Chapter 12 Chapter Twelve I Don’t Cry, I Will Bet

Zheng Wei stayed at Chen Xiaozheng's house for two days, and as the Spring Festival was getting closer, she had to say goodbye reluctantly.When she left, Ah Zheng and his mother sent her to the bus station, and they didn't leave until the bus drove away. At night, Ah Zheng builds his models little by little under the dim light in his room. Many models have been formed by his hands, but this one is different. This is not a new concept of commercial and residential buildings. It's not a waterfront villa, but a hut that he intends to give to Zheng Wei.He never gave her flowers, nor could he give her any expensive gifts, but this was the only thing he could give her—their hut, the promise of the future.

Every table and chair in the hut was meticulously detailed, and he was so immersed in the work in hand that he didn't even notice that someone was standing behind him. "Ah Zheng." He didn't turn his head around until he heard a familiar voice. His mother didn't know when she entered his room, nor how long she had been watching. "Mom, are you still awake?" Mom always went to bed early, so Ah Zheng was quite surprised to see her at this time. "I fell asleep, but I didn't fall asleep. I saw that the light in your room was on, so I came over to take a look. What are you doing so preoccupied, what is this model used for?"

Chen Xiaozheng avoided this topic, and said: "It's too late, you should go to bed first, don't you have to go to work tomorrow?" His mother didn't leave, she smiled inexplicably, and touched the model in her son's hand, "What a beautiful house." He suddenly stopped what he was doing, and fixedly looked at his mother, "Mom, do you have something to tell me?" "Ah Zheng, come here." After hesitating for a moment, he followed his mother out of the room and came to his father's portrait.He stood aside, watching his mother light a stick of incense skillfully, and then carefully wiped the imperceptible dust on the mirror frame.

"Kneel down, Ah Zheng," she said.After a while, he turned his head and looked at his son who had not moved. He was still standing there with an indifferent expression on his face. "Don't you even listen to my words?" Her voice was tired and sour. Ever since she was a child, Chen Xiaozheng was most afraid of seeing such a mother. Whenever she looked like this, the bleakness of life in the past would be vividly remembered. However, he still didn't intend to kneel down. "I won't kneel because I didn't do anything wrong. Mom, of course I listen to you, but I have my own judgment."

"Yeah, you grew up and started to have what you thought was the right judgment, so after submitting the application form, you started to regret it again." Chen Xiaozheng smiled wryly when he heard the words, he knew he couldn't hide it from her, since she was in elementary school, she never gave up using various methods to get in touch with his school and his teachers, even when she went to college.She must have called his head teacher. Of course she knew about such a big matter.However, he had expected this day to come, so he didn't feel much surprise. "Yes, I regret it. I think I should have other choices. Going abroad is not necessarily the way I have to go." He said in a low voice.

"In the end, it's for Zheng Wei, right?" Mom's voice was dull. It turned out that she knew about it early in the morning, but during the two days when Zheng Wei was here, she didn't mention a word, Chen Xiaozheng didn't know whether he should be grateful, but he couldn't deny his mother's assumption, so he could only say: "That's right. , I admit that she is the most important reason." "You have never been like this before. My son is so strong. From the first day of college, isn't it always your goal to go abroad for further study? For what? We have had such a hard time these past few years, what is the purpose of saving every penny? Now the opportunity is finally here, your class teacher said that this year’s national government-sponsored study abroad quota is only 3,000, you Give up at this time, but tell me that you will lose this opportunity to be with her just because you are in love. Ah Zheng, you look at me and say to your father, loudly, is this your judgment?"

"I have always wanted to go out. Overseas has more advanced technology and a better academic atmosphere, but at that time I never thought that I would meet Zheng Wei. It was only after I was with her that I realized that I can also have Such a simple happiness." He looked at the person who gave birth to him and raised him, "Mom, I know you have worked hard these years, and I have always tried to do my best, but even in front of my father, I I'm not afraid to tell the truth, maybe I'm not as promising as you expected, I'm greedy for the happiness she gave me."

His mother's hand unconsciously rubbed the cold surface of her husband's photo frame, her voice was as hoarse as a sigh, "Ah Zheng, you tell me happiness? It's not that I don't understand happiness. When your father was still there, you were in my stomach, Our family of three is together, and I think I am happier than any woman in the world. Your father’s career is so smooth, a large state-owned enterprise with 2,000 employees, and he was promoted from the technical section chief of the factory to the general manager before he was 30 years old. Engineer. At that time, one of the people who came to the door during the holidays hadn’t left yet, and the other came again. Walking in the compound, no one would smile at each other. It’s my blessing, I can’t keep good things by nature, so you are here Three months in my stomach, your father went to the construction site and had an accident, and he never came back. He died, died on the construction site, the memorial service was held vigorously, wreaths filled the entire mourning hall, but the memorial service ended and the people dispersed, The tea is also cold, and the little pension that you get, you have a serious illness when you are less than a month old, so there is nothing left. That's all, the difficulty is that I am a woman with a child, and you were not healthy when you were young. Okay, but my type of job changes again and again, the rank is getting lower and lower, and the time to take care of you is getting less and less. I went to the factory manager and the chairman of the labor union, just asking them to change me to a job that doesn’t require three shifts. Department, they used to be like brothers and friends with your father, but at that time they would only talk to me about the difficulties in the factory with embarrassing faces, asking me to talk more about dedication and less demands. I am a widow, and I just want to be able to take care of you at night My son has not yet gone to kindergarten, so this request is too much? When you were in kindergarten, you had a high fever in the middle of the night, and the factory health center couldn’t cure it. I walked three kilometers with you on my back before arriving at the hospital. I was hospitalized for that Fei, I don’t know how many relatives’ doors I’ve knocked on, and they’ll just say, find another man, why bother to support it alone. Ah Zheng, I promised to guard your father’s life for his life, I can’t find another man , I still have memories and sons in common with him. Fortunately, you have been striving since you were a child. When you were admitted to college, all the money in the family and my salary in advance were not enough to cover the tuition fees. I asked your second uncle to borrow 500 yuan Money, he was willing to help us anyway, but after giving the money, he carried away the TV at home. He just calculated how much an old TV is worth. We don’t know when we can pay back the money. Recovering a little loss counts as a little... You know all of this, right? I say it again and again, you will only find it annoying, but this is life, Ah Zheng, I just want to tell you that there is no happiness in being poor."

Every memory she mentioned, every detail Chen Xiaozheng remembered in his heart, he couldn't forget the little bit of suffering when he was a child, that's why he was more willing to remember the little happiness that he was holding tightly in his hands now.He tried to make his voice calm, "I remember all these, Mom, but I don't think I will be poor if I don't go abroad. Believe me, when I graduate, our life will definitely get better and better, and you will too. There will be a blessed day." His mother looked back at him, and there was not a single tear in her bloodshot eyes. Ah Zheng remembered that when he was young, his mother always cried behind his back, but now, she no longer cried, "I can't believe it. You used to It has always been my pride, so sensible and reassuring, but now you have given up such a great opportunity for a girl. You must know that your family can't help you in your career, what? You have to rely on yourself. You can meet many good girls in your life, but how many shortcuts can you have to change your destiny? You don’t even have such a simple judgment, how can I believe that life will get better? You see Look at you, you used to know what you should do, but now, you stay up in the middle of the night and think about some unrealistic things. What is the use of your small house? Can it protect you from the wind and rain in the future? "

Chen Xiaozheng retorted with difficulty, "Mom, you and Dad have such a good relationship, you should know that some people can only meet once in a lifetime." His mother looked at his chapped hands and shook her head slowly, "I don't read as many books as you, and the truth I understand is very simple. Feelings are like monosodium glutamate. They can only be condiments, and they can't be full. If You think I'm an evil mother-in-law, trying to break up my son's happiness, then you are wrong, I don't hate the girl you brought back, I admit that I am selfish, I would rather you stay by my mother's side all my life, but when you grow up, you will eventually There will be such a day. By the way, her name is Zheng Wei, you like her, I understand, at your age, how can you not like such a good-looking and lively girl, but you have also seen, she is so delicate , have you suffered? Before your "good day" comes, can she endure with you? Even if she is willing to suffer with you, you will feel better? Poor and humble couples are sad, waiting for you to taste You will understand after suffering. You have been smart since you were a child. You should know that there are two kinds of women who are suitable for you as a child from a family like ours. She has no background, but she is smart and down-to-earth, and able to work hard with you, so that you have no worries. Zheng Wei is not of any kind. A girl like her needs someone to hold her in the palm of her hand. Ah Zheng, you don’t have this now qualifications."

Ah Zheng tightly clenched his hands on both sides of his body, "I don't want to hear this, Mom, don't force me, why do I have to choose between you and her?" The person in front of him laughed silently again, "I'm old, even if there are good days, how many days can I live, from the time your father died, my whole life is over. And your whole life is your own , even if you are my son, even if I hope you will be successful, I can't live for you. You don't want to listen to what I say, because you understand the truth of what I say, and you have thought about it yourself, so you are afraid now It. When you were three years old, I still hugged you and played with the neighbor’s children. Others teased you, asking what do you want to do when you grow up? Other children talked nonsense, only you, you said you want to do it Big things. We all laughed, three-year-olds know what big things are? But you were born to me, I know, you have been an ambitious kid since you were a child, so you have to do everything better than others, be better than others Promising. You are so hardworking, and you hope to be outstanding one day, is it just because of me? Did you never feel pain when you gave up this opportunity? Today you love her, and you think love is the most important thing, but when you fall in reality Come on, you will hate her sooner or later. So, your choice is never between me and her, you choose between yourself and her. " It was very late, and his mother seemed infinitely tired after saying this.When she walked back to the room, her back was old and bent.Chen Xiaozheng vaguely remembered that his mother was so beautiful and upright when he was young, until now some people still recall that his parents were a pair of talented men and beautiful women.In the gap between time and reality, youth and beauty are as fragile as air-dried paper. His mother closed the door of his own room, leaving him standing alone in front of his father's portrait. No one is forcing him anymore, but he is leaning on the edge of the dilapidated chest of drawers and slowly knelt on the cold concrete floor , looking at the calm and wise father in the photo, he is like a lost child, there are thousands of roads in front of him, which one is the place he is going? "Dad, tell me, did I do something wrong?" Just after the Lantern Festival, the school started.In the last semester of university, finding a job has become the key word in the life of graduates. With the news that students around me signed contracts one by one, the restless atmosphere that is unique to the eve of university graduation has also intensified. The first person in Zheng Wei's dormitory to sign an employment agreement was He Luya. She chose to return to a mechanical vocational technical school in the county where her hometown is located to be a teacher. In this way, she could finally reunite with her boyfriend who graduated and was assigned back to her hometown. .Regarding her decision, several other roommates privately felt sorry for her. Her grades were good, and she might not find a better unit if she waited any longer, especially Li Weijuan, who kept complaining that she was stupid. The city is crowded, but she wants to go back to that poor country.But as Ruan Ruan said, a child is not a fish, so how do you know the joy of a fish?Everyone has their own life, and who can predict who will be happy or sad in the future. Zhuo Mei is not keen on finding a job, and the family will make arrangements for her. In her words, if she can't find a job, she simply finds someone to marry. Zhu Xiaobei devoted herself to taking the postgraduate entrance examination. She said that the society is too complicated. For a white person like her, it is only a day if she can delay entering the big dye vat. On the contrary, Li Weijuan is often in a hurry to find a job. Once Zheng Wei saw that she clearly didn't use the phone in the dormitory, but went to the IP phone booth downstairs to contact work, and said to Ruan Ruan with a smile: As for, Like thieves.Ruan Ruan smiled.At that time, Li Weijuan already had a boyfriend who was a second-year graduate student at school, and they probably had differences of opinion on the future choice, so she did not hesitate to cut the cord of love.When we broke up, I was also sad for a few days. Zhu Xiaobei said to her, why bother, why wouldn't it be okay if the two of them survived together?She looked sad, but her words were righteous: college life was lonely and depressing, it was just a matter of walking with them for a while, different ways and not conspiring with each other, parting ways was the best choice, anyway, they were just conforming to the trend of breaking up in senior year. What Zheng Wei asked the most was Ruan Ruan's future whereabouts. In fact, Ruan Ruan's grades are so good, it would be a pity not to continue her studies.However, her ambition is not here. She said that she is a woman with no ambitions, and she does not want to become a scholar or a strong woman. After studying here, she thinks it is enough, and then it will stop here. She only hopes that her future life will be simpler and happier. .She told Zheng Wei that she had a private agreement with Shiyong that neither of them would return to their hometowns. Shiyong's internship unit in S City was quite satisfied with his performance, and intended to formally sign him after graduation. In this way, Ruan Ruan would definitely Looking for a job in S City, and settled in S City with Shiyong from then on.Ruan Ruan said that they had no choice but to do so. Zhao Shiyong's family was too powerful, and only by staying away from them, far away from the emperor, could they find peace. Zheng Wei was not without sadness, she said: "Ruan Ruan, I really want to work in the same city as you, if there is anything, I can find you as soon as possible, and then we can go shopping and eat together like before." Ruan Ruan smiled at her, "There is always a banquet in the world. I am with Shiyong, just like you can't bear your Ah Zheng. What's more, G City and S City are adjacent. Communication and transportation are so convenient now. We want to see each other, not at any time Is everything okay?" "But are you sure that Zhao Shiyong will be able to sign in City S smoothly, I mean, will his family have already made arrangements, and he is such an obedient card." Zheng Wei is still a little worried about Ruan Ruan's matter. Ruan Ruan hesitated for a moment, but said firmly: "He promised me, I believe him." In this way, in the days that followed, Ruan Ruan successfully signed a contract with an architectural design institute in S City with her impeccable grades and comprehensive quality.Zheng Wei and Ah Zheng also took part in the initial examination of China Construction shortly after the start of school. Although China Construction still told them to wait for the notice, she was quite satisfied with her performance and firmly believed that both herself and Ah Zheng could successfully pass the re-examination, and then went all the way. Passed the test and successfully won China State Construction. It's strange to say that there are fewer and fewer courses in the graduating class, but Chen Xiaozheng seems to be getting busier and busier. He no longer hangs out with Zheng Wei every day like before. Many times, Zheng Wei, who is his girlfriend, can't figure it out. What the hell is he up to.Occasionally when the two of them had a meal together, he would also be in a hurry and absent-minded, Zheng Wei knew that if he asked him, he would not be able to find out why, so he could only classify his symptoms as: Graduate Intermittent Syndrome.She thought that as long as this time passed, everything would be fine. Having said that, sometimes she wanted to talk to him, but couldn't find anyone for a while. She was short-tempered, and it was inevitable that she would lose her temper when she saw him.Chen Xiaozheng also seemed to feel a little guilty, and while comforting her, he solemnly promised her that in a few days, both of them would have no classes, so they had to accompany her well, and she could go wherever she wanted. Zheng Wei proposed to go to the zoo, the reason is that she has been in G City for four years, and she has never been to a zoo.Chen Xiaozheng laughed at her childish temper, but still willing to go with her. In the southern city in April, the flowers are blooming like brocades, the two got off the bus and walked for a while, Chen Xiaozheng saw that there seemed to be thin beads of sweat on her forehead, so he proposed to go to the front to buy her a bottle of water, Zheng Wei tricked herself from herself He took out two full mineral water bottles from his backpack, and said triumphantly, "Look, I expected to use it. Chen Xiaozheng took the water from her, and smiled in surprise, "You just carried two big bottles of water on your back for such a long distance? Is it not sinking? No wonder you are sweating like this." She is a lazy person. In the past, it was too heavy to carry a parasol when going out. It is really not her style now.She said with joy when she heard the words: "You don't understand this, right? A bottle of water costs one dollar anyway. By doing this, I saved at least two dollars. That's how money is accumulated penny by penny." Yes, I don’t even go shopping now, I have to save the money until I go to Wuyuan on May 1st, and then I’ll have a big game, and it’ll be fun.” Having said that, she still couldn't help being speechless when wiping her sweat, and smiled silly, "To be honest, it's really a bit heavy." Without further ado, Chen Xiaozheng carried her bag on his shoulder, and he took a sip of water, the taste of which, only he knew. The entrance fee to the zoo was 20 yuan each, which made Zheng Wei feel distressed for a while, but the cute big and small animals in the park immediately made her feel that it was worth the price. She fed the monkeys for a while, and teased the birds for a while, as happy as a Like a child, even Chen Xiaozheng laughed along with her. When they passed by the aquarium, they wanted to go in, but they were stopped by the staff on duty at the door, and they realized that there was an additional entrance fee.Zheng Wei fixedly stared at the cute dolphins and seals on the promotional posters, lingering and refusing to leave, but remembering the ticket price of fifteen yuan per person, she made up her mind and pulled Chen Xiaozheng away, comforting herself , "What's so good about this, what's so good about this." She took a few steps forward with all her strength, only to find that Ah Zheng, whom she was pulling, stood motionless. He let go of her, went to the ticket window and bought her a ticket, stuffed it into her hand, and smiled. Said: "Go in and have a look by yourself. My house is near the sea. I don't like these things. I'll just wait for you at the door." She shook her head, "No, what's the point of me going in alone, you're about to refund the ticket, if you want to come in we'll go in together, or you won't go in at all." When she was struggling, it was not easy to convince her. Two stubborn young people argued for a while at the entrance of the aquarium for this ticket. Finally, the old aunt who sold the ticket saw the two young people. People are so distressing, today is not the weekend, the surroundings are deserted, and there is no one there, so let them be quiet and let the two of them go in together. Zheng Wei wished he could rush up and kiss the fat aunt, and finally flattered him, "Auntie, you have such a kind heart, no wonder you are so young and beautiful." The auntie smiled, and quickly waved for them to go in quickly. At the end of the day, the two played to their heart's content. When they went back, they sat on the bus. Zheng Wei was tired, so she leaned on Ah Zheng's shoulder and sighed happily, "It's been a long time since I had so much fun." After a long time, she heard The person next to him gave a soft "hmm". What feeling could be better than cuddling on your lover's shoulder after you're tired?Zheng Wei's heart was playing a cheerful movement, she sat on his shoulder contentedly and serenely, drowsy.When she was half asleep and half awake, she noticed that he stroked her hair, and then lightly touched her long eyelashes that fluttered like butterflies. Zheng Wei, who was immersed in warmth and sweetness, suddenly felt that this scene seemed familiar.That's right, more than four years ago, when she was seventeen years old, she was also on such a rickety bus when she felt a soft kiss on her eyes from the boy she liked. Like a bird fluttering its wings, she thought that no one was luckier than her, that everything she wanted would come true.However, what awaited her next was that person who left without saying goodbye across the ocean, and had a long farewell. She didn't know why she was like this. When she was the happiest, she was most afraid of parting. She suddenly hugged Ah Zheng's arm tightly and murmured, "Ah Zheng, don't leave." He seemed to be taken aback, his reaction was so startled, "Wei Wei, what did you just say?" She felt embarrassed about her sudden nervousness, "I didn't say anything, and suddenly I was afraid that you would disappear. Ah Zheng, you promise me, don't let me wait for you, I'm afraid I don't have enough courage to wait here, let alone I'm afraid that if we walk, we will never find each other again." He didn't answer. That night, when the lights were turned off in the dormitory, Zheng Wei was lying on the bed when she suddenly heard Li Weijuan yelling "Oh!" I came to see you, I said you were not here, and he asked me if I knew where you had been, and I said it seemed like I went out with my boyfriend, but he said 'oh', and didn't say anything, and didn't leave a name .Do you know who is looking for you?" "Who is it?" Zheng Wei looked at the top of the mosquito net with a confused face, "Couldn't it be Lao Zhang?" Lao Zhang has been graduating for more than half a year, and he still calls from time to time to harass little Zheng Wei. Li Weijuan smiled, "How can I? I can't hear Lao Zhang's broken voice. The person who called today is so polite. I dare say I haven't answered his call. Tell my sister quickly. Tell me, do you have any good resources, if you want, don't forget that my sister is single now, but don't let the fat and water go to outsiders." Zheng Wei said doubtfully: "The problem is that I don't remember knowing such a person. Forget it, I will call again if something really happens." She thought for a while, but she still had no idea, so she put the matter behind her. . At the same time, in the boys' dormitory, Chen Xiaozheng didn't sleep. He finished the final process on the model of the hut on his desk. He looked at it. It took him several months to make it. A work of painstaking effort, but now even he himself does not believe that this hut can shelter his love and protect them from the wind and rain. He suddenly remembered what Zeng Yu said to him that day. She pointed to the multimedia building that was under construction at the school and said, "Did you see those people wearing hard hats? Except for migrant workers, there are also some people like you and me. A few years ago, I studied architecture. This society is so realistic. No matter how talented you are, you have to work on the construction site regardless of your relationship or background. Of course, maybe one day you will make it through, but when will that day be? , Maybe one or two years, maybe three to five years, maybe longer... Who knows? So, Ah Zheng, you have to think clearly, not all wrong paths can be repeated." Reality is such a cruel thing, it always destroys your belief little by little when you are not aware of it, and destroys the promise you thought you could give.What is growing up?A child grows up when he learns that a diamond is more precious than a beautiful marble, and he understands this earlier than any child. The girl he loves is so innocent, she loves everything that is full of little love and fun, and she doesn't know what to worry about. She is a jade-faced little dragon who goes forward bravely. sky.As for him, he only has a dilapidated roof.Of course, as long as he is willing, he believes that she will always stay by his side and never leave, but when the sweetness of love dissipates, will she become a realistic and haggard woman because of him in the passing of life? ?He shivered, if there was such a day, he would hate himself - he was even more afraid that when that day came, he would hate her. Mom's words are cruel, but she is right, his choice has always been between himself and Zheng Wei.He watched as his hands slowly dismantled the hut piece by piece—in fact, the choice was already in his mind. The train station before May Day sells tickets ten days in advance, sleeping berth tickets are not easy to buy, Zheng Wei waited in line at the crowded train station all afternoon, but got nothing.In the end, she was quite clever, and remembered Lao Zhang who had become a member of the society. Lao Zhang was always well-rounded, and he recognized many people of all kinds. Zheng Wei made a phone call, and he readily agreed, and it took less than two days. , I really got her a hard sleeper ticket from City G to Nanchang.As long as she arrives in Nanchang, it will be her little flying dragon's territory, and how to transfer to Wuyuan is a breeze. Holding the train ticket she just got from Old Zhang, Zheng Wei ran back to the dormitory happily, while pushing open the door, she hummed: "I'm smiling smugly, I'm laughing smugly." "Hey, did you get the honeymoon ticket so early?" Zhu Xiaobei couldn't help joking when he saw her smiling face. "Of course, I not only got the ticket, but also arranged a seven-day itinerary. I want to take him into Wuyuan and go up to Lushan Mountain, so that he can see our great rivers and mountains in Jiangxi. Of course, I will also visit me by the way." Mom and Dad, that is, his future father-in-law and mother-in-law." Zheng Wei responded without any shyness. Ruan Ruan also laughed at her, "It is said that you people from Jiangxi study first and raise pigs second, you should let Chen Xiaozheng see it." Zheng Wei was in a good mood and was very magnanimous. She waved her hand to express her disdain to care about them, and sat down on the stool next to the phone, "I have to call Ah Zheng first and tell him that the tickets are already in hand." Just halfway through the phone call, the dormitory door was pushed open, Zheng Wei looked over displeased, and Li Weijuan rushed in with sweat on her face. "What kind of crazy is it? I'm about to graduate, and I have to destroy the door that I can't leave, right?" Zhu Xiaobei said. Li Weijuan looked like she was on fire, "I'm too lazy to grind my teeth with you, Zheng Wei, something serious happened, I heard a terrible news..." "Tch, when will you not have violent gossip rumors?" Zheng Wei has lost interest in Li Weijuan's "rumors" after listening to them for four years, and continues to call her. Li Weijuan put one hand on the phone, "I mean you, you were sold and paid for. I just got reliable news from the student union that your family, Chen Xiaozheng, has one of the only two government-sponsored study places in the whole school." , I heard that he is going to the United States, and the visa has been issued, he is really promising, such a big matter is kept secret, you fool, are you still in the dark?" Zheng Wei was stunned for a moment, then laughed out loud, "I mean you, those gossips are getting more and more out of order, I just had dinner with him the day before yesterday, and he even told me about going to Wuyuan. Master Li, don't come here, it's a bit too much to fool this person." Li Weijuan was really anxious this time, pointing at Zheng Wei's nose, she said, "You're really stupid to say you're stupid, can you joke about this, let alone the courtyard, the news is spread all over the student union in the department, you love Believe it or not, don't have nowhere to cry." "You're talking nonsense!" Zheng Wei also stood up angrily, "He never told me about this, of course I believe him. I'm his girlfriend, how can I not know about him?" "You... Forget it, I'm meddlesome, and you treat me like a donkey with good intentions. If you don't believe me, go and confront him face to face." Li Weijuan stamped her feet. "Just go." Zheng Wei is the person who immediately puts into action whatever comes to his mind, and as soon as he finished speaking, he already ran to the door. "When I ask him clearly, let's see how you gossip!" The sound of her closing the door was heavy and urgent, causing Ruan Ruan and Zhu Xiaobei to look at each other, Ruan Ruan suddenly said, "Oops." Zhu Xiaobei immediately understood, and immediately widened his eyes, "Oh my god, nothing will happen, right? .” The two ran out without saying a word. When they went downstairs, Zhu Xiaobei grabbed Ruan Ruan, "Do you think we should go to those lakes, reservoirs, etc., she might not think about it for a while..." Ruan Ruan immediately interrupted her, "When are you still talking about this, you go to the study room in our courtyard, and I'll take a look around Chen Xiaozheng's dormitory, remember, just take a look, we'll come back if nothing happens. " "I know." Zhu Xiaobei responded, and the two split up. Ruan Ruan guessed right, Zheng Wei was going in the direction of Chen Xiaozheng's dormitory, she walked for a while, ran for a while, when she went upstairs, she met a boy from the same class, and went straight to his place without saying hello. When she opened the door and entered, he stood in front of his bed with his back to her, as if he was packing his things. There was a big suitcase under his feet. He turned his head only when he heard her panting after running fast. "Wei Wei?" He was a little surprised at first, but soon his expression calmed down, "Why are you here?" "I suddenly wanted to come and see you." She rubbed her chest with one hand, trying to calm her breathing, "Ah Zheng, you must have packed your luggage for Wuyuan so early, right?" He turned his head and continued to tidy things up, she walked up to him and said with a smile: "You know, I heard a joke from Li Weijuan just now, she actually said that you are going abroad, and it's America again, haha, Do you think it's funny?" Chen Xiaozheng was silent, then suddenly dropped the things in his hand, turned around and grabbed her hand, "Wei Wei, come with me first, let's talk in another place." Without saying a word, she let him drag her downstairs to the basketball court near the boys' dormitory. During lunch break, the basketball court was empty, only they and the wind. He stood still, let go of her hand, took a deep breath, "Wei Wei, I'm sorry." "Why are you sorry, have you done something bad again?" She looked at it as usual, with a bright smile on her face. For a moment, Chen Xiaozheng felt his heart tightening. He thought he couldn't continue to say the rest of the words. It turned out that he was not as firm as he imagined after all. "What they said is true. I thought I could accompany When you went to Wuyuan, you didn’t expect the visa to be issued so quickly.” "They? Are you referring to what Li Weijuan said? Ah Zheng, it's been more than 20 days since April Fool's Day, and you still play this?" She dragged his hand, still smiling coquettishly.And he just lowered his head, kept lowering his head, suddenly afraid to see her smile at this moment. Finally, she let go of his hand and said in a daze, "So, I was the last to know?" "I've thought about it for a long time, but I can't find a way to make you feel less sad." "I'm not sad. You kept it from me until you couldn't hide it anymore, so I wouldn't be sad? Chen Xiaozheng, what kind of logic is this?" Tears of disappointment began to roll in her eyes again. Can't cry, she absolutely can't cry, if the tears fall, it's tantamount to admitting that the sadness is a foregone conclusion, she doesn't want such a foregone conclusion, so she looks at the sky, wondering if the tears can flow upstream? "I said before that my life is a building that can only be built once, so I can't afford to be wrong, Wei Wei, not even a centimeter." Who said that men with thin lips are cold and cruel by nature? "That's why you just woke up now and corrected your one-centimeter error in time? The person I like to study abroad on a public school is indeed the most promising one. But I don't understand, your future must not coexist with mine? Even if You confessed to me early in the morning that I may not hinder you. Is it because I have never been in your blueprint?" He didn't speak, so she pushed him hard, "Explain, you can explain, I want your explanation..." She tried her best to hoarse but ended up begging, "Ah Zheng, give me an explanation, what are you talking about?" It doesn't matter, just say that you are forced to, or that you are doing it for my own good, and I will accept whatever you say." He held her hand on his chest, "Wei Wei, one day you will understand that people must love themselves first. I can't love you with nothing." "So you want to love yourself back?" "Maybe you will never understand if you say it out. I am used to poverty, but there is no way for the girl I like to endure poverty." "You just decided that being with me must be poor? Why didn't you even ask me, maybe I'm willing to suffer with you." "But I don't want to!" For the first time, his tone had strong emotional ups and downs. This is the end of the words, Zheng Wei, as long as you have a little bit of backbone, you should walk away, you can't keep your love, at least you can keep your dignity. But at this moment, Zheng Wei said to herself, if I can't get back my love, dignity can make me less sad? 所以最后的一刻，她终于收拾了她的眼泪和愤怒， “阿正，你等我，我回去跟我爸爸妈妈说，然后我考托，去跟你在一起，最不济，我还可以等。” 他看着她，说，“不不，你别等，因为我不一定会等。” 阮阮终于走过来的时候，陈孝正已转身离去，她拉着郑微的手，“微微呀，我们走。” 四月的天，清明后的时节，天边来了乌云，天色就迅速地就暗了下来，风卷起沙尘，轻易地迷了眼。 郑微挣开阮阮的手，“你看，起风了，我怎么一点都没觉得冷？” 这是她选择的道路，她选择的男人，所以也是她选择了一个人站在这样的风里，冷，也不能吱声。 阮阮伸手挡住风沙，“天太黑了，我可以假装看不见你哭。” 郑微摇头，“我不哭，阮阮，我愿赌服输。” 大学四年，郑微习惯了别人的眼神，但是她还是第一次让自己去适应那些嘲笑中带点同情的眼神，众人瞩目的一对，郎才女貌的佳偶，末了，不外乎曲终人散的结局。 她照吃照睡，偶尔也被朱小北并不好笑的冷笑话逗得开怀大笑。有什么办法，在操场上告别他的第二天，一觉醒来，她觉得天都塌了。可是推开窗，大雨过后的天多么晴朗，窗前走过的人们忙碌而表情各异，或许是悲，或许是喜。这个地球不会因为一个人彻底的伤了心而改变它的自然规律，她在梦里无望到不相信再有天光。可是次日太阳一样升起，生活依旧继续。 实在撑不下去的时候，她一个人偷偷在被子里给妈妈打电话，电话一接通，那边就传来了低至无声的悲泣。林伯伯的身体本来就不好，情绪上的激烈起伏和事业上的打击让他死在了一个星期前的一天。他死的时候仍然是他妻子的丈夫，一个有妇之夫。纵然他生前给了郑微妈妈多少承诺，铁了心地离婚，然而当他死后，她连进入灵堂看他一眼也成为奢望。死亡让林静的妈妈孙阿姨在这场持久战中取得了胜利，她终于完美的捍卫了她的婚姻，再也没有人能夺走她的丈夫。 郑微不知道自己是怎样结束了和妈妈的通话。几天之后，她收拾行装，揣着两张火车票，前往她一个人的婺源。火车开动的时候，她不敢仰望天空，如果他在云端此刻俯视，会不会低头寻找那个他曾经允诺过要跟她一同到达的地方？ 李庄村口的大槐树，就像她梦中一般枝繁叶茂，老态龙钟，它不知站在这里多少年，见证了悲喜，见惯了离合，那种看透世态的沉默和木讷莫名地抚慰了郑微的感伤。 向远——郑微在村里用十五块前请来的当地向导，尽职尽责地陪在她的身边。这个有着狐狸一般、笑起来眯成一条线的眼睛的女孩告诉她，村口的老槐树多少代以来，都是生活过的男女爱情的见证。他们在树下相会，在树下祈愿，或许也在树下别离……就在昨天，还有个城里人，按照亡者的遗愿，把他父亲的骨灰洒在了大槐树脚。 郑微想起了那个故事，出轨的男人死前把房子和遗产留给了妻儿，却把最爱的一片树叶赠给了他爱的女人。爱情的分量，也不过是一枚落叶和死后的尘灰。 郑微请向远帮了个忙，在老槐树的树脚掘了个不深不浅的坑。向远欣然应允，她答应掘坑的代价是二十块人民币，不过她说，如果郑微给她五十块，她愿意代她好好守护这个坑里的东西。 郑微觉得这是笔划算的买卖，于是她在老槐树下，终于一点一点地埋葬了她的《安徒生童话》和木头小龙。 站在山巅的时候，郑微俯视山下的老槐树，听见向远遥遥对着山那边喊，“我要发财！” 她也把两手聚拢在嘴前，用尽所有的力气喊道：“美国，万恶的资本主义国家，把我的男人还给我……” 远山回音：“发财……发财……还给我……还给我……” 郑微跟向远一起没心没肺地笑得前俯后仰，然后，在这个她梦想到达的地方，在一个不相干的陌生人面前，二十二岁的郑微终于泪流满面。