Chapter 31 Chapter Twenty Nine "I Love You..."

Is it midnight now?what time is it?Lin Jiani suddenly woke up from an uneasy dream, beads of sweat stuck to her petite body like glue, and she couldn't get rid of the greasy.Maybe it's too hot. "I love him.... Yes, I love him!" There was such a voice in her heart, the confusion that had confused her for a long time, like a drop of dew rolling on a leaf, finally fell down.She heard the very thin broken sound, clear, sharp, crystal clear, yet thin and weak, like a weary sigh.She didn't want to turn on the light, the dim light was hot.She didn't want to move, letting the bamboo mat and the narrow sheets soak in her constant sweat.She stared wide-eyed at the moonlight coming in through the window.A row of moonlight carrying the fence moves slowly, like a mysterious march of an invisible Lilliputian army.She felt a little cool, and couldn't help shrinking her body, like a frightened child, helplessly grasping everything around her... .

She knew that the dream hadn't gone far, she hadn't even walked out of this room, she hadn't come to the window sill... .She tried her best to pull it back, she wanted to review it again, even if the scene in this dream was just endless loss and hurt to her... . She dreamed that in her home, the weather was warm and windy, and the new yellow leaves of the mango tree were shiny, like a mischievous and radiant smile.After a while, she felt someone standing in front of her, and a dark shadow appeared on the pages of the book she was holding.Look up, ah, Teacher Liu, why did you come to my house?Liu Dabei smiled but didn't speak.The mother came out to greet him, and the father also came out to greet him.She followed into the house to fetch water.The hot water on the induction cooker started to sizzle, and the bamboo tea tray was soaked black with Pu-erh tea water, she felt uncomfortable when she saw it, it was so dirty, I wonder if he would be offended.Four small teacups were set up, and it was still the same set: "Avalokitesvara Goes to the Sea", "Guan Gong Tours the City", "Han Xin Orders Soldiers"... .His parents and he seemed to have a nice conversation, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't hear what they were saying.Suddenly, his parents had an argument with him.She began to hear their conversation a little bit, which probably meant: Teacher Liu actually wanted to lead her away, but her parents firmly disagreed, they thought she was too young.In the end, he still smiled and asked himself: Would you like to wander the world with me?She was very shy and didn't know how to answer.How much she longed for this day to come, but now she was too happy to speak.He left with infinite disappointment. When he got to the mango tree, how could she see Jiang Ruotong holding hands with him, and the two were talking and laughing very intimately together.She was anxious and angry, and shouted at them loudly, but the voice seemed to be unable to come out, and her mouth seemed to be blocked by an invisible thing... She was awakened by this extremely anxious suffocation.

The dream revealed itself, she knew.She loves him, and now she knows it, and it's useless to know it.Whether it is a dream or reality, it is impossible.When she heard what happened between him and Jiang Ruotong, how painful it was for her!Her heart was bleeding, and she hadn't eaten for a whole day, and from that day on, she became a captive of endless inexplicable sadness, and she would never laugh again.Even now, she had kept to herself the last hope of fluke, and she hoped that it wasn't true.But that is the truth!When everyone was unabashedly and fiercely condemning Liu Dapei, several times, she was silently weeping when she turned her back on others.She slowly persuaded herself to admit the truth, yes, he likes Jiang Ruotong... .Is there anything wrong with this?He's only 22 years old, a year later, don't we just turn 16 or 17?They are all so young!She didn't see anything dirty about what was going on between them—if they really loved each other, why shouldn't it? !On the contrary, she felt that girls who used these things to show their "morality" were vulgar and vulgar.But what he likes is Jiang Ruotong!Jiang Ruotong is so beautiful, plump, innocent and lovely, maybe only she, only she can attract him... .Thinking of this, she felt another colic in her heart!He never paid attention to himself!Never!While she was carefully cleaning the room and mopping the floor for him, he was still busy chatting with Ouyang Feifei and the others!Her weekly diary was brought to class, and he just praised himself for his hard work, so why didn't he think about it: Why would a girl write thousands of words in her weekly diary every time?Is it just to get a simple sentence of praise from the teacher?When he and she went to the bookstore to buy books, didn't he notice a girl with a flushed face from beginning to end?Didn't he find himself trembling with happiness when we sat and chatted with him beside the small mango tree on the edge of the playground?Even in the composition and weekly diary handed to him, could it be that he couldn't see at all how a girl was painstakingly imitating his calligraphy... .Why is he so smart in other respects, but so "stupid" in this matter!No, he is by no means stupid, but he has never paid attention to himself!He is just an ordinary hardworking student in his eyes!

... She felt despair, this despair was so real, so real that it was cold, like a severe frost, and all those rose-colored dreams that belonged to the girl were frozen in an instant... .Freeze and die, never to wake up again.Jiani thought: I was such a cold person in the first place, and I may never feel warm in the future... .In this vast world, she is like a piece of desolate frozen soil. The sun that happened to go on the wrong track revived her once, and then fell asleep again for a long time with further low temperature and almost death... how to have a rainbow How to embrace the summer wind

The stars in the sky laugh at the people on the ground always can't understand can't know enough if i love your smile how to collect how to own if you're happy not for me Whether you will let go is actually possession When a gust of wind blows the kite up into the sky Pray for you, bless and move Finally your figure disappeared at the end of the crowd Only to find that laughing and crying hurts the most... that day you and me that hill Singing the song of that year like that that kind of memory is enough Enough for me to taste loneliness every day Finally your figure disappeared at the end of the crowd

Only to find that laughing and crying hurts the most... if you're happy it's not for me The joy of contentment makes me endure heartache It's the middle of the night, where is the singing coming from?Every line of the lyrics shatters her—"If I fall in love with your smile, how should I collect it? How should I possess it? Only then did I realize that laughing and crying hurt the most... That day you and I sang the song of that year like that hill, that memory is so enough that I taste loneliness every day... " She heard the sound of her crying in the darkness, like crystallized ice grains falling to the floor and shattering one after another—it was an extremely thin and extremely thin sound of breaking, clear, sharp, crystal clear, yet thin and weak , like a weary sigh...

After sobbing for an unknown amount of time, Jiani struggled to get up from the bed, she felt a splitting headache... .The moonlight is shining brightly, and I have stepped on the window sill at this moment, perhaps because I can't bear to hear the suppressed cries of the sad people in the house.She stood by the window, the tall mango tree in front of the door was still tall and majestic in the dark, like him... No!Suddenly she turned around and walked to the bed, picked up the cell phone next to the pillow, and while weeping, deleted Liu Dabei's number and all the text messages - twenty-three in total, which she had read countless times, Almost every article can be recited...

Having done this so quickly, she felt as if she had died once, that some part of her life had disappeared... .There are only three numbers left on her cell phone: her mother, her home landline, and Huang Simeng. Liu Dabei was the only male on this cell phone. Still can't sleep.She recalled again the day Liu Dabei announced his departure.Monday.The last class meeting of the first year of high school.In the afternoon, there was no sun, the sky was very cloudy, hot and stuffy.The whirring fan in the classroom is completely useless, and it is unknown whether it is cooling or heating the air with ulterior motives.The final exam is coming up on Wednesday, everyone is busy with revision, the weather and mood are so irritable.He came, with firm steps and a calm face.After finishing the usual clichés about the things that should be paid attention to in the final exam.He stood on the podium - as he had stood there countless times, but now he seemed to be hesitating about something.When all the students thought he had finished speaking, he unexpectedly spoke:

"Students! Please put down the pens in your hands for a few minutes of delay. I want to say a few digressions..." There was murmurs and complaints in the classroom.This made Liu Dabei pause for another half a minute in embarrassment, not knowing whether to continue or forget it.In the end, he insisted on continuing to preach: "I want to tell you one thing - I have submitted my resignation to Principal Zhou, and the school has approved it. From the next school year, I will no longer be your Chinese teacher and head teacher..." There was no sound in the classroom, and the silence was like a deep sea.Suddenly, a girl in the first row of a group burst into tears. The sound was so loud that everyone was shocked!That was Jiang Ruotong.Her cries became louder and louder, even overwhelming Liu Dabei's speech.As a last resort, Liu Dabei asked his deskmate Xu Meijing to help her outside the door.

He babbled about many things, and briefly reviewed the various activities, events, and joys, sorrows, and joys that he and the whole class had experienced together in the past year.His language is simple and plain, without the usual splendor and wit.Lin Jiani saw Liu Dabei's lonely and infinitely sympathetic expression, and suddenly felt that he was many years older, like an old man endlessly reminiscing about the past.For a moment, she felt distressed... .The sun is setting, the breath is dying, the hero is frustrated, and the beauty is twilight, it seems to be nothing more than that.Many men and women in the class shed tears, some changed color, and some fell into deep thought... . "When a bird is about to die, its song is mournful; when a man is about to die, his words are kind." Man is such a strange thing!Just before this class, some of them were swearing at him in the most obscene terms!At this moment, the collective is like a memorial service. All the benefits of this person in the past year are clearly visible, shrouded in endless grief and nostalgia...  In the end, he seemed to have exhausted all his strength, stretched out a desolate hand to bid farewell to the world like a person who was about to sink in a quagmire, and said in a low and concluding sentence:

"I love you…… " The tables, chairs, benches and the air in the classroom vibrated slightly for a moment, and the light seemed to dim suddenly... .Ouyang Feifei's nose was a little sore, but she held back strongly, instead she half-smirked and said to Su Chang at the same table: "In the future, we will never meet a teacher who combines genius and rogue like this again?" Su Chang replied: "It's best to leave! He's still here, pretending to be merciful, trying to get everyone's sympathy! But he's pitiful enough, he's ruined at such a young age..." Although I have been in the second year of high school for more than two months, the teachers have also changed and the classrooms have also moved.But Jiani is not used to it all the time, and if she doesn't pay attention, she writes in her books and homework: "Lin Jiani, No. 17, Class 1, Senior One (3)".From time to time, various news about Liu Dabei circulated in the class. Sometimes it was said that he roamed the country, sometimes he went to Beijing to engage in real estate, and sometimes he went back to his hometown and lived in seclusion in the deep mountains and old forests to practice Taoism; there were also rumors that he was sent to Singapore as a Chinese teacher Yes, in short, true or false, there are different opinions.But now, everything about this person has nothing to do with her.Since crying bitterly on the night of the Mid-Autumn Festival, this person has evaporated with the tears and moonlight at that time. On this day, she took her math homework to the office as usual.Teacher Huang, who teaches mathematics, was hospitalized due to illness and hired a substitute teacher.He had only been here for two weeks, and this person also claimed to have graduated from a certain Peking University—the same school as Liu Dabei.But when he was speaking, he spoke at a very high speed, saliva splashed, and the corners of his mouth bubbled like crabs.And I don't know if it's because of nervousness or other reasons, either I keep writing on the blackboard, or I keep my eyes on the ceiling, never daring to look at the students below.As soon as the bell rang, he fled as if he was dying.Within a few days, the students complained that he spoke too fast, and asked Lin Jiani to reflect.For this reason, some people still miss Liu Dabei inexplicably, and lament that "Old Liu" is personable and easy to handle in class.Dafa commented that although he was in the same school as "Old Liu", after all, "the same rice supports all kinds of people".Today, she is also trying to talk about this issue with her new teacher. Before she reached the door of the office of the second-level senior group, she heard heated discussions coming from inside. Liu Dabei's name flashed, and they seemed to be talking about him.Suddenly, curiosity came from nowhere, so she simply stood still and listened to the discussion inside. "...Mr. Zhang, you don't know—the two classes you are leading now, especially class (3), are the class with the best grades in this level! Speaking of it, it is the result of the painstaking efforts of one of your alumni Woolen cloth!" "This school also graduated from a certain university in Beijing?... Oh, which class? What's his name... Oh, this person was a 'celebrity' when he was in school!" "You know him too?" "I don't know him, but I've heard that I'm two years older than him." "Hey... , you alumni are really good at it! Hey..." "What's wrong?" "That person just left, he just resigned last semester, quit..." "Quit? Why?" "Hey... , you just came here and don't know, let me tell you, come over and sit down..." "Is there such a thing?" "Why, you still don't believe it?" "No way?" "It's absolutely true! The whole school has spread the word, otherwise he taught well, why would he resign suddenly? Where is Jiashu Middle School? How many people squeeze their heads and want to get in..." "I do not believe." "you do not believe?" "Isn't someone deliberately planting the blame?" "Hey, Mr. Zhang, if I say you are a person, will I lie to you? If you don't believe me, just find a sophomore in high school and ask me to see if I'm telling lies..." "Maybe you misunderstood him..." "Misunderstanding? Hey, Mr. Zhang, you have to be realistic! You can't just cover up for Liu Dabei just because he is your alumni..." "I'm not interested in covering up for anyone! Whether he is my alumni or not has nothing to do with it! I only respect the facts..." "Respect the facts?" "Of course! Let me ask you: Does Liu Dabei have a girlfriend?" "It doesn't seem to be. I've never heard him talk about it!" "That's right! Think about it: He graduated from a Chinese university in Beijing, and he has a good teaching and management skills. Such a talented person, why doesn't he even have a girlfriend?" "This is indeed a bit strange..." "You're right to think so! It's impossible for Liu Dabei to have sex with that girl! Getting pregnant is even more nonsense! Those are pure rumors and nonsense..." "Why?!" "Why? Let me tell you, Liu Dabei is the first open homosexuality of a certain university in Beijing! He became famous when he was a freshman! He got involved with a 13-year-old red-haired boy, and the boy committed suicide because of him. It was! The whole school was a sensation at that time! He has a 'pedophile' and he likes beautiful boys! If you say that he has sex with a certain boy, I will believe it. As for the claim that he is in love with a female student, he also made his belly bigger , It's all nonsense! Because this kind of thing is simply impossible!" ... The thick pile of homework in Lin Jiani's arms fell to the ground, and she stood there in a daze, wondering what she was thinking... .At this time, a voice came from the room: "Who? Who's where?" "End of the Book"