Chapter 8 Chapter 6 The college entrance examination is a paper tiger!

Chinese class,.Holding a book in his hand, Liu Dabei paced back and forth in the aisles of Groups 1 and 2, while telling everyone about the time when he went to the Temple of Earth with a few classmates in Beijing in the fall; while comparing the text, the real Temple of Earth was compared with the one written by Shi Tiesheng. similarities and differences.Everyone listened with gusto. "...So you see, the Temple of Earth was originally a desolate, desolate, dilapidated and inconspicuous place in Beijing. After Shi Tiesheng wrote it, it became a landscape. The lotus pond in Tsinghua Garden is not as normal as the "cultural park" next to our school. But since Zhu Ziqing wrote "Moonlight in the Lotus Pond", that pond has become a holy place for Chinese literature lovers to worship. Anyone who went to high school, when they come to Beijing, always want to see the lotus leaves Lotus, smell the lotus fragrance and rhyme, whether a gust of wind blows, like the skirt of a dancing girl, like the faint singing on a tall building. Hanshan Temple in Suzhou is just a small ruined temple. But since the Tang Dynasty Zhang Ji, a student who failed the college entrance examination, suffered from insomnia at night, and the broken clock in the temple in the middle of the night woke up the pain of losing his name in Sun Shan—you said the moon was dark and the wind was high, what kind of clock did the monks hit? So, he chanted A crooked poem, for more than a thousand years, the Bodhisattva in that small temple has never been at peace again. Su Dongpo was exiled in Huangzhou, and at night he took a boat to pay homage to the heroes of the Three Kingdoms. He went to the wrong place at all. Jiangdong went to Lang to search for everything, but in the end, the place he went to has become a tourist attraction, called "Wen Chibi"! Yu Qiuyu went to Shanxi, Shanxi has been poor for so many years, only coal and black The sky is gone, he went on a hard trip to culture, bragging about how rich the ancestors of Shanxi people were back then, how bold Shanxi merchants were, and even Lafayette Cixi borrowed money from Shanxi people to spend! You see, the ancient city of Pingyao is not It has become a world cultural heritage?! Not only the government allocates funds, but people all over the world are crowded to watch the fun. Shanxi people are happy to sit on the ground and collect money! No wonder they are grateful to Yu Qiuyu, and they should. Besides, Xiangxi Phoenix, originally It is the poor mountains and rivers of the unruly people, a cecum of China. But Shen Congwen was born, as written in the prose of the novel, the ordinary green mountains and green waters have become a paradise on earth, and the foreigners with blond hair and blue eyes are better than the Chinese Even more vigorously, they read articles, took boats and planes, traveled thousands of miles, and crossed several continents and oceans, in order to live in stilted houses, and look for emerald green by the bamboo forest, on the creek, and by the transitional wharf. The figures of Xiao Xiao, Sansan, Yaoyao... You see, this is called "The country needs the support of literati, and the magical painting is drawing pictures"..."

The class is lively.Suddenly Liu Dapei hurried to Lin Jiani's side and grabbed the notebook of her deskmate Liang Haojie. Everyone was shocked, and Jiani was also shocked.Liang Haojie's face immediately turned red to the ears. "What are you doing? Everyone is listening to the class, and I've been noticing what you've been copying... Let me see what you've written." Liu Dabei couldn't help laughing at the sight, and then burst out laughing.Everyone in the class looked at the teacher inexplicably, wondering what the deputy monitor Liang Haojie wrote to make the teacher smile so happily.The students sitting next to Liu Dabei all sat up and stretched their necks to peek.The boys in the back row also started yelling and booing!Huang Qiuhao took the lead and yelled the loudest. He likes this kind of scene the most.

"Hey, the love letter of 'Mr. Liang' has been discovered! Teacher, read and listen! Read and read..." Liu Dabei grinningly flipped through the notebook in his hand one by one, walking back to the podium.The mouth kept saying "fun, fun...".It wasn't until he finished reading that he raised his head again and said to the audience: "Do you want to know what it is?" "Think!" They shouted at the same time. "But I won't tell you!" Ban Li laughed loudly. "However, looking at the hungry eyes of each of you, I'd better read it to everyone! Does Liang Haojie have any comments?"

Liang Haojie blushed like kapok, then raised his head to look at the teacher with a smirk.People around him surrounded him and asked him what he wrote.He just laughed and didn't answer.After Liu Dabei selected more than a dozen and read them one by one, everyone laughed along. It turned out that Liang Haojie was busy remembering the interesting words that Liu Dabei usually said.He has a special notebook for this and named it "Liu Dabei Quotations".The teacher finished reading and said with a smile: "It's inappropriate to call it 'Liu Dabei's Quotations'. Comrade Mao Zedong's words are called 'Chairman Mao's Quotations', which is the 'Red Treasure Book'. Liu Dabei can't afford it. Taiwan Li Ao compiled a book for Mr. Hu Shi called "Hu Shiyu" Liu Dabei can't afford it. Chairman Mao is a great man, Mr. Hu is a sage, and Liu Dabei is a scholar. The old saying is "Shi" - the "Shi" of "Huaihai Youth World Scholars". Liang Haojie remembers it very well! No wonder you often sneak around in class. It turns out that you are doing this, writing "Daily Notes" for Liu Dabei! Seeing that you memorize words and events, the theme is similar, the details are like Boswell's "Johnson's Biography", and the simplicity has a unique style. No wonder Mr. Zeng said that I have a "Wei-Jin demeanor", it is really your fault! This The book is called "Mr. Liu Dabei's Jia Yan Yi Xing Lu"!... I will be in danger in the future, and everything I say will be recorded by you. Someday there will be an "anti-rightist" or "Cultural Revolution", isn't it all Is it a counter-revolutionary crime?! Hehe..."

After class, Liang Haojie's notebook was passed around by everyone, and some girls even copied a copy.By the time Jiani saw the record of her deskmate, it was already the third night.Jiani didn't expect the deskmate to be such a careful boy.It has been more than a month since she adjusted her seat in the second week of school and she no longer sat with Ouyang Feifei but with Liang Haojie.After sitting with him for so long, she didn't know that he memorized dozens of pages of the teacher's words.Although Liu Dabei's words are often quoted in weekly journals and conversations, either positively or negatively, it is still rare to collect them on such a large scale as Liang Haojie.He really has a heart.Jiani couldn't help sighing.She turned her head and glanced at a shy and gentle boy with a pair of oval glasses and fair skin.No wonder, he is originally from Meizhou and is a Hakka.On weekdays, his behavior is a bit clumsy, with a mature and dignified look.He was sluggish, always restless, inactive, evasive and timid. Huang Kai nicknamed him "Mr. Liang", and word spread immediately.Because of his very image, his demeanor is indeed like an old gentleman.

Janie felt a little sympathetic to him for some reason, and it was a strange feeling.Liang Haojie's grades are quite good, and he is also the deputy squad leader, so there is no reason for people to feel sympathy.Maybe it's because of the "lack of masculinity" as the teacher said.He's a nice guy, an understanding deskmate.Generally, they rarely chat, because both of them are taciturn.The time when he talked the most was when Liang Haojie was "summoned" by Liu Dabei.He was a little excited and a little melancholy.Made an exception and talked a lot with Janie.He said that he was a little "afraid" of Liu Dabei, and never dared to meet the teacher's eyes.When the teacher glanced at him, he trembled in his heart, for fear that he would be criticized for something he had done.When he heard the teacher reprimanding other students, he trembled as if scolding himself.Although I am the deputy squad leader, I have many opportunities to get in touch with teachers.But facing the teacher, the head weighs a thousand catties, and it is seldom lifted up.It is like a sheep in front of a lion. No matter how magnanimous and merciful the lion is, the sheep is always trembling.However, he also likes the teacher's class very much, and he likes to listen to ordinary speeches the most.Only then have the opportunity to write down the teacher's words.The words are touching and charming, and the meaning is special and funny.Jiani was amazed at the frankness of her deskmate.Especially when he said the parable of the sheep and the lion, she laughed.He also said a little sentimentally that the teacher talked to him and said that he lacked masculinity.He also took a copy of "Three Hundred Tang Poems" and asked him to recite Li Bai's "Will Enter the Wine" aloud. He read it over and over again, his voice getting louder each time, but the teacher just shook his head and said "there is no wildness".Laughing at him, he said: "Liang Haojie is Liang Haojie, Jie is outstanding, and Hao is not Hao!".Ask him to go back and often read Li Bai's poems and bold and unconstrained poems aloud, so as to "raise the spirit of awe-inspiring".

Jiani read "Mr. Liu Dabei's Jia Yan Yi Xing Lu" several times from beginning to end, and copied some favorite sentences from it.Some words are so inspiring, but everyone just laughed at that time, and the fine gold and jade were blown away by the wind.Fortunately, someone with a heart like Liang Haojie picked up a piece of good luck. 1. Teacher Liu comes to class in shorts and a T-shirt almost every day.During evening self-study, he walked around the classroom wearing slippers.Someone said: "Teacher, you are not allowed to wear slippers in the classroom, you should lead by example." He plausibly said: "Is etiquette established for my generation?!"

2. Teacher Liu likes lollipops.Whoever gives him a lollipop, he will gladly accept it.Hold it in your mouth obliquely, eating with relish.Some people say that it is unsightly and detrimental to the image of teachers.He widened his eyes and said, "What's not good-looking, what's wrong with the image! Class 1 (3) is my place, my place—I'm the master!" When he said this, the lollipop was still in his mouth. 3. From the first day she was a representative of the Chinese class, Liang Peishan was ordered to "serve the seat": bring tea cups, carry a computer, and hold textbooks.Some people say that she is the teacher's book boy.Teacher Liu said: "Don't you keep saying that you want to respect the teacher? What you say is unfounded. Let's do something practical. Serving a teacup for the teacher is a manifestation of respecting the teacher! This is a symbolic service. The dignity of a teacher lies in a cup of tea." Inside. Anyway, I will also be your teacher for a while-- Is the knowledge good, don't let your airs fall!"

4. The school plays on Sunday night.Teacher Liu asked: "Is it me who speaks well, or Yi Zhongtian speaks well?" Someone replied: "Yi Zhongtian spoke well." He smiled and scolded: "You bastard! How dare you betray the teacher?!" 5. Someone bought Yu Dan's "The Analects of Confucius".Teacher Liu flipped through it casually and said, "With this level, do you dare to tell the people of the whole country?" After a while, he said: "It is only at this level that the people of the whole country like to listen to her talk!" 6. Student cadres are ordered to check school uniforms, school cards, whether boys have long hair, and whether girls have their hair tied.Teacher Liu threw the visitor out of the classroom, and lost his temper: "Is the school crazy for a day? You only care about your hair and feet, who cares about your spirit and soul?! "

7. Teacher Liu doesn't like sports very much, but he likes to see us alive and well.I usually wander around the classroom to see who is sluggish for no reason.He went up and said, "Do you know what I want to do most now?" Before the man could answer, he shouted, "I'll kick you twice, you bastard!" 8. Teacher Liu worships Mao Zedong.He removed the famous quotes of Mrs. Curie and Li Dazhao that had been hung in the classroom.Two handwritten words were given to us, one is: "Barbarism is the body, civilization is the spirit!" The other is: "Confidence in life for two hundred years will hit the water for three thousand miles!"

9. Teacher Liu said: "Is there really any confident person in the world? There has never been! Self-confidence is all faked, but some people pretend well, and some people pretend badly! The most important thing is to persevere!" 10. Some students pointed out that Mr. Liu pronounced 舸 (ge) as (ke) in "Hundreds of Ships Fighting for the Flow" in class.Everyone thought he would use his invincible eloquence to explain his mistakes.Unexpectedly, as soon as the second period was in class, he said: "Thank you, that classmate! I have mispronounced this word for 6 years. Thank you for correcting a mistake that I have not understood for 6 years. Thank you!" 11. In every disciplinary evaluation, our class is ranked last in the school, and the points we lose are due to the hair uniforms.For the top three with excellent discipline, the class teacher will get a bonus ranging from 300 to 100 yuan.Teacher Liu never dismissed it.He said: "How can I sell the freedom of fifty-one of you for the three hundred yuan a month?! I won't do it for three million yuan!" 12. The school uniforms were issued, and everyone rushed to try them on, very excited.Teacher Liu said sternly: "Anyone who likes to wear school uniforms is a slave! Whoever is a slave, don't say I am your teacher! Because I will feel ashamed—could the lion's apprentices be a flock of sheep?!" Laughter, but Teacher Liu looked at us seriously, he didn't seem to be joking. 13. We enthusiastically exchanged experience in playing "Warcraft".Teacher Liu came over and said: "Stupid people play games in the world, wise people play in the world!" 14. Teacher Liu said: "Now people all over the street are publishing this manifesto and that manifesto. Look at that manifesto—you can tell by hearing it that some uneducated people are promoting culture there! Know how the "Communist Manifesto" begins "A specter, the specter of communism, haunting Europe..." Listen, the beginning of a horror novel! What a literary talent! How attractive! How tempting! The revolutionary teacher is worthy of being a revolutionary teacher. What is it called? Literate? This is called being literate!" 15. Liang Wenchao was troubled by his short stature.Teacher Liu said: "Deng Xiaoping was 1.55 meters and played around the earth, Yao Ming was 2.25 meters and could only play basketball; the dinosaurs were so tall, they were extinct long ago, and the mice were so small, so everyone can talk about the world! You Mi Wuba, who is taller than Deng Xiaoping and shorter than Yao Ming, should be among them in terms of achievement! Manly man, what are you worrying about? Nothing to do!" 16. Teacher Liu said: "Chairman Mao and his elders often say: 'All reactionaries are paper tigers!' The college entrance examination is a reactionary, so the college entrance examination is a paper tiger! What are you afraid of?!" 17. Someone told Mr. Liu that you are in the 80s and we are in the 90s... After hearing this, he shouted: "Shit! Smart people live in all ages! Lao Tzu himself is the existence of the past, present and future! Only dogs in the 80s and dogs in the 90s, I didn't know that people could be divided like this!" 18. Many people in the class like to watch "Li Ao Has Something to Say". Everyone asked Mr. Liu what he thought of Li Ao, and he gritted his teeth and said, "That old Taiwanese gangster! He said all the words he boasted about, and he will call me himself in the future." How do you praise yourself?" 19. Teacher Liu said: "The difference between a smart person and a stupid person is greater than the difference between a human being and a dog!" 20. "Bastard!", "Bastard!", "Damn it!", "Shit!", "Slippery and slippery"... Teacher Liu's speech is mixed with these words from time to time.How much we boys love to hear him talk about this!How fun he was to talk!However, he strictly forbids us to use it.No matter who is a man or a woman, if he hears it, he has to go to the playground and run five laps.Some people protested to him, saying that "only state officials are allowed to set fire, and people are not allowed to light lamps".He arrogantly replied: "Who are you? I swear because I have reached the level where I can swear! How many books have you read? How many Chinese characters have you learned? Are you worthy of swearing?!" It turns out that swearing also has the issue of "worthiness and incompatibility". This is the first time I've heard of it. 21. Mr. Liu’s QQ name is “Ren Gongzi”. When we asked why, he said: “Dian Chu. There was a guy named Ren who used fifty cows as bait, cast a pole in the East China Sea, and finally caught a giant fish with no friends. People from Zhejiang to Guangxi ate it for half a year. Today I came to Guangdong and used fifty-one virgins as bait to cast a pole in the South China Sea. I don’t know if I can catch one or something!” 22. Teacher Liu played Wang Rong's "I Am Brother Fu Rong" for us.Let us evaluate the "vomiting images" such as "Sister Furong" and "Mu Zimei".The whole class almost unanimously condemned and abused those people for "shameless".Teacher Liu said: "Aren't your morals too cheap? Did Furong Muzimei ever violate the constitution? Did they ever hurt others? No! You just don't like it emotionally! If you don't like it, you don't like it, let them do it." Come on! What right do you have to judge others in the court of morality? You have to think that you are superior to others and impose your own likes and dislikes on others. You don't understand what I mean by 'tolerance'! That song It is too vicious, but it proves the narrow-mindedness of creators, singers and enthusiastic audiences. This society is only normal if there are all kinds of people of all kinds, three religions and nine streams. Russell said: diversity is the source of happiness. Boys , remember!" 23. Huang Kai said: "Teacher, you don't play football or basketball, are you still a man?" Teacher Liu said: "You don't even know Lao Zhuang, Confucius and Mencius! You haven't even read Jin Yong's novels Are you still a human?!" Then, he patted Huang Kai on the back of the head and said to everyone: "This guy is just a gorilla who is only two heads taller than me!" 24. Jiang Ruotong asked: "Teacher, which one of 'Supergirl' do you like?" Teacher Liu said: "Huang Yali! It would be great if she turned into a kitten. I want to hold her in my arms and play with her every day." 25. Teacher Liu said: "Li Yuchun's fans are called 'corn', Zhou Bichang's fans are called 'bibi', He Jie's fans are called 'hor fun', Huang Yali's fans are called 'lychee', Yi Zhongtian's fans are called 'ether'... What is the name of Liu Dabei’s fans? I’ve been thinking about it all night, and I’m worse than them!” He turned around and wrote four big characters on the blackboard——“Despicable (Sorrowful) Despicable (Liu)”.Then said: "In the future, when you meet, you will greet like this: Hey, are you mean and obscene today? You are called 'Baby' for short. You are all my 'Baby'!" 26. A student in Class 4 was caught sending text messages in class by Teacher Liu.He glanced at the phone and said, "What kind of love, what kind of shit do you know! It's purely a sexual impulse of puberty!" 27. Huang Kai looks in the mirror in class.Teacher Liu said: "How can a big man take a picture? If you are a donkey, the mirror will be broken, and there will be no angel in it!" 28. Teacher Liu wrote such a comment at the back of Liang Peishan's weekly diary: "You are really a good apprentice of Guo Xiaosi! Next time I submit an article full of snot and tears, I will report to you Kneel - let me go!" 29. On Teacher Liu.He said: "The Yue Buqun in the novel failed, but the Yue Buqun in reality is invincible. I have a little respect and sympathy for this kind of people." 30. Gong Shu asked Mr. Liu to evaluate himself in one sentence. He said: "There are people, there are gods, and there is Liu Dabei." 31. Su Chang asked: What do you think of many people on the Internet scolding Yi Zhongtian, saying that he talks about power and schemes and corrupts the morals of the world.Teacher Liu said: "People who know how to play tricks are born with it, and no one needs to teach them; You will find yourself troubled by such unreasonable thoughts." 32. Teacher Liu said: "Mencius said: 'The right thing to do is, even if there are tens of millions of people, I will go!' - Even if there are 70 million people, I will go; even if there are 700 billion people, I will go!" 33. Liang Gang asked: Some people think that Yi Zhongtian made the Three Kingdoms vulgar, entertaining, and vulgar, how do you think about it?Teacher Liu said: "You let the grandson who said this show us vulgar entertainment!" 34. Huang Kai called a girl a "bitch", was fined to run five laps, and was severely reprimanded by Teacher Liu in public.At last he said kindly: "Selling one's body is an ancient profession, destined to perpetuate human society. I don't think it's as shameful as people usually say. If prostitution is extremely immoral, ask those' What about "mistresses"? What about those college students who openly look for foster care on the Internet? What about actors and celebrities who aspire to marry wealthy families? What about ordinary girls who openly clamor to marry rich people? Aren't they more "bitch" Still a 'bitch'? —— It is immoral to sell yourself to different men every day, and it is moral to sell yourself to a man for a long time? It is immoral to retail a pig to different people at different times. It’s called immorality; is it moral to wholesale a whole pig to one person at once?!” 35. Gong Shu asked: How is Han Han?Teacher Liu said: "There are no heroes in this era, but Zhu Zi became famous!" 36. I heard a teacher talking about Li Yuchun with Teacher Liu.He said: "The girl deconstructed the aesthetics of Chinese men, just like a Frenchman painted two mustaches on the "Mona Lisa" in the history of painting. Li Yuchun is Xi Shi with a beard." 37. Lin Jiani asked: What is true love.Teacher Liu said: "Appreciate, don't possess." 38. Su Chang asked: Teacher, since you advocate tolerance, you still let us go for a run?Teacher Liu said: "If there were no punishments in schools, the country wouldn't need to open prisons." 39. Su Chang said: Teacher, everyone thinks you are moody and unpredictable.Teacher Liu said: "Teachers are actors, and I have to play my role well." 40. Huang Qiuhao wrote in his weekly diary that he called on all high school students all over the world to drop out of school together, so that the damned education system will not collapse.Teacher Liu commented: "Your idea is very brave, but your meaning is a jerk! You must be admitted to the university first, and you must remember the ancient saying: It is not too late for a gentleman to take revenge in ten years!" 41. Liang Peishan asked: Teacher, what do you think of Guo Jingming's "plagiarism incident".Teacher Liu said: "What's the point of asking for benevolence and getting benevolence?" blame?People who have done bad things will have retribution, just wait and see. " 42. Teacher Liu said: "I often feel that I am very close to the ancients, but far away from you." 43. Teacher Liu’s frequent catchphrase is: “Actually, I can’t teach you anything, and you can’t learn anything from me. Good students can’t be taught by anyone. I’m not here to teach you anything, I’m just here to wake you up .”