Chapter 39 four

The princess's long hair was a bit messy on the white pillow, and her face was sunk in the soft pillow, making her look even thinner.The illness made her no longer look like a dignified woman of twenty-five, she was suddenly my age, a girl of fourteen. She tried to pull Rashaharu's finger with her fingers, signaling that she had something to say.There was a strange flame in Shaharu's eyes. He sat down and bent his head on the princess's chest again. "Shaharu." The princess' voice was weak and clear. "I'm here, I'm here." The emotions that Shaharu had been controlling suddenly poured out like a flood, "I'm sorry, Oela, I'm really sorry! That day, I refused to enter the house, refused to drink Cecia The honey tea I prepared, I left Samarkand suddenly without saying goodbye to you, I knew I shouldn't but I did it anyway. I did it, I wanted to prove that I don't care about you, I can get you out I cut it off from my life, so I punish myself by hurting you! I want to forget, I want to start again, I tried, I really tried, but I...you know how I survived these two years Is it? I miss you every day, and sometimes I feel like I’m about to suffocate and go crazy. I’m afraid of seeing you, I’m afraid of your eyes, I’m afraid of your kindness to me, but I miss you so much, if you I'd rather die if I can't see you. I'm really crazy, what should I do? Oela, tell me, what should I do?"

The princess stroked his hair, as she used to do when he was a child. "Shaharu, listen to me." "I am listening." "I never thought there was anything wrong with what you did. In my heart, you have always been a very kind and generous boy. I love you, Shahru, and you know it." "I know, but I..." "Shaharu, there is one thing I can't keep from you." "you say." "I might," the princess's voice paused for a moment, "I might..." "Possibly what?" "Die at any time." "No!" Shah Ru raised his head, almost screaming.His face turned pale, but his eyes turned red, and his fright made him look like a desperate beast under persecution.

The princess forced herself to open her eyes: "Don't be like this, Shaharu, you don't have to worry, I won't leave you so soon, I still have one wish unfulfilled." Shaharu murmured: "Wish..." "Yes, a wish. Shah Ruh, will you help me achieve it?" "I am willing. I will help you achieve any wish of yours, even if it costs me my life." "You are very kind, thank you." "Tell me, what is your wish?" "I like children. Like all Mongolian women, children are my life. Unfortunately, I can't have children myself. You and the concubine can give birth to a child for me. You can have many, many children. Take your The first child was entrusted to me to raise, and with him by my side, my life will last longer."

Shaharu stared blankly at the princess. The princess took his hand, and knowing that he would not refuse her, she was in no hurry to hear his answer. Shaharu buried his face in the princess's chest again, and after a long time, he said dreamily: "Okay, I will hand over the child to you. You promise me that you must live. Definitely!" "I promise." They made promises to each other.The princess was relieved, she smiled at Shaharu, and after a while, she fell asleep like a baby. She was really tired, and the disease took too much energy from her. I pulled Rashaharu's arm: "Shaharu, go to my bedroom and lie down for a while, I will guard the princess. She can't sleep well when you are here."

Shah Ru's soul disappeared, he became a puppet, let me drag him to my bedroom.I spread out the pink quilt for him, and suddenly, he hugged me from behind me. His body hardened, and he used his hardness against my softness.Soon, he turned me around, pressed his hot face to mine, and moved his cold lips to mine. He greedily kissed my lips as if he was about to say goodbye forever, sucking the tip of my tongue.His eyes are confused, the person he is hugging is not me. I don't move.His heart was beating wildly in his chest, and his powerful arms were trembling behind my back.A rose bud opened in an instant, and every part of my body became extremely moist, my eyes, my lips, my hands and my feet.

He carried me to the bed and rudely removed my clothes and his.We presented ourselves to each other, his strength and my beauty.He rolled and slid his body on top of me like a fish swimming in water, yet he used the last of his wits to keep himself from entering me. I didn't close my eyes, and there was no shyness in my heart.He just borrowed my body, his desire is not because of me.I could hear him calling a name over and over in his heart, a name far more precious than his own life.Just because he knew he would never get her, he had to use another way to release his accumulated love, enthusiasm and madness.

If he can't, he will dry up like a spring in an instant. I am willing.I love him, but not as a woman loves a man, not like a princess, he has been a part of my life since we grew up together. I want him to fulfill the wish of the princess, I want him to get out of the confinement of himself, and "consummate the house" with the little concubine. I understand that love can release instinct, or imprison instinct, and only the awakened instinct can make him become the husband of the little concubine. In other words, he was able to give the child to the princess. Now, I lend him my body, and I am willing.

My body is so warm and lubricated. There are many times when he almost couldn't help but want to enter. His contradiction made his breathing more rough. Later, he moaned suppressedly and spread his body completely on my body.A stream of warm liquid poured down and merged with my warmth. An unnatural pride brought a smile to my face.He did it, and I did it, and he would never choose anyone else as a substitute for love except me. He receded from my body and lay down beside me.He didn't dare to look at me, his face showing embarrassment.I got out of bed and went outside to fetch a basin of water.As I passed the princess' bedroom, I stopped and listened.The sound of the princess's even breathing came from the bedroom. She fulfilled her wish and fell asleep peacefully.I didn't mean to be afraid of being discovered by the princess, I knew she wouldn't blame me.

What's more, there is nothing between me and Shahru. Everything Shahru did was for the woman he loved, and everything I did was for a woman who took me by my side and taught me to love me and care about me. I put water by the bed, wrung out a towel I hadn't used, and wiped Shahru's body.When my fingers inadvertently slid across his body, his body became hot again.Finally, he asked me again. He asked me again.This time, his movements were much calmer, he savored the joy my body brought him, savoring the joy of being a man, but no matter how madly he loved my substitute That woman, he still hasn't entered.

When we get out of bed and get dressed, my body is as chaste as ever. I'm going to take care of the princess, Shaharu took my hand. "Cecia." I look back at him. "You...don't hate me?" "Do you hate the princess?" "Why should I hate her?" "Why should I hate you?" We all laughed. Shaharu let go of my hand and hugged me into his arms: "Thank you, Cecia. I don't know what I can do for you, maybe I can give you nothing except hurt. But if you have something If you need it, I will try my best to satisfy you." He said sincerely.

I stared at him: "You didn't hurt me, I'm very happy." "is that true?" He looked into my face suspiciously, my eyes bright as morning stars. "Is it true?" he asked again. "It is true. Don't forget your promise to the princess." "that's it?" "that's it." "Cesia, why are you being so nice to me? I want to fulfill Oeira's wish, but I can't. I don't know what's going on, I just can't. I can't approach any woman like a man, Including my wife. Until just now, when I held her in my arms, she was so weak, so weak that anyone would be full of love. I suddenly had a feeling of wishing to die, and quietly, put my head in her arms, and die, so that I will never have to suffer again." "Now you can, Shahru. You don't need to feel sorry for me, because we love each other, because the friendship we have is not love between man and woman. I just want you to give the child to the princess. I You don't know the fear you went through, you didn't know how panicked I was when you weren't by my side. I thought she was going to leave me and leave me in this strange world. Without her, this world It will become cold and strange. Shah Ru, she is my mother and I cannot lose her." Shaharu looked at me with melancholy in his eyes: "She is your mother, and everything to me in this world. I can't lose her either."