Chapter 9 Chapter Eight: The Stolen Fairy Tale

On July 3, 1994, all the fairy tales Li Li had read in her life were brutally smashed to pieces. Liu Qianren said: "Li Li, this is to pay off your mother's debt." Then he took her and tore her body apart without mercy.Li Li's lip was broken, and at the most painful moment, she held back the scream that rushed to her mouth, and bit her lower lip tightly with her teeth.Her blank eyes passed over Liu Qianren, and the two teams of Argentina and Romania, which were being broadcast, were fighting hard to advance in the dazzling sun.The ears automatically muted the sound, and Li Li couldn't hear anything.

In the early morning, Liu Qianren completed the role he had played in Li Li's life from the very beginning.He knew rape was a crime, but he couldn't help it.He yearns for her, this "sister" who is neither beautiful nor physically good tortures Liu Qianren's soul every day.Gaining means losing at the same time, Li Li's lips flowed painful blood, and he tasted the taste of despair.There was only one night in his life when his rationality lost control, and he was ruled by guilt for the rest of his life. He withdrew from her body, the beautiful face under the messy hair was pale, Liu Qianren looked at the silent Li Li: She got up slowly, straightened her clothes, and walked to the bathroom.

"Liu Qianren, you should thank your father for paying off the debt for you." Li Li said standing at the door of the bathroom, her voice was clear and clear, and she didn't look back. His slender, white fingers inserted into the hair, and tightly grasped the soft hair, as if this action could express his regret.He couldn't explain what happened to the loss of control just now. When he suddenly realized that he and her were alone in the room, his desire came overwhelming. Li Li soaked herself in the cold water, she smelled the disgusting smell of blood, she didn't know whether it came from her body or her heart.Leaning her upper body out of the bathtub, she lay on the edge of the toilet and retched again and again.

A seventeen-year-old girl lost her virginity, but she could only let the man who hurt her go unpunished.Liu Zhixian turned Li Li's fatherly love into a shackle, and she couldn't send his own son to prison. Li Li thought of Pei Shangxuan who was imprisoned in the juvenile education center for rape, and a mocking smile appeared on his face.Life is absurd, and things you take for granted often have unexpected endings. The dry eye sockets were wet, and tears rushed out, rushing wantonly on the face.Li Li wept silently, does the dirty self still have the right to continue to like Pei Shangxuan?

Half an hour later, she opened the bathroom door, and Liu Qianren appeared at the door.Li Li is not afraid of him anymore, anyway, she has experienced the worst. "I'm sorry." He apologized quietly.With her face half down, she couldn't see his expression, but she wasn't interested in knowing it either. "I won't tell you, because I don't want to make uncle sad." Li Li bypassed Liu Qianren, the TV was still on, and the first half between Argentina and Romania was over. Extraordinary calm, and indifference.Liu Qianren turned around and grabbed Li Li's arm. The muscles where her fingertips touched were obviously tense. She raised her head and looked up at Qianren with cold eyes.

There was a kind of disheartened determination in her eyes, which hurt him, and Qian Ren let go of her hand in a hurry.Many years later, Liu Qianren understood that Li Li's indifference was because she no longer cared. He not only took away her virginity, but also destroyed her long-standing pillar. Li Li's beautiful vision of love ended on July 3, 1994. Since then, she has been entangled in the same nightmare repeatedly: she has lost her innocence and her qualifications as a lover. Argentina lost 2:3 to Romania, and Li Li also lost something very important. Li Li's exam results showed two extremes. On July 2nd, she got two A's, and the next three were only C's.On the day of receiving the report card, the homeroom teacher had a special talk with Li Li. For two whole years, her grades were ranked in the 70th place in the grade, which was neither good nor too bad. According to normal performance, she would take five subjects in the exam. A should be fine.

Regarding the head teacher's question, Li Li vaguely used "being unwell" as an excuse.Li Li hoped that what happened in the early morning of July 3rd would pass away in silence. She couldn't do anything to Liu Qianren. Liu Qianren stayed away from her life, and he left home to return to the school dormitory the next day.Then Liu Zhixian and Li Meiqing returned from their travels, and the house returned to its usual state. Only those involved know that something has changed. She couldn't sleep well, and was awakened by nightmares from time to time.Since then, Li Li has a slight obsession with cleanliness, and it takes a long time to take a bath, as if she can't get it clean no matter how much she washes. For this reason, Li Meiqing always criticizes her for wasting water.

She listened indifferently, with inevitable resentment towards her mother.Li Li subconsciously blamed Li Meiqing's marriage with Liu Zhixian for what happened to her, and she unfortunately became a victim. After the summer vacation, Li Li became a senior high school student, and she took physics as her elective.There are relatively few girls in the physics class. For the first time in Li Li's life, she enjoyed special care from boys, such as cleaning and so on. Finally, she and Li Jun could stand by and watch. Li Li's life is getting busy, like Liu Qianren's copy two years ago, there are endless test papers every day.Occasionally she went back to visit her grandma, and would go through the four alleys to visit Pei Shangxuan's parents and inquire about his recent situation.

In fragmentary fragments, the young man who lost his freedom is undergoing transformation.In the past, he was young and impetuous, and there was no day when he could calm down and think about his future, but now he has plenty of time to think about it. Li Li heard that Pei Shangxuan was studying high school by himself, so he entrusted his parents to bring the books to him.Liu Zhixian learned that she was majoring in physics, so he deliberately left the reference books that Liu Qianren had not disposed of for Li Li to use.She didn't turn over a single page, she sorted it out and gave it to Pei Shangxuan.

She hated Liu Qianren, the man who raped her, from the bottom of her heart.Just that one time is enough to make Li Li hate him for the rest of his life. Liu Qianren was a sophomore in college, and he seldom went home. Liu Zhixian always had to call the phone several times to remind him, and then he came back as if he had done him a big favor.When they met, Li Li and Liu Qianren remained calm, their eyes almost staggered. He looked like he had a girlfriend, and occasionally a girl would call him at home.Li Li answered the phone twice, the other party's voice was sweet, with an accent further south than Shanghai.

She replied "wait a moment", put down the receiver and knocked on Liu Qianren's door.Seeing her, he looked a little surprised, as if a person who had been sentenced to death had suddenly been pardoned. But Li Li did not forgive Liu Qianren.She backed away, turned her head coldly towards the living room to signal him to answer the phone, and then left in front of him. Li Li always turned her back to Liu Qianren, so she couldn't see his sad eyes.By the time she found out, there was already a long distance between them. On January 31, 1995, the first day of the Lunar New Year, Li Li went back to her grandmother's house to celebrate the New Year.Li Li had just passed her eighteenth birthday, and when she went to measure her height that day, her head finally crossed the 1.55 meter mark, which became her most satisfying birthday present. She was concerned about her height and weight, but she had no choice but to keep growing horizontally.Every time the dean holds a grade meeting, he repeatedly emphasizes that "if you lose twenty pounds, you will definitely be able to enter a key university", Li Li secretly thinks that based on this calculation, she must be a failure. Li Jun and she have the same troubles. The two of them analyzed their own physiques outside of their studies, and they are almost the type of people who can gain weight by drinking water.Li Jun completely gave up the idea of ​​losing weight, his hobby of snacks intensified, and his waistline became more and more spectacular.The boys in the class always lamented that all the beauties are concentrated in the liberal arts class, Li Li laughed it off. She remembered that her little uncle said that if you can't be a beauty, you have to be a smart girl.She has been trying to be smart since she was a child, but she is still not as good as a pretty girl with a soft smile. Yan Liming opened branches and leaves for Li's family and gave birth to a fat boy.Li Li likes babies, and stubbornly believes that a newborn child who knows nothing is the cleanest soul in the world.When they have self-awareness and grow up day by day, the dust of reality will inevitably contaminate their hearts. Desire is actually a beast raised by human beings. She hugged her cousin who was seventeen years younger than herself, and when she looked back, she found that Li Guoqiang was much haggard, and inexplicably remembered the time when she walked home with her little uncle four years ago.When the child in his arms turned fourteen and he reached the age of his little uncle that year, Li Li suddenly had a sore nose. Li Meiqing, who helped Liu Zhixian cook in the kitchen, called her daughter over and asked her to buy cooking wine.It was raining lightly outside, Li Li went out holding an umbrella. She walked past Pei Shangxuan's house and looked at the lights in the room through the kitchen window.It was a long time ago when she saw Pei Shangxuan for the last time, it seemed as if she had passed this life. She cut off contact with Han Yichen. The junior high school classmates had a gathering on National Day in the first year of high school, and several people were absent, including Pei Shangxuan and Han Yichen.The gossip spread fast, and everyone in the meeting seemed to know the inside story, which made Li Li feel bored, and she always pretended to be confused and said she didn't know about the hidden questions. Li Li stood at the door of Pei Shangxuan's house on the evening of the first day of the new year. She missed this idiot very much.The rain fell silently, hitting the umbrella with a strange onomatopoeic sound. She saw the door open and a tall figure blocked the light behind her.The well-defined face of the boy standing against the backlight often appeared in front of her eyes. "Idiot!" Li Li bit her lip, raised her hand on tiptoe and slapped his flat-cut hair three times, "Newly shaved, you need to slap three times." She always did this in the past, the difference is that he When she grows taller, she has to tiptoe to touch it. "Li Li, you're getting fat." Pei Shangxuan stared at the girl in front of him with deep and dark eyes, and tried his best to tease with the usual tone before parting.But he couldn't restrain his excitement, he suddenly raised his arms to embrace her, he didn't care whether passers-by would see this misleading scene, he hugged Li Li tightly. During the days when he lost his freedom, Pei Shangxuan believed that his best friend in this life was Li Li.She kept tugging at the cord of their friendship, too stubborn to let go, no matter how many times he said no.He received the reference book from Li Lituo's parents, learned the section on action and reaction, and vaguely felt that the situation between himself and Li Li was the same.No matter which side exerts force, both sides cannot escape being affected.So he picked up the past that he wanted to give up, together with the people from the past. "You are the fool." He hooked Li Li's neck and lowered his head, looking her in the eye. "If you didn't refuse to forget me life and death, my life would be much easier." Li Li pushed his elbow hard into his chest, pouted angrily: "Pei Shangxuan, I'm so busy, who has time to miss you." "Really? Did those reference books fall from the sky?" Pei Shangxuan smiled, with a happy expression on his handsome face.Li Li remembered that the books given to him were all Liu Qianren's, and suddenly lost the courage to continue laughing in front of him.She was no longer the pure and flawless girl when she parted from him. "Cut, anyway, I can't finish so many books." She tried her best to show a perfect smirk, "I'm going to the supermarket behind to buy things, and I'll come to you when I'm free." "Well, I'm also coming down to fetch wine for dad." Pei Shangxuan pinched her face and hopped to tell her to lose weight. Frolicking as they did before parting, yelling "Hurry up, don't come here again" relentlessly, and then parted ways.Pei Shangxuan looked at Li Li's back and put away his smile, with a sad expression.They pretended to have a happy reunion, avoiding talking about why they separated for two years, but in fact they both cared about each other. Pei Shangxuan was given a great credit for his courageous efforts to save a classmate who fell into the water, and because of his consistent good performance, he was released from the juvenile education center early.He knew from his parents that Li Li had moved to his stepfather's house, and he guessed that she must be very busy in the third grade, so he never went to Fuxing Middle School to find her. There is another person that Pei Shangxuan has deliberately forgotten is already a third year in high school.Once he passed the gate of Hongkou Middle School, and he seemed to catch a glimpse of a girl who looked a lot like Han Yichen among the crowd returning home from school.Pei Shangxuan walked across the road, closed his eyes and turned to leave. He paid a heavy price for Han Yichen, and branded him a crime that could not be washed away for the rest of his life.For a long time, Han Yichen's pale face inadvertently appeared in Pei Shangxuan's mind.He doesn't hate her, it's just that he doesn't want to be reconciled. They are together because they are in love with each other. It's not an unbearable relationship in the adults' mouth at all. Han Yichen's defense was weak and weak, and he obediently shut up after being yelled at by his father.She secretly raised her eyes to look at him, her eyes apologetic, her lips trembling. Thinking of it at first, his hands were covered with cold sweat.The memory of physical pleasure has long been replaced by the subsequent panic and despair, so that Pei Shangxuan can't always remember what it was like to have sex for the first time.Later, he slept with many women, but he couldn't get back that memory no matter what. He didn't want to see Han Yichen again, no matter what the person's reasons were, some things would never be undone.He got her virginity, punished with two years of freedom and a lifetime of stains, and he owed her nothing. Several years later, Pei Shangxuan and Han Yichen met at the busiest intersection in Shanghai.He was wearing a black overcoat, so handsome that it took people's breath away; she was wearing a white down jacket, and she was as beautiful as a flower.They passed each other in the middle of the road, speechless. The past will never come back. In 2005, Pei Shangxuan sat beside Li Li and looked up at the birds flying over the city.One year, they were like two idiots switching cars to see the migratory birds passing through Shanghai. He found it unbelievable that the group of passers-by who could not name the species spread their white wings and glided gracefully. "The migration of migratory birds is for a promise." Li Li leaned on his shoulder and closed his eyes wearily.He turned his head to look at her, as if looking at an elf returning from flying thousands of kilometers. Pei Shangxuan bought a disc——.He turned on the DVD player in the silent midnight, and there was a thick stack of locked diaries on the coffee table. “The migration has only one single purpose: Survival. For them, it is a promise, the promise for return.” Stereo surround sound, echoing this sentence in all directions. He covered his face with his hands, and wailed like a wounded beast.She was always by his side, no matter how far he was going, habit turned into indifference.Pei Shangxuan finally understood Li Li's fifteen years of waiting, but now she is ready to take it back. Pei Shangxuan was waiting for Li Li to leave school at the gate of Fuxing Middle School, his appearance caught people's attention.Tall and fit, with a handsome face, he has the potential to be regarded as a "handsome guy". Coupled with his naturally ruffian temperament, he seduces girls who usually follow the rules and concentrate on studying hard. At first, Li Li didn't pay attention to the young man at the school gate, arguing with the male student next to him about a certain issue about the current and magnetic field, his left and right hands alternately simulated the direction of the current passing through the magnetic field, until Li Jun pulled his sleeve desperately and turned around to ask What happened. "Handsome guy, handsome guy!" Li Jun was very excited, pointing his fat finger in the direction of the school gate. She raised her head and squinted to look at the front, the blurred figure, unable to see the face clearly. "Li Li!" Seeing her, Pei Shangxuan naturally raised his hand to greet her, showing a smile.Just now he looked cool with a serious face, but now he has a sunny face, like the Annunciation Angel on a church mural. Li Jun opened his mouth wide and looked at Pei Shangxuan and then at Li Li. He really couldn't associate the two people with so much difference in appearance.It is natural for a handsome guy to be accompanied by a beautiful woman, since when did the ugly duckling have a place?Li Jun, who is most interested in gossip outside of reading, is puzzled.Li Li was also quite surprised, she didn't expect Pei Shangxuan to come to her suddenly. "Are you free today? My mother said thank you for letting you come to my house for dinner." He greeted Li Jun with a smile, "Hi, I'm Li Li's junior high school classmate." "Li Jun, Li Li's deskmate." After recovering from the state of surprise, she introduced herself generously. "Talk slowly, I'll leave first." Before leaving, Li Jun winked at Li Li ambiguously. She understood the subtext of her deskmate, which meant to let herself take advantage of the opportunity.Li Li smiled wryly in her heart, her relationship with Pei Shangxuan had nothing to do with romance. They are good friends, best friends. Pei Shangxuan was slightly taken aback when he heard the word "same table", the scene of him and Li Li sitting at the same table appeared in front of his eyes, but it was already a few years ago.Not understanding why he lost his mind, Li Li raised his hand and shook it back and forth in front of his eyes, teasing: "Which beauty did you see?" He came back to his senses, coughed lightly to cover up his embarrassment, and mocked her in a joking tone: "Don't worry, I'm not looking at you." No matter how fast time passes, some things still will not change, for example, there is no ordinary her in his eyes. Li Li smiled lightly and changed the subject. She went to Pei Shangxuan's house, his parents were busy cooking in the kitchen.Li Li asked politely if he wanted to help, but before he could answer, he was dragged upstairs. "You are a distinguished guest, so my parents are reluctant to let you be smoked." He pinched her face, pretending to be indignant: "Sometimes I'm really jealous, probably you are their daughter." "Who made you not as smart as I am." She cheerfully retorted, lifting her chin triumphantly. Pei Shangxuan poured her a glass of water, went back to his room, took out three reference books, and handed them to Li Li. "I've finished reading these books, and I'll return them to you." She didn't reach out, this is Liu Qianren's book, she doesn't want to go back.Seeing that she didn't answer, he put the book on the coffee table, and suddenly burst into laughter. "What are you doing?" Li Li asked in an annoyed voice after being terrified by his laughter. "You're so old, but you still like Kamiao?" Pei Shangxuan said without thinking, seeing her bewildered face, he kindly solved the mystery.Opening the book, he casually flipped to a page with a piece of paper in it, which was an engraved paper of the golden holy cloth of Aquarius. "It's in almost every book, so you're free." He teased. Li Li felt as if struck by lightning, looking at the carefully carved golden holy garment with complicated emotions.The paper carver was very careful, and carefully controlled the strength of each knife, especially the joints of the lines were dug quite cleanly. "You clumsy girl, your level has improved a lot." Pei Shangxuan, who didn't know it, was still praising Li Li. Li Li picked up another book, and as expected, she saw another Aquarius Cloth.The person who carved these was Liu Qianren, the boy who crumpled up the carved paper that Pei Shangxuan gave him three years ago with a sneer. She remembered his contemptuous expression, and that frantic look in his eyes that seemed to kill her that night, Li Li shuddered. "What's wrong?" Pei Shangxuan noticed her unusual silence and asked with concern. She moved her lips but couldn't make a sound.Li Li shook her head mournfully, with a sad expression.He was even more suspicious, but he couldn't think of Li Li's experience at all.Not only did she lose her virginity, what was even worse was that she had to endure it, and the psychological shadow brought about by forbearance. Her pain is unspeakable. She didn't speak, and stared at him for a long time, which made him uncomfortable.Pei Shangxuan knew that he was handsome, and the rate of turning heads when he got a girl walking on the street was not 100 but at least 95, and his focused and fiery gaze could not attract his attention.That afternoon he stood at the gate of Fuxing Middle School, and the girls who came and went looked at him furtively or blatantly, but he was indifferent.But Li Li's eyes were different, there was a sad farewell in her eyes.He panicked immediately, staring at Li Li's eyes, stubbornly trying to figure out why her eyes were so bleak. The truth he didn't know was that on this day, Li Li decided to keep the secret of liking him forever.From then on, liking Pei Shangxuan was only her business. She foolishly liked him for many years.Li Li is a persistent person, once he likes it, it is difficult to change.Just like her Argentina, from 1990 to 2002, Argentina always left the World Cup field lonely, but she still remained infatuated. If you can give up easily, it is not true love. "Li Li..." He called her name, but couldn't find the words to continue. Li Li lowered her head, her bangs covered her forehead, she looked like she was devoutly worshiping Buddha in a temple, watching her nose with her eyes and her heart with her nose. "Pei Shangxuan, it would be great if I could go back to junior high school." Li Li, who has always been calm and rational, said something that was most unlikely to be realized, and after finishing speaking, she laughed softly.She covered her mouth with her hand, and giggled from the edge of her palm. Father Pei brought the dishes, Li Li got up to help, but they didn't talk any more. After dinner, Pei Shangxuan sent Li Li to the station.A long road was illuminated by the bleak moonlight, and the bare branches of the trees beside the road cast strange shadows, and they walked on these strange shadows. The car drove past them, roaring away.Li Li looked up at the boy beside her who was a head taller than herself, and sighed silently.He held her hand as before, and put it in his pocket to keep warm. Pei Shangxuan treats Li Li well, but he doesn't like her.Li Li often asked herself: If a man treats you as a brother, is it a woman's luck or misfortune? When we got to the platform, many people were waiting for the train.Li Li pulled out her hand and put it to her mouth to breathe for warmth, while stomping her feet as if trying to shake off the chill. "Which university do you want to go to?" Pei Shangxuan asked casually. "Tsinghua University." Li Li shrugged her shoulders indifferently, "Nankai University, or Nanjing University, I want to study abroad." She made up her mind early in the morning that she would be the first choice to apply for foreign universities, leave Shanghai, and stay away from Liu Qianren completely. "It's so far away." He murmured to himself, with a trace of loneliness in his voice.Before Li Li said "It would be nice if I could go back to junior high school", he didn't pay much attention to it, now that after graduating from junior high school, the shadow of parting always hangs over the sky.He said something softly, but Li Li didn't hear clearly. "What did you say?" she asked aloud. When her car came, Pei Shangxuan pushed her forward.Under the force of the passengers behind, Li Li was squeezed into the car. "Li Li, don't go that far!" He stood under the car and shouted with all his strength.In front of him was her, standing on the other side across the vast sea, waving at him and turning away.He remembered the eyes he saw before eating, and suddenly realized. She heard it.The passengers who squeezed the front door blocked the short Li Li, and Pei Shangxuan couldn't see her. Half a year later, Li Li received the admission letter from the English Department of Shanghai International Studies University.