Chapter 30 Chapter 26 Bungee Jumping

In January 2010, when I went to the Auckland station to participate in the competition, my knees began to swell again. The feeling was similar to the feeling after the first operation: a little uncomfortable, trying to do my best but unable to do my best, my body couldn’t keep up with the rhythm, in short, it was completely Did not return to his competitive state. I lost the first game with a bang. After losing the game, I felt very depressed, and I especially wanted to do something that could stimulate and challenge myself. What should I do?I thought about it for several days, and finally, I challenged the bridge bungee jump in New Zealand.

I've always wanted to do something beyond my limits, but never got around to it.Now that the Auckland Harbor Bridge bungee jumping platform is in sight, go bungee jumping. The bungee jumping platform on the Auckland Harbor Bridge is the world's first bungee jumping platform built on the Harbor Bridge. It is 40 meters high, but it doesn't seem to be that high from a distance.I actually have a fear of heights, but when I saw it under the bridge, I didn't think it was so scary, so I went to the designated place under the bridge to measure my weight and put on a hat. When the equipment was finished, we lined up and walked under the bridge Go to the bridge.

The road to the bridge is very narrow, the railings are very low, and the sea breeze is so strong that it feels like it may fall at any time.We walked staggeringly for nearly 15 minutes, and I suddenly felt something was wrong!Looking back, Thomas was gone!There were a total of seven people in our group. Thomas, the physical trainer, and the therapist followed me at first, and a strange foreign boy was also in our team, but Thomas disappeared at this time.I asked them, "Where's Thomas?" The answer was, "He felt dizzy and went back." The road to the bridge is very narrow and the slope is very high. From the gaps between the metal steps, you can see the rippling sea water under the bridge. bungee jumping?In the end, it was just me, the therapist, and the little foreign boy.The therapist, a South African, jumped off the bridge without hesitation, very fast.The little boy and I looked at each other, and the little boy turned pale: "I won't dance anymore, I abstain, I abstain."

At this moment, I was also scratching my heart with my claws, and I was so conflicted. I wanted to feel the excitement, but I was trembling with fear. I thought: What am I trying to do?Why should I do this?But the camera arranged by the organizing committee was facing me opposite the bungee jumping platform, so I had no choice but to move forward step by step.The diving platform on the bridge is not big, but the few steps I took made my legs almost cramp.I said to the people behind me, "Don't push me." He said, "I didn't push you, you were walking by yourself." I walked up to the platform step by step, and then came back a little bit, feeling so scared Going crazy.

I dawdled on the platform for 10 minutes alone.When I finally made up my mind to jump, the little foreign boy threatened me and said, "There are sharks down there." I said: "If there is a shark, I will come up with the shark." The moment I jumped down, I felt that death was not terrible at all, and it was nothing compared to this waiting time.I silently recited "for my tennis performance to be better" in my heart, yelled, and jumped down. In the first 3 seconds of jumping, I was completely seized by fear. For the first time, I felt so helpless, and everything around me was leaving me at a high speed.I have nothing in my hands to protect myself.I wasn't so scared until I fell down and bounced up again.It turns out that bungee jumping feels like flying.

The weightlessness of falling again made me uncomfortable, like the feeling of falling at full speed on a roller coaster.But when I was pulled up after playing it twice, I suddenly felt that my whole life was relieved!But that's all.I've even done something as exciting as bungee jumping, so what's the point of playing a ball? When I stood on the bridge and looked down, I was ready to die. The moment I told myself "jump down", the hopeless fear reached its peak.But it was only when I jumped down that I realized that it was such a big deal, and the previous unpleasant game suddenly lost weight.Isn't it just tennis, if you can't play well, you can't play well, what else can you do?

The little boy who was afraid of jumping platform had no chance to experience such a rich feeling.He will regret it in the future, such a special opportunity, just give up like this. Later, Jiang Shan said: "I knew you were dancing when I heard that cry. What's your name, just dance." I said perfunctorily: "I called out to express my feelings." Jiang Shan didn't go up the bungee jump that day, because the bungee jumping platform stipulates that no more than seven people can go up at a time.He said that 40 meters is too short, he wants to jump higher. After I left New Zealand, I went to play the Sydney Open. I hoped that I could get back to my best competitive condition as soon as possible. Italian players.

During that time, my loathing and hatred for myself was at its peak. I forgot which philosopher said: "All human suffering essentially stems from anger at one's own incompetence." Jiang Shan said it was Wang Xiaobo.Ah, maybe, excuse me, I don't know much about literature and philosophy.But I think this sentence is really well said and makes sense. I walked out of the stadium in Sydney without speaking to anyone, a mixture of frustration and self-blame brewing silently in my heart.I avoided the sight of the coach and Jiang Shan, and I found a place where no one could see me.Tennis players wear racket covers all the time. With emotion, I threw the racket cover on the ground hard, then sat down, pulled the coat over my head, and burst into tears.

The darkness brought by the coat over my head made me feel a little safe, like a child finding a cave for himself, and I cried and cried with confidence and boldness. Why is this so? Obviously paid so much, but at the critical moment, he just couldn't win the game.If the reason for the loss is that the opponent is too strong, and I have been eaten to death by others, that's fine.But I clearly know that my failure is entirely because I can't control my psychology.I have the strength to win the championship, but I don't have the mentality to win the championship. This is my fatal injury!

I hid under my coat and burst into tears. It's those boring thoughts that keep me from performing at my best!And this damn leg! My body was not strong after surgery, and no matter how much I wanted to recover quickly, my knee still sent out uncomfortable signals.That feeling of awkwardness is not too much of a hindrance in life, but it keeps me distracted in games.As a professional player, when you urgently need to jump, run, and exert strength, your body tells you with sharp pain that it doesn't want to do it. Is there anything more terrifying than this?Your body has betrayed you!

I was crying and scared at the same time, it has been so long, can the leg injury be cured?What state did you recover to?Can you still play?After working so hard to come back and recover, I still can’t perform 100% on the court. What should I do in the future?Helplessness, despair, and helplessness are all circling in my chest. This kind of emotion has been suppressed for a long time, and today it completely broke out under the stimulation of losing.The whole world is going away from me and I can't control anything!No one can win!I can't even overcome the shadow in my own heart!Thinking of this, I couldn't help but have a sore nose. After crying for about 20 or 30 minutes, someone took off the coat on my head. At this time, my eyes had become red and swollen, and the sudden bright light made me uncomfortable. When Jiang Shan's helpless face appeared in front of my eyes, I couldn't help but want to run away. At this time, even if he came over, I would not answer him.Because this is when I'm at my worst and I just want to hide from the world and preferably nobody sees me.I can't wait to find a hole in the ground and go in, and never see anyone again. Jiang Shan didn't comfort me right away either, he sat beside me for a while, watching me cry, and he didn't talk to me about today's game until I had vented my emotions and calmed down slowly. I told Jiang Shan very directly that I don't want to fight anymore, I really can't fight anymore, why did I pay so much and invest so much?After three surgeries, what is the purpose of working so hard every day for rehabilitation?I couldn't see any gains, and I didn't know what to do with myself—that day I suddenly felt very depressed, and I had no fighting spirit on the field, and I had no desire to win at all. The only thought was to finish the fight and leave.I suddenly lost my faith in tennis, I don't know why I did it. Jiang Shan has never encouraged me very much. I cried hysterically in front of him that day, and he was not moved by my tears. He just told me calmly: It’s okay to be depressed, which proves that you think you can still do it. better, so it is right to be frustrated.But you still have to go on.Losing is normal, everyone knows you just had surgery, it doesn't really matter whether you win or lose this game.But you can't just give up like this. These people are fighting with you. You have surgery and training so hard. What is it for?Isn't it just for playing well?There must be wins and losses in playing basketball. As long as you work hard, there is no need to be frustrated. Just think about why you failed.Why are you depressed?Because you know that you didn't do your best, you feel that you should win, but in fact, if you think about it rationally, you have to admit that others did a good job today, so good that they should win.Don't think that you can overcome everything if you work hard, that is the result of idealization.You have to admit that your opponent is better than you, and then you can think about what problems you need to solve before you can continue to fight.You are an adult, not a little girl, don't give up easily. Listening to his words, I have mixed feelings in my heart, I have to admit that he is right, but I also blame him-he always seems to push me forward, even though I admit in my heart that I need these pushes , I still don't want Jiang Shan to say that. The depression gradually dissipated, and a few months later, I had my first competitive rebound.People are interesting animals.In the years to come, I gradually discovered that every time I break free from the slump, I will enter a higher level.Just like bungee jumping, when you hit the bottom is when you start the Jedi bounce.My state is always up and down, always walking between failure and victory.I gradually grasped this law, and I began to become more rational in the face of failure.