Chapter 9 Chapter 8 The past is only time

It’s not surprising that Xindi would come here. She lives nearby, and the owner of this bar, Afeng, is her good friend. In her own words, this is the safest place for her to “drink a little wine and go crazy.” , Not only can you sign the bill at a discount, but if you get drunk, Afeng will also promise to send her home. But Lu Fei is someone Xin Chen didn't expect to meet tonight and didn't want to meet. Xin Di blinked at Xin Chen, and Xin Chen nodded to greet them. Bruce smiled and said, "Are you friends? Do you want to sit together?" "It's my cousin and her friend, no need."

"I seem to have seen that person somewhere." Bruce was a little puzzled, but he thought, this man is graceful, with a gentle temperament and restrained brilliance, so outstanding, there is no reason to see him but he forgot in a blink of an eye, just shook his head with a smile. Xin Di and Lu Fei sat on the other side, and Lu Fei glanced over again, his expression was different from his usual calm, and the meaning was a bit unclear.But Xin Chen didn't want to talk about him, "What did you just say, by the way, on foot. If possible, I would go on a self-guided trip to Europe. The place I would like to go is Prague, and I bought a book specially. It's called "Starting Self-Guided Travel in the Czech Republic", and it looks very interesting. Austria, let's talk about it."

"Then it's okay for me to prepare for the Czech Republic when I go back. Let's make an appointment. Can we take next summer vacation? Don't leave me alone." "You still have to travel with me. The last time was bad enough. I broke your collarbone. Both of you almost lost your life." "Didn't you come back from a dead end? Acacia, that is the most precious experience in my life, and I will cherish it forever." Bruce once again made an affectionate expression. "I can't stand you, stop playing. My cousin is over there. She will ask me to explain later, but I can't tell."

"It's easy to explain. Tell her the truth. I am your loyal admirer. I have spent a few unforgettable days and nights with you. I have lived and died together. After that, I will confess my love to you about once every other month, sometimes Wong Kar Wai style, sometimes Stephen Chow style, sometimes classical affectionate, sometimes postmodern wild, but you never buy my account." Xin Chen smiled helplessly, "Bruce, it's very dangerous for you to make psychological hints like this. Be careful to change from joking to half-truth, and then you can't figure out the truth."

Bruce stared at her, the cluster of candlelight on the table reflected in his eyes, flickering, "Maybe what I said is true, not a joke." Xin Chen jokingly put up a finger, making a warning gesture, "I will be good to my friends, Bruce, but I am cruel to those who love me, don't fall in love with me." Lu Fei didn't expect that when Xindi came to relax, he would meet Xinchen and a beautiful boy sitting together intimately, especially this boy was not a stranger to him.He seemed to have never seen Xin Chen with such bright makeup. Under the dim and flickering candlelight, she smiled beautifully, strangely and ethereally.

Over there, Xin Chen and Bruce sat for a while, drank the wine in front of them, got up to pay the bill, nodded and said hello to them, and left. Lu Fei was uninterested and didn't speak, just drank the wine in a dull mood. "Is this how men are jealous?" Xin Di is probably the only friend who can talk and laugh with Lu Fei. Lu Fei doesn't mind her teasing, so he just smiled wryly, "There are some things you don't know, Xiao Di." "Yeah, I don't know too many things. Sometimes I think, is my life completely out of touch with everyone else?" Xin Di raised her head and drank a big gulp of beer, "When I was in middle school, sit next to me I didn’t know anything about the girl who was in love with the boy sitting behind me. Later, the class teacher and her old man got angry and asked them to write a self-criticism. I didn’t know this romance that happened under my nose. I’m in college, the person in love Don't pay attention to being low-key and mysterious, my senior sister has been unrequitedly in love with the school girl for several years, it is said that passers-by know her good intentions, but I only found out after chatting with her."

The school grass is naturally David Fan. Xin Di’s senior sister is currently doing men’s clothing design in Fujian, and she has developed well. Xin Di used to go on business trips, and most of them would meet with her to exchange design experience and talk about interesting things in the industry. That time I heard the senior sister Talking about their childhood thoughts through drinking, the two still laughed at each other.The senior sister has let go of the past, and she simply thinks that with a talent like the senior sister, "what's so good about unrequited love for a peacock that spreads its wings".

"It doesn't make any sense to know these things, does it?" "It's boring, life is too ordinary, these things are interesting little embellishments." "After all, it's someone else's life, and it doesn't have much to do with me." "But my own life is the same. Last year at a class reunion, a boy who went to Hong Kong to settle down suddenly confessed to me. He has always liked me and gestured to me many times, but I didn't respond. The students around him even booed and said They all saw it." Xin Di was a little annoyed at the mention of this matter, not sure whether it was to the boy who was too reserved or to himself who was too slow.She didn't feel sorry for missing the possible development with that boy who didn't leave any impression, but she really felt that her life was too blank except for study and work.

Lu Fei put another bottle of beer in front of her, "Why do you suddenly think of so many irrelevant things?" "I'm reflecting on whether I'm naturally insensitive to feelings. Even my mother can see what happened between you and Chenzi, but I'm completely at a loss." Lu Fei smiled, "What did Auntie see?" Xin Di didn't want to repeat the harsh words her mother said, so she just shrugged her shoulders, "In short, I'm a late bloomer and I feel cold, so there's no way out." "That's not true, but Auntie has always protected you very well." Lu Fei thought silently in his heart, unlike Xin Chen, who had no protection and was exposed to a world that was too realistic for a child too early.

"Yeah, she protected me..." Xin Di originally wanted to say "a 28-year-old holy virgin", but she finally retracted in time, thinking that this is also my mother's words, it is unfair, in front of that guy David Fan It's shameful enough to be frank, could it be that being a virgin makes you lose your mind?She could only sigh, "Protection has become an emotional idiot." "How are you an idiot, you are so bright." Lu Fei smiled. Xin Di waved his hand, "Pull it down, this doesn't sound like consolation or sarcasm. But there is one thing I have to ask you. You are acting very strange when you come back this time. You have been studying and working abroad for almost four years. I have been working in Beijing for three years. I know that I am not good at arithmetic. It has been seven years. This is not a short period of time. You have almost never contacted Chenzi during the period. You would not think that she would like it because she was sixteen or seventeen. If you don’t want to, why don’t you just play cold kiln and wait for you silently? You also know that there are always many people who pursue her.”

Lu Fei and Xin Di have known each other since kindergarten, and she is also the friend he has kept in touch with the longest. He didn't want to hide anything from her, but he didn't know where to start, and he paused for a while before saying: "It's not you As you think, Xiaodi, I have never been so arrogant, and I have no right to ask Xiaochen for anything." "Do you want to pursue Tatsuko?" "If she still gives me a chance." "I have to say, you really missed the best time. You can't help it when you are abroad, but when you returned to China three years ago, you should have stayed and told her directly. Why did you hear that she went to Xi'an for a trip? I didn’t want to wait too long, so I immediately changed my ticket and returned to Beijing in advance, and I haven’t come back for three years? I used to send emails and call me from time to time to tell me where I was, but I haven’t contacted me very much in the past three years.” "Something happened, Xiaodi." After a long time, he continued, "Besides, I just learned something I should have known a long time ago." Of course Xin Di was curious, but she knew that he didn't want to go into details, and she didn't want to ask, she didn't like such a heavy atmosphere, "I can't stand you, you act like you suddenly fell in love." "I've been stuck in it for a long time, and I've been stuck in it all the time, but I don't even know it." Lu Fei's voice was deep, and accompanied by the low jazz music in the room, Xin Di only felt a subtle turmoil in her heart. She asked casually, and she didn't expect that Lu Fei, who never confessed his thoughts easily, would explain anything, but he didn't expect him to be like this today Straightforward. Xin Di looked at the corner where Xin Chen was sitting just now, it was empty.She sighed again, picked up the beer bottle, gulped it down, then put down the bottle, raised her head to the ceiling and smiled, "Lu Fei, it turns out that when you also wanted to be infatuated, you were not always so cautious as if you were born and matured. I'm not mistaken, my Chenzi was indeed invincible in Girls' Generation." Lu Fei had long been used to her weird and different angle of seeing things, so he only smiled wryly.Fascinated?This word is really accurate for him, facing such a sunny smile, such soft lips, such brave eyes without fear and hesitation, he is indeed contrary to reason, confused and lost. "But Chenzi has changed a lot." Xin Di said softly, still looking at the ceiling. Who can change it?Even in her eyes, David Fan, who has been playing around in the world, still sighs that "no one can stay young and frivolous all the way".And she herself accepted the rules of the workplace unknowingly, learned to compromise, and did the same thing every quarter. While trying her best to advocate her own design, she also integrated the opinions of the entire design department to revise the final draft. This repeated process is like a seesaw. The same back and forth abrasion, has already unconsciously changed her. But facing Xin Chen, seeing that her cousin who was once full of vigor and self-willedness has now become calm, generous, refined and decent, Xin Di only feels puzzled. Find that kind of unrestrained and unrestrained in your own design. However, Xin Chen's change came unconsciously, at least there was no major event, no dramatic change like turning white overnight.Xin Di's father only thought that the change in his niece, which he had always favored, was "the girl has grown up and become more sensible". Even Li Xin, who had always disliked Xin Chen, reluctantly nodded in agreement with this statement. Xin Di once again felt powerless about her memory and observation of feelings. "Chenzi doesn't care much about anything now, he's not as sharp as before, and he can even be called tolerant." Lu Fei had seen that casual smile during the day, "Is her work going well these few years?" "Fortunately, when she graduated from university, my father arranged for her a job as a typist in a public institution on his own initiative, saying that there was a chance to transfer to a formal establishment. She went to the class for less than a month, and followed My dad said she didn't want to do it." Thinking of the past, Xin Di laughed. Her parents were very upset about it, but she could understand that Xin Chen, who worked as a typist in a dispirited unit, would probably only be able to stay for three days at most if it were her, "she said She was self-willed this time only, and then went to Xi'an for half a month, then found a job by herself after returning, and then started to take on graphic design and image processing work at home, and she has done very well, and her income is also good." Xin Di was startled suddenly, she realized for the first time that since then, Xin Chen really has no willfulness, and later even agreed to go on a blind date according to her father's arrangement, which surprised her. When mentioning that "trip to Xi'an", Lu Fei was silent, and what Xin Chen said during the day came to his mind. "My life is not your responsibility." "I never made myself anyone's responsibility after that." When speaking, Xin Chen didn't look at him, his voice and expression were exhausted and helpless. But in Girls' Generation, Xin Chen was not like this. At that time, she looked straight into his eyes with stubbornness, and said word by word clearly: "I will not care about being anyone's responsibility." What she said, she really did.Maybe he forced her to do it, is this what he wanted?From the first time she kissed his lips, everything changed in a fleeting time, everything changed, and everything was changed. After the summer night when Xin Chen kissed Lu Fei for the first time, she never asked him if she was his girlfriend, maybe in her view, this was not a question at all. Lu Fei never directly admitted that Xin Chen was his girlfriend. A 4-year age gap is not a big deal, but for a 19-year-old sophomore boy, having a 15-year-old girlfriend who is still in high school is still a psychological obstacle. Especially Lu Fei has always been rigorous and rational, and he came home with that sweet but superficial kiss. He lost sleep, his eyes opened and closed, and there was only that beautiful and smiling face. He even looked up information on the Internet, flipped through psychology books, sat in on psychology professors' lectures, read Nabokov's famous novel, and checked whether he was a pedophile.Don't talk about this kind of worry to his parents, even to his close sister Lu Shi who is 8 years old, or his close friend Xin Di, who is about the same age and has always been, he can't confide in it. Lu is not resting or on vacation, as long as there is nothing to do, he will call Xinchen.If Xin Kaiyu is not at home, he will come to accompany her.When they were together, he mostly helped her with her homework, and at most watched a movie with her.Xin Chen has grown up, but he is still a child after all, he has no desire for lust, and is only satisfied with a stable and safe hug once in a while; while Lu Fei is restrained, he said to himself, she is almost 16 years old, He can wait for her to grow up, and the process of growing up with her is also very beautiful. He did restrain his words and deeds according to the standard of having a girlfriend, and chose to ignore any girl's advances and not respond. Ding Xiaoqing, a girl from the same department who has always been in love with Lu Fei, finally couldn't hold back her thoughts and confessed to him directly. He said politely, "I'm sorry, I don't want to think about this right now." "But this doesn't conflict with your studies at all. It just gives us a chance to deepen our understanding and see if there is any possibility of development." He could only say: "I already have a girl I like." Ding Xiaoqing didn't believe this pretext, so she lowered her face, "Lu Fei, you can refuse me directly, and you don't have to prevaricate with someone who doesn't exist. We have been classmates for more than a year, and we have never seen you date any girl." "I won't make a fiction about this matter. She doesn't study in this school, but she does exist." His expression and voice maintained his usual calmness, so Ding Xiaoqing had no choice but to give up. Of course she exists, and she has such a strong sense of existence. Thinking of her is like a wind blowing without knowing the direction, making my heart wrinkled like a pool of spring water, with such subtle and soft fluctuations.Lu Fei thought. Lu Fei never told Xin Chen about other girls' gestures to him, and Xin Chen didn't even realize that such a situation might happen. She would say from time to time: "Zheng Yitao passed me a note again, and I was almost caught by the teacher. It's really annoying." This Zheng Yitao is the 100-meter champion, and he has been persevering to her. "The day before yesterday, a boy stopped me at the school gate and asked me to go to the movies. It was ridiculous. I didn't even know him." She didn't mean to show off at all, she just reported the little things in her life to Lu Fei. Or with a straight face, he said: "Ms. Wu criticized me for not talking too much with my male classmates, causing them to be inattentive. Is it my fault? They are obviously the ones who came to strike up a conversation with me." Lu Fei didn't think those little boys were a threat, and he also agreed that the teacher was unfair to her, but he could only say: "You concentrate on your studies, and the teacher sees your efforts, so naturally he won't think that you have used your mind elsewhere." Xin Chen laughed, "No, I don't like studying, and I don't want to use this method to prove my innocence." It is true that Xin Chen has never put all his attention on his studies. He is satisfied with his homework and his grades. This makes Lu Fei, who is quite inclined towards perfection, a headache. There are quite a lot of fallacies, most of which come from her father who doesn't know what to do and who doesn't know what to do. Seeing her tilting her head to read comic books or movie pictorials, her slender legs wrapped in jeans hanging on the armrest of the wicker chair, her slippers thrown aside, and her feet dangling in thick wool socks printed with cartoon patterns, there is absolutely no shape but She looked so innocent and lazy, he thought, well, she has a reason, not all happiness comes from the norms he has already accepted. He quietly came to this city in early spring. The university Lu Fei studied at has one of the most beautiful campuses in China. Every spring, cherry blossoms are in full bloom. Xin Chen proposed to see the cherry blossoms. I hesitated a bit.Is it wise to hold the hand of a beautiful girl who has just turned 16 and go around when your school is busiest?I don't know what my classmates think. As a result, he called Xin Di and asked her to come over and meet on the morning of the weekend. Xin Di regarded this invitation as a spring outing plus an inter-school friendship, and called seven or eight male and female students to come together. The students from the Fashion Design Department of the Academy of Fine Arts dressed up in all kinds of strange ways, and they walked in groups, which were very eye-catching. I can't laugh or cry. Xin Chen who jumped off the bus a little later was not surprised. She was actually a child, and she didn’t have the idea of ​​dominating anyone or having to be alone. She was happy to see how lively the crowd was, and she was quite fond of their weird costumes. accept.And they naturally took good care of this beautiful and lively little sister, and immediately some male classmates came up to ask questions. Instead, Lu Fei fell behind. He was a little ashamed of his own thoughts, but also a little regretful. As the warm breeze blows, the petals of cherry blossoms covering the top of the tree like pink smoke flutter down one after another, reminding Lu Fei of the summer when she first met Xin Chen, when she hugged the trunk of a chrysanthemum tree and shook it to make a rain of flowers.He couldn't help thinking that if it was just him and her at this moment, how great it would be if he could reach out and brush the petals off the black hair. It was Xin Di who brushed off the petals for Xin Chen. Of course, it can’t be just him and her. The cherry blossom season has made this school a local public tourist attraction. The school has even started selling tickets at several gates in the past few days, in the name of limiting the number of tourists and protecting the public. The school's resources and teaching order have aroused a lot of discussion. The local newspaper even set up a special discussion section to interview the citizens' opinions on this move, but none of this can stop everyone's enthusiasm for viewing the flowers. The cherry blossom road in the school is crowded with tourists, tourists posing for pictures everywhere, Xin Di and her classmates who study art are a little bit uninterested, Lu Fei is about to take them to other places in the school, when they run into the same Ding Xiaoqing and several other classmates who came to enjoy the flowers. Xin Chen was persuaded by Xin Di's classmate to take a photo while Ding Xiaoqing thought that Xin Di, who was joking with Lu Fei familiarly, was his mysterious girlfriend, and was a little disappointed.Because their intimacy is obvious, she has never seen Lu Fei smiling at others like this; at the same time, she has hope, the Xin Di in front of her is small and has a baby face, which is cute at best, and in her opinion, it does not suit her. Lufei, who is equally outstanding in appearance and innards. Ding Xiaoqing greeted them generously, and at the same time looked at Xin Di with deep meaning, "Lu Fei has already mentioned you to us, we all want to meet you." Before Xin Di could speak, her classmates started booing: "Xin Di, that's amazing, you are already famous outside of school, and you said that the award you just won is not important." Xin Chen first asked curiously: "What award did you win, Dizi, tell me quickly." The classmate next to him told Xin Chen that it was a local design competition named after a company. Although it was only an unconventional competition in the nature of advertising sponsorship, it was amazing to win an award just in his sophomore year. Lu Fei looked at Xin Di with a smile, his eyes were full of praise, and Xin Di's expectations for himself were far more than that, without any conceit, he just smiled and said: "Come on, don't exaggerate, how can you be such a braggart?" , those who didn’t know thought I had already gone to the International Fashion Week for a press conference.” Xin Di's tone was confident and high-spirited, with a frightening attitude, Ding Xiaoqing was speechless for a moment. Lu Fei knew that Ding Xiaoqing had misunderstood, but he thought, that's fine, he didn't intend to explain, and then he took a group of people to have a good tour of the large-scale campus covering several thousand acres, and then took them to the campus After dinner in the restaurant, they were sent away, and finally only he and Xin Chen were left. He sent Xin Chen home, and the two got into a taxi. He asked Xin Chen, "Are you happy?" Xin Chen nodded heavily. He stared at this childish and happy face, feeling a little guilty, "I will definitely play with you next time." But she was surprised, "You've been with me for a long time, how can you spend more time with me?" Then thoughtfully, "Your school is really big and beautiful. The library and complex look very impressive." He took advantage of the situation to induce her: "Then you should work hard and try to get into this school, so we can be together more." She laughed out loud, "Even if I pass the exam, you will graduate." "I can choose this school to study in graduate school." His older sister Lu Shi went abroad to study after graduating from university. He knew that his parents were going to send him to study abroad, so there was no problem with his grades.But he thought that it would be okay to go abroad after finishing his graduate studies, and he could even take Xin Chen out with him. Thinking of this prospect, he smiled. Xin Chen likes the smiling and gentle expression of this proud and calm boy, and likes his dark and deep eyes looking at her so intently, which makes her feel at ease and indulged.In contrast, the indifference to study seems to be overcome, she nodded, "Okay, I will try." The drive home was not too short, she leaned against him and quickly fell asleep.He tried his best to sit upright so that she could lean more comfortably. The wind blew through the half-opened car window, and her hair fluttered, brushing his face and heart gently. At this moment, sitting in this bar with a low space, dim lights, and low-pitched jazz music, Lu Fei felt a strong sense of time passing for the first time. Nine years have passed since then.The childhood playmate who drank with himself has now become a well-known fashion designer, and he has been studying and working all the way, and he has lived a 9-to-5 elite life that he thinks he has a clear goal; The girl also has a solid and legitimate career. Perhaps everyone has finally embarked on the correct and orderly track, but the girl who brought the first touch in life has become a stranger. Lu Fei shook the glass, and under the light, he saw the golden amber whiskey on ice hanging on the wall of the glass and then slowly sliding down. He raised his head and took a sip, the slightly viscous wine slipped into his throat, and it was actually a bit bitter. After leaving the Forever bar, Xin Chen and Bruce bought a carton of canned beer, walked to the riverside, sat down on the stone steps still covered with the heat of the daytime sun, drank beer and continued to chat endlessly.The river is open across the front, the wind is blowing head-on, not as muggy as other places. "I still like the river beach in the past, but it's good now. The traces of artificial planning are too heavy, and there is no natural flavor." Bruce looked critically at the river beach park in front of him, "I think this city is becoming unrecognizable soon. Out." "Has there been any changes? Maybe it's because you've been away for too long." Apart from working at home, Xin Chen went to the suburbs for hiking in the mountains, or traveling. Instead, he didn't feel much about the changes in the city. However, the place where he lived was facing demolition. The biggest change is right around the corner. "It's not that long. The last time I came back was three years ago. I only stayed here for one day, and then went to Shenzhen to attend my little uncle's wedding, and then set off for Qinling." Mentioning that experience, Xin Chen shook his head amusedly, "Your family actually let you go for a hike, you are very enlightened." "I persuaded my dad not to let him tell my mom, but I also promised him that I will be careful in the future." Bruce was living in the same hospital with her at the time, knowing that she was determined not to disclose her family's phone number, and no one visited her until she was discharged from the hospital. When she occasionally heard her call, he would always smile and say, "Yes, I'm still playing in Xi'an. I’ll be back in the next day, and everything is fine.” After she was discharged from the hospital, she bought her own ticket and took the train home, presumably the family affairs were not going well, so she didn’t want to talk about this topic again, “Hehuan, I’m going to stay here for half a month. Is there any arrangement for the local vertical mountain? I want to participate too." "On Saturday, I arranged to go to a mountain with an altitude of 700 meters in the outer suburbs. You can follow the thread and sign up." "I haven't tried climbing a mountain at this temperature, let's see if I can stand the test." "It's a summer resort area over there. The climate is cooler, but it depends on the weather. Alas, it seems to be raining." Xin Chen is familiar with the weather in this city. Visible tumbling clouds of extreme pressure. "It's raining." Bruce said excitedly, "I remember it was like ten years ago, the rain in that summer vacation, the sky was dark, and I never saw the rainstorm in the same way wherever I went. There is water all over the place, and it is said that you can swim in the deep places, and my sister and I sneaked out to have a water fight with people, and the water splashed high when the car drove past, it was so enjoyable." When mentioning the torrential rainstorm ten years ago, which was said to occur once in a hundred years in this city, Xin Chen was taken aback, of course she had an impression. "I was almost 13 years old that year, you should be 15 years old?" Bruce turned to her enthusiastically, "If you were also playing with water in the street, maybe we met then." "That day——" Xin Chen held a beer can and looked at the river in the distance. According to her personality at that time, she should have rushed to the street to play in the water and had a great time, but she shook her head, "That day I Stay home honestly, I have a cold." Bruce smiled, "Then don't tell me, you didn't come to the river to watch the rising flood. The place where we are sitting now was completely submerged at the time. Walking on the riverside road, you can see the ships on the river, as if Higher than the embankment, it seems to be suspended in front of you. You see, we may have met before." The water level rose violently that year, and this big riverside city became the center of national news attention, and it was even more impossible for the local citizens not to care.Of course, Xin Chen also came to see, and the person holding her hand was Lu Fei. Xin Chen drank the beer in his hand, and threw the empty can into the cardboard box, "I drank a lot today, forget it, let's go home, I don't want to get caught in the rain again and catch a cold." There was already dull thunder on the road, Xin Chen got out of the taxi, Bruce poked his head out, smiled and said loudly: "If you are afraid of thunder, chat with me online." Xin Chen smiled, "Just like I haven't been a little girl for a long time, I haven't been afraid of thunder for a long time, good night." As the taxi drove away, a flash of lightning flashed by. Xin Chen stood there, looking up at the sky motionless, until there was another loud noise, like thunder roaring overhead, and then she quickly walked into the dark corridor. The door of the black Audi Q7 parked not far away opened, and Lu Fei came out. After sending Xindi home, he drove the car here, and sat in the car listening to the CD silently.He looked up at the window on the fifth floor, and finally when the light came on, he knew that Xin Chen had arrived home. Another burst of thunder passed by, he thought, although she answered the boy loudly just now that she "hasn't been afraid of thunder for a long time", but after the lightning passed, her body froze and she stood where she was, which was actually the same as what she told him before. There was no difference in the reaction, "I would plug my ears with a quilt, but I couldn't help trembling like a demon and waited for the next burst of thunder." However, after she clearly stated during the day that it was no longer his responsibility, he could no longer find any reason to care about her like that rainy night ten years ago. Ten years ago, the torrential rainstorm in this city also started at such a late night with lightning and thunder. Lu Fei's mother and sister went to Shanghai for vacation, and his father was in Beijing on a business trip, so he was alone at home.He was sound asleep when the phone ringing woke him up. Xin Chen's soft voice came from the microphone: "Lu Fei, can you chat with me?" He looked at the time in a daze, "It's midnight now, Xiaochen, can't you sleep?" "I..." Xin Chen was a little embarrassed to say it, obviously felt that it was not justifiable to wake him up like this, but another burst of thunder passed by, and she couldn't stop her voice from trembling, "There is a power outage, I'm afraid, please talk to me. " Lu Fei suddenly became fully awake. He knew that Xin Chen's father was away again, and she was alone at home these days, "I'll come right over, wait for me." Lu Fei changed his clothes and went out with an umbrella. The rain had already started to rain outside. The umbrella was deformed by the strong wind and could not withstand the rain at all. He finally stopped a taxi. The driver murmured: "This rain is terrible." Really evil, no, I have to collect the car and go home after sending you off." There were no pedestrians on the road at all, the sky was constantly thundering and lightning, the rain was getting heavier and heavier, and it seemed to be pouring down. The wipers swung back and forth rapidly, and it was still a vast expanse.After getting out of the car and walking a short distance, Lu Fei was almost drenched even with an umbrella. He hurried up to the fifth floor where Xin Chen lived. As soon as he rang the doorbell, Xin Chen opened the door, apparently guarding the door all the time. side.She threw herself into his arms and hugged him tightly.Lu Fei threw down the umbrella, "Let go, Xiaochen, I'm completely soaked." Xin Chen ignored him, just hugging his waist, and burst into tears at the same time.They have known each other for a year, and Xin Chen has always been cheerful and lively, even if he is a little tempered, it will be fine in a blink of an eye, and he has never cried so loudly. Lu Fei couldn't understand such a childish way of crying, but he couldn't help feeling distressed. He just patiently patted her and coaxed her: "Don't be afraid, don't be afraid, I will accompany you. Next time there is a thunderstorm, I will come to accompany you, okay?" Xin Chen's wailing slowly turned into sobs in his arms. She understood that it was a bit too much for a 15-year-old girl to act like a baby, but she couldn't control herself at all. Xin Chen has an almost morbid fear of such thunder. Her grandfather died in the hospital due to illness, and then she shared a room with her elderly and frail grandmother.In the early spring of the next year, on a thunderstorm night, she woke up, reached out to touch her grandma, and fell asleep at ease, but she didn't sleep soundly and had vague dreams.In the early hours of the morning, she suddenly turned over and sat up, realizing that the body of her grandmother beside her was cold.At this time, the lightning illuminated the room brightly for a short time, grandma remained motionless, her eyes were closed tightly, and her face was distorted.She was silent for a moment, and then the thunder sounded, and she screamed in fright. Xin Kaiyu was not at home that night. Xin Chen shook his hand to call his pager, and then called his uncle's house. Xin Kaiming rushed over first. He confirmed that his mother had passed away in his sleep. The trembling niece on the sofa in the living room. Later, Xin Chen insisted on changing rooms with her father, but in the same weather, her father had not returned, and she was alone at home, so she could only cover her ears with a quilt.She told Xin Kaiyu about her fear, and Xin Kaiyu photographed her apologetically, promising to go home as early as possible next time. Later, when there was a thunderstorm, he would indeed come back as soon as possible, but there was nothing he could do about it when he was on a business trip. This night, after Xin Chen woke up with a start, she quickly got up and closed the window. The strong wind and rain rushed in, making her pajamas half wet.She crawled back to bed, completely out of sleep, trying to find something to distract her, but she turned on the light and took a magazine, but still couldn't read it, only to see her lonely figure cast on the wall by the light of the desk lamp, and the lightning flashed down However, the shadow magnified and swayed, and the sound of thunder came one after another, causing her to have countless associations of panic.Then there was a sudden power outage, and the room was plunged into darkness. She finally couldn't take it anymore and called Lu Fei.And when he rushed over, his whole body was drenched, he hugged her tightly, and he was willing to unprincipled and unconditionally make her have an attack, how could she not burst into tears? When she was tired from crying and calmed down, Lu Fei looked at her cartoon doll pajamas that were wet by his own clothes, feeling a little embarrassed, the girl's figure was completely exposed in front of his eyes, he looked away, "Go change into pajamas, Xiaochen, Watch out for a cold." Xin Chen went to change his clothes, and brought Xin Kaiyu's clothes to change for him.Lu Fei sat on the sofa, let her lie in his arms, and listened to her talking intermittently, and only then did he know the source of her fear.Looking at her slightly red and swollen eyes, he couldn't tell her that life, old age, sickness and death are common things, and there are no ghosts and gods in the world.Of course, only hugs are the most effective comfort for a child who has accumulated fears since the age of 12. Moreover, she is willing to choose to cry in his arms. The thunder outside was not so dense, but the rain was still heavy. Xin Chen fell asleep against his chest. He picked her up, put her on the bed, covered her with a towel, and then sat on the head of the bed. , but not sleepy at all.Touching her thick hair with pity, he thought, if possible, he hoped that when she was afraid in the future, all the arms she would think of would be his. Now it seems that this seems like a luxury. A drop of rain fell on Lu Fei's face, and then the rain fell heavily and quickly. The violent thunderstorm in the city's summer came again. Xin Chen stood leaning against the balcony door with her arms folded and watched the heavy rain outside. She drank several kinds of wine today, and she felt a little drunk, her head was dizzy, but she didn't feel sleepy at all.Seeing such lightning, thunder, and storm, she couldn't help but remind her of the past. She hurried home not because she was afraid of rain or thunder, but because she didn't want to share memories with Bruce. On nights like this, she would rather be alone.She knew that the violent storm ten years ago was destined to be different from others in her memory.She never shared her memories with others, and she didn't want others' memories to intrude on her. 风将阳台上的花花草草吹得摇摆不定，大雨急倾而下，闪电在远远的天际划出一个炫目的Z字形，短暂闪亮后，雷声隆隆而至，她直直地站着，屏息等雷声平息，再不会像从前那样瑟缩了。 当然，那个在电闪雷鸣中恐惧得难以入睡的女孩子和那个冒着滂沱大雨赶来陪伴她的男孩子一样，已经随着时间走远。每个人都得长大，她也不例外，她一直都没有彻底克服对某些事情的恐惧，可是她早已经说服自己直面这些恐惧了。 在本市新闻报道里，十年前那个夜晚的大雨创了百年纪录，雨水近乎狂暴地倾泻而下，从头天凌晨一点一直持续到第二天下午两点，市内多处供电线路被风刮断，街上渍水从没膝直到及腰，到处是在积水中熄火抛锚的汽车，早上出门的人不得不撑着伞涉水艰难前行，三轮车成了最受欢迎的交通工具，整个城市陷入无序之中。 这样严重的渍涝灾害天气，固执地留在辛辰的记忆里挥之不去的却只是一个温暖的怀抱。 辛辰头晚上穿着半湿的睡衣独自在床上瑟瑟发抖，再扑到衣服全湿的路非怀里大哭，第二天早上醒来，呼吸粗重，头有些沉重，嗓子沙哑。路非摸她额头，体温还算正常，“家里有没有感冒药？” 辛辰摇头，“没事，我很少生病，睡一觉就好了。” “那怎么行，我去给你买药。” 辛辰趴窗台上看下面，俨然已经是一片水乡泽国，这片老城区排水系统本来就不够完善，再碰上这种大雨，渍水情况比别处更甚，街道上有顽童拿大塑料盆当小船漂着玩，她看得大乐，拖住路非，“我们也去玩吧。” 那么浑浊漂着垃圾的积水，路非连出去买药都要做心理建设克服洁癖，不禁哭笑不得，不由分说地将她按回床上，“你给我老实待着，哪儿也不许去。” 路非穿了双拖鞋，卷起裤腿，忍着不适涉水出去，街道上尽是和他一样打扮的人，周围的商店全积了水，店员一边往外舀水一边做生意，居然都处变不惊，还有兴致谈笑着。 他买回药，顺便买了大包吃的东西。辛辰老大不情愿地喝着他冲调好的感冒冲剂，看他在卫生间皱眉反复冲洗双腿，有点好笑，“有洁癖的人得错过多少好玩的事情呀。” "for example……" 辛辰拿下巴指外面，“玩水啊，多有意思，这种雨得多久才赶上一回。” 路非从卫生间出来，表情忍俊不禁，摸她的头发，“真是个孩子。” 他一路上看到冒雨玩水的孩子还真不少，只能承认确实和眼前这个孩子有代沟。他想不通15岁的辛辰明明已经算长大了，怎么却仍保留着这么多的孩子气。看着积水，他想的是这里的地下管网恐怕得好好进行改造，而父亲大概已经为本市的排渍抗涝忙得不可开交了。 可这并不妨碍他宠溺纵容着辛辰，耐心地哄她喝药，由她将电视机声音开得大大的却并不看，由她借口头疼不肯做作业。见她讨厌方便面，他头一次下厨房，准备给她煮面条，但他的手势看得辛辰大笑，推开他亲自动手。 看着娇气的辛辰其实独立生活能力很强，她动作十分利索，支个锅煎鸡蛋，另一个锅煮面条，同时从冰箱里拿出西红柿，麻利地洗净切好，加入番茄和鸡蛋一起翻炒得香浓，浇到煮好的面条上。看得出来，她做得十分纯熟，一定经常这么打发自己。吃着她煮的面条，路非由衷地称赞美味。 两人待在家里，路非给她讲功课，陪她下棋，雨停以后和她一块坐在阳台上，看鸽子在雨后铅灰色的天空下飞翔，看楼下人们坐着闻讯集结而来的三轮车进进出出，所有的人都从最初的抱怨中恢复过来，谈笑风生，似乎没人觉得这是一个灾害天气。 当然路非的父亲肯定不这么想。路非和他父亲通话，知道他从北京匆匆赶回来，安排好市区的排涝，转移被困市民，抢修供电线路，恢复公共交通，又上了抗洪形势日益严峻的一线堤防，根本无暇回家。 辛开明和辛开宇都给辛辰打电话问她情况，她如实报告着：“水只退了一点，还好深，嗯，没事，我知道。”“对，有点感冒，已经喝了药。好的，我不会出去的，家里有吃的。” 雨停了几个小时，又开始下起来，只是没有头晚上那么狂暴，持续时间也不长。围困居民楼的渍水两天后才彻底退去，辛辰和路非头一次那样日夜共对。 晚上，路非躺在辛辰身边，陪她絮语，其实只是她说，而他含笑听着，直到她蒙眬睡去。辛辰感觉到他的唇轻轻印在她额上，她满足于在这个经常自己独居的房子里突然多了一个温暖安全的怀抱，雨夜变得不再孤独。 哪怕和路非分开了，辛辰仍然珍惜那一段时光。 辛辰从小看习惯了父亲和各式女人的合合分分，对于分别，她并不多愁善感。曾有女人找上门来，牵了辛开宇的衣袖哀哀哭泣，而他保持平静，并不动容，只带点无可奈何地说：“话我已经说清楚了，不要闹得难看，吓到我女儿，没什么意思。” 那女人最后只能离开，辛开宇抚摩着女儿的头发，“没生爸爸的气吧？” 辛辰摇头，“要是她一哭你就改主意了，我才会生气。” 辛开宇笑，看着她的眼睛，难得认真地说：“辰子记住，以后别随便对着男生哭，哭最多只会让对方为难，不能改变什么。真正疼你的那个人不会轻易惹你哭，让你哭的那个人，多半不会在乎你的眼泪。” 她也笑了，知道爸爸大概让不少女人哭过。她想，好吧，那就不哭，以后她会尽量做先离开的那个人，而且一定不会去挽留，更不要做出一个难看的姿态。 当然那只是一个孩子气的想法罢了，至少路非走时，她选择了在原地看着他的背影慢慢地消失。她能做的，只是倔强地昂着头，并没有哭泣。她告诉自己，不过是来来去去，走走留留，并没什么大不了，很快会过去。 可过去的只是时间而已。 路非走后，追求辛辰的人一直很多，大二时，她终于接受了一个一直喜欢她的男生的约会请求。两人走在秋天的校园里，桂花盛开，月色皎洁如水，空气中飘着甜香气息，实在是良辰美景，那个男生脉脉含情凝视着她，眼睛里盛满爱慕。当他的双手环上来时，她想，好吧。他们拥抱，然后接吻。 然而，她悲哀地发现，那是不一样的。 她突然明白，19岁的路非吻她抱她时，满含了克制怜爱。她回不到15岁，也不会再有一个男人以那样自持温柔的方式呵护她。 匆匆挣脱那个怀抱，她什么也不解释，扬长而去，完全不给理由地和那个男孩子断绝了联系。 辛辰当然知道，这种比较并没有意义，就算她和路非没有分开，以后大概也不会再有那样静谧的时光。他们迟早会如同其他恋人一样，同时体会到身体和心焦灼的需求，体会到灵与肉渴望交融的感觉，而那个纯净的时刻，总归会成为回忆。 生活一直继续着，季节周而复始，她后来交了新的男友，说服自己开始新的感情。 本地夏季气候仍然是出了名的酷热难当，每年到了这个时候，往往连续晴热，再转成多云闷热的天气，气压低得让人喘不过气来，空气似乎拧得出水来，然后会有一场雷雨爽利地扑面而来，年年这样反复上演。 只是，再没一场雷雨如十年前那个夏夜，再没一个怀抱如路非了。她接受了这个现实。 这样的雨夜，雷电依然狂暴，大风裹着雨扑面而来，但她的记忆里全是满含柔情的画面。她记得奶奶的面孔不再如辞世的那一刻扭曲，而是爱怜横溢地注视着她，带着老年斑略有点粗糙的手抚摸她的面孔，替她梳头编辫子，半是赞叹半是惆怅：“这么硬的头发，女孩子不要太倔强啊，小辰。”她记得路非抱着她，听她毫无意义的絮语，笑得温柔，睡意蒙眬间的那个吻轻柔却灼热地烙在了她的额头，驱散了她的恐惧。 大雨将阳台上一朵朵盛开的茉莉、海棠花打落枝头，小小的洁白和嫣红花朵委顿在花盆泥土中，绕防盗网栏杆爬藤而上的牵牛花叶子在风中左右摇摆不定。辛辰抹了一下自己湿漉漉的面孔，弄不清是雨水溅了上去，还是眼泪终于流了出来。 没有一朵花能永远盛放，没有一场暴雨会永不止歇，那么，也没有一个回忆应该永远盘桓不去。是时候画上一个句号了。she said to herself.