Chapter 9 Chapter 5 Home Alone

After my father passed away, my mother was even more distracted than I was when I was young.The debt owed by my father's illness has not been settled, and it costs money to arrange the funeral. My mother is not sure what to do, so she simply discusses everything with me. I suddenly felt that I was very strong, strong enough to support this family and protect my mother. When I was a child, I had no concept of money at all. When I needed to change the racket or shoes, I would ask my parents for it.When I was a little older, I started to play games, and all the bonuses in the team were handed over to my parents.I really started to realize the importance of money when my father passed away.In order to pay off the debts owed for treating my father's illness, my mother rented out the house and moved back to her mother's family in Wuchang.Once she hesitated again and again, hesitatingly asked me when the bonus for playing the National Games would be paid, and her salary alone was not enough to pay off the debt.

I really wish I could have played a few more games.If I play one more game, the bonus will be more, and the debts of the family will be paid off earlier. I was 15 years old that year. The days of entering the provincial team were not as happy as I first imagined. Since I joined the training team in Hubei Province in 1991, the coach who took me was Yu Liqiao. She took me with me until 2002, when I retired for the first time.She is the coach of the Hubei team, and she has been leading it since entering the national team.During these 9 years, I spent the longest time with her and was most influenced by her.

Coach Yu is a very dedicated and good coach, but he has a hot temper and a tough style.She is known for being demanding and disciplined with her players.If you still can't correct something after she has said it two or three times, she will rush to you and say, "I've learned how to teach a pig, why are you so stupid and haven't learned it?" Children will definitely have rebellious psychology.Every time I hear such words, I think in my heart, you can teach pigs to teach, so you can teach me one. Girls will cry more or less when they are wronged. Coach Yu hates others crying, "Why are you crying?" But if you stop crying, she will say: "Do you have any brains? I don’t feel it.” When I was told this at the beginning, I felt quite uncomfortable and aggrieved, and it even affected the mood of the practice.When she said these words again later, she couldn't hurt me anymore.I've become numb and used to it.

I feel like I'm doing something wrong.At that time, Li Ting and I were coached by Coach Yu, and Li Ting was older than me. At that time, we were still playing on the sandy soil. She fed us the ball, and Li Ting and I played together.If one of us misses a forehand shot, she throws a tantrum, blah blah blah, blah blah.If we make continuous mistakes, she will push us down impatiently, and slam her head and face with "rolling"! In the 9 years I have been with Coach Yu, I have hardly received praise, and I have not even had the opportunity to express my thoughts.So until now, I have never once felt that I am smart, I have always felt that I am that kind of stupid, maybe the influence at that time was too deep.

Later someone said I was "strong on the inside".I couldn't help but smile bitterly: Anyone who grows up under such an education will have a strong heart, won't he? This is not to say that Coach Yu is a bad person. She is a very dedicated coach and a very upright person.She was born in 1957, and her husband died young, leaving her alone to raise her two-year-old child.Thinking about it now, it's not easy for a young woman with a child and a heavy workload.Every time she took us out to play games, the child's uncle had to come over to take care of the child.From the training team to the professional team, choose one of the many players.My family environment is almost the worst in the team, so I was chosen.Sometimes, she has to pay for it herself to take us to play games.These all show that her character is upright and selfless.

It's just that Coach Yu's temper is too hot. In my impression, she has never spoken softly.We made a mistake, she said I didn't correct it, and she exploded immediately.The team members we trained with never had the feeling of "waking up today and feeling that the weather is good or very happy". Every day when we wake up, we think "I will train again soon, and I will be scolded again", trembling and walking on thin ice. I don't know what You will make mistakes from time to time, and you don’t know when the coach will suddenly punish you for running.All the players are in constant fear - we don't know when the punishment will come, we just know it will come.

As an adult I know it's not about the coach personally.Since ancient times in China, there has been a saying that "strict teachers make excellent students". Coaches are very strict with their students.The disciples who grew up in such a depressive environment later retired and became coaches, and they would unconsciously or even intensify their suppression of their disciples.This is more or less the meaning of "a daughter-in-law who has been boiled for many years to become a mother-in-law".It is also because they do not know other education methods at all.This generation of coaches oppressed them in this way, and when they grow up to become coaches, they will also oppress the new players below, and it will continue to be suppressed from generation to generation. All the players have grown up under the super-pressure training method.It's pretty inhuman, but...it works.

Under the temptation of "achievement", all high-pressure measures are acquiesced. In 1997, I won the first national championship in my life in the National Tennis League Finals in Qingdao, becoming the youngest adult national singles champion. It's a pity that when I fulfilled my father's wish, my father could no longer see it. Sometimes I imagine what kind of expression he would have if he was still there, whether he would hold his daughter and smile happily, and I should be happy for him. Proud of his daughter?Since my father left me, I will try to avoid mentioning the word "dad", and I dare not even think about it.This is an important secret that I hide deep in my heart and cannot touch. I hope that I can protect it from harm through my own efforts.Sometimes I can't help but wonder: If my father hadn't left me so early, would I have been different?You can act like a baby in front of your father at will, you can be willful occasionally, you don’t need to pretend to be strong, and you don’t need to bear the responsibility of the family at a young age to live. It should be completely different from now.

Not long after entering the provincial team, I won an opportunity for myself to go abroad for exchange. At that time, the provincial team informed me to go to Beijing to participate in the youth training camp. Tennis teenagers from all over the country who were considered promising were gathered here.This is an event held by the National Tennis Center, and Nike China is the sponsor. After careful selection, a total of 12 athletes, six men and six women, were selected to enter the Nike training camp. The final winner will have the opportunity to study at the US Tennis School for 10 months. I am very lucky to have won this opportunity.

In 1997, applying for a visa was still very troublesome and took a lot of trouble.And my energy at the moment should be spent more on the National Games held in Shanghai.As soon as the National Games ended, I was going to travel across the ocean. My mother was worried about me and came to Shanghai alone to see me. We, mother and daughter, met each other right away.When my mother sent me to the airport, I couldn't help crying. On the one hand, I was reluctant to cross the ocean at a young age and live in a foreign country without a companion; on the other hand, I missed my father who passed away recently, but I couldn't say it clearly I can only express the depression in my heart with tears.

The tennis school contacted by Nike is in Texas, and there is only a direct flight from Shanghai to Los Angeles. I have to change planes in Los Angeles to reach my destination.At that time, I was applying for a student visa, and I needed an I-20 form to pass the customs, but my guardian forgot to give me this form before I left the country. When I entered the customs, the customs staff repeatedly questioned me about this form. At that time, I couldn't speak a word of English, so everyone had to stare at each other in a deadlock.In the end they found a translator who knew Chinese and asked me. I told him that I had never seen this watch before. They didn't believe me and said it was impossible.They also asked me where I was going when I came to the United States and how long I was going to stay. I told them the name of the online school I was going to, and then they opened my two bags of luggage and checked them carefully. My luggage is very simple, except for the necessary daily necessities, which is the sportswear sponsored by Nike. As a result of these negotiations, they locked me in a small dark room and contacted the online school I was going to. I don't know what they mean by locking me in the small dark room, I just know that the flight I'm going to take is about to take off.I was terrified and I didn't know what I was doing wrong.There was no light in the room, and I sat alone in the dark, helpless, and shed a few tears.I have traveled abroad a few times in youth competitions before, but they were all accompanied by a team leader and an interpreter. I have never encountered such a situation. I stayed in the small black room for about 20 minutes. The people from the customs released me. They contacted the people from the online school and told me that you can go, but you have to ask the people from the school to help you go within two months. The Immigration Service reissues this form.