Chapter 6 Chapter 6: I still remember when I was a teenager

Xie Nan logged off QQ and closed the laptop. She didn't resent Xiang Xinyang, but she didn't intend to say anything to him.She took off her coat and began to clean the room once a week. The 126-square-meter three-bedroom, two-living room and two-bathroom, although the furniture is so simple that it is only necessary for daily life, it also takes a lot of time to clean. She wiped down the kitchen first. Fortunately, there was almost no cooking, and there was no oily smoke.Clean two more bathrooms, tidy bedrooms, and mop the whole house once more. After thinking about it, she seemed to have to buy another washing machine. She used to use the old washing machine provided by the landlord when she lived in a rented house. Now she can't wash everything by hand, which is time-consuming and labor-intensive.She has successively purchased an air conditioner, a TV, a refrigerator, and a microwave oven, and found that her small life is getting more and more scaled.

What do you want a man to do?She said to herself as she twisted the mop hard. After eating green vegetables and egg noodles at noon, Xie Nan started to make soup routinely. Today she is going to make clear beef soup.Cut the beef first, boil it with clean water to remove the blood foam, then add cooking wine, ginger and pepper, and put them into the electronic purple sand soup pot. After setting it to the automatic gear, you don’t need to worry about it. It only takes more than two hours to cut it. The radish can be added to it.She always cooks a pot of soup on weekends to supplement her nutrition, and divides the excess into several portions, puts them in crisper boxes and puts them in the refrigerator, which can be used by one person for a week.

She took a professional book, moved a chair to the yard, the autumn sun was warm, she held up a big umbrella, only covered her head, and read a book in the sun, but she was leisurely and unknowingly a little tired, She dozed off, and when she was half asleep, a voice called her softly: "Nan Nan, Nan Nan." Xie Nan felt as if he was in a dream, but the voice sounded so real.She opened her eyes suddenly, and the book fell to the ground.She stared dumbfoundedly at the person standing outside the courtyard gate. It was Xiang Xinyang. Say her name and ask her to open the door. Xie Nan covered his eyes with his hands, and thought desperately: The scene in front of him was inexplicably familiar, as if he had experienced it in another time and space, or it seemed to be a distorted reappearance of a dream.

I hope that the eyes are just a daydream under the sun, and I hope that after letting go of my hand, there will be no one there anymore.She would rather bear the little melancholy and slight loss of waking up from the dream than face this person standing in front of her so truly. But she knew that this idea was absurd, and finally she could only let go, got up and walked over to open the courtyard door.Xiang Xinyang in front of him has completely lost his youthfulness, and he seems to be a mature man.He was wearing a white shirt and a gray vest. His slender figure was the same as before, but his bright and handsome face was a bit gloomy.

The sound of a car closing came from outside the yard. Xie Nan looked up unconsciously. In the opposite parking space, Yu Mucheng walked out of the car, smiled and nodded to her. She also nodded absent-mindedly, and then greeted Xiang Xinyang: "Go in and sit down." Xiang Xinyang entered the room and sat on the sofa. Xie Nan made a cup of tea and brought it over. Next to her hometown is the tea production area. This tea was insisted on by her mother when she went home last time. How to drink tea, I didn't expect it to come in handy so quickly.Xiang Xinyang reached out to take it, and the simple platinum wedding ring on his left ring finger fell into Xie Nan's eyes. She looked away and sat on the sofa next to it.

"Nan Nan, have you been okay these few years?" "Not bad, how about you?" Xie Nan said mechanically. "I'm fine too." Xiang Xinyang's company is engaged in construction, and the real estate market has been booming in recent years, so it's naturally developing well.After a moment of hesitation, he said, "I may be here for a long time." "I heard what Bingbing said." She replied flatly. After a while of silence, Xiang Xinyang seemed to be struggling to find a topic: "There should be some flowers and plants in the yard, it's a pity to be empty like this."

"I just moved here, I'm too lazy to clean up, and the season for planting flowers is over, let's talk about it next spring." Xie Nan replied casually, but thought it was ridiculous that after seven years, they met again in such a polite and fluent manner, as if there was no past between the two of them. But they bought the house together, and they separated suddenly when they were passionately in love. Neither of them can ignore such a past. Xiang Xinyang looked at the teacup in front of him, and didn't know what to say for a while.Xie Nan didn't even intend to take the initiative to speak.

"I hope I didn't bother you, Nannan. I'm just worried and want to see with my own eyes how you are doing now." "I'm doing well," Xie Nan replied a little tiredly, "Thank you for your concern, I guess you should be doing well, so I never feel worried." These words sounded a little ironic, but she had been coquettish, gentle, naive, and angry before, but she had never spoken to him in this tone. Xiang Xinyang had to think bitterly, everything was different up. Time also left traces on Xie Nan in front of her eyes. Her skin is no longer as delicate as before, her eyes are not as agile as before, but her face maintains a beautiful outline and is no longer round.And the biggest change in her was that her expression was calm and unwavering, and she was no longer the girl who was unreserved in front of him and laughed without restraint.

"That's good, that's good." He murmured, subconsciously picked up the cup in front of him, looked through the glass, saw pieces of tea leaves floating and floating in the water, the color of the soup was green and bright, he knew it at a glance It is Maojian from Xie Nan's hometown. He once sent Xie Nan home during the summer vacation of her junior year, and her parents entertained him with this kind of tea.He didn't have the habit of drinking tea at first, but he has been out of town for the past few years, but he has been asking someone to buy him this kind of Maojian by name, insisting on brewing a cup for himself every day, and tasting it slowly.

He took a sip lightly, and it really was the mellow and sweet taste that he was already familiar with. He looked up at this house. He had already been familiar with the house plan. He had a heated discussion with Xie Nan about what color tones and styles should be used for decoration, what kind of furniture to buy, and what varieties should be planted in the yard. flowers. And everything in front of them has no overlap with their plans and visions.Thinking of this, he suddenly couldn't sit here any longer, put down his glass, and said hastily: "I have something to do, so I'm leaving first."

Xie Nan sent him out, he didn't look at her again, got into a dark gray Volvo S80 without looking back, and quickly started to drive away.Xie Nan stood holding the courtyard door for a long time before his tense nerves relaxed, and a sense of fatigue enveloped his whole body.She walked slowly back to the living room and lay down on the sofa. Yu Mucheng saw this scene on his balcony. He didn't mean to spy on other people's lives.It's just that this Sunday afternoon, he just came home after socializing, and he was more relaxed. Seeing the rare autumn weather, he also came out to sit under the umbrella erected on the terrace, handling the mail with his notebook, and inadvertently bowed his head and collected all fundus. He put the notebook on the small round table made of anti-corrosion wood, got up and watched Xie Nan slump his shoulders, and entered the room as if defeated, that lonely and thin back made him feel sorry for her again.He didn't think he had a very deep experience of being trapped in love, but he seemed to be touched by her pain. For the first time, Xie Nan was deeply grateful for having such a space alone, allowing him to let his emotions go without any scruples, without explaining to anyone. But in fact, she has no emotions. "We will never contact you again." "Ok." "forget me." "Don't worry, I will." "Promise me, you will live a good life, better than me." "Go to hell, Xiang Xinyang, don't be so affectionate towards me, I hope you have a bad life, not good." Only when you're that young do you get emotional, all the anger and despair that comes out of your mouth.After these years, I still learned to hide my emotions and give my blessings politely. In fact, it doesn’t matter whether you have blessings or not, life still has to go on.Everyone is doing well, well, it's good to see this side, you can rest assured forever and live the life you should live, Xie Nan thought.She lay there as if out of strength, motionless, until the dusk grew darker and the light dimmed. She got up slowly, went out to collect the umbrella, took the books and chairs into the house, and then went into the kitchen, looking at the soup stewed in the purple clay pot without any hope. The time was too long, and the beef was all rotten, but it didn't matter, she changed the radish and cut it into smaller pieces, and threw it in. No matter what, it was still a pot of soup. After Xiang Xinyang left the community, he drove around the city aimlessly. He is a local, born and raised in this city. There are so many memories of him in this city. When he drives through the familiar streets, he can't help but think of him. I once held a girl's hand and wandered here. Xiang Xinyang is Xie Nan's senior, three years her senior.They met at the New Year's party, and Xie Nan's performance was a piano solo.At that time, she had just been admitted to the university of her first choice and came to the provincial capital to study. Like all freshmen, she still had the childishness of a girl in her expression, jumping out of the air, obviously playing a tune quietly and gently, but A lively smile bloomed on the corner of his mouth. She was wearing a white turtleneck sweater, a green plaid wool skirt and short boots. Her slender fingers were flying on the black and white piano keys. Her long hair was tied into a ponytail, shaking gently with the beat, and her beautiful face was slightly drooping.Xiang Xinyang, who was in charge of taking pictures, pointed the camera firmly at her. He didn't understand music, but he was intoxicated by that bright and thoughtless smile, and his heart began to dance with her fingers. He went back to his seat and took the film from his camera bag, when a girl next to him said disdainfully: "Her basic fingering skills are irregular at first glance, and the piano level in a small place is really unrecognizable." He turned around in surprise, and the one who was speaking was also a newborn girl, petite, round face, big eyes, and very beautiful, but the sarcasm at the corner of her mouth was a bit mean, the girl next to her agreed : "If your hand wasn't injured, which round would she play?" Xiang Xinyang glanced at the two of them, ignored the criticism, changed the film, and returned to the stage to take pictures. At the end of the song, Xie Nan got up to take the curtain call. When she straightened up, her gaze immediately met Xiang Xinyang who was holding a camera in front of the stage. He was staring at her intently, her face was burning red immediately, and she hurriedly turned and stepped off the stage. A day later, Xiang Xinyang found Xie Nan's dormitory downstairs, and handed her a stack of photos, all of which were her concentrating on playing the piano and getting up to call the curtain. She was a little flattered and thanked her repeatedly. "I think this one is a good one." Xiang Xinyang pointed to one of her profile photos, her beautiful face was raised slightly with the movement of her fingers, her eyes were bright and energetic. Xie Nan's vanity was greatly satisfied, and he said with a smile: "Yes, I'm going to send it back to my mother. She always said that my back is not straight, and I sit up straight in this one." "Then I'll wash another set for you and send it back to you." "No, just give me the negatives. By the way, how much are these photos?" Naturally, Xiang Xinyang refused to accept her money, and only smiled and said, "Just play a special piece of music for me sometime." Xie Nan actually admitted the truth: "My piano level is actually not good. I was forced to practice by my mother before, and I let it go after passing the tenth level. That day, I played on the stage with Xu Yan. She played much better than me, so I have to give it a try. She has won many awards, if you like to listen to piano music, you should listen to her play." Xiang Xinyang didn't expect her to be so naive, remembering that the girl who spoke harshly that day was probably the Xu Yan she was talking about, he couldn't help laughing: "But I just like watching you play the piano." No matter how simple Xie Nan was, he could hear the meaning behind his words, his face flushed, his head lowered in a panic, and he stood there awkwardly holding the photo, as if he was going or staying or leaving. He almost couldn't help but want to reach out and touch the swollen and small earlobe, but he didn't dare to make a mistake, so he could only suppress his thoughts: "Why do you look so generous when you perform on stage?" "I sing out of tune and dance stiffly. Only this talent can barely meet people. It would be a pity if I don't use it anymore."She was very happy that the subject had changed, and said with a smile, "Besides, my teacher taught me since I was a child. When I got on stage, just treat the audience below as a pile of Chinese cabbages, so I won't panic." "Would you blush at Chinese cabbage?" Xie Nan was at a loss for words, of course she remembered that when she lowered her head and touched those bright eyes, her face was full of enthusiasm, the calmness she had trained since childhood dissipated without a trace, and her face was hot again: "No wonder Bingbing said that the boys in the upper grades are very cheeky. Thick, don't take too much care." It was Xiang Xinyang's turn to be ashamed. Of course, the boys who were in the senior year had more or less practiced the kung fu of pestering the little girl shamelessly. He bared his teeth and smiled: "It's late, you have already talked to me. You Jia Bingbing must not have told you that thick-skinned boys cannot be shaken off." In college, the first-year girls are naive and haven't learned the ability to reject and greet boys, and retreat as an advance. They have always been the coveted targets of senior brothers.However, Xiang Xinyang's high-profile pursuit is still quite eye-catching.He comes from a wealthy family, looks handsome, and has always been favored by many people. Although Xie Nan is beautiful, she is not eye-catching. She also comes from an ordinary family in a small city in the province. Facing his offensive, she was a little panicked. When Xiang Xinyang said bluntly: "I like you, Nan Nan." She murmured for a long time before saying: "Others say that you are a senior in senior year and will graduate soon, so you are just making fun of me to pass the time." "What other people say is another matter, what do you think?" She hesitated for a while, then raised her head: "Xiang Xinyang, I don't think you are a frivolous person." This answer was serious and childish, and touched Xiang Xinyang. The girl in front of him had a pair of bright black and white eyes, which were pure and clear without any impurities. He reached out to hold her hand, and her face turned red as if on fire. generally. After several interactions, Xiang Xinyang realized that Xie Nan blush really easily, a joke hint, a longer stare, a simple touch can make her face flush, and often her face turns red. The blush has dissipated, but the ears are still red. In contrast to the flushed face, her fingers were slightly cool, just like the first time he saw them flying on the keys, slender and slender, with smooth and fair skin, shrunk slightly, and still stayed in his hands. Xiang Xinyang soon graduated and stayed to work in the family business. Their relationship broke the predictions of some people and became more and more stable. Gradually, everyone's eyes on them were envious. Xie Nan did not hide her love Joy and happiness, whenever he touched her eyes, they were as gentle as water, full of happiness. But just now, the barren yard, empty room, and desolate walls hurt his eyes deeply.Not to mention that Xie Nan, who was sitting opposite him, looked indifferent, her thin face was expressionless, only her slender fingers were tightly twisted together, reminding him that she was not happy. He failed her.For the first time, this thought that had forced him not to turn back appeared so clearly in his heart for the first time, and he could no longer avoid it. Xiang Xinyang worked hard to count the time, it has been nearly ten years since he first held her hand.Seven years have passed since he got married and left the local area. Sometimes when he was shaving in front of the mirror, he would stop suddenly, feeling that the expressionless face of the 31-year-old man in front of him was a little strange. He stared coldly at the face in the mirror, not knowing when time had changed him. He knew clearly that what he left her was a difficult and embarrassing life, so how could he expect her to face it alone, but still retain the original innocence and happiness. He parked the car on the side of the road, leaned back in the chair slumped, took out a cigarette and lit it. He started smoking when he was in college. He wasn't a big smoker before. He only smoked a few when he was playing cards with a group of boys to brag about it. Most other girls would restrain their boyfriends from smoking. Smiling into his arms, he said: "My father also smokes, but my mother refuses to quit, saying that this is his only hobby. You smell similar to him." He couldn't laugh or cry, he pinched a cigarette and rubbed her hair, her hair was hard and felt smooth to the touch: "If you ask me to quit, I will definitely quit." Her request is only: "Smoke as little as possible, okay?" Now he smokes almost half a pack of cigarettes a day, watching the smoke curl up, he recalls the scene when his wife Tang Linglin looked at him before he left, he hesitated to speak, he knew exactly what she wanted to say, but refused to give her a chance to speak, just Explained business affairs in an orderly manner. Of course, in the past seven years, except for visiting relatives during the Spring Festival, he never offered to come back, but this time, he had a good reason: his father was diagnosed with diabetes, and he was getting thinner and weaker, and he was unable to handle the increasingly complicated company. affairs; his elder brother had gotten into big troubles in the local construction market before, and after finally getting out, he invested in a building materials agency business. He himself couldn't tell if he was looking forward to coming back. In this city with distinct seasons and extreme weather, there are noisy people, messy and disorderly buildings, his relatives, his family's property and the girl he loved. He could come back to face the bad weather and the chaotic company without frowning, but he didn't know how to face her. Seeing each other from now on is a good choice for both of them, he has always said so to himself. However, when he thought of coming back, his heart throbbed inexplicably, and he didn't want to discuss this throbbing with anyone. After coming here, he devoted himself to his work, and talked with his wife on time every day, and most of the conversations were still about work.Then exchange a simple mutual concern. "Remember to eat on time and don't eat irritating food." Tang Linglin has chronic gastritis, and he reminded her routinely. She said more: "Let Dad rest at ease, see Chinese medicine for recuperation, don't bring work home, don't stay up late to smoke." Treating each other like a guest like this, he knew that he had been avoiding him all the time, and Tang Linglin's amazing patience made him even more unwilling to face certain things. It was getting dark, Xiang Xinyang drove home, his heart sank, there was a pair of black high heels at the entrance, he walked into the study, Tang Linglin sat in front of the desk, lost in thought on his laptop, when she heard him coming in, she turned the chair around, facing him. "Your notebook is open." She looked at him quietly and said frankly. For more than seven years, whenever he turned on the computer, he would hang up this QQ account incognito.He renews on time and pays membership fees for two connected QQ numbers, and never chats with anyone. He has deleted only one of his friends, but the only avatar is always gray, without any movement. He himself didn't know what he was waiting for, it seemed to be just a habit, like drinking tea from a certain place, listening to piano music, or asking the secretary to order tulips that didn't last long to be placed in the office, knowing that it had no special meaning, but Reluctant to give up categorically. At noon today, when he was sending and receiving emails, he saw his avatar suddenly light up. He almost suspected that he was dreaming. His heart began to beat wildly. He sent four conversations in a row, but did not get any response. After a while, the avatar was gray go down. He couldn't sit still any longer, grabbed the keys and drove out, without closing his laptop of course. "Why don't you call ahead so I can pick you up at the airport." Xiang Xinyang's expression was as calm as hers. Tang Linglin smiled: "I wanted to give my husband a surprise, but obviously, I was the one who was surprised. You went to see her just now, right?" Xiang Xinyang was silent. "Of course, you must have gone. I only have one question. As far as I know, you probably haven't contacted her in the past seven years, and she hasn't replied to you on QQ. How do you know where she is?" Xiang Xinyang remained silent. Before he left the city seven years ago, he went to the lakeside community on purpose. At that time, the second phase of the community was still under development, and only a few owners lived in the first phase, which was very deserted.He left his contact information with the real estate agency and told them to contact him immediately if there was news that the house in Tulip Court was listed for sale. About half a year later, he would call back to ask about it. The real estate agency staff had dialed many times, and the person who answered the phone was different each time. Someone tried to recommend another house to him: "The house type is exactly the same as the one you mentioned. , closer to the lake, the location is better than Tulip Garden, and the price is fair.” Some people gossip: "The owner of this house has never been here, sent her the materials for the election of the owners' committee, and I have not seen her vote." Someone was curious: "The suite you mentioned, I have the impression that the weeds in the yard grow very deep, and the neighbors around complained that it was unsightly. But it is not easy to go in and clean up private places and properties. Do you know Owner?" In the past seven years, every time he only came back during the Spring Festival, he always took a little time to drive quietly to the community, look at the yard that had been deserted for many years, and then sat by the cold lake for a long time. When he came back last month, he ran into Gao Rubing at the airport. She kept her indifference towards him and only told him not to disturb Xie Nan. After he moved in, the first thing he did was to call the property management number of the community. A young man who claimed to be surnamed Wang answered and told him: "I checked, the house you registered to buy has been renovated by the owner last month. I'm afraid it won't change hands in a short time, if there is a similar listing, I will contact you." After putting down the phone, it took him a long time to calm down. That being said, she finally gave up her insistence and moved into the house they bought together. After knowing this, he didn't have the courage to go there anymore.It wasn't until today when he saw her suddenly log on to QQ and then go offline that he drove straight to that neighborhood without thinking. When he got there, he still hesitated and turned to the lake first.At this time, the occupancy rate of this community is already very high. There are cars coming and going on the road around the lake. Some people walk along the lakeside. During the basketball game, the sound of the basketball hitting the board, the sound of landing, and the sound of cheering and cheering came continuously, and the strong breath of life made his nose ache. Isn't this everything he's ever dreamed of?However, it was a miss after all. For seven years, he and her could only meet once in a while on QQ. When he arrived in this community, he was too timid to go in. After sitting there for an unknown amount of time, he finally convinced himself that it would be good to just take a look at the house. In the parking space in front of the yard is a white Beverly which is probably new.There were no dead yellow weeds in the yard when he came to see them last time, but nothing was planted. Xie Nan was sitting on a deck chair under an open sun umbrella, holding a book on his lap with his hand tilted to one side. , seems to be dozing off.She was wearing a white sweater, just like when he first met her. His mind was agitated, and her name was blurted out. "You just got off the plane, take a good rest, I'm tired too." "Xinyang, are you sure I will tolerate, ignore and let go?" Xiang Xinyang smiled slightly: "We have known each other since we were young, Ling Lin, you have never rubbed sand in your eyes, you have many good qualities, but forbearance, neglect and indulgence have never been your specialty." "You really know me well, so well, I don't need to remind you of the promise you made to me when you got married. I was really worried when I agreed with you to come back to work, but I said to myself, if there is no basic trust between husband and wife If not, it would be very sad. Do you think I am too naive, or you may say, Ling Lin, naivety has never been your virtue." Xiang Xinyang frowned: "I admit that I went to see her just now, but I just want to know if she is doing well now. I know that I am a married man, and I will not disturb her life." "You regard her life as sacred. I don't know what you think after you went to see it? I made a few phone calls and asked about it. It seems that her roommate got married and she just moved in before you. Bought that house. Funny, I thought she'd either sell it soon or move in early to remember the lost relationship, but she'd leave it empty for seven years." "Ling Lin, what exactly do you want to say?" Tang Linglin ignored his question: "I was lucky enough to care about her situation, and hope that she is all right, so as to save you from worrying about guilt, but it's terrible, she still has a good job, working for a foreign company In terms of financial management, I have already obtained the qualification of a certified public accountant, but I have not had a boyfriend, let alone married." She stood up slowly, looked at Xiang Xinyang, "Xinyang, you are guilty, aren't you?" Xiang Xinyang has known Tang Linglin's sensitivity for a long time, but at this moment, she still feels shocked when she speaks out. He tried to keep calm: "I gave up on her seven years ago, so I gave up and asked about her life again. Qualifications. Please don’t inquire about her or disturb her.” "I wish she had nothing to do with our lives." Tang Linglin smiled wryly: "Based on Dad's current situation, I guess you'll be here for a long time. How should we get along with each other next?" "It's still the same as before, Ling Lin. My promise to you is to respect our marriage, and I will keep it." "Have you ever thought that what I want is more than a promise?" After a long time, Xiang Xinyang smiled wearily, and raised his hand to rub his temples: "That depends on whether I can give it. As before, I will try my best to fulfill the duties of a husband."