Chapter 10 Section ten

Jia Ming's car was parked at the door, and I walked towards him slowly.How could there be such a ridiculous thing in the world.After seeing a man, he ran to another man. This is probably what they call a woman's watery nature. The strange thing is, I like Jiaming very much.Peter said he was engaged, I didn't feel it, but if Jiaming got married, I would be in a daze for a few days.I'm very selfish, if he has a girlfriend, who else would I ask to make such a sacrifice for me?I will always repay him in the future, and I cannot let him down. I sat silently in Jiaming's car. He looked at Bill in the rear-view mirror, and said, "The image of a father, the charm of a mature man." He also looked at me after he said that.

I don't ring. After a while, I asked, "When will the two old ladies leave?" "Just go, don't worry." He said, "I said I have an exam, if they don't go, it will delay my homework, so they have to go." "Thank you." I said in a low voice, "Who will marry you in the future—I don't know which family's daughter has such a blessing, but she just got there by accident. The fate of a person is extremely difficult to say, maybe she I don't appreciate you at all, married you, ate your food, and complained all the time, but she has such a blessing!" Afterwards, I was very exaggerated and sour.

Jia Ming smiled, "Since you are so optimistic about me and yet so unconvinced, why didn't you come forward and marry me?" I said, "I'm not worthy of you. There's something good about me as a person: I have self-knowledge. What's the point of me forcing myself? People look uncomfortable, but I don't like it in my heart. I've been living with a sense of inferiority for the rest of my life—— —Don't do it, I won't do it." "What about inferiority complex, Miss, if you think what you are doing is interesting, you don't need to feel inferior. If it's not interesting, just don't do it, right?"

I don't ring, because Bill has an inferiority complex?Yes, but I won't admit it.Yes, with him, I can't stand up, being with him is just a matter for the two of us, being with him is lonely, we don't like to see each other, and we don't want to see each other, what should I say?I was no longer free and lively for his sake, and I sighed at the thought that he had so occupied my heart. Jiaming sent me home, and I talked to my mother for a long time. I said: "You go back, don't publish the engagement announcement, if there is any change in the future, I will make people laugh, if you get married, you will be married, right? It's not too late to publicize it and notify relatives and friends. It's too late now. It's too early, you don't know, we are in a foreign country, and many things happen inexplicably and uncontrollably."

Mom opened her eyes wide, "What else will happen to Jiaming?" "You can't say that. Nothing in this world is 100% reliable. He still needs to study." "I think he's fine." "Maybe, but Mom, please don't spread the word. I know your temper. You like to talk nonsense with those wives when you are free. Last time I went back, I almost didn't suffocate. They were all worried that I would marry you." If you don't go out, you actually wish that I wouldn't get married." "So, now I'm exhaling and raising my eyebrows." Mom said, "Jiaming is such a good child!"

"Mom, you don't understand, why should I be proud in front of them! What do they know! How can I care what they think!" "Okay, okay, I understand, you look down on them, I understand." look down.Of course, of course I look down on them, they have been like this all their lives, and their lives are too comfortable, except for a big butt trying to grow fat, there is nothing more.I am also worried about what they think, I eat my own food, wear my own clothes, do whatever I like, whoever I give face to—whoever gave me face, I have no friendship with them, they ask for their own Go to the confidant, there is no benefit in a foreign country, and you can't see the faces of these people, which is very good.

My mother said to me: "Joe, you have to live up to yourself." I laughed, "I'm really proud of myself. Now that you're gone, I'll look for a job. You don't have to worry, I won't ask you to send money." "If you can get married early, get married early." Mom said, "Don't delay." She left with Aunt Zhang. I only waited for a month before replying to them telling them that I had broken off the engagement with Jiaming and returned the ring to Jiaming.The rest said nothing. Mom didn't hear back. In fact, Jiaming and I don't know how friendly we are, we are real old friends.

I said: "Such a good ring, just take it out and shake it, and this group of women will come like a dog." I said jealously. "That's so ugly," he said, "I don't have this ring, but I can still find a girlfriend, right?" "It's true!" I said angrily, "You bring them, I'll treat them to dinner, why don't you bring them?" "You girls keep muttering, saying that you can't find a good partner in a foreign country, but how can we find it? You have a look! I can't bear Xiao Fei, I can't blame others. I am old-fashioned and don't know how to eat, drink and play. I can't stand it, and I can't blame others. I am a man with high ambitions. I just want to marry a wife who can stand on the table. If you can see someone, you can get it. A real female doctor. I don't dislike her, and I am afraid she will too. I am immature and ignorant, where can I find a wife? Either a waitress in a restaurant—not writing novels, there is no reason to seek such happiness, or someone else’s wife—”

"Or a mistress—" I continued, laughing out loud. Jia Ming is a loyal person, he rarely criticizes anything or anyone, it is really rare to be mean to women wantonly now, and he gets home with meanness, I laughed and laughed, laughed and laughed. I have only one friend left. Bill has been very silent in recent days. He said that the center of my conversations is always inseparable from Jiaming. I said, "It's no wonder, I've only seen him in total." Later, I felt that this was a complaint, so I immediately shut up. I found a good job, so I didn't have to send money from home.These days, I can say whatever I want, no matter how much I depend on Bill spiritually, I am financially independent.

Then there's trouble again. This time it was Bill's daughter who came to the door, a very beautiful girl, fourteen or fifteen years old, and declared that she was looking for me. She asked sharply, "Do you remember me?" I nodded, "You're the girl who said that coffee can tell whether it rings or not." she laughed. I think the world has become like this, everyone can come to the door, who knows if she will cry or fight, after a while, Bill's nurse, Bill's uncle's cousin's cousin's cousin's brother-in-law should all come to the door up.

I didn't ring and looked at the girl.She had grown up, was beautiful, composed and beautiful, and seemed milder than her mother.Of course Mrs Naveen has reasons for hating me, and I don't blame her. I asked, "Your mother—okay?" "Okay, thank you. She's doing better now. Dad never comes back. He just calls us out. Mom hates you. She thinks you do it on purpose. Some women like to destroy other people's families." "Believe me, I didn't mean to," I said. "I don't know, but if you do it on purpose, you won't get there because Mom won't agree to divorce Dad." I was shocked, "Didn't they sign it?" "When?" the little girl asked me back, "Daddy just packs up his things and leaves. Mom won't agree to divorce him. You've been a mistress all your life—it's really not worth it. We try to spend Daddy's money every month. You are naked, so you don’t need a penny. Dad is suffering from a severe headache now. You are so beautiful, and you don’t have to worry about finding a boyfriend. Why do you follow Dad? Our family fought against you, and you finally You'll be exhausted, you won't succeed." "But I'm with him, he's not with you," I said. "But—are you happy? We are not happy, but you are not happy either, how can you be happy? You are not a black hearted person, what do you think, the four of us in our family are unhappy because of you, family How can you be happy when you are scattered and dead?" I watched her silently. She is right, this girl is very gentle, but very powerful, will I be happy?I'm not that kind of person. "My mother won't divorce my father. We'll drag him for life," Bill's daughter said. "Why? Why did you make your father miserable?" I asked. The little girl said firmly: "Because she saw Dad first! You shouldn't steal other people's things! Because Dad promised in church, he promised to be my mother's husband forever in front of God and the pastor!" "But he regrets it now," I said. "Some things cannot be regretted! He is not a good person, think about it." "I've thought about it." "Will you leave him?" she asked. "Will he leave me?" I asked. "He won't find the end of the sky for you—if that's what you mean!" She was dead calm. I am amazed how she can be so mature.That's exactly what I had in mind.Bill wouldn't even go to Hong Kong for me. The little girl continued: "Mom said that he was just on vacation. After almost a year, he should be tired of it." Holiday, he will go home sooner or later after the holiday?If he refuses to divorce, that’s what he meant. I’m very tired. After all, it’s been so long. I’m a little confused about the outcome of this matter. Now it seems that there is no result, but so what? ?I did it voluntarily, and I kept expressing my generosity, and I did it voluntarily. I have no anger, no resentment, I'm just tired, I just want to sleep well, and nothing else.He always has his reasons, right?Or maybe he's figuring it out too. "But I want to tell you one thing. My mother wrote a letter to the Ministry of Education, saying that my father's behavior is not suitable for being a principal, and asked me to bring you a copy. If you don't leave him, he will be unemployed. gone." I was shocked, not for me, but for Mrs. Navan.Really, a jealous woman can do anything, what good does it do her?She just wanted me to leave him. "Here's a copy of the letter, I'm leaving, you've been very good to me, thank you." "you're welcome." "We will all be grateful for you leaving my father," she said. I looked at her silently, and after a while I said: "When you grow up in the future, you may believe me. Now there are five people including you, and it is me who has lost the most: my youth." "I believe that you are so good-looking, don't sacrifice any more. My mother, she doesn't quite understand, and I, I just hope that when I grow up in the future, I won't fall in love with a married man. Goodbye." she left. I read the letter from her mother. That letter is simple and powerful. If it is sent to the Ministry of Education, Bill Navan's personality will become a problem. Of course, his work will be affected to some extent. The life of the British is boring. I hope some news will come out. Everyone has fun, Bill's trouble It is infinite. This is a very powerful move. I don't know what Bill will think.He has worked in the university for more than ten years and worked hard to get to where he is today. If I implicate him, he will hate me for the rest of his life.The British want face too much, and he is not determined to divorce his wife, probably because of his career in the university.I can't scare him and say, "Bill! You don't love me! If you love me, get a divorce. Don't be afraid of this woman." He's a man with a head, he'll think.I have other women after I leave, will he still eat after leaving that job? I simply admit defeat and give up on him? I have no idea. do i still love himWhat's the point of going on like this? I put the letter away.Mrs. Navan showed me the letter instead of asking me to give it to Bill, maybe she thought I would show it to him, but I didn't. I'm going to find Jiaming. Jia Ming said, "Your mother...does she have any news?" I shrugged, "I'm here for another thing." I said it. Jiaming said: "Unless you really love him, you can't live without him. That's another matter, but who can't live? They are an old couple playing tricks. Together, they are nearly a hundred years old. Every day Beating children is also idle, now you send them to your door to have fun and excitement, you have your identity and youth, why go to be buried in a lower-middle-class British family? It was just lonely at first, you were still a child, It’s been more than a year, and you’re so eager to stop and competitive, I’ll let it go, Joe.” I was terrified. "Do you really believe that he loves you?" Jia Ming asked, "It turns out that you don't have to be too demanding, and his feelings for you are enough to last a lifetime of husband and wife, but true love is not like this. Well, it’s not good after all, although it is said that being a man is for oneself, for oneself, so you can’t mess around, think about it, take this opportunity, you go home.” I stared blankly at Jiaming.I said slowly: "If I go back, there will be no results at all." He smiled gently, "If you don't go back, there will be no results. If you leave all at once, you will have another ladder to step down. It's for his own good. This is true, and it's also for your own good, right?" Just walk away?I thought in horror: No Bill? "Joe, I'll write to you, and I'll be right back." He was as gentle as ever. "Can you... show him the letter? Let him make a decision?" "Joe, you also know his decision. People are the most vulnerable to the test. Why bother. I never persuaded you or begged you for anything, but this time, you listen to me and go back, you won't I regret it." "Mom, will she forgive me?" "She can't kill you!" "No, you don't understand her—" "I've already laid the blame on me. I'm not worried about how I will see her in the future. What are you worried about?" "Jiaming—" I was so moved that I couldn't speak. "Go back and think about it, and I'll take you home." When I got home, because of Jia Ming, I was indeed a little bit shaken. It's hard to control my mind once it shakes, I want to go back. But how?If you really want to leave, you don't have to discuss it with him.Discussing with him is just to hope that he will keep me, that he will sacrifice everything and divorce immediately.If I really want to leave, I will pack up my suitcase and leave tomorrow, so why bother to tell him? He and his wife dragged it slowly. What does it matter if they dragged it from forty to fifty? I was done when I dragged it from twenty to thirty.I don't blame him, and I don't blame his wife either, I suddenly want to leave now. I have so little stuff that if I were to go, one suitcase would suffice.If he really loves me, even if he can't find me, he will naturally come to Hong Kong. He came back at night, and I looked at his face, and he was indeed the one I loved once, and now—I'm grown up. Bill said, "Joe, I had a dream last night. I dreamed that I was getting married to you in church. I wanted to put a wedding ring on you, but you refused because you said I was too old." I couldn't help it, but I still smiled, and I said, "How can you put a ring on my finger, and you are not divorced." He was startled. After all, he was an older person, very calm, without showing any signs of expression, did not continue the topic, did not ask why, just perfunctory.It turned out that he had been perfunctory me.He likes me, but that's all he likes. Old people have this bad thing. They are in a state of numbness in everything. It's not easy for me to cheer him up for a while. He will naturally get a divorce, and if he is divorced, he will naturally remarry. The person who will remarry is probably me, but he wants to wait for his wife to sign the contract naturally, and he dare not force her. I don't say anything. I booked a flight home the next day. When he went to the university, Jiaming came to help me clean up. I said, "I'm going to stay with you for a few days. They don't have a ticket, and their ticket is only a week away. I decided to leave. It doesn't make sense for me to hang around for another seven days. Please help me to the end. Stay at your house for a few days." Jiaming nodded. I only packed a few pieces of clothing, and the rest were discarded. Before I left, I sat on the bed and smoked, and said to Jiaming: "Do you believe in fate? At the beginning, Lu Fei came to him for a hundred thousand miles, but now he left without a sound. There was no reason when I came, just go It doesn't matter when it's time. He only owes me these days, and I owe him only these days." Jiaming listened, then put on my clothes for me, and I left. When I left, I put the letter from his wife on his desk. Jia Ming drove me to his house, and I didn't even cry. I slept on Jiaming's bed for more than ten hours at a time, and I slept with peace of mind. I have never been so comfortable.Jiaming and I eat bread at home. I thought: he should see the letter now. He should know why I'm leaving. I really went for that letter?not necessarily. Did I really accept Jiaming's advice before leaving?not necessarily. I'm tired.I left when I was tired. Jiaming said: "My place is very simple, don't be surprised, there are only two small rooms, if you like which one, you can sleep in it." "I like it here," I said. I was walking around in his pajamas, and I was afraid to go out into the street for fear of being seen by Bill, so I had to hide at home.Too lazy to open the suitcase, just wear his sweater pants pajamas. Jiaming bought food and came back every day, and we had a big meal. I often wanted to call Bill when my family was away and listen to his voice, hoping that he would beg me to go back on the phone. I also hoped that the doorbell would ring, and when I opened the door, it was him standing outside the door, and then he begged me not to leave, and I still wanted to leave, but he saved my face by begging.I want to go more lively, not so silent. But he didn't show up and I didn't call. In the beginning, Bill and I really had a blast.Will not stand the test of time. I didn't cry. I squatted in the room during the day and read Jiaming's Chinese magazines and newspapers, and chatted with him at night. He said: "Joe, I still have a few months to finish my dissertation. I'll come back to see you right away after I finish my ceremony." I smile.He is so kind to me, I am afraid it is owed by the previous life. To be honest, there is no way to explain such things as feelings, so we have to push them to the previous life. There are so many feelings that are obviously unreasonable. He suddenly said casually, "Are you leaving tomorrow?" "Yes, four o'clock in the afternoon." "Actually, it's very easy for Bill Navan to find you. You just need to find the passenger list of the major airlines, and we'll stop you at the airport." He smiled. I don't ring. "He must also have your address in Hong Kong. He can see you when he returns to Hong Kong." I also smiled, "Maybe he is also happy to take this opportunity: 'Look, she left first, after all, she is young and can't hold back her breath.'" "Then you can also say: 'His wife is too powerful, I have to leave for his future, for his own good.'" I laugh out loud. How many reasons can you think of for the emotional instability? The next day he drove me to the airport, and Bill Nafein wasn't even a sign.He is a top-notch expert, I'm afraid he has already reunited with his family by now. Before entering the restricted area, Jia Ming suddenly said, "Joe, can you do something for me?" I wanted to ask what it was, but after a second thought, he had done so much for me, so I was afraid of losing money, so I immediately replied: "Jia Ming, you agreed, anything." He said, "I have a ring, please put it back on your finger until I get back, will you?" I was stunned. "You promised, you can't go back on it." He took out the previous ring and put it on my finger. I kept silent, yes, I promised him. I know what he means. "It's time," he said. "Goodbye, Jiaming." I said. "Goodbye." I walked into the waiting room, finally lost my composure, and called Bill Navan. He came to answer the phone, and he was still in the mood to go to work!His voice didn't change at all, and he asked calmly, "Which one? Which one?" He didn't have a trace of sadness, and a trace of anger flashed in my heart, but then calmed down.Yes, he seemed to be fine, but I didn't scream, why did I ask him to die of pain?People are always selfish. He asked on the other end of the phone: "Who is it? Who is it?" I put the phone down, sighed, and hung up the phone. The less one knows, the better. I got on the plane, but took a nap, and there I was. When I was applying powder, I saw the small scar on my eye in the small mirror, and I murmured: "Yes, teacher." Mom showed up at the airport and I was taken aback. Who notified her? She was still angry, she said: "Jiaming said he begged you, you reconciled? Let me see, um, the ring is put on again. I don't care about his parents, and I won't spare him. He made a long distance call yesterday. I didn't answer the phone call, but Mrs. Zhang begged me, saying that it was a temporary mistake and asked us to forgive him. What can I do? My daughter has forgiven him, so I can still be mad at him? This boy, when he gets married in the future, Be careful." I am silent.Jiaming is a ghost, everything is arranged seamlessly, now he has committed all the crimes, how can I see him? Mom said: "You came back this time to prepare for the wedding, right? Jia Ming said he would come back in three months. You too, why didn't you call yourself and asked him to call instead. Jia Ming sent a letter to apologize when you had an accident, Said he was wrong, he shouldn't go dancing with foreign girls, you saw him, so—" My eyes turned red, and I cried, "Mom, it's none of his business, I misunderstood, I was too anxious, it's not true—he's a good man, Mom, he's a good man." "Oh! Why do you need to help him so much? Who doesn't know that he is a good person? It's you who quarreled, reconciled, and it's also you. As adults, we only have to be frightened. Now that we are healed, why are you crying?" "Mom, please don't blame him, it's all my fault." "Okay, okay, everything is up to you, why are you crying like this? You've lost your nerve, look, there are veins on your forehead, don't cry!" However, my tears could not stop. I was so exhausted from crying that I went home and fell asleep. When I woke up, my mother whispered to my father: "—Joe said it was a misunderstanding, maybe Jia Ming also—" "I'm just saying you're too nervous, oh, let's get them married," Dad said. Mom said: "I will discuss it with Mrs. Zhang tomorrow." I answered Jiaming's call: "Joe, just marry me." I cried: "I really don't deserve you, and you will blame me in the future." He said: "In the future, if I utter the truth after drinking and confess to you, how I fooled around with the ghost girl, and you don't kill me with a knife, then I will be worthy of me." I cried and said, "Long-distance calls are so expensive, you are talking nonsense." "Joe, promise me, okay?" "Jiaming, you can talk about this when you come back, I really can't do it, I really can't do it." He said: "Joe, you don't need to worry about everything. Don't you believe in fate? This is fate." "Jiaming—" "You don't believe I love you?" I cried with guilt. Mrs. Zhang and my mother started having sex vigorously, and I felt like I was dreaming. I even bought the wedding dress, but I still don't believe it is true. I like Jiaming, and it is not difficult to fall in love with him, but I really haven't put a little thought into him, he seems to be a treasure that fell from the sky, I'm afraid that as soon as I pick it up in my hand, the dream will wake up. I rely on it. Mom became suspicious, "Joe, you are so lazy in everything, is it because you have something wrong with your body?" "Mom, where did you go?" I frowned. She blushed. Aunt Zhang is outrageous, platinum watches, gold bracelets, what is the price of gold now, she is so ostentatious.My mother was also extravagant, and she made twelve cheongsams for me alone. Dad smiled and said: "Okay, when our daughter is married, we two will drink northwest wind when we grow old." I was still skeptical, at a loss, and only hoped that Jiaming would come back. Sometimes when I saw foreign men on the street, I was terrified. I was afraid that Bill Navan had found me and came to Hong Kong, and I was frightened to death.Worrying like this made me sick all of a sudden. I lay in bed with a high fever. Jia Ming handed in his thesis, finished the oral exam, and came back before the graduation ceremony. He sat by my bed and said, "Joe, what's wrong with you?" Mom half-truthfully glanced at Jia Ming and said, "It's all because of you." When I heard this, my heart ached and I cried, "Mom, please don't say such things." Mom regretted it too, "Yes, I was wrong." She walked away. I regretted: "She doesn't know anything, don't blame her, just blame me." Jiaming said: "It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, don't worry, don't worry." His voice was still so gentle. I cried and cried and cried and cried. He is with me all the time. I just live by holding his hand. He even eats by my bedside. Dad said, "Hell, those two kids are going crazy, but they're going to grow old together." My fever subsided, I lost a lot of weight, and my dress had to be made smaller again. Aunt Zhang said: "Hey, the face is so thin that only two eyes are left." I said to Jia Mingmeng: "Have you thought it through? Are you really thinking it through?" It was a mess. Mom said: "The tailor is really in a hurry to meet the slow doctor, we have sent out all the posts!" I was almost paralyzed. Jia Ming said, "Don't worry, Joe." I finally found one night and sat quietly in the study with him, talking all night. "Jia Ming, did you hear anything before you came?" I asked. "I know what you mean, no. I haven't seen him. He finally divorced. I heard that his wife divorced him as soon as she heard that you were gone, saying that he was worthless, not a man, and failed you. .” I was surprised, "This woman has such guts, isn't she afraid of me going back?" "Why do you go back after you leave?" "What about the letter?" "It's still submitted, and it's a mess." I suddenly became frightened, "He—he wouldn't come here to look for me, would he?" "I'm not afraid of him if you come here." Jia Ming said firmly. I wept in a daze, and now I was afraid of him like a plague god. Jiaming sighed, "Joe, don't cry, it feels like my heart is broken when you cry." We went to register our marriage, and it went unbelievably well. Then there is the wedding. I'm not in favor of going on a honeymoon.I couldn't believe it was true. I was wearing Jiaming's pajamas, lying on his bed, and he was sleeping in the study.Then I received a letter from Bill Navan, and when my mother handed it to me, she said, "A letter from a British friend." I opened it with trembling hands, and there were only two simple lines in it: "I wish you a happy wedding. Please forgive me. I have to say so much that I don't know where to start. My best wishes, Bill Navan." It was Jiaming who informed him, and a big stone was relieved in my heart.No one knows about this incident except Jia Ming and me, but it has disappeared so quickly, what should I say?I don't know what to say. I started to settle down, though, and I started adding a cushion to the couch at home, and had the maids move appliances in the kitchen to new locations. For Jiaming, I am a little afraid of him, he is the one who knows my secret. His new job hasn't started yet, so I sometimes play table tennis with him, and sometimes go to a show. My mother said: "Joe has changed this time when she came back. She is a little nervous. She is very nervous. She feels uneasy if she doesn't see Jiaming for a moment. She is silent when Jiaming is by her side. What's the matter?" She doesn't know, she doesn't know my story. Sometimes when I look at Jiaming, I feel that one day he will calculate me. He is too smart. I can’t say anything at that time. He will arrange things seamlessly, just like he arranged for me. Just like his marriage, who knows if it was his idea that my mother went to England for the first time, I was just a pawn of his. Every time I play table tennis with him, he lets me win and I win, and he tells me to lose and I lose. I began to understand the reason why he wanted to marry me. I had a clue in his hands, and I would listen to him, or did I think too badly of him?In fact, he is very good to me?I have no idea?I dare not guess. I have never been in love with him, and we became husband and wife.It's not bad to be a chess piece. The future of a person is unpredictable. He arranges everything for me, my future and my present.My past is also in his hands. When I was pregnant, he told me with certainty: "We will be a boy this time." I believe it will be a boy, and no one dares to resist him. Suddenly one day in the sun, I was walking in the garden, and I didn't regret the two years I had been with Bill Navan.It was a love, a real love.But now, I am happy, I seem to be a person without complaints.