Chapter 21 2. Difficult to know the true face of mad life

Ever since Dongfang Shuo teased the dwarf that time, Liu Che has looked at Dongfang Shuo with admiration.How should I put it, Dongfang Shuo is very cunning, funny, and slippery.He can be tricky and tricky, it is because he has wisdom.Liu Che likes humor, and prefers witty humor.From then on, he often called Dongfang Shuo to drink together.Dongfang Shuo's task was to make the emperor happy every time he drank. Sima Qian said that Liu Che and Dongfang Shuo drank so much wine that they never felt unhappy.When Liu Che is happy, he will give rewards at will.Dongfang Shuo would never refuse the emperor's reward.Instead of refusing, you can rub as much as you can.

For example, Liu Che invited him to dinner.Enough food and drink, enough jokes.Then, Dongfang Shuo would tell Liu Che that it's time for me to go, and let me pack the rest of the meat and go home. It seems rare for a big man who is two meters tall to pack a bag.Since you like to take this cheap, then hit it.Dongfang Shuo is not shy, second is unambiguous, and third never hesitates.Every time I pack, I just wrap the clothes in the big meat and leave, never looking back, and not insignificant. Frank and free, as if there is no one.I will not regret it after all the clothes and belts are wrapped up, and the clothes will be filthy because of the meat.How many people in the world can reach this level?

Eating meat and packing it is a trivial matter to the emperor.In addition, Liu Che often gave Dongfang Shuo money and silk.Reward money, in today's words, is called extra money. At that time, there were no funds, no stocks, and no wealth management companies.Although it is said that Dongfang Shuo has a good way to make money, he has no plans to reinvest the extra money.Instead, he turned around, bowed his head and slipped away, and took the extra money and ran to pick up girls on Chang'an Street. For Dongfang Shuo, there are rules for packing, ways to make money, and requirements for picking up girls.Chang'an girl, no matter how she looks, no matter how virtuous she is, as long as she is willing to play with him, no matter whether you love him or not, you can't live a day without him, he will tell you very clearly that you are with me The time is only one year.

Why is it a year?Is it too expensive to have a mistress like this?The cost is high, it doesn't matter.As long as I like it.Isn't it just money, Liu Che is my bank, and dirty jokes and riddles are my password.How much you want to take is a matter of patting your head. Dongfang Shuo packed his meals, took care of his mistress, and finally earned a reputation as an entertainment star.If there were Yu Ji at that time, Dongfang Shuo would be on the headlines of gossip news every day.For entertainment, as long as one or two women who were abandoned by Dongfang Shuo were bribed, they could easily make up a "Story that Dongfang Shuo and I Have to Tell" or "The Happy Past of Dongfang Shuo and Me".

It is said that people are afraid of being famous, and pigs are afraid of being strong.I think this is only half true.Pigs are afraid of being strong, of course.Because when they are strong, they will be pulled out and slaughtered.But it seems untrue that people are afraid of being famous.Look at the Sina blog, how many so-called beautiful writers, in order to become famous, either strip off their clothes to sell meat, or clamor to become the mistress of a certain celebrity.Of course, this is all a gimmick. Dongfang Shuo knew that in an orthodox society, it would be easy to get the limelight if he was being funny.Everyone doesn't want to take the limelight by themselves, but everyone wants others to take the limelight.Because everyone wants to watch other people's entertainment news.Others don't want to be in the limelight, but Dongfang Shuo enjoys it.

Because, in this way, he can dominate the world and be proud of the world. Therefore, Dongfang Shuo, who became the headline of gossip news every day after dinner in Chang'an, was soon hailed as a lunatic.Half of this lunatic is derogatory.Not a lunatic, or at least half a lunatic. Indeed, Dongfang Shuo knows the past and the present, and he is still a civil servant, so he should at least pay attention to his image.Besides, he doesn't look like he's down in his studies. If you don't understand, read slowly.Anyway, Dongfang Shuo didn't care about this day or two.Because, his task is to be crazy every day, every month, and every year.This disease, look up Chang'an, only one person can understand him.

This person, of course, is Liu Che. At that time, the official Lang next to Liu Che said that Dongfang Shuo was crazy every day.However, Liu Che smiled, and he smoothed things over for Dongfang Shuo like this: If Dongfang Shuo is not funny, which one of you can compare to him? To be honest, Liu Che's evaluation is pertinent.If Dongfang Shuo was serious, neatly dressed all day long, serious about his work, and went to and from get off work on time, then those officials around Liu Che would have lowered their heads and called him "my lord" long ago. Would they be able to gossip about him like today?

The officials didn't know why Liu Che tolerated Dongfang Shuo so much.In fact, it is not difficult at all to explore this question. In Liu Che's view, the imperial palace is like a table of dishes. There are main dishes, staple foods and fruits on the table.The main course is a must, and the staple food and fruit are stomach-solving.If you eat the main course every day without appetizers on the table, can you survive this day? Dongfang Shuo likes to pack, so let him go.If you love having a mistress, let him go.However, there is a bottom line, each other must stick to it.That is, women can play, but the emperor cannot.As long as you don't play with my emperor, other things will always be trivial.

Only two people know this bottom line: Liu Che knows, and Dongfang Shuo knows. One day, Dongfang Shuo walked through the palace.Yilang Guan walked up to him and started chatting with him, which unknowingly involved Dongfang Shuo's entertainment news.Lang Guan asked Dongfang Shuo: Sir, do you know that people outside are talking about you? Dongfang Shuo squinted and smiled: I don't know. Lang Guan said: "They all said that you are crazy, sir." Dongfang Shuo smiled. The world laughed at me for being too crazy, and I laughed at the world for not being able to understand.Dongfang Shuo finally said something heartfelt to this Langguan: People in ancient times ran to the deep mountains and old forests to escape the world; but like me, Dongfang Shuo, they escaped the world in the court.As the saying goes, Dayin is also!

The word "Dayin" has since become the top-secret key to interpret Dongfang Shuo's madness.Dongfang Shuo himself has wine songs as proof: Lu sinks into the vulgar, and hides from the world at the Golden Horse Gate.You can hide your whole body in the palace, why bother in the deep mountains, under the wormwood hut. Observe carefully: the alternative Dongfang Shuo is not a real Dongfang Shuo.Because, what hides a butterfly is often an ugly chrysalis.People who misunderstand Dongfang Shuo are often because of his cynical way of life. At that time, apart from hunting, guessing riddles was also one of Liu Che's favorite pastimes.One day, Liu Che played guessing games with a digital alchemy master.Liu Che buckled a gecko upside down and asked these so-called alchemists who communicate with ghosts and gods to guess, and if they guess correctly, they will be rewarded.Unfortunately, no one can guess.

The emperor's reward is really hard to get.People can guess what is contained in the basin, unless it is possessed by gods and ghosts, or it is the reincarnation of Monkey King.However, Dongfang Shuo came. He said to Liu Che with great interest: I have studied "Yi", let me make a divination first, and then guess. Divination, of course, is a pretense.The advantage of the pretense is that if the guess is wrong, Dongfang Shuo can say that he is inaccurate in divination, regardless of whether there is water in his head.After all, I have taken a divination.Then, I explained according to the hexagram: this is either a gecko or a lizard. Sure enough, I guessed right. If Ban Gu hadn't written this matter down, it would be unbelievable.On what basis did Dongfang Shuo judge that it was a gecko?Excluding the possibility of cheating, I can only marvel, his head is indeed extraordinary. As soon as the legend of Dongfang Shuo was guessed, it was immediately spread throughout the palace.So, someone was jealous.This person, who has a surname but does not leave his name, is known as Guo Sheren. After all, Guo Sheren was also a colleague of Dongfang Shuo.Being funny and funny is also his old profession.Moreover, he became famous earlier than Dongfang Shuo.Now, Dongfang Shuo appeared suddenly, and seemed to have the tendency to steal his job. Of course, he felt very uncomfortable. There is a person called Guo Sheren here, which is a polite way to call him.If you are not polite, you can call him a champion.The so-called advocating excellence, in ancient times, was called an entertainer who entertained people with music, singing, dancing or acrobatics.Guo Sheren belongs to the latter group, and relies on acrobatics to make a living.Such identities, in today's terms, are like parasites.If you compare him with those disciples, it's a lot worse. Hearing that Dongfang Shuo guessed the gecko right, Guo Sheren said that he didn't believe in evil.He said to Liu Che like this: Dongfang Shuo is so crazy, he just guessed it by luck.Let me test him to see if he can still guess.If you guess right, please hit me with a hundred sticks; if you don't guess right, I'm sorry, but your Majesty's silk will be given to me. Liu Che thought about it, and felt that what Guo Sheren said made a lot of sense.So Dongfang Shuo was summoned to let Guo Sheren take the test. The game scene is very lively, but of course it is also very boring.Guo She's skills are not as good as others, and Dongfang Shuo guessed it right, and he was beaten with a hundred sticks, making him scream. anyway.Dongfang Shuo is different, but he also has a real side. At that time, Dongfang Shuo heard that Liu Che was going to expand Shanglin Garden, so he took the initiative to stand up and stop it.We know that with just one recruiting strategy, Dongfang Shuo can make Liu Che only read his articles for two months except for eating and drinking.Like Liu Che, who disregarded the national conditions and wasted money and people for his own desires, Dongfang Shuo could fully use his strengths and write a policy of persuasion, which would never stop Liu Che for two or three months. This time, Dongfang Shuo didn't play tricks.Because it is a very serious matter for the emperor to expand the hunting grounds by enclosing the land.Therefore, uncharacteristically, he solemnly stated the reasons for his opposition.The words are neither long nor short.Summarized in a few words, the meaning is roughly as follows: Zhongnan Mountain is rich in all kinds of wild animals and crops, which are the dependence of the people's life and one of the sources of national tax revenue.It doesn't make sense for His Majesty to take it for himself to satisfy his personal desires. Liu Che nodded and smiled.Then, he was promoted to the official position of Dongfang Shuo and rewarded him with a hundred catties of gold. After conferring the reward, Liu Che turned his head and said to Wuqiu Shouwang, who was in charge of Shanglinyuan, "For the matter of Shanglinyuan, just follow your plan." Dongfang Shuo was speechless. He finally understood that in Liu Che's eyes, he would always be a clown.The so-called persuasion, in the ears of others, is pure fart.