Chapter 9 Primer

The fire inspector pointed to a stick of incense burning in the incense burner with his finger. "what is this?" "Opium." The girl replied expectantly. There was a sudden silence in the finance department.The inspector's cheeks flushed. "I'm not kidding. What is it?" "Indian incense. This smell is called opium." The girl glanced at her colleague and added embarrassingly, "It's just called that. Don't get me wrong! There is no opium in it!" "Whether you smoke opium or marijuana at home, it's up to you." The inspector spat on his finger seriously and extinguished the incense. "But your place... is full of paper!"

"I'm very careful," the girl said angrily. "The incense burner is specially made, have you seen it? All the incense ash fell into the ceramic base. The fragrance is very pleasant, we all like it..." Her voice was soft and calm, reassuring, like a grown-up talking to a child.The inspector was about to speak when an older woman, sitting alone behind one of the largest desks, interjected, facing the others. "Don't be angry, Verochka, but the inspector is right. The smell is too strong. It hurts my head all day and at night." “In India, the windows are probably always open,” another woman began to comment. "It doesn't matter if you smoke some incense. Besides, the sanitary conditions there are not good, there are cesspit everywhere, things rot very quickly, and the climate is like this, so certain measures must be taken. But can we use it here?"

A young girl about Vera's age secretly smiled, her eyes still on the computer screen. "Then... why didn't you guys say it earlier!" Vera's voice raised a lot, and it was clearly mixed with crying. "Why didn't you say it earlier?" "Don't want to embarrass you!" replied the older lady. Vera jumped up and rushed out into the corridor, her face in her hands, her heels tapping loudly on the floor.Then the bathroom door at the end of the corridor slammed shut. "You'll have to tell her sooner or later," the older lady said with a long breath. "Can't stand these candles anymore. Opium, jasmine, cinnamon..."

"Do you remember the pepper and cardamom?" the young girl asked aloud. "That's terrible!" "Don't laugh at your friends like that. You'd better go and see Vera, she looks really sad..." The girl got up quickly and ran out of the finance department. The inspector glanced suspiciously at the people present, and then at his colleague, a sturdy young man in a T-shirt and jeans.Standing next to the uniformed inspector, he looked too informal. "The people in your house are crazy," said the inspector sternly. "There are fire safety violations everywhere. Why haven't you been sealed yet?"

"I was surprised myself," agreed a man accompanying them. "Sometimes on the way to work, I think, what if the situation changes? This is the end of this mess? We have to act in accordance with the "Labor Law" and do not violate any regulations..." "Look at the fire grate on the second floor," the inspector interrupted, glancing at the schematic diagram of the fire protection facility. "Okay." The man opened the door for the inspector, then winked at the female colleagues in the room. The inspector's anger all died down in front of the fire grill.The thing looked good, brand new, painted red.Two fire extinguishers, a bucket filled with sand, an empty cone, a shovel, a fire hook rod and a chisel.

"Uh-uh, uh-uh-uh," the inspector muttered, looking into the bucket and then at the fill date of the fire extinguisher. "I didn't expect it, it's quite abiding by the rules." "We did something anyway," said the one accompanying them. "When I was in elementary school, there was something like this hanging on the school wall." The inspector spread out the schematic diagram and thought for a while. "We also have to look at...your programmers." "Let's go!" The man suddenly became energetic. "They're up there, please follow me..."

He walked to the stairs, stopped, and stood aside, letting the inspector go up first.Then he turned his head and glanced at the fire grill, which faded and disappeared into thin air.Something hit the floor with a slight thud.The man smiled. When he came to the programmer's workplace, the inspector was angry again.There were programmers (two girls and a guy) smoking recklessly, and the computer's various cables were tangled up in a mess (the inspector even got under the table and struggled to check the computer's grounding).A quarter of an hour later, the inspector returned to the first floor.He went into the room with the strange "Switcher on Duty" sign and spread a pen and paper on the table.The young man who accompanied him in the inspection sat across from him with a smile on his face, wanting to see how the inspector filled out the records.

"What kind of strange sign is hanging on your door?" the inspector asked while busy. "'Switcher on duty'? Well, it's the handyman. Security guards, sewer repairs, pizza and drinking water—all staff have to do, similar to floor management and general affairs officers. Pretty boring Work. We take turns doing it." "What the hell are you guys doing?" "Is this issue also within the purview of the fire brigade?" The man thought for a while. "Well...we protect Moscow from evil forces." "Are you kidding me?" The inspector gave the "switcher on duty" a hard look.

"real." An elderly man with an oriental face entered the room without knocking.The man on duty stood up quickly when he saw him. "Well, how are you doing here?" asked the man who had just entered. "There is a fire extinguisher in the finance department, there is one in the bathroom, and there are two in the fire grate on the second floor," the attendant on duty replied confidently. "Everything is all right, Boris Ignatievich." The inspector's face turned pale. "Lars, we don't have fire grilles on the second floor," Boris Ignatievich said.

"I created an illusion," Russ replied triumphantly. "Very realistic." Boris Ignatievich nodded: "Okay. But you didn't notice two more 'bugs' in the programmer's room. I guess it's not the first time our guest is both a fire inspector and a spy?" "You said..." The inspector wanted to quibble, but stopped. "It's embarrassing for you to be a professional spy," said Boris Ignatievich. "You feel dirty! You used to be an honest man . . . Remember? You're not just here for the money, you're full of ambition, and you want to do something big..."

The inspector couldn't help nodding his head and weeping. "Do you remember joining the Young Pioneers?" Russ asked energetically. "You stand in the middle of the team, thinking in your head that you will contribute all your strength to the victory of the cause of communism. The counselor will tie a red scarf on you, and her tight chest will almost touch you..." "Lars," Boris Ignatievich called coldly. "I just don't understand how you became the Lightbringer." "I was in a good mood that day," Russ admitted. "I had a dream, dreaming that I was still very young, riding on a wooden horse..." "Lars!" Boris Ignatievich called again. The watchman kept his mouth shut. In the silence, only the choking sound of the fire inspector was heard. "I... I said it all... I went to the Shoupea Railway to avoid alimony..." "Forget about the BAM," said Boris Ignatievich softly. "Tell me who told you to bug our office."

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