Chapter 7 Section VI

Half a month later, I became a primary school student in the third grade of Hongxing Primary School.It's all thanks to her and Anan's management.I think she must have spent a lot of money, which really makes me feel a little uncomfortable. Anan asked a doctor to come home to treat her injury. It is said that some special medicine was used, and her body recovered slowly.The night before class, she bought me a big bag of stuff.In addition to the school bag and pencil case, there are three new clothes.Red, yellow and green, very bright colors, all are dresses.When I was in Ya'an, I never owned a dress.When I saw those skirts, I felt like a dream, so that I blushed slightly.But she insisted that I change them one by one for her to see.She lit a cigarette, sat on the head of the bed, looked at me, and said sincerely: "Ma Zhuo, you are so happy. When I was young, I dressed like a rag picker. When I grew up, I bought my clothes with money from the family. Oh, never been a fairy fair and square."

I looked at her and said nothing.She suddenly put out the cigarette nervously, held my shoulders, stared at me with her big eyes, and said, "Ma Zhuo, don't steal money. I'll give you as much as you want, but don't steal it." ,clear?" "I have never stolen money." I gently shook her off. She slapped me hard and smiled exaggeratedly, making me worry that her wound that had just healed would open again.I secretly thought in my heart, did she steal a lot of money? But I know she likes money.I've seen her count the money, the money in her drawer, she seems to count back and forth several times a day.I don't know how much money she has, but money should be very important to her.Her liquor business seems to be doing well. She has many calls every day and has to deal with many customers.That night, Anan helped her move out the small room where the wine was originally stored for me to live in. The wine was too much to pile up on the balcony. I heard Anan say to her: "Why don't you put it in my supermarket."

She said with a straight face, "The last payment has not been settled yet." "That's not what I meant." Anan hurriedly explained, "Besides, it must be cleared at the end of the month. When did you owe you money?" She smiled with her mouth crooked and stopped talking. I really don't understand, Anan is so kind to her, why should she be so fussy.The gauze on Anan's forehead had just been removed, and the scar was still obvious. After all, she was the one who smashed it, but she never asked a question.I once saw Anan help her deliver goods. He drove a flatbed truck and packed boxes of wine, back and forth, tirelessly, but she never paid him a penny.

That night, I slept alone in a small room, the room smelled of alcohol, and I couldn't fall asleep, so I sat up, opened the curtains, and looked out the window with my legs crossed at the dark night.I miss grandma, I really miss her, but I know that I will never go back to that home. "Why aren't you asleep?" She opened the door and came in, turning on the light.I saw her put on beautiful makeup, beautiful dress and high heels, she must be going out again. She said to me: "Go to bed early, Anan will come to take you to school tomorrow morning, don't be late."

"Where are you going?" I asked her. "Get out," she said. "Is Anan going too?" "What are you thinking about?" She walked in, patted my head, and said with a smile, "Don't worry about adults' business." I smelled the perfume on her body, and it made me dizzy.She is so glamorous, seeking pleasure under the pretext of working, I really don't know what is going on in her heart. Early the next morning, I wore my new skirt to school, and Anan came to my house early on his motorcycle.He also bought me breakfast, two big buns, and a pack of soy milk.I ate them in a hurry and said thank you.He looked at me with satisfaction and said, "Buy milk tomorrow, drink milk and grow taller."

I looked at his caring expression and hated Lin Guoguo's ruthlessness. In gym class the day before, I was jumping rope in a corner by myself.Blueprint’s class also had physical education class, she bought another ice cream, and it was the same flavor as last time, she licked tirelessly, walked to my side, and said to me in a long voice: “Hey—— Last time I helped you enter the house, you haven't thanked me yet." "Thank you." I stopped skipping rope and said softly to her.She nodded contentedly, licked the ice cream, and walked away in a skip.I continued to dance, but just as she walked away, she turned around and ran over, looked at my new clothes, and said enviously: "Good boy, it seems that Lin Guoguo is not poor at all."

I looked at her blankly. I don't know what a "good boy" is.At that time, I didn't even know that there was such a thing as a "famous brand" in this world.But one thing I know very well, she is not poor.Maybe, she just doesn't know how to be a good mother.Just like she never knew how to take care of me, and often forgot whether I had eaten or whether I was lonely, her life was always different from others, she slept at home during the day, went out at night, and then came back at dawn and continued to sleep. The only one who cares about me is Anan. Anan often brings some delicious food, but of course he doesn't come every day. I have already learned to use the microwave oven, cook dinner by myself, do homework alone, go to bed alone, and go to and from school alone.

Everything is fine at school.It's just that my grades are very backward, but the students here are very kind and don't underestimate me.One day the teacher asked me to get up to read the text. I was a little afraid to speak, and my voice became smaller and smaller. Instead of laughing, they read in unison to save me from embarrassment.Compared with my former classmates who only called me "hornet's nest", I am quite satisfied in my heart. So, I made up my mind to be a good student. The blueprint is in the class next to me.When school is over, she always likes to come up and walk with me.She still talked a lot: "I heard that Lin Guoguo is your aunt, but why don't you live with your parents? I think children are happier living with their parents. Of course, Chengdu is much better than Ya'an , you can ask your parents to come to Chengdu to work, there are still many opportunities to work here, my mother can help introduce..."

I very much hope that a seal can fly down from the sky to seal her chattering mouth tightly. Actually, it's not that I really don't want to be good friends with Blueprint.But I also feel that she came to talk to me purely because she felt bored and needed to be friends with me.Although I don't quite understand the meaning of the word boring, I think it should be a feeling of wanting to talk to someone. So, why should I talk to her?Besides, she never cared about calling Lin Guoguo Auntie, she didn't understand any manners, and I couldn't be friends with her. Just then.A horn sounded in front, it was Anan, he would pick me up whenever he was free.I was overjoyed, and walked forward quickly, but Lantu grabbed me, and said with a smile in my ear: "This man wants to be your uncle."

If... Actually... Of course I would. Anan is really a good person. I believe there are many good people in this world, but Anan is the only one I meet now.So I felt wronged for Anan, and I sincerely hoped that she could treat Anan better, but for some reason, her temper became more irritable, and of course Anan and I were the most unlucky. This day is not a special day, perhaps to make her feel better, Anan invited me to eat out with her.She ordered a lot of dishes, and she took the time to sigh while eating. It seemed that she had indeed encountered something bothering her.Anan looked at her distressedly, then took a piece of fish for me, and said to me: "Ma Zhuo, you should eat more, you are too thin."

"Yeah, eat more." She tapped the side of the bowl with her chopsticks, "otherwise people will think I'm abusing you." I lowered my head to eat fish, and she suddenly asked me, "How was school?" "It's okay." I said. "What do you mean, okay?" She asked me, "Do you know how much money my mother spent to get you into that school? You have a black account and are not eligible to go to school at all." People around looked at her slightly.I blushed and didn't know what to say. "Give her some time." Anan spoke for me, "I think Ma Zhuo still needs to get used to the environment." "Haha." She laughed suddenly, and then said in a very contemptuous tone, "However, I don't expect her grades to be very good. Neither my father nor I are suitable for studying, let's make do with it, and marry someone in the future." A rich man is fine. If a woman does not marry a rich man, she will die of exhaustion and starvation sooner or later, or she will die of anger!" I involuntarily looked at Anan.He didn't look at me, just picked up his glass and drank it down. I got up and went outside the restaurant. I couldn't hold it back, and started crying. Actually, I haven't cried for a long time, but when I started crying, my tears kept coming, and I couldn't even understand it.I can't tell why I am sad, is it for my poor self?Damn her?Or the sad Anan? After a while, she chased me out and asked me, "What's the matter, why are you playing tricks?" I didn't answer her, didn't wipe my tears, just twitched. "Fuck!" she said, "Don't do this with me, I'm in a bad mood, so don't mess with me." Well, if you can't afford to provoke, you can afford to hide.I continued walking until I came to the side of the road.Her voice kept chasing after her: "Ma Zhuo, come back to me, or you will never see me again!" I ran desperately, I didn't know anything about Chengdu, I didn't know almost anywhere except the school and Chengdu Garden.Where can I go?But I know I have no choice but to run or run. She didn't come after me.My heart suddenly became like a mass of ashes.I found a public phone booth, and there was a line written on the sign of the phone booth: 30 cents a minute for long distance.I touched the only one dollar coin in my pocket, and dialed Ya'an's home phone. I hoped to hear grandma's voice, and hoped that she would tell me, "Ma Zhuo, where are you? I'll take you home. .” But the person who answered the phone was my uncle.He asked gruffly, "Which one are you looking for?!" I can't say a word. I hastily hung up the phone. Oh, grandma, grandma, can I really not go back?If I ran back suddenly, would you still want me? That night, Anan found me at the coach station.He shook me awake and said to me: "Ma Zhuo, I've been looking for you for a long time, don't run around anymore, do you hear me?" I opened my eyes, only to find that I was sleeping on the ground, my tears flowed down again unexpectedly, so I buried my head desperately to prevent Anan from finding out.At least when I was in Ya'an, I still had a place to live, but now—the world is so big, where is my home?Why did I follow her, am I really crazy? I pushed Anan away and ran out, but he quickly caught up with me and grabbed me. I opened my mouth and bit his hand hard. He endured the pain and did not let go.I don't know how long it took me to bite it before letting go. When I saw the heavy wounds on his hands, I couldn't help crying. "It's okay, it's okay." He patted me on the back and said, "Uncle will take you home." That night, Anan took me back to his home. He was driving a motorcycle, and I sat on the back, lying on his back, and clung to the hem of his clothes, just because I was afraid of falling off.He passed his body temperature to me, but he was silent all the way. When I arrived at his home, I realized that the so-called "supermarket" he said was just a small grocery store with a shop downstairs and people living upstairs.He gave me his room.Holding the quilt by myself, I went downstairs.And she never showed up, and I didn't know until later that she made a wrong deal and was cheated out of 30,000 yuan.In those days, she kept shutting herself up at home to drink, and sing while drinking, until dawn. I stayed at Anan's house for two days, and I have been reluctant to go back.Until Anan persuaded me: "Don't be angry with her, she misses you very much." "Is your forehead better?" I didn't believe it at all, and even learned to change the subject. "It's better." He stretched out his hand to touch it, and said seriously, "It doesn't hurt at all now." I smiled at him.After I came to Chengdu, I seldom smiled. When I was in Ya’an, although I had various unpleasant experiences, I was a child after all, and I still loved to sing and laugh.But now, whether at school or at home, my expression is more silent.I don't know why.Among all the strangers I met in Chengdu, the only one I like is Anan.He doesn't talk much, but he doesn't treat me like a child at all, unlike my mother, who always looks down on me, or thinks I'm like her, she doesn't know how to be a mother at all. But no matter what, I am already sensible, I am not close to An Nan, and staying in his house is not a long-term solution, so I obediently asked An Nan to send me back. But when Anan parked his motorcycle at the gate of the community and carried me off the car, I suddenly wanted to climb on his motorcycle and go home with him.Thinking about it now, my attachment to Anan may have started from this moment.Or maybe it started from his unfinished movement, from the moment he lifted me up high. How I wish he would be my father. When I got to the door of the house, I took a step back unconsciously. I was very afraid to see her, and I didn't know why. When Lantu heard the sound, she opened the door and slipped out. She said to me mysteriously, "Lin Guoguo is crazy, Ma Zhuo, I think you'd better go back to your parents to be safe." "Go, go back to your own house!" Anan drove her home, turned around and knocked on the door for me, she opened the door quickly, but turned around without looking at me. I walked into this house, which was still unfamiliar to me, and found that nothing had changed.The booze still lingers, her bedside table is still cluttered with all kinds of mess, my new dresses look laundered, but they're crooked, and she puts them on the floor instead of putting them away. into the cupboard. It turns out that my mother can't even fold clothes. As soon as Anan entered the door, he started looking for a broom to sweep the floor.This has almost become a compulsory course for him every time he comes here. She went back to her room without a word and closed the door softly. Anan nuzzled at me, beckoning me to go and see her. I worked hard with both hands to unscrew her door.She was sitting on the ground—just like the squeamish monitor of our class in Ya’an when he didn’t get 100 points in the exam, tearing up the test paper angrily, crying with great aggrievedness while tearing—the difference was that she It was my new clothes that were torn. I don't feel guilty, really, not at all.I just feel sorry for her and for myself.I walked over, knelt down, and snatched the dress from her hand.She yelled at me, "Go, go, go, you never fucking come back! Go! Go!" However, suddenly she hugged me tightly again, crying louder and louder. As if with a magical premonition, I felt that I was going to lose her, that she would disappear forever, disappear by my side as resolutely as I did when I was a child, and be scattered to the end of the world like a dandelion blown by the wind, I never know when she will come back.We, mother and daughter, do not have the kind of life that depends on each other. Thinking of this, I couldn't help hugging her tightly and crying.