Chapter 9 Chapter nine

Bayonet or bullet?I think I should choose a favorite way to end my life. Major Portman wiped the spittle off his face with a handkerchief.His anger is so obvious right now, I don't think I'll ever get out of this room alive, but— why?Just a little bit, just a little bit away from killing him! I gritted my teeth and stared at the person in front of me bitterly! "Sir, this person is going to assassinate you. He must be a resistance member, just like his little princess." Sergeant Belken suggested gloatingly, "He should be shot immediately." Major Portman cast a gloomy glance at the adjutant, then at me: "Hand him to the chair for me, and the others can go out."

Sergeant Belken suddenly changed his face: "But, sir——" "I don't want to say it a second time." Distressed expressions appeared on the faces of the soldiers, and the sergeant glared at me viciously, but tilted his head.So my hand was twisted into a strange shape and buckled on the armrest, and it was locked tightly with a click, and then military boots stepped neatly past me, and the door was closed. Enduring the sharp pain in my wrist, I stared at the man in front of me—what kind of trick is he trying to play? Major Portman lowered his head without saying a word, looked at the scar on the back of his hand, and then smiled softly: "It's really exciting, Mr. Earl. If I didn't escape your knife, I'm afraid my head will be nailed on the ground?"

"..." "How brave you are for your fiancée! But what a fool!" "I'm really stupid to believe you!" "Ah," said he sharply, "it is true! You have forgotten who I am, and how I treated your two friends when we first met." I didn't have the strength to scold him anymore, regret and anger took over my brain, and I suddenly found myself not caring about everything, even Joseph's eyes, because I would see Marisa soon, and the only regret was Failed to kill her murderer. "Stop talking nonsense!" I looked at him, "You've done enough games these past few months, it's time to end, you won, hurry up!"

"You think I'm going to kill you?" He looked at me strangely. "Like you can kill Marisa, but don't expect me to beg for mercy." His expression became very strange again, his beautiful blue eyes seemed to be covered by something inexplicable, and then he whispered: "As expected... I knew..." I frowned, disgusted by his performance.He raised his head and met my gaze, seeming to understand how I felt at the moment. "Okay, Lord Earl." The man's tone immediately became as frivolous as before, "Personally, I don't want to end this now, I think it would be boring to let you die at this time things; because I don't want to help you realize the tragic ideal of that infatuated knight."

His last sentence was full of contempt and ridicule, which made me hate him even more: "Do you think I came to kill you for a show?" "No, no!" he shrugged. "You never realized that you were living in narcissism, so you certainly didn't think it was ridiculous." "Demons really can't understand human feelings." "Oh, oh," he exclaimed exaggeratedly, "it's an honor for me to be on the same level as him! But, my lord count, do you really think you love your fiancée so much?" I snorted coldly, unwilling to discuss this issue with him.

Major Portman was not angry, and even put away his cynical expression.He walked up to me and squatted down, grabbed my hair and forced my face up. Those ice blue eyes made me feel cold all over. "I know people like you. In your heart, everything must meet fixed standards, because you have received the most noble education, and you are moving forward according to the set life path. Birth, school, graduation, marriage, It's all smooth sailing, my lord Earl. Just when you had your career and property, a young, beautiful, simple, kind, gentle and considerate girl appeared, so you fell in love with her logically, and from now on you will spend time with her wholeheartedly. In this life, build a happy family. Your honor is to make your career successful, make your wife happy, protect her, treat her as the most luxurious canary, and then let your children be as smooth as you After a few decades... this is your life, isn't it?"

I have never heard anyone describe life in such a tone. This is a very hateful tone, containing ridicule and ridicule, as if the life pursued by ordinary people has become a ridiculous farce in his eyes.Is it me or fate that he looks down on? The poor man! My contemptuous eyes made him even more angry, the roots of his hair tightened in his hands, and even his scalp was aching: "Are you trying to tell me again, how can a person like me understand your feelings? You Are you really in love with your fiancée? Ha, then why don't you tell her about our deal? Are you afraid she will worry? You all treat love like house wine! If you really love her, you should let her be with you Bear the humiliation! And she doesn't need to worry about gains and losses because of my appearance! So for me, your so-called love-it's really cheap!"

I didn't fight him back verbally because it didn't do anything for him.If he wanted to irritate me with these words, then he obviously missed his purpose, and I didn't jump up and accuse him as angry as he hoped!The realization of death and the memory of Marisa made me very peaceful. Major Portman breathed heavily and quickly realized his gaffe.He let go of his hand, turned his back to me and turned on the desk lamp, then looked at the confiscated dagger, without speaking for a long time.I am now a lamb waiting to be slaughtered, unable to do anything for myself, but to watch his actions silently.

"I won't kill you, Lord Earl." The blond officer finally spoke again, "I said that I will not grant your wish, but if you still insist on killing me, you will only be asking for your own death—you even Not even a gun." I know he's telling the truth: I'm an unarmed citizen and he's an occupying army; he'll kill me like a gnat at will.After the first accident, he will take special precautions, and my actions will be laughed at by him like a clown.but-- "Do you think I'll give up?" He smiled softly: "No, no, of course not. You keep trying until you succeed. But it's okay, I don't mind."

Major Portman came up behind me and opened the handcuffs with the key. The sudden relief made my joints rattle, and I rubbed my wrists as I stood up, frowning at the man in front of me. He shrugged, with an indifferent expression on his face: "Let's go." I didn't move, surprise and doubt must have been on my face: "You have to understand what you're doing." "I'm sober." The tall man returned to his seat, picked up the dagger and slammed it on the table, showing me a cruel but confident smile: "I'll be here...waiting for you to kill me!"

So I went home. There were only a few pedestrians on the cold streets, and the street lights were flickering dimly. Although it was not yet the curfew time, Germans with live ammunition had already taken to the streets. It's raining again, and the cold drops run down my hair and onto my cheeks.I put my hands in my pockets, but I still didn't feel any warmth. I think my tears were frozen in my eye sockets by the cold air. Everything was the same, my friends were anxiously waiting for me in the living room, Joseph looked at me with hatred and contempt, and Marisa, my Marisa lay in the bedroom... lifeless. But I know I've changed, and some of my thoughts have completely changed.Major Portman cut something out of me and made me set my mind to do a lot. Well, let's start now. A funeral is scheduled for five days later.I called my mother myself and asked her to come to Paris; Joseph was in charge of notifying Monsieur and Madame Guild. There's no way I'm dealing with heartbroken older couples, I've failed them.They gave me their most important daughter, and I gave her to death. Their cries and tears made me feel ashamed.Joseph didn't say anything, just hid all the sadness in his eyes, the way he looked at me reminded me of what I said to him four days ago: "I will kill that person." I stood in front of the window of the piano room and told him, "I swear with my life that I will not easily let the murderer who killed Marisa go!" He looked at me coldly and just snorted. "Please believe in your sister's eyes, she will not fall in love with a man who will betray her. So, please also be a witness, I will fulfill this promise. If I fail, then you have the right... to kill I!" The young man trembled, looked at me for a long time, seemed to be measuring the truth of my words, and finally stretched out his hand to me.When the palms were tightly held together, I knew that this agreement would make me no way back. The funeral is simple and unadorned, which is Marisa's consistent style. Inside the black coffin is the serenade I wrote for her, only half of it, never to be finished.When the priest finished his eulogy, I kissed the pure lilies in my hand and sprinkled them on the coffin. The damp and heavy soil quickly buried the white body and my love together. I stood by the tomb watching the labor of the workers, my face was as pale as a ghost.My mother leaned against me and grabbed my hand tightly, as if I was going to leave with Marisa in the next moment.As soon as she received the call, she rushed from Armand Manor to Paris. When she first saw me, she didn't say anything, but hugged me tightly; and in her arms, I also understood how I could get a temporary calm. "Oh, Chartres, Chartres..." She whispered my name, tears trailing behind the black veil. I patted her hand and smiled weakly. Under the worried eyes of my mother and Simon, I was able to arrange the affairs behind Marisa, everything in an orderly manner, and my calmness surprised them. How could I fall down because of a simple ceremony now. When the cross carved with flower crowns was erected, the guests walked past me one by one to express their condolences.I returned the salute mechanically, but focused on the last person. This medium-sized man with a black top hat and a moustache gave me sincere eyes: "...I'm very sorry, Lord Earl, I didn't expect such a thing to happen..." "Thank you very much for coming, Mr. Raymond Dyce." "Those fascists, they all deserve hell! Believe me, they will get their comeuppance!" "Yes..." I lowered my voice to express my agreement, then turned my head and asked my mother softly: "Mom, can you help me see off the guests? I have something to talk to this gentleman about." A worried look appeared on her beautiful and kind face: "Chart..." "It's business." Maybe my eyes made her unable to refuse, "I assure you, I'm really fine." She kissed my forehead, bid us farewell, and greeted everyone with Simon and the others to leave through the pallium. It was just me and the music publisher in front of Marisa's tombstone, and the air began to smell of dampness before the rain.I knelt down and stroked the rough stone.The silent atmosphere surprised the people behind me: "My lord..." "Is the publication of "Giant" going well, Mr. Daisy?" I asked softly. His expression was obviously surprised: "...Well, it's okay, there are no major mistakes so far, we are safe. Thank you for your help, Lord Earl." "Oh, it's nothing." I waved my hand, "I think maybe a little cash won't help much, maybe I should put in a little more effort." He frowned: "I don't understand what you mean, Lord Earl." "You should know the leader of the underground resistance organization, right? Please tell him that Chartre de Nodois hopes to join." He looked at me with an expression of enlightenment, but shook his head: "I'm sorry, my lord, I don't know what to say, but you must understand that the underground resistance movement is not pure revenge, we are for France." "I know." It seems that he really thinks I am impulsive, "You should also understand that I am a thirty-year-old adult who has long since left the dream stage of romanticism. I understand what my actions represent. I will not Asking you to give me a gun and storm the SS branch! I just wish I could vent my grief and hatred in a useful place, for Marisa and for myself..." "Master Earl, we are very grateful for your help, but this is an extremely dangerous undertaking!" "My wife and children are lying here, do you still want to persuade me to stay away from danger?" "..." There was a moment of embarrassment on his face, then he put on his top hat and nodded lightly: "In this case, I will help you convey it, and I will give you news in a few days. However, Lord Earl, I hope you can think about it. For you, it is a sport where you put your life on a tightrope, and you will be crushed if you fall." I nodded and didn't speak.He sighed, turned and left. I looked at the garland on the tombstone and closed my eyes-my dear, I will fulfill my promise, please give me some time. At the end of 1940, the lively atmosphere before Christmas lingered in the cold air, and it seemed that order in society was unconsciously restoring.Although the shortage of supplies made us taste the most difficult winter ever, life must go on no matter what. The failure of the Wehrmacht to win the campaign against Great Britain took some of the arrogance with which they arrived in France.But their tempers began to turn violent, all gestures of goodwill faded away, and the common people grew weary of the gray uniforms of Germany.Hostilities increased, and the Germans were snubbed and occasionally sniped at in many places of service. Their response was to tighten their control over the occupied area. Like everyone else, I was watched by hostile eyes. The mail was often torn, and the secret police who checked the documents would come to my door every now and then. But none of this made me feel as angry and aggrieved as before, and I put my energy on more important things. I took over the management and operation of "Nightingale" again and expanded it; I invited back most of the actors and recruited "newcomers"; For the performances at the Grand Theater, three mobile performance groups were also arranged. They often performed in small towns near Vichy and were very popular, but the members changed a little every time they returned to Paris, for example, one or two less Personal or something. Of course Simon and Lafon knew what I was doing, but they couldn't say anything to stop me, and I begged them to keep it secret. "At least I don't want my mother to know." I said to them, "The less people who know about this kind of thing, the better. If it weren't because you are the shareholders of 'Nightingale', I even hope to hide it from you. But I'm already in I signed my name on all the documents of those performance groups, and you are safe." "Go to his file, you know I don't worry about this!" Simon looked at me worriedly, "Schart, you are taking a risk - as long as one person is arrested in the underground escape network, all participants will be exposed, you know what that means What are you wearing?" Jailed, shot, put in a concentration camp?Of course I know very well. Lafon looked a little annoyed at the indifferent expression on my face: "Chart, we won't be able to save you then!" I pulled out a faint smile: "Old friend, don't tell me you haven't done similar things." His bearded face froze for a moment: "Well, well, I admit that I delivered letters for them two or three times, but it's nothing at all. The Germans won't know. I'm careful!" "I'm just as careful." I patted him on the shoulder and turned my face to Simon, "Please trust me, I will protect myself. If I do something impulsive, Marisa will not forgive me. " So, what I do is only known to Mr. Dess, Simon, Lafon and several members of the resistance organization.I kept it from my mother and others, and even Pierre, my secretary, thought I was just bewildering myself with "much more work than before." But as time went by, more and more fugitives began to spread rumors: there was a person code-named "Swan" in the resistance organization, who was responsible for hiding some people who escaped from the Gestapo and sending them to the occupied area The junction with the puppet government, and escape from there; or use the opportunity of the show to send them to the Swiss border. In the spring of 1941, the tentacles of "Swan" extended to the field of assassination for the first time.After a bombing operation against a German military depot, he became a well-known figure in the underground resistance. And from that time on, I began to look forward to a match of equal strength with Major Portman.