Chapter 22  (22)

Memories of the summer vacation that followed were as haunting as the hair salon. I persisted for a month, sleeping twelve hours a day, and spent the rest of the time eating, drinking, listening to music, watching TV, and waiting for Yang Hong's phone call. That night there was a power outage at home, so I decided to go out for a walk. I went to the busiest street, wandered alone for three hours, ate a McDonald’s and bought myself the most popular vest in summer. Walked through countless streets, visited countless shops, and looked at countless beauties.I pretended and even lied to myself that I was admiring their clothes and makeup, but I like the neon lights on these women's heads just like I like these women's bodies, and they show off and flash at me charmingly.All the women seem to have one undifferentiated body tonight, they expose, they twist, they shake, they seethe, they see nothing, they loom, they voluptuously seduce them, they don't say a word.They unified and intentionally dissipated that decadent but charming beauty towards me.

I'm a sleepy beast, I'm walking in disbelief, I'm reacting so strongly I have to put my hands in my trouser pockets, I'm hiding and comforting my desires and energies, but they're way beyond me The ability to suppress myself, gradually, gradually... and the blood of desire suddenly erupted from the whole body to the head, what music art TV show... what love story American blockbuster... what family warmth, university culture, all of this It's so fucking hypocritical that I can't control my madness anymore, no matter how beautiful my emotions are, it won't work now!No matter how loyal your belief is, it has nothing to do with me at this moment!Except for the desire in the eyes, everything around here is fucking fake!I completely let myself go hysterically to get rid of them, and now there is only one last problem!Just what I need to get what I want instantly! ! !

I desperately rushed into the blood-red hair salon. I really don't know if this counts as revenge for Yang Hong's failure to come back. I haggle with tact and poise.After turning around and turning to the place, the room was empty and there was only a dirty mat.As soon as she took off half of her clothes, I couldn't wait to pounce on her.That woman must be pretty old but she still didn't offer me the kind of comfort I needed, even though I thought there would be when she offered to bring me something. When she sat on me in a very indecent position, I was already regretting why I chose her.I ended this wordless and meaningless physical encounter without holding back.I started feeling ashamed when I was putting on my pants, developed into nausea when I was pulling out money, and ended up panicking when I realized I didn't have enough money in my wallet.

The next day, I was sweating profusely to find the woman in the hair salon who redeemed her ID card. On the way home, I was so weak that I lost my soul. I sat on the ground behind the tree and cried for a while in despair because I had let down Yang Hong. After a while, I felt that it was boring to face the old tree, so I rode home and comforted myself along the way. Betrayed Yang Hong. During the whole summer vacation, Yang Hong didn’t get many phone calls and couldn’t say a few words. She said that they always had to go to some poor places to sketch and collect pictures. The conditions were very bad and the phone was inconvenient. I elaborate.I said it's okay, you can paint well and feel the nature well.She also asked me if I wanted anything, and I said I want you!

Every time I want to tell Yang Hong what I did, but when the words come to my mouth, I don't know whether I feel sorry for her or what, and I immediately lose the courage. I suffered like this for a whole summer, feeling guilty, but I couldn't help feeling wronged.