Chapter 68 (69)

I didn't have any strength and went back to school feeling weak. When I passed by the gymnasium, I lay down at the door and took a peek inside. Ichiro was jokingly stepping on a teammate's leg. For some reason, the two of them were chatting and laughing. Non-stop, with a look of innocence and carelessness.I haven't been to the gym since Ichiro's punishment, and I seem to be a little scared to meet her because it's sure to spoil many, many good things. I started to go to the library to write letters to Yang Hong every day, and quietly recalled the unbearable past by myself. I tried to explain myself to her again and again, but every time I wrote it, it became a tearful apology and guilt.

I found that I couldn't explain myself at all. I was using excuses and weakness to cover up my betrayal of my lover in order to give myself a little false forgiveness and comfort. My so-called emotion is just a lying slave serving myself , it makes me doubt others but deceive myself, all of this is the retribution of my own slavishness! I have never looked at myself so clearly, but the clearer I look, the more I feel that what Xiaohong said is right, I am indeed a despicable person. Yang Hong never came to a letter, but I still felt more painfully the preciousness of her silent but ubiquitous presence.

In the afternoon, I usually go to sit under the big locust tree for a while, watch the spring scenery and lovers on campus, or bury the letters I wrote these days. The guitar that old K left me is very good, it is small like a children's toy, it is soft and cute in my arms, but the tone it comes out is indescribably pure and smooth, it sounds like playing a mandarin guitar. Dolin, I took her and reviewed all the songs written by myself and old K with the girl I talked about at that time. The songs were all written by old K. This guy's sense of music is really great. When my fart was bigger, I was self-taught and could play nursery rhymes with the kind of toy piano that everyone has. I wrote all the lyrics, and all the words in a yard of water were childish words that sighed and pretended to be deep and painful. I also tried I used to write songs by myself, but every time I hit that gray and gloomy Dm chord, I couldn't go on.

I played the song "God Bless" over and over again. Although no one listened to it, it sounded good to me. This was the first song I would play, and it was also the song I wanted to play the most every time I thought of Yang Hong. But The strange thing is that when she was there, I never played it to her. I also quietly practiced two difficult songs: "Four Rhymes of Nostalgia" and "fragile", and finally a less difficult song "Last Winter". The lyrics of that song seemed to be written for me Same. A little girl with an internship card in the post office told me that I had to go to the city government to issue a certificate to prove that the contents of the tape were legal!

"Then what should I do? I have some songs that I play and sing myself." "Think about it! There are many ways!" The little girl blinked and told me that I did as the little girl said, unloaded the core of the tape, tied it tightly with transparent tape, and put it in a paper bag. envelope. "What is this?" A middle-aged man pinched the envelope and asked me as the little girl with the internship card was not there. "It's... a ring!" "The tape is the tape! Return the ring! Why is the ring so big! You have to pay extra for the extra weight!"

"OK! Add it!"