestine. She believes it.This is her new belief.At least she believed she believed.A faint, defiant, mocking American voice never quite died from her; it whispered that what she really needed was to live, to return to Byron, to settle in San Francisco or Colorado; her sudden transformation, acceptance Zionism, it was just a psychotropic morphine for her troubled, miserable life.But be it morphine or faith, she risked her life for it, was ready to pay the price, and still didn't regret it.All she regretted was that she didn't immediately accept Ban Ruier's proposal and send Louis away.If only she could do the same, how nice it would be! She couldn't wait for Ellen any longer, so she had to carry a bag of dry food and toiletries, and a suitcase in each hand, and set off for the Hamburg barracks, with Louis staggering beside her.She stepped into a line of hunched, ragged, ragged-backed Jews, all heading in that direction.It was a sunny afternoon.Here and there, there were many flowers blooming on the verges of the green lawns, which had been freshly laid in the last two or three weeks.The streets of Theresienstadt are clean at this time.The whole city is filled with the breath of spring.The buildings are freshly powdered yellow and gleaming.Although the beautification movement still has a lot to do, the Red Cross guests can almost be fooled for now, Natalie thought gloomily as she squinted at the sunset directly in front of the street, fooled, that is to say , if they didn't go into the barracks, or if they didn't ask about the branch line into the city or the local death rate. She squeezed into the long line outside the Hamburg barracks, holding Louis tightly by the hand, pushing the suitcase forward with her foot.The black locomotive was parked under the roof of the terminal across the street.At the entrance to the courtyard, under the watchful eyes of SS soldiers, the Jews of the deportation committee sit at a white wooden table and informally question the deportees - cross-examination, roll-calling, calling numbers, stamping documents with rubber stamps chapters, and everything was done with that tedious haste of immigration inspectors, which is the same at any border. Then, it was Natalie's turn.The clerk who took her papers was a short man in a red cloth cap.He yelled at her in German, stamped papers, scribbled a few notes.Then, he accepted her card, turned around and shouted two numbers to Qihou.A man who hadn't shaved in three days handed him two cardboard signs threaded with string.The numbers on Natalie's two gray cards were written on the two signs in large black numbers.Natalie hung one number plate around her neck and the other around Louis' neck. At SS headquarters, Ellen.Jastrow, fedora in hand, was standing outside the commander's office because the adjutant had told him to wait in the passage.The German in uniform walked past him without looking at him.It was not uncommon for a Jewish elder to be summoned to the office of Squadron Commander Ram, especially when a beautification campaign was in progress.Anxiety made the old man's knees weak, yet he dared not lean against the wall.A Jew lolling in front of the Germans received a fist or a club, beautified or not.This cautiousness has penetrated into his bones.It took a lot of effort to keep himself upright. He made this decision in his abode with great apprehension.His hands shook so badly as he cut the seam in the shoe that the first cut slipped aside and cut his left thumb, which was still bleeding, though he was wrapped in a rag.Luckily Natalie hadn't noticed it in her shock, though she did see him cut the stitches.But once he had made his decision, he overcame his doubts and moved forward.The rest is in God's hands.The timing of the final adventure is up to him.The Allies would land, if not in May then in June or July.The Germans were losing ground on all fronts.The war may end abruptly.Natalie and Louis must not leave this time. "Give gifts, pray, fight!" Ellen.Jastrow muttered the three Hebrew words over and over again.These three words gave him courage.He remembered those three words from a childhood Bible lesson about Jacob and Esau.After twenty years of separation, the brothers were about to meet when Jacob heard that Esau was coming with four hundred armed men.Jacob then sent first a great gift, whole herds of oxen, asses, and camels; he lined up the caravan for battle; and at the same time he begged God for help.Rahi commented, "The three ways to prepare to receive the enemy are: gift giving, prayer and fighting." Jastrow had prayed.He carried with him valuable gifts.If he had to, he was ready to fight. The adjutant was a tall, red-cheeked Austrian, certainly not more than twenty-five years old, but his military belt bound his green uniform-covered belly into two round balls.He opened the office door. "Okay, hello. Come up here." Jastrow walked through the outer room, into the open door, and into Ram's office.The scowling Commander was sitting at his desk in his office writing.The adjutant closed the door behind Jastrow.Ram didn't look up.His pen rustled and wrote and wrote.Jastrow desperately wanted to pee.He had never been in this office before.The huge portraits of Hitler and Himmler, the swastika flag, a huge silver and black medallion on the wall with the double lightning SS emblem enlarged on it all discouraged him.In almost any other situation he would have asked for a trip to the bathroom, but this time he dared not ask. "What do you want?" Ram shouted suddenly, staring at him fiercely, his face turning red. "Your Excellency, I can respectfully—" "What are you doing respectfully? Do you think I don't know why you're up here? Say a word for that Jewish bitch niece of yours and you'll be thrown out of here in no time, covered in blood! Do you understand?" Do you think you're a bullshit elder who can break into headquarters and intercede for a Jewish sow who's plotting against the German government?" That's what Ram does.He has a fiery temper and can become dangerous at such moments.Jastrow nearly collapsed.Ram slapped the table, stood up, and screamed at him, "Well, Jew? You asked to see the commander, didn't you? I'll give you two minutes. If you mention your bitch niece even once, I'll knock your teeth down your piggy throat! Speak!" Jastrow said in a low voice, exasperated, "I have committed a great crime and I want to confess it to you." "What? What? A great crime?" The irritable face frowned, looking a little confused. Jastrow pulled a soft yellow pouch from his pocket. "With one trembling hand he placed the pouch in front of the Commander on the desk. Ram looked first at him, then at the pouch, with wide eyes, then took the pouch, and put all the six gleaming gems poured onto the table. "I bought it in Rome in 1940 for twenty-five thousand dollars, Commander. I lived in Italy then, in Siena," Jastrow said, his voice hardening a little. "After Mussolini entered the war, I took the precaution of exchanging my money for diamonds. As a well-known person, I was not inspected when I arrived in Theresienstadt. The regulations required the handing over of jewels. I Knowing this. I am so sorry that I have committed this grave crime that I come here to confess." Ram sat down on the chair again, fixed his eyes on the diamond, and grinned with fading anger. "Because of their value," Jastrow added, "I think it best to hand them directly to His Excellency the Commander." Ram stared mockingly at Jastrow for a long time, then burst out laughing loudly. "Worth! You probably bought it from a Jewish crook. It's all glass." "I bought it at Bilgari, Your Excellency. You must have heard of the best jewelers in Italy. The mark is on the purse." Ram didn't look at the purse.He pushed the diamonds away with the back of his hand, and the diamonds spread across the blotting cardboard. "Where have you been hiding them?" "Hiding in the sole of a shoe." "Ha! Old Jew trick. How much more do you hide?" Ram's tone became as sharp as a conversation.This is also his style.Once his anger has passed, you can strike up a conversation with him.Epstein said, "Rum did more barking and less biting." He did, however, bite.The bribe is on the desk.But Ram didn't take it.At this moment, Jastrow's fate was in doubt. "I have nothing." "If you go up to the little castle and wring your cock, you might remember you've overlooked something." "It's nothing else, Your Excellency." Jastrow was trembling, but his answer was smooth and convincing. Ram picked up the diamonds one by one and held them up to the light. "Twenty-five thousand dollars? Wherever you bought it, you're blind and cheated. I know diamonds. It's rubbish." "A year after I bought it, I asked someone to estimate the price in Milan, and it was said to be worth forty thousand, Your Excellency Commander." At this time, Jastrow was making a little beautification on his own.Ram raised his eyebrows. "Your bitch-niece knows all about these diamonds, of course." "I never told her. It would be wiser. No one else in the world knows about these diamonds, Commander, just you and me." Squadron Leader Ram stared at Jastrow with bloodshot eyes for a long moment.He dropped the diamonds into the purse again, and put the purse in a pocket. "Oh, that whore and her bastards have to be sent away this time." "Your Excellency, Commander, as far as I know, too many recruitment notices have been issued, and many of them have to be cancelled." Ram shook his head stubbornly. "She must go. She was lucky not to be sent to the castle to be shot. Now, get out." He took up his pen and began to write again. However, the "gift" somehow helped.The orders to send him away were curt, but not harsh.Ellen.Jastrow was now obliged to make a swift judgment at the greatest risk.Of course, Ram cannot admit that the bribes played a role.But would he really take care of Natalie? "I said, get out of here quickly," Ram yelled. Jastrow decided to use his poor weapon. "My lord, if my niece is sent away, I have to tell you that I will resign as an elder. I will resign from the library. I will never take part in the beautification movement. I will not report to the The Red Cross guests are talking. Nothing can force me to change my mind." In his nervousness, he uttered these few prepared words suddenly like a cannonball. This audacity took Ram by surprise.The pen was put down.There was a fierce and terrifying tone in the low voice. "Are you interested in suicide, Jew? Suicide soon?" Jastrow hurried into more of his prepared words. "Your Excellency, Captain Eckermann took great pains to get me from Paris to Theresienstadt. I made a good window display! German journalists took my picture. I The book was published in Denmark. The Red Cross guests would be very interested in meeting me, but—" "Shut your spitting mouth," said Ram, with strangely calm air, "get out of here at once, if you want to live." "My lord, I don't value my life very much. I'm old and in poor health. Kill me and you'll have to explain to Mr. Eckerman what happened to his window display. To me Using the criminal law, if I live and survive, what kind of impression will I give to the Red Cross guests? If you cancel the call-up notice for my niece, I promise that the Red Cross guests will cooperate with you when they come to visit. I Make sure she'll never do anything stupid again." Ram pressed a buzzer and brought the pen again.The adjutant pushed open the door.Under Ram's murderous gaze and a gesture of sending him away with a wave of his pen, Jastrow rushed out of the room. The square in front of the headquarters has a large cluster of trees in bloom.Jastrow came out into the flower-scented street.The orchestra was playing the evening concerto, and a waltz was being played.The moon looked red, hanging low on the treetops.Jastrow staggered over to the open-air café where the Jew could sit and drink black water.He was an elder, so he could walk past the line of customers and slump down in a chair, covering his face with his hands in exhausted relief.He is still alive and unharmed.As for how much he accomplished, he didn't know, but he tried his best. Searchlights shone brightly from the roofs of the Hamburg barracks down onto the grass.Nata was so panic-stricken that her eyes were blinded by the light, she hurriedly picked up her sleeping son.Louis whimpered and cried. "Stand up! Three people stand in line!" The guards of the Jewish Quarter were striding on the grass and yelling. "Everyone out of the barracks! Come out into the yard! Line up! Hurry up! Stand up! Line up three!" The deportees dressed hastily and swarmed into the courtyard.These men had the foresight to report early in order to secure a berth, knowing that the SS barracks were being vacated to be used as assembly centers.The more than two thousand Jews who lived there all moved out and stayed where they could stay. "Some people are about to be exempted!" What else could it be?At this time, everyone knows that some more call-up notices have been issued.Guards set up two tables on the cleared grass, and the elders, led by Epstein himself, filed into the compound.The dispatchers sat down with their stacks of cards and papers, wire baskets, rubber stamps, and so on.Commander Ram also arrived, brandishing a short cane. The procession of three thousand Jews began to drag around the compound in front of Ram.He pointed with his cane, and the exemption went to a person.Those who were exempted all walked to a corner of the compound.Ram sometimes consults with the elders, otherwise he just singles out beautiful men and beautiful women.The whole procession has been inspected, and the second circle is beginning.It took a long time.Louis couldn't move his legs; Natalie had to carry him on her back because she was dragging the suitcases.When she came around again, she saw Ellen.Jastrow was talking to Ram.The commander threatened him with his cane, and turned his back on him.People kept walking forward under the floodlights. Suddenly, there was commotion and confusion! The guards yelled, "Stand at attention!" Squadron leader Ram yelled some foul words, and waved his cane at the deportees who twisted their bodies and dodged away.They somehow miscalculated.A long delay ensued.Whether Ram was drunk, or the Jew sitting at the table was incompetent or frightened, the clumsy job involving human life was dragged past midnight by this time.Finally, the procession began to move again.Natalie, in a trance and despair, plodded behind a limping old woman in a battered blouse with a black feather-like collar, after whom she followed slowly Been walking for hours.Suddenly, someone rudely pulled her elbow hard, causing her to turn sharply and stumble out of the procession. "What's the matter with you, you silly bitch?" muttered a bearded guard.Commander Ram was lighting her with his cane, with a mocking look on his face. The floodlights went out.The commanders, elders, and dispatched personnel all left.The exempted Jews were gathered and taken into another room with beds.A repatriation officer, the red-haired guy who handed out the call-up notices, told them they were now "in reserve."The Commander was angry at the miscalculation.I have to do the calculation again tomorrow when I get on the train.Until then, they had to stay in this room.Natalie had a horrible, sleepless night with Louis sleeping in her arms. The next day the deportation man came back with a typewritten list, called fifty names, and told them to get on the train.The list was not alphabetical, so the faces of those who listened intently were all strained before the last name was pronounced.Natalie was not called.The fifty unfortunates picked up their suitcases and went out.After another long wait, Natalie heard the screeching of the train whistle, the whistling of the locomotive, and the clang of moving cars. The red-haired man looked into the room and called out, "Pile your numbers on the table and get out of here. Go back to your barracks." Although Natalie was full of pain for the people on this train, especially for those she had spent the night with, taking Louis' number plate off his neck gave her the biggest feeling of her life. happy. Ellen.Jastrow waited among a group of relatives and friends of the exempted just outside the entrance to the barracks.Around them, the reunion of people is all restrained.He, too, only nodded at Natalie. "I'll get the suitcase." "No, just hold Louis, he's exhausted," she said in a low voice. “瞧在上帝份上，咱们快跟班瑞尔取得联系吧。” 几天以后，犹太区的一名卫兵在中午前后到云母工厂来找娜塔丽，叫她第二天上午八时带着孩子到党卫军总部去报到。下班以后，她一路奔回泽街的住处。埃伦呆在家里，正在小声颂读犹太教法典。这个消息似乎并不叫他心烦意乱。他说，很可能是要警告她一下。说到头。党卫军对于他们想使红十字会人员有所警觉的那项阴谋全知道了，而她是那个小团体中唯一留在犹太区里没走的人。她一定得卑躬屈节，自怨自艾；她一定得答应从今往后跟德国人合作。这无疑就是德国人要她做的事情。 “可是为什么要路易斯去呢？为什么叫我非带他去不可？” “你上次带他上那儿去的。副官大概记得这件事。不必多担忧。把精神振作起来。这是决定性的。” “你还没收到班瑞尔的来信吗？” 杰斯特罗摇摇头。“人家说可能需要一星期或一个多星期。” 娜塔丽那一夜通宵不曾合眼。窗外变成鱼肚白时，她就起身，人感到很不舒服。她穿上那身灰色衣服，把头发梳得极其漂亮，又用旧钵子里的干胭脂搽了一下，加点颜色，使自己显得还标致。 “不会有什么问题的，”她要走的时候，杰斯特罗说。尽管他宽慰地笑着，他自己的脸色却不很好看。他们做了一件就他们说来很不寻常的事；他们互相亲了亲。 她匆匆地赶到幼儿园去，给路易斯穿好衣服，吃了早餐。教堂大钟打八点时，她走进了党卫军总部。等她通报了姓名以后，门口办公桌旁那个一脸厌烦神情的党卫军兵士点点头。“跟着我来。”他们走下过道，下了一条长楼梯，又穿过另一条更黑暗的走道。路易斯偎在妈妈怀里，用亮晶晶的眼睛好奇地东张西望，手里拿着一个锡兵。党卫军兵士在一扇术门前面站住。“进去。等着。”他在娜塔丽身后把门关上。这是一个没有窗子、粉刷得雪白的房间，有一股地下室的气息，里面点着一盏有铁丝网罩着的灯泡。墙壁是石头造的，地面涂着水泥。有三张木椅子沿墙放着；在一个犄角里，有一个拖把和满满一铅桶水。 娜塔丽在一张椅子上坐下，把路易斯放在自己的膝上。过了很长的时间。她说不出过了多久。路易斯对着那个锡兵胡说一气。 The door opened.娜塔雨连忙站起身。拉姆司令官走进房来，后面跟着海因德尔督察，他随手把门关上了。拉姆穿着一套黑色军礼服；海因德尔穿着绿灰色的军便服。拉姆走到她面前，对着她咆哮道：“哼，你就是阴谋反对植国政府的那个犹太婊子罗！是吗？” 娜塔丽的喉咙收紧起来。她张开嘴，想说话，可是她发不出声来。 “你是还是不是？”拉姆大吼着。 “我——我——”她嘶哑地低声喘息。 拉姆对海因德尔说：“把这个该死的小杂种从她手里拿开。” 督察从娜塔丽的怀里一下把路易斯夺过去。她简直不大相信这件事当真发生了，但是路易斯的哭使她喉咙里嘶哑地挣出几句话来。“我糊涂，我受了骗，我愿意合作，别伤害我的孩子——” “不要伤害他？他完蛋啦，你这下贱的臭货，这你不知道吗？”拉姆朝着拖把和那桶水指了指。“他马上就要变成一堆血淋淋的烂肉啦，那就是用来收拾干净的。这工作归你自己来做。你以为你干了坏事人家就不知道吗？” 海因德尔是一个矮胖、结实的人，手上满是汗毛。他把路易斯颠倒过来，一手提着一只腿。孩子的上衣搭拉下去，遮住了他的脸。锡兵丁当一声落在地上。他瓮声瓮气地哭着。 “他死定了，”拉姆朝她嚷着。“动手，海因德尔，把这件事办好。把这孩子一扯两半。” 娜塔丽尖声喊叫起来，朝着海因德尔直扑过去，但是她绊了一下，摔倒在水泥地上。她用手和膝盖把身子撑起。“不要杀他！我什么事都愿意干。就是不要杀他！” 拉姆哈哈笑了一声，用手杖指着海因德尔，他还把那个哇哇直哭的孩子颠倒过来提着。“你什么事都愿意干？好，让我们来瞧你咂督察的阴茎。” 这并不使她震惊。这当儿，娜塔丽完全成了一只发狂的动物，极力想保护一只幼小的动物。“是，是，好，我愿意。” 海因德尔用一只手握住路易斯的两边足踝，把那个呜咽的男孩儿象只家禽那样倒提着。娜塔丽用手和膝盖向他爬过去。倘若娜塔丽这时是神志清醒的，那么这一切就会令人作呕、不可名状的，然而她当时所知道的只是，如果她用嘴含着那玩意儿，她的孩子就可以不受到损害。在她匍匐向前时，海因德尔倒往后退去。两个人全哈哈大笑起来。“瞧，她倒真想要，司令官，”他说。 拉姆呵呵大笑。“这些犹太女人都是臭货。来呀，让她乐一下吧。” 海因德尔站住了。娜塔丽爬到他的脚下。 海因德尔抬起一只穿着皮靴的脚抵到了她的脸上，把她踢得往后摔倒在地。她的头猛地一下撞在水泥地上。她只看见一道道弯弯曲曲的亮光。“从我面前滚开。你认为我会让你这龌龊的犹太嘴来玷污我吗？”他站在娜塔丽身旁，朝着她脸上唾了一口，把路易斯扔到了她的怀里。“去，找你的叔叔那个犹太教法典的拉比去。” 她坐起身，紧紧搂住孩子，把上衣从他发紫的脸上拉下。他喘息着，两眼直瞪瞪的，显得通红。接着，他呕吐了。 “站起来，”拉姆说。 娜塔丽照办了。 “现在听着，犹太母猪。等红十字会的人到来时，你得充当儿童部门的向导。你得给他们留下最好的印象。他们在报告中将详细提到你，你得是一个非常幸福的美国犹太女人。幼儿园得是你感到自豪的乐事。知道吗？” “当然啦。当然啦。我知道。” “等红十字会的人走了以后，你要是不管在哪方面行为不检点，你就要带着你的小鬼直接上这儿来。海因德尔就要当着你的面把他象块湿抹布那样扯成两半。你就得亲手把那堆血淋淋的烂肉收拾干净，再把它送到焚尸炉里去。然后，你就上战俘筑路大队的那座营房去。两百名臭烘烘的乌克兰人就要轮流干上你一星期。要是你这婊子的臭皮囊还支撑下来，那么你就上小堡去听候枪毙。明白吗，臭东西？” “你说什么我就做什么。我一定给他们一个极好的印象。” “好吧。还有，你要是对你叔叔或是任何别人提起一句今儿的事情，你就完蛋啦！”他把脸直伸到她那唾沫狼藉的脸前边，带着一股死人的气息震天价嚎叫，以致她耳朵都轰响起来，“你相信我所说的话吗？” “我相信！我相信！” “把她轰出去。” 督察握着她的胳膊把她拖出了房，拖上楼梯，穿过过道，然后把她连怀抱里的那个气息奄奄的孩子推出总部，到了外面春花烂漫的广场上。乐队正在演奏午前的协奏曲，是《浮士德》中的几首乐曲。 她回到住处时，杰斯特罗在等候着。孩子的脸上还抹得尽是呕吐的东西，似乎吓得目瞪口呆。娜塔丽的脸色使杰斯特罗很不好受，她眼睛睁得滚圆，外面一圈自边，皮肤发灰发青，一副临死前惊恐万状的神态。 “怎么样？”他说。 “是警告。我没怎样。我得换好衣服，上班去。” 半小时后，她穿着故旧的褐色衣服，带着孩子走出房来，杰斯特罗还在那儿。孩子已经盥洗过，似乎好了些。她的脸还是死灰色，不过那种令人惊骇的神色渐渐消失了。“你干嘛不上图书馆去？” “我想告诉你，班瑞尔那儿有消息来了。” “是吗？”她一把抱住他的肩膀，两眼显得十分热切。 “他们试试看。”